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What Are You in For?
He said, "What were you arrested for, kid?" And I said, "Littering." And they all moved away from me on the bench there...
A stock line whenever a prison is involved, often with I Always Wanted to Say That
thrown in for good measure. Either one of the main characters will ask this to somebody else, or one of the 'locals' will ask the main cast. If the question is posed to the main cast, we often won't hear the reply, since we
already know what went before, and it's probably far too bizarre to explain
A Dead Horse Trope
more often Lampshaded
than played straight.
Someone's crime will likely have involved pulling the tag off of a mattress or pillow.
Bonus points if he's treated as the worst or scariest of the lot.
In Real Life
(at least in UK prisons) they often already know - they read the daily courtcase roundup in the local paper so already know who's been sentenced for what and how long. In countries where this is not the case (Russia, for example), they still either already know or will soon be able to verify your words, using the rumor telegraph and illegally smuggling notes and letters from facility to facility.
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- In a MAD parody of The Longest Yard (first version), this results in a long list of murders, ending with "and strangling a tractor".
- Krage asks this question at the end of the Marvel Adventures: The Avengers comic he appears in to Fancy Dan (who mistakenly spam-called Iron Man).
- Underground comics author Dan O'Neill was sued by Disney for using company characters in a couple of comic books. He defiantly persisted, drawing up his legal travails in a comic strip, concluding with his imagining how he'd fare in prison, his cellmate played by Pegleg Pete:
Pete: Hi, mate, I'm in for rape and murder. How 'bout you?
O'Neill [nervously]: Uhh...I drew a picture of Mickey Mouse...
- In Swamp Thing, Abby goes to jail for "crimes against nature" when her relationship with the title character becomes public knowledge. Her cellmate, after relating how she was caught shoplifting, asks her what she's in for. Abby, in no mood for small talk, says, "Hugging vegetables." The cellmate backs away to the other end of the bench.
- In The Walking Dead the heroes ask this question of the small group of surviving inmates they encounter at the zombie-infested prison and are are told armed robbery, tax fraud, drugs, and murder. It's probably not hard to pick out which one of these is eventually, horribly, revealed to be a bald-faced lie.
- In Bloodsucking Fiends by Christopher Moore, the protagonist, Tommy, is in jail. He asks his cell mate what he's in for, and the man replies 'copyright infringement', which he admits isn't really the sort of offense they put you in jail for. Ripping a lawyer's arms out of their sockets, however, is.
- Winston muses that a question like this is essentially moot in 1984. There is only one crime the Party cares about, so the answer is always thoughtcrime.
- In Help I Am Being Held Prisoner by Donald Westlake, the protagonist played a silly prank that ended in a traffic accident. Because said accident resulted in the exposure of a politician's unsavory sexual habits, said politician pulls strings so the protagonist will get punished as hard as possible. Because of this his sentence and the description of his crime, while ambigously vague, make him sound like a hardened, inhuman murderer - so the toughest gang in prison recruit him to their schemes...
- In the second part of The Stranger, when Meursault is first put into prison, a few people ask him what he's in for. "Killing an Arab." Guess what kind of people are mostly in that prison.
- When Harry of Incompetence is arrested for Impersonating an Officer, he is forced into a massively overcrowded holding cell for people who are awaiting trial. He notes that asking What Are You in For? used to be a taboo question until an overabundance of regulations and laws that makes criminals of everybody means that hardened criminals need to know if they are mixing with real crooks or people who are arrested for displaying their fruits in pounds instead of kilos.
- As alluded to in the explanatory section, Wade from U.S. Acres steps on a rake, sending him into a musical number, followed by a short trial sentencing him to 9999 years in prison. Once there, two inmates brag about their crimes. When Wade sheepishly admits his, the other two pull on the bars, terrified of sharing a cell with such a psychopath.
- Similar to this, in a comic strip, two criminals are bragging about their crimes, when their third cellmate says that he's in for beating up Santa, causing the other two to cower in a corner.
- In an older Dilbert story, Dilbert was sent to jail after killing one of the company executives with an ear of corn. Mere seconds after he shares this with his cellmate...
Dilbert: Hey, look! Corn for lunch. Can you believe that?
- In another strip, the Pointy-Haired Boss decides to rent to firm's unused cubicles to the state - as cells for prisoners. Cue the criminal asking Dilbert what he's in for.
- In yet another, Dogbert converts the house to an upscale prison. Dilbert bitterly explains this to the asking prisoner, who concludes that he's the wrong guy to talk to during happy hour.
- In one Bloom County strip, Opus ends up in jail, and learns that his new cellmate is in for "strangling Oakland." And no, it's not a colorful sports metaphor. It means he strangled each and every single person in Oakland.
Stand Up Comedy
- Madea Goes To Jail. Well the titular character's cellmate already knows why she's there.
- A Gulag Mouse. Prushka the Mouse reveals she's serving ten years for telling an "anecdot" - anti-government joke.
- In the second Bottom Live stage show:
Eddie: That's Geoffrey Nasty, the Psychopathic Penis-Remover.
Richie: Oh! What's he in for?
Eddie:(exasperated) Removing penises!
- In Mask of the Betrayer, the Wychlaran of Mulsantir allows you to take one of the local prisoners to fight with you against the giant bear spirits waiting outside the gaits. Naturally, you get to ask what they're in for: Groznek killed some men who taunted him; Joeb's in for pickpocketing; and Gannayev is there because, well...
- In Skyrim you can be thrown in the Markath prison mine. An Ork in there answers the question with:
- In Batman: Arkham Origins, when you infiltrate Blackgate Prison for a second time, you can overhear this exchange via Enemy Chatter:
Oh man, I can't wait. I'm going straight to O'Kane's, havin' a pint. Criminal B:
What's it been for you man, eight years? Criminal A:
Twelve. Criminal B:
And what they put you in for? Criminal A:
Drinkin' and drivin'. Criminal C:
Ha, an' you're gonna go have a pint? Criminal A:
What are you, the damn parole board? I ain't rehabilitated, and I'm really thirsty. Criminal C:
Whatever, just don't drive. You could kill someone. Criminal A:
Yeah yeah, don't worry. What are you in for, anyway? Criminal C (matter-of-fact): Manslaughter
- Max Payne 2 features a long (and hilarious) conversation between two guys stuck in the police stations holding cell about how one of them ended up getting arrested because he ended up stealing a car that had a murder weapon in it. He asks the other guy what he's in for and he just says "Who, me? DUI."
- Mass Effect 2 - Shepard can ask this of an NPC on the Purgatory Prison Ship. He casually explains that he killed a few people - only about twenty or so - and blew up "that one habitat". This is apparently small-time by Purgatory standards.
- In this Dominic Deegan strip.
- Freefall has Florence (the sentient wolf) in the dog pound, asking this question to the pooch in the next cage.
- In Girl Genius, Phil Foglio is in prison for including the Prince as a character in his story. And when Agatha enters Castle Heterodyne, she is asked if she can cook, and says yes. Then, when asked what she's in for, she says she poisoned thirty-seven people because they complained about her cooking.
- In The Lydian Option, played straight with the prisoners revealing offenses ranging from the major (murder) to the minor (a bar fight), all with the same punishment.
- The title character of Rosa sardonically asks her dead skeleton cellmate, Ol' Gil, this question.
- The Simpsons:
- In the episode Spongebob Meets The Strangler;
Tattletale Strangler: (in prison) Well, at least I'm safe from that yellow idiot.
Patrick: (in the same cell as him) Hey, mac. (The Strangler faces him) What're you in for?
- In Garfield and Friends, Wade, after ripping the a tag off the bottom of a couch and learning that it's against the law, imagines himself in a prison cell with two dangerous-looking criminals:
First criminal: I've robbed 50 banks and 60 gas stations.
Second criminal: Yeah? well, I robbed 70 banks, see, and 90 gas stations. And I stole the Klopman Diamond. What are you in for?
Wade: Uh, I tore a tag off a pillow.
(the criminals run for the bars and scream for help)
- Animaniacs: Rita asks Runt this when they first meet in the city pound. Runt's answer is "peeing on the floor".
- An episode of Men In Black: The Series features an alien race that's downright obsessive about law and order, complete with an ultra-brutal gulag for housing the many, many lawbreakers they round up. How strict are they? When Jay finds himself in the prison, he asks a fellow inmate what he's in for, and, well, it turns out they take their mattress tags very seriously.
- In the made-for-tv Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends movie "Good Wilt Hunting", Wilt ends up in prison. His cellmates are explaining what they're in for, before they get to Wilt. Wilt just says "I broke a little boy's heart."
- One episode of Scooby-Doo! Mystery Incorporated has the gang trying to get help from one of the people they've put away. Shaggy and Scooby, in their usual fashion, slink away to the cafeteria. One inmate asks them what they're in for, and Shaggy responds "The food!"