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Mr./Ms./President Herbert/Janet Garrison
"I tell you, there's some crazy stuff going on in this town."
Voiced by: Trey Parker
Debut: "Cartman Gets an Anal Probe"The boys' eccentric homeroom teacher throughout most of the series. He used to carry a sarcastic hand puppet with him (two, actually: Mr. Hat and Mr. Twig), but later left them behind. His gender and sexual preferences have been in constant flux.
- Angry White Man: He's been intolerant of pretty much everyone and everything, believing at various points in the series that gay marriage, teaching evolution, wealthy black people and immigrants are all a threat to the American way of life, regardless of how they may affect him.
- Anti-Villain: After he finds out he might actually win the presidency, he becomes horrified that he could take the job from someone more qualified. He then proceeds to do all he can to sabotage his campaign. After actually becoming president he drops the "Anti" part.
- Anything That Moves: He's been anything that moves and back again at this point.
- Apathetic Teacher: When he's not busy belittling his students, he basically phones in his job.
- Ax-Crazy: Has tendencies of this.
- Badass Teacher: He's had moments of this, but one thing that cements this is during "Where My Country Gone", where he's the first to boldly stand up to PC Principal, and the first to get away with it.
- Bad "Bad Acting": His ventriloquist act... isn't.
- Big Bad Ensemble: With Bedrager, the Member Berries, and Gerald in Season 20.
- Boomerang Bigot: He becomes homophobic after his sex reassignment surgery drives away Mr. Slave, then misandric once more men are driven away by his sex change (thus turning toward lesbianism), and transphobic when he finally gets the sex change reversed.
- Catchphrase: Occasionally, when he or Mr. Hat is angry:"You go to hell! You go to hell and you die!"
- In Season 20, he starts saying, "Oh, jeez!" in a scared tone frequently.
- Brilliant, but Lazy: How else can you explain such an ineffectual teacher building an marketing something that made planes obsolete?
- Cloud Cuckoolander: He believes Mr. Hat and Mr. Twig to be sentient beings, for starters. Though eventually, it turns out they are.
- Comedic Sociopathy: His actions are all played for comedy.
- Companion Cube: Mr. Hat and Mr. Twig. Subverted, as they actually are alive.
- The Corrupter: The "Go God Go" episodes reveal that, had Garrison (after the first sex change) developed a relationship with evolutionary biologist and known atheist Richard Dawkins, he would've convinced Dawkins to use his beliefs to eradicate religion from the world by being as much of an asshole as humanly possible. This would've created the Bad Future Cartman got stuck in, where Garrison's influence sparked centuries of war and violence across the Earth simply because the three atheist factions followed Dawkins' (and Garrison's) example by insisting they each had the answer to the ultimate question: what to name the faction of atheists. Thankfully, Cartman accidentally stops this from happening.
- Demoted to Dragon: To the Member Berries.
- Demoted to Extra: Originally the second-most prominent adult on the show, he's now limited to a single line in scenes inside the classroom. Subverted in Seasons 19 and 20 however, when he returns to prominence with a vengeance.
- Depraved Homosexual: He's been a Depraved Homosexual, a Depraved Heterosexual, a Psycho Lesbian... He's a depraved whatever-his-orientation-is-at-the-moment. As Chef puts it:"Children, there's a big difference between gay people and Mr. Garrison."
- Despair Event Horizon: He stated that he'll lose all faith in humanity if he gets elected to be president over Clinton. He wins.
- Dirty Coward: In "Super Fun Time" he tries to sacrifice some children to save himself from gunmen.Please, don't take me. Take the children, they're worth more for you!
- The Dreaded: Becomes this after being elected president. The people of South Park are horrified at the very sight of him and he even manages to make PC Principal tremble in fear with his mere presence.
- Dynamic Character: Of all the cast, Garrison's story is one of the most dramatic in the show, and wouldn't be out of place on a soap opera. Over the course of the series, he's gone from being a closeted homosexual, to an outed homosexual, then got a sex change so he was a heterosexual woman, became a lesbian, and then got another sex change so he's now a heterosexual man. Then he ran for president, then he got afraid of what would happen to the country if he actually won, before admitting to the entire nation that he's not a good person, and went on to become the president-elect.
- Evil Counterpart: Is hinted to be one for Big Gay Al. While Al is out and proud, stylish and wears a pink shirt, Mr. Garrison is self-loathing, plainly dressed and wears a green shirt. Mr. Garrison made Stan feel like a wuss for getting beaten by his sister, while Big Gay Al taught Stan that being gay isn't a bad thing. Big Gay Al is kind to animals, while Mr. Garrison rammed a gerbil up Mr. Slave's rectum. Mr. Garrison uses "fag" as a slur against gays, while Big Gay Al wants to reappropriate it to use against Harley riders. Both are mentor figures to the main boys and have had a relationship with Mr. Slave.
- Even Evil Has Standards: He becomes frightened of the reality of a person like him being the leader of the entire country, and the ignorance that is fueling his supporters and campaign. And his efforts to sabotage himself are all for naught because they still soak up his every word.Garrison: I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. I had no idea I would get this far, but the fact of the matter is, I should not be President. Okay? I will fuck up this country beyond repair. I am a sick, angry little man.
- Evil Is Petty: When he becomes President he goes around and tells everyone to suck his dick.
- Evil Puppeteer: Downplayed. He has his puppet Mr. Hat in the first few seasons, but although he's not exactly evil, he's a major Jerkass.
- First Law of Gender-Bending: Played straight in the episode where he first gets the male-to-female operation. He changes his mind, but his testicles get destroyed and he is unable to go back to being a man until the Season 12 episode mentioned above. Then subverted in Season 12, when he gets another operation to go back.
- Freudian Excuse: Inverted. He has been deeply tormented all his life because his father didn't molest him as a child, thinking it meant that his father didn't love him. Bizarrely, his mom also thinks the same thing.Garrison's Mom: That's not true! Your father loved you! Often!
- Possibly played straight as her reaction implied she did molest him.
- From Nobody to Nightmare: He goes from a simple 4th grade teacher to the President of the United Fucking States
- Gay Conservative: Despite his ever-changing sexual orientation he is generally depicted as being one of the town's Republicans rather than a Democrat.
- Green and Mean: Typically wears a green shirt.
- Hair-Trigger Temper: The only adult in South Park as remotely volatile as Eric Cartman.
- Have I Mentioned I Am Heterosexual Today?: He was this way before coming out of the closet.
- Hypocrite / Hypocritical Humor: His hatred of the Canadian president was never presented as anything but this.
- It's All About Me: Got a sex-change operation because he wanted to be a woman. Mr. Slave was understandably upset, as Mr. Garrison expected him to just turn straight and accept a change he didn't get a say in. It gets worse in a later episode when trying to "take Mr. Slave back," completely failing to once more understand just why Mr. Slave left. And when Garrison learns Mr. Slave was going to marry Big Gay Al, Garrison decided to help make gay marriage illegal just out of spite.
- Jerkass: Though since his second change in Season 12, this has been toned down somewhat. He is, however, incredibly racist.
- Kick the Son of a Bitch: In Where My Country Gone, he fucks the Canadian President to death.
- Know-Nothing Know-It-All: Whenever he tries to teach children. From the first episode alone: "Christopher Columbus discovered America and was the Indians' best friend. He helped the Indians win their war against Frederick Douglass, and freed the Hebrews from Napoleon, and discovered France." Becomes a Running Gag in later seasons when he tries to teach the children the plots of various popular plays and television shows, for example presenting the plots of Game of Thrones and Les Miserables as real history.
- Leitmotif: As of Members Only, his leitmotif has become a Dark Reprise of "Hail to the Chief".
- Morality Pet: Kenny seems to be a student he has a soft spot for, as he spoke a heartfelt eulogy for him in Kenny Dies and tried to feed him when he was off life-support in Best Friends Forever.
- Never My Fault: Mr. Garrison often gets mad at his students when they show others in the town how little they actually know despite the fact that he's clearly never taught them any actual school subjects.
- No Celebrities Were Harmed: As of season 20, he's become an Expy (or rather a jab at) of Donald Trump.
- Pet the Dog: In "Best Friends Forever", Mr. Garrison is arrested for trying to bring food and water to Kenny whilst the latter is in the hospital.
- Politically Incorrect Villain: He is racist, homophobic, and misogynistic among many other prejudices. In one Christmas special, he travels to non-Christian countries to admonish people for not celebrating Christmas in a particularly hilarious song.
- President Evil: He gains the Republican nomination and eventually wins the 2016 Presidential election on a platform of fucking all the immigrants to death. Of course, this could also be considered a subversion, as it's the member berries that have infected his mind following his attempts at self-sabotage.
- Puppet President: Despite being President, he little more than a pawn for the member berries to use.
- Rape as Backstory: Averted, much to his disappointment.
- Red and Black and Evil All Over: Wears a black suit and red tie after becoming President.
- Sadist Teacher: His emotional imbalances cause him to be this quite often.
- Serial Rapist: He as President Garrison has gone around, fucking his employees to death.
- Soft-Spoken Sadist: His tone is calm, soft, and even courteous when telling PC Principal to suck his dick.
- Springtime for Hitler: Throughout Season 20, Mr. Garrison tried to sabotage his own Presidential campaign, from sitting during the National Anthem (which backfired due to the Anthem being rebooted by J.J. Abrams, allowing the person to either stand, sit, or kneel during the anthem) to telling dirty jokes during his campaign rallies, and ultimately, pleading with his followers to vote for Hillary Clinton. They were all for naught, as Garrison was elected President, due to interference by the Member Berries.
- Straight Gay: While he's had his campy moments, he's by and large this, and you probably wouldn't be able to tell that he's gay just by the way he acts whenever he's in the classroom, unlike Big Guy Al, who's obviously gay.
- Straw Misogynist:Well I'm sorry, I just don't trust something that bleeds for five days and doesn't die.
- Then Let Me Be Evil: After despairing at the notion of someone like himself becoming President, he sinks into depression and questions the sanity of humanity. When he is elected, he jumps off the proverbial wagon and abuses his authority every chance he gets... but he's come under the influence of the Member Berries.
- Transparent Closet: For the first few seasons.
- Transsexual: Became a woman in Season 9 and then a man again in Season 12.
- Turn in Your Badge:
- Unwitting Instigator of Doom: In Season 19 he decides to run for president so he can kick the immigrants out of South Park. This leads to the whole town becoming the laughingstock of the whole country. To counter this, the locals gentrify the town to appear classy and enlightened. The upkeep costs more than the locals can afford and it's not long before the homeless population begins to rise, with Randy and several other people contemplating moving to another town to survive.
- Villain Protagonist: Of Season 20 along with Skankhunt42.
- You Are What You Hate:
- He was quite homophobic in the early seasons before coming to terms with his sexuality. Then he became homophobic again after becoming a woman... until s/he became a lesbian.
- He kills the evil Canadian president, only to become a politician fueled by sensationalist fervor himself. They even share similar stances on immigration.
Jerome "Chef" McElroy
"Hello there, children!"
Voiced by: Isaac Hayes (regular voice), Peter Serafinowicz (Darth Chef)
Debut: "Cartman Gets an Anal Probe"
Final appearance: "The Return of Chef"The school chef and token minority of the early seasons (Seasons 1-9). The former go-to guy for advice for the boys, which was often dispensed in R-rated songs about making love to women.
- Big Beautiful Man: Women love his chocolate balls even though he's overweight.
- Been There, Shaped History: "Chef Aid" revealed that he did this with the music industry, having been influential in giving raise to Ozzy Osborne, Meatloaf, and Elton John's stardom.
- Brainwashed and Crazy: In his final episode.
- Catch-Phrase: "Hello there, children!"
- Dropped a Bridge on Him: A massively violent and gory one to boot. Given the falling out between his voice actor and the rest of the staff, it's not at all surprising. Reappears in South Park: The Stick of Truth, only to die again... and his skin is burnt off.
- Everyone Calls Him "Barkeep": Everyone calls him "Chef", even outside of his job.
- Hypocrite: In some instances (ie. "Fat Camp", "Ike's Wee Wee"), he would snap at the children for asking him questions about sexual matters, but he's the one who always breaks into songs about making love to women when they go to him for advice.
- Impaled with Extreme Prejudice: Along with many other things, such as mutilation.
- Intercourse with You: The subject nearly every time he sings, intentional or not.
- Killed Off for Real: In "The Return of Chef". Or maybe not. Except yes.
- Longer-Than-Life Sentence: Subverted in "Chef Aid", when Chef sues Capitalist Records for plagiarism and is found guilty of harassing a big company. The judge declares that Chef must either pay two million dollars or serve eight million years in prison. However, when someone informs the judge that nobody can be forced to serve more than four years for what Chef is being sentenced for, the judge does comply and says that Chef will serve four years in prison if he doesn't pay.
- Loveable Sex Maniac: He has had sex with a lot of people.
- Magical Negro: In fact, while he was on the show he seemed to be the only adult with any kind of common sense. Subverted when he sometimes decides that helping the boys would be more trouble than it's worth. And when Chef goes crazy, he really goes crazy.
Chef: Hello there, children!Stan: Chef! What would a priest want to stick up my butt?Chef: ...g'bye!
- In "Simpsons Already Did It", for example, he starts singing a song when he realizes the boys just told him that they killed their teacher and the autopsy found their "sea men" in her stomach, and he starts preparing to send them to Thailand instead.
- In the episode "Red Hot Catholic Love", when the confused boys asked Chef why the priest wanted to put something on their butts and what, he walks away.
Chef: Dag-nabbit, children! How come every time you come in here you've got to be asking me questions I shouldn't be answering!? "Chef, what's a clitoris? What's a lesbian, Chef? How come they call it a rim job Chef?!" For once, can't you kids come in here and say "Hey Chef, nice day isn't it?!"
- Similarly, when they ask him what a prostitute is in "Fat Camp" he gets angry:
Chef: It's a what? A giant snake? Killing everybody? Growing bigger? Children, you know I rarely say this but, well... fudge it.
- The earliest example comes in "Summer Sucks", when the boys call him for help.
*hangs up the phone*
Kyle: What'd he say?
Stan: Dude, I think he told us to go fuck ourselves.
Kyle: How's that gonna help?
- Mentor Occupational Hazard: Although this was really just a case of Real Life Writes the Plot.
- Not So Above It All: Sometimes Chef can be just as crazy as the other townspeople, such as in "Conjoined Fetus Lady" and "Jared Has Aides".
- N-Word Privileges: Subverted. He calls the boys "crackers". Of course, the boys don't even know what it means. (Although Cartman does later on, as he says to Stan: "Token is gonna want to kick your cracker teeth in!")
- Only Sane Man: At least among the other adults. Until his final episode, in which he was brainwashed into becoming a child molester.
- Pluralses: While at the proctologist, he at one point tells Kyle that a proctologist is, "a doctor that specializes in your asshole."
- Really Gets Around: He has a lot of sex with a lot of women.
- Reasonable Authority Figure: One of the more reasonable school staff members.
- Take Our Word for It: Whenever the children ask about something he really doesn't want to tell them.
- Token Minority: The only non-white adult in the town in the early seasons.
- Verbal Tic: Always greets the kids with "Hello there, children.", even if there's only one of them. His father has also been heard using "children" when referring to one child. Although it was Cartman, so it could have been a fat joke - Cartman also had another child's soul in him at the time, making it technically accurate.
- Where Da White Women At?: He has had sex with lots of white women (cf. "An Elephant Makes Love to a Pig", where, while watching Kyle's elephant make love to Cartman's pig, Chef realizes that it's similar to the many times he's made it with a white woman), but really, he's not picky.
"Drugs are bad, mmm-kay?"
Voiced by: Trey Parker
Debut: "Mr. Hankey, the Christmas Poo"South Park Elementary's guidance counselor with a very large head. Incredibly mellow, mmm-kay?
- Berserk Button: Don't crap in the urinal. Don't touch his mountain of stuff. Don't take tooth decay even remotely lightly. And don't partake in whatever other new childhood trauma-spawned pet peeve he's dealing with this week.
- Beware the Nice Ones: Is often nice unless one of his various aforementioned buttons are pushed.
- Butt-Monkey: Most of the kids have no respect for him whatsoever, as shown in "Mystery of the Urinal Deuce" and "Erection Day".
- Clueless Aesop: Often tries to deliver messages to the kids with no logic or knowledge behind them. At one point he fails at teaching sex ed because he's forgotten how it works.
- Department of Redundancy Department: While giving his "Drugs Are Bad" speech in "Ike's Wee Wee".Mr. Mackey: Drugs are bad, m'kay. You shouldn't do drugs. If you do them, you're bad, because drugs are bad, m'kay. It's a bad thing to do drugs, so don't be bad by doing drugs, m'kay, that'd be bad.
- Drugs Are Bad: The Trope Namer, heavily parodied. After giving an anti-drug speech to the class, he got busted for allegedly holding marijuana, leading to him being fired. The ensuing depression and poverty led him to using the same drugs he talked about to cope.
- Flanderization: "Mystery of the Urinal Deuce" and onward have begun play up the angry aspect of his personality. That was originally a one off/one time thing, but with Seasons 14 onward, Mr. Mackey's temper has become more frequent to the point of consuming his personality. Many fans feel that this has derailed his character severely. Compare "Ike's Wee Wee" to "Royal Pudding".
- Freudian Excuse: The reason for his stern attitude towards directing a play about tooth decay is because his father was killed by tooth decay.
- Hair-Trigger Temper: He seems to have developed quite a nasty one recently, for example in "Mystery of the Urinal Deuce", "Insheeption" and "Royal Pudding"."I will rape you in the fucking mouth, m'kay! I will rape you in the fucking mouth!"
- He Who Fights Monsters: In "Bass to Mouth", he (along with the Principal Victoria) severely rebukes Cartman for nearly driving two kids to suicide. The near-end of the episode sees him throwing Cartman under a moving bus, while making it look like a suicide, for his own purposes.
- Meaningful Name: Say his name out loud a few times.
- Ominous Owl: In "Insheeption", he's revealed to have a hoarding problem stemming from a childhood incident when he was molested by a Woodsy Owl mascot ("Give a hoot, don't pollute!"). When Mr. Mackey faces up to this traumatic memory in a dream, the owl mascot turns into a monstrous embodiment of Mr. Mackey's trauma. Eventually, believe it or not, the other people in the dream have to bring in Freddy Krueger to stop the owl.
- The Starscream: He made a false accusation against Principal Victoria to get her fired because he was tired of being her dogsbody. This ultimately backfires on him as PC Principal turns out to be much worse.
- Stern Teacher: Although he's started crossing over into Sadist Teacher as of late (see above episodes).
- Too Dumb to Live: No one in their right mind would accept a gift from Eric Cartman of all people after throwing him bodily under a bus. You can't really feel sympathy for Mackey's comeuppance in this episode.
- Took a Level in Jerkass: Seasons 14 onwards. After having to deal with Scott Malkinson's Wangst for hours (if not days) on end, Mr. Mackey just stops caring. Granted, it's not hard to sympathise with him by the end of it.
- Verbal Tic: Mr. Mackey ends most of his sentences with "m'kay". It also crosses over into other languages; when speaking Spanish in "Rainforest Schmainforest" he uses "m'bien".
Voiced by: Trey Parker (2000-2002)
Debut: "Fourth Grade"
Final appearance: "The Simpsons Already Did It"A grossly big-breasted woman who temporarily teaches the 4th graders until her death in Season 6.
- Death by Irony: It seems, from the comments made about the contents of her stomach post-mortem, that she literally... well, I'm sure you can figure it out.
- Extreme Doormat: Until Mr. Garrison teaches her how to keep her students from walking all over her.
- Fan Disservice: The sex scene between her and Mr. Mackey in "Proper Condom Use".
- Gag Boobs: They practically sag to her feet. In one episode the rest of the staff discusses asking her to wear a giant bra but they are too afraid of offending her to do so.
- Killed Off for Real: In Season 6.
- Meaningful Name: Just read it out loud. Interestingly, the children never catch on to this obvious source of mockery, instead calling her "Ms Makesmesick" or some tame variation thereof.
- Stern Teacher: She at least tries to be this.
"Ooh my, what an exciting day!"
Voiced by: Mary Kay Bergman (1997-1999), Eliza Schneider (1999-2003), April Stewart (2004-2015)
Debut: "Pinkeye"The principal of South Park Elementary, constantly trying to please everyone and failing.
- Berserk Button: She has zero tolerance for jokes about breast cancer, to the point where she not only allowed, but encouraged Wendy to beat up Cartman for making fun of it. This stems from the fact that she is a breast cancer survivor.
- Bi the Way: Cartman's Mom Is A Dirty Slut indicates that she had sex with Liane at some point.
- The Bus Came Back: She shows up in the middle of Season 19 after being fired, to bring Mr. Garrison into the conspiracy.
- Eyepatch After Time Skip: She's walking with a limp and a cane instead of an eyepatch, but the trope is still played straight.
- Meaningful Name: A spoonerism of Dallas actress' Victoria Principal's name.
- Only Sane Woman: With Chef being Killed Off for Real, Ms. Victoria now remains the closest to this trope out of the school faculty.
- Pointy-Haired Boss: She just can't deal with anyone's stupidity and cave to Cartman's demand a lot.
- Put on a Bus: She's fired off-screen at the start of Season 19 and is replaced by PC Principal.
- Stoners Are Funny: In "Helen Keller! The Musical".
"SIT DOWN AND SHUT UP!"
Voiced by: Mary Kay Bergman (1997-1999), Eliza Schneider (1999-2003)
Debut: "Cartman Gets an Anal Probe"
Final appearance: "Cartman's Incredible Gift"The school bus driver in the early seasons of the show.
- A Day in the Limelight: Subverted. She had a prominent role in "City On The Edge Of Forever", though it turns out to be part of a dream within a dream, something that even the "dream" Veronica Crabtree acknowledges.
- Breaking the Fourth Wall: In "Cartman's Incredible Gift", Sergeant Yates addresses her lack of prominence in the show whilst investigating her murder."I know she hadn't been in any recent episodes, but dammit, she deserved better than this."
- Catch-Phrase: "WHAT DID YOU SAY?!"
- Given Name Reveal: Not that there was much point by the time it's revealed.
- Jerkass: Unfriendly and always shouting at the kids.
- Kick the Dog: In "City On The Edge Of Forever", she continually threatens to shoot a cute little bunny if the kids don't "sit down and shut up." Though it's later revealed to have all been part of Stan's double-dream, this raises questions as to how much he (and possibly the other children) feared her.
- Killed Off for Real: Was murdered by Michael Deats (a.k.a. the left hand killer) in "Cartman's Incredible Gift".
- No Indoor Voice: Crabtree yells almost all the time.
- Put on a Bus: Ironic trope indeed. "The Simpsons Already Did It" was her last proper appearance, aside from a cameo in the ending of "I'm A Little Bit Country". She disappeared for a while, until... well... see Killed Off for Real.
- Running Gag: Kids would say something rude or vulgar, only for Mrs. Crabtree to yell "WHAT DID YOU SAY?!" The kid would respond with something non-vulgar that sounded similar, and she would let it go. Example:Stan: Yeah, whatever, ya fat bitch!
Ms. Crabtree: WHAT DID YOU SAY?!
Stan: I said I have a bad itch.
Ms. Crabtree: Oh.
Stan: We're not getting on, you fat ugly bitch!
- Played With in "Cartman's Mom is a Dirty Slut":
Ms. Crabtree: WHAT DID YOU SAY?!?
Stan: I said "We're not getting on, you fat ugly bitch."
Ms. Crabtree: Oh. Alright then... (drives away)
Kyle: Whoa dude.
Stan: I always wondered if that would work.
Voiced by: Katherine Howell
Debut: "Miss Teacher Bangs A Boy"
Final appearance: "Miss Teacher Bangs A Boy"A new kindergarten teacher who forms a sexual relationship with Ike, who is four years old.
- The Alcoholic: Not really, but she used this as an excuse to leave prison for rehab.
- Disney Villain Death: Jumps off a building rather than live without Ike.
- Driven to Suicide: When the police corner her, she jumps off a roof. She tries to convince Ike to go with her, but he reneges at the last second.
- Freudian Excuse: According to her, she was forced by her uncle to engage in incestuous acts with her sister. In the present, she engages in sex with a child.
- Killed Off for Real: Dies after jumping off the airport roof.
- Pedo Hunt: Averted. When the police are told that one of the teachers is a pedophile, they're ready to arrest them. However, when they find out that it's Ms. Stevenson, they stop caring, and they revere Ike for getting lucky with her.
- Screw the Rules, I'm Beautiful!: The police refuse to arrest her on the grounds that a boy like Ike should be happy to sleep with her.
"Watch your microaggressions, bro!"
Voiced by: Trey Parker
Debut: "Stunning and Brave"South Park Elementary's replacement for Principal Victoria in Season 19's "Stunning and Brave", and the main antagonist of the season. He's a violent frat boy dedicated to being as politically correct as possible, while forcing others to be the same way.
- Ambiguously Human: He's seen in an ad with Leslie, who is an ad herself. However, it isn't clear if this was fabricated by the ads to mess with his head, or if he genuinely was an ad who somehow managed to go against his programming.
- Angry White Man: Subverted. He's only prejudiced against his own kind, but is just as petty about it. Played straight towards the ads.
- Badass Armfold: Often crosses his arms in such a way as to leave his fingers under his arms and his thumbs sticking up above.
- Badass Teacher: As of Season 20.
- Big Bad: Of season 19. Until the end of it, that is.
- Big Good: Has taken this position as of Season 20.
- The Bully: Although he genuinely believes in what he preaches.
- Can't Take Criticism: Eh... kind of. If you criticize his methods, he'll at best brush it off by assuming you straight-up don't know what you're talking about or at worst verbally lash you out. That said, it's not impossible (though if Butters and Jimmy are any indication, the negative consequences of his actions have to be obvious) to make him see what mistakes he makes, and when he does, he partially blue screens and may try to even make some amends.
- Catch-Phrase: "Alright evenyone, listen up!"
- Character Development: In season 20, his Jerkass tendencies are toned down and he's more neutral when it comes to the conflict between the boys and the girls, letting the boys have the same rights the girls have despite their gender supposedly having more "privilege". Further highlighted when he firmly but politely tells Butters to stop protesting during a school presentation. A noticeable change from the way he used to handle Leslie whispering in the exact same scenario.
- He has also stopped bending over backwards for Cartman's schemes whenever Cartman comes to him wanting something.
- Comically Missing the Point: He is triggered by Cartman saying spokesman instead of spokesperson when Cartman intend to frame him for pedophilia.
- Cool Shades: He and his PC friends all wear the same brand of sunglasses.
- Create Your Own Villain: His efforts to make South Park Elementary a PC environment, specifically in regards to the influx of Canadian immigrants, were what led to Mr. Garrison becoming president, as the latter gleefully points out when he returns to town after being elected.
- Even Evil Has Standards: He's a douche, but he would never use his progressive views to try and get laid. He even calls in a meeting with the other PC bros to tell them that doing so is insincere and manipulative.
- By Season 21, he's started to get sick of Cartman constantly demanding he help him feel better about himself in school.
- Evil Counterpart: He may be considered one to Kyle. While they're both Hot-Blooded individuals who both don't shy away from using overzealous methods to solving what they perceive as problems, and while Kyle also has had his Knight Templar moments, he still has much more genuine compassion and understanding compared to PC Principal's almost single-minded hostile nature. In short, PC Principal is what you get when you take all of Kyle's negative traits and take them Up to Eleven.
- Eviler Than Thou: Granted, Cartman is also evil, but he's basically Cartman with a desire to fight bigotry and prejudice... through bullying people about completely benign "microaggressions". Their first encounter ended with Cartman in the hospital.
- Fratbro: He is one, and opens up a new PC fraternity in South Park shortly after becoming principal.
- Hair-Trigger Temper: He beats Cartman within an inch of his life after Cartman tries to blackmail him by soaking Butters' underwear with PC Principal's urine. However, this is not what set him off. What sets him off is that Cartman used the word "capiche" when intimidating him, implying to him that Italian-Americans are all mobsters. Then he used the word "spokesman" instead of the word "spokesperson" in reference to Jared Fogle, implying to him that women aren't capable of selling Subway sandwiches. He also spends the majority of his debut episode antagonizing Kyle for not thinking Caitlyn Jenner is a hero.
- Heel–Face Turn: Is built up as the Big Bad of season 19, but turns good in the finale and kills the true Big Bad, Leslie. He remains in South Park as the principal, and vows to take down the ads for their oppression of humanity.
- Hidden Depths:
- Despite coming across as a Hot-Blooded bully, in "Where My Country Gone" he seemed a little bit intimidated by Mr. Garrison when he continued to rant on about the "undocumented" Canadian immigrants even after being fired (the fact that PC Principal doesn't attack or speak up against Mr. Garrison certainly suggests this).
- The musical segment of the episode "Safe Space" reveals he too has a Safe Space, implying that he has a fear of being shamed and wants to be protected from it.
- In contrast to his PCA bros, he genuinely believes in political correctness, as exemplified when he chides his bros for using PC to score with the ladies.
- Was clearly absolutely terrified of Garrison when he returned as president elect.
- His Name Really Is "Barkeep": From "The City Part of Town":PC Principal: Hey, bro. I'm the new principal of the school. My name's PC Principal.
- Horrible Judge of Character: When the girls tell him that Cartman is harassing them online as skankhunt42, he dismisses this because of all the PC work Cartman has done recently. It actually isn't Cartman, but PC Principal still should've looked into it. Later on, in an effort to end the conflict between the boys and girls, he brings in Bill Clinton and Bill Cosby to teach the boys about being gentlemen.
- Hypocritical Humor: He criticizes South Park Elementary for not having any ethnic minorities aside from Token. Meanwhile, his PC Fraternity is composed entirely of privileged, cis-gendered white men.
- His frathouse filled Kyle's room with pigs that have "Biggit" painted on their skin. Apparently animal exploitation and antisemitism aren't as big an issue as making sure no-one uses gender-exclusive pronouns (though he may have simply been unaware that Kyle was Jewish).
- He threatens and inflicts physical harm on children, then has the gall to demand that other people resign.
- He spends his first appearance harassing Kyle for not blindly Hero Worshiping Caitlin Jenner for being transgender in spite of the fact that her beliefs are the exact opposite of his, and the next episode he fires Mr Garrison (also (twice) transgender) for expressing pretty similar views. To drive the point home, he then uses those views to run for president with Caitlin as his running mate.
- Irony: Has the appearance and demeanor of the blond buff bro stereotype, the type of people who the stereotype of an SJW would hate the most.
- Jerkass: Threatens anyone who disagrees with him with several weeks of detention. He's especially hard on Kyle, who has put up with a lot of political incorrectness over the years. This aspect of his character gets dropped after Season 19.
- Karma Houdini: Aside from realizing that he's just a pawn for the ads, he hasn't received any sort of karmic retribution for the egregious amount of harm he's inflicted on others in his pursuit of social justice.
- Karma Houdini Warranty: Near the end of Season 20, he has to live with the fact that his actions partially caused one of the most politically incorrect characters to become president, who proceeds to rub it in his face, and force him to suck his dick.
- Kick the Son of a Bitch: In his first episode alone, he savagely attacks a ten-year old because they used the words "capiche" and "spokesman". That being said, the ten-year old was Cartman who said those words when he was attempting blackmail.
- Knight Templar: He's so self-righteous and overzealous in his ideals that he almost makes Cartman look genuinely heroic. So far the only group he's actually managed to help are... overweight Americans with thin skin. And Nathan.
- Meaningful Name: His name actually is PC Principal, so him being politically correct is a given. It also has a double meaning. In addition to being politically correct, he's also a pawn for the ads, kind of like a PC, as in a Personal Computer.
- Motor Mouth: Even in rare times where he's not being hostile to anyone, he talks in a somewhat excitable matter.
- My God, What Have I Done?: Near the end of 'Safe Space', he's shown feeling genuinely guilty for pushing Butters too hard when he had him running a Safe Space for too many people.PC Principal: I guess... I asked too much of one kid. (Sniffles)
- He's horrified when he discovers he threatened to break Jimmy's legs, the same Jimmy who needs crutches to get around to begin with. When he lectures him on using the word "retarded" he is much more mature and restrained than he was towards Cartman.
- He's fully aware that firing Garrison back in "Where My Country Gone?" was what allowed him to run for, and ultimately win, the election, and is very shaken about it.
- Pet the Dog: He does everything he can to help Cartman during "Safe Space", but does it in a jerkass way that ends with him giving Kyle and Wendy two weeks detention for not helping Cartman.
- He also feels bad about making Butters censor too many people's social media feeds, which resulted in the latter almost killing himself.
- When the boys start marching through the halls with their wieners out, PC just shrugs it off as their right to protest. This could be out of sympathy for all the boys who lost their girlfriends, or because he still feels guilty for what happened to Butters in the last season.
- Political Correctness Gone Mad: He and his bros run entirely on this. You will be PC around him, otherwise he'll give you detention, regardless of whether you're a student or not. Resist any further, and he'll beat you until you're nearly dead.
- Politically Correct Villain: Before his Heel–Face Turn, he's a bully who imposes his morality on everyone and is willing to violently assault people over microaggressions and statements that are politically insensitive, instead of the things they actually deserve to be violently assaulted over.
- Pre-Asskicking One-Liner: At the end of Season 19 to Leslie.PC Principal: You're expelled.
- Reasonable Authority Figure: Evolves into this by the time Season 20 rolls around. When the girls complain about the boys retaliating against their protests with a counter-protest, PC Principal doesn't cry sexism.
- Running Gag: "God-damnit, Leslie, shut your fucking pie hole!"
- Selective Obliviousness: In pursuing political correctness, he has outright stated that parts of the situation he is dealing with are immaterial - for example, in "Tweek x Craig", he is so fixated with teaching Tweek and Craig affirmative consent that he outright states that the fact that they are not gay has no importance whatsoever.
- In The Fractured But Whole he assaults a guy because the guy told his Latino friend he looked tired. The Latino man tells PC Principal he actually is feeling tired and PC Principal assaults him too.
- Skewed Priorities: Meant to be Played for Laughs, he beats up Cartman for using the word "spokesman" instead of "spokesperson" and "capiche" in that all Italians are part of The Mafia while ignoring the fact that Cartman is framing him for pedophilia.
- Soapbox Sadie: A rare, male example. Although as much of a self-righteous Jerkass he can be, he genuinely believes in his preaching, unlike the rest of his compatriots, who are only doing it to impress the ladies.
- Straw Character: Of Social Justice Warriors.
- Tomato in the Mirror: An ambiguous case. He is led to believe that he is actually an ad, but it's never specified if this was just the ads trying to mess with his head after he starts going against their agenda, or if he truly is an ad who ended up Becoming the Mask and turning against his own kind due to their intolerance.
- Took a Level in Kindness: After realising that the ads have marginalised all of humanity, he starts treating the students with respect and tolerance regardless of their race or gender.
- Toxic Friend Influence: He and his frathouse suckered Randy into their group by offering him beer. Remember that Randy's an alcoholic. He also got Randy to break into Kyle's house and harass him, risking jail time while PC Principal can plan his next attack on the poor boy.
- Unwitting Instigator of Doom: In the 19th Season, he fired Garrison out of disagreements with immigrants. That was the stepping stone that allowed Garrison to rise as the most powerful man in America, which Garrison himself points out next season.
- Unwitting Pawn: To the ads.
- Well-Intentioned Extremist: You'd think that coming to South Park with the desire to spread tolerance and anti-bigotry would make him a benign figure... except his methods only prove him to be little more than a bully. Later episodes reveal that despite being the harbinger of PC fanaticism, he's the only one who isn't using political correctness for personal gain e.g. seducing young women.
- Would Hurt a Child:
- He feels no regret in nearly beating Cartman to death for saying "capiche" when intimidating him and saying "spokesman" instead of "spokesperson".
- Kills Leslie at the end of Season 19, although Leslie isn't actually human.
"And here's another present...from Wendy. Oh, why, it's a dead animal. Thank you, Wendy."
Voiced by: Natasha Henstridge
Debut: "Tom's Rhinoplasty"
Final appearance: "Tom's Rhinoplasty"A female substitute teacher that caught the attraction of the boys. Also The Rival of Wendy Testaburger due to thinking that there's a connection between her (Ms. Ellen) and Stan.
- Apathetic Citizen: Isn't shocked or disgusted when she receives a dead animal as a present from Wendy.
- Hot Teacher: What the boys think of her.
- Killed Off for Real: Gets killed off near the end of "Tom's Rhinoplasty" when a bunch of Iraqis shoot her into the center of the sun.
- One-Shot Character: Because she got Killed Off for Real at the end of the episode. The closest she's received to a reappearance is being shown on Stan's drawing in "The Mexican Staring Frog of Southern Sri Lanka".
- The Rival: To Wendy Testaburger. Stan is one of the boys infatuated by Ms. Ellen and she seemingly takes a liking to him, which causes Wendy to go Ax-Crazy, and her attempts to win Stan back fail after her beauty is overshadowed by Ms. Ellen's. She even goes as far as hiring a bunch of Iraqis to shoot her into the center of the sun, and throws a party in celebration of her death.
- Teacher/Student Romance: Seemed to have this with Stan, but when they went out to dinner she tells him that there's no connection between them since she's her teacher, thus, they are only friends.
- "Stop screwin' around!"
Voiced by: Matt Stone
Debut: "Tweek vs. Craig"The boys' shop teacher. He hates kids that "screw around", and once had a difficult time coping with the loss of his wife.
- Addiction Displacement: An Implied Trope. He compulsively chews nicotine gum when he has flashbacks of his wife's death, suggesting that he originally coped by smoking. When he runs out of gum, he attempts suicide.
- Bait-and-Switch: When he says "Jesus Christ, what was I thinking?!" during his suicide attempt on the table saw, you'd think that he regrets his decision to commit suicide, but instead he turns his body upwards on the table saw so his head is facing the blade rather than his genitalia.
- Berserk Button: Don't screw around in his class.
- Blatant Lies: When Clyde interrupts him from reminiscing his wife's timeline, he asks if his wife is dead. Adler responds "no!" and tells him to get back to work so he doesn't ask any further questions and discover his secret.
- Catch-Phrase: "Stop screwin' around!" and other variations on it.
- Interrupted Suicide: When he comes close to death, Tweek and Craig are sent through the shop class window and their "screwing around" distracts him from killing himself.
- The Lost Lenore: Constantly has flashbacks to his wife's fatal yet ridiculous accident.
- One Steve Limit: Averted. "Richard" is also the name of Tweek's dad.
- Skewed Priorities: Tries to kill himself because he runs out of nicotine gum. Couldn't he just buy some more?
- Start of Darkness: Becomes one of the Cthulhu-worshippers. Clearly he's still not over the death of his wife even years after his episode.
Nurse Mary Gollum
"What I really want to say is, egh... Well, this may sound odd coming from a woman with a fetus sticking out of her head, but... You're all a bunch of freaks!"
Voiced by: Mary Kay Bergman (1998), Kari Turner (the Unaired Pilot)
Debut: The Unaired Pilot, "Conjoined Fetus Lady" (series)The nurse at South Park Elementary who has a dead fetus attached to her head, and as such, she was outcasted for her deformity.
- Born Unlucky: She never wanted the deformity in the first place. The only reason she doesn't consider removing it is because doing so would cause her death.
- Butt-Monkey: All the kids were disgusted by her birth defect, and even some of the adults too (like Gerald).
- Chuck Cunningham Syndrome: She has been inexplicably absent in the series for several years and hasn't been seen since the Season 9 episode "Two Days Before the Day After Tomorrow". Before that, her last speaking role was in "Roger Ebert Should Lay off the Fatty Foods".
- Conjoined Twins: Has a conjoined fetus twin attached to her head.
- A Day in the Limelight: "Conjoined Fetus Lady".
- Early Installment Character-Design Difference: In the unaired pilot version of "Cartman Gets an Anal Probe", she wasn't depicted with the conjoined fetus.
- Hypocritical Humor: In the unaired pilot, when the boys visit the nurse office after they witness Cartman farting fire, Gollum calls out the boys out for telling Pip (who also had to visit due to hitting his head on the playground equipment) to shut up. But once the boys leave and Pip says he hopes Cartman is okay, she tells him to shut up.
- Sudden Name Change: The unaired pilot had her surname as "McSchwartz", but it would later be changed to "Gollum" in "Conjoined Fetus Lady".
- Vocal Evolution: Her original appearance in the unaired pilot had her with a deeper voice, due to having a different VA (Kari Turner) rather than Mary Kay Bergman.