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Webcomic / Breakfast of the Gods

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Part of a well-balanced apocalypse.

Breakfast of the Gods is a completed Webcomic by Brendan Douglas Jones in three volumes, best described as Watchmen played out by breakfast cereal mascots. The comic disappeared from the internet without warning some time in mid-late 2013, probably due to copyright/trademark infringement concerns, then reappeared on a dedicated site, which has been taken down and restored a few times over the years. Currently (June 2022) it's down, but it can also be found on It is also available as a print-on-demand book containing all three volumes in 8.5 x 11 inch format. Likewise some fans have got it saved as a PDF file, you can find it here.

The Honey Nut Cheerios Bee's corpse washes up on a beach and all fingers point toward Count Chocula as the perpetrator. Snap, Crackle and Pop disappear shortly thereafter, and Cap'n Crunch and Tony the Tiger investigate. What eventually ensues is an all-out war for the fate of Cerealia, waged between the heroic defenders of everyone's balanced breakfast and the villainous denizens of the night as well as their extraterrestrial allies, the dreaded Soggies.

This work provides examples of:

  • Adaptational Villainy: Count Chocula, big time, but this also applies to most characters on his side (Frankenberry, Lucky, Froot Broot, etc...)
  • Always Night: The area Count Chocula controls is always heavily overcast, even in the daytime. Complete with rainless lightning storm.
  • …And That Little Girl Was Me: Jarvis with a short one. It might seem like a Noodle Incident, but it's a reference to when General Mills briefly replaced Lucky with Waldo the Wizard as the mascot for Lucky Charms.
  • And This Is for...: Alfie delivers the line as he avenges Cap'n Crunch on Jean LaFoote.
  • Anyone Can Die: Oh, so true.
  • Apologetic Attacker: Sonny during the final battle. Even before this, his Renfeldian ramblings make it clear that despite being a complete loon he knows how just atrocious his actions are and genuinely doesn't want to do them... it's just that Count Chocula is using his addiction against him and forcing him.
  • Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking:
    "Here is perpetual night, the darkness suited only to the likes of thieves, murderers, and late-night snackers."
    • For Frankenberry's profile, it's said that the evil deeds he commits for the Count include "kidnapping, torture, murder, [and] grocery shopping"
  • The Bartender: Coco the Monkey is the bartender of Sam's Loophole.
  • The Berserker: Super Bear, Froot Brute, and Sonny.
  • Big Bad: Count Chocula. Instead of being a friendly vampire who just wanted to share his cereal, he is now a more traditional vampiric overlord who wants to plunge Cerealia into an eternal night.
  • Big Damn Heroes: When all the other snack food mascots show up for the final battle. The comments on that page were all basically variations of "Holy shit!"
  • Big Good: Cap'n Crunch and Tony the Tiger form a Big Good Duumvirate. Tony by himself after Crunch's death.
  • Bittersweet Ending: Lampshaded by King Vitaman in his speech to everyone. Many sacrifices have been made, including the deaths of several characters, but the evils that threatened Cerealia are gone and the land is now at peace.
  • The Cavalry: Quisp and the Crunch kids, and a boatload of snack-food mascots. Alfie even calls them "the whole danged cavalry".
  • Cereal Vice Reward: Oh, so subverted. Giving in to one's cereal cravings is a good way to end up a traitor, a raving junkie or a rampaging engine of destruction.
  • Changed My Mind, Kid: Before leaving for the final battle, Cookie Cop releases Cookie Crook from jail (since there won't be anybody to guard or take care of him) and asks him to join the fight. Cookie Crook just runs off... but then shows up in mid-battle just in time to save Cookie Cop.
    Cookie Crook: Just don't tell our ma. I've got a rep to maintain.
  • Cradling Your Kill: Count Chocula, after he's drained and killed the Trix Rabbit. It's also a Pietà Plagiarism in that the position of the two figures is nearly identical to that on Michelangelo's statue. However, the character in the "Mary" position is most assuredly not mourning the death of the character in the "Jesus" position.
  • Darker and Edgier / Bloodier and Gorier: A comic that does this really well. Jones manages to darken the tone without resorting to darkening the appearance, except where it's appropriate — inside the Count's castle, for instance. The bright, cheerful colors just make it worse.
  • Deconstruction Crossover
  • Despair Event Horizon: Trix Rabbit teeters on the edge of this for quite some time, following his actions at Sam's in Book 2.
  • The Dragon: Frankenberry, to Chocula.
  • Driven to Suicide: The Trix Rabbit tries (and fails) to hang himself in remorse for having betrayed Cap'n Crunch. BossMoss prevents it.
  • Dual Wielding: Sonny dual wields fighting knives during the final battle.
  • Eyepatch of Power: Tony's, after the tortured-to-madness Crunchberry Beast gouges out his eye.
  • Eye Scream: An insane Crunchberry Beast gores out one of Tony's eyes before Dig 'Em shoots him.
  • Fallen Hero: Quake starts off the final battle having been recruited to Count Chocula's side.
  • Fantastic Drug: Cereal. What else? It's how Sugar Bear turns into Super Bear (and why he's trying to stay away from it), how Count Chocula coerces the Trix Rabbit into helping him kill Cap'n Crunch, and how the Count keeps Sonny under his absolute control. As they say, cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs.
  • The Friend Nobody Likes: The Honey Nut Bee. Almost nobody shows up to his funeral, and even Tony admits that he was annoying. Cap'n Crunch, who is the Big Good and probably the nicest person in the entire comic, doesn't even disagree with him... though he's still disappointed that people didn't even want to pay their respects for someone they knew.
  • Gainax Ending: Played for Laughs and likely non-canon. In the last couple of panels we find out Cerealia is one piece of cereal in a bowl of milk, which is then eaten by the author.
  • Gambit Roulette: Subverted. One of Count Chocula's allies points out near the end that the Count's mysterious "plan" has never been anything of the sort.
  • Go into the Light: The Quaker Man is cast in the role of God welcoming Cap'n Crunch into the afterlife.
  • Gondor Calls for Aid: When the battle against Chocula's forces start, it doesn't go well especially when the Soggies get involved. However during the break in the battle, Crunch's wards manages to round up mascots outside the cereal realm (The Keebler elves, Chester Cheetah, Kool-Aid Man, Twinkie the Kid, The Campbell's Soup Kids, etc) allowing Tony's side to give a much more even battle.
  • Gory Discretion Shot: Involving Twinkie The Kid and Dig'em. Twinkie the Kid has just saved Dig 'Em's life, and then has his head blown off off-panel while the focus is on Dig' Em's shocked face.
  • Gratuitous Latin: Jarvis's final spell is grammatically correct Latin (except for one word that's in English).
  • Greater-Scope Paragon: The Quaker Oatmeal Man, whose only role in the story is to welcome Cap'n Crunch into the afterlife.
  • Healing Factor: Tony slashes Count Chocula with his paw and rips half his face off. Chocula no-sells it and his face regenerates in a few seconds.
  • Heel–Face Turn Quake, after Quisp tells him to "remember who you are!"
  • Heel Realization: King Ayummayumma has one watching the battle between his tribesmen and the heroes and realizing he was tricked by Chocula. He decides to drink poison.
  • I Cannot Self-Terminate: Implied with Sonny, who whispers "thank you" right before Super Bear rips his head off.
  • "I Know You're in There Somewhere" Fight: Jarvis to Sugar Bear after the battle, when he (Jarvis) is trying to help him (SB) shake off his berserker alter ego, Super Bear.
  • I Want My Mommy!: Marky Maypo's usual "I want my Maypo!" catchphrase turns into this during the final battle.
  • I'm Not Doing That Again: After Sugar Bear returns to his old self, he tells Tony that he is never invoking Super Bear again.
  • Innocent Innuendo: Anything involving the Hostess Crew... sent by King Ding-Dong.
  • Libation for the Dead: Dig 'Em Frog pours out a libation in honor of Cap'n Crunch at the funeral service.
  • Living Battery: The reason King Vitaman was missing is that he was hidden away to be used as this to boost Cerealia's defenses.
  • Massive Multiplayer Crossover: The basic premise is one: all of the characters are breakfast cereal mascots, and which side they are on has nothing to do with which company made their respective cereals. The crossover becomes even more massive when all the other food mascots join in the fight.
  • Master of Disguise: The Trix Rabbit.
  • The Mole: Boo Berry turns out to have a pivotal role in saving the day.
  • More Expendable Than You: King Vitaman volunteered to serve as a Living Battery because he felt that could better be spared than the other candidates: Cap'n Crunch would be needed for the battle ahead, and Tony the Tiger had a family.
  • Mundane Made Awesome: Breakfast cereal mascots kicking ass. Yes.
  • My God, What Have I Done?: Quake says this when he realizes his petty grudge is bringing death to the cereal people he once protected.
  • Neutral No Longer:
    • When Toucan Sam is first introduced, all he's interested in is staying out of the mess, but after Cap'n Crunch's death he decides he can no longer remain neutral. This is only natural, as he's basically written as Rick from Casablanca.
    • Likewise Sugar Bear though it takes him a little longer to come around. With good reason, Super Bear is powerful but uncontrollable.
  • Obligatory Swearing: Provided by Dig 'Em and the Cookie Cop.
  • Politically Incorrect Hero: Dig 'Em has a homophobic moment when Lord Ding Dong and the Hostess crew show up. He gets over it and has a real Heel Realization when Twinkie the Kid saves his life, only to get killed himself seconds later, in the final battle.
  • Pre-Mortem One-Liner: Quake's "But something you should know about me, Sogmaster — I'm Lactose Intolerant!!"
  • Redemption Equals Death: Both the Trix Rabbit, who shows up for the final battle dressed as a ninja, and Quake, who single-handedly takes down the Soggies' mother ship.
  • Sacrificial Lion: Cap'n Crunch, again.
  • Shown Their Work: The number of forgotten cereal mascots who come into play proves this trope.
  • Sir Swears-a-Lot: Dig 'Em can't string two sentences together without adding at least one swear word. About 90% of all the comic's swearing comes from him.
  • Stepford Snarker: Boo Berry in the early parts of the comic. He haunts Chocula's castle, but as a non-corporeal ghost he can't do anything to stop the villainy of Chocula and Frankenberry. He copes by joking about everything.
  • Stout Strength: Flying Brick Quake has let himself go quite a lot from the old days, but he's still just as powerful.
  • Superpowered Evil Side: Sugar Bear spends most of the comic trying to stay out of the fight because he's terrified of turning into Super Bear. His concern is entirely justified.
  • Take Up My Sword: From Cap'n Crunch to Alfie, via Seadog.
  • Took a Level in Badass: Alfie, when he goes up against Jean LaFoote.
  • Torture Technician: Frankenberry. He likes this part of his job. He likes it a lot. He's also very, very good at it. Honey Nut Cheerios Bee and Snap, Crackle, and Pop bear the brunt of his work.
  • Tragic Hero: Trix Rabbit.
  • Tragic Monster: Sonny and the Fruit Brute. This does not keep Super Bear from ripping Sonny's head off or smashing Froot Brute's like a grape. (Though Sonny is actually grateful for it, judging by how his last words are "thank you.")
  • Ultimate Showdown of Ultimate Destiny: Among breakfast cereal mascots, no less!
  • Wacky Wayside Tribe: The webcomic both invokes and plays with this trope with King Ayummayumma and the Fruit Islanders.
  • Your Head A-Splode: Strongly implied, but not actually shown with Twinkie The Kid; see the entry for Gory Discretion Shot. Also, it might not have been his head...