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Funny / Strong Bad's Cool Game for Attractive People

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The Tutorial

  • Strong Bad is demonstrating the "sucking-up", or "angel me", dialogue setting, by trying to give Bubs a compliment.
    Strong Bad: Cheer up Bubs! At least you're not on fire!
    Bubs: That's the best compliment you could come up with?

Homestar Ruiner

  • The game starts with a song about how you can't handle Strong Bad's style, and goes from there.
  • Strong Bad's various attempts to get into Strong Sad's room (and Strong Sad's responses), from offering Strong Sad's favorite "nasty ethnic food" ("I don't believe in favoring one food over another.") to acting like an angry stepmother ("You're not even my real mom!")
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  • Strong Bad makes a prank call to Coach Z using Homestar's cell phone and frames him for putting itching powder on the coach's jock straps for the last three years. Strong Bad then hangs up and says, "Well, that should get me off the hook. But the creepy thing is, Coach Z has never actually complained about it."
  • Strong Bad can also use the cell phone to prank-call himself... by pretending to be Homestar claiming to be an attractive woman. Once he hangs up, he looks around for a bit before remarking, "Well, that was more than a little weird."
  • Attempting to prank call Homsar will cause Strong Bad to get confused by the nonsense coming from his answering machine, so he foregoes the prank.
    Homsar: AaaAAaaaaAaaa! Step right up, I'm a crudely drawn cupcake! Don't forget your tapesicle!
    Strong Bad: Uh... (hangs up) That was completely meaningless and made my brain throw up.
  • The interactive Teen Girl Squad minigame has some funny moments:
    • if you use the ringtone on one girl, a rat appears and asks "Dang, is that Brainkreig? I love cheese. I mean Brainkreig." Use the cell phone on the same girl and she is stampeded by rats.
      Narrator: RATS LIKE METAL!! (Apparently)
      Girl: Does this mean I can get outta my contract? (dies)
    • Using the kissyface in the first scene has the girl using it flirting with no one in particular before being asked who she's talking to.
    • Have one of the girls try to kiss Basketballa results in them getting a face-full of "TEEN BOY STINK!" If you used the perfume on that girl, the "perfume stank" and "athletic stonk" somehow combine to form toxic mustard gas.
      Girl: Oh, the chemistry!
    • Using the candy bar on The Ugly One during the third scene has her get zapped by a robotic penguin for smuggling outside food past "concession stand security". Then the penguin eats the bar himself and chokes on it.
      Mayor: What will our fair city do without this brave robotic duck?!
      Robotic Penguin: ...Penguin.
      Mayor: No, you kiddin' me? A penguin, huh? All this time...
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  • After you ask Homestar about the Race to the End of the Race and end your conversation with him, Homestar gets a call from Marzipan, and his response shows he's getting tired of her bugging him about the preparations for the victory party.
    Homestar: Marzipan just wanted my opinion on the decorations... and the cake jugglers... and the plight of the lowlands toad weasel... and the, the... (descends into Angrish, then drop-kicks his cell phone across the track) Pardon me, I'm off to the locker room to reacquire my game-face.
  • The entire part where Strong Bad needs to retrieve Homestar's criminal record from the King Of Town's Castle, which is actually a stealth mission where you have to evade the Poopsmith and Strong Mad. All the possible lines when you pick a hiding place for Strong Bad and all the possible lines if you're discovered are hilarious.
    Strong Bad: Activate cloaking device! Whaowhaowhaoawhaowhao!
    Strong Bad: (hiding behind a conveniently-shaped potted shrub) It's Arbor Day, Strongly Brown!
    Strong Bad: (picking up a plunger) By the power of... uh... (Nauseated) brown skull...
    Strong Bad: Stealth-action Strong Bad comes with everything you see here!

    Strong Mad: (As he stomps towards Strong Bad) Footstep! Footstep! Footstep!

    The Poopsmith: "!?"
    Strong Bad: Oh crunch.
    The Poopsmith: "You again?!"
    Strong Bad: Oh, crunchberries.

    Strong Bad: (jumping up into air vent in ceiling) Looks like I'm gonna have to jump...!
    (jumps up into vent just as Strong Mad arrives)
    Strong Mad: (to the Poopsmith) INTRUDER ALERT?
    The Poopsmith: "?"
    Strong Mad: INTRUDER ALERT?
    The Poopsmith: "???"
    Strong Bad: (from inside the ceiling vent directly above Strong Mad) It's a good thing Strong Mad doesn't have a neck, or he might be able to look up.
    • If you jump back down on the vent where Strong Mad and the Poopsmith are standing, Strong Bad delivers this:
      Strong Bad: Aw, whatsit.
    • While going through the airvents, you'll pass another vent and hear the King of Town from another room. Sometimes he'll be saying stuff like "I think Thursday should be called Nougat Day, which will be filled with rich, creamy nougat!" But the kicker is when you hear him messily eating, followed by an enormous belch; he then laments "Oh, dear. I've eaten my foot. Again."
  • The reason why Strong Bad's no longer allowed to any of Marizpan's parties: It involves him wearing an eyepatch, claiming to be "Lord Barglebroth, come for [their] souls", demanding "All shall kneel before my style!" and jumping off the roof of her house into a cake.
  • "IRONY!"
  • If you try putting the Total Load on Strong Mad's locker before Pom Pom's, you get this:
    Coach Z: Hey, Strong Mad!
    Strong Mad: (jumps through the roof) OH YEAAAAAAH!
    Coach Z: What have I told you about using this Total Load Total Body Energy Enhancer Powder stuff?
    Strong Mad: ONLY ON TUESDAYS!
    Coach Z: And what day is it today?
    Strong Mad: UH... HAPPY NEW YEAR!
    Coach Z: Close enough. Now get this stuff out of here, okay?
    Strong Mad: AULD LANG SYNE! (jumps up through the roof)
    Coach Z: Now that is one smart kid. Thanks for clearing that up, Strong Bad. Who knows what kinda whatsit storm Strong Mad woulda unleashed if he went off his schedule!

Strong Badia the Free

  • Strong Bad's explanation for why he didn't hear about the e-mail tax.
    Marzipan: Didn't you see the warning message about the new e-mail tax?
    Strong Bad: {imitating Marzipan} No, I didn't see the warning message about the new e-mail tax. {speaking normally} All messages from the King of Town get intercepted with extreme prejudice by my idiot filter.
    Homestar: But I sent you all kinds of reminder e-mails!
    Strong Bad: Idiot filter.
    Strong Bad: Idiot— nevermind.
  • The gang has set up an effigy of the King of Town outside Strong Bad's house, consisting mainly of an old stick.
    Strong Bad: Why'd you bring that ugly, misshapen stick?
    Homestar: She organized the protest rally!
    Strong Bad: Not Marzipan! (to himself) Though that's a pretty good one. Gotta remember that. I'm talking 'bout that stick dangerously close to the invisible fence.
    Coach Z: It's an orfigy of the King of Town! Arfigy! RPG! First-Person Shooter!
  • Homestar has trouble remembering what the protest is about, and can occasionally be heard chanting "I-want-a-soda!" and shouting "Save the bats!"
  • After Strong Bad gets placed under house arrest, he makes a "call to arms" to his fellow citizens gathered outside his window.
    Strong Bad: Who's with me?
    Strong Mad: (shakes a fist) STRONG MAD!
    Coach Z: (raises a hand) Me!
  • You can try wheedling the Cheat into joining up with Strong Bad, which leads to Strong Bad saying "Come on!" and "The Cheat!" in an increasingly whiny, drawn-out fashion.
  • In the Homsar Reservation, Strong Bad can find some ancient cave paintings... which inspires him to create "Cave Girl Squad":
    Cheerleader: Challah, cave-girls! Today's the big mammoth hunt, and you know what that means.
    So-And-So: An in-depth study of the indigenous megafauna?
    What's-Her-Face: Some kinda weird CG-filled cable special?
    The Ugg-ly One: More parasites for my...
    Cheerleader: It's boys, alright?! It's always boys!
    • Give the wheel to So-and-So at the right time, and she and Ogg will drive off in a Flintstones-style car... only to blast off and suffer "THE OPPOSITE OF RE-ENTRY'D!"
      So-And-So: I shoulda made that heat shield outta bamboo and coconuts!!!
    • The best ending leads to Charles Darwin subjecting a dino-people version of the Teen Girl Squad to an obnoxiously loud boombox: "SURVIVAL OF THE PHATTEST!"
  • This exchange, when trying to get the Homestarmy back together:
    Strong Bad: I thought we were bros!
    Homestar: Wait, I thought I thought we were bros, and you're always beating various stuffings out of me.
    • Later, after your failed attempt at reinstating the draft:
      Homestar: Well, the draft didn't work, Strong Bad. Only one thing left to do: Clone an army of mutant super-soldiers.
      Strong Bad: No, Homestar, we... (quickly taken by surprise) Wait. That was an option? How come you come up with the unbelievably cool ideas only AFTER I'm committed to this one?
  • One of the "battles" between Homestar and Coach Z in Maps & Minions:
    (cut to the two in the field)
    Coach Z: (to Homestar) Fair enough, I'll go. (leaves)
    • This is especially funny because it's the second battle, and after that they don't even bother with the Versus Character Splash.
  • Homestar's reactions to the failed results for the Draft Wheel, including Li'l Brudder, the Bennedetto brothers, and... Homestar Runner.
    Homestar: And the winner is... Homestar Runner! I believe that the winner is right here in our studio!
    Homestar: I can't make me serve, fascist!
    Homestar: Uh-oh. Looks like like we've got ourselves an artful draft dodger, ladies and gentlemen.
    Homestar: No war! No war! What are all y'alls fighting for?!
    Homestar: What is my major malfunction, Private?!
    Strong Bad: Homestar, you can't draft yourself.
    Homestar: Really? I wish I'd known before I signed up for this chicken outfit. Never mind. Bwa-kawk!
  • Strong Bad's attempt at speaking Homsar's language at the Homsar Reservation. "Dah, I broke the tip off my stipend!" When you get the mystic pylon up and running and can understand Homsar's language, trying to speak the language will cause Homsar to complain "Why are you talking gibberish, Strong Bad? You sound like a two-years-old boy."
    • There's another funny moment in how we hear Strong Bad and Homsar speak normally when Strong Bad is trying to convince Homsar to join him in fighting the King of Town, then it briefly cuts to Strong Sad's POV where he can't understand any of the word salads exchanged between them.
      Homsar: (deep voice) Why should my people risk open war for you and your considerable style?
      Strong Bad: We're not gonna risk a war, we're gonna start one! Listen to what that royal boil did to me! First, he...
      (Cut to Strong Sad's point of view)
      Strong Bad: ...wrinkled the top off the breads and cereals group!
      Homsar: My baseboards are full of chicken sticks!
      Strong Sad: (confused) Whaaaaat?
      (Cut back to Strong Bad's actual conversation with Homsar)
      Strong Bad: ...and he's really fat and stupid.
      • Once Homsar is convinced to join Strong Bad's cause, there's this...
        Homsar: But first, you must complete the three ancient tasks of great boredom.
        Strong Bad: (shocked/annoyed) WHAT?!?
        Homsar: Nah, man, just messin' with ya. Let's do this like Brutus.
  • The scenes where you trick Strong Sad into thinking he has pretendicitis.
    Strong Sad: I'm burning up! According to this thermometeur, my skin should be melting off!
    • After you convince Strong Sad that he pretendicitis he panics and runs off screaming to the nearest hospital...only to return a few seconds later.
      Strong Bad: That didn't take long.
      Strong Sad: Turns out the Homsar Reservation has free health care.
  • After putting a glowstick inside a drink in Pompomerania...
    Strong Bad: Now we're talking! I bet you can see this thing from space! Hey astronauts, throw me down some freeze-dried ice cream! And none of that Neapolitan crap!
  • The "fight" with the Taranchula standee is pretty hilarious, but the best part comes at the end of the fight: after Strong Bad chops off both heads on the Taranchula standee, controlled by Strong Mad, thereby "defeating" it, an anguished Strong Mad looks upward and cries, "WHY, STRONG BAD, WHY?!?"
    • During said fight, if you inspect the pile of Papier-mâché skulls, Strong Bad wonders aloud how Strong Mad convinced Marzipan to make them for him. The big guy's response confirms that Marzipan helped, but as for how he got said help?
  • The final line of the game after Strong Bad tricks The King of Town into reclaiming his throne and repealing the e-mail tax.
    The King of Town: I sure showed him a thing or tw—aw, crap.
  • Related to the above, the game's stinger line, spoken by the King of Town:
    The King of Town: What's a king gotta do to get some chili mac up in here?

Baddest of the Bands

  • When Strong Sad tells Strong Bad to take the broken Funmachine to Bubs, Strong Bad whines "But Bubs'll probably make me pay for it! With money!" Bubs then suddenly appears in the House of the Brothers Strong to chime in with "I also accept first-born children."
  • Strong Sad, as a security guard, gets even with Strong Bad:
    Strong Sad: I prefer to keep the peace through rational discourse... backed up by ten-thousand volts! (electrocutes Strong Bad with a taser)
  • "Puttin' bat hutches in my pants, hope I don't get bit!"
  • All the instances of Strong Bad Abuse. He gets hit with Marzipan's guitar twice (once for real, and once in a flashback) and electrocuted at least three times.
  • Solving one puzzle requires Strong Bad to get Marzipan to make out an autographed poster for Coach Z. You can also ask her to make one out to several other characters, with various humorous results, including:
    • Strong Bad: "To Awesome Strong Bad: You are not awesome. Love, Marzipan."
    • Homestar Runner: Peeved that Homestar apparently can't be bothered to ask for one in person, Marzipan writes an unseen diatribe that Strong Bad describes as "written domestic abuse".
      • Give the signed glossy to Homestar, and:
    Homestar: Ooh, that's one saucy signature!
    • Homsar: "Dear Homsar: Spaghetti, dump truck, laser beams! Wheezily, Matzah Ball."
  • "And now for a moldy oldie from the Pomarino himself..."
  • After you get Cool Tapes to join the Battle Royale:
    Marzipan: Here's our entry form, and tell Bubs that our entry fee will be in the mail.
    Strong Bad: Couldn't you just give me the money?
    Marzipan: Sure. I could also comb my hair with live scorpions, but that doesn't make it a good idea.
    Strong Bad: You're right, it's a great idea!
  • If you talk to The Cheat after sabotaging both Cool Tapes (the band The Cheat is in) and the Two-O-Duo (the band The Cheat watches when he gets a break), you get the following exchange:
    Strong Bad: What's the word, The Cheat?
    The Cheat: (The Cheat noises)
    Strong Bad: What's a "schadenfreude"?
  • The result of Strong Bad sabotaging the Two-O-Duo:
    Bubs: (as Coach Z advances on him as part of their dance break) Uh-oh!
    Coach Z: (punching Bubs to the rhythm of their music) Da punches, da punches!
    Bubs: No! Quit it! Ow! Knock it—! Stop!
    (everything stops with a Record Needle Scratch)
    Coach Z: (terrified about what he just did) Oh, jeez!
    Bubs: (VERY angry at Coach Z) THAT'S IT! I don't know why I thought it would be a good idea to get back together with a big clumsy dumsy like you...
    Strong Bad: (quickly) That was all me!
    Bubs: ...but I'm never, ever, EVER sharing a stage, arena, or transient men's motel lounge with you ever again! EVER!
    (Bubs leaves in a huff; the Two-O-Duo's approval drops despite Coach Z's efforts at soloing it)
    • "That's the third time this week I've gotten them to reunite and break up again in the same day!"
  • If you talk to Coach Z at the PomStar stage after sabotaging the Two-O Duo, but before sabotaging Pom Pom and Homestar:
    Strong Bad: Tired of trying to make things work as the One-O-Uno?
    Coach Z: Aw, Bubs'll be back. He loves me like a brother! (beat) Hates me like a brother, too!
  • After indirectly dumping bleach in a pond, Strong Bad sheds a tear for the dead fish.
    Strong Bad: Woah, sorry. Must have got some bleach in my eye. Nasty stuff!
  • The King of Town: "Did someone say? Bleached? Buttered? BATS??!!"

Dangeresque 3: The Criminal Projective

  • Bubs as Baron Darin Diamonicle asks Strong Bad as Dangeresque why he should help him with solving a kidnapping and breaking into a hideout.
    Strong Bad: (threateningly) Because if you don't, I'll have you transferred to Tri-Lambda Penitentiary!
    Bubs: With all the white-collar criminals, hackers, and illegal downloaders of anime?
    Strong Bad: That's right. NERD PRISON!
  • Strong Sad as the "CGI" monster in the Catacombs. Strong Bad stops the movie to berate The Cheat for it. "Fix it in Post?! This is Post!"
  • When Dangeresque hears his long-lost father is wandering around Venice:
    Dangeresque: Pack your bags, Renaldo. We're going to France- (jump cut) We're going to Italy!
    • Hilariously, he follows it up with "Yep, Venice. And I know exactly where it is located."
      • This line is even more hilarious when you consider the player has the ability to set locations anywhere on their (Real world) map, meaning you could feasibly place Venice in Africa.
  • This rather creepy exchange:
    Renaldo: Well, it's not about the money for me, Dangeresque. I just want to be a hero one more time before I retire.
    Dangeresque: {creepily admirable tone} You'll always be a hero to me, Renaldo.
    Renaldo: {disturbed} ...Uncomfortable...!
  • Dadgeresque's death scene:
    • And then Senor Cardgage gets up halfway through the scene and walks off. On camera.
  • After Dadgeresque "dies", Dangeresque aims his nunchuk gun at Homestar as Uzi Bazooka and delivers this line:
  • During the Professor's introduction, he throws a pair of safety scissors at the wall... and misses. Jump cut to the scissors finally embedded in the wall, and about four indentations as well.
  • The scenes where Dangeresque draws his nunchuck gun out on someone. Top prize goes to when he tries to draw it out on The Poopsmith playing the female hostage, but can't due to cracking up.
  • At the beginning of the final scene, Dangeresque confronts Dangeresque Too (whom he thinks is Uzi Bazooka), while the latter tries to free Renaldo. The ensuing "Not What It Looks Like" conversation is interrupted when one of the space station's "windows" fall off the wall, bringing the take to a complete halt while Strong Bad is in the middle of his line.
  • During the confrontation between Dangeresque 2 and his Evil Twin Uzi Bazooka (both played by Homestar Runner), there's a split-screen effect...with neither side of the screen even close to matching up, making it look like they're on elevators which are going different directions.
  • The Reveal that Uzi Bazooka is just a robotic duplicate of Dangersque Too working for the real mastermind: The Cheat! "Craig" proceeds to go into a villainous monologue done entirely in The Cheat-talk, with a voice-over providing translation. Said voiceover is Mike Chapman doing his "Powered-by-The-Cheat Strong Bad" voice.

8-Bit Is Enough

  • If you try to leave the House of the Brothers Strong before talking to Strong Sad, he'll remark "You can't take on Trogdor without calling Product Support first! You'll void your warranty, and maybe your bladder!"
  • Homestar playing the part of Strong Bad's Exposition Fairy after getting stuck in the interface.
    Homestar: Yay! You got the sword! Now you can slay the dragon!
    Strong Bad: More importantly, I'll be able to keep you from popping up and interrupting all my future scheduled make-out sessions!
    Homestar: Uh... I've got access to your online calendar in here and I don't see any scheduled make-out sessions... just pedicures and bubble baths.
    Strong Bad: Yaaahhhh... that's code for "make-out session"! Just get outta here! And quit touching my stuff!
  • When Strong Bad finds out he needs to look up an answer to the Copy Protection in the manual to get into Peasant's Quest.
    Strong Bad: Manual? This game is like a billion years old, I don't have the manual!
    Copy Protector: Then thou art screwed.
  • Marzipan's freakishly large teeth after being turned into Lady Crate Ape.
  • In the Peasant's Quest world, Strong Bad finds "ye flask". Sure enough, if you try to get Strong Bad to pick it up, he'll complain about not being able to reach it.
  • Strong Sad in the world of Peasant's Quest, dressed as a princess... er, wizard.
    • How do you get past Strong Sad's bottomless supply of repetitive Fetch Quests? Give him a piece of scorpion food, causing him to get attacked by Munchox, AKA the King of Town with a low-res scorpion tail attached.

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