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Funny / Space Ghost Coast to Coast

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Are you getting enough oxygen, citizen? No, I'm too busy laughing to catch my breath.

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  • Space Ghost's entire interview with Kevin Meaney in "Spanish Translation":
    Kevin Meaney: What is wrong with you?
    Zorak: Does my music frighten you?
    Kevin Meaney: Yes!
    • Later in the interview, when Space Ghost asks Kevin what he thinks of his superhero outfit:
    Kevin Meaney: Well let me tell you something, Mr... Tight... Pants-Wearing Space Ghost. I don't like 'em one bit! Walkin' around... the universe with tight pants on, that's not right! You're like a crazy person! What's wrong with you?! What if President Kennedy finds out about this? He'll think the schools have been infiltrated with communist spies, and the monsignor will be blacklisted, and-
    • Seven words: Zorak And Moltar Sing Your Favorite Lullabies.
    Zorak: Twinkle, twinkle, little-
    Moltar: Staaaaar.
    Zorak: We know exactly where you-
    Moltar: Aaaaaare.
    Zorak: You can't run, and you can't-
    Moltar: Hiiiiide!
    Zorak: Because we'll find you, Space Ghost, and the universe will be ours! OURS!!!
  • "Gilligan":
    • Russell Johnson hums most of the Gilligan's Island theme, then ends with: "Here on Gilligan's Isle, hey."
    Space Ghost: All those years, and you forgot the words?!
    Russell: I'm sending it to you... telepathically. Are you getting it, Space Man? Space Master? You getting it?
    Space Ghost: (fed up) I'm getting it...
    • The ending:
    Russell Johnson: I'd like to ask you a question.
    Space Ghost: Go ahead, earth boy.
    Russell Johnson: Are you related to Beavis, or Butt-Head?
    Space Ghost: You can't say "butt" on this program! (blasts him off the monitor)
  • CHiPs: Space Ghost's increasing frustration in saying "Here's Johnny!" because Moltar was too busy watching CHiPs to introduce Johnny Carson.
    • And then when he finally introduces "Johnny Carson", it's a weird insect creature instead.
    Space Ghost: Greetings Johnny! Boy, it's a gr... You have pincers!
    "Johnny Carson": Yes.
    Space Ghost: So, how's Ed and Doc?
    "Johnny Carson": Fine, fine, fine...
    Space Ghost: Noooo kidding... You're not Johnny Carson, are you?
    "Johnny Carson": Yes.
    Space Ghost: Really?
    "Johnny Carson": Uh, no.
    Space Ghost: Okay. (roll credits)
  • From "Bobcat", after Moltar switches feeds, resulting in Space Ghost's monitor displaying an infinite video feedback loop of himself looking into the monitor:
    Space Ghost: Hey! It's me watching me watching me watching me watching me watching me!
    Moltar: Simpleton.
    Moltar: Mmmmm, barbequed shrimp.
  • From "Batmantis":
    Zorak: Holy stolen lava, Space Ghost! Moltar's been kidnapped!
    Space Ghost: Right you are, my little green friend. An evil ploy by Your Mother!
    Zorak: Your mother...
    Space Ghost: No, not my mom, someone else's mom. Someone's sick and deranged mom!
    Zorak: (beat) Oh.
  • The Christmas episode. Especially the 12 Days of Christmas.
    Space Ghost: That was pitiful!

  • In "President's Day Nightmare" (the World Premiere Tune-In special), Craig McCracken, who was there to promote the pilot episode of The Powerpuff Girls, spends his entire interview mocking Space Ghost. The Council of Doom, who are acting as judges, give him a perfect 10 in every category as a result.
    • Space Ghost blew up Dian Parkinson before she even got to talk about her show.
    • "Blood is funny! Van is the winner!"
    • "Hello, My Name is Brak!"
  • "Girlie Show": "Let the Klugman revolution begin! Mwahahahaha! And now, Klugman! Klugman! Klugman! Klugman!"
  • In "Hungry", Zorak brings his nephew to work. And then eats him.
    • This beautiful exchange:
    Space Ghost: Zorak, where's your nephew?
    Zorak: Who? Oh, um, I devoured him.
    Space Ghost: That's barbaric! (Beat) Is there any left?
    Zorak: Lemme check. (looks off to the side) Nope.
    Space Ghost: I'm gonna miss that little guy.
    • Space Ghost making fun of how into Zorak keeps switching between calling himself a mantis & a locust.
    Zorak: "I am the Lone Locust of the Apocalypse! Think of me when you look-"
    Space Ghost: "Oh, now you're a locust again! Well silly me, I thought you were a mantis!"
    Zorak: "Uh, I am!"
    Space Ghost: "'I am the Lone Mantis of the Apocalypse!' Wait, better yet: "I am the Lone Fill-in-the-blank of the Apocalypse." How's about that, Zorak, leave enough room for you there, hmm?"
  • "Jerk" where Space Ghost wants to do an 'Emmy-worthy' award show... and "Ten seconds and it's already in the toilet" and it gets worse from there somehow.
    • After trying to start the live broadcast over in an attempt to salvage it, Space Ghost attempts to work around that by asking everyone to close their eyes. And yes, this includes the people watching.
  • "Fire Drill" has Space Ghost even more like a Cloudcuckoolander than usual, as well as moments like Donny Osmond calling out Space Ghost for mocking guests whenever they try to get their plug out of the way, which is why he's not going to tell him about his plug in such as way as to talk all about his plug. The show goes along with it by suddenly cutting him off mid-sentence in favor of some non-sequitur Stock Footage of a panda.
    • The random uncomfortable zoom-ins on Space Ghost during his interview with David Byrne. Accompanied by a Heartbeat Soundtrack.
    Space Ghost: Before we go, is there... anything you'd like to know about me? (zooms in) Anything at all? (extremely close) About me?
    • Donny Osmond's insistence that he won a fight against Danny Bonaduce.

  • "$20.01": Right off the bat, Zorak driving Space Ghost nuts by repeating everything he says, only a couple words behind him.
    • After coming back from commercial:
    Space Ghost: (bitterly) I say it was a set-up. I bet you're ALL in on it.
    Moe 2000: We're back, Tad.
    • Zorak and Moltar doing the "toy boat" tongue twister challenge, eventually devolving into barking at each other.
    • Joel Hodgson being confused that Space Ghost has a "spank ray".
    • Space Ghost and Joel Hodgson trading barbs.
    Joel Hodgson: (...) I just might, um, you know, take your butt and wrap it around your neck and give you another pair of shoulders, that's what I'd do.
    • Near the end of the episode, MOE 2000 cuts off oxygen to everyone. Although Space Ghost is impervious to it, he notices Zorak choking and shoots a ray with his power bands, leading to:
    Zorak: (back to normal) P.U.! Who cut the cheese?
    Space Ghost: Sorry, that was my "smell ray".
  • "Lovesick": The Cold Open with Space Ghost (who recently broke up with his girlfriend), Zorak, and Moltar in the cafeteria, especially this exchange:
    Zorak: Oh, Space Ghost, I forgot to tell you something.
    Space Ghost: You did? What?
    Zorak: Ms. Nesbitt called.
    Space Ghost: Ms. Nesbitt called?! When? Why didn't you tell me?
    Zorak: You were in the bathroom.
    Space Ghost: Ah, my beautiful Ms. Nesbitt called. For me.
    Zorak: Yeah... to say you're still broken up.
    (Zorak and Moltar giggle)
    Space Ghost: Like you guys are such prizes?!
    Moltar: Well, I am fairly evil, but I've been happily married to my lovely wife Linda for over six years now. (Space Ghost gets ready to blast him) What'd I say?! (is blasted)
    • Every scene of Space Ghost interviewing Carrot Top, but especially these two moments:
    Carrot Top: (pulling his hair) RRRRGGGH!!! I'm having too much fun, Space Ghost!
    Space Ghost: PLEASE stop yelling.
    (Carrot Top pulls his hair and screams silently)
    • And:
    Carrot Top: Why do they call me Carrot Top?
    Space Ghost: Yeah.
    Carrot Top: 'Cause all the good ones were taken.
    Space Ghost: Like "loser".
    • The weird dry heaving noise that Carrot Top ends the interview with.
    • Later, Carrot Top interrupts Moltar's feed of CHiPs:
    Moltar: Hey, what gives? I'm tryin' to watch CHiPs! Get outta here, you freak!
    • One of Space Ghost's laments about Ms. Nesbit:
    Space Ghost: She said she wants more space. I said, "That's me! I'm space. Space Ghost!
    • After staying silent for the entire interview, the cow suddenly unleashes on Zorak and Space Ghost at the very end.
    Cow: Hey, listen, buster! I've just about had all I can take of you! I don't need this, I'm a cow! I got things to do! Hey, can't you hear me through that hood? I guess not, since there's no earholes! Who ever heard of a fifteen minute talk show anyway? Come on, man! You lost the teens, those were the whole appeal of the show! Jan and Jace, they were it! The monkey, he was it! You? Nothin'! You bring in this bug, and this beekeeper! A beekeeper! And those crappy guests! Come on! Get some real celebrities! Burt Reynolds! Other super-heroes have secret identities! Not you! We know your name's Tad, nobody knows what your face looks like! Batman, Bruce Wayne! Superman, Clark Kent! Aquaman? Well, who gives a crap, anyway? Really! And this set! The planet's turning, it ain't turning. And what's with the cape? I mean, it serves no purpose! What, a cape's gonna look good in space? A cape's gonna look... like crap in space! There, okay? I said it! What, do you need a cape to host a talk show? I mean, really! And the bug! I mean, what's with the vest? It's red, it's blue, it's orange! Who can tell? Who cares? Nobody cares! I mean, give us all a break! You think it's cool to have no pupils just so you can look like Batman or something! No wonder Miss Nesbitt left you!
  • "Freak Show": Bill Manspeaker's brief interview, which is one of the strangest moments in the series:
    Bill: I'm 100% stupid! [...] Are you like Jeannie or Bewitched? First we start it off with a little guitar: "Whoooo!" And then I go, "Yeaaaaaah!" And then the girls go, "Woooooo!" And then I go, "Hot mamas!" And then they go, "And here's a whole bunch o' money!" And then I take all the money and then I go out and I try to buy Apple Jacks, but do you know what, the secret service is coming, and they start hittin' me, and they're hittin', stop hittin' me, who's talkin' to me, stop it!... (to Space Ghost) You look like a woman on TV.
    • Commander Andy hijacks the show for the umpteenth time, and Space Ghost agrees to another of his demands. Commander Andy corrects him: "Actually, it's two more demands." Which ends up being four more demands, five if you count Andy asking for a little brother.
  • "Switcheroo": Susan Olsen doing her "Cindy Brady" lisp, and Zorak and Moltar's reaction:
    Susan Olsen: Theven thilver thwanth thwam thilently theaward.
    Zorak: Thacre bleu! I'm gonna be thick.
    Moltar: Theriouthly!
    • Every time the usual "blast off" sound effect is substituted with "Woosh!"
    • The ending, where Lokar dresses as Space Ghost and is instantly outed.
    Lokar: You found me out! You big lumpy lump! (blasted)f
  • "Surprise":
    • Lokar Comically Missing the Point and taking the "party planning" too seriously. And his plan to humiliate Space Ghost, in a 50s motif? Pigtails and a poodle skirt!
    • Zorak's encounter with Mark McEwen.
    Lokar: Oh, no, don't harm me! I am a tired old set of d-r-rapes.
    Space Ghost: But you don't match my desk. (blasts the "drapes")
    Council of Doom: Argh!
    Brak: My bottom's on fire! (beat) Roll the credits!
  • "Glen Campbell": Matt Groening likes any show that rhymes (Dennis the Menace, Magilla Gorilla, etc.). At one point he name drops a fake show (Tinkle & Dinkle the Ha-Ha Twins), and Space Ghost calls him on it:
    Space Ghost: There's no such show as Tinkle and Dinkle, Matthew!...... Is there?
  • "Jacksonville": Brak (and later, Lokar) telling Space Ghost they're pregnant, followed by a shocked reaction on Space Ghost.
    • Tansut cussing out Space Ghost:
    Tansut: You think you're so hot. I can twist you and punch you and hurt you so badly, I can...
    Space Ghost: (invisos in) I heard that!
    Tansut: I didn't say anything!
    • One of the "acts" is just a black screen for a few seconds.
    • The "results of that trial" parody:
    Narrator: After the Jacksonville incident, Moltar was returned to his post as director of the show, given a spanking, and told never to escape again. Tansit was also swatted lightly across the fanny for his role in the Metallica debacle. Space Ghost resumed his duties as host of the popular animated talk show, and was later to be spotted that very evening with gal pal Tori Spelling. Upon Space Ghost's arrival, Passenger 12 choked on a 'Cracklin Tatah'. Witnesses quoted him as saying, "Man, there's a 'Cracklin Tatah' choked in ma throat." Zorak eventually led Metallica to the outer air lock, where members of the band were heard to say, "Shouldn't we put on a suit or something?" Metallica exploded in deep space. Mwa mwa mwa, mwaaaaa mwaaaa mwaaaaa... The story you have just heard is true. The names have been changed to protect the innocent. Speaking of names, I have a kitty named Fluffy. Sometimes Fluffy scratches the sofa, and I say, "Down, Fluffy, down, or Fluffy get no din-din." Sometimes Fluffy urp in the corner. Fluffy knows better than that. Cats are fun. I like them.
  • "Late Show":
    Space Ghost: For weeks now, my mother has been reporting to us from the desolate surface of the ice planet Zeron. Hi, Mom!
    Mom: Hi, sweetie.
    John Popper: Mom!
    Space Ghost: She's my mom, not yours!
    John Popper: (growls gibberish)
  • "Cookout": SG and the Council of Doom host a cooking competition. Zorak constantly reminds everyone that he wants the bones when hes done, one cook 'relaxes the chicken', another cook is blasted to smithereens because she won't cook for SG.
    • The same episode features a recurring joke of an ongoing argument between Moltar & Zorak:
    Moltar: Beefaroni.
    Zorak: Beefaghetti.
    Moltar: Beefaroni.
    Zorak: Beefaghetti.
    Moltar: BEEFARONI.
    Moltar: BEEFARONI!
    Moltar: BEEFARONI!!!
    Zorak: BEEFAGHETTI!!!
    Space Ghost: Fellas! Fellas! They're both so good!
    Moltar & Zorak: Shut up!
    Beat of awkward silence
    Space Ghost: WELL.
    • This exchange:
    Martin Yan: You know, I would like to put you in an oven, 375 degree, and roast it.
    Space Ghost: Sorry Martin! Yan can't cook Space Ghost! It's rude!
    • Right before Martin Yan prepares his dish:
    Martin Yan: (on Moltar's monitor) Moltar, pay attention. And Zorak, pay- (Moltar switches to CHiPs)
    • This exchange:
    Zorak: So, Yan can cook. And Yan can go insane. Got it. (whistles)
    Space Ghost: Zorak! No insulting the guests!
    Zorak: Oh, but blasting them is peachy?
    Space Ghost: Darn tootin', nephew breath.
    • "You... killed the chicken."
    • At the end of the competition, Space Ghost declares the competition a tie and blasts each member of the Council of Doom. When he gets to the last one, Brak:
    Brak: Wait, wh... I mean, is this gonna hurt?
    Space Ghost: A wee mite.
    Brak: Okay, just don't get me in the face.
    (Space Ghost ignores his plea and blasts Brak in the face)
    Space Ghost: How was that?
    Brak: (whining) That hurt! You're gonna hear from my lawyer!
  • "Woody Allen's Fall Project": The Zorak costume has no way for the mouth to move, so whenever he speaks, he just flops his head up and down. Especially funny is this instance:
    Zorak: C'mon, Stipe, give us a break, buy us some dinner.
    Raymond: I wanna sit down.
    Zorak: Shut up.

  • "Rehearsal": Space Ghost's remote segment, where he's in a giant banana costume on the street.
    Space Ghost: (to random woman passing by) Hey you, come here.
    Woman: Hi.
    Space Ghost: They call me "The Big Banana". Got any questions for me?
    Woman: Uh... where's your face?
    Space Ghost: Where's my face. Er, well, I'm a banana, see? Bananas don't have faces.
    Woman: ...Whatever. (walks away)
  • "Gallagher": Space Ghost asks Bob Odenkirk and David Cross what makes them laugh.
    Bob: Adult people fall down. That make me funny. Laugh. Ha ha.
    • Space Ghost showing off the panda tattoo he got on spring break ("Spring Break!!! Wooo!!!"). Everyone is audibly disgusted.
    Moltar: That's... a hairy panda.
    Bob Odenkirk: Put the suit back on, thank you...
    • This exchange, where Space Ghost plays a trivia game with his guests (with both the losers and the winners getting blasted)
    Space Ghost: Zorak, this question is for you. (Zorak has an Oh, Crap! look on his face) I have a tattoo. Where is it, and what is it of?
    Zorak: Um—
    Space Ghost: WRONG! (blasts Zorak)
    • The ending, with Bob Odenkirk acting like a junkie on withdrawal from being blasted by Space Ghost:
    Bob Odenkirk: Come on, my friend, AAAAHHHH!!! I need it, I need to feel it, AAAAAHHHH! I'm gettin' a jolt, AAAAHHH!!! I love you, man, I'd do anything for you, man.
    David Cross: Moltar, can we... cut? (cue credits)
  • "Edelweiss": After Space Ghost blasts Zorak for every figurine president he destroyed, we get a nice Genius Bonus joke:
    Moltar: Are you done?
    Space Ghost: (catches breath) No. Did I do Chester A. Arthur?
    Moltar: Yes.
    Space Ghost: What about Grover Cleveland?
    Moltar: Twice. Note 
    • After Space Ghost seemingly blasts Zorak to oblivion:
    Moltar: Well, that's just super. Zorak's dead.
    Space Ghost: Really?
    Moltar: (disgusted) Yes, Space Ghost, he is.
    Space Ghost: You say that like it's my fault.
    Moltar: It is your fault! You blasted him too many times!
    Space Ghost: No I didn't.
    Moltar: Yes you did.
    Space Ghost: No I didn't.
    Moltar: YES, you DID.
    Space Ghost: Heaven help me, what have I done?!... (normal) Oh well.
    • Mortar playing Space Ghost to the desk:
    Mortar: (singing flatly) This is the note called middle C, this is how it sounds to me.
    • Beck's hungry:
    Space Ghost: Taco?
    Beck: Oh, if you, if you have one, that would be nice.
    Space Ghost: Moltar, release the taco! (a taco is flung into Beck's hands)
    • Space Ghost points out that Beck still has a tag on his shirt.
    Beck: Thanks for bringing that to my attention there.
    Space Ghost: You must be quite embarrassed.
    Beck: Yeah.
    Space Ghost: 'Cause you know... you had a tag.
    • Early in the episode, Space Ghost seemingly blasts Zorak to the point where he can't regenerate. Zorak does come back, of course, and decides to screw with Space Ghost by posing as a phantom. From there, he messes with the lights, screws with the monitor, and...messes with the lights, because he can't think of a third thing. And then the fuse blows.
  • "Anniversary": Bobcat Goldthwait's "song" about Space Ghost. It's just him rapidly shouting the title of the show over and over.
    • The "tribute" to Space Ghost, which is nothing but a bunch of random clips of Space Ghost getting pummeled and beaten by villains in the old Space Ghost show. Space Ghost retaliates by blowing up France.
  • "Zoltran" where Space Ghost attempts to interview Merril Markoe only to have her rip him a new one on EVERY SINGLE SILLY THING ABOUT THE SHOW!
    Merrill: So where are you?
    SG: I'm right here.
    Zorak: No, stupid, she means 'in space'!
    Merrill: Are like 500 miles away from Jupiter or on the moon or something?
    SG: Oh... I'm over here, Merrill.
    Merrill: You don't know what you're talking about do you? (she says that numerous times)
    Zorak: * bursts into laughter*
    Moltar: What is this garbage? And why am I not in it?
    • Space Ghost's insistence that he's only thirty years old, despite being on TV in the sixties.
    Space Ghost: I am thirty years old.
    Merrill: You're not thirty.
    Space Ghost: I am thirty years old.
    Merrill: You're closer to fifty, aren't you, Space Ghost? You're not thirty.
    Puff: Whoa, you're fifty?
    Zorak: What, me?
    Space Ghost: Magic dragon, I'm gonna come over there and nail your magic feet to the floor!
  • "Speck":
    Space Ghost: Hey Zorak, guess what? I'm irie!
    Zorak: Guess what? You're an idiot.
  • "Zorak" pokes fun at Zorak's ever-changing vest color.
    Maxcy Nolan: Is it possible that underneath that red vest...
    (cut to Zorak wearing a blue vest)
    Maxcy Nolan: vest...
    (cut back to Zorak, who's now suddenly wearing a red vest)
  • "Switcheroo" (1997 episode): Space Ghost introducing Mark Hamill:
    Space Ghost: Wow! Look who's here, young people! It's none other than Duke Fartknocker.
    Moltar: Luke Skywalker.
    Space Ghost: Luke Skytopper of the popular Space Wars science fiction mega-empire franchise.
  • "Boo Boo Kitty": Tansut is fired over the opening sequence:
    Tansut: Hello everybody! La-di-dah! This is Tansut, tonight-
    Space Ghost: Tansut. You're fired.
    Tansut: Oh, really?
    Space Ghost: Have your locker cleaned out by five.
    Tansut: I won't cry. If you're wanting to see me cry, you can save your breath, because I'm not going to cry. (starts crying) Oh, what will become of me?!
    • "Overruled! I am the undisputed breakfast master!"
    • "Living with you is like living in a living nightmare!"
    • Space Ghost calling Zorak "Banjo Brown".
    • Space Ghost's conversation about beef logs (and beef log babies) with David Lander.
    • Space Ghost's Big "NO!" at the end.
    • Space Ghost's new pet: A dolphin that he rides. Doubly funny in that he and the dolphin are depicted in popsicle form while Space Ghost says "Merry Christmas, everyone!"
  • "Needledrop":
    • Zorak, using his hypno-eyes on Ice-T: "You will hook up Zorak with some fly-honeys."
    • Space Ghost adding "Hey! Ho!" lyrics to the dance music during the closing credits. Eventually he gets tired of doing it and half-asses the last few verses.
    • The Stinger:
    Moltar: The only thing that scares me more than ghost is coming to terms with my grief.
    Tansit: Aw, suck it up, fatty!
  • "Sphinx": "You see, dames are like mustard. They taste great on a sandwich. But when you're not eating a sandwich, they just sit there in the refrigerator... on a shelf... in a jar... labeled... mustard."
    • Mike Judge blasting Zorak, over & over.
    • Speaking of Mike Judge, being harassed to do repeated Beavis and Butt-Head phone messages for Zorak and Moltar in the cold open.
    Mike: (as Beavis) Moltar isn't home right now, fire fire, leave a message.
    • This bit.
    Mike: [In Hank Hills voice] That Space Ghost has a cute little patootie, I tell you what.
    • The post-credits stinger:
    Mike: Here's Mr. Anderson: "Boy I tell you h'what!" Here's Hank Hill: "Boy I tell you h'what!" ... it's a big difference.
  • "Pavement":
    Space Ghost: Guess who write tonight's show?
    Beat of silence
    Space Ghost: Come on! Guess!
    Zorak: (Exasperated sigh) Who write it?
    Space Ghost: (Cutting off Zorak) ME! I write it!
    Moltar: Here's your chocolate ice cream, my lord.
    Space Ghost: Thank you, stupid idiot!
    Moltar: Gaaaahhh!!... You're welcome.
    • The scene where Space Ghost pretends to call a boy named Timmy, and puts his hand over his mouth and does a falsetto voice every time "Timmy" is talking. Even funnier when he keeps interrupting "Timmy".
    • Pavement plays a loud number... and Space Ghost tries to interview Goldie Hawn during the song.
    (Goldie says something, but is barely audible)
    Space Ghost: WHAT?!... WHAT?!
  • "Untitled": Right at the start of the show, Space Ghost can't even get his introduction fully said before Moltar barks at him, "GO TO THE DESK!" Then he puts Erik Estrada on the monitor, wanting his interview right away. Space Ghost blasts him off the monitor and says George Clinton ("That music guy") is first, prompting a battle between the two.
    Space Ghost: (blasting) Music guy!
    Moltar: (pulling lever) Eric!
    Space Ghost: (blasting) Music guy music guy music guy! Hey! MY show! MY show!
    • Space Ghost's odd dialogue with George Clinton:
    George Clinton: You wear a 'hood? I, I live in a 'hood. You have a 'hood, yeah, but how would I wear a 'hood?
    Space Ghost: It's not hard. I take an entire neighborhood, put it on my head and dance around where the neighborhood used to be. The people who live in the neighborhood are terrified by my hopping, and some of them fall off my head and are trampled. It is then that the dance becomes a dance of sadness.
    George Clinton: Why are you tellin' me this?
    Space Ghost: Because I care about the innocent victims of my ill-advised dance of joy.
    George Clinton: Oh...
    Space Ghost: Fries don't come with that deadly shake.
    • Zorak wearing a toupee.
    Zorak: What toupee? This is my natural hair.
    • When Moltar is talking with Erik Estrada during the interview, Zorak chimes in:
    Zorak: (demonic voice) Shuuuuuuut uuuuuuup!
    Moltar: You and me, Zorak, after the show!
    Zorak: You name the time, scamp.
    Moltar: I thought I just did.
    Zorak: (regular voice) Oh, right. After the show.
  • From "Piledriver", we are introduced to Space Ghost's grandfather, Leonard Ghostal (voiced by special guest "Macho Man" Randy Savage):
    Zorak: Sounds like Randy Savage.
    Space Ghost: Well, it's not, Zorak, it's my granddad, okay? So you can just shut up about that, Zorak!
    • "Meanwhile, on the Planet of the Tiny Hut People..."
    Saucer Crab: Gozar of the Tiny Hut People! Now is the time of your weekly beating!
    Gozar: Is that you, Saucer Crab? (gets blasted by death rays)
    Saucer Crab: Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha! See you next Thursday!"
    • This bit:
    Grandpa Ghostal: (shouting) Did you know that you're on the TV?
    Raven Symone: Yes! Just like you.
    Grandpa Ghostal: (shouting) Have you met any famous people on the TV?
    Zorak: Stop yelling, she can hear you.
    • Zorak hitting Leonard with a chair, complete with over-the-top wrestling commentary from Moltar and a cheering crowd.
    Moltar: I wanna take this time to apologize to the television audience for what they're about to see. (after Zorak whacks Grandpa with the chair) Ohhhh! Let's not forget that Leonard Ghostal is retired. And that act of violence was very extreme!
    • Saucer Crab showing up at the end of the episode to beat up Space Ghost, and Leonard Ghostal picking a fight with him. Then it turns out to have been an excuse to get away from Space Ghost's show, and the two fly off to go beat the crap out of Mary Hart: "There's gonna be some Entertainment Tonight!".
  • "Suckup" dealt with Space Ghost trying to butter up as many big shot hosts as possible. It goes well with one, former host of Talk Soup Jon Henson, but he had a skunk spot and they try complimenting him on that.
    Zorak: It looks like a third eye!
    Space Ghost: ZORAK!
    Moltar: Hey, hey! Ix-nay on the third eyece.
    Zorak: I mean, I like's neat.
    Space Ghost: That's the nicest third eye I've ever seen!
    Henson: You like that, huh? Big with the chicks.
    • Even worse SG was doing well...until he asked if his tongue ever got sore. It just fell apart right there faster than a stack of cards in a hurricane.
  • "Dam" has some of the greatest timing in the show's run and is filled with many moments that are hard to put into words. Simpler moments to describe include the ending where Space Ghost is convinced by the voice on his self-help tape to blow up the Hoover Dam and his subsequent off-camera arrest.
    • Also, every scene of Moltar and Zorak "coppin' an attitude", especially their silent treatment towards Space Ghost.
  • "Boatshow":
    • Space Ghost's intro to Steve Allen:
    Space Ghost: Ladies and gentlemen, you've seen him, you know him, you love him, you go through a period where you don't love him so much, yet you don't want to hurt him, so you don't dare tell him of your feelings, so you marry him, you bear his children, and you live out the rest of your days suffering from his cold and silent indifference, say hello to Steve Allen!
    • Moltar's contribution to "I Got a Lot of Snacking to Do" is promptly shut down:
    Moltar: (singing) There are fires, just ripe for some settin' / And I aim to set a few fires / When those fires get set, they'll be burning-
    Space Ghost: Shut up, Moltar!
    Zorak: We hate you!
    (music stops as Moltar stammers)
    • "Wait a minute... Steve Allen? Andy Dick? They both have first names for last names! It's a theme show!"
    • "Down in the holler, amongst the filth and squalor, looks like a feud there's gonna be-" "THAT NUMBER'S BEEN CUT!"
    • After the final musical number, Space Ghost orders Andy Dick to dance.
    Andy Dick: ...A five, six, seven, eight. (tap dances) How much you want? I can go on all day.
    Space Ghost: Do it all day.
    Andy Dick: Yeah, I can do anything, I can shuffle off to Buffalo...
    Zorak: Why don't you shuffle off to Mars?
    Andy Dick: I can't, I can't shuffle off too far, though.
    Zorak: Wuss.
  • In the episode "Telethon", Space Ghost broadcasts a telethon with uninteresting special guests (And the Council of Doom operating the phone lines) to try to raise money to fund the production of the show. After a long period of broadcasting with no significant funds raised, Space Ghost decides to take matters into his own hands:
    Space Ghost: Council of Doom?
    (The Council of Doom looks over at Space Ghost; Space Ghost points his power bands at the Council of Doom threateningly)
    Space Ghost: GIVE ME YOUR MONEY.
    Lokar: No, I shan't give you a shekel.
    Black Widow: OH NOOOOO!
    Brak: Okay, here's my allowance!
    • Some of the phone number messages get more and more desperate as the episode goes on. It eventually gets to the point of "Do We Have to Threaten You?"
    • Space Ghost getting freaked out by Bob Abdou's ventriloquist dummy.
    • Pete Michael's Kramer impression.
    • Space Ghost decides to cut to commercials.
    Zorak: Telethon don't have commercials!
    Space Ghost: And bugs don't talk, Zorak! (in Zorak's voice) So welcome to the asylum!
    (Zorak is visibly taken aback)
    • Someone prank calls the studio:
    Brak: Space Ghost! Somebody just called, and they wanna donate a billion dollars!
    Space Ghost: What's their name?!
    Brak: Seymour Hiney.
    Space Ghost: Thank you so much, Seymour! Well, I guess we can wrap things up here.
    Zorak: You idiot!
    Moltar: It was a prank call!
    Space Ghost: Uh... Oh. I am now rescinding my thank you. Council, accept no more calls from the Hiney family.
    • This bit:
    Space Ghost: Argh! That's it! I've had it with you people! I do this Hindenburg of a talk show each week, and where does it get me? Humiliation City, population one. Listen up, TV land: if you don't give me all your money, I'm.. gonna... uh, shoot Brak!
    Brak: I didn't do anything bad! (sobs) I don't wanna be shot!
    Space Ghost: What am I doing?! Brak, I-I'm sorry.
    Brak: It's okay, Space Ghost.
    Space Ghost: It is?! Well then... (blasts Brak)
  • "Dimethylpyrimidinol Bisulfite": Zorak constantly trying to sell his product, an ointment, constantly cutting into Space Ghost's interviews.
    SG: Okay Zorak, I'm sick of this, so do your stupid little pitch and get it out of your system!
    Zorak: Oh... um it's good... it's good ointment.
    SG: ...Is that it?
    Zorak: It's good ointment... ah, here put some on your scalp!
    SG: No!
    Zorak: Okay... it's your loss.
    SG: SHUT UP!
    Zorak: ...But see look at my pincer (gets blasted)
    • The interview with Pat Boone gets off to an awkward start:
    Space Ghost: We need to lose the glasses, Pat.
    Pat Boone: (takes sunglasses off) Oh, well, that could be arranged. Did I shake you up a little bit?
    Space Ghost: No.
    (awkward pause...)
    Pat Boone: Listen, I am really delighted-
    Space Ghost: Pat, in 1955, you recorded the monster hit "April Love".
    • Space Ghost's description of Sugarman's Potted Meat:
    Space Ghost: Boy, scolding Zorak sure builds up a man-sized appetite. I could go for a bowl of pulverized organ mash basted in sweet intestinal bile fluids! (inner monologue) Then strap on your bib, Space Ghost, and saddle up to a heapin' helpin' of Sugarman's bovine-flavored potted meat! Have a cow, man! A Sugarman cow!
    • The Rappin' Space Goblin.

  • The episode "Joshua" demonstrates how a typical episode is made. The narrator explains that every joke is tested on a randomly-selected audience.
    Zorak: That's not my hand.... It's my pincer.
    Audience: (silence)
    Narrator: Oops, that line needs a little reworking.
    Zorak: That's not my hand.... It's my butt!
    Audience: (a single man laughs)
    Narrator: Looks like we've got a winner!
    • Space Ghost's interview with Tom Arnold:
    Tom Arnold: Actually, that second show was called "Tom". This show is called "The Tom Show", which is different. And that, because I think it's easier to find in the TV Guide.
    Space Ghost: You should call it "Tommy".
    Tom Arnold: Yeah, I thought of that, my grandma would like that. Um, but, you know, I'm not sure...
    Space Ghost: How about "Tom Tom the Tom"?
    Tom Arnold: What was that again? "Tom Tom the Tom"?
    Space Ghost: No, "Tom Tom the Tom Tom." Tom.
    Tom Arnold: That's, that's, that's good. I mean, that's, that's okay...
    Space Ghost: Hey! Moltar, put your pants on and direct the show!
    Moltar: Get lost, man!
    • Zorak recording lines with Moltar directing:
    Zorak: "That's not my hand; it's your butt."
    Moltar: No no no, my butt.
    Zorak: Well, that's what I'm sayin'. It's your butt.
    Moltar: No, it's not your butt: My butt.
    Zorak: That's what I just said: Your butt.
    Moltar: MY butt!
    Zorak: So... your butt.
    Moltar: Just do the line!
    • Towards the end of the episode, the narrator says Space Ghost is "A SOLUTION WITH REAL VALUE". A few moments later, he says it's "A VALUABLE SOLUTION WITH REAL."
    • Sean Medlock's haiku:
    Sean: I hope I don't win / The rules say to bring a friend / I don't have any.
    Space Ghost: ...You won for that?
    Sean: Mm-hmm, kinda surprising, isn't it?
    Space Ghost: Yep. Good night, everybody! (cue credits)
  • The entire episode "Lawsuit," starting with his old sidekicks Jan & Jace suing him and ending with their attorney dropping the case due to a conflict of interest, because Ted Turner is his father.
  • Many, many moments from "Terminal". The scene in which Space Ghost imagines having a son (or a "Little Space Ghost" named Roy Allen) is one of the funniest and most demented things ever put on television.
  • "Toast": Moltar tells Space Ghost how to woo Merrill Markoe. He tries it out, to disastrous results:
    Space Ghost: Hey woman, my dinner ready yet? No? Well then, go iron my jeans!
    Merrill: I think you're starting to offend me now.
    Space Ghost: This is how we men are, Merrill, so get used to it!
    • The Nested Story Reveal where we find out we were actually watching an episode of Talk Soup, complete with host John Henson.
  • In "Cahill", an upcoming storm's static electricity messes with the opening & in the madness Space Ghost teleports in front of Zorak's pod & yells "BABALOOOOO!" in a high pitched voice.
    • The ending where the storm turns out to be a fair all along, to the delight of the crew.
  • "Warren": Space Ghost treating a visit to Warren like an errand:
    Space Ghost: (to Zorak) We'll go see Warren, then we'll swing by the department store and get you some new slacks.
    • After Warren's monitor takes away Space Ghost's power bands and his fanny pack:
    Space Ghost: My breakfast bars!
    • There's something so bizarrely funny about a potted plant being Space Ghost's mentor. Especially when he tells Space Ghost in the climax, "Don't thank me, just... (shakes) HOLD ME."
  • From "Rio Ghosto": Space Ghost's talking to his communicator, and Kevin Smith appears on the monitor.
    Kevin Smith: Hey, how are you, Ghost.
    Space Ghost: I'm on the phone, that's how!.... Rude. (moments later, when he's put on hold...) Where'd you get that sweater? It looks cheap. I hate it.
    • In the same interview:
    Kevin Smith: Zorak.
    Zorak: Kevin.
    Kevin Smith: (making devil hand gestures) Zoooorak!
    Zorak: Kevin!
    Kevin Smith: ZOOOOOORRRAAAAAK!!!
    Space Ghost: Spaaaaace Ghost!
    (Kevin rolls his eyes)
    • "Meeting."
    • This run between Ben Stiller and Zorak:
    Zorak: You have a kind face.
    Ben Stiller: Thank you.
    Space Ghost: The kind you would like to do what to, Zorak?
    Zorak: The kind I'd like to chew off and spit on and spit up and stomp on...
    Ben Stiller: You know what?
    Zorak: I'm not finished yet. And slap. And push. And kick. And... push. And... kick.
    Ben Stiller: Zorak, I enjoy the, your ribald sense of humor that you bring to the show.
    Zorak: Yeah, I'm ribald.
    Ben Stiller: I think you are a necessary evil...
    Zorak: Yeah, I'm evil.
    Ben Stiller: ... if you will, on this show.
    Zorak: Yeah, I will.
  • "Pal Joey":
    • This line from Space Ghost: "God owns me. He speaks to me through His subsidiary, Time Warner."
    • When Space Ghost calmly walks up to Zorak and punches him in the face. Usually Space Ghost just blasts him, so it's hilarious to see him just sock him. Also, the Limited Animation of Ghost walking up to Zorak is just priceless in how bad it is (they just took a still frame of Space Ghost standing and bobbed it up and down).
    • In the same episode, Space Ghost's weird analogy to guest Michael Moore:
    Space Ghost: It's best not to make nice with Zorak. He'll eat you faster than a Swiss blacksmith at a corkboard convention.
    • Space Ghost blasts Joey in the face for causing technical problems. Moltar says Space Ghost should take him to a doctor; he reluctantly does so. The final line of the episode:
    Space Ghost: (grumbling) This could cost me my career. (to a passed out Joey) Way to go, Joey! (cue credits)
  • "Curses":
    • The Cold Open, using old Space Ghost and Dino Boy footage. Space Ghost and Future Man keep trading taunts, with a dramatic sting playing every time they finish talking. The best part of their exchange:
    Space Ghost: That's a neat trick, Future Fool, but my frequency demodulator re-routed your cave creeps to the Victorian era, where they will be mocked from their ill-manners and crude mode of dress.
    (dramatic stings as the camera pans to Future Man)
    Future Man: That's unlucky. I suspect my future's not so bright after all.
    (dramatic stings as the camera pans to Space Ghost)
    Space Ghost: ...Yup.
    (dramatic stings as the camera pans to Future Man)
    • Space Ghost's "guitar lesson" is him attempting to play the intro of Roundabout by Yes.
    • Emo Phillips:
    Emo: Zorak? Zorak, you're an intelligent being. Do you like riddles?
    Zorak: Stuff you!
    Emo: I-I'd rather do a riddle. What's green, obnoxious, plays the keyboard-
    Zorak: Zorak do.
    Emo: Don't give it away.
    • While going through withdrawal from eating people, Space Ghost anxiously taps his cards on his desk. Eventually he taps them so fast they catch fire.
    • After Space Ghost eats Zorak, he slowly emerges from his pod and says, "Moltar, you're looking rather... (belches) plump today."
    • As Space Ghost eats Moltar off-screen, he notices Shirley Manson on the monitor:
    Space Ghost: You want some?
    Shirley Manson: No, I'm not into that sort of thing.
    Space Ghost: Suit yourself. (goes back to devouring Moltar)
    Kirk the Storyteller: (Completely straight-faced) I just had the most horrible dream! space.
  • "Intense Patriotism": "Open wide, Lady Liberty, because Space Ghost is coming to America! Today! (moments later, after the opening credits have started) "Open wide... that's gonna slide right by the censors."
    • Space Ghost threatening to put Zorak and Moltar in "the box".
    • The moment when the patriotic background demo that Moltar installed comes up for a few seconds, causing Space Ghost to look up at it in shock.
    Moltar: This is just a shareware demo. It'll cost $14 million to actually install.
    Space Ghost: These are the colors of my forefathers, Moltar. The men who laid down their lives so that I can have my outer space talk show. (cuts to still shot of Mt. Rushmore, only with Space Ghost's head replacing Teddy Roosevelt) I think it's worth it.
    Moltar: You got $14 million?
    Space Ghost: I was hoping to sign for it?
    Moltar: Heh, heh, heh. No. (turns off demo)
    • When everyone stands for the Pledge of Allegiance, Moltar removes his helmet. We don't see his face because it's so bright. Eventually...
    Space Ghost: (casually) Helmet on, Moltar.
    • A few times in the episode, Space Ghost is accompanied by patriotic music when saying an Eagleland quote. In one instance, the music starts playing even though he didn't intend for it that time.
    Space Ghost: I'll tell you what's insane. (patriotic music starts) Using laser- (Space Ghost pauses; the music stops) Using laser beams for optometry.
    • Space Ghost struggling to understand Jeff Foxworthy's redneck jokes.
    Space Ghost: Moltar's red, but he doesn't have a neck.
    • Zorak introduces Space Ghost to his "kids" and proceeds to flush them.
    Space Ghost: You're a bad father!(zaps into the control room)

  • "Waiting for Edward":
    Denis Leary: You have Madonna's new album?
    (Zorak hisses at Denis twice)
    Denis Leary: ...Somebody's buyin' it.
    • Brak lists off all the things he wants from Moltar's sale. Moltar interrupts him:
    Moltar: How are ya gonna pay for all this?
    Brak: With rocks.
    Moltar: I hope you die before your wedding!
    Brak: (confused) What? I'm not getting married- (Moltar cuts his monitor feed)

  • "Chambraigne": The Chambraigne ad, and Space Ghost's reaction to it:
    Space Ghost: Finally, a product for me. I believe every word that man just said... because it's exactly what I wanted to hear.
    • Bob Costas narrating Space Ghost blasting Zorak off like a baseball game.
    Space Ghost: I AM THE KING!
    • Space Ghost's final question to Bob Costas:
    Space Ghost: As a carbon-based sex machine...
    Zorak: Smooth-chested, no doubt.
    Space Ghost: I was just gonna say that!... It's amazing. We've been working together so long...
    Zorak: We finish each others' sentences.
    Space Ghost: Well, you know, it's like I always say... when I'm in the shower... (no response from Zorak) (singing) Shower time!!
    • Space Ghost tries to scare a classroom of kids straight:
    Space Ghost: Let's stop right there. If someone approached you about washing your hair, (Space Ghost's left arm falls off) what would you say to them? I'll tell you what you should say. You'd say, "Thanks, but no thanks. I don't need large brains to have a good time." You wanna be groovy, huh? You wanna fit in? Wanna go to the big dance? Wanna be the KING? You'll be the fool! Shampoo will play you for the fool!
    Teacher: Okay, well, thank you for coming-
    Space Ghost: Oh, I'm not done. I'm serious. These brains, they're out there. They're shining. With eyes of hard plastic. And blue hair. BLUE AS THE NIGHT!
    • This right before it.
    Carl: "It doesn't work! It's psychosomatic! It's a placebo!"
    Space Ghost: "Huh, those are big words. Maybe I should wash my hair again."
    Carl: "No! Can you not comprehend that your ignorance will cause me to explode now? ARRGH!"
    (Carl explodes)
    (Space Ghost's arm falls off)
    • This tortured threat from Carl to his son.
    Carl: If you had a neck and I had hands I would strangle it until the brain which is your body burst out the top of your head which does not exist.

  • "Snatch":
    • Space Ghost looking in a magazine:
    Space Ghost: You seen this? (shows Steven Wright the magazine)
    Steven Wright: Wow. Do you like human women?
    Space Ghost: I like these twins.
    • This, after Moltar describes the replicating pods:
    Space Ghost: No one sleeps with my grandmother!.... Right?
    Zorak: Right. (quietly) From now on.
    • Space Ghost, in a rare sane moment, tells Moltar and Zorak that none of them will survive the replicating pods which will kill them in their sleep unless they put aside their differences and band together as friends. They respond by dimming the lights and playing lullaby music.
    Space Ghost: You see, that's exactly what I'm talking about.
    • The scene where Moltar and Zorak egg Space Ghost on to touch the replicating pods. So stupid but so funny.
    Zorak: Hey. Touch it. Go ooonnnn. See what happens.
    Moltar: Touch it, you know you want to.
    Zorak: Come on, man, touch it!
    Moltar: Yes, feel its heat.
    Zorak: Touch it!
    Moltar: Stroke its supple contours.
    Zorak: Nothing'll happen. Touch it. (whispers) That's what ya wanna do.
    Moltar: Touch it!
    Zorak: Touch it!
    Moltar: It's there for you to touch.
    Zorak: (whispers) You know you wanna!
    (dramatic music plays as Space Ghost's finger slowly edges towards the pod. Just as he's about to touch it...)
    Space Ghost: There, I touched it. Now I have to leave.
    Zorak: No you didn't.
    Space Ghost: No, I did. I touched it.
    Moltar: Nobody can hear ya, Space Ghost. We've been off the air for ten days.
    Space Ghost: (invisos into Moltar's control room) Please don't tell me how to do it. It sickens me.

  • Girl Hair: What opens the episode: An Italian-speaking Space Ghost briefly appears before the English-speaking Space Ghost shoos him away. Then it cuts to Zorak, who suddenly has teeth. He asks him through clenched mouth, "Ya like 'em?" Space Ghost: "No, I don't like 'em." and punches his teeth out.
    Space Ghost: I like that. They look better on the floor.
    • Space Ghost blasting Zorak, which was old hat by this point but is made fresh by how ultra fast he does it.
    • Space Ghost's campfire story of "The Oasis of the Headless Mad Comber of Comb Mountain"
    Space Ghost Legend has it you can hear him, every night at about this time. Sharpening his comb. His pink, plastic... comb. Asking his victims, "Part on the right, or the left?" Hooks for feet.
    Hanson: No.
    Space Ghost: HOOKS FOR FEET! Eyes... made of wood. Combing... combing... harder and harder, until you were DEAD!
    Hanson: Eeehhhh...
    Space Ghost: Ones say he just disappeared, others say he's still here... combing. Combing... [pulls out a comb dramatically] COMBING! Oh no, oh no! [whooshes the comb around]
    • Having murdered the Hanson brothers for witnessing his vehicular manslaughter of the Tooth Fairy, Space Ghost has like thirty seconds to fret about it when Santa shows up, thanking him for eliminating the Fairy. But there's a catch...
    Zorak: What if I have a date?

  • Near the end of "Sequel" Space Ghost shows up to take his show back.
    Birdman: But... you're supposed to be in jail!
    Space Ghost: And you're supposed to be dumpster diving for ham scraps, you six-piece Chicken McNobody! Get outta my seat!

  • Curling Flower Space: The Running Gag of Space Ghost threatening to spin somebody's head so fast, it'll travel back in time. On one instance, guest Jerry Springer rolled his eyes when Space Ghost started to say it, so Space Ghost switched it up:
    Space Ghost: Moltar, I will spin your head so fast, it will... collect its own atmosphere. With gravity.
    Moltar: What?
    Space Ghost: And you'll be dead!
    Moltar: Why?
    Space Ghost: ...Because you weren't alive back then.
    • Zorak interrupting Space Ghost's flashback about facing off against a ceiling tile.
    Space Ghost: I was pinned. To the Earth.
    Zorak: Pfft. By a freakin' ceiling tile.
    Space Ghost: DON'T! (slams fist on desk to the time of his words) DON'T, DON'T, DON'T!
    • Speaking of which, the fight is pretty...interesting, to say the least. The ceiling tile-or rather, C. Ling Tile, bombards Space Ghost with his sprinkler, cool air, and abestos powder (with Space Ghost bemoaning the use of tap water and and the temperature lowering in his body). Until Space Ghost gets a Heroic Second Wind and incinerates C. Ling with the "Five Magics".
    • (to Sarah Jessica Parker) "Now, don't we have some sex to take care of?" (everyone laughs)
    • When Space Ghost brags that he had sex with Sarah Jessica Parker:
    Moltar: You're insane! You never even took your clothes off!
    Space Ghost: Of course I didn't. It was sex!
    Moltar: That's some kind of sex...
    • The ending:
    Space Ghost: What I'm saying is... saying things are not relative.
    Jerry Springer: This can't be during your sweeps.
    Space Ghost: And that, my friends, is the only truth.
    Jerry Springer: Is there an end to any of this??
    Space Ghost: The other truth... is that I totally did sex with that girl.
    Jerry Springer: Okay.
    Space Ghost: Because I did!
    Jerry Springer: Good!
    Space Ghost: I complete doodily did.
    Jerry Springer: Yes!
    Space Ghost: Yes, I think you can say, the two of us did, that activity. There was a performance at the theater, if you catch my drift, and we worked it from the balcony to below.

  • Table Read: This line:
    George Lowe: (in character as Space Ghost) Well, Jerry, the jig is up! 'Cause you're going down, all the way down! Not up, where the jig is, where I said before. Where's the damn camera?!
    • The cutaway that never made it into the final episode sounds hilarious, with Space Ghost putting an electric razor into an aquarium:
    Space Ghost: Dr. Fishopolis, you need a shave! (buzz) Agh! A shave! (buzz) Agh! A shave!
    • This random line:
    George Lowe: I dreamt I had a beard made of hamburger, shaved it off, and ate it.

  • Fire Ant: Space Ghost does his damnedest to try to show Conan O'Brian that he's a doesn't work.
    • This leads to a rant about a show he once tried to pitch to the WB, which makes his hand burst into flames, which he ignores. The flames spread across his body over the course of several minutes, and when his head bursts into flames, Zorak bursts out laughing.
    • The episode opens with nearly a minute of awkward staring between Zorak and Conan while an orchestral fanfare plays before Space Ghost (who, let's remember, is able to fly), is lowered into his desk from the ceiling in a harness. After a failed attempt at demonstrating his thought-amplifying speaker, Space Ghost needs to leave to deal with a galactic emergency, and does so by...having Moltar slowly winch him up with the harness (again, despite Space Ghost being able to fly), only for one of the straps to break, leaving Space Ghost dangling helplessly as Zorak and Moltar beat him with sticks until he falls down.
    • The flashback to an old Space Ghost episode, which is just Space Ghost chanting "Hoona igna chowa neha!" over and over in a beach setting.
    • This entry would be incomplete without mentioning the ant "chase" sequence in the full, uncut version of the episode. Space Ghost is bitten by an ant, then follows the ant out of the studio and across Ghost Planet. This sequence, when aired in full, takes ten minutes before it reaches its climax (and the end of the episode). There are no commercial breaks and the sequence is made up of Space Ghost following the ant while muttering to himself. The absurdity of the segment is enough to earn it placement here.
    Space Ghost: (almost under his breath) This time tomorrow, you'll be dead. You down with that? 'Cause it's gonna happen.
    • And when he finally gets to the ant's home and the father answers the door:
    Space Ghost: Hey, your son just bit me here! I wanna know what you're gonna do about it!
    (Beat; ant father roars)
    (Space Ghost is seen running away from the pursuing father ant)
    Space Ghost: Your son is a moron!
  • King Dead, this Running Gag:
    Brak: Someone say "beans"? (ducks into Zorak's music pod and emerges with a really tall fruit hat) Who likes beans!

  • From "Kentucky Nightmare":
    Space Ghost: Now, please welcome Corey Feldman!
    Willie Nelson: Hi.
    Space Ghost: Or, Willie Nelson. It really doesn't matter.
    • Willie, to the bear:
    Willie Nelson: Hey, how ya doin', Tex?
    Zorak: Eh, that bear's a Yankee.
    Willie Nelson: Well, (bleep) him.
    • And from the same episode, Space Ghost's Version of "Space Cowboy"
    Space Ghost: Dumb people haul trash around
    • This exchange, after SG acquires a party sub from the "doomed" sandwich shop
    Zorak: (standing outside the studio, yelling through glass) Gimme that sandwich!
    Space Ghost: (talking with his mouth full of party sub) Zorak, get back in here! I didn't give you permission to go outside!
    Zorak: Moltar's out here smoking!
    Moltar; (running by and trailing smoke) No, I'm not!
    • The bear appears and repeatedly threatens Space Ghost. Eventually, it just charges and runs off with him, much to the amusement of Zorak, Moltar, and Willie.
      • also Space Ghost telling the bear to shut up.
    • The Running Gag of Zorak emitting a yellow cloud.
    Space Ghost: Zorak, you must be secreting something that's attracting this bear!
    Zorak: I haven't done anything!... Well, except for this. (emits cloud) MERRY CHRISTMAS!
    Space Ghost: Zorak, take your glands outside!
    • Later, after another emission:
    Zorak: That's gonna carry all the way to the village.
    Space Ghost: And sometimes they explode just to attract swarms of giant killer bees.
    • Space Ghost visiting Dr. Worm, especially the second visit:
    Dr. Worm: I'm so drunk I'm liable to do anything to you, boy!
    Space Ghost: Well-
    Dr. Worm: Now get outta here, before I put you in the worst headlock of your life!
  • Space Ghost being given the cold shoulder by the crew and guest Dave Thomas in "The Justice Hole" leads him to make a futile attempt at bonding with a group of monsters who live in a hole outside the Hall of Justice.
    Space Ghost: (in his own hole) It's a free country!
    Snakefish: Then feel free to bite my ass!
  • In "Knifin' Around", Space Ghost talking about his Zorak and Moltar to his "wife":
    Space Ghost: Are they gone?
    Björk: Yeah. Do you get along with them?
    Space Ghost: What, are you kidding? They're my best friends! That's why I married you: so I wouldn't have them anymore!
    • The episode making Björk look completely insane is funny in general, as are Space Ghost's excuses to try and get out of conversations with her.
    Moltar: Your wife's on the phone again.
    Space Ghost: Tell her I exploded and uh, tell her it was very sad and that the last thing I said was "Make sure my wife moves out of my condo."
    • Moltar's brief stint in hosting the show, where he acts surprisingly chipper until he suddenly declares that he's going to knife fight Thom Yorke to the death.
    • Thom Yorke asking if Space Ghost takes "intelligence drugs."
    Space Ghost: I don't need intelligence drugs, Thom. Because I don't know what they are. Okay, Thom? But I will put anything into my mouth that is given to me, whether it supposed to go there or not, because...I'm different.
  • One word. Flipmode. The entire episode, really.
    Space Ghost: Who killed Walt Disney?! (beat) With a wrench?
    • This:
      Space Ghost: Now, woodpile, did you or did you not masquerade as eels and socked Zorak with that wrench? Answer me! Now, what about these beans?
      Moltar: Those must've fallen out of my hair.
      Moltar: Well, you're just making all this BLEEP up!
      Moltar: ...Oh, what? You're the only one that gets to make BLEEP up?
      Moltar: *Sigh* ...Those are part of the dinner.
      Space Ghost: No they're not. They're part of the plot.
      Moltar: They were on the menu.
      Space Ghost: Murder is on the menu!
    • Which is then followed by... one of the more interesting reveals of the episode:
      Space Ghost: Look... bean prints on the wrench. But, what is the wrench for?
      Moltar: That's where you were trying to fix the, uh, gas leak? And you made it leak?
    • Space Ghost upon seeing that they have a large supply of wood:
      Space Ghost: Hey, wood! We should build something!
      (after seven hours, the resulting two planks of wood leaning up against each other, with an electrical cord duct-taped onto one of the planks)
      Moltar: Wow. (beat) What's it do?
      Space Ghost: It's symbolic, Moltar. Things don't always have to do things! Now... help me plug it into the wall.
    • The whole supermarket scene:
      Space Ghost: You can pick anything. Pick anything you like.
      (Zorak and Moltar are lying on the floor, badly burned from Space Ghost crashing the Phantom Cruiser a scene earlier)
      Zorak: I need toilet paper.
      Moltar: And flavor ice.
      Zorak: And pudding.
      Space Ghost: Did you just see the lights flicker?
      Moltar: No?
      Space Ghost: Look at it, but don't blink.
      Moltar: What are we doing?
      Space Ghost: Wait, did it just do it again? It did it AGAIN.
      Zorak: I'm gonna go. Don't follow me.
      Moltar: (bouncing across the floor) Hang on, I'm goin' with ya.
      Space Ghost: Not so fast: Roll call! Moltar!
      Moltar: Dead.
      Space Ghost: Zorak!
      Zorak: Eat me.
      Space Ghost: Busta!... Where's Busta?
      (they left Busta back at the dance club)
      Space Ghost: This seems like as good a time as any to welcome our first new sponsor...
      (a second Space Ghost appears)
      Space Ghost 2: Natural gas.
      (a third Space Ghost giggles while hiding in the melons)
      Space Ghost 4: It gives you some ideas. (laughs)
    • The ending, when Space Ghost gets stuck in a vent while trying to pull Zorak out. We see Moltar and Space Ghost watching the show later, their backs to the audience.
      Moltar: This goes on for a while. Like, an hour.
      Space Ghost: But I got out, right?
      Moltar: Yeah, but then you got back in.
      Space Ghost: Did you get the part where I was "Space Ghost: A Tribute to Freedom"?
      Moltar: Nah, we recorded over that.
      Space Ghost: WHAT.
      Moltar: Ahem. I mean, I couldn't find it.
      (cuts to a frontal shot of Space Ghost)
      Space Ghost: Then what was the point of sanding my face off?
  • Sweet for Brak
    • Tenacious D's performance of "Fuck Her Gently" gets censored at the last moment with a TERRIBLE acoustic cover of "Good King Wenceslas" by writer/producer Dave Willis.
    • Near the end of the episode, Space Ghost finally gets a chance to go on a sitcom. The sitcom he gets chosen for? Zorak's show, Blood Dumpster.
      Space Ghost: (in a tunnel) Wait, what's my motivation?
      Zorak: (jumps out of a dumpster in a wheelchair, holding a scythe and has spinning blades attached to several parts of his body) Gaba-gaba-GO NEIGHBOR!
      Space Ghost: (runs away) OH NO!
      • How he manages to get on the sitcom in the first place is even more hilarious. Space Ghost manages to make a Deal with the Devil (with the devil being Yogi Bear wearing what appears to be a crown made out of bones and has a deep, growling voice). Doubles as a Brick Joke, considering the satanic references at the beginning.
    • Moltar's odd metaphors at the beginning about the giant goat head:
      Moltar: And he's got these big... like... oven mitts, or somethin', man.
      Jack Black: That's not evil.
      Moltar: Yeah it is! 'Cause he's bakin' in, in the kitchen of darkness. A pie of, of lost souls, until it's, it's golden brown.
      Zorak: Pfft. Golden brown?
      Moltar: Yeah. But, but, but you can't eat it, even though you want to, you gotta let it cool off on the window. (nobody's impressed) The, the windowsill to... TO HELL!

    2003- 2004 
  • Whipping Post, where Space Ghost spends the entire episode in an irrationally bad mood.
    • The very first line uttered:
    Space Ghost: Let's get one thing straight: I'm angry!
    • When Space Ghost and Dennis Miller talk about their sons:
    Space Ghost: Yeah, I have two sons: Fifi and Pierre. I shave their butts out of anger, (laugh) and they hate me for it. (puts hand over his face and makes a buzzing noise) That's the shaving noise. Wanna give a shout-out to your two sons?
    Dennis Miller: Marlon, Holdon! Ghost!
    Space Ghost: Fifi, Pierre! Get off the couch!
    (Dennis quizzically stares at Space Ghost)
    Space Ghost: ...It is clear they're poodles, right?
    • This line:
      Space Ghost: SPAAAAAAAACE *bleep* Fu-*bleep* Catch-*bleep* Gonzales!
      (cuts to Zorak making a shocked look)
    • "Hitchcock's the worst director ever! Did you see "Rear Window"? It's all black and white and there are no adult situations. You know it was just made to sell toys, which you can't find anywhere!"
    • "The race war had begun. Machines were building robot babies to replace other babies. Everyone knows what happened next. The End."
  • In Memory of Elizabeth Reed
    William Shatner: (Keeping his mouth closed) Do you hear me? Can you hear me? Do you dig me? Can you get my message? You hear what I'm saying? (Exhales)
    Space Ghost: William Shatner!
    William Shatner: That's incorrect.
    Space Ghost: Bill Shatman!
    William Shatner: No. (Beat) I'm the space guy. I'm Captain Kirk!
    Space Ghost: Outer space shows are for children and stupid people.
    • Similarly:
    William Shatner: Zorak, didn't you and I fight to the death?
    Zorak: That sounds pretty dumb, man.
    • The final line:
    Space Ghost: (to William Shatner) I'd like to name my own price for your big, sweet ass! (laughs)
  • Idlewild South, Space Ghost gets drunk. Nuff' said.
    • Some of his antics include him riding the guest monitor as if he was a cowboy, jumping on his desk and acting like it's a surfboard, and firing a gun at the ceiling when he hears growling coming from above. It gets to the point where Zorak and Moltar (who both gave him beer to begin with) suggests he should lay off it. Space Ghost's response?
    Space Ghost: You drink some water with YOUR ASS!
    • Not to mention this line.
    Space Ghost: Ah, you have a drinking problem, don't I?
    • The scene where Space Ghost crashes the Phantom Cruiser, just for how abrupt it is.
    Space Ghost: (slurring words) Whoo, that was some party. (CRASH)
  • Dreams
    • "I too, banged a dog up the ass."
    Moltar: You're really digging yourself a deep hole.
    Space Ghost: A hole that I will bang my way out of!
    • From the same episode, Space Ghost's foundation to cure "Retardos."
    Space Ghost: We...moisten your dreams with man urine? (Beat)
    Triumph: Whatever you say with your outer space jar-
    Space Ghost: Won't you help? Just 20 cents a day and we moisten your dreams with man urine! Won't you help? I think I will. (Begins peeing in his coffee mug) Won't you help? Look at this... (After he finishes peeing) Now, Moltar, sprinkle my contribution on the children, so that they may dream.
  • Live At The Filmore
    • Space Ghost ending up in jail for dining and dashing because he realized he had no money, only to reveal shortly after that he had $1000 in his pants the whole time and didn't want to reach down his pants in front of the female police. Even Zorak has trouble processing the absurdity of the situation.
    • Moltar and Zorak convincing Space Ghost that a good way to improve the episode is for them to punch him repeatedly in the crotch.
    • The fact that this was unfinished, the last televised episode, and about Space Ghost blowing his jail bond on the show's budget and the Ghost Planet crew trying to do the show with no scratch. It's almost like Williams Street knew Space Ghost was through and decided to lampoon the show was cancelled in the most Space Ghost way possible.

  • Space Ghost interviews Tommy Wiseau in the commercial breaks for one of the Adult Swim airings of The Room. After the rather mediocre Gametap episodes, this was a return to comedic form.
  • Meta-example: Before the show aired on Adult Swim, the show's official website had transcripts of every episode, and since some of the later episodes featured stronger language, whoever wrote the transcripts censored the "bad" words but still gave a description in parentheses of what the offending word was. See Curling Flower Space for a particularly funny example. It was a brilliant combination of Bowdlerise and Getting Crap Past the Radar.
  • One of the commercials for the 1999 season had Space Ghost arguing with the network scheduling department.
    Space Ghost: Pound Puppies?! You have us following Pound Puppies?! What's the matter? C-SPAN didn't have any reruns you could buy?!
  • One of the easter eggs on the DVD sets has George Lowe in a cowboy costume for a remote shoot in the country. Over the course of the video, he gets more and more surly.
    George Lowe: (after his hat falls off) Oh man... how many ways is this sucking?


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