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Funny / Doctor Who Series 11

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"The Woman Who Fell to Earth"

  • Ryan gets so fed up with falling off his bike, he straight up throws it off of a cliff. And much to his consternation, and the amusement of others, it gets stuck in a tree about twenty feet off the ground.
  • The scene on the train, where the Doctor not only fails to remember she's changed genders and consequently gets momentarily confused as to why Yaz is calling her "madam", she then forgets the word "tongue", tells Ryan he should go into biology after he tells her (in a very Yorkshire accent: "Smaht boi! Biolegeh!"), and then asks him if he's a doctor afterwards, as she thinks she's looking for one. Especially Ryan and Yaz's confused reactions to this line:
    The Doctor: Oh yeah... I remember! Sorry. Half an hour ago I was a white-haired Scotsman.
    • Yasmin's incredulous "What?" is delivered particularly well.
    • The Doctor mentions that all the doors are locked and Yaz mentions that the only way in was through the driver's side window. So... how did the Doctor get in? She fell through the roof of the train... onto one of the Monsters of the Week that is currently terrorising said train. New gender, same old Doctor — she's still crashing into stuff she shouldn't crash into. And judging by the quote above, Thirteen spent half an hour falling. And screaming the entire way. No wonder she was able to smash the roof of a metal train. First fifteen hours of a regeneration come in quite handy in this instance.
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    • It was also an excellent shot by the TARDIS.
  • The Doctor mentions that she can get a new sonic screwdriver from her TARDIS... and then suddenly remembers that her TARDIS is missing, complete with a horrified glance to the sky.
  • The Doctor, once again, is forgetting/disapproving of body parts.
  • The Doctor's only reaction to finding out that she's changed her gender is to ask if her new body suits her.
  • When the Doctor asks Yasmin what her name is, Yasmin responds, "Yasmin Khan. Yaz to my friends." A few minutes later:
    The Doctor: Come on, Yaz. I'm calling you Yaz because we're friends now.
  • After Ryan mentions the thing that attacked the train might be an alien:
    Graham: Don't be daft, there's no such things as aliens. Even if there was, they wouldn't be on a train in Sheffield.
    The Doctor: Why not? I'm an alien and I'm here.
    Graham: [stares]
    Graham: Grace, we're going.
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  • While on their way to investigate the pod Ryan found, the Doctor asks Yasmin if they can have the lights and siren on. She then proceeds to look incredibly disappointed when Yaz tells her no.
  • The Doctor sticks her finger up her nose and, somehow, uses this to figure out that she's going to pass out in 2 minutes 19 seconds. Which she then revises to 19 seconds, remarking on how reliable her new nose is and passing out. It's also possible she was using her nose to deliberately knock herself out faster and was just expecting it to take longer.
  • Needing a tracker, the Doctor steals Ryan's phone and declares she's going to reformat it. When he protests it has all his stuff on it, she holds up the phone and cheerfully announces that it doesn't any longer. She then tries to scan the DNA bomb in her collarbone and zaps herself so hard she gets catapulted across the room and slams into the wall. The Doctor: Poking a finger in the rattrap since 1963!
    The Doctor: [completely unfazed as she picks herself up] That nap did me the world of good! Very comfy sofa.
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  • Ryan describes what happened in the woods at the start of the episode, which causes Grace to scold him for touching the alien object.
    Ryan: You all would've done the same!
    Graham: I wouldn't!
    The Doctor: [sheepishly] I would've.
  • The montage of the Doctor building herself a new sonic screwdriver has some funny moments as well.
    • During the montage of the screwdriver's construction, the Doctor stares with awe... at a spoon. It's probably a Call-Back to Twelve constantly using them as weapons.
    • She then finds a small blowtorch and stares at it with a look of pure disgust. She then makes a way bigger blowtorch. A way bigger blowtorch with two fire nozzles.
    • At one point, she's about to whack the living crap out of the sonic-in-progress with an enormous sledgehammer.
    • When she finishes the screwdriver, she holds it up proudly and activates it... which causes the screwdriver to pop and release a bunch of sparks.
      The Doctor: ...Should be fine.
  • On the capabilities of the sonic screwdriver:
  • The main villain, a deep-voiced, murderous, self-proclaimed Proud Warrior Race Guy, tries to menacingly introduce himself as Tzim-Sha... except the Doctor just hears this as "Tim Shaw". As if to rub salt in the wound, that's how he's listed in the credits as well as subsequent episodes. The Doctor, of course, being a monumental troll with an inability to not stick her fingers in the mouse trap for fifty-five years, can't resist the opportunity to spend the rest of the episode taking the piss out of Tzim-Sha.
    • He does a bold declaration of how he is the "soon to be ruler" of his empire.
      The Doctor: You say "soon to be ruler", what are you now then, the office junior?
    • When Tzim-Sha tries to warn off the Doctor by telling her that she's interfering in things she doesn't understand:
      The Doctor: Yeah, well, we all need a hobby.
  • Tzim-Sha asks the Doctor who she is after noticing that she's not human, and the Doctor tries to answer but finds that, much to her frustration, she still can't remember her name.
    The Doctor: Me? I'm... Oh, it's gone again! I had it a minute ago. It's so annoying!
  • Tzim-Sha encounters a drunk man walking home with a kebab, picking out and throwing away the salad. The man thinks he's wearing a Halloween costume a month too early and throws several small bits of salad at him. Do we really need to tell you how this ends?
    • Several social media commenters remarked that it was the most realistic thing of the episode.
    • Hilariously, several social media commenters from Sheffield have opined that it's the most realistic incident in the entire history of Doctor Who.
  • As a part of a crane operator's affirmations, he tells himself that he is valued and that someone out there wants him. That someone happens to be Tzim-Sha. And then Tzim-Sha says that the target (our crane operator) is worthless. He's visibly offended.
  • The Doctor, Yaz and Ryan climb up the other crane as they're unable to climb the one Tzim-Sha is climbing. Yaz asks if the Doctor has a plan, to which she replies that she's working on it and will have one by the time they get to the top. When they do get to the top, Yaz asks again:
    Yaz: You said you'd have a plan.
    The Doctor: Nearly. Nearly, nearly... [snaps her fingers] I've got one! I climb onto the arm of this crane, you swing the arm round next to Karl's crane.
    Ryan: Oh no, you're kidding.
    The Doctor: Karl steps across, you swing the arm away, I get him back in here, all back down for a cuppa and a fried egg sandwich. I'm really craving a fried egg sandwich. Simple, no?
    Yaz: [beat] Not really.
    The Doctor: All right, it's a work in progress, but so's life. It'll be fine!
  • The Doctor's brief "Really?" look when Karl (who works as a crane operator) mentions that he has a fear of heights. He answers her unspoken question by explaining it's his dad's company.
  • After a huge build-up to the Doctor heroically jumping between cranes, she barely makes it as she's still getting used to shorter legs.
  • Thirteen spends the whole episode still wearing Twelve's now over-sized outfit, and is constantly fumbling around trying to find things in the pockets — one of which times happens to be right at the climax, leaving Tzim-Sha and his victim just looking at each other. She's eventually reminded she should get something new and comments "It's been a long time since I bought women's clothes."
    • One can also conjecture that the last time the Doctor bought women's clothing was probably when Susan was around, which, for the Doctor, was over four-and-a-half-billion years ago. Then again, it could've been for any of the female companions. Or if she's talking about for herself... well, there was that one time with the Third Doctor. Or maybe that time as a vestal virgin second class.
  • When the Doctor comes out with her new outfit at the shop, Yaz and Ryan exchange looks and ask her if she's really going with that.
    The Doctor: Do you have any cash? Empty pockets.
  • There's a certain Black Comedy in the fact that two people have disliked Ryan's heartfelt YouTube tribute to his grandmother. In addition to the kebab moment above, this was another element of the episode praised for its realism.
  • The Doctor accidentally warping herself (along with Yaz, Ryan and Graham) into space. Not onto a ship in space. Into space itself. The Doctor looks oddly giddy. Her human pals are naturally freaked out.
  • Just the fact that the Doctor has once again kidnapped her new companions, just like she did with Ian and Barbara all those years ago. And with the TARDIS last being seen exploding, chances are it won't be working properly and she'll have just as much luck getting her companions home as she did with Ian and Barbara.

"The Ghost Monument"

  • After Yaz comes to and hears the Doctor arguing with Epzo, insisting that they're going to die if he insists on going the way he's going with his ship:
    Yaz: We're about to die?!
    The Doctor: Oh, sorry, Yaz, forgot you were still there... all gonna be fine!
  • The Doctor introducing her new companions to space travel.
    The Doctor: Welcome to what I presume is your first alien planet! Don't touch anything.
  • The Doctor tries to reassure her companions that she can get them home from this deserted planet:
    The Doctor: Yaz, I promise, I will keep you alive and I will get you back home. I'm really good in a tight spot. At least, I have been, historically. I'm sure I still am.
  • The Doctor lends Graham a pair of shades that she "borrowed" off of either Audrey Hepburn or Pythagoras.
    Graham: Eh? Pythagoras never wore shades.
    The Doctor: You obviously never saw him with a hangover.
  • When the Doctor, Yaz, Graham, Ryan, Angstrom and Epzo end up in a hologram of a room:
    The Doctor: Can I ask what is actually going on here? Because I'm confused. [to her companions] Are you confused?
    Yaz: Pretty confused.
    Ryan: Proper confused.
    Graham: [takes off sunglasses] I'm way beyond confused.
  • The Doctor was a hologram for three weeks. "The gossip I picked up..."
  • The Doctor is absolutely confused about what a "krin" is. And she gets no help when being explained how much it is in other alien currencies.
  • Graham asks Epzo and Angstrom to show a bit of solidarity for their fellow human beings. Turns out they're not human at all, but Human Aliens.
    Angstrom: Never even heard of Moomanbeins.
  • The Doctor sassing Epzo.
    Epzo: Well, maybe I don't play by the rules.
    The Doctor: Did you practice those lines in the mirror?
  • Meta-wise, the fact that the TARDIS is the titular "Ghost Monument".
  • The Doctor is very offended at anyone insulting her TARDIS.
    The Doctor: What he called the Ghost Monument? That's my ship. It's here.
    Graham: What, the old police box?
    Ryan: It didn't look all that.
    The Doctor: [offended] It's very all that, thank you very much!
  • Ryan shoots down the Doctor's demands that he put down the SniperBot gun, her saying that shooting them is not the solution, by boasting that he's played Call of Duty. Likewise, he rushes out and blasts three robots... only for them to rise back up, and Ryan to realise he doesn't know how to reload, prompting him to run back in fear.
    The Doctor: Now do you see why I don't like guns?!
    Ryan: Don't go on about it.
    The Doctor: I will go on about it. A lot.
  • No matter what regeneration they're on, the Doctor is always ready to tell people just how clever they are.
    Angstrom: How did you even do that?
    The Doctor: Did I not mention? I am really smart.
  • When the Doctor is trying to figure out more about the planet they're on:
    The Doctor: I want answers to this planet and I think they're down there.
    Graham: You sure about that?
    The Doctor: Nope! Come on.
  • Talking cloth, anyone?
  • While she's on the verge of tears while she's saying it, there's something funny about the Doctor, while sonicking the TARDIS to get it to materialize, saying the following:
    The Doctor: Come to daddy! ...I mean mummy!
  • After Ryan, Yaz, and Graham see the inside of the TARDIS and its console:
    Ryan: Can I press any of th–
    The Doctor: No!
  • The TARDIS saw fit to install a biscuit dispenser in the new console — a biscuit dispenser which presumably serves no actual function in piloting or flying. So the Doctor takes a biscuit and eats it. Not only that, the TARDIS also put what appears to be a small model of herself (that spins, even) on the console too — it might possibly be made out of ice as well. One usually doesn't accuse a millennia-old time machine of vanity, but we have to wonder whether the Doctor is rubbing off on her ship...
    • And more of both funny and heartwarming in real life, this was put in because custard creams really are Jodie's favorite biscuit, which the crew surprised her with. It's even Fridge Brilliance, as the TARDIS's last gift to the Doctor was a new sonic screwdriver. This time the Doctor made one for herself, so the old girl whipped up an alternative "Welcome Home!" present.
    • According to the production designer, the glass TARDIS model is supposed to represent the chameleon circuit. The chameleon circuit that either the Doctor, the TARDIS or more likely both have no interest whatsoever in making work properly.note 


  • The TARDIS shows up in 1955 Alabama. The Doctor takes a look out and remarks "almost!"
  • Graham is excited to hear this is 1955.
    Graham: Can we see Elvis?
    The Doctor: I think he's in New York this week. I can give him a call.
    Graham: You know Elvis?!
    The Doctor: Never tell anyone I gave him a mobile!
    • Just the idea of Elvis Presley having a cell phone.
    • The later revelation that Elvis loaned the phone to Frank Sinatra, which allows the Doctor to get the bus driver who was going to substitute for James Blake out of the way by offering him and his wife a trip to Las Vegas to see Frank.
  • Ryan didn't pay much attention to the story of Rosa Parks in school as she was American, despite his classroom being named after her. The best he can guess is that she drove a bus.
  • The diner scene where the waitress says they "don't serve Negroes".
    Ryan: Good, 'cause I don't eat them.
  • After the Doctor, Yaz, Ryan and Graham are kicked out of the diner, and the Doctor decides their next course of action:
    Graham: Ey, ey, we will stop somewhere else to eat though, won't we?
    The Doctor: No time, Graham!
    Graham: [to Yaz and Ryan] Have you noticed that happens a lot? I just need regular food, that's all!
  • When the Doctor uncovers a suitcase that had been hidden by a perception filter, she's very excited to open it. Graham, however, is less enthused.
    The Doctor: Is anyone excited? 'Cos I'm really excited.
    Graham: You won't be if it's a bomb.
    The Doctor: Don't kill the vibe, Graham.
  • The Doctor brushing off the TARDIS: "Ah, second-hand, tons of mileage, one careless owner."note 
  • The Doctor still dismisses a vortex manipulator as "cheap and nasty time travel".
  • As she and the gang walk away from their first confrontation with Krasko, the Doctor turns around and quickly sonics him with a very hilariously cross expression. Krasko doesn't understand what exactly that was supposed to accomplish.
  • When the Doctor starts writing down information on the hotel wall, Graham complains, since he's going to need to pay for that. Not only is the Doctor using a "special pen"note , but they snuck into that hotel room.
    Graham: You're not Banksy!
    The Doctor: Or am I?
    • After the Doctor uses her screwdriver to erase the writing...
      The Doctor: Banksy doesn't have one of those. Or have I?
  • When the police officer calls her "ma'am", the Doctor mutters "still can't get used to that..."
  • The Doctor snarks at the police officer about the motel facilities when letting him into the motel room:
    The Doctor: I'd offer you a cuppa, but the refreshment facilities are very poor. I'll be leaving a note.
  • Graham's cover for why the Doctor and him are in Montgomery? They are there to pitch an invention that's a telephone with a camera that plays music. Graham himself even claims he's "Steve Jobs". And this is delivered as awkwardly on Graham's part as you think it is. When the cop believes that Graham is disrespecting him, Graham employs a masterful use of Exact Words:
    Police Officer: Are you disrespecting me, Mr. Jobs?
    Graham: Steve Jobs would never disrespect a Montgomery police officer.
  • As the Doctor called Graham "darling" as the police officer entered the room, Graham puts his arm around her shoulders as the officer leaves. The Doctor's immediate response is to look at the hand on her shoulder with an expression of pure confusion and mild disgust. Graham immediately steps away as soon as the door is closed.
  • Rosa asks how she can be sure Ryan isn't a spy. He dryly points out that if the FBI was to send in a spy, they would pick one who A) wouldn't be spotted following her and B) wouldn't be British. And also that he doesn't think they know many black guys.
  • Ryan fanboying about meeting Martin Luther King, Jr., resorting to Full-Name Basis with him and Rosa.
    "Thank you, Martin Luther King."
    "Yes, Rosa Parks?"
  • Ryan putting on an act as a stereotypical boorish black man to get James Blake to go back to his job. Ryan and Graham tag-team Trolling Blake into a borderline apoplectic fury is a thing of beauty.
  • Krasko smashed up the bus Rosa would be on so the route would be cancelled. Graham and the Doctor's response is to hotwire and steal a bus from the terminal and pass it off as the replacement. The Doctor is making a running habit of stealing things — the TARDIS, Ian and Barbara, Ryan and Yaz and Graham, and now, in 1955, a goddamn bus.

"Arachnids in the UK"

  • While at Yaz's flat, the Doctor starts to muse about getting one herself...
    The Doctor: Never had a flat. I should get one! I'd be good in a flat. I could get a sofa! Imagine me with a sofa! Like, my own sofa. I could get a purple one and sit on it! [beat] Am I being weird?
    Ryan: Little bit, yeah.
    The Doctor: I'm trying to do small talk. I thought I was doing quite well.
    Yaz: Well... needs work.
    The Doctor: Maybe I'm nervous... or just socially awkward.
  • The Doctor's lack of a filter strikes again after trying to helpfully inform Yaz's dad Hakim about a package:
    The Doctor: Ooh, you've got a parcel to pick up. Left with a neighbour.
    Hakim: Yeah, I've been trying to get that for days. Couple of doors down. No reply.
    The Doctor: Do you want me to go get it while you make your terrible pakora?
  • Ryan's split-second look of panic when he realizes his friend's sister is hitting on him.
  • The Running Gag of the Doctor calling Najia "Yaz's Mum", and Najia correcting her.
    The Doctor: You made a very awesome human.
  • Ryan doing shadow puppets in the background while the Doctor talks science.
  • When the Doctor asks Robertson to describe in detail exactly what happened, she is taken aback at his succinct and complete summary.
    The Doctor: [shows Robertson her psychic paper] Crisis investigators! You just ran out of a room really quickly, looking really scared. Tell me exactly what's going on, omitting no detail, no matter how strange.
    Robertson: A giant spider just smashed through my bathtub and took out my bodyguard Kevin!
    The Doctor: Right. Very succinct summary, well done.
  • Graham mentions that Robertson (the amoral, Trump-like businessman) is running for president in 2020 because he hates Trump.
    Robertson: Please don't mention that name...
  • When Robertson is astonished that the Doctor doesn't know who he is, the Doctor takes a wild guess.
    The Doctor: Sorry, I don't know who you are.
    Robertson: Really? Because you must be the only person on the planet that doesn't.
    The Doctor: Are you Ed Sheeran? Is he Ed Sheeran? Everyone talks about Ed Sheeran roundabout now, don't they?
    • Then, later:
      Graham: He's running for president in 2020.
      The Doctor: Ed Sheeran?!
      Graham: No! Him! [points to Robertson]
    • Then, when Yaz reveals that Robertson fired Najia...
      The Doctor: What?! He didn't! You didn't! You can't be president if you fire Yaz's mum!
      Najia: Najia.
  • The Doctor's response to Robertson's boasting about his various business accomplishments:
    The Doctor: Should I look impressed right now? Is that impressive?
    [Yaz shakes her head]
    • The Doctor doesn't even bother disguising her boredom when Robertson starts talking about himself.
  • When the Doctor looks for Robertson's bodyguard Kevin in the bathtub and sees a giant spider instead:
    The Doctor: [to the spider] Uh, hi. Looking for a Kevin.
  • When Yaz's mom asks if the Doctor and Yaz are "seeing each other" romantically, the Doctor has to ask Yaz whether they are after saying that she doesn't think so.
  • The Doctor claims that she eats danger for breakfast... and then goes on to say that she actually prefers cereal, or croissants, or this kind of Portuguese fried food.
  • When Robertson tries to stop everyone else from going into a locked room that has various Danger and Keep Out signs:
    Robertson: Look at this! "Keep out, danger of death"! You are not authorized to go in here!
    The Doctor: Dude, I've all the authorization I ever need. [to Yaz, excitedly] I call people "dude" now!
  • Robertson ranting on "why don't you do what normal people do? Get a gun and shoot things like a civilized person!"
  • The Doctor lays out her plan.
    The Doctor: Spiders are roaming this hotel, searching for food. We're going to lure them in here with the promise of food then deal with the spider mother in the ballroom. Huh, that sounds like the best novel Edith Wharton never wrote.
  • The Doctor decides to lure the spiders into the panic room using vibrations. How does Ryan provide the vibration? Stormzy!
    Ryan: Sheffield's sickest grime station!
    • The whole scene above is made so much better by the reactions of everyone else; Robertson recoils in shock, while Yaz and the Doctor have huge grins and clearly find the whole idea awesome. And Graham... is astonished that anything could be attracted to that music.

"The Tsuranga Conundrum"

  • After waking up, the Doctor immediately tries to leave, wandering around the place with companions in tow and complaining about the lack of exit signs, before finally noticing she's on a spaceship.
  • The Doctor is told she had a chapter about her in a major book, The Book of Celebrants. She tries to brush it off, but just as she leaves, she intones "It was more of a volume than a chapter."
  • The reaction of the gang to finding A) a man is pregnant and B) his huge belly is only after one week.
  • When Astos asks the Doctor who she is:
    The Doctor: I'm the Doctor.
    Astos: Are you kidding?
    The Doctor: Sometimes. But not right now.
  • A dangerous lifeform has entered the ship. The Doctor volunteers to go to the area the lifeform is most likely to be, but Astos is having none of it.
    The Doctor: Don't like being told what to do.
    Astos: I noticed.
  • When Mabli asks the Doctor what she's a doctor of, the list she rattles off in response includes some odd things.
    Mabli: Doctor of medicine?
    The Doctor: Well, medicine. Science. Engineering. Candy floss. LEGO, philosophy. Music. Problems. People. Hope. Mostly hope.
  • Yoss is surprised when, after mentioning that in his species, males give birth to males and females give birth to females, Ryan and Yaz say that's not how their species works.
  • The Doctor's look of shock and offense when the Pting eats her sonic screwdriver and then spits it back up.
  • The computer's reaction to the companions' disbelief at the creature's name.
    Computer: Item Seven Alpha Cubed. Pting.
    All: Pting?!
    Computer: Pting.
  • Yaz and the Doctor bickering about the Doctor's plan to trap the Pting with a bomb:
    The Doctor: Pick a number between 1 and 100.
    Yaz: 51.
    The Doctor: Pentagonal number! Interesting.
    Yaz: What was the number for?
    The Doctor: Number of seconds before the bomb goes off. I moved it forward a little bit.
    Yaz: What?! I would have gone higher!
    The Doctor: Good number, 51! Atomic number for antimony, number of Federalist Papers written by Alexander Hamilton. I love that show. I've seen all 900 casts!
    Yaz: I'm really trusting you on this bomb, but I don't know what you're doing.
    The Doctor: Think of the Pting as a mouse and the bomb as a piece of cheese.
    Yaz: A very large piece of cheese about to explode and take us all with it!
    The Doctor: It's not a perfect analogy, I'll admit. You could've picked a bigger number!
  • Later, when the Pting initially doesn't come towards the bomb and the bomb is getting closer to exploding, the Doctor has strange priorities.
    The Doctor: Oh, please, don't be wrong! I'd be so embarrassed.
    Yaz: And dead!
  • It's a bit of Narm Charm, but once they feed the nasty little Pting critter the self-destruct and eject it to space, it floats away with a satisfied and happy look on its Ugly Cute face as if to say "Full now!"
  • Yoss says that in honour of Ryan and Graham, he's decided to name his baby... Avocado, after the great Earth hero Avocado Pear. Ryan and Graham explain that those are foods, and when they suggest naming the baby either "Graham Ryan" or "Ryan Graham", Yoss laughs and says those are ridiculous names. And given that they're in the 67th century, there's always the possibility that there actually is a great human hero with that name in the future.

"Demons of the Punjab"

  • At her birthday party, Umbreen gives her daughter Najia a bundle of letters between her and her husband, and tells her not to read the "filthy bits".
  • The Doctor worries over going back to see Umbreen's younger self:
    The Doctor: It's a risk.
    Graham: Oh, right, none of our other trips have ever been risky.
    The Doctor: I have apologised for the Death Eye Turtle Army. Profusely.
  • The Doctor doesn't take kindly to people insulting her TARDIS.
    Graham: This thing's telepathic, too?
    The Doctor: Don't call her a thing, Graham! And yes, she does have telepathic navigation. Sort of. Shorthand for a very complicated process which is way beyond your understanding.
    Graham: Ta very much. I only hang around here to be insulted.
  • Graham politely announces they're from England. Prem dryly points out that in 1947 India, "you might not want to announce that."
  • Upon hearing that there's going to be a wedding, Graham offers to sing. Ryan immediately interjects that they shouldn't let him sing at anything.
  • The Doctor has already gotten her rewards system for her travelling companions muddled up:
    Ryan: If I had to guess, I think we're going demon-hunting.
    The Doctor: Gold star for Ryan! Oh, wait, was I awarding points? I forgot about the points!
  • When on the Thijarian spaceship and noting that none of the Thijarians are there:
    The Doctor: Maybe they're out. Shopping. Catching a movie. Bowling. Some races like bowling. I'm talking to cover up my latent worry.
  • The Doctor rattles off a list of Noodle Implements for a makeshift chemistry set, including ox spit and chicken poo, ending on a biscuit. When Graham asks why she needs a biscuit, she says she likes them. Later, after everything has been acquired, Graham says that he is never collecting ox spit again, and Ryan clarifies it's because apparently the ox took a liking to Graham.
  • When Umbreen announces that for the pre-marriage celebrations, all the women should go with her and her mom and all the men should go over to Prem's house, the Doctor initially has a confused look on her face and looks over to Yaz as if asking, "I go with the women, right?"
  • While getting henna from Umbreen's mother, the Doctor, enjoying herself, says that she never did this as a man. As Umbreen and her mother shoot slightly disturbed looks, Yaz quickly covers it up by claiming it's a joke, and the Doctor (badly) goes along with it.
    The Doctor: Yeah, that's right. My references to body and gender regeneration are all in jest! I'm such a comedian.
  • Umbreen's mother says the Doctor can perform the wedding. The Doctor says she could, with Yaz scolding her.
    The Doctor: Haven't officiated a wedding since Einstein. His parents didn't approve either.
  • Yaz realizing her grandmother only settled down in Sheffield because she hit it at random on a map and "it sounds exotic."


  • The Doctor's utter glee at seeing the Kerblam! delivery robot.
    The Doctor: [jumps up with a delighted scream] He's the Kerblam!-man!
    Yaz: The what?!
    The Doctor: The Kerblam!-man!
    Graham: You're just making sounds now!
  • The package the Doctor receives contains... a fez. Well, she did say she was confident she hadn't ordered anything from Kerblam! recently... and this fez has been on layover for about 4.5 billion years and then some (from the Doctor's perspective, anyway). Then she puts it on and wears it for the rest of the scene, looking just as silly as Ten briefly wearing one in "The Day of the Doctor". Honestly, given how late the package wound up being, one wonders if Eleven ever remembered that he ordered anything from them at all. There's also the sheer fact that Eleven's addiction to fezzes got so bad that he actually started buying them with money, like he mentioned when he returned from the cracks in space, and that this is his Godzilla Threshold.
    • The Doctor Who YouTube channel even got in on the action:
      YT Comment: 8 years late on that delivery. I'm never buying from them.
      DW YT Channel: Please note: Deliveries may take up to 2 regenerations.
  • Ryan, upon discovering the bubble wrap in the packaging, removes it and begins popping it with glee. This sets up a payoff later in the episode: After years of using bubble wrap as a cheap special effect, Doctor Who finally goes whole hog and makes the threat straight-up deadly bubble wrap.
  • The Doctor distracting Judy Maddox with the psychic paper while sonicking her tablet-clipboard to put them in the database as new hires. And when Judy thinks they're related to some First Lady, the Doctor and her companions say they wish she hadn't put that down, and that they like to keep their alleged connections with this woman private.
  • Dan Cooper greets a robot by name, and the robot responds that that isn't its name, but it appreciates Daniel's commitment to amusing co-worker banter.
    Dan: Morning Les. How's the family?
    Robot: Good morning, Daniel. My name is not Les, but I acknowledge your amusing co-worker banter.
    Dan: Every morning. [to the Doctor] So much for machine learning.
  • The Doctor tells her companions off for being "robophobic" with the line "Some of my best friends are robots!"
  • When the medical scanner reveals the Doctor's two hearts, to Judy Maddox's surprise, the Doctor claims that it's because of the excellent medical care she got compliments of the First Lady. Later, Twirly gets equally confused.
    Twirly: Customers with your current medical symptoms browse: Blood pressure medication!
  • The Doctor is quite put out that riding on the conveyor belts is a fireable offense. Maddox is also quite oddly insistent on this point, as if it was a huge problem until they were forced to make the punishment so drastic.
  • When the Doctor tells her and Ryan to hide in an alcove, Yaz asks if the Doctor was one of those kids who stuck sticks into wasp nests just to see what happens. The Doctor's response is to tell a certain wasp story involving Agatha Christie.
  • The Doctor complains about not thinking of something sooner.
    The Doctor: Can you believe how stupid I am?
    Graham: Is that a rhetorical question?
    The Doctor: I should have thought of it sooner, there's too many things going on, too many variables, my brain's too crowded.
    Judy: What is she talking about?
    Graham: No idea, you get used to it.
  • The Doctor, storming out of Slade's office, says "Laters!"... and then remarks to her companions that she doesn't like the sound of it and isn't saying it again.
  • Twirly whenever it is trying to upsell or promote products:
    [In the Maintenance Store] Cushions liven up the grimmest workplace, like this one!

"The Witchfinders"

  • At the beginning, the Doctor and her companions are arguing about the fact that the TARDIS is not taking them to Queen Elizabeth I's coronation, and the Doctor says that the TARDIS is just being picky about where they land. One has to wonder if it's also trying to avoid any awkwardness with the Doctor's ex.
  • The Doctor's glee at getting a chance to bob for apples.
  • Alan Cumming as King James. A genius piece of casting.
    • Almost immediately after the Doctor tells Becka Savage that she and her friends were sent from King James himself, King James enters wearing a plague mask and then dramatically unmasks to reveal himself.
      King James: Forgive the mask. I have enemies everywhere, and have to travel incognito. Also, I rather like the drama.
    • He calls Ryan "my Nubian Prince" and, towards the end of the episode, asks him to stay as his "protector".
    • The psychic paper malfunctions (or says something King James will believe) so the Doctor is now "the Witchfinder's assistant" with Graham mistaken for the Witchfinder. He, of course, does his best to run with it with the Doctor, unusually for her, feeling completely left out of the conversation. King James also keeps dismissing the Doctor as a "wee lassie", much to her consternation.
      The Doctor: Becka was right, this place is horrible for women! If we're not being drowned, we're being patronized to death!
    • Ryan doesn't know how to react to King James' overly tragic backstory.
      King James: My father died when I was a baby.
      Ryan: I feel you. I lost my mom. And my nan.
      King James: My father was murdered by my mother who was then imprisoned and beheaded.
      Ryan: Okay, that's worse, yeah.
      King James: I was raised by regents. One was assassinated, one died in battle, and another died in suspicious circumstances. There have been numerous attempts to kidnap me, kill me, or blow me up. It's a miracle I'm still alive.
      Ryan: Ha! [King James looks at him, confused] ...You're not kidding.
    Not to mention, James' mother was Mary, Queen of Scots we're talking about, who was imprisoned and beheaded by the Doctor's ex Elizabeth I! It also makes Mary, Queen of Scots the Doctor's first cousin-once-removed-in-law and King James the Doctor's first cousin-twice-removed-in-law. Talk about a family squabble!
    • Adding to just how over the top the backstory is, the soundtrack plays sad violin music.
  • When the Doctor points out that it is very unlikely that alien mud invasions and witch trials happening at the same time is just a coincidence:
    The Doctor: I can buy that this is the biggest ever witch hunt in England, or I can buy that it's an alien mud invasion, but both on the same day? I can't buy that!
    King James: Why does the lassie speak of commerce?
  • After emerging from the water after being ducked, the Doctor once again tries to use "fam" to refer to her companions.
    The Doctor: Hi team! Gang? Fam? [Ryan shakes his head]
  • Graham warns King James that he'll face "great vengeance and furious anger" if he messes up. James recognizes the Bible quote, and Graham replies, "Tarantino."

"It Takes You Away"

  • The Doctor deduces that she's in northern Norway by literally eating dirt. She also deduces that, 25 miles away from their current location, there's an alpaca farm with a gift shop and bad TripAdvisor reviews. Unsurprisingly, the companions turn down the dirt when she offers it.
  • According to the Doctor, in the year 2211, there's going to be a "Woolly Rebellion" that renegotiates the relationship between humans and sheep. Then, at the end, when they return to the TARDIS, the Doctor notes that the sheep she saw earlier is gone, and suggests it's probably "plotting". One has to wonder, as she knows of it, just what part the Doctor did play in the Woolly Rebellion.
  • The Doctor reasoning with her companions when they don't want to follow a stranger into a dark cave.
    Yaz: For all we know, he took Erik. And now you want us to follow that nutter into the dark!
    The Doctor: No, I want you to follow [points at self] THIS nutter into the dark!
  • The Doctor takes Yaz by the shoulders and sits her at the foot of the bed to tell her about the Solitract because it is a bedtime story.
  • The Doctor's fifth grandmother thought #2 was a Zygon infiltrator. The way the Doctor says this gives the impression that #5 was considered the family kook.
  • The Solitract reveals its favourite form: a frog with the voice of Grace.

"The Battle of Ranskoor Av Kolos"

  • The Doctor reveals that Ranskoor Av Kolos means "Disintegrator of Souls".
    Graham: Oh, lovely, another cheery one.
  • While wading into the lake before entering the floating building, the Doctor laments that she doesn't have wellies, and says wellies are her favourite... in fact, she might have half-invented them!
  • There's something hilarious about Graham shooting "Tim Shaw" in the foot, and then begging Ryan not to tell the Doctor, because she'd be livid.
  • While the official companions never say it, the Ux maintain the tradition. When Delph steps into the TARDIS he immediately proclaims that it is "dimensionally transcendental", which is just a fancy way of saying "bigger on the inside than the outside".
  • The Doctor still isn't sure what to call her companions.
    The Doctor: Come on, fam.
    Ryan: I thought we weren't doing "fam"?
    Yaz: I like it.


  • The Doctor thinks that Ryan and Graham's doorbell is an "intruder alarm". Twice.
    • Graham's reaction to seeing Aaron at the door is to very flatly say "No" and slam the door in his face.
  • The Doctor decides they need some help, so she makes a phone call to UNIT... and finds herself put through to the UK Security Helpline, which unfortunately is not on the particularly helpful side of helplines.
  • When the Doctor talks to Dalek!Lin while in the TARDIS:
    Dalek!Lin: Who are you?
    The Doctor: I'm your secret conscience. Not really, we both know you don't have one.
  • The Doctor insulting the Dalek's new look, calling it "junkyard chic". Especially funny considering how much of a Rummage Sale Reject the Doctor is herself.
  • The Doctor expresses confusion at how long a Dalek rel is.How long? 
  • The Doctor gives Lin some pills to help her recover from her time as a Dalek puppet, warning her not to take them with alcohol or she'll grow an extra head. She finishes these instructions with "That was an embarrassing party."
  • The Doctor, Ryan and Yaz wind up forgetting Graham by accident when they're chasing after the Dalek, leaving him home alone with Aaron, the last person he really wants to be around. Graham is then quite salty about it when he calls the Doctor to come and fetch him.
  • From a Black Comedy perspective, the Dalek offers the British army platoon such a very, very short window of time to surrender before it casually exterminates them all that it qualifies more as a Pre-Mortem One-Liner.
    • Speaking of the Dalek, there's the mere fact that, according to it, if even one Dalek is on a planet then that entire planet automatically becomes the property of the Daleks.
  • Aaron just staring about at the TARDIS. And the Doctor geeking out over the microwave oven he brought.
  • When the Dalek brings down the Internet and phone signals across the entire UK, Graham and Ryan are furious when they point out that it has done this on New Year's Day, when everyone is hungover and nothing is open, leading Ryan to call it a monster. We then cut to a mother and her two teenage sons, utterly horrified that everything, including Netflix, has gone down, meaning they might actually have to talk to each other.
  • The Doctor has "skillz. With a zed." The subtitles even spell it like that.
  • Thirteen's continued lack of filter:
  • After threatening the Dalek, the Doctor turns to the others.
    The Doctor: I tried. You heard me, right? I tried, I gave it a chance.
    Ryan: Totally.
    Yaz: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
    Graham: You did, you did.
    The Doctor: I'm fast enough, right? I'm fast enough for this plan?
    Ryan: Uh, probably.
    Yaz: Maybe.
    Graham: Possibly.
    The Doctor: Well, that one needs work.
  • After seemingly defeating the Dalek, the Doctor geeks out over how cool her Slide Attack was, saying she may have beaten her personal record.
  • In some out-of-universe humour, to prevent spoilers, the Dalek was code-named "Kevin" in the script. Really.


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