"This is Mr. Huffle. Mr. Huffle feels pain."
- Nardole's Robotic Reveal at the beginning, where he walks in sounding creaky, and then when he holds his hand out to Bill a bolt falls out of his sleeve, and he tries to cover it up by surreptitiously kicking it under a table.
- Bill describing a girl she had a small crush on. Her method of flirting was giving her extra chips (Or fries if you're American) in the lunchroom. Only to realize after several months of this, her crush naturally blew up like a blimp.
Bill: I fatted her.
- This could have come across as mean-spirited, except that Bill makes it clear that she was still into the girl, as they both liked chips, and they even showed a flirtatious wink between them in a brief clip later.
- When Bill's foster mother is looking at her papers, at the top, next to the scores, is "Tutor: The Doctor".
- Bill asks the Doctor if he knows any sci-fi. He looks at her incredulously, as if thinking "You have no idea".
- The Doctor's usual introducing the new companion to the TARDIS is deflated by how Bill keeps assuming there's some mundane explanation for what she's seeing. It takes exiting into a completely new location for her to catch on. Gets lampshaded by the Doctor.
The Doctor: Is it my imagination, or is this taking longer than normal?
- It takes her quite a while to even realize she's even in a room that's Bigger on the Inside: She spends about thirty seconds staring back out the windows and complaining about the wooden doors!
- And when she does realize:
Bill: Doctor, it's bigger on the inside than it is on the outside!
Nardole: Yehey! We got there.
[Nardole and the Doctor shake hands]
- Which leads into this gem from Matt Lucas:
How is that possible? How do you do that? Nardole:
Well, first you have to imagine a very big box fitting inside a very small box. Bill:
Okay... Nardole: Then you have to make one.
It's the second part people normally get stuck on.
- Followed by one for Bill:
The Doctor: I need to know if there's any interest in what's inside this vault.
Bill: Why, what's inside it?
The Doctor: Something I don't want anyone being too curious about.
Bill: So you put it in the middle of a university?
Nardole: Ooo, valid point.
- Nardole acts like he's watching a back-and-forth game and ends up actively trying to keep the banter going by telling Bill when it's her go again.
- Bill comments on the Doctor's Girly Run.
Bill: Why do you run like that?
The Doctor: Like what?
Bill: Like a penguin with its arse on fire.
The Doctor: Ergonomics.
- This spectacular conversation between the Doctor, Bill, and Nardole. Matt Lucas's delivery of the final line is what really sells it.
Basic sterilization: we're gonna run [the water creature] through the deadliest fire in the universe! Nardole:
Yes, that sounds excellent! The deadliest fire in the universe!
That's definitely good! Bill:
How do we do that? The Doctor:
The only way we can: we run through it first. Nardole:
Less good now!
- Then Nardole finds out where the Doctor's taken them:
Nardole: I don't like there! [The Doctor tosses him an old sonic] The Doctor:
I want you running interference, can you do that? Nardole:
Can I say no, sir? The Doctor:
- When the Doctor tries to escape the Pilot with Bill through the TARDIS. To Bill's shock, they emerge to bright sunshine, leading to the below exchange:
It was night. The Doctor:
Now it's day. The Doctor:
Definitely day. Bill:
Oh my God! Have we travelled in time?! The Doctor: No, of course not! [steps aside to reveal the Sydney Opera House]
We've travelled to Australia! [Cut to Bill bursting into a restroom to freak out]
- When Bill asks "Doctor what?" the Doctor gives her an incredulous look, as if to say "you're doing it wrong".
- The Doctor is in his office, chiding himself that, no, he should not make Bill a new companion and start showing her the universe. And then talking like he's being ganged up on for this decision, by three important women in his life: Susan's photo, River's photo, and (via blue-glowing windows) the TARDIS!
- According to "Extremis", the TARDIS has been sat there for seventy years since that's how long the Doctor and Nardole have been guarding the vault. The TARDIS has officially become bored and just wants to get out there again. All of Time and Space and there's only so much you can look at before you get bored of it all.
- Just before Nardole shows up to tell the Doctor he can't leave Earth, the Doctor calls him "Mum".
- Bill spots an obvious design flaw with the current TARDIS; the chairs are too far away from the console so you can't sit down and operate the controls at the same time.
- The Doctor and Bill's first meeting with an Emojibot:
Does it speak? Will we understand it? The Doctor:
Well, depends upon what aspect of your language has survived over so many thousands of years. [Emojibot's eyes change to a smiley face] Bill:
Emoji! It speaks emoji! The Doctor: Of course it does.
- Bill getting stuck on the whole two hearts deal, while the Doctor rambles on.
- Bill asks the Doctor why he sounds Scottish, and the Doctor's response includes stating that, in the future, the Scottish try to secede from every planet they land on (yet another contemporary slinging of Scotland's real-life bid for independence. By the Scottish showrunner, no less).
- Bill watches the Doctor running off to deal with trouble from the TARDIS view monitor:
- When they're not scary, some of the emojibots' Wingding Eyes are hilarious, especially after the Doctor has realised they're an emergent life form and indigenous to the planet. He offers to negotiate a deal for the humans to stay in their city, prompting the bot's eyes to turn into pound signs with a "cha-ching" sound effect.
- The emoji sensors on the Doctor and Bill are also pretty funny in general.
- Bill cutting through the Techno Babble at the end:
I reinitialized the entire command structure retaining all programmed abilities, but deleting the supplementary preference architecture. Bill: [to everybody else] He turned it off and on again.
- Bill detailing how flimsy the Doctor's I Was Just Passing Through excuse is; he lives in a police box that says things like "immediate assistance" and "responds to all calls". The age-old and brilliant Doctor has no counter-argument to this other than the chameleon circuit being broken, but he's fixed it in the past and Bill guesses as much.
- The latest Mundane Utility of the TARDIS is as a moving van. Bill says the Doctor should hire it out.
- The Doctor loudly eating a prawn cracker during the chat with the Landlord.
- The nonchalant response of the Doctor to the house disintegrating in a swarm of bugs: "better lunch next time".
- When the Doctor offers to have dinner with the entity inside the Vault and tell the entity about the events that ensued in the episode, he specifically mentions he bought Mexican and that "a lot of young people get eaten". The entity's response to this is to play an upbeat piano version of "Pop Goes the Weasel".
- The Doctor tries to get rid of Nardole long enough to have a space adventure with Bill, how? By sending him to Birmingham for a packet of crisps.
- Nardole knows the TARDIS fluid link is needed to fly the TARDIS, so he removed it. How does he know the fluid link is needed to fly? The Doctor told him; he was lying. Nardole, somehow, did not see that coming.
- It also means that Ian and Barbara were right all those years ago and the group could have left the Dalek planet without getting the fuel link back! Apparently the Doctor's been telling that lie for over four and a half billion years!
- Nardole demands the Doctor tell him the truth. His response?
The Doctor: Don't be unreasonable.
- Basically, this episode the Doctor and Nardole take their Snark-to-Snark Combat Up to Eleven.
- Bill tests the gravity on the space station by hopping up and down, and is disappointed when she doesn't float off.
- Bill's reaction to the Doctor's Brutal Honesty.
Bill: What if you're wrong?
The Doctor: Well, we'll be horribly murdered.
- As everyone's putting on their helmet, Nardole can be seen huffing on the inside of his already-donned helmet and then trying to polish the outside! How do glass panes work again?
- There's a blue alien among the survivors, and Bill just can't stop staring at him.
Dahh'Ren: Great. We rescued a racist.
- The Doctor reassures Bill he's got the situation under control despite him not being able to see because, "I do most of my best work ordering other people around."
- The real Bill's date with Penny goes a little better than her simulated counterpart's. Then the Secretary-General of the UN and some soldiers burst in.
- The follow-up on the UN plane is gold as well.
The last I heard you were on a date with Penny. What happened? Bill: The United Nations Secretary-General. The Doctor: Awesome. Bill:
No, that wasn't a metaphor. The Doctor:
Good, because I really wasn't following it.
- The Doctor is playing his guitar on the TARDIS, and Bill asks him to come out because the UN's asked for his help. When he does, he finds himself not in his office but onboard a plane, because "the UN wouldn't say no." When the Doctor asks how they got the TARDIS out of his office, Bill says he'd told her that the windows were big enough for it to fit through, at which point the Doctor says that they weren't. And then:
Colonel Brabbit: Well, they are now.
- Nardole is HILARIOUS in this episode.
The Doctor: What do you depend on?
Nardole: Air, food, water, beer.
The Doctor: Nardole, can you do this?
Nardole: 'Course I can. I'm not just sexy.
- The Monks sticking a Russian sub nose-first in the dirt.
- Bill's second question to verify Nardole's still an ally and his response: "What sound do space station doors make?" and "Shuck-Shuck", respectively.
- Nardole once had an imaginary friend... who left him for someone else.
- Missy describes Nardole as "that bald fellow who looks like an egg."
- Bill says they could have quietly sneaked in but "The Doctor being the Doctor"... cue a massive tanker smashing into a dock and the Doctor cackling maniacally.
- Bill never turned in her essay on free will because the world was invaded by zombie monks. The Doctor points out that was her fault.
- Twelve has a massive understatement when he says that he's "not exactly thrilled" with the Monks messing with history probably because "messing with history" is on the top of his résumé.
- Bill says that Missy is "just a woman" and Missy gives her a "Yeah, no," look.
- Missy and the Doctor both refer to the human race as "idiots"; Bill gives them a look of offence as she is the particular idiot in question.
- Bill reveals she's the Lynchpin. Missy sits down on her chair and her hands lands on the piano keys (which sound exactly like the world "awkward"), which is also what Missy says next.
- It's blocked out by Nardole shrieking and the Doctor trying to cut her off, but Bill can audibly be heard saying "I'm going to beat the shit out of you!" when she threatens Nardole.
- Some of the things Missy wants in return for her help include: A 3D printer... and a pony.
- Missy claims the Doctor is so hot that he's literally on fire and randomly talks in Spanish, which she translates for Bill.
- When the Doctor says he's already found the Lynchpin, Missy goes "Oh!" in a tone that implies she's thinking: You actually got something done without me?
- The Doctor and Missy are bantering like a planetary invasion is a normal day for them. Then again, it probably is, though Missy is probably usually leading the invasions.
- The Doctor, Bill and Nardole walking into a NASA control room. The scientists are as baffled as you would expect.
- After failing to recognise any of the film and TV show references Bill is making, the Doctor finally realises Frozen is a movie. While making a declaration against the Ice Warriors. Bill's "Are you kidding me?" face sells it.
- Pooh-poohing the possibility that Bill could know a fraction of what he knows about ancient Romans, the Doctor mentions having been a Roman governor, farmer, juggler, and vestal virgin 2nd class. It's not so much the idea of the Doctor having been a vestal virgin that Nardole gets hung up on, as the notion that he was a 2nd class one.
- Nardole remarks about how damp the area is. The Doctor's deadpan response is gold: "It's Scotland. It's always damp."
- Upon finding a corpse that seems to have died from sunlight deprivation, Nardole's suggested cause of death is "Death by Scotland". The Doctor's reaction really sells it.
- When talking to the Picts, the Doctor throws Nardole's bag of corn kernels in the fire, then continues talking down to the Picts, finishing off with:
The Doctor: For now, would you mind awfully all just jumping out of your skins and allowing Nardole and I to escape in the confusion?
Kar: Who are you?
The Doctor: Let me explain.
[corn starts popping in the fire, the Picts jump out of their skins, and the Doctor and Nardole escape in the confusion]
- Bill's way of warning one of the Romans one of the void beasts is about to make a meal out of him.
Bill: Shift your arse, Roman!
- Missy was apparently watching the TARDIS crew on their adventure and got so bored that she started to read a book. The Doctor has apparently become so predictable to her that she got bored. Also, she's apparently doing free maintenance for the Doctor now too. Apparently the TARDIS's engines are in appalling shape.
- When the Doctor is analyzing the situation, he states that the Master was probably in disguise so that no one would recognize his "stupid round face".
Missy: It is, a bit.
- Nardole shows up on the hospital rooftop in a shuttle to rescue the Doctor and the two Masters. As Saxon's Master climbs in, he tells Nardole that the Doctor is dead and that he told him to tell Nardole that he (the Doctor) had always hated Nardole, then a few moments later Missy gets in and says the exact same thing.
- The Master tells the Doctor that he can handle the approaching army of Cybermen, now that the Doctor has put him on the menu. The Doctor tells him to knock himself out. So, Missy does.
Saxon: Oh, you hit me really hard.
Missy: You're telling me. I think... [feels her scalp] ...I think I've still got the bump.
- The Master casually putting on eyeliner while Missy looks bored in the background, which is hilarious for multiple reasons, not the least of which the fact that he carries an eyeliner pencil on all his schemes so he can look suitably impressive (not that Missy can talk).
- The Master explains to Missy that his TARDIS is broken because he burned out the dematerialization circuit. Missy throws him up against a wall and tells him she remembers a very scary lady throwing her against a wall and telling her to never be without a spare, which she then produces.
- And this act makes the Master a little flustered, leading to a Screw Yourself moment (which Missy immediately kills).
- When the Doctor, the Masters, and Bill first face off against the upgraded Cyberman, everyone manages to keep their composure while blasting it into oblivion... well, all except for Saxon, who's repeatedly screaming "kill it" at the top of his lungs.
- Nardole's little demonstration:
"Is that windmill important?"
- The entire fact that everyone else is hearing Bill's lines as the Mondasian Cyberman sing-song voice can lead to some quite inappropriate laughs throughout the episode if you put too much thought into it.
- There's something darkly hilarious about the Master and Missy killing one another.
"You see, Missy, this is where we've always been going. This is our perfect ending. We shoot ourselves in the back."
- And even more so, about how they both agree about that, laughing hysterically as they expire.
- The first promo pic◊ showcasing the First and Twelfth Doctors. Twelve is wearing one of his velvet jackets while sporting a pair of shades, pulling a rock star pose. One is standing behind him with a look that just screams "What is wrong with my future self?" Which is generally his attitude during the episode too.
- Taking Previously On Up to Eleven:
- This exchange:
The Captain: [to the Twelfth and First Doctors] So sorry, I don't suppose either of you is a doctor?
Twelfth Doctor: You trying to be funny?
- The First Doctor is not happy about how Twelve's TARDIS looks.
First Doctor: Have I been burgled?
- It takes seeing the glowing hands of Twelve for the First Doctor to acknowledge this is his future self:
Do I become you? Twelfth Doctor:
Well, there's a few false starts
, but you get there in the end! First Doctor:
But I thought... Twelfth Doctor:
What? First Doctor:
Well, I assumed I'd get... younger? Twelfth Doctor:
- Bill reacts to the original TARDIS just like a certain kind of hardcore fan: "The windows are the wrong size!"
- The Doctor hustles her inside... then pauses to study the windows as if noticing it himself; judging by his reaction, he apparently agrees.
- Watching Twelve cringe and try to hide his first incarnation every time One spouts something sexist, because his outdated comments and values are Flame Bait incarnate in the current age.
- A key example is when Bill talks of how she misses being in the TARDIS, One says the Doctor misses her too... because "the place could use a good spring cleaning."
- Then when One says something sexist in front of Bill, with the Captain chuckling in agreement, they both say that they have "experience" with women. Bill then states that she does too. The looks on both men's faces when they figure out what she means is absolutely priceless. Twelve just smirks proudly.
- When Bill calls Twelve an arse, One pokes his head out of the TARDIS and threatens her with "a jolly good smacked bottom" if he hears her swearing again. For a moment, there's a brief beat where the two look incredibly awkward: Twelve is mortified and Bill looks absolutely horrified at the thought of it...
Twelve: Can we just pretend that that never happened?
Bill: I'm a broad-minded girl... I mean, I know we have this whole professor-student thing going on, but...
Twelve: Can we just never, ever, talk about this again?!
- The Novelization reveals that One is deliberately acting this way to piss off Twelve.
- Twelve snarking at Testimony!Nardole.
Twelve: When you're already dying, you're entitled to think that your day can't get any worse. But, here you are!
- The Testimony version of Nardole reveals Nardole isn't bald like we all thought... he has invisible hair (which the database got wrong). And glass nipples.
- Twelve refers to One as "Mary Berry" and "Mr Pastry" on two occasions.
- As the Twelfth Doctor nears the end, he gives his successor a speech to remind them what the Doctor is all about. He also throws in the line, "And NEVER EVER eat pears!" Bonus points for the fact that Russell T. Davies actually removed the original "I HATE PEARS!" line from "Human Nature" because he thought it would encourage children not to eat them, but the line became so legendary that Steven Moffat decided "the hell with it".
- In response to One's constant complaints about his sonic sunglasses, Twelve puts them on his face.
One: [slightly disoriented]
Why am I wearing these? Twelve: Because I love it.
Never take those off! One:
What's "browser history"? [Twelve quickly takes the glasses away with an Oh, Crap! face]
- When offering the Captain some brandy aboard Twelve's TARDIS, One notes that the bottle is a little empty, with Twelve commenting that he might have had a nip "sometime in the last 1500 years". Later, on One's TARDIS, he offers another brandy, and notes the fuller bottle, commenting "So that's where it went."
- The First Doctor spots the Twelfth's guitar, and the latter runs over and tries to hide it, claiming that someone left it there accidentally!
- A hilarious moment of Wrong Genre Savvy:
- There's something comical about the fact that, despite the long time they've been apart, the first thing Twelve and Rusty do when the latter lets the former into his tower room is resume arguing over who's the "good Dalek". They both say it's the other guy.
- When Rusty disarms himself, the Doctor snarks that this is the first time a Dalek's ever gotten naked for him.
- A bit of bleak humour from the Captain when the Testimony explains why he won't be able to see them or remember them any more:
When time resumes, you will not remember this. A perception filter
will also render us invisible. Captain:
Yes... One imagines some of those words were attached to actual meanings of some sort.
- You'd expect a sudden gender change to be something strange or upsetting. The Thirteenth Doctor doesn't think so.
Thirteen: [with a bright, ecstatic grin] Oh, brilliant!
- The very first thing the Thirteenth Doctor does after regenerating and getting a good look at herself? She presses a single button on the console... which causes the TARDIS to reveal that all of its mechanisms are basically fucked after Twelve blew up. The TARDIS tips over on its side, flings the Doctor out the doors and then explodes, several thousand feet above the ground. Then just to make it worse, the TARDIS vanishes to repair itself and change the desktop once again, leaving the Doctor falling to her first adventure with the new body.
- Normal service is resumed, then, eh? The Doctor may have changed faces and genders, but some things never change.
- There's also the fact that as Thirteen is clinging onto the TARDIS console before she's thrown, she gets hit in the face by a piece of paper. The Doctor has, in order, hit the TARDIS with a pickaxe, a hammer and a building in 1938 Germany and the worst the TARDIS can do is hit the Doctor in the face with a tiny piece of paper!
- The TARDIS starts shaking up and down when it's on its side this throws the pages of the books from the wide open doors as if the TARDIS is trying to throw away something icky; it's like a child with a booger on their finger trying to get rid of it.
- Plus, the very first thing we see of Jodie Whittaker's performance in the role is a hammy "What the hell?" face. That should serve her pretty well.