Creator / AlpacaHawk

AlpacaHawk is a retired YouTube Poop creator. He generally makes edits of movies that are often 7 or more minutes long, and they usually feature manipulated footage. AlpacaHawk's editing style is more simplistic than other YTP creators, with less visual effects than what would be expected. His style is also less vulgar than usual for the genre.

Examples of his work include Peter Parker Fails at Life, the Darth Sand saga, Woody Loses His Schmoe and Aperture Science Sells Faulty Products.

Eventually, he retired from YouTube Poop making, with his final video, Jameson Fires Everyone, being uploaded on May 10th of 2021.

Tropes

• Actor Allusion: In the Darth Sand trilogy:
  • In the opening crawls, Anakin and Obi-Wan are referred to by the names of other characters played by Hayden Christensen and Ewan McGregor respectively.
  • Count Dooku is referred to by all of the characters as Willy Wonka's father.
  • Mace Windu gets a lot of lines from other characters played by Samuel L. Jackson, most notably Nick Fury:
    Windu: Chancellor Palpatine, I'm here to talk to you about the Avenger Initiative.
• Adaptation Name Change: In the Darth Sand trilogy, Anakin's Sith name is changed from Darth Vader to Darth Sand, on account of his desire to use the Force to make sand.
• Adaptational Personality Change: As stated above, the entire reason for Anakin's fall in the Darth Sand trilogy is to create sand. This is somewhat ironic compared to how Anakin says that he doesn't like sand in Attack of the Clones.
• Adaptational Heroism: In Star Trek Into Darkness the Big Bad John Harrison, AKA Khan Noonien Singh is a tyrant that nuked Washington D.C. and Moscow and likely planned to destroy those whom he deemed inferior. In Star Trek: Into Pengwings, all that he wants is his pengwings back, whom he sees as his family. It's implied that he would have spared the crew of the Enterprise if Spock hadn't betrayed him, as oppose to stating he's going to destroy Enterprise anyway after Spock seemingly meets his demands.
• Adaptational Jerkass: Several heroic characters get this treatment as a joke, such as Woody in Woody Loses His Schmoe telling Buzz that the toys in the bottom drawer need to be blown to bits.
• Adaptational Villainy:
  • In "Peter Parker Fails At Life" Peter admits to Aunt May to shooting Uncle Ben because he didn't let him meet MJ, then acts surprised at May's grief. His relationship with MJ is also shown to be more abusive.
  • Peter admits to Harry that he did kill his father and the butler confirms it. Consequently, Harry does not undergo Heel–Face Turn and is shown attacking Peter together with Venom and Sandman.
  • In Rise of Darth Sand, Obi-Wan requests to refuel his ship but is turned down repeatedly, and then threatens to destroy the entire city and kill its people if his ship is not refueled.
• Adaptational Wimp: Heroes often fail in fight scenes and get killed or injure themselves.
• The Alcoholic: Obi-Wan seems to have a drinking problem in his poops. First, in Obi-Wan Drinks Qui-Gon's Gin, he commits the titular offense, claiming "Mum said I could drink" (with Qui-Gon threatening to kill him if he does it again). Then in Revenge of the Sand, Obi-Wan heads off to the pub to "get drunk and unconscious on my back" while Anakin has a day with the politicians. Finally, when he faces down Anakin due to the latter becoming Darth Sand, Obi-Wan declares that his allegiance is to the pub (and also to Anakin's mum).
• Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking: In The Tragedy of Darth Sand, after choking out Padme, Anakin declares that he's brought peace, justice, security, freedom, some repetitions of those virtues, and finally, free sand to his new empire.
• Back from the Dead: In The Tragedy of Darth Sand, Grievous comes back after being killed by Obi-Wan, only for the latter to steal the former's ship, leaving Grievous stranded on Utapau.
• Bait-and-Switch: A very common joke is a character almost doing something, then deciding to do the exact opposite.
• Big "NO!": Octavius' awakening scene as Doctor Octopus is overlayed with the corresponding Vader's screaming from Revenge of the Sith.
• Bittersweet Ending: Optiprimus Searches for the Rubix's Cube ends with the Decepticons being defeated, but at the cost of the Rubix's Cube being destroyed, thus ruining any chances of Cybertron regaining its eBay. However, the humans have eBay, which the Autobots can use.
• Blunt "No": In "The Tragedy of Darth Sand", Obi-Wan requests for help from Bail Organa after Palpatine has issued Order 6 and sent him and the rest of the Jedi on the run. Bail says "Nope" and abruptly ends the holo-call.
• Bookends: His first YouTube Poop^note  Which is no longer on his channel, but it has been reuploaded elsewhere. is the Spider-Man 2 Poop Peter Parker Fails at Life. His final Poop, Jameson Fires Everyone, also uses Spider-Man 2 as its source.
• Bowdlerise: AlpacaHawk is known for refraining from using profanity in order to keep his videos family-friendly, but even they've made exceptions.
  • Spock is Emotionally Compromised has Kirk, after losing commendation and having Spock tell him that both Kirk and his father fail, mummer "pointy-eared bastard". Though Spock punches him while he's in the middle of saying the last word.
  • Revenge of the Sand has Mace Windu shout "I don't remember asking you a damn thing!" when Ki-Adi-Mundi asks about the droid attack on the Wookiees, when the conversation prior had nothing to with droids or Wookiees. In Pulp Fiction, Jules says "goddamn" instead of "damn". Later, in Rise of Darth Sand, Mace Windu responds to Anakin's pleas to spare Palpatine because he needs him by shouting "I don't give a damn!". He later plays the trope straight when he recites his infamous Snakes on a Plane line by shouting "Enough is ENOUGH! I have had it with these Sith on this Senate!".
• Broken Record: Aunt May kicks the banker at least 7 times, not counting multi-hits.
• Brutal Honesty: In Revenge of the Sand, Obi-Wan has a moment of this with Windu after the latter grants Anakin the rank of Jedi Master only to retract it after Yoda protests:
  Obi-Wan: With All Due Respect Master, you're dumb!
• Butt-Monkey: Peter Parker is not only an Adaptational Wimp in his own movies, he has own multi-part series of Failure Montages, people bluntly say they don't like him, and him falling onto a car is a very common Running Gag in other parodies.
• Casual Danger Dialogue: Harry manages to talk with his butler while fighting Peter.
• Catchphrase Interruptus: Obi-Wan tries several times to say "It's over (optional name), I have the high ground!", but gets cut off every time: Once when Dooku Force-levitates him, once when Grievous kicks him into the air, once when Anakin puts him into a chokehold, and finally when he tries to say "high ground" with a clear advantage over Anakin, "HighGround.exe" crashes so he's forced to play fair. The closest he gets to saying it are when he declares he doesn't have the high ground (due to being shot by Commander Cody), and again when he warns Anakin that "It's over, Anakin! I don't die in this movie!"
• Cloudcuckoolander: Otto Octavius is now obsessed with extracting the rubber-band energy.
• Crisis Crossover: The Darth Sand trilogy, as well as its predecessor "Obi-Wan Drinks Qui-Gon's Gin", features the Galactic Republic enlisting the aid of the Avengers in their war with the Trade Federation and later Palpatine.
  Windu: Chancellor Palpatine, I'm here to talk to you about the Avenger Initiative.
• Crossover: "Morpheus Searches For The One" series mixes up scenes from The Matrix with, consequently, The Incredibles, Taken, and Spider-Man Trilogy into a unified dialogue.
• Crossover Punchline: Some of his videos have gags where scenes set in a similar location as a scene in another film will mix the two together. An example is Aperture Science Sells Faulty Products using the scene in Man of Steel where Zod is about to kill innocents with his laser eyes and attaching it to the scene in the video where Atlas aims a laser at P-Body's apple.
• Death Montage: "Neo Fails At Being The One" is filled with Neo keeping getting shot with repetitive Fake-Out Fade-Out.
• Deadly Euphemism: After Palpatine appoints Anakin as his apprentice Darth Sand, his first order to Sand is to kick all the Jedi in the Jedi temple and then to go to the Mufasa System and "wipe the gunk off the sink!" (i.e. kill the Separatists taking refuge there)
• The Dreaded: The battle droids on steroids. In "Obi-Wan Drinks Qui-Gon's Jinn", Obi-Wan warns Boss Nass that they will take control of him and the other Gungans. Later in "The Rise of Darth Sand", when Obi-Wan tries to get a drink and ship fuel, Medon remarks that he and his people are being held hostage by ten level-10,000 battle droids on steroids; Obi-Wan just leaves.
• Eating Machine: In Obi-Wan Drinks Qui-Gon's Gin and Rise of Darth Sand, there are mentions of Battle Droids being able to take steroids.
• Failure Montage: The point of "Peter Parker Fails At Life" is Spider-Man screwing up where he did not originally.
• Foregone Conclusion: Lampshaded in The Tragedy of Darth Sand, at the climax of Anakin's and Obi-Wan's battle; Obi-Wan has the high ground and declares that "I don't die in this movie!"
• Gory Discretion Shot: Occasionally, the videos will cut to black when it looks like a character is about to die in the source material, often with added sound effects to complete the effect. An example not using a cut to black is in Chicken Walk, where it is implied that Ginger actually does get decapitated rather than it being a fake out.
• Hair-Trigger Temper: Spock in the Kelvin Timeline trilogy has a very bad one, even worse than in canon. He’s slugged Kirk multiple times (warranted or not), slugged Chekhov for his accent and slugged Sulu for not abandoning ship.
• Hypocritical Humor: In Rise of Darth Sand, Anakin confronts Palpatine and finds out he's a Sith Lord, Palpatine tells him not to be a pawn of the Jedi Council...and tells him to instead be a pawn of the Dark Side.
• Hypocrisy Nod: In The Tragedy of Darth Sand, after Anakin points out to Obi-Wan that by saying "Only a Sith deals in absolutes," itself an absolute, he's outed himself as a Sith Lord:
  Obi-Wan: Oh dear, you're right.
• Instantly Proven Wrong: Several videos feature a jump cut with words "nek minnit", where a character jest something wouldn't happen and it happens the next scene.
• Lack of Empathy: Peter Parker in Peter Parker Wants Pizza Time watches multiple disasters unfold in front of him, and all he does is buy or eat a hot dog.
• Morton's Fork: In Obi-Wan Drinks Qui-Gon's Gin, Qui-Gon cuts a deal with Watto that can only be of detriment to the former: Whether Anakin wins or loses, Watto keeps the Naboo Royal Starship. Anakin loses and, sure enough, Qui-Gon hands over the ship, forcing himself and the ship's other occupants to hitchhike to Coruscant.
• Mundane Utility: Palpatine explains in Revenge of the Sand that the Dark Side of the Force can be used to make sand, which soon becomes Anakin's motivation to become the new Sith Lord.
• Never Say "Die": One Running Gag in these videos is to replace "kill" with "kick", such as in The Tragedy of Darth Sand.
• Not Quite Dead:
  • Tragedy of Darth Sand shows Grievous survived his final fight with Obi-Wan and attacks the Jedi Master just as he's about to leave Utapau. Shame it doesn't stop Kenobi from stealing the Soulless One and getting off planet just fine.
    Grievous: No! My ship!
  • In the same poop, after Gunray is cut down seemingly fatally by Anakin, he sticks around the mortal plane at least long enough to notice that Obi-Wan has entered the fray.
    Gunray: Now, there are two of them!
• Overly Long Gag: One of the common edits is extending fight scenes by repeating certain parts, moving on to the next footage, then showing the previous part again.
• Pre-Mortem One-Liner: In Rise of Darth Sand, one of Commander Cody's ones, namely the one where he hands Obi-Wan his lightsaber in the source material, is repurposed into this.
  Cody: Oh and by the way, (pointing to a blaster cannon) I think you'll be needing this! (fires the cannon at Obi-Wan)
• Running Gag:
  • Most videos have ones of their own, but a universal one throughout the channel is scenes of characters falling cutting to Peter Parker falling into a car.
  • Peter's screaming if often overpositioned during "Peter Parker Fails At Life".
  • Every time Anakin says "me," it's replaced with the specific utterance of "ME!" from "YOU TURNED HER AGAINST ME!"
    Anakin: I know there are things about the Force that they're not telling ME!
    Anakin: Don't make ME kick you!
    Anakin: You underestimate ME!^note Originally "You underestimate my power!"
• Shaped Like Itself: One of the common gags is having a noun in a sentence repeated.
  Waternoose: There's nothing more child than a human child.
  Darth Sidious: At last, the Jedi are Jedi.
  Light Buzzyear commercial: The world's greatest superhero is now the world's greatest superhero
• Skewed Priorities:
  • At the end of The Tragedy of Darth Sand, after Obi-Wan has severed three of Anakin's limbs (with a kick, somehow), Anakin is upset, not because he's gravely injured but because apparently, he can't be a Sith Lord unless he has legs.
  • In the same video, Darth Sand is just about to kill Nute Gunray...and Gunray's only concern is if said act is in any way legal.
• Spared by the Adaptation: Rune Haako survives the Separatist massacre in The Tragedy of Darth Sand unlike the original film. Darth Sand decides to let the guy go...though now Haako "owes him one."
• Trademark Favorite Food: Peter's "Pizza Time" line gets upgraded into a Character Catchphrase of sorts.
• Uncertain Doom: In Transformers, Jazz is killed by Megatron. In Optiprimus Searches for the Rubix's Cube, he is thrown out of view instead and is never seen for the rest of the video, leaving his fate unclear.
• Unexplained Recovery: In Obi-Wan Drinks Qui-Gon's Gin, Anakin's podracer comes back seemingly no worse for the wear after he crashes into a stalacite.
• Unsportsmanlike Gloating: After defeating Anakin on the Mufasa System in The Tragedy of Darth Sand, Obi-Wan, to a dismembered and burning Anakin, brags about his love for the high ground.
• Verbal Backspace: When Anakin reports to Windu in Rise of Darth Sand that Chancellor Palpatine is a Sith Lord, Windu tells Anakin to wait in the Jedi Council chambers until "we end the Chancellor." When Anakin asks for clarification ("What did you say?"), Windu tells him to wait in the Council chambers until he returns.
• Your Mom: Right before the climatic showdown between Obi-Wan and Anakin / Darth Sand, Obi-Wan declares that his allegiance is to the pub...and to "YOUR MUM!!"

---

Palpatine: Lord Vader, can you hear me?
Vader: What did you say?
Written and directed by GEORGE LUCAS

---