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Characters / Buck Godot: Zap Gun for Hire

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    New Hong Kong 

Buck Godot

  • Acrofatic: Granted he's a Hoffmanite so most of that is muscle and he grew up in four gees.
  • Boisterous Bruiser
  • Combat Pragmatist: Despite being superhumanly strong and tough, Buck's first instinct in any fight is to end it by whatever means possible. Justified, since there are creatures out there tough enough to make him look like a 90-pound weakling.
  • Guile Hero: Not that Buck is a slouch when it comes to fighting, but his life and pay-check are always ultimately saved by his ability to think on his feet and play the entities around him against each other.
    • Genius Bruiser: In addition to being very smart, he's still a Hoffmanite, so he's superhumanly strong.
  • Heavyworlder: Hoffmanites are a Human Subspecies engineered for high-gravity environments. Their size and strength are part of the gene-tweaks used to let them thrive in these places.
  • I Need a Freaking Drink: He spends most of his time at the bar, though this characteristic is played down as the stories continue.
    Green-Skinned Space Babe: Are you Buck Godot, the detective?
    Buck: No. I'm Buck Godot, the drunkard. Detecting is just my hobby.
  • Kevlard: At one point his bulk saves him from a poison that usually kills in a couple seconds long enough to get the antidote.


Louisa Dem Five

  • Anything That Moves: She's a professional prostitute in a universe full of weird aliens. Being willing to do anything sexual with anything that expresses an interest is part of her job description.
  • Bald Women: It's unclear if she's clean-shaven or gene-tweaked, but she's completely hairless on her head.
  • Boldly Coming: Louisa Dem Five's preferred approach to inter-species diplomacy.
  • Ethical Slut: She's a prostitute, yes, but she has a very strong personal ethical code.
  • Hooker with a Heart of Gold: And one with a very strong opinion of hookers without hearts of gold.
  • Love Is in the Air: She's undergone a genetic tweak that allows her to consciously emit arousing pheromones, strong enough that she can literally turn on practically anything - especially if it's a human subspecies. One of the first signs that something is wrong with the humans on Gallimaufry is that she finds that people won't respond to her with arousal even when she has them on full blast.
  • Silk Hiding Steel: Not much silk, but she's the one who conducts a "New Hong Kong wake" to honor and avenge Oort in the Gallimaufry arc.

    Local Cluster 

The Pistol-Packin' Polaris Packrat

Director Fang

The Teleporter

  • Adventurer Archaeologist: Oddly enough.
  • Blue and Orange Morality: Does not consider species to be sapient (and thus worthy of conversation) until they have learned 'the art of true movement' (teleportation).
  • Eldritch Abomination / Starfish Alien: Most of its body is not shown: just an eye-and-mouth part that might be a head, and a couple of dozen hands, all sticking out of tiny, self-propelled, stargate-like devices.
  • Mass Teleportation: Buck asks for its help in teleporting away all of the inhabitants of a planet that's about to be swallowed by a black hole. It then tells him that it'd be easier to just teleport the planet, and proceeds to do so.

Lord Thezmothete


  • The Dragon: Although Thezmothete seems to be more 'indifferent' than evil, He-Who-Must-Be-Watered fulfills this role.
  • Plant Aliens: He looks a lot like a cartoony vase full of flowers, but is actually a sapient alien being.
  • The Runt at the End: He-Who-Must-Be-Watered has a new bud with a semi-independent personality.


  • Hive Mind: The entire reason why the PSmith was engineered was to create one of these. Every single individual is part of a single massive group consciousness — which leads to trouble when some of its component bodies fall afoul of an unexpected alien Gargle Blaster and are sharply disconnected from the collective.
  • Human Subspecies: They're an offshoot of humanity that decided to genetically engineer themselves into a Hive Mind.
  • Me's a Crowd: As part of the same process that made them a Hive Mind, the PSmith have a cloning-based reproduction system. As a consequence, every individual is physically and genetically identical.

Der Rock the Destroyer


    The Gallimaufrey 

The Winslow! (All Hail!)

  • Cartoon Critter: It looks like a sapient stuffed toy alligator.
  • Dissonant Serenity: "Hi!"
  • MacGuffin: Lampshaded and deconstructed. Three-fourths of known religions revolve around Its importance; nobody can agree on why. Wars break out as various races/beliefs fight over It, and there are disastrous repercussions.
  • Nigh Invulnerable: Nothing, but nothing, can hurt the Winslow. If you want to find the Winslow on a planet, the easiest way is to blow the planet into space dust; the Winslow will be the biggest piece left.
  • Obfuscating Stupidity: Maybe... "No! Do not eat own foot! Could not be stupider if you tried!"
  • Time Abyss: When the first sentients appeared in the universe, The Winslow was already there to say "Hi!" at them. According to its Secret Origins strip, in fact, it predates the Big Bang.

Frakkis Godot

Ambassador Ettarre Cabell

  • Meaningful Name: Ettarre is the unattainable Most Beautiful Woman in The Cream of the Jest by James Branch Cabell.
  • Reasonable Authority Figure: She's nothing but level-headed, pragmatic and reasonable.
  • Token Wholesome: With Thad. They're pledged to each other, and take their vows of dedication very seriously. Even when it transpires that Ettarre has fallen afoul of a libido-inhbiting virus, despite having her permission to relieve his own pent-up hormones with someone else, Thad instead chooses to just borrow a medical officer's Porn Stash and relieve himself.

Thad Gizmot

  • Authority Equals Asskicking
  • A Date with Rosie Palms: Apparently out-of-control hormones pose a health hazard. Ettarre has the libido-inhibiting virus, but Thad doesn't want to break his pledge to her by sleeping with someone else. Eventually he solves the problem by raiding a medical officer's Porn Stash.
  • Dissonant Serenity: Most people don't calmly walk through a raging Melee A 30. Most people didn't grow up in New Hong Kong.
  • Tiny Guy, Huge Girl: His lover Ettarre stands head and shoulders above him.
  • Token Wholesome: With Ettarre. They're pledged to each other, and take their vows of dedication very seriously. Even when it transpires that Ettarre has fallen afoul of a libido-inhbiting virus, despite having her permission to relieve his own pent-up hormones with someone else, Thad instead chooses to just borrow a medical officer's Porn Stash and relieve himself.

Sergeant Anton Clisp

Rowan and Martin

A team of detectives. One happens to be a talking Aberdeen terrier with spectacles. The other happens to be a cat.

Security Chief Parahexavoctal

Hyraxx D'Mofiti

Prime Mover

  • Big Good: The representative of a species that maintains humanity (and the rest of the Gallimaufry) as part of their moral responsibility to the less advanced. In other words, a little stuck-up, but with everybody's best interests at heart.
  • Porn Stash: It turns out that even a Sufficiently Advanced Alien can have one of these.
  • Sufficiently Advanced Alien: Presumably ranking below Lord Thezmothete, but he's still a Reality Warper who seems to have transcended all tool use.


  • Cute Is Evil: They look like sweet little cartoony reptiles... it turns out they were willing to destroy Earth by using a bio-engineered plague to wipe out humanity so they could get their hands on the Winslow, which they worship.
  • Funny Animal: Look kind of like a cross between a bipedal lizard and a bipedal turtle without a shell.


  • Attack Animal: They were engineered to be this in the most literal sense; they're essentially animals that were vat-grown to be self-transporting laser blasters.
  • Because You Were Nice to Me: Since there is a "shoot on sight" order for all Beemahs, Buck treating them with basic courtesy, respect, and honesty earns him this.
  • Living Weapon: And rather pissed off about it; they were constructed using Kleg biotech, and it was massively illegal.
  • Morality Pet: for the Kleg, in the end.
  • Punny Name: They shoot energy beams from lenses in their foreheads. They're beamers.
  • Servant Race: As they were created as Living Weapons, they were designed to be unable to do anything without aid besides sneak around and shoot things; their food comes from specialized machines, meaning they will starve unless they stay close to their owner Parahexavoctal, who makes good use of their unique ability to dispense hot anonymous death on the otherwise weapon-free Gallimaufry station.
  • Waddling Head: They have fully-formed digitigrade legs, but otherwise qualify.
    • Deconstructed somewhat— they require assistance for basic life functions, such as eating, which forces them to serve others in exchange for survival.
  • You No Take Candle: Are capable of more normal speech pattens when carefully considering things, but rapidly devolve into this when stressed (especially when pissed off).


  • The Atoner: According to the Kleg Ambassador, they regret selling the Zmouf the technology they used to create and enslave the Beemahs. Confronted with living Beemahs, the Kleg Ambassador breaks down and begs their forgiveness.
  • Planet of Hats: "They're jerks." Relative to humans, at least, the Kleg are all irritable stingy jerks. Their other hat is biotechnology... though there's an early hint of their deepness when it's revealed that Klegs prefer to prevent people using bio-tech to cause harm.


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