When the cereal box said 'adult supervision required,' they weren't kidding! #KelloggsPrankster
Scott The Woz (General) | Scott The Woz Season 1 (2017) | Scott The Woz Season 2 (2018) | Scott The Woz Season 3 (2019) | Scott The Woz Season 4 (2020) | Scott The Woz Season 5 (2021) | Scott The Woz Season 6 (2022-Early 2023) | Season 7 (2023-2024)
251- Wii U: Birth of a Death (Part I)
- Just the fact this long awaited video is finally out is hilarious. And unlike the other Nintendo console videos he made (sans the Switch ones), this has multiple parts to it.Scott: Hey, all. Scott here…and this is what I was born to do… (holds up a copy of Mario and Sonic at the Sochi 2014 Olympic Games, then starts loudly wailing)
- The season starts with Scott throwing his Wii U box yet again, this time into his game room.Scott: It is box-to-the-right season.
- Scott’s summation of Nintendo’s home console line-up:Scott: The Nintendo Entertainment System, Super Nintendo Entertainment System, Nintendo 64, GameCube, Wii, WHAT THE F*CK IS THAT?!!, Nintendo Switch. Oh, I’m sorry. You must be asking: "What the f*ck is a what-the-f*ck?" Impotence.
- Scott's (sarcastic) tangent about how Nintendo wasn't insane enough on making sure the Wii U's (rumoured at the time) controller was their sure-fire way on getting people to buy their upcoming console ends with an appropriate metaphor: Scott pouring water down his hand and exclaiming "IT'S WET!"
- Scott going over one of the "rumour" news articles for the Wii U during it's development phase, which states that "[Nintendo] asked for hands".Scott: I think this controller is gonna use HANDS! (cue black-and-white freeze frame of Scott with the words "GAMING JOURNALIST" written in red at the bottom.)
- Scott goes over the multitude of rumored names for the upcoming Wii U console (before it was officially named as such). One of the rumored names for the console? Nintendo.Scott (VO): The same people that wanted the console to just be called "Nintendo" complained that the Wii U name was too confusing.
Scott: Don't call a dog a cat, call him what I want: "Not-a-dog"! - Scott takes a look at Reggie Fils-Aimé talking about how the Wii's name was chosen because of how it had meaning. Scott then tries to assume the next console (Wii U)'s name from picking words that Reggie uses in his speech that precedes the console's name reveal, with "Wii Yes" and "Wii Absolutely" being Scott's picks. After the real name for said console was revealed...Newsreporter Scott: This just in: What the f*ck.
- Iwata announces that Super Smash Bros. would eventually release on the Wii U and would connect with the 3DS.Scott: Wait a second, WERE THOSE WORDS?! (cut to the audience at the presentation screaming and cheering in excitement)
- Outside of Smash Bros. and potentially a continuation of the New Super Mario Bros. series (as shown in the Wii U reveal trailer), the first original Wii U exclusive game to be announced? LEGO City Undercover, under it's working title: LEGO City Stories.Scott: (in a serious tone) Welcome to the future...(opens the door to reveal a poor quality image of a generic LEGO mini-figure)...of gaming.
- Scott mentions about how Electronic Arts was planning to support the Wii U with their line-up of third-party titles. They ended up releasing only four games in the console's history. And three of them were launch titles.Scott: Say what you will, that is unprecedented.
- At the end of Scott's tangent about how most developers and investors were flat-out confused (and even pissed) about what to think of the console, Scott then makes fun of the people who were praising the Wii U (regardless if they jumped ship later on or not).Scott: My dog just sh*t in the house, and it's f*cking brilliant- saved my marriage!
- After the reveal presentation, there were no news on the console for six months...and the next major news update on the console? NFC support. Cue footage of Scott screaming "YEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH" over said news article.
- E3 2012 rolls around and Scott goes over the Nintendo Direct Pre-E3 2012 presentation that played before their "All-Access Press @ E3 2012" begun. The very first thing they showed off to the audience? An entirely cringe-worthy comedic skit-based short that demonstrates how Miiverse works, featuring a dweeb living in his living room, wearing casual clothing, has short clean hair and wears dorky glasses. Hmmm...sounds familiar?
- Scott then doubles down on the slander by sarcastically comparing himself to the dweeb featured in the skit.Scott: Hi! I own a Wii U, I meet old people over the internet and I can't play Far Cry 3!
- Scott then doubles down on the slander by sarcastically comparing himself to the dweeb featured in the skit.
- When the All-Access Press presentation starts, Scott gets impressed over the fact that Pikmin 3 looks crisp and beautiful as a true HD game made for the Wii U. And then they immediately reveal New Super Mario Bros. U afterwards. Cue Scott with the most depressing jaw-dropping frown, in time with the first "BAH" from the game's main theme.
- Scott points out all the Wii U games that were revealed at E3 2012...and then removes all the games that released on other consoles beforehand, and games that were already revealed prior to E3 2012. This leaves us with six Wii U exclusive games that were announced in E3. Besides Nintendo Land, NONE of them were first-party, nay, second-party releases.Scott: Welcome back to "Buzz! Because…"! Whoever buzzes in the fastest doesn't give a f*ck about the Wii U!
(cue Target Employee and Jeb Jab mashing their buzzers repeatedly) - During the portion where Scott talks about the Wii U's built-in features, he showcases the original Wii's built-in applications (that being the Mii Channel, Photo Channel, the WiiConnect24-related channels, etc) via a fast-paced montage set to epic rock music, and then we hard cut to unedited footage of the Wii U loading up the built-in Parental Controls application, which looks completely pathetic in comparison.
- Scott goes into detail for each game release that dropped alongside the Wii U's launch...save for the last one, Warriors Orochi 3 Hyper, which Scott immediately dismisses in pure neglectful mercy.
- At the end of the first part of the retrospective, Scott goes into a coma. Cue cliffhanger title card!WILL SCOTT AWAKEN FROM HIS COMA?
WILL SCOTT TALK ABOUT LEGO CITY UNDERCOVER?
WILL SCOTT LIKE LEGO CITY UNDERCOVER?
DOES SCOTT LIKE LEGO CITY UNDERCOVER?
DO YOU LIKE LEGO CITY UNDERCOVER?
(in time with the cliffhanger music) WHY OR WHY NOT?
TO BE CONTINUED
252- The Childhood Game Collection
- In general, the reveal that the gaming childhood of Scott Wozniak, man with unmatched drive and passion for the medium, was mostly comprised of SpongeBob SquarePants tie-ins. Comments on the video swing heavily between saying that it explains a lot about his style of comedy, and wondering how the hell did he become a gamer with that kind of path behind him.
- Scott observes those who played video games as kids are most likely still playing them now, while kids who watched WB Kids are now in jail.
- The cartoons Scott made in Nickelodeon Toon Twister 3-D.Plankton: Hey there, Carl!
Carl: I can't stooooop!
Mr. Krabs: Do ya smell it? - Scott talks about how he used to bring the instruction manual for SpongeBob SquarePants: Battle for Bikini Bottom to school with him so he would have something to read.Scott: (with a black eye and glasses off his face for the fifth time overall) It also got me punched in the face.
- Scott played Gran Turismo 2 as a kid, but it left no impression on him. He says that not only it didn't get him into the series, but it didn't get him to watch the similarly-sounding movie Gran Torino.
253- Store Exclusives
- This bit from the sneak peek
posted on the Scott's Snippets channel.Scott: Wait. Do you hear that?
(beat)
Scott: It's you giving a sh*t!
(cut to the cartridge for the Nintendo 64 version of Razor Freestyle Scooter with a "Blockbuster Exclusive" label appearing under it)
Scott: Wait.
(cut back to the desk, accompanied by the sound of a car crash)
Scott: There it is. - The opening segment features Scott trying to buy stuff at Target instead of going to urgent care (as Target Employee should be at, considering he has a major hand injury), as he notices that the store is selling exclusive items that were previously exclusive to other stores. For instance, a can of baked beans from Lowe's (who in turn actually got them from Dillard’s). That being said, Target isn't allowed to sell the Xbox-exclusive title Sneakers, as it is exclusive to Toys 'R Us. Because of that, Scott decides to stop shopping at Target in favor of shopping at Kohl's.
- Scott talks about how Clayfighter 63 â…“: Sculptor's Cut is overwhelmingly expensive nowadays, Scott quietly contemplates buying it just to play as a random new character. It then Smash Cuts to him holding a copy of the game in shame.
254- Pro Controllers
- The description alone, which gives off vibes of Greg Heffley's "secret language":Pro-Scott pro-takes pro-a pro-look pro-at pro-pro controllers.
- The opening skit. All of it.Jerry Attricks: Hey all, Scott there! Competition’s in the air tonight, cats and dogs are beating the sh*t out of each other, air hates fish, and Scott’s fighting the urge to lose, which shouldn’t be a problem with that fancy professional video game controller he brought to the chili cook-off!
(cut to Scott sitting in silence next to a empty bowl while holding an Xbox Elite controller)
Scott: (at desk) I promised a kid in the hospital I’d win.... - A rather large chunk of the video is spent on Scott mocking people who buy and use pro controllers.
- When talking about turbo buttons on original pro controllers(Scott presses the turbo button)
Scott: (dressed as a doctor) You are sterile.
(cut to Scott back at his desk)
Scott: Man. - After complaining about how the Gamecube Controller can't be used on the Wii Menu, Scott comments that he feels like he's in Hell. One cut to him in Hell later, he admits it's not that bad.
- What makes the Wii U Pro Controller "pro"? A whole bunch of nothing.Scott: (voiceover; clears throat) No motion control, no NFC reader, no IR blaster, no microphone, no camera- Wow! (cut to Scott at his desk) This is for professionals!Scott: (to the camera) I'm f*cking miserable.
- When mentioning the public's eventual pushback against motion controllers:Scott: (voiceover) [T]hey were thinking "That's not what gaming is. This is!"
- When mentioning the public's eventual pushback against motion controllers:
- What's the one thing stopping the Nintendo Switch Pro Controller from being the Pro Controller?Scott: (voiceover) Hit Up on the D-Pad.Scott: Okay! (taps Up)
- Scott claims that the Xbox D-Pads follow a proud tradition.(Three Scotts all appear at once, holding controllers for each Xbox console.)
Xbox Scotts: This sucks! - By the end of the video, Scott finds himself reinvigorated, and returns to the chili competition, armed with a regular controller. And how'd he do?Scott: (at his desk) Hey all, Scott here! Or, should I say... (holds up a certificate for "Least Chili Cooked") Professional.
255 - Tears of the Kingdom Isn't Perfect
- The entirety of the "Hate Scott, Why Not" segments spliced in during the video, as a means for Scott "Hates Breath of the Wild" Wozniak to monetize the hate voicemails he gets for his opinions. Starting with...Caller #1: (angrily) SCOTT! I'M GOING TO FIND YOU AND *SKIN YOU ALIVE!!!!*
- Second segment, second round of callers!
Caller #2: Hey there Scott, heard you weren't the biggest fan of Tears of the Kingdom. I'm gonna do something cartoonishly evil sh*t to you! Your house is gonna look like a thirty car pile-up! Roman gladiator levels of bullsh*t! When they- when they do your f*cking autopsy, you're gonna have a different set of TEETH!
Scott: (unfazed by the hate as he rubs his tummy) Mmmmm, constructive criticism, yum-yum-yum!
Caller #3: YOU'RE A JACKASS!!! IF YOU THINK TEARS OF THE KINGDOM ISN'T THE F*CKING BEST GAME, EVER MADE, I WILL COME TO OHIO AND *BEAT YOUR ASS!*
(cut to Scott removing Ohio from the map)- Later on:
Caller #4: (laughing) Oh my god, Scott. It has to be opposite day where you are because YOU actually think that we give a f*ck about your Tears of the Kingdom opinions?? You nerd emoji looking F*CK! (laughs again)
Scott: I've been feeling damn good lately, but I know- I need to balance my emotions more, so thank you for hurting me!
Caller #5: Hey Scott, this is Matthew from Tucson, Arizona! I don't actually care about Tears of the Kingdom, but I have to ask you- have you ever paid your taxes?
Scott: (smiles, looks at the camera, and without a word, moves on to the next caller)
Caller #6: Hey Scott? What does the "C" in "Scott" stand for? F***ING IDIOT!
Scott: (still sounding positive) No, it stands for "thank you for your input"!- The next round of callers:
Caller #7: Alright, answer me this, bitch. You ever woken up in the morning, and tried having a good opinion?
Scott: (still unfazed) Thank you for your input. Unfortunately, I've always wanted to have bad opinions and not wake up!
Caller #8: Hey Scott, your opinions on Tears of the Kingdom are so bad, my wife left me! Thanks for that, asshole!
Scott: It's touching when someone says I affected their life...!- And finally...
Caller #9: Hey Scott, go f*ck yourself.
Scott: (still smiling, looks at the camera and nods.)
Caller #10: Heeey Scott, I'm just calling in with my barbershop choir with this little message. And-a-one, and-a-two, and-a...
Caller #10 and his barbershop choir: You're just plain incor-rect!🎵
Caller #10: And dumb~
Scott: How cute! And hurtful, I-I'm in pain(!)
Final Caller: Hey Scott, first time viewer, long time caller here! Y'know, I've agreed with you up until this point, but you never considered that we both might be f*cking idiots?
Scott: (for the first time in the video, takes in the insult negatively, and is now pissed off) HEY!!!
256 - Nintendo Switch: Six Years In
- Scott struggles to remember the name of the month following July and instead refers to it as "The Month with Kirby's Dream Buffet".
- Scott's explanation as to why Splatoon 3 didn't exactly grab him is a montage of his in-game deaths, followed by Scott unintelligibly blubbering.Subtitles: It's a bit too hard to play right now because everybody else has been playing for so long and is much better than me.
- After most of the announcements during the September 2022 direct, Scott says he hopes the announcements get better. Immediately afterwards, the next announcement shows the assassination of Abraham Lincoln.
257 - Candy Games
- The Gang's Halloween Costumes
- Scott's costume is Scott's Opinions.
- Jeb goes as an adult... not helped by him drinking milk compulsivly.
- Rex is going as the Wolfman if the Wolfman was going as him.
- Jerry has a piece of paper taped to his chest that says "I hate Halloween" and when asked, reveals he's going as a liar.
- Target Employee is dressed up as a vampire... but reveals he's also going as a liar because fuck vampires.
- Target Employee tells the gang that there's a loophole that allows him to give them free candy from Target, hold him at gunpoint.
- Scott talks enthusiastically about how M&Ms Adventure is better than he expected as it's a sub-par platformer and not a minigame collection.Scott: Is this real life?
(M&Ms Beach Party appears on screen)
(Scott has a look of pained agony)
Scott: Yes. - Jerry goes bobbing for mortgages... and never comes back up. He's somehow able to change rooms while still face down in the water.
258 - The Annual Release
- The description.Year? Scott prefers the term, "That thing Just Dance releases in".
- The entire intro, which was uploaded in nearly its entirety on Scott's Snippets as a sneak peek.Unnamed company employee #1: Revenue?
Unnamed company employee #2: Assets.
Unnamed company employee #3: Negligence?
Unnamed company employee #2: Debt!
Unnamed company employee #1: Profit!
Unnamed company leader: Team, it's been another incredible year at Business Productions! Which means half of you are fired.note
Unnamed company employee #3: We're disposable for a reason, sir!
Unnamed company employee #2: Like napkins.
Unnamed company leader: Now that half of our workforce has been eliminated, you know what that means!
Unnamed company employee #3: (looking to a graveyard outside the window) It never gets easier.
Unnamed company leader: We can finally afford this informational video on how companies make money!
Scott: Hey all, Scott here! Quick, don't fire half your staff!
Unnamed company leader: F*ck.
Scott: Instead, consider releasing a game titled Madden '54! (Beat) You'll be competition-free for the next 30 years. - The next bit after the intro is great too.Scott: I'm a creature of habit! Every year I do the same thing. (labeled 2013) I wake up, I say it, I buy Assassin's Creed. (labeled 2014) I wake up, I say it, I buy Assassin's Creed. (labeled 2015) I wake up, I say it, I buy Assassin's Creed. (labeled 2016) I wake up, I say it, I buy Assassin's Creed.Explanation
(Scott stares silently at the floor, then the world starts glitching out.)
(somber) The simulation has crumbled.- Brick Joke at the end of the video: The whole episode turns out to be All Just a Dream Scott had in 2023. He wakes up, says his Character Catchphrase, and buys Assassin's Creed: Mirage.
259 - Have a Bootleg Gaming Christmas!
- Apparently, the reason why Scott is so frustrated in the beginning is that his calendar is burning and he now does not know what day it is. He never thinks to use anything other than a calendar. Like his phone.
- Kay Swiss makes his first reappearance since Gaming Revivals of Season 5... and he's in jail. For doing his job. Apparently, in this universe, banking is embezzlement.
- Additionally, because Scott needs help from Kay, and Kay is, well, in jail, he manages to get out (at least temporarily) by putting up a "GONE FISHING" sign. Police Employee falls for it.
- After Scott and Kay Swiss making their first bootleg, Police Employee rushes into to take Kay Swiss down at super speed.
- The bootleg console Scott bought doesn't have any company names, but so many for the product itself, he doesn't know what to call it: from "777 Built-In Classic Games" and "Entertainment System" to "Mini PC Game" and "Mini TV game nniversary Edition" (sic) to "the machine". So to get on the government's good side, Scott decides to stick to "Lincoln".Police Employee: Hey, is that illegal?
Scott: No, it's Lincoln.
Police Employee: Oh, love that guy! - Scott takes a look at Somari, a bootleg NES port of Sonic the Hedgehog. By the look at the title screen and the game's title, he understands that it combines Mario with social anxiety.
- GV3000 Retro Bookshelt TV claims that it has "308 Nostalgia Games [that] Let You Back To Happy Time". Scott sarcastically recalls happy memories sitting in front of it for hours and playing "crocodile from Where's My Water?", with a zoom in on an icon of Swampy with "Puzzle" label bellow it.
- Can Scott recommend GV3000? He answers this question by silently selecting a Battle City hack named Making Love and showing its title screen.
- Scott and his friends' reactions to 7 Grand Dad, the infamous bootleg game of The Flintstones: The Rescue of Dino & Hoppy. All of them have a face that looks like a mix of being horrified and confused, except for Jeb Jab who has a big grin on his face.
- Who was this hack made for? Apparently for Scott, since he had to cover 40% of the screen whenever he watched The Flintstones, and 7 Grand Dad replaces Fred's face with Mario's. Cut to Scott and his friends looking at the TV, Scott himself not moving at all, but being blurred and having a very excited look on his face.
- Rex gives Jeb a gun with an orange tip (implying that it's a toy) and asks to point it at him. When Jeb does just that, Rex is offended and pulls out another gun, but without an orange tip.
- Scott sings a song called "Next Best Thing", trying to sell bootlegs to Terry and Target Employee by singing about the benefits of them. Immediately after the song, it cuts to Scott and the gang in a jail cell.Jeb Jab: Is meth vegan?
- After being bailed out of prison, Scott finally manages to get his calendar thanks to being an ex-con, only for him to find out that it's been March this whole time.
260 - Wii U: Downfall of a Downfall (Part II)
- Scott's grievances of the Wii U Pro Controller's button layout:Narrator Scott: What's your definition of winning, by the way? (cut to Scott at his shelves) It better be this.
Scott: (shaking angrily) They put the damn thumbsticks on the top and the BUTTONS ON THE BOTTOM!!!! - The bad press surrounding the Wii U around 2013, and Nintendo's response, summed up:Scott: In addition, Activision expressed disappointment in the system's launch, EA straight-up said it wasn't next-gen, and one of the Wii U games that was nonstop talked about since reveal, the game that was said to have been best on Wii U, Aliens: Colonial Marines, was rumored to have been indefinitely postponed for the console. Nintendo's response?
(cut to Scott wearing crazy sunglasses and holding a piece of paper reading "YEAR OF LUIGI" while blowing an airhorn so loud it clips the mic) - "The Year of Luigi is over. Return the hostages."
- Scott starts to laugh when talking about Rayman Legends on the Vita.Scott: I think more people are interested in Rayman Legends launching a few weeks prior, not just on Wii U, but on 360, PS3, PC, and Playstation Vita. Thank God you delayed it so it wouldn't launch on a failed console.
261 - Budget Gaming
- We open on Scott revealing that he had to give away all of his games as part of his community service following being released from prison "this month". He's clearly okay with this.Scott: (gestures to his empty shelves) Wow, it's almost like you don't need things to be happy! (Beat; clearly is choking down anger) ...you don't need them to be f*cking pissed, either...
- What's one of Scott's tricks to get games for cheap? A shotgun.
- "Video games are expensive."Rex: (frantic; while Scott rips a $5 bill in half) WELL, STOP PLAYING THEM LIKE THAT!
- In rattling off all the steps required to play Suicide Squad: Kill the Justice Leaguenote , Scott mentions needing to a Playstation Plus subscription "to... be."
- In order to buy a house so he can play it, Scott needs a loan, but one phone call to Kay Swiss (who's still in prison) tells him he needs to up his credit rating. And Scott's plan to do that is to buy 5000 Luthercoins in-game.
- So, all told, the cost to play the $70 Suicide Squad game winds up costing $275... excluding one final cost.Scott: (voiceover; over game footage) In the end, how much does it cost to play Suicide Squad: Kill the Justice League?Scott: (voiceover) My will to live.
- Almost against his will, Scott finds himself repeatedly defaulting back to the Tubi streaming service.
- After explaining how the viewer can have loads of game experiences despite being strapped for cash, Scott buys "10 Yard Fight" on NES.(cut to Scott playing it)Scott: (voiceover) ...yeah, okay, but I still bought Suicide Squad.
- After all the preamble, Scott admits he already tackled this topic back in 2017. Or, as Scott explains, "[he] f*cked up".Scott: Only four minutes spent on this topic, and one of those precious minutes being used to just gawk in a game store, and what was my conclusion? To buy Trivial Persuit for Xbox?! Ah, yes, that was great advice on my part. "Oh, you just got shot in the face? Well, don't do that!"
- "I think it's goofy as hell to recommend anything like [a Sega Genesis] for gaming on a budget. Like, 1) you can emulate every and any Sega Genesis game on a damn (cuts to a news article showing Sonic the Hedgehog 2 running on a Nook Simple Touch tablet) Not-Sega Genesis, that's for sure...."
- "They say the best things in life aren't free!"Scott (voiceover; on the Windows game store) Oh, yeah, well, what do they say about this?! (loads up "Pickup Driving - Free")(Beat)Scott: (voiceover) They say the best things in life aren't free!
- Scott decides to show off the Japanese demo for Sonic Forces. It's apparently just the first ten seconds of the game.Scott: (voiceover) Heh, it's almost as bad as the full thing!
