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Dragon Ball Z Abridged | Hellsing Ultimate Abridged | Final Fantasy VII Machinabridged (Main Characters)

Characters in Final Fantasy VII: Machinabridged. For the source material, Remake or Rebirth, see the FFVII and VII Remake character subpages.

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Main Characters

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Antagonists

Sephiroth

https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/image_76.png

"Good to see you, Cloud."

Voiced by: Mike "Ovarku" Varker

A legendary member of SOLDIER and the Big Bad of the series. Even amongst the SOLDIER elite, Sephiroth was considered a Living Legend. But when he learned he owed his existence to Shinra's Jenova Project, Sephiroth became convinced that Jenova is his mother and that they are both Cetra like Aerith, developing a genocidal hatred of humanity. He disappeared after Cloud apparently stopped him five years prior to the beginning of the series, but Cloud has no memory of how he did it.

Actually Pretty Funny: Sephiroth admits to Cloud that he does like the idea of a Pre-Mortem One-Liner ("Sorry to cut this meeting short!). He even uses the line verbatim when Tifa tries to get revenge on him.
Adaptational Badass: The UI gives him 9999 HP and MP during Cloud's retelling of the Nibelheim incident, which is impossible in-game.
- While Sephiroth isn't by any means a weak boss Final Boss in the game, a prepared player with a fully leveled party and their ultimate weapons can defeat him without too much trouble. Here once he turns into Safer Sephiroth the Final Battle is a complete curb stomp in his favor against all the protagonists (while in the game he can only be fought by three) until Aerith heals them and gives Cloud the chance to cast Ultima.
Adaptational Jerkass: The original Sephiroth killed nearly everyone in Nibelheim out of revenge. Abridged Sephiroth not only did that, but even murdered Cloud's mother just because of Cloud's annoying fanboy attitude. That sounds quite petty, even for a guy like Sephiroth.
- Upon murdering Aerith, rather than brushing off Cloud's ability to be emotional like in the original, here, he takes the opposite and more sadistic option and openly taunts Cloud on the latter feeling the pain of both her death and Cloud being unable to keep his promise to her.
Bait the Dog: He ends up pulling an extended version of this throughout Episode 11, assuming that Cloud's memories are accurate enough. He tolerated Cloud's fanboying over him, allowed himself to share a photo with him, and even praised one of his lame one-liners before using it on Tifa. And then he told Cloud right to his face that he killed his mother.
BFS: His giant Katana, Masamune. Apparently the wounds it makes can be mistaken for ones inflicted by Cloud's own buster sword.
Big Bad: Takes the reigns from President Shinra by killing him, leading to Cloud getting framed for it.
Bloody Hilarious: The only joke that Sephiroth makes during his debut in Season 1 is to tell the locked-up Cloud and company to "follow the blood"... which turns out to be the massive blood trails he made while going on a killing spree inside of Shinra Inc.
But for Me, It Was Tuesday: Subverted. His response to Cloud telling him he killed everyone in Nibelheim is to say, "I think I'd remember something like that." It's because it's not the real Sephiroth, but a fragment of Jenova taking his appearance they're talking to.
The Comically Serious: Cloud's Whole Episode Flashback in the Season 2 premiere shows Sephiroth was like this before he went insane, displaying almost zero humor, and speaking in an exasperated monotonal voice (even when falling down a cliff). Most of the humor comes from his exasperated reactions to Cloud's excessive fanboying and admitting he found Cloud's idea of a Pre-Mortem One-Liner ("Sorry to cut this meeting short") to be pretty good. A very, VERY minor example happens in the story's Darkest Hour of all places, when he allows Tifa to try to cite all her memories with Cloud in an attempt to make the latter doubt them...only to find himself in a front-row seat to the Long List of their Hilariously Abusive Childhood moments together, and the way he says this implies a bit of regret towards this manner of making them despair.
Sephiroth: (annoyed) This is gonna take a while.
Creepy Monotone: He never raises his voice beyond a quiet, detached whisper, sounding for all the world like George Newbern's Sephiroth. The only times he raises his voice are when he howls Cloud's name in a bloodthirsty rage at the end of the Nibelheim flashback, doing it again when he Mind Rapes Cloud into giving him the Black Materia, and shouting a Big "NO!" when he's finally defeated.
Disproportionate Retribution: During his psychotic break in Nibelheim, he goes out of his way to kill Cloud's mother in order to punish Cloud for his irritating Hero Worship.
Embarrassing Nickname: "Seph-dog", courtesy of Cloud/ Zack.
Even Bad Men Love Their Mamas: Played With. He's largely simply obsessed with his own lack of a mother figure then Jenova herself. And even then, once "Reuniting" with her he takes control of her as in the original game.
Every Japanese Sword is a Katana: Rufus calls his Masamune a katana even though it's clearly a nodachi.
Eviler than Thou: Pulled this on Shinra with his killing spree on their headquarters, even killing their president. Later proved this again when he called Meteor, to the point where Shinra's switches priorities to trying to stop him..
Face Framed in Shadow: His first thumbnail picture has him covered in shadow.
Foil: To Cloud. Both boast things about themselves that aren't true to feel superior. For Cloud it's that he's a 1st class soldier, and for Sepiroth it's that he and Jenova are ancients and the rightful rulers of the world. However, when Cloud found the truth he was able to move past it and become a stronger person. When Sepiroth found out the truth he couldn't accept that and used Insane Troll Logic to convince himself that if he was something better than an ancient.
Freudian Excuse Is No Excuse: His backstory is played sympathetically... at first. As Tifa put it:
Tifa: "Oh what's the matter, separated from your parents? CAN'T IMAGINE WHAT THAT'S LIKE!"
A God Am I: Taken further than the original game. Even after finding out neither he nor Jenova are Ancients, he just comes to the conclusion that Jenova was divine punishment incarnate towards every planet she destroyed, as he claims she saw that Humans Are Bastards even applies to the Ancients, and the denizens of every other planet, and thus, as her son, it is also his divine birthright to punish everyone.
Godhood Seeker: Just like his original plan from the game, Sephiroth fully believes he'll become a god by severely damaging the planet with Meteor and absorbing the resulting Lifestream energy into himself that would come to try to heal such damage.
Hate Sink: After his descent into villainy, there is nothing redeemable about him. He is a constant Jerkass towards Cloud rubbing in his face how he killed Cloud's mother and mocks him for being unable to protect Aerith.
Hero Killer: Just like in the original, he kills Aerith.
Knight of Cerebus: Unlike the hilariously inept and evil Shinra executives, nothing about him or what he does is played for comedy (save for one Black Comedy moment), and he's had a more-or-less direct hand in making Cloud and Tifa into the damaged, broken people they are at the beginning of the show which involved killing Cloud and Tifa's parents. When he murders Aerith, it is played completely straight and devoid of any humor.
Last Episode, New Character: Introduced in the Season 1 finale.
Leitmotif:
- A small snippet of "One-Winged Angel" (specifically, where his name is chanted) plays when Tifa points out the sword used to kill President Shinra was his. It also plays when he shows up on the boat to Costa del Sol.
- While not as famous as his boss fight theme "One-Winged Angel", Sephiroth's actual leitmotif from the original game, "Those Chosen by the Planet", is also used in moments with him, most notably in Cloud's Whole Episode Flashback.
Mommy Issues: Actually presented in a much different way than most fanworks. Sephiroth doesn't seem to have an obsession with Jenova so much as with the idea of his lack of a mother figure in general. He muses that the dragon he killed on the way to Nibelheim was likely a mother and he's left orphans who will die soon, openly talks about his desire to have someone who was there for him and never did, and murders Cloud's mother out of malice and spite as opposed to her being collateral in canon, leaving Cloud motherless just like he is.
Mythology Gag: His first line is a nod to his greeting of Cloud in Final Fantasy VII: Advent Children.
No-Nonsense Nemesis: He does not care for President Shinra's metaphors, stabbing him in the back while Shinra was in the middle of one. Also, he brushes off Cloud's hero worship, is immune to Tifa's threats, and in general makes things much more tense any time he's on-screen.
Not So Above It All: Even he gets irritated by Tifa's Overly Long Gag of stupid stuff she made Cloud do when they were kids.
"This is gonna take a while..."
- In the movie, he's not above dropping his own Title Drop Pun during the final battle as a Pre-Mortem One-Liner.
Not So Stoic: On a more serious note, he is especially livid at the Shinra MP that surprise-attacked him and chased him to finish him off. If it wasn't clear by now, that MP was Cloud...
"Who... the hell... do you think you are...?!"
- Immediately after, he's clearly shocked at that MP's inexplicably superhuman ability to reverse his strength on him to lift then throw him into the Mako pit below, Sephiroth screaming in fear as he falls to his apparent death.
- Part of his Villainous Breakdown as Safer Sephiroth. Just as he's about to snuff AVALANCHE out, he's incredulous when Aerith's Great Gospel fully heals them. His Big "NO!" when he's destroyed by Cloud's cast of Ultima is definitely this.
Omnicidal Maniac: After coming to believe Jenova was a Cetra, Sephiroth planned to destroy humanity. In the finale it's revealed he's learned Jenova was an alien but came to believe that Cetra and any sentient life would become evil so Jenova was just in nearly wiping out the Cetra, just as he believes humanity deserves to be destroyed.
Perpetual Frowner: A given with the current one, but when he shows Cloud the real photo taken 5 years ago, he describes himself as "looking happy"...while having a completely deadpan face. Given that he's showing the Awful Truth, albeit an incomplete one, he's being sincere about it.
Shoo Out the Clowns: Abridged!Sephiroth is the first villain portrayed by Team Four Star that's taken dead seriously. There's never a point he utters something funny, and the jokes stop dead any time he makes an appearance.
- Well, there are a few jokes, but they're incredibly rare and all focus on him as The Comically Serious. Example: His hilariously monotone scream as he falls off a bridge.
Took a Level in Jerkass: Big time. Episode 11 shows his change from a man sorrowful over the possibility that the dragon he killed was just a mother looking for food for her children, meaning her children wouldn't survive the winter, to a guy that killed an innocent woman merely out of spite towards the woman's son.
Unknown Rival: When Cloud declares that he's stronger and not just a SOLDIER, but The SOLDIER, he responds with "I have no idea who you are". The original Sephiroth only got to know Cloud's name right before he was chucked into the Lifestream, so either he lied, paid it little mind, or that Sephiroth was a JENOVA copy.
Viler New Villain: The Shinra executives were evil but Sephiroth's villainy puts them to shame with his desire to destroy humanity.
Vile Villain, Saccharine Show: In an abridged series full of goofy, almost cartoonish villains, Sephiroth stands out by being just as awful if not moreso than his canon counterpart. After all, Sephiroth in canon didn't single out Cloud's mother and murder her to make Cloud "just like him".
Villainous Breakdown: He has a rather brief but noticeable one when Aerith uses her Great Gospel Limit Break to save Cloud and gang from death, with him screaming in rage as Cloud subsequently casts Ultima on him.
Villainous Rescue: When the situation looks the most dire for Cloud, Sephiroth breaks him out and murders President Shinra. Of course it leads Cloud Out of the Frying Pan and into the fire.
You Killed My Father: Tifa lost her father to Sephiroth. This is elaborated on in Cloud's Whole Episode Flashback in episode 11, where Cloud also remembers Sephiroth revealing that he killed Cloud's mother too.

Shinra Inc.

The Shinra Electric Power Company is the corporation that rules Midgar. Unfortunately, they're run by a bunch of morons.

Adaptational Villainy: Shinra was evil in the original, but aside from Rufus and Reeve, the company's top executives are motivated by evil for its own sake rather than for any practical purpose.
Card-Carrying Villain: Most of the brass with the exception of Reeve and Rufus are cartoonishy evil to the extreme. To the point when Rufus declares that Shinra is going to save the world from Meteor, most of them are legitimately surprised and confused.
Evil, Inc.: Worse than in the games since the executives largely don't even care about money, and are only interested in evil for its own sake.
Greenwashed Villainy: Shinra claims that their mako power plant uses clean energy and has zero emissions despite this very obviously not being true. Cloud naïvely believes this lie and is puzzled that AVALANCHE has a problem with the "zero emissions" reactor right until Barrett points out the enormous amount of green smoke coming from it.
Incompetence, Inc.: Just look at the idiots they have running the place! Episode 28 reveals that due to Shinra's insane spending habits they are 36 trillion gil in debt.
Laughably Evil: With the exception of Reeve (who is barely evil) and Rufus (who despite moments of comedy, takes things seriously), just about everyone who works for them is either hilariously inept, grandiose, or both.
MegaCorp: Having a monopoly on Mako energy, Shinra is the de facto world government, complete with it's own heavily armed security force. They're also shown to own the news networks and the setting's equivalent of the Internet.
Stupid Evil: The majority of the executives' questionable actions serve no real purpose and/or are massively hurting both the company's bottom line and image. They keep doing it because there's no one to oppose them. By Episode 31's end, Reeve and Rufus are the only ones to not be confirmed dead.

President Shinra

"I am willing to utterly and completely destroy our enemies, no matter how many 'omelets' need to be made."

Voiced by: Graham Stark

The President of Shinra Inc., which is named after him. A unscrupulous man with almost no morals who is not above using crimes and violence to reach his goals.

AcCENT upon the Wrong SylLABle: None of his dialogue is properly accented, with weird pauses and rhythm.
Arc Villain: For Season 1 until Sephiroth claims the Big Bad spot by killing him.
Asshole Victim: Given that destroyed Sector 7 just to kill a handful of people, and has no care for Stupid Evil in his company, no tears were shed when it's learned he was killed by Sephiroth.
Big Bad Wannabe: Being the head of Shinra initially makes him out to be the Big Bad, and everyone else sees as such. But then Sephiroth shows up and kills before the end of the first season.
But for Me, It Was Tuesday: President Shinra doesn't seem to remember (or care to remember) that Cloud was in SOLDIER. That's because Cloud never was.
Cold Ham: While his tone is quite subdued, he tends to be rather grandiose in how he carries himself. His rebuttal monologue to Reeve about his concerns with dropping Sector 7 on AVALANCHE's home base stands out as an example of this. It comes off as a Badass Boast as to why he's not worried with the bad press it will bring, even though he never raises his voice.
Corrupt Corporate Executive: Gleefully notes that the population depends on Shinra's energy provisions, meaning they can't do a thing about the horrible stuff the corporation does.
Death by Irony: Sort of; he told Barret that the next time they see each other one of them will be dead. Clearly, he didn't mean the dead one to be President Shinra himself.
Even Evil Has Loved Ones: He is surprisingly patient with his cousin, Palmer, gave his niece a job as a receptionist, and even referred to his son as his "special boy". For what its worth, he does seem to genuinely care about his family.
Everyone Has Standards: He mocks Reeve for his grievances on where Shinra's budget is going, but Palmer's Insane Troll Logic on where his money went^note has President Shinra conclude that yes, Reeve's problem with him is legitimate.
False Reassurance: He tells Reeve that their customers are more than welcome to give their business to other energy companies if they dislike their plan to crush an entire section of the city with another section of the city just to kill five people... before smugly reminding him that they're a monopolistic mega-corporation that doesn't have to give a damn about PR since they crushed every other energy company "under [their] chocobo skin shoes".
Faux Affably Evil: Every word out of his mouth is said in a calm, polite tone. This includes when he's about to sick a giant robot on Cloud and company or drop an entire section of the city on another section, in metaphor no less.
Insane Troll Logic: His initial attempt to brush off Reeve's concerns about the plan to collapse the Sector 7 plate, saying "we live in a world of, absolutes." This only prompts Reeve to point that yes, as in the plan is absolutely terrible.
Knight of Cerebus: While Laughably Evil, his appearance marks the first significant moments in the series that are not played for comedy.
Killed Mid-Sentence: According to the only major eyewitness, he died halfway through one of his famous elaborate bits of figurative language.
Metaphorgotten: He tends to get stuck on them pretty easily. All of his dialogue in his introduction is one long metaphor comparing AVALANCHE to rats, and he later is very fond of Reeve's aborted omelette metaphor. He dies doing what he loves: making an elaborate quasi-sensical metaphor.
Nepotism: He's a practitioner with varying levels of success, having given the position of Vice President to his son (who, to be fair is competent, if treacherous), the Space Program to his cousin (who is literally burning money) and a receptionist job to his niece (who lets AVALANCHE storm the place and Sephiroth go on a killing spree).
Oh, Wait!: When he "remembers" that his customers can't do anything in the face of his company's actions.
Starter Villain: He's the Big Bad up until Sephiroth puts a sword in his back.
The Unfettered: He initially brushes off any kind of logical reasoning by Reeve against dropping part Sector 7's plate on the lower half by stating he will do anything it takes to destroy Shinra's enemies and doesn't care what measures he has to take to do it. Since Shinra is the only supplier of energy, he feels he can do whatever it can without any consequences.

Rufus (Ain't-Nepotism-a-Bitch) Shinra

"I'm no son of a bitch, I'm the heir to a bastard."

Voiced by: Xander Mobus

The son of President Shinra, who is promoted from vice-president to president of Shinra Inc. after the death of his father. Far from being shaken up about it, Rufus relishes his new position, and is all too happy to frame AVALANCHE for his father's murder while letting Sephiroth get away scot free.

Ambiguously Gay: He makes one heck of a Double Entendre before his fight with Cloud.
Antagonistic Offspring: Rufus hates his father which is made obvious when he first appears, celebrating becoming Shinra's president because of his father's murder. Episode 26 has Rufus obsessed with showing up his late father with Cid even mocking that Rufus is living under his father's shadow.
Badass in a Nice Suit: Manages to wound Cloud several times in their fight while wearing a Giuseppe brand suit. He doesn't appreciate Cloud scuffing it, either.
Badass Longcoat: To go along with his suit he wears a long white coat to compliment it.
Deep South: His accent, much like his father's.
Even Evil Has Standards:
- Claims that he wouldn't judge Cloud because he wore a dress once.
- He is far less pleased with Heidegger's thirst for overkill than his father, both past (the destruction of Sector 7) and future (obliterating the western continent to kill Sephiroth).
- He allowed his men to bring back one souvenir from Costa-del-Sol. "But, no, women do not count, you pigs."
Exact Words: His Press Statement.
Rufus: I loved my father as much as he loved this city and its inhabitants.^note
Faux Affably Evil: He's very and genuinely civil to AVALANCHE, and his fight with Cloud is quite civilized while they're not attacking each other. He also proposes to frame AVALANCHE for killing his father at the same time. Later, he greets Cid with open arms and a warm greeting while telling that he's liquidating the Space Program for good (and throwing his dream under the bus in the process) and that he's giving him a nice comfy desk job.
Heel Realization: Surprisingly, for a character that has largely been Faux Affably Evil since his debut, Rufus actually undergoes this after the incident at Junon. After nearly losing his life, he comes to realize that his original goal of finding the Promised Land to spite his father was selfish and vows to use Shinra's resources to save the planet by trying to stop meteor.
- What is particularly interesting is that this sort of heel realization is actually in-line with Rufus trying to atone for his mistakes in canon after he nearly lost his life against Diamond Weapon. However, in this particular case, it happens much earlier in the story as a result of Sapphire Weapon being more of a threat to him due to Heidegger's incompetence.
Like Father, Like Son: He seems to take after his father in terms of personality and job position. As it turns out, he also shares his father's penchant for metaphors, or at least enough that he could finish his father's last metaphor when Sephiroth killed him.
Minor Injury Overreaction: He shouts at Cloud for scuffing his Giuseppe brand suit with his Buster Sword.
Nepotism: He's both President Shinra's son and vice president. Barret doesn't call him Rufus "Ain't-Nepotism-a-Bitch" Shinra for nothing.
Not So Above It All: Although Rufus comes across as one of the few Only Sane Man's that work for Shinra Inc, it seems that even he is prone to having some... questionable judgment at times. Like how Heidegger mentions that Sephiroth's coffee preferences remain unknown, Rufus reacts with horror. Or how he decides to invite a disguised Cloud on board his ship to, unbeknownst to him, assassinate him, allows Cloud to bring along any of his friends, and even is willing to lend them some uniforms so they don't stand out. And when Heidegger of all people asks if that's really a good idea, he reassures him that nothing could possibly go wrong. While he does get angry that Heidegger decided to "Live Wark" Cloud and Co.'s battle on the ship rather than trying to capture them or their allies, he still doesn't make the connection that Cloud is Thunderhead and that the intruders got on board because he gave Cloud a bunch of uniforms and permission to bring his friends aboard.
Pragmatic Villainy: When compared to his father in particular and his company in general, Rufus is practically the Only Sane Man. He explicitly tells Heidegger off for his penchant for overkill.
Sawed-Off Shotgun: Fights with a double-barreled shotgun during his fight with Cloud.
Shotguns Are Just Better: As stated above he uses a double-barreled shotgun to fend off Cloud in their fight, and manages to get a couple of good shots on him too.
Surrounded by Idiots: He fully acknowledges that his company is run by morons, particularly regarding his Uncle Palmer's Space Program.
Cloud: Your family's weird.
Rufus: You have no idea.
Uncertain Doom: His death during the Diamond Weapon attack is played straight, but his survival in the original game's sequels throws whether he actually died into question.
Villainous Breakdown: Has a brief one in Episode 27 when the cannon initially does not fire on the Sapphire Weapon, the first time he ever loses his cool.
Villains Want Mercy: In Episode 27, when his initial attempts to blow up the Sapphire Weapon fail due to Heidegger's incompetence, Rufus loses his composure and starts audibly panicking, culminating him whining afraid about how he doesn't want to die to a failure like his father. Right as he says that, the cannon fires killing the Weapon and completely eliminating the threat.
Who's Laughing Now?: Episode 26 has him reveling in the fact that he, and not his father, found the Promised Land.

Reeve Tuesti

"As the head of Urban Development, this is the most counterproductive situation imaginable!"

Voiced by: Lanipator

The Executive Chief Director of the Urban Development Department, and the only high-ranked member of Shinra Inc. with notable morals and common sense.

Adaptational Heroism: Not that he was evil in the original source material to begin with, but via Cait Sith, he genuinely throws his lot with AVALANCHE by episode 24, when in canon he only started doing that after the events of the Northern Crater. In fact, his lines during his betrayal come off less as blackmailing and more reluctant and desperate in this version, and in his monologue, it turns out he already experienced the rude awakening long before his canon counterpart did, possibly as late as the Sector 7 plate incident. In general, he trusts AVALANCHE from the get-go.
Affluent Ascetic: Despite being the lowest on the totem pole among the execs, he's STILL an executive, and likely is still richer than most Midgardians, and yet he still takes the bus to work and eats at a food stand like a regular worker. It speaks a lot about his stronger connection to the people than his fellows.
Anti-Villain: He technically works for an evil company, but is also the only executive with morals. He's simply powerless to do anything to stop the others. So far, the most villainous thing he did was giving intel to the TURKs to allow them to find the team in Gongana.
Butt-Monkey: Completely disrespected by his peers and Scarlet had sex with him specifically to get more fuel to insult him with.
Establishing Character Moment: His protests to Shinra that his plan to eradicate AVALANCHE is the dumbest plan he's ever heard of.
Evil Counterpart: Not exactly "evil", but he is one for Cloud. Both often act as the moral voice of reason in their respective groups, and are the subjects of ridicule among their peers. Also, his relationship with Scarlet clearly reflects Cloud's own relationship with Tifa. The two hit it off spectacularly when they first meet while Reeve is Cait Sith.
The Heart: Being the only executive chief director with any morals and commons sense, he's this by default among the other directors... not that they ever actually listen to him.
Ignored Expert: Repeatedly points out how Shinra's spending habbits are financially bad ideas, but nobody listens.
Men Don't Cry: Averted. Reeve isn't afraid to admit that he cried when Shinra killed everyone in Sector 7. The others laugh at him for it.
Scarlet: THAT'S RIGHT! I HAD SEX WITH REEVE!
Heidegger: Did he cry during that too?
No, You: When Heidegger told him that he missed the meeting on what to do with AVALANCHE:
Heidegger: Oh, I'm sorry, Reeve, but we were just being men of action, while you were busy making that bonsai tree in your office your wife.
Reeve: I'll make YOU my wife, you son of a—
One-Person Birthday Party: Episode 16 reveals that he has a recipe for a one person birthday cake.
Only Sane Man: Much like Cloud, Reeve sees a bit of a flaw in his leader's well-intended attack. He correctly deduces that it's some random idea Heidigger spit-balled before no one called him out on it. Later, he spends an entire meeting calling out all of his fellow board members' insane business decisions and personality deficiencies and how they're costing the company billions.
Pragmatic Villainy: Played with. He does have moral objections with the company's actions, but no one in his line of work cares about morality. So he spends his time trying to appeal to their business sense... which also doesn't work out for him.
Punch-Clock Villain: "I stood and cried as I saw thousands of innocent lives perish. Why must I work in such an evil empire when my heart beats for justice?"^noteExcerpt from his journal
Shaped Like Itself: He struggles to find something insane enough to compare his bosses' city-smashing plan to and ends up going with this trope:
Reeve: Okay, okay, I'll use a metaphor. It's like you're trying to make an omelette...BY DROPPING AN ENTIRE SECTION OF THE CITY ON TOP OF ANOTHER SECTION OF THE CITY!!!
Sole Survivor: With Rufus's survival put into question, Reeve is the only surviving Shinra executive
Surrounded by Idiots: Nobody respects him, and his coworkers are either idiots, sociopaths, or both.
Throw the Dog a Bone: He gets control of the Space Program budget after Shinra realizes how Palmer's been wasting money.
- A much bigger one during the Raid on Midgar: Despite being restrained by security, via Cait Sith, he's able to hack into the ShintraNet and call out to the citizens (mostly of the slums) to revolt against Shinra. While it fails to empower his attack on the Proud Clod, it's implied that he was able to successfully instigate an uprising that destroyed Shinra's powerbase now that every other exec is dead.
Token Good Teammate: While Shinra and all those associated with him are pretty evil, Reeve takes the time to call out his superior for such a devastating plan.

Heidegger

"Now why would they challenge such a practical plan, Reeve?"

Voiced by: Ty "Aramek" Konzak

The Executive Chief Director of the Public Security Department and Head of Social Media who seems to think that violence is the best solution for anything.

Ax-Crazy: According to Reeve, this comes out when his attempts to bribe people are unsuccessful. After Rufus reprimands him for failing to apprehend AVALANCHE Heidegger is seen assaulting a random passerby to take out his frustrations.
Beard of Evil: Sports a large black beard and is one of the nastier members of Shinra.
Character Death: Dies with Scarlet after he activates the Proud Clod's self-destruct.
The Dragon: To President Shinra, although he loses the position under Rufus. He effectively becomes Scarlet's later in the story, which ends very badly for both of them.
Dumbass Has a Point: Despite his outright insane problem solving tactics, episode 14 shows he doesn't think it's a good idea to invite people he and Rufus have never met onto their boat, especially since Rufus also plans on giving said group spare military and naval uniforms so they can blend in with the crowd. That said, he loses any points when Rufus discovers that Heidegger found out about Cloud and company when they were fighting in the hold, but instead of trying to capture them he makes several posts about it to social media.
Evil Counterpart: Barret's. Both are large, aggressive men (with beards) who serve as the muscle for their respective groups, have very short tempers, and tend to resort to violence as a first solution. But while Barret has good reason to be like that, Heidegger is just a thug with enough money and political power to get away with his crimes.
Murder Is the Best Solution: He is the one who suggested dropping the section of the city just to get AVALANCHE. It's later revealed that when Shinra's usual plan to bribe witnesses, judges, and police officers to overlook their crimes doesn't work, Heidegger's response is to assault the person who refused, causing new bribes to be issued. Reeve calls this the "Assault Spiral".
No Celebrities Were Harmed: His voice sounds like it was styled after Jim Cummings.
There Is No Kill Like Overkill:
- Reeve calls the plan to destroy Sector 7 (dropping the Sector 7 Plate onto the slums below) something Heidegger spitballed without being called on it. He's not wrong, considering...
- He advises blowing up the entire west continent just to kill Sephiroth. Unlike his father, however, Rufus shuts this plan down immediately.
Too Dumb to Live: He has no idea how to pilot the Proud Clod, and kills himself and Scarlet by activating its self-destruct sequence.
Totally Radical: He considers himself savvy with internet culture, especially memes, but doesn't quite get it. He becomes so invested in this that the first thing he complains about after Rufus is presumably killed is the Shintranet being down.

Scarlet Jade Quistis

"Funny, I could have said the same about you a few weeks ago."

Voiced by: Amber Lee Connors (ShudoRanmaru)

The "Baroness" of the Weapons Development Department.

Adaptational Wimp: In the original game, Scarlet is able to take many hits from Tifa during their Sissy Fight. Here, Tifa knocks her off the cannon with one punch. Then again, when you think about it...
Adaptational Villainy: Scarlet's far eviller here than in canon, seeking to usurp control of Shinra from Rufus and take over the world — a fact she barely even bothers hiding. With Hojo going rogue and Rufus wanting to save the planet, she effectively becomes the main Shinra opponent for the endgame.
All Women Are Lustful: Just about everything she says comes with a Double Entendre.
Awesome, but Impractical: Has a thing for building massive, needlessly complex weapons that serve no practical purpose. Reeve criticizes that Upper Junon's giant cannon is powerful and top of the line, but being locked to only one direction is its most glaring flaw.
Bad Boss: She hits one of her own mooks for saying they're framing Barret and Dyne. The other mooks react in horror and she clarifies that he's new.
The Baroness: By her own admission. She even wants it to be her title once she takes over the world.
Big Bad Wannabe: Despite being eviler and more ambitious than her canon counterpart, it's clear she's out of her league against Sephiroth and Hojo. Even President Shinra outdid her with the Sector 7 incident.
Bullying a Dragon: She really should not have talked down to Tifa...
The Caligula: Her plan involves various insane reforms such that, as Cait Sith points out, society could no longer function. She's too greedy to care.
Character Death: Dies with Heidegger after the latter activates the Proud Clod's self-destruct.
Disproportionate Retribution: Her response to the meltdown at the Corel reactor is to destroy the village built next to it and frame the survivors as terrorists, rather than conduct an actual investigation and admit that Shinra fucked up, as doing such a thing would create dissent against Shinra's monopoly. This is why Barret went into the terrorism business.
Drunk with Power: Once Rufus is presumed dead, Scarlet seizes control and launches into a few speeches about the authoritarian dictatorship she plans to institute. It's so authoritarian that, as Cait Sith points out, society would come to a grinding halt and be unable to function. She doesn't care.
Dystopia Justifies the Means: She wants to Take Over the World and pass laws that do nothing but make it worse place for everyone For the Evulz.
Evil Counterpart: Scarlet is Tifa's on the Shinra board of directors, being the sexy, manipulative lady member of the team. However, while Tifa does sincerely care about her friends under it all and doesn't intentionally manipulate Cloud with her sex appeal, Scarlet has no redeeming qualities and once literally slept with Reeve just so she could mock him for it. The "evil" gets more pronounced as Tifa undergoes Character Development while Scarlet stays the exact same.
Evil Is Hammy: Not nearly as hammy as Palmer or Hojo, but Miss Connors still appears to be having a bit of fun in this role.
The Hero Doesn't Kill the Villainess: Because she dies from Heidegger activating the Proud Clod's self-destruct, Cloud and party are at best incidental in her death.
Incoming Ham: Her rather loud Noblewoman's Laugh tends to be the giveaway for when she's about to enter the scene.
Insistent Terminology: Scarlet is not the Executive, but the Baroness of Weapons Development.
Made of Iron: In Episode 27, Tifa punches her off the Mako cannon very high in the air, yet by Episode 28 she's fine with only a concussion to mention.
Noblewoman's Laugh: Starting from episode 17 onwards, she starts to laugh in that manner (comparable to Karen Kanzuki's), and it really annoys Tseng.
Rich Bitch: She's an executive for Shinra, so this is guaranteed. Seen in full force in episode 27, where she her lines towards Tifa are nothing but contempt for the latter being from the slums.
The Starscream: Episode 26 reveals Scarlet plans on taking Shinra from Rufus, she's too transparent about it though.
Upper-Class Twit: She is too likely to carry out her Stupid Evil deeds without thinking about how those deeds could hurt her or her plans.
- She had Corel razed because of a problem at its Mako reactor, unknowing and uncaring that the man hurt the most by it would lead a terrorist organization against her and Shinra.
- Her constant abuse of Reeve (including having sex with him to mock him for later) was part of why Cait Sith was so eager to help the protagonists.
- She was lucky she left Episode 27 with only a concussion; Tifa could have (and had every right to) frag the bitch for all that she pulled.
- Putting Heidegger at the Proud Clod's controls in Episode 31 is where her luck runs out, as he gets it to blow and take both of them with it.
The Vamp:
- Had sex with Reeve just so she could have the opportunity to mock his performance during a board meeting.
- If Barret is to be believed, she tried to proposition him in Corel but was turned down due to Barret not wanting to cheat on his dying wife. It should be noted that hearing that Barret was married did not deter Scarlet's desire for a tryst in the slightest.

Palmer Q. Shinra

"Aww, but I wanna go to space! I wanna I wanna I wanna I wanna I wanna!"

Voiced by: hbi2k

The "Executive Chief Director of Space 'Akkisition' and All the Cool Space Stuff". He's the least competent executive due to his weird character. He is also the former President Shinra's cousin and uncle of Rufus.

Cloud Cuckoolander: Palmer is basically the Space Core in human form. His "job" is "Executive Chief Director of Space 'Akkisition' and All The Cool Space Stuff", and he apparently thinks you can buy space by burning money. Weirdest of all, he seems to honestly think the world is flat...despite theoretically running "all the cool space stuff".
Death by Adaptation: In canon, it is never confirmed if he died at the end since last time he is heard from is during the rocket launch in an attempt to destroy the meteor. Here, he gets his head cut off by the Tiny Bronco's propellers during the segment of Rufus attempting to take it from Cid.
Insane Troll Logic: Burnt billions of gil thinking it would let him buy pieces of space. Also believes the world is flat and that you can take a propeller-lifted aircraft into space to prove it.
Malaproper: Though he tries to be eloquent, Palmer can't string his words together properly.
Manchild: Throws a tantrum when the President decides he shouldn't be handling money.
Nepotism: Given Palmer's behavior, it's not a stretch to think he's only in his position because he's the President's cousin.
Off with His Head!: Courtesy of being hit into the Tiny Bronco in Episode 21. His severed head is later taken by Red XIII as a snack and later dropped into the ocean. His headless corpse is later seen during a Shinra boardroom meeting, randomly spurting blood and being treated by Heidegger and Rufus as if it was talking. Nobody comments on this.
Pointy-Haired Boss: According to Shera, Palmer took over the Space Program after Cid's failed launch of the Shinra 26 four years before the start of the series and basically ran it into its current defunct state.
Related in the Adaptation: He has no familial relationship to the Shinras in the canon games to speak of.
Sidetracked by the Analogy: His reaction to his cousin/boss's death.
The Unfought: Whereas he's fought as an actual boss in canon, here he bails only to get smacked into the Tiny Bronco, then promptly decapitated.

Doctor Hojo

https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/hojo_0.png

"Well, I've been preparing our latest 'subject' for... experimentation."

Voiced by: Edwyn Tiong

The Executive Chief Director of the Science Department, who is willing to violate any and every ethical standard in the name of science, including human experimentation. He's also shamelessly upfront about a particular fetish of his.

Adaptational Villainy: The Abridged version of Hojo manages to be even worse than his canon counterpart (and that's saying a lot!). But, at the very least, there was no indication that the canon Hojo forced species to interbreed because he was into bestiality or that he potentially raped Ifalna. Abridged Hojo hints that he may have had his way with Ifalna (or subjected her to his fetish) and we can assume that she wasn't willing.
Anticlimax Boss: Despite having many of the qualities of a Climax Boss — confronting him being the focus of a finale, dropping numerous plot revelations, and being the Arch-Enemy of one of the party members — he goes down in a single hit from Vincent. However, aside from one snarky line from Cloud, it isn't played for laughs, and Hojo's death ends up being one of the series' most disturbing moments.
Bestiality Is Depraved: He plans to breed Aerith with Red XIII, and is very turned on about it.
Chewing the Scenery: He's a massive Large Ham, to the point that the screen shakes and then drowns in color.
Chick Magnet: Subverted. When he appears in Episode 15, he's surrounded by women in bikinis that he plays up as his charm...till one of the girls asks for their pay. He did, however, end up marrying Lucrecia, with said wife agreeing out of either genuine affection or support for his plans for their unborn son.
Creepy High-Pitched Voice: His shrill, nasal voice is instantly recognizable and really emphasizes his creepy nature.
Defeat Equals Explosion: His Helletic form exploding is a transition to his Lifeform form in the original game, but since the latter fight is cut, the explosion signals his death.
Expy: Partially one of Brock from Pokémon The 'Bridged Series. Both are obsessed with breeding and are treated with absolute disgust by nearly everyone who meets them. Except Hojo has made it into his job and also does it For Science!.
Evil Is Petty: Hojo reveals that he called Cloud a failure and encouraged his misconception that he was a failed experiment purely to be a dick.
Fantastic Racism: Has to be this trope if he goes out of his way to personally describe Ifalna as "that subhumanoid lover of [Professor Gast's]", more than how he usually speaks of experiments or just other people in general.
Fetish: His obsession with breeding random creatures with one another. While filming them. Though given how he refers to his Helletic Hojo form as him becoming his fetish, he might be talking about the Body Horror abominations his breeding program creates as much as the breeding program itself.
Giggling Villain: Seemingly half of his screen time consists of high-pitched snickering. Fittingly, this is how he goes out.
Greater-Scope Villain: Hojo is eventually revealed to be either directly or indirectly responsible for nearly everything bad that's happened in the series, ranging from the entire Sephiroth crisis to Cloud's identity issues. Notably, even after Hojo is defeated, Vincent primarily considers defeating Sephiroth to be putting an end to Hojo's twisted legacy.
Vincent: You...You started all of this.
I Banged Your Mom: Implies that he may have done this to Ifalna, if not subjected her to his fetish, during a conversation with Aerith. Cloud cuts the vacation short the instant he hears this. The Season 4 finale reveals he had a rather possessive attitude toward Ifalna and considered her a prized specimen, so one shudders to think of the horrors she suffered while in his "care.":
Knight of Cerebus: Hojo is certainly this throughout the entire original game, but here he initially takes backseat to Sephiroth, who is far more malicious than his canon self. His crimes, while disgusting, are mostly played for black humor at first, especially with regard to his "fetish." However, as Season 4 progresses, he gets treated far more seriously and becomes just as much as a Knight of Cerebus as his canon self, if not moreso.
Large Ham: Hojo loves his Motive Rants, that's for sure.
Luke, I Am Your Father: As in canon, he reveals that he's Sephiroth's father just before his boss battle.
Mad Scientist: But of course. His experiments are what cause the plot of the game.
Mr. Exposition: During Hojo's appearances in the final third of the series, he usually stops to explain the plot and clarify mysteries, which makes sense since he's behind it all and basically patting himself on the back.
Murder the Hypotenuse: His reason for murdering Vincent.
No Celebrities Were Harmed: Edwyn Tiong channels John Kasir, voice of the Crypt Keeper from Tales from the Crypt, in his performance as Hojo.
One-Winged Angel: He takes on an alarmingly grotesque form (Helletic Hojo) for his fight against the heroes, which all of them treat as the freakiest thing they've ever seen. Averted with his Lifeform Hojo phase, which is skipped.
Revenge: At the end of the fourth season, Hojo reveals he murdered Gast, stole his research, and abducted Ifalna, Gast's wife, and Aerith, their daughter, to experiment upon in return for Gast running away with Ifalna, whom he viewed as his specimen, thereby ruining his experiment.
Soft-Spoken Sadist: When acting as Mr. Exposition and essentially bragging about his crimes against nature, he becomes far more subdued and chilling, dropping the evil laughter entirely.
Super Breeding Program: Most of his "experiments" are forcing test subject of different species, including humans, cetra, and animals, to interbreed with one another in hope of creating new and powerful organisms, and simply because it is his Fetish.
Surrounded by Idiots: Refers to the other Shinra executives as a "group of neanderthals".
The Unfettered: There is nothing Hojo won't do if he thinks it will further his twisted research. Even his own life doesn't matter.
Walking Spoiler: Although this fact doesn't become evident until later in the story.

The Turks

Shinra's covert ops division.

Demoted to Extra: Barring the party's brief encounter with Tseng in the Temple of the Ancients, the Turks become non-entities after the Wutai subplot. This is due to the Huge Materia subplot, where most of their Disc 2 appearances occur, being heavily compressed, and the sunken Gelnika confrontation being skipped, at least as of the end of Season 4. Initially, their final appearance in the original game during the return to Midgar is seemingly skipped, with the party proceeding directly to the boss that proceeds the Turks, but it's actually moved and recontextualized as a peaceful meeting with them expressing remorse for their actions under Shinra.
Heel–Face Turn: In their final appearance, the Turks have turned over a new leaf, expressing remorse for what they've done under Shinra, but also knowing they have a long way to go before they can ever make up for what they've done. They even make their favor to Cait Sith of acquiring all but Cloud's ultimate weapons^note on the house. While Tseng is absent from the meeting, it also applies to him.

Tseng

"Now, if I'm not mistaken, you have... a minute before you die? Have a nice day."

Voiced by: KaiserNeko

The leader of the Turks.

Actually Pretty Funny: Legitimately finds Elena's pun about Rude being rude to be funny.
Bad Liar: He turns out to be quite poor at dodging questions.
Elena: How do you think Sephiroth takes his coffee, by the way?
Cloud: Wait, you guys are hunting down Sephiroth?
Tseng: Sephiroth? Who's Sephiroth?! SCATTER!
Beleaguered Assistant: He's clearly chafing in the presence of Scarlet, definitely frustrated with her delusions of grandeur and self-importance. Hence why he completely agrees with Cait Sith's reasoning for remaining with Cloud's party despite having betrayed them at Gold Saucer.
The Comically Serious: It doesn't get much more comically serious then announcing when your laughter is going to start and stop.
Faux Affably Evil: Is polite to the party while saying they only have a minute to live after slapping Aerith and leaves by saying "Have a nice day," right before Sector 7 falls.
Flat Joy: His "laughter" sounds more like the dying screams of a goat.
No Celebrities Were Harmed: Tseng sounds like Alan Rickman, particularly from his role as Hans Gruber in Die Hard.
Uncertain Doom: With Icicle Inn skipped over, and thus the scene of Elena confronting Cloud, we get no confirmation if he survived being stabbed by Sephiroth at the Temple as made clear in the original Japanese script and revealed in Advent Children, or he dies like the mistranslation had most people believe. He's later revealed to have indeed survived, now running an ASMR fanfic-reading podcast, but he's never encountered again by AVALANCHE.
Un Evil Laugh: Scarlet comments that his laugh sounds like a dying penguin.
Would Hit a Girl: Slaps Aerith across the face when told by Cloud not to lay a finger on her.

Reno

"So what you're saying is... because of the awful falafel, I became unlawfully awful?"

Voiced by: Takahata101

The redheaded member of the Turks.

Butt-Monkey: Anytime Reno shows up on screen, something goes wrong for him. In order:
- His attempt at capturing Aerith fails miserably when he gets easily distracted by his men pointing out how no one trusts him since the falafel incident.
- When he fights against Cloud, Tifa punches his pelvis so hard it shatters and requires him to limp off in pain.
- He ends up needing surgery a few days later, where his doctor informs him that his one testicle went all over the place and the other is just plain dead.
- He ends up running into Tifa again who is very quick to remind him of what happened last time. Not helping matters is when he is forced to run away when Rude refuses to fight Tifa.
- When he is off-duty in Wutai, a drunken Reno is forced to help out Cloud against his will. Don Corneo even takes the time to point out his lack of a second testicle.
- While holding Marlene hostage, she promptly pulls a gun and starts shooting him.
Cloud Cuckoolanders Minder: It's his job to be this for Aerith, and boy does he hate it when she wanders off.
Disabled in the Adaptation: Tifa permanently injures his testicles, which obviously didn't happened in the original game.
Enemy Mine: Very reluctantly pulls one with Cloud in Episode 22 to save Yuffie and Elena from Don Corneo. He does seem to enjoy the chance to kick Don Corneo off a cliff though.
Gag Penis: By his claim, anyway, until Tifa destroys half of it.
Groin Attack: Tifa shatters his pelvis in a single blow during their battle. He... tries to walk it off, only to require surgery days later. Even afterwards, he apparently only has one testicle left which he doesn't seem very pleased to hear anyone talk about.
Heel Realization:
- Reno has a minor one that's Played for Laughs when he finds out how falafel incident has affected his public standing. Just as he's about to rethink his life, he realizes Aerith escaped under his watch.
- Played more seriously in the movie, when he, Rude, and Elena meet with AVALANCHE again after the fall of Shinra to give them their strongest weapons, expressing remorse for everything they've done under Shinra, and know that just being sorry alone won't be enough to make up for what they did.
Noodle Incident: Reno isn't trusted to handle Aerith by himself after something involving a falafel stand.^note
Not Hyperbole: Reno's claim in Episode 7 that Tifa "destroyed half of my enormous dick" is shown to not entirely be exaggeration in Episode 13 due to the need for surgery. One testicle was shot all over the place and the other destroyed outright.
Screw This, I'm Outta Here: His reaction when Rude refuses to fight Tifa in episode 18.
This Is Gonna Suck: His reaction when he meets Tifa in episode 18.

Rude

"No. We're going up."

Voiced by: Marc Swint

The bald member of the Turks.

Cloud Cuckoolanders Minder: He seems to play this role for Elena, from reminding her that she doesn't need to get everyone coffee now that she's a Turk to stopping her from spilling the beans to Cloud when they meet in Wutai. Odds are that he was her supervisor when she was an intern.
Elena: Ah! Like we would tell you that we're here on a mission looking for-
Rude: VACATION! We're here on a vacation.
Cool Shades: Wears them even at night.
I Need to Go Iron My Dog: Mumbles something about searching for Sephiroth and turns to leave when pressed to fight Tifa.
Only Sane Man: Thus far, the only member of the Turks (and very nearly the entirety of the parody) not to have any eccentric or unusual character traits.
- That is, until The Movie. After Shinra is stopped and the Turks lose their jobs, Rude's developed an addiction to an extremly complex card game.
  "I've collected so many shiny Xehanorts..."
Race Lift: Invoked. In the original game, Rude is designed to look like a Latino (he was based on BJJ fighters). Here, he's depicted as a Scary Black Man and is voiced by an African-American to boot.
Scary Black Man: Unlike his compatriots, Rude is actually quite intimidating.
The Stoic: Remains cool and collected at all times...except when he has to put up with Elena.
Villainous Crush: Just like in the game, Rude has a crush on Tifa and can't even bring himself to fight back against her, choosing instead to walk away.

Elena

"Yes, sir! How do you think Sephiroth takes his coffee, by the way?"

Voiced by: Morgan Berry

The Turks' former intern who gets brought on to replace Reno while he's...recovering.

Affably Evil: Extremely friendly to the party.
Cannot Keep a Secret: Lets slip that Reno is undergoing surgery and that the Turks are looking for Sephiroth without giving it another thought. She also explains the entire story behind why Don Corneo is in Wutai in seconds with no prompting the instant she sees Cloud.
Cloud Cuckoo Lander: Maybe not to the extent of Aerith, but she doesn't quite understand that she's no longer an intern and doesn't need to get everyone coffee.
The Ditz: In addition to the Cloud Cuckoo Lander tendencies listed above, she goes the wrong way when trying to make a break from the Mythril Mines.
Genki Girl: She's an upbeat and energetic Perky Female Minion. Basically, Yuffie's counterpart in the Turks.
Loose Lips: Spills the beans constantly.
No Celebrities Were Harmed: Her voice is most likely an impersonation of Jenny Slate.
Perky Female Minion: Upbeat and energetic enough to rile up Rude.

Other antagonists

Don Corneo

"Would you look at the spread I have today? Which flavor shall I partake in?"

Voiced by: Tomamoto

A criminal leader from Midgar's Sector 6's Wall Market. He gave Shinra information about AVALANCHE's basement.

Depraved Bisexual:
- Why Cloud's attempt at an Unsettling Gender-Reveal fails.
  Cloud: I'm a guy.
  Don Corneo: ...Even better!
- He also calls Reno cute, but seems to think the "one testicle" deal is a turnoff. Neither of these comment endear him to Reno in the slightest.
Dirty Old Man: One of the main points of his character. He's a pervert and a Depraved Bisexual.
Disney Villain Death: Reno lets him fall off a cliff after he mentions seeing only one testicle. Subverted in that he doesn't die, though judging from how in-pain he sounds he probably wishes otherwise.
Fat Bastard: The other main point of his character. He's a fat pervert and a fat Depraved Bisexual.
Heel Realization: Played for Laughs. After Tifa opens up to Yuffie about what happened to her father and her own troubled past, he starts to break down and mention he too suffered similarly...and then Rude throws a shuriken into his head and Reno drops him off a cliff.
Strange Minds Think Alike: Like Aerith, he thinks Cloud's name is beautiful.

Dyne

"But the coal, man!"

Voiced by: Jason Marnocha

Barret's coal-obsessed former friend, and Marlene's biological father. Barret thought that he died after falling into a deep crevice during Shinra's slaughter of North Corel, but it later turns out that he survived. However, he also became a little crazy after watching his home town burned to the ground...

And Your Little Dog, Too!: Claims he is going to continue to kill every "man, woman, child, and dog" if not stopped by Barret. Unfortunately, this is probably the worst possible thing he could have said to Barret, who promptly fatally wounds him.
Arm Cannon: Just like Barret, he had the same operation to graft a gun to his arm after both of their hands were shot off.
Cargo Ship: In-Universe; Dyne has a bizarre fixation on coal, to the point that every other line of dialogue he speaks has coal in it somewhere. So much so that when he's Driven to Madness, he eats coal, worships it as his "mistress", proclaims that he can hear the voice of coal itself compelling him to kill, and even calls his gun-arm a "coal gun." You'd almost think Jason Marnocha was getting paid every time he said "coal".
Deep South: After he goes off the deep end, Dyne's accent changes noticeably, making him sound like the villain in a western movie. It would be Played for Laughs, if not for how utterly deranged the man's become.
Defeat Equals Explosion: For no apparent reason other than to show he is really dead and not faking it or able to come back from his defeat, he explodes after dropping off of a cliff.
Dies Differently in Adaptation: While Dyne was also Driven to Suicide in the original game, this version also exploded upon impact.
Disappeared Dad: He is this for Marlene, believed to have died during Shinra's raid on Corel.
Disney Villain Death: He kills himself by dropping himself off a cliff. And exploding.
Driven to Madness: He goes from an ordinary enough guy to a psychotic gunman after seeing Shinra use his own coal-driven livelihood to burn his hometown to the ground.
Driven to Suicide: After Barret beats him, Dyne realizes he has nothing else to live for and throws himself off a cliff.
Evil Former Friend: He was once Barret's best friend before the destruction of his hometown turned him into a murderous psychopath.
Freudian Excuse: His reason for going on an insane killing spree is given a little more clarity than in the game: With Shinra burning Corel to the ground for no reason over a Mako Reactor failure, and the rest of the world senselessly squandering the planet's resources, Dyne chose to act like the terrorist Scarlet said he was, figuring that he didn't need a reason either.
Knight of Cerebus: Outside of his weird fixation on coal, he's almost never played for laughs after his Sanity Slippage and his madness is way more creepy and Nightmare Fuel-inducing than funny.
Made of Iron: He not only survives a fall into a deep crevice (albeit with a noticeable limp afterwards), but also somehow takes a direct hit from Barret's grenade launcher with minimal injuries, as Barret points out. Despite this, Cloud is certain he's dead when he falls into another crevice and is engulfed in a fiery explosion.
Offing the Offspring: Like in the game, Dyne is so crazy he's thinking of killing Marlene so she can be with her mother. Luckily Barrett stops him before he gets anywhere near her.
Precision F-Strike: Remarkably, in a series where everyone uses the F-word on a semi-regular basis (albeit with a Sound-Effect Bleep), he's the only character who says "Don't fuck up" completely uncensored.
Roaring Rampage of Revenge: Instead of specifically targeting Shinra for the destruction of his home, Dyne just kills indiscriminately. After all, if Shinra had no reason for its actions, why should he have one?
These Hands Have Killed: Just like the game, he realizes his hands are too stained with blood to ever hold his daughter again.
Woobie, Destroyer of Worlds: Shinra destroyed everyone and everything he cared about. It drove him insane and he retaliated by senselessly attacking people at random.

The Tankceratops

https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/ff7ma_tankceratops.jpg

"I SHOULD BE AN ACTION FIGURE!"

Voiced by: Antfish

A weird monster created by the fallout of the explosion of Gongana's reactor. Spends its time between fighting the party, trying to have an action figure in its likeness, and advertising its brand of cereal.

Adaptation Name Change: It's called Heavy Tank in the original game.
Ascended Extra: Downplayed, as it remains a minor character who basically only exists to serve as a Brick Joke. However, since the original Heavy Tank is a random encounter that can only be found in an optional place, it's still a huge improvement. It even ends up playing a minor role helping the party leave the Gold Saucer after the rail car broke.
Badass in Distress: Dio has had it captured between its last appearance and episode 23 to serve as his arena's champion. At the end however, Tifa busts it out thanks to her admiration of it back at Gongaga, and she to use it in the place of a broken cable car for the party to leave Gold Saucer.
Heel–Face Turn: In its first two appearances, it is shown fighting the party as a random encounter in Gongana. But after Tifa frees it from Dio's arena, it helps the team leave Gold Saucer.
Large Ham: It comes hand-in-hand with having No Indoor Voice.
Merchandise-Driven: Shinra created an In-Universe TV show and cereal based on it. Yuffie is seen wearing Tankceratops souvenirs while in Gold Saucer.
Ninja Pirate Zombie Robot: It's a dinosaur... that's also a TANK!
No Indoor Voice: IT SHOUTS ALL ITS LINES!
Villains Out Shopping: The third time it's seen, it's shown passing by in Gongana, while saying that the its cereal is PART OF A BALANCED BREAKFAST. Said cereal contains lead and directly led to the death of a child though.

The Materia Keeper

"Tremble in fear... for I am... the MATERIA KEEPER!"

Voiced by: Kellen Goff

A monster that has slumbered for countless millennium under Mount Nibel. When Cloud's party accidentally stumble across him, it announces to them its intention to lay waste on the world.

Adaptational Wimp: The original Materia Keeper is notorious for providing one of Disk 1's toughest boss fights, and using Vincent's Limit Break on it is actually a very bad idea as it will absorb his fire-based attack. Here, Werewolf!Vincent alone is able to defeat it very easily.
Alien Blood: It has green blood, as shown when Werewolf!Vincent brutally slaughters him offscreen.
Big Bad Wannabe: It thinks it's the Ancient Evil Final Boss... ...It isn't.
The Comically Serious: It makes a grandiose speech about the destruction its about to unleash on the world, as if it was the Final Boss of a JRPG, but Cloud completely brushes it off as unimportant, much to its irritation. It loses this trait seconds before its death as its final words are an undignified "WHAT THE F***!?"
Eaten Alive: By Werewolf!Vincent.
Gory Discretion Shot: We're spared the details of his death, but according to Cloud's and Tifa's expressions, it's quite gruesome. Since it involves Werewolf!Vincent presumably eating it alive, it's probably for the best.
We Hardly Knew Ye: He dies roughly one minute after his introduction.
The Worf Effect: It builds itself up as a mighty foe, but Vincent makes short work of it once he transforms into his Werewolf form.

The Weapons

"(Kaiju roar)

Five biomechanical Kaiju originally residing in the Northern Crater that awaken when the Planet is in serious danger. There are five total: Ultimate, Sapphire, Diamond, Emerald, and Ruby.

Adaptational Heroism: Ultimate Weapon if not all the weapons (Ultimate is the only one to show it though). When the party chases down Ultimate with the intent to beat it, Ultimate tells them it has no intent on fighting them at it only fights those threatening the planet and sees the party as saviors.
Adaptational Intelligence: They are more capable of discerning which humans are threats to the Planet, and which are acting as its saviors.
Anti-Villain: This is what they are beyond being mere monsters in this canon, because they, or at least Ultimate, are capable of observing the humans that have otherwise caused as much harm to the Planet as Sephiroth has, and they have judged AVALANCHE as worthy saviors.
Dies Differently in Adaptation: Rather than being defeated in battle, Ultimate commits suicide by crash near Cosmo Canyon after rewarding AVALANCHE's determination and goodness with Cloud's strongest weapon.
Expy Coexistence: In-universe and out, Ultimate serves as an Expy to Bahamut, being a draconic creature with similar roles, such as being Physical Gods that protect the world, serving as spokesperson for his fellows, and judging the heroes' worthiness and rewarding them with something powerful that will aid them in their quest. Lampshaded by Barret and Red, being the Bahamut fanboys that they are:
Red: Which Bahamut is that one!?
Barret: (charging up his Limit Break) EAT THIS YOU FAKE-ASS BAHAMUT MOTHERF**KAAAAAA!!!
Gaia's Vengeance: What their primary purpose is. Unlike in the game, though, they are more able to distinguish the good humans from the bad.
"Get Back Here!" Boss: As usual, Ultimate. In this case, however, it's because he doesn't want to fight AVALANCHE, as he knows they're trying to save the Planet as well.
Infinity +1 Sword: Ultimate possesses Cloud's, Ultima Weapon, hence why the Turks weren't able to procure his.
Kaiju: And thus is why attempting to fight one is a bad idea most of the time.
Spanner in the Works: Sapphire's beam allows Tifa to escape death by gas chamber, and Diamond's barrage possibly killing Rufus kickstarts the chain of events that lead to Shinra's collapse.
Spared by the Adaptation: Implied. Per Word of God, all the weapons were defeated in canon. It's stated by Cait Sith in the Grand Finale that the party never defeated Emerald and Ruby.
The Unfought: Only Ultimate and Ruby are ever actually fought by the party, and the latter was merely by accident. Diamond is never challenged, and justifiably so, Sapphire is killed by the Junon cannon as per the original, and they barely avoided fighting Emerald. When Cait Sith points out that Ruby and Emerald are still on the loose, Barret insists that ALL the Weapons have been defeated.

Others

Zack Fair

https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/ff7ma_zack.jpg

"Hey uhhh hey Cloud...? Don't do that whole planting the bomb thing... That's a bad."

Voiced by: NateWantsToBattle

A strange, yet familiar voice that occasionally speaks to Cloud.

Broken Pedestal: Regardless of how Cloud remembered it, Zack used to work with Sephiroth, and respected him greatly and so would not have been too thrilled when the guy pulled a Face–Heel Turn.
Chivalrous Pervert: He did sincerely love Aerith, but he also wrote back to his parents about how great her butt was (which Aerith thought was sweet). He's also impressed by Tifa, but more because of her strength than her looks.
Zack: Her?? Dang! She was a badass! Really into dolphins, but hey, we all got our things...
Foreshadowing: Other than Cloud's beginning name as "Blond Zack", everything Cloud thinks he remembers is based on what Zack does. When Cloud encounters Sephiroth while trying to sink Shinra's ship they're on, the latter doesn't know who he is.
Hearing Voices: Inverted. He is the voice, and only Cloud can hear him. Somehow, though, through her final telepathic conversation, Aerith can also interact with him, though we don't get to hear what they actually say to each other, only imply that they have spoken to each other. He vanishes once Cloud has comes to terms with his real past.
Insistent Terminology: Occasionally reminds Cloud that he's not just a SOLDIER, he's a SOLDIER First Class, the highest rank of SOLDIER there is. In Episode 12, he says that Cloud isn't just in SOLDIER, but that he is SOLDIER.
Jerkass: As Cloud's Whole Episode Flashback in the Season 2 premiere is actually from Zack's perspective, and the faceless soldier Ramirez is actually Cloud before he absorbed Zack's memories and personality, his rather callous interactions with said soldier paint Zack in this light. This could just be Cloud's subconscious opinion of himself however, as despite encouraging Cloud's SOLDIER delusions Zack's present day interactions with him as a voice in his head are a good deal more friendly.
- Ultimately averted. The real flashback in Episode 29, and the final flashback in the movie, show that Zack was supportive of Cloud, and tried to encourage him to talk to Tifa. Moreover, Zack respected Cloud not because he was strong, but for the reasons he wanted to be strong: They both wanted strength so that they could protect others, not lord over them. It becomes clear that the Zack in Cloud's head is only facilitating the latter's attitude as a safety buffer to prevent Cloud's mind from completely collapsing if ever he knew the truth, until Cloud was ready to face and accept it.
Killed Mid-Sentence: During the flashback in The Movie, while saying fighting for someone else is what makes him a SOLDIER, but also what makes him... something that he doesn't finish (likely "a hero" as Cloud later says).
The Knights Who Say "Squee!": Already an accomplished warrior, what with being a first class SOLDIER and all, Zack has quite the idol in Sephiroth and is in full-on adoring fanboy mode whenever he is near him.
Large Ham: If episode 11 is anything to go by, he was quite a Keet during his mission with Sephiroth.
The Lost Lenore: Male example; though she doesn't realize it until Episode 18, he's this to Aerith.
Nice Guy: When we finally meet the real Zack in The Movie, we see he's a supportive friend who tried to help Cloud in any way he could, and joined SOLDIER because he, like Cloud, sincerely wanted to protect people. He also genuinely loved Aerith and was excited to re-unite with her after five years.
Nice Job Breaking It, Hero: All the flashbacks between Cloud and Sephiroth is actually Cloud projecting Zack into himself. This heavily implies that Zack accidentally caused Sephiroth's Sanity Slippage and noted how one of the chambers is named "Jenova".
O.O.C. Is Serious Business: A downplayed, but understandable, version occurs during the meeting with Sephiroth in Episode 20. While in past appearances Zack is often laid back and casual during conversations. When confronted with Sephiroth's question about if there was another reason Cloud was hunting him, Zack says "Not at all" in a more subdued and serious tone compared to his past appearances.
- Again in Episode 25, where his voice shows some concern when a mind-controlled Cloud is about to bring the Buster Sword down on Aerith.
- At least two times, when Cloud's mind was on the verge of collapse, his words become a Broken Record of saying "you did nothing wrong".
Posthumous Character: He's only really there due to Cloud absorbing his memories and personality.
Shipper on Deck: Subtle, but it seems he's trying to push Cloud into pairing up with Aerith. Given his past relationship with her, and his current status as a voice in Cloud's head, Zack might be doing it for himself. However, in the real flashback in Episode 29, he seemed to subtly push Cloud, who was hiding his identity out of shame for not getting into SOLDIER, to step up and talk to Tifa at the entrance of Nibelheim.
Spirit Advisor: Zack's final conversation with Cloud in Episode 29 implies that Zack isn't some personality aspect in Cloud's head, he's the actual spirit of Zack who remained on the mortal plane attached to Cloud. He only leaves once Cloud's mind is fully repaired.
Surprisingly Sudden Death: His death, while telegraphed, is shocking for how sudden it is and the complete lack of any music at all.
Toxic Friend Influence: Whatever his intentions, Zack keeps encouraging Cloud's delusions of being in SOLDIER, leading to Cloud making more of an ass of himself than usual. However, it's later revealed that he truly believed in Cloud's potential and was only giving him little nudges. It's implied his encouragement of Cloud's delusions was a partial safety buffer so that Cloud can slowly learn the truth on his own, and ideally prevent his psyche from collapsing should he find out in the worst way like in the Crater.
Undignified Death: After his last stand, he's unceremoniously shot before a Shinra MP riddles him with bullets just to make sure he's dead.
Unseen No More: After being The Voice in the first three seasons, Zack finally shows up in the flashbacks during Season 4.
The Voice: He's only heard by Cloud through his inner monologues.
Walking Spoiler: And if you haven't played the game, consider yourself lucky.

AVALANCHE

Barret's anti-Shinra resistance group, of which he is the leader.

Bookcase Passage: Their hideout is under Tifa's bar and the entrance is hidden by a pinball machine. Cloud lampshades this by saying that literally anyone who wants to play pinball would find it (Wedge was forced to join AVALANCHE because of this), and this indeed proves to be their undoing.
Faction Motto: "There will an avalanche of justice!"
Theme Naming: They aren't the only resistance named after a natural disaster; There's also TSUNAMI, BLIZZARD, HURRICANE, SANDSTORM, and QUAKE. According to Barret, QUAKE are all a bunch of assholes. Apparently, they all also have mottos that are puns on their names, with TSUNAMI's being "Bringing a wave of liberty".

Biggs

Jessie, was the alley dentist really worth what you saved?

Voiced by: Chris "Kirbopher" Niosi

All Men Are Perverts: Biggs claims he loves the sound of Jessie's voice because it sounds like she's giving him a blowjob.
Dying Declaration of Love: Well, lust. Right before he dies he asks Cloud to tell Jessie he finds her voice hot (because it sounds like she's giving him a BJ).
If I Do Not Return: As he's dying, Biggs asks Cloud to relay the above mentioned comment on her voice.
Teeny Weenie: Once Cloud relays Biggs' Dying Declaration of Lust to her, Jessie responded bemusedly over the fact that Biggs thought his penis is big enough for her to swallow while she dies laughing.

Wedge

My ass! Pooping will now be a trial!

Voiced by: Chris Zito

He Knows Too Much: Non-lethal variation. Wedge joined AVALANCHE by accident after stumbling into their underground base via the secret pinball machine entrance.
Rump Roast: Claims "pooping will be a trial" after getting his butt singed in the escape from Shinra's factory explosion.
Too Dumb to Live: Brought an unloaded gun on a Mako reactor bombing mission. He later loads it and immediately sets it off, shooting the pinball machine.

Jessie

*unintelligible*

Voiced by: Jesse "Nowacking" Nowack

Die Laughing: Jessie dies as she and Cloud share a laugh over Biggs' comment that he loved how her voice makes it sound like she's blowing him, retorting that his dick isn't nearly large enough for that.
Disabled in the Adaptation: This Jessie has Speech Impediment thanks to a botched dental operation, which isn't present in canon.
Intelligible Unintelligible: Jessie speaks like she has a sock in her mouth due to an "alley dentist" appointment. The other characters can somewhat understand her, though Cloud mistakes her saying "My foot is stuck!" for something dirtier.

Others

Marlene

"Aren't you a little too old to be asking stupid questions?"

Voiced by: Corinne "Megami33" Sudberg

Barret's adopted little daughter who is equipped with a gun.

Adaptational Badass: This version of Marlene is capable of using firearms.
Age Lift: Her age was doubled from four in the original game to eight, a fact which gets a Lampshade at one point.
Defiant Captive: Her reaction after being held hostage by the Turks? Pull out a gun and shoot at them.
Girls with Guns: Barret raised her capable of using firearms.
Harmful to Minors: Her entire life, not that she minds. From the loss of her parents, to living in a bar, being given a gun, and now she's being babysat by a stoner before being held hostage by the Turks.
Little Miss Badass: She has a gun, can run a bar, and knows how to negotiate drug profits. Godo Kisaragi, who can go One-Winged Angel, would rather not tussle with her when she threatened him offscreen for stealing some of Elmyra's stash.
Little Miss Snarker: Having Barret as a father and being around Tifa certainly sharpened her wits.
Older Than She Looks: She's stated to be eight years old. Cloud claims she looks four.
Pity the Kidnapper: Much like in the game, the Turks try holding her hostage to enforce the heroes' cooperation... Only for Marlene to reveal she smuggled in her gun and start shooting.

Tom Lastastaname

https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/ff7ma_tom.jpg

"Moogles... do they deserve full citizenship, and will marriage be next?"

Voiced by: Lyle Rath

An anchorman who provides provides news across Midgar.

Abled in the Adaptation: The news anchor from the game is seen with glasses.
Ascended Extra: He's a minor Recurring Character, whereas the Midgar News Anchor only appeared in the AVALANCHE Elaborate Underground Base beneath Tifa's 7th Heaven bar and wasn't even focused on.
Everyone Has Standards: He's a news anchor who works for Shinra, but he nonetheless acknowledges how pointless the capture of AVALANCHE is when there are giant monsters on the loose and a giant meteor heading for the Earth.
Fantastic Racism: Given his right-wing pundit-esque delivery of the "Moogle citizenship question" headline, Tom is very likely prejudiced against them.
Kent Brockman News: Provides reports about the exploits of AVALANCHE and events regarding Shinra to the public through news broadcast. Subverted that, unlike his boss, he knows that AVALANCHE's capture and would-be execution mean absolutely nothing compared to the Weapons and Meteor.
Named by the Adaptation: The news reporter in the original game is nameless and only appeared in a single scene.
Sarcasm Mode: When his boss insists on covering AVALANCHE's capture, Tom sarcastically celebrates then insists the giant flying monsters are way more important than a group of ordinary people.
Screw This, I'm Outta Here: When doing a report on the Weapons, Tom has a breakdown about how he was reporting about a week after they appeared and saying there couldn't be any bigger news. Upon finding out about Meteor, he up and leaves.
You Have GOT to Be Kidding Me!: As he's giving the report on the Weapons, he stops and insists someone's fucking with him.

Elmyra Gainsborough

"And I am an oak tree! Spreading my roots and nurturing the Lifestream."

Voiced by: Sandra Espinoza

The foster mother of Aerith.

Adaptational Angst Downgrade: No mention is ever made of her deceased husband from canon.
Adaptational Comic Relief: She's a very serious character in the original game, having lost her husband before adopting Aerith and is wary of Cloud for his (alleged) SOLDIER background. Here she's a hippie parent and her marijuana addiction is constantly Played for Laughs.
Bootstrapped Theme: "Flowers Blooming In The Church" becomes her theme, since it's given a stoner's vibe to it. The fact that it plays when Yuffie and her father get stoned to be able to be calm enough to reconcile imply that the weed they're smoking was what Godo stole from her garden.
Cloud Cuckoolander: No doubt she's been a terrible influence on Aerith.
Granola Girl: She hits all the notes, what with making a meal out of orange peels, plus the not-so-implied use of hallucinogens.
Hippie Parents: She talks like one, and the first mention of the Lifestream comes from her.
Insistent Terminology: They're herbal inhalants, not weed.
O.O.C. Is Serious Business: Offscreen, since she's apparently trying to shake down Godo Kisaragi, with Marlene's help, for 50 gil after he stole some of stuff from her garden.
The Stoner: Every joke that comes from her is of her not-so-responsible marijuana use.
Unreliable Narrator: Her description of how she adopted Aerith is suspect at best.

Ifalna

"We are the last of the Cetras! Destined to bring a chosen few to the Promise Land!"

Voiced by: Jessica Calvello

Aerith's biological mother.

Died in Your Arms Tonight: Towards Aerith and Elmyra's, though Ifalna was able to entrust her daughter to the latter.
Go Out with a Smile: According to Elmyra, Ifalna was so hyped on wanting to have some of her "sweet kush" before dying.
Missing Mom: Aerith's, much like in the original game.
Rape as Backstory: Hojo's dialogues suggest he subjected Ifalna to act out his fetishes.
Take Care of the Kids: Much like in canon, she entrusted Aerith to Elmyra in her last breath (her exact Last Words are uncertain thanks to Elmyra being a very Unreliable Narrator).

Zangan

"Zangan's fists are the most powerful in all of the world!!"

Voiced by: Kamran Nikhad

The Master of the Fist. He was Tifa's martial arts teacher who has a bad habit of naming his moves after innuendos.

Adaptational Origin Connection: In canon he and Cid are strangers. Here he's one of Cid's idols in the BDSM community.
Cloud Cuckoolander: He thinks more with his fists than his head.
Death by Adaptation: In canon, he was one of the survivors in Nibelheim and he carried Tifa into Midgar for medical attention, departing to never be seen again. At least he lived longer than running into a burning building and dying.
Zangan: Now stand back! For ZANGAN'S FISTS SHALL SAAAVE THE DAAAY!
Cloud (out of narration): Zangan died immediately.
Eccentric Mentor: Despite his quirks he was the World's Best Warrior of his time and was able to train Tifa into a formidable fighter.
Innocent Innuendo: Zangan's Dungeon of Fisting... and that's not naming some of Tifa's Limit Break names. Though based on Cid's comments about him, it may not have been all that innocent.
Too Dumb to Live: He ran into a burning building, thinking that he could punch the fire out. He couldn't.

Priscilla

"Feck 'em!"

Voiced by: EileMonty

The young leader of TSUNAMI.

Adaptational Badass: Instead of just an ordinary kid who is friends with a dolphin, she's a young Rebel Leader fighting back against Shinra.
Adaptational Jerkass: She seems to be a well-adjusted kid in the original. Here she's a vindictive Little Miss Snarker.
Ascended Extra: In the original she's just there to give the Shiva materia to the party after they save her from Bottomswell and then help Cloud infiltrate upper Junon. Here, she's much more involved in helping the party to get on Rufus' ship due to being the Rebel Leader of another Eco-Terrorist group.
A Child Shall Lead Them: To Cloud's disbelief, she leads TSUNAMI despite her very young age.
From the Mouths of Babes: She's around Marlene's age but is prone to Precision F-Strike.
Little Miss Snarker: She could engage the group in Snark-to-Snark Combat and hold her own.
Rebel Leader: She's The Leader of TSUNAMI, another environmental resistance group like AVALANCHE.
Refusal of the Call: Barret calls her for help while he and Tifa were captured in Junon in Season 4 but, sour after the botched assassination attempt on Rufus when they first met in Season 2, she simply tosses her phone away and says "Feck 'em".

Dio

"I truly put the "man" in manager!"

Voiced by: SungWon Cho

The owner and manager of the Gold Saucer, a world-famous amusement park. Not to be confused with a certain other Dio.

Bad Boss: Zigzagged. On one hand, he rightfully claims he just hired Cait Sith after the latter lied and told Cloud he's worked at the Gold Saucer for years, but Cloud chalks it up to Dio never remembering who his employees are. On the other hand, his reactions when finding a bunch of employees and security guards shot dead is to say that it's a good thing he got them for cheap, then crack a joke at their expense a few seconds later. He also establishes a lootbox system which, by the time of Episode 23, is a complete failure and ruins him financially, though he takes it pretty well.
Can't Take Criticism: His response to Cloud having complaints about the Gold Saucer? Siccing giant security robots on him, Aerith, and Cait Sith. Though to be fair, he also thinks they're the ones who killed his guards.
Heel Realization: After the failure of his new business model (the Loot Saucers), he ends up ruined. This makes him ponder on his life choices, and he decides to leave the Gold Saucer and travel the world.
Jerk with a Heart of Gold: On one hand, his reaction when finding a bunch of his guards dead is to say that it's a good thing he got them for cheap from Rufus. He also immediately refuses to give Cloud a fair chance to explain himself, even though the employees were killed with a firearm and neither Cloud, Cait Sith or Aerith have that kind of weapon on themselves. He later has Cloud thrown in Corel Prison and it's implied that it's at least partly because Cloud complained about the Gold Saucer. On the other hand, after Cloud and company get out of Corel Prison after winning the Chocobo Race and killing Dyne (the real murderer), Dio lets bygones be bygones and gives them a full pardon, a coupon for Gold Sauce, his own personal Dune Buggy, and info on where Sephiroth went.
Riches to Rags: He tries a new business model called the Loot Saucers, but its utter failure ends up ruining him.
Walking Shirtless Scene: Dio's only form of "clothing" is a pair of speedos.

Bugenhagen

"It's so very nice to meet you, Cloud. Did you know that you're named after visible masses of water droplets suspended in the air?"

Voiced by: David "Shockdingo" Dixon

Red's adoptive grandfather. A world-famous astronomer and expert on the Planet, and one of the elders of Cosmo Canyon.

A Death in the Limelight: As in canon, Bugenhagen dies of old age in the movie after returning from the City of the Ancients, at least able to say goodbye to Red in his dying moments.
Hippie Parents Or Hippie Teacher: Gives off this vibe.
Lovable Sex Maniac: Doesn't mind Red's "abundant sexual exploits". According to him, everyone in Cosmo Canyon practices free love.
Mr. Exposition: Explains the Lifestream to the party, followed by exactly what the stakes regarding Shinra are.
No Celebrities Were Harmed: His voice and interest in astronomy seem like an allusion to Neil deGrasse Tyson.
The Stoner: Just like everyone else who knows about the Lifestream.

Shera

"I know on the outside, our relationship looks pretty dysfunctional. But behind closed doors... We make it work."

Voiced by: Elsie Lovelock

A scientist who lives with Cid. He aborted the launch of the rocket that would take him into space to save her life when she stayed behind to inspect a faulty oxygen tank.

Adaptational Intelligence: Played with. Like the original, her fussiness over an oxygen tank is kept intact, given its integral role in her and Cid's characters, but unlike the original, her reason for being aboard the rocket in the present is not over the same silly fussiness, but to redirect the rocket away from Meteor. The fact that the tank WAS faulty enough to explode anyway did not even cross her mind until it actually did.
Brains and Bondage: Her cute and nerdy exterior masks a merciless dominatrix.
Extreme Doormat: During the day, she appears to be this for Cid. At night, however...
No Celebrities Were Harmed: Her voice sounds very similar to Kate Micucci, specifically her performance as Velma in "Scooby Doo."
Super-Strength: Somehow, being a dom has given her enough strength to lift the exploded remains of oxygen tank #8 that Cloud (somehow, despite the Mako and Jenova cells juicing him up) can't.
Whip of Dominance: She's revealed to secretly be a dominatrix by the fact she owns a whip and has frequent S&M sessions where she uses it on Cid in their basement.

Godo Kisaragi

"Oh shit, you know Yuffie? God, I love that kid! She's like a daughter to me."

Voiced by: SungWon Cho

Yuffie's father, and the head of Wutai, who allowed Shinra's influence to turn it into a tourist attraction. Despite supposedly being Wutai's greatest warrior, he's a total deadbeat.

Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass: He may be a consistently stoned slacker, but he's still capable of going One-Winged Angel into his asura form, and, despite being beyond rusty from the war, he was still powerful enough to be dangerous enough to Yuffie, herself made capable through her journey with AVALANCHE. So much so that the only way the two didn't end up killing each other was for both of them (and Cloud and Tifa) to get so high they actually calm down enough to have a straight heart-to-heart.
Jerkass Realization: Once he and Yuffie calm down enough to talk...via getting high off their asses, he does admit he was wrong to turn Wutai into a tourist attraction and then slack off. Yuffie does concede to the fact that, while not the best solution, it did end up saving many lives compared to if he continued to rebel. The two promptly make up and she even brings Godo along on the Highwind, bonding over their shared immature antics.
Like a Daughter to Me: How he views Yuffie, as stated in the quote. But as Yuffie indignantly points out afterward, she IS his daughter. As such, this is a rare example of this trope being portrayed negatively, as it's another sign of his Parental Neglect.
O.O.C. Is Serious Business: Completely snaps out of his baked state when Yuffie herself snaps and says his biker jacket looks bad on him.
Parental Neglect: His reaction upon seeing Yuffie is to wonder whether he forgot to pick her up from ninja practice, which as Yuffie points out, was eleven years ago. He even forgets her name at times, accidentally calling her "Rikku"
Really Gets Around: Mentions that he may have children other than Yuffie, but he doesn't know about any of them.
Sarcasm-Blind: When Cloud says Yuffie wouldn't be too bad if she had "a positive male role model in her life", he doesn't realize Cloud was calling him out for being a bad father to Yuffie.
Recessive Super Genes: Apparently, his asura form "skips a generation", so Yuffie doesn't get that power.
The Slacker: Hits Yuffie up for gil, which he uses to tune up his motorcycle... which he never drives because he's fighting multiple DUIs.
The Stoner: Mistakes Cloud for a drug customer, and talks as though he's stoned. After he reconciles with Yuffie, he comes along aboard the Highwind, just for the name alone.
The Thing That Would Not Leave: Downplayed. After being taken aboard the Highwind, while Cid is begruding in having him aboard because of its name, he's still there a few hours later, to Cid' irritation. Godo's excuse?
Godo: I forgot where I live.

Choco-Bill

"The key is inbreeding"

Voiced by: Lewis Lovhaug

Owner of the Chocobo Farm near the Mythril Mines and breeder of chocobos, mostly for dancing. Is a little enthusiastic about the process of it.

Creature-Breeding Mechanic: His entire role is to be a lampshade at the very mechanic.
Composite Character: He basically takes over his grandson's role as the person the party interacts with in both getting the Chocobo Lure materia and breeding the birds.
Minnesota Nice: Linkara gets to play up his Minnesota accent big time.
Nice Guy: Enthusiasm about the breeding process and general bluntness aside, Bill's a good samaritan, freely administering an Elixir to the poisoned Tifa and being endlessly patient with Cloud fumbling about the process of catching a Chocobo. Also, he^noteoriginally his grandson doesn't charge the party a single Gil, let alone 2000, in exchange for the Chocobo Lure materia.
Too Much Information: Is a little too into describing the process of breeding chocobos together. He also didn't have to describe Tifa's recovery from being poisoned by the Midgar Zolom as being "in pure vomit-soaked agony for a few hours", however much it was true.

Lucrecia

"Vincent! How long has it been since that fateful day?"

Voiced by: Elsie Lovelock

Hojo's lover and birth mother of Sephiroth. Vincent fell in love with her and Hojo experimented on him in retribution. She's sealed herself away as penitence.

It's All My Fault: She feels such guilt for hurting Vincent and giving birth to Sephiroth that she has willingly sealed herself in a crystal in an underwater cavern. While she is never shown leaving, she is comforted knowing Vincent has forgiven her and promises to help destroy Sephiorth.
Love Triangle: With Vincent and Hojo.
My Greatest Failure: She deeply regrets giving birth to Sephiroth and aligning with Hojo. Her mind is eased somewhat when Vincent promises to help eliminate Sephiroth once and for all.
No Accounting for Taste: Seriously, this woman willingly agreed to have a child with Hojo. And by his account, Sephiroth was conceived naturally.
Hojo: Yes...I am his FATHER!
Cait Sith: Well, he definitely didn't inherit your looks.
Cloud: His father? Then that means you...
Vincent: And Lucrecia...
Hojo: GOT BIZAAAAAY!!!
Purple Prose: The way she and Vincent talk when they're around one another.
Lucrecia: Oh Vincent, you are owed every star in the sky for what Hojo and I did to you.
Small Role, Big Impact: Vincent mentions her twice in his back story, and she only appears once in the finale. However, she was involved with the JENOVA Project, gave birth to Sephiroth, and was in a Love Triangle with Hojo and Vincent.
Strange Minds Think Alike: She's just as melodramatic and gothic as Vincent is.

Bahamut

"Hey, what's up? I'm Bahamut!"

Voiced by: Grant Smith

The King of Dragons, and the favorite summon monster of Barret and Red.

Ambiguously Gay: He explicitly calls Sephiroth sexy, and blushes when Red XIII calls him the handsome.
Crutch Character: He believes himself and other summons in general to be this. While he's fine with helping people with monsters, he feels that he and his kin have a limit to their power, but humans will always grow stronger. This is why he believes it's their responsiblity, not his, to save the Planet.
God Is Good: From the very first words out of his mouth, Bahamut proves to be a very chill and friendly dude. He advises the AVALANCHE Time duo (and Cid) like a cool friend.
The Gods Must Be Lazy: Subverted. He refuses to help lend his power against Sephiroth because he feels it should be humans, not the gods, who are better at protecting the Planet, but also because they know Sephiroth is too dangerous of an entity for any of them to tussle with. Considering that Safer Sephiroth effortlessly swats the Materia of the Knights of the Round, the only summon that could have possibly been strong enough to challenge him, Bahamut is very justified in not wanting to take the One-Winged Angel on.
Mythology Gag:
- He serves as the spokesperson for all the summoned monsters, just like his Final Fantasy X incarnation
- Similar to his Final Fantasy self, he provides a way for the party to attain greater power in their quest. Class changes in the original, and directing AVALANCHE to the Knights of the Round materia here. Also, like in I, something related to rodents are given to him as an offering.
Pals with Jesus: He's a dragon god that people can summon if they have the right Materia. He even stays in touch with the other God Summons.
Red XIII: Ooh, what's Ifrit like?? I bet he has anger issues.
Bahamut: Hey, he's getting better.
Power Echoes: Due to the quality of Grant's microphone, there's a clear distance in his voice. It does add to his supernatural nature.
Troll: Implied, since he likely knew that the "trial" that Barret, Red, and Cid had to go through to get to access the Knights of the Round materia was the long process of breeding a gold Chocobo. Downplayed as he did say it was hard (just not that it was inane), it wasn't done to fuck around with them, and the reward was worth all that effort.
Unseen No More: He's finally summoned in the Finale Movie after being gushed on by Barret since Season 2.
Vocal Dissonance: Sounds shockingly friendly and unremarkable for a giant platinum-scaled king of dragons. Doesn't make Megaflare any less destructive.

Characters / Final Fantasy VII: Machinabridged

Main Characters

Antagonists

President Shinra

Rufus (Ain't-Nepotism-a-Bitch) Shinra

Reeve Tuesti

Heidegger

Scarlet Jade Quistis

Palmer Q. Shinra

Doctor Hojo

Tseng

Reno

Rude

Elena

Don Corneo

Dyne

The Tankceratops

The Materia Keeper

The Weapons

Others

Biggs

Wedge

Jessie

Marlene

Tom Lastastaname

Elmyra Gainsborough

Ifalna

Zangan

Priscilla

Dio

Bugenhagen

Shera

Godo Kisaragi

Choco-Bill

Lucrecia

Bahamut

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Characters / Final Fantasy VII: Machinabridged

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Main Characters

Antagonists

President Shinra

Rufus (Ain't-Nepotism-a-Bitch) Shinra

Reeve Tuesti

Heidegger

Scarlet Jade Quistis

Palmer Q. Shinra

Doctor Hojo

Tseng

Reno

Rude

Elena

Don Corneo

Dyne

The Tankceratops

The Materia Keeper

The Weapons

Others

Biggs

Wedge

Jessie

Marlene

Tom Lastastaname

Elmyra Gainsborough

Ifalna

Zangan

Priscilla

Dio

Bugenhagen

Shera

Godo Kisaragi

Choco-Bill

Lucrecia

Bahamut

Previous

Index

Next