Final Fantasy VII: Machinabridged / Awesome

WARNING: Per wiki policy, Spoilers Off applies to Awesome pages. All spoilers are unmarked.

In episode 1, AVALANCHE manages to escape the reactor when the bomb is set to 1 minute unlike the original's 10.
In the fight against the giant robot of episode 3, Tifa delivers THIS gem:
Tifa: YOUR METAL DICK IS MINE, MOTHERF*CKER!!
At the end of episode 3, after Tifa sees Cloud about to fall, he has this to say before falling:
Cloud: Could you do me a solid, and GO F*CK YOURSELF!
In episode 7, during the fight with Reno, Tifa gets a few good ones in.
Tifa: (while Cloud is stuck in Reno's Pyramid ability) Oh god...! Barret, get him out of that! I'll take out Prince Dyes-His-Hair.
Reno: (laughs) Please, babe; the curtains match the carpet.
Tifa: Oh, you dye your dick too.
Reno: Aha, no. I actually shave, sugartits.
Tifa: Ahhhh, that makes one of us.
Reno: Oh, what's the matter? 'Fraid of hurting your vagina?
Tifa: Naw. (Limit Break activates) BUT I'LL HURT YOURS! (uses Beat Rush and punches Reno square in the dick, making him gasp in pain as his x-ray shows her breaking his pelvis)
Reno: (now crying) You destroyed half of my enormous dick...
Tifa: (snickers) Yeah, okay.
When Barret is busting Aerith and Red XIII out of the cell Hojo has put them in for his depraved experiments in Episode 9, what he says is as awesome as it is hammy.
Barret: THERE WILL BE NO ABOMINATIONS CREATED ON THIS DAY!
President Shinra's chilling explanation of why he's not worried about the bad press from destroying two whole sections of the city.
Tifa tells Aerith to do her a solid and let the grownups handle it. She agrees, saying the oldest looking should take care of it, basically burning Tifa, who is actually younger than Aerith.
Rufus is pretty awesome in his own right during his first appearance.
- Mention has to be made of the absolute shutdown he makes to Cloud trying to insult him after he reveals his intent to frame the protagonists for murdering his father, instead of going through the overly elaborate revenge scheme against Sephiroth that his father would have done.
  Cloud: Oh no, no. You son of a bitch!
  Rufus: Oh, you are wrong, sir! I'm no son of a bitch, I'm the heir to a bastard!
- And right before his duel with Cloud...
  Cloud: So your boys are gonna be here in five minutes?
  Rufus: Indeed.
  Cloud: Perfect. I only need two to kick your ass.
  Rufus: (not impressed) And I only need ONE to put a hole in yours.
  Cloud: Wait, so when you say "hole"— (Rufus produces a shotgun) ...oh. (Rufus shoots Cloud)
Cloud spilling the imminent shutdown of Palmer's beloved space program to get him to distract Rufus.
At the end of Season 1, Tifa flippantly remarks how she'll go along with Cloud because "he feels safest when he's next to [her]". What follows is an epic verbal beatdown from Cloud ten episodes in the making:
Cloud: (seethingly calm) You wanna say that again, Tifa?
Tifa: Excuse me?
Barret: Uh-oh.
Cloud: Yeah. Repeat what you just said about me feeling safe around you?
Tifa: Well... I mean, yeah. C-Cloud, we've been friends since we were kids. I've always had your back.
Cloud: Really? Had my back? (chuckles) That's funny. Question: Did you have my back when I didn't want to join AVALANCHE?
Tifa: (stammering) Well, uh... No, but, um...
Cloud: That's right! You didn't! And what did you do again? (sarcastic) Hmm, was it talk to me like an adult? (chuckles) Nooo. Hmm, was it asking me for help like a friend would? Ohhh, I remember now! "Four dudes at a minimum!" Am I remembering your threat correctly?!
Tifa: O-Okay, okay, hold on! I admit, I might have stepped over that line a little, alright? But—
Cloud: A LITTLE?! Implying prison rape is a little to you?! Oh, Tifa! You are some piece of work! Honestly, I don't know why I'm surprised you're this way! You've always been like this! Maybe the reason you can't act like a grown-up is because you can't get over the fact that YOUR FATHER WAS MURDERED!
(everyone stands in stunned silence)
Red XIII: Holy shit.
- Cut to the file select screen, which creates a new file to signify the end of the season: as opposed to Cloud and Tifa's usual faces that are shown on the video thumbnails/victory screen/save files (Cloud typically has calm smiles, mild disgust, and in the case of him being dressed like a girl, utter bewilderment, and Tifa has a smug smile, outrage, and rolling her eyes in annoyance), Cloud looks absolutely pissed while Tifa is still in shock from Cloud finally growing a pair, a reversal from their usual personalities. And Barret's usual place is replaced with Aerith smiling evilly as she's realized she's got Cloud all to herself now.
- The YouTube release of the video is even better and crosses over to Funny Moment. As Barret is thanking the audience and handles plugging duties for other TFS videos, he's barely able to to go through with it, clearly in severe shock of what had just happened.
Near the end of Episode 11's Whole Episode Flashback, Tifa swears vengeance on Sephiroth for killing her father.
Cloud: Is that Sephiroth's sword?
Tifa: Yeah Cloud... it's Sephiroth's sword. And I'm gonna give it to him... RIGHT BETWEEN HIS F*CKING EYES!
In Episode 12, Tifa, after being the butt of the majority of the major jokes of the episode and having to sit through Cloud's Epic Fails, finally hits her breaking point after Cloud insists on forgetting about hunting Chocobos and just fighting the Midgar Zolom despite the fact its been kicking their asses and it's the reason they're hunting Chocobos in the first place and then refusing to own up to Barrett's observation on exactly why Cloud's so obsessed with fighting it.
Cloud: (in response to Barrett) I have no idea what you're talking about.
Tifa: Oh, you are so full of shit.
Cloud: Oh what, Tifa? You think I'm a liar?
Tifa: Oh nooo! That's my nickname, right? Tifa the Liar. So here's one on the house: You're STRONGER than Sephiroth!
Cloud: Thank you! ...Waaait...
Tifa: (now showing sharp teeth) And you NEVER f*ck up! Never, EVER!
Cloud: Okay, Tifa, I get it...
Tifa: And guess what, Cloud? We're gonna die so you can validate your ego! C'mon, guys! Let's all jump headfirst into certain death! Who's with us?!
Barrett: ...So, you're like still lying, right?
Tifa: OF COURSE I'M LYING! IT'S WHAT I DO! Now let's come up with a plan to catch a Chocobo!
- It's so effective that even Aerith, who's basically the only one who consistently sides with Cloud and against Tifa, reluctantly agrees.
- Aerith helping out the aforementioned Zolom with her healing magic, successfully calming it down and ending the fight without violence. Everyone in the team is shocked. It goes to show that she's a lot smarter than she usually acts.
In Episode 13, after Yuffie has led them into Junon Harbor, a town with a Shinra controlled outpost, and Barret is about to place the blame on Cloud, who had allowed her to come along and lead the way:
Yuffie: Wait wait wait wait wait... We're Shinra's most wanted?! AWESOME!!! What're you guys' kill counts at?
Barret: (through grit teeth) About to go up substantially... because once again... Cloud has-
Cloud: (irritated) F**ked up, right? Because it's my fault that the only lead on Sephiroth just happened to be in a military town run by Shinra... 'Cuz it's my fault, right?
(Beat)
Barret: Thank you, Cloud, I now have one rant saved for later.
Episode 14 shows how far Cloud has come when it comes to dealing with Tifa's anger.
Tifa: WAKE UP YOU FUCKING WASTE OF OXYGEN!
Cloud: (yawn) Wark-a-doodle doo to you too bitch.
- The guest appearance of Shiva is pretty cool, compounded by a beautifully powerful sound effect as she casts Diamond Dust and obliterates the JENOVA monster that was giving the party hell a few moments earlier.
At the end of Episode 15, Mystic Pyro Freak scats the entire victory music without ever taking a breath.
In episode 16, Cloud, completely well meaningly, tells Barret to get over the Corel incident. And Barret uses his saved up rant to verbally tear Cloud a new asshole.
Barret: (dangerously calm) Excuse me?
Tifa: And there's Cloud with the f*ckup...
Barret: Cloud? Did you ever stop to consider as to why I never told you to "just get over" Nibelheim?
Cloud: Because you'd rather spend your energies belittling me?
Barret: (absolute livid) NO! Because I am socially conscious enough to not be an inconsiderate prick!
What finally forces Barret to put Dyne down like the mad dog he's become? Not threatening to kill every last man, woman, and child on the planet or even his daughter, Marlene but also threatening to kill every last dog.
Barret: Hey, Dyne. You know what time it is, sucka?
Dyne: 'Scuse me?
Barret: I said "DO YOU KNOW TIME IT IS, SUCKAAAAAA?!"
(Barret one-shots Dyne with his Grenade Bomb Limit Break)
Barret: AVALANCHE time, motherf**ker.
- Just before the fight starts, Dyne delivers this Pre-Mortem One-Liner.
  Dyne: What I'm saying, brother, is that it's time to Dyne with Death.
  Cloud: *clapping* Ohhhh, that's good!
For those who were getting annoyed of Cloud having Lack of Empathy towards Barret's plight and him intentionally lampooning the tragic showdown, it's satisfying that Red of all people makes him shut up with two very painful sounding bites. Also counts as a Funny Moment.
The Tankceratops. Tifa is practically squeeing both times the party fights it.
During the climax of episode 19, Barret finally calls out Red's hatred of all fathers.
Barret: Okay, Red, real talk: You thinking all fathers are terrible people is pretty f***ed up! I'm a father, and I'm a damn good one at that!
Red: So good that you abandoned your child!
Cloud: Ooooh, shit!
Barret: (seething with rage) So you think just because I left Marlene in Midgar, instead of bringing her along this dangerous quest, you think I abandoned her?!
Red: (condescendingly) Well, if the adopted child left in the care of a drug dealer fits...
Barret killing Gi Nattak with a Phoenix Down.
Cloud: Stunned silence
Barret and Red XIII: AVALANCHE time motherf*&#er! (explosion)
After learning of the truth of his father, Red XIII declares that he will fight for the planet in the name of his father.
Red XIII: I'll do it! I'll protect the planet in the name of my dead father!
Seto: (unintelligible) I'm not really dead! I've just been petrified!
Red XIII: I'll fight for Cosmo Canyon! I'll fight for the planet! And I'll fight so that we may all see another day!
In Episode 20, Cloud actually one-shots Lost Number with one limit break. After a Pre-Mortem One-Liner.
Also from the same episode, Aerith, of all people, tells Cloud to "kick his [Sephiroth]'s butt, SOLDIER style." And while it quickly becomes a Negated Moment of Awesome because Sephiroth keeps ignoring him, Cloud does sound badass when threatening Sephiroth.
Sephiroth: Will you be participating in the Reunion?
Cloud: If it's the reunion of my foot in your ass, then good news: I already RSVP'd.
A microscopic one for Shinra staff who recreated Nibelheim. Unlike the original, who just created new identities and histories to populate the town, it's inferred that they TRIED to recreate the actual people who were there at the time of the incident. This is shown by the woman in Cloud's house, whose front in the original was as someone unrelated to him or his mother, who, like the rest of the "townsfolk", would brush Cloud off as a liar when confronted about the incident and prior. Here? It's clear Shinra knows the woman who lived in that house has a son named after a meteorological phenomenon and currently has a special kind of sword. If anything, they probably know about Nibelheim being Cloud's hometown through his record with them as an infantryman. While everything else shows their incompetence, credit where credit is due, they at least seemed to do some research to properly recreate the town.
- Even better? The part about the "blaster sword" could only have come from VERY recent information, given that Cloud never had the Buster Sword until recently.
Episode 20's stinger gives us our first taste of Cid Highwind. The party's about to be complete.
Cid: SHERA! Make some goddamn tea! I'm going to SPAAACE!
Cid's Rousing Speech to Cloud, made even more awesome by the remix of his theme. It's so awesome that one Gilligan Cut later, Cloud is adamant that Cid has to join their team because he's that cool.
Cid: Listen boy, I know you're only 16 years old.
Cloud: Twenty-one, dude.
Cid: But lemme give your 12-year-old brain some life advice: There's gonna be people in your life that'll tell you that your dreams are unattainable. That you should just wear a tie, sit your ass behind a desk and tell the world "I give up". But you don't give up. You get outta your seat, burn that tie, walk up to those people who told you your dream's dead, and you tell them to f**k off.
- And he does when Rufus inadvertently gives him that very offer.
In Episode 22:
- When Tifa hears that Yuffie's been captured she bends the half-foot thick iron bars of the cage to escape and find her. Whether she punched or pried them apart is irrelevant.
- Aerith gets Tifa to inadvertently give a "The Reason You Suck" Speech to herself with a few quiet words, which lets Tifa realize exactly what Yuffie is feeling and reforge their friendship.
In Episode 23:
- Cait Sith reveals Marlene is being held captive by the Turks. Barrett isn't concerned, not because he's apathetic, but because, as the animation shows, Marlene smuggled a gun in and began opening fire on Reno. Marlene herself isn't worried despite being surrounded by the Turks, who are still dangerous despite their varying levels of competence as we saw last episode. The fact that no one but the Turks themselves have a problem with the current setup speaks volumes of how even more dangerous and awesome this little girl is. Red may have had a point in Barret leaving her alone all the time, but this shows Barret can at least afford to do so.
- So how does the party get out of Gold Saucer? Simple: By riding the motherfucking TANKCERATOPS, THAT'S HOW!!!!!

In Episode 25:
- Unlike the game, this version heavily implies that Aerith knew she was going to die, but went ahead anyway to save the world. For an innocent little flower girl, that's a lot of bravery.
- Cloud's response to Sephiroth taunting Cloud over Aerith's death. He makes it clear that he's going to avenge her.
  Cloud: The only thing I'm going to break...is your neck! And I don't care if you can control me, I'm going to get free and take you out myself! And that's a promise that I'm going to keep!
In Episode 26, Cid is a total badass.
- Cid single-handedly destroys Jenova-DEATH in one attack.
  Cid: WELCOME TO EARTH, BITCH!
- It's overshadowed by the above but, probably due to his current no-nonsense attitude after Aerith's murder, Cloud actually attempts to approach the fight strategically. In fact, based on his reaction Cid basically just skipped to the last part of his strategy.
- When the group encounters Rufus Shinra and his cohorts, Cid gets a good clapback at him.
  Rufus: Cid, old boy. How's the unemployment line?
  Cid: Not as long as the shadow of your daddy you've been standing under... ya bitch.
It was most likely a coincidence on Team Four Star's part, but considering Youtube's push towards being "family friendly", Tifa's Cluster F-Bomb during the Shinra execution livestream was very satisfying.
Heidegger: Also, if you could not swear on the stream, that would be great. We're trying to keep this public execution PG.
Tifa: Oh, well in that case: f*ck your breakfast! F*ck your shower! F*ck your suit! F*ck those chairs! F*ck these computers! F*ck these stairs! F*ck this hallway! F*ck this chamber! Oh, and most importantly... F***CK! YOU!
Episode 27 turns the slap fight into a Curb-Stomp Battle, with Tifa giving Scarlet a Megaton Punch that sends the latter falling off the Sister Ray. But not before giving a great threat to Scarlet.
Tifa: (laughs)
Scarlet: Why are you laughing? Stop laughing! I am the only one who laughs!!!
Tifa: (still laughing) I'm sorry, I'm sorry, it's just... it's funny that you think that's what's going to happen.
Scarlet: Yes, that's exactly what-
Tifa: No, shut the f*ck up. This is what's going down; I'm going to beat the f*ck out you so badly, your face will be the new bowl I eat my Tankceratops cereal out of. And yes, your blood will be the milk. But, since I'm such a good girl, I can let you off with that warning... if you tell me where Cloud is.
Scarlet: HOW DARE YOU! (slaps Tifa) I will not be spoken down to by filthy slum gutter trash! (Tifa gives a smirk, coiling her fist) You are in the presence of the Baron—(Tifa uppercuts Scarlet and sends her flying into the water below) AAAAAAAAAAH!
Tifa: Bow down, bitch.
In Episode 28, when Cid can't seem to stop the train from crashing into Corel, Barret tells him in an assuring tone to believe. Believe in what? "AVALANCHE TIME, MOTHERF***ER!" And against all odds, it works!
The Reveal in Episode 29: Cloud was in Nibelheim. And he did take down Sephiroth when Zack and Tifa were out, and no one else could. And Sephiroth has already impaled him with the Masamune! And this was after Cloud shanked him with the Buster Sword earlier from behind.
Sephiroth: (seething) Who the hell do you think you are?!
Cloud: (wounded) ...I'm Cloud! From Nibelheim! AND I'M SOLDIER, DAMN IT!!!
(Sephiroth plummets to his doom)
- How did Cloud do it? He lifted Sephiroth up using the sword he was impaled with and threw it off the ledge with a surprised Sephiroth still holding onto it.
  - This bears repeating. Cloud, at this point an unmodified and barely trained cadet, takes SEP HIR OTH, a man who was genetically modified from before birth with the cells of an Eldritch Abomination, SOLDIER's number one operative, who single-handedly killed a dragon not hours beforehand, and lifts him up off the ground using the sword CURRENTLY STICKING OUT OF HIS CHEST, and tosses him down into the reactor below. Cloud's pecs alone must be the stuff of legend!
- Sephiroth even has a brief This Cannot Be! reaction when he sees Cloud is still kicking. It's one of the few times he's shown as anything but unstoppable, and it was all thanks to a humble cadet.
  - Also, although it's very sad and melancholy, Episode 29 is basically A Day in the Limelight for both Justin Briner and Sarah Anne Williams, who carry 99% on their own. It's a testament to what great actors they are, because they essentially act without a net and pull off all the intended emotional beats perfectly.
Episode 30:
- In canon, Zangan was the sole reason Tifa wasn't turned into a Sephiroth Clone like the rest of the Nibelheim survivors, managing to get her to safety. Obviously impossible here, since Zangan's Death by Adaptation, so how do TFS answer Tifa surviving? She managed to get up and walk away before Hojo and his goons got to her.
- A case of Offscreen Moment of Awesome via Adaptation Distillation. AVALANCHE is actually able to acquire both of the two remaining Huge Materia in the Junon sidequest, meaning they stopped the plane carrying it from escaping to Rocket Town. This forces Shinra to use Mako bomb instead.
- Shera is onboard Shinra No. 26, not because she kept wanting to fuss about tank #8 like in canon, but she was going to attempt to change the rocket's course.
- Turns out that being the dom in her BDSM sessions with Cid has inexplicably made Shera surprisingly strong, able to lift something even Cloud (somehow, despite being juiced up with Mako and Jenova cells) can't lift.
Episode 31
- Cloud's rousing speech that ends with an amazing Pre-Mortem One-Liner.
  Cloud: "Let's make Sephiroth's dream of becoming God... his Final Fantasy.
  - While he is rewarded with that pun/cheesy line by being pelted by tomatoes, as shown by his icon in he save screen and outro, he has a confident smirk behind all the tomatoes in his face, showing he's not bothered by it at all and is proud either way. Cloud definitely emerged from the Lifestream a stronger man.
- Rufus Shinra's last stand against the Diamond Weapon perfectly captures his character on top of not only removing a potential threat for the crew but also indirectly helping them access the Northern Crater to beat Sephiroth.
- Cloud's solution to infiltrate the city? Airdrop, SOLDIER style.
- Earlier in the episode, we have Cait Sith rallying the people of Midgar while speaking as Reeve.
  Cait: But I got news for you, my name's not Cait Sith! (switches to Reeve's voice) It's Reeve Tuesti. Cait Sith is just a robot doll that I made to hide my identity and Mog is my internalized guilt & depression that gets filtered out through sassy one-liners. Just like you. A Midgardian. I wait for the bus at Sector 4, I grab lunch at the Awful Falafel, and I'm a graduate at Midgar U. Go Fighting Moogles. I, uh, I worked for Shinra. Cause I thought I could help people, but I, I was wrong. I realized that I was just another cog in their machine of oppression to keep the people of Midgar down while they fill our pockets and drain out planet. Shinra, now more than ever, is a threat not just to Midgar but the entire world. It's time we rise up! Band together, and stop Shinra once and for all! Because Shinra isn't Midgar! WE ARE MIDGAR!
- Though ultimately, it's Heidigger & Scarlet's combined incompetence that kill them instead of Cait being empowered by the city. Doesn't really take away the fact, though, that Reeve has just instigated a revolution that, with the deaths of all of Shinra's other higher-ups, something better will replace it.
  - Actually Cait Sith may have done more than we thought as his Dice move is a luck based attack and Heidigger pushing the self destruct button was pure luck ... in other words the Dice roll might have manipulated everyone luck so that Heidigger ends up killing himself and Scarlet.
  - Reeve also delivers one last zing against Scarlet. Is it Cheesy? Yes. Is it cathartic? Oh hell yes!
    "Well, Scarlet, looks like your new 'Global Government' is really starting off with... A Bang!"
- After roughly two and a half seasons of being Out of Focus, Vincent gets to shine by gruesomely striking Hojo down in a Single-Stroke Battle. Cloud thinks it's an anticlimax, but since Vincent has that power and has wanted Hojo dead for so long as revenge for what he did to Lucrecia, why not take advantage of it??
  Hojo: Don't you see? It's what I've always wanted: I've become...MY FFFFFFFFETIIIISH!!!
  Vincent: No. You've become your demise. (transforms into Chaos)
  - While it did seem anticlimactic, especially after all the talk Vincent did of wanting to make Hojo suffer, the latter just turned himself into nominee for "greatest affront to all creation" and and it turns him on. Thus, one could argue that Vincent realized nothing he could do would make Hojo suffer and his Single-Stroke Battle was more about being done with it.
  - Notably, Mog is temporarily shocked out of his morose attitude due to how awesome Vincent's transformation is. Made even better if you remember that Chaos was redesigned for Dirge of Cerberus from generic devil figure to "Vincent but with way more jagged demonic elements".
    Cait Sith: (shocked) Unholy kitty litter!
    Mog: He looks SIIICK!!!
The Movie
- Godo Kisaragi may be consistently stoned, lazy, neglectful, and definitely way past his prime, but the fact that he still has his asura form and apparently is still dangerous enough of a challenge to Yuffie, despite being way beyond rusty since the Wutai War, is respectable.
- Also counts as funny, but the fact that Barret, Red, and Cid accomplished the Gold Chocobo breeding and Knights of the Round Materia sidequest in less than 9 hours.
- Ultimate Weapon is given a justified reason for his "Get Back Here!" Boss schtick. Namely, because he doesn't want to fight AVALANCHE, who he deems as saviors rather than threats. But because of their determination to get the sword he possesses that may make them strong enough to defeat Sephiroth, he voices his respect (translated through Red), bequeaths Ultima Weapon to them before falling to his death.
- Cloud showing JENOVA what's what!
  Barret: Did you just launch that bitch into space?
  Cloud: F*cking right I did!
  - Incidentally, the move Cloud used is called "Garyō Tensei", literally "Finishing Touch"
- Tifa's Limit Break, where she unleashes a No-Holds-Barred Beatdown on Bizarro Sephiroth for killing her dad.
  Tifa: This is for my dad! This is for my town! AND THIS IS FOR MY BAR!!!
  (Tifa knocks Bizarro Sephiroth on his ass with a Megaton Punch)
  Yuffie: Holy Stromboli! How'd you lift that bitch up??
  Tifa: RAAAAAGE!!!
- Cid finally joins in Avalanche Time as he, Red and Barret unleash their Limit Breaks on Bizarro Sephiroth simultaneously:
  Red XIII: Tick tock goes the clock!
  Barret: Who’s bringing justice, sucka?
  Cid: Y'all know what time it is!
  Red & Barret: AVALANCHE TIME!
  Cid: MOTHERF*CKERRRRR!
- The party's response to Sephiroth's Humans Are Bastards spiel:
  Sephiroth: Why do you continue to fight? The cruelty of humans needs to be extinguished.
  Cloud: You're right. Humans are cruel. But humans are capable of more than that. They're capable of compassion.
  Tifa: Change.
  Barret: Protecting.
  Yuffie: Learning.
  Red XIII:' Teaching.
  Cait Sith: Helping.
  Vincent: Forgiving.
  Cid: Dreaming.
  Cloud: Humans are capable...of good!
- Just when all seems lost against Safer Sephiroth, the party, beaten within an inch of their lives, are saved by Aerith, summoning Great Gospel, to bring them back to full strength to unleash one last blast of either Holy or Ultima.
  Sephiroth: What?! What did you DO?!
  Cloud: ...Defy destiny. (Casts Ultima)
- The Final Duel between Sephiroth and Cloud.
  Sephiroth: Who the hell... do you think you are?
  (Cloud Omnislashes the fuck out of him, as a flash of Aerith is intercut between the final slash)
  Cloud: I'm Cloud. Never forget that.
- The series ends in the only proper way it can:
  Red, 500 years older: This is the tale of... AVALANCHE TIIIIIME!!!!!!
  Barret-like voice coming from the Midgar ruins: MOTHERFUCKAAAAAA!!

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