Steve Rogers/Captain America
- "Probably too late to go to the bathroom, right?"
- There's something to be said about skinny little Steve Rogers attempting jumping jacks and girl-pushups.
- When presented the challenge of grabbing a flag on a very high flagpole (the reward is a jeep ride back to base with Peggy Carter), something no soldier has managed in over 17 years. The other soldiers scramble all over each other trying to scale the pole, but (pre-Super-Soldier) Rogers outsmarts his stronger squadmates by simply detaching the pole's anchor bolts and letting it fall over, rather than trying to scale it.
- The soldiers' and drill instructor's faces when he pulls it off are priceless. Peggy, on the other hand, is definitely impressed. And although she tries to hide it by pressing her lips together, she's shown with an amused smile on her face by the time they drive off.
- Steve not knowing what "fondue" is, and assuming it is something sexual. The fact that he apparently brings it up with Howard counts, too.Howard Stark: Fondue is just cheese and bread, my friend.
- When they're in Brooklyn, Steve lists off all the places he got beat up as they drive by them, solidifying his status as The Woobie for many viewers.
- Steve chasing after the HYDRA assassin just after he gets his Super-Soldier powers. As this is just after he's gotten his powers, he ends up apologizing all over the chase, as he slams into people and store windows.
- Steve's time playing "Captain America" in a propaganda show is one gigantic moment of funny from the moment Steve appears onstage, wearing the classic Captain America outfit in all its cheesy glory, reading his lines off a script taped to the back of his shield.
Jones: Wait. You know what you're doing?
- But the highlight has to be when the film recreates the iconic image of Cap punching Hitler out◊ by having him throw a poorly-choreographed punch at an actor in a low-quality Hitler costume. And the audience absolutely eats it up, with some kids getting so into it as to yell and warn Cap about "Hitler" sneaking around the stage.
- And this sequence gets a hilarious Call Back when Cap later rescues some prisoners and tells them to clear out while he searches for Bucky.
Steve Rogers: Yeah. I've knocked out Adolf Hitler over 200 times.
- Dum Dum Dugan mouthing "What?" just sells it.
- When Peggy appears in a red dress, Steve seems to forget where her eyes are.
- Steve, to Peggy, when she asks why he doesn't know how to talk to a woman.Steve Rogers: Women aren't exactly lining up to dance with a guy they might step on.
- The improvised bridge over the pit of flame has fallen in and the only way for Steve to get across is to make a superhuman leap! He backs up for all the running start he can get—and then makes a little shake of his head that clearly communicates, "Here goes nothing..."
- During the procedure, Steve looks briefly taken aback when Dr. Erskine called Howard Stark, showing the latter being part of the Project Rebirth. Considering the first time Steve saw Howard's invention is when his Flying Car is Epic Fail, Steve's expression can be interpreted as This Is Gonna Suck.
- Steve doing a USO show for the troops in Italy, and finding that the GIs in the audience are a little different than the kiddies who usually attend his shows.Steve Rogers: How many of you wanna help me sock Ol' Adolf on the jaw? (silence) Okay, I need a volunteer.Random Soldier: I already volunteered! How do you think I got here?
- Before the procedure starts, we have everyone in the lab stopping dead in their tracks when they see Steve for the first time. Peggy's reaction is just a resigned sigh and a "let's just get this over with" expression.
- Peggy firing a gun at Steve's shield, with Rogers responding with a look that says "Why the hell did I kiss that secretary?/That woman is crazy!" look.
Steve: [face still frozen in shock] I have some ideas about the uniform. [hands note to Howard]]
- Howard's expression is equally hilarious.
Howard: [same expression] Whatever you want, pal. [takes note]
- You could just see the relieved anger in Peggy's face afterwards too.
- Another thing: When Peggy first fires the gun the camera switches to Howard, who is using his arm to shield himself.
- And when she approaches Steve afterwards he's still clutching the shield in front of him like he's afraid she'll take another shot at him.
- Peggy's response after Steve tried to explain his kissing moment is Not What It Looks Like.
- When Phillips and Peggy are watching the news reel, Steve pulls out his compass and her picture is on the face. She sheepishly turns away from Phillips' "What the hell?" look.
Col. Chester Phillips
- He gets the lion's share of the Deadpan Snarker lines to the degree that most of his dialogue could end up here.
- Trying to make a point about how someone else should get the Super-Soldier Serum besides Rogers, Colonel Phillips declares you win a war with guts, then throws a dummy grenade among the troops. When Steve throws himself on the grenade, showing he, indeed, has the guts, Phillips can only sourly reply, "He's still skinny."
- When Senator Brandt starts demanding answers for how a HYDRA agent got into the testing area."Great, why don't we start with how a German spy got a ride to my secret installation in your car."
- The best counter ever to HYDRA's motto:HYDRA soldier: CUT OFF ONE HEAD, TWO MORE SHALL-! [Colonel Phillips shoots him with his shotgun]Col. Phillips: [pumps shotgun] Let's go find two more!
- As Red Skull makes his escape on the Valkyrie bomber, Peggy and Phillips commandeer the HYDRA-mobile and use its Nitro Boost to get Steve onto the aircraft before it lifts off. Cue the Now or Never Kiss.
- When one of the news films shows that Steve has a picture of Peggy inside his compass, Phillips give her an amused half-smile.
- Phillips on Erskine considering selecting pre-serum Steve.Col. Phillips: When you brought a 90 pound asthmatic onto my army base, I let it slide. I thought what the hell, he might be useful to you, like a gerbil or something.
- Phillips' "He's making me cry" line regarding Steve. It has everything to do with Tommy Lee Jones' delivery and expression, which is completely deadpan as usual.
- In a Deleted Scene, Philips scolds Steve for blowing off his award ceremony which resulted in Senator Brandt being humiliated— then cracks a smile and says that he deserves a medal just for that.
- His interrogation of Arnim Zola takes the cake... Or is that steak?[Zola nervously studies his cell... thinking "is that blood beneath that operating table...?"]
Col. Phillips: Sit down.
[Phillips puts down a tray of food at a table.]
Zola: What is this?
Col. Phillips: Steak.
Zola: What is in it?
Col. Phillips: Cow.
[Dr. Zola stares at it dubiously.]
Col. Phillips: Doctor, do you realize how hard it is to get a-hold of a prime cut like that out here?
Zola: I don't eat meat.
Col. Phillips: Why not?
Zola: ...It disagrees with me.
Col. Phillips: What about cyanide? Does that give you the "rummbly tummy," too?
- And then Phillips promptly starts eating the steak himself.Zola: Youre trying to intimidate me, Colonel.
Col. Phillips: I brought you dinner?
- On a related note, Phillips' later description of Zola as "my new best friend" when he's debriefing the others.
- And then Phillips promptly starts eating the steak himself.
- Philips giving a speech to the new recruits, and as he says "We are going to win this war because we have the best men", he suddenly pauses and stumbles over the last word when he lays eyes on Rogers, a foot shorter than the other troops and still skinny and scrawny. He then ad-libs "And because they are gonna get better... much better..."
- "Oh look, it's the Star-Spangled Man with a Plan. What is your plan today?" And he follows that up with calling Captain Goddamn America a "chorus girl".
- When Steve gets in a fight with someone who kept disrespecting the army, Bucky steps in and literally kicks the guy's ass◊.
- Steve and Bucky's parting, which doubles as a Heartwarming Moment.Bucky: Don't do anything stupid until I get back.
Steve: How can I? You're taking all the stupid with you.
[Bucky gives Steve one last Man Hug before leaving.]
Bucky: You're a punk.
- This is especially funny because "punk" was...not exactly something most men wanted to be called at the time.note
- Bucky's reunion with Steve. He's never even heard of Super-Soldier Serum and is understandably confused.Steve: "I thought you were dead."
- As they're leaving, the US Army gets the best advertising they could ever hope to get:Bucky: What happened to you?Steve: I joined the Army!
- Bucky's reaction to the Super-Soldier process.
- Bucky, on the future Howling Commandos."See? Told you. They're all idiots."
- Bucky utterly failing to grab Peggy's attention when they first meet."I'm invisible. I-I'm turning into you. It's like a horrible dream!"
- Bucky's reaction to Johann Schmidt's true face:[to Steve, totally serious and terrified] "You don't have one of those, do you?"
- Before jumping onto Zola's train.Bucky: Remember the time I made you ride the Cyclone at Coney Island?Steve: Yeah, and I threw up?Bucky: This isn't payback is it?Steve: Now why would I be doing that?
Dr Abraham Erskine
- Erskine's Blunt "Yes" to Steve's question on whether he is trying to pull a Secret Testof Character by asking him if he wants to kill Nazis.
- After Steve passes the grenade test with flying colours and Phillips can only mutter, "He's still skinny," Erskine has the best smug smirk on his face.
- Erskine proposing a toast to Rogers the night before his procedure. However, he remembers that Rogers can't have any fluids, so he snatches Rogers' glass away and drinks it down for himself.Erskine: No, no. Wait, wait. What I am doing? No, you have procedure tomorrow. No fluids.Steve: All right. We'll drink it after.Erskine: No, I do not have procedure tomorrow. Drink it after? I drink it now.
Steve: Did you save me any of that schnapps?Erskine: ...Not as much as I should have. Sorry.
- And then, just before the procedure is carried out:
- Steve and Erskine.Steve: "Where are you from?"Dr Erskine: "Queens. 73rd Street and Utopia Parkway. ...Before that, Germany."
- Steve gets his first injection for the procedure. "That wasn't so bad." Erskine says, "...That was penicillin."
The Howling Commandos
- Jim Morita's indignant response (with zero accent) when Dum Dum Dugan wonders why they have to rescue a Japanese soldier as well."I'm from Fresno, ace!"
- When Steve comes to rescue the prisoners from their cells, we get this priceless exchange:Jones: Who are you supposed to be?Steve : [awkwardly] I'm...I'm Captain America.Falsworth: I... beg your pardon?
- Keep in mind that Falsworth is British, making his confusion at the name "Captain America" even more hilarious.
- Another moment from Falsworth: When Cap, Bucky and the others area bout to jump onto the train, he warns them to "mind the gap". Any Brit who's ever taken the London Underground will find this hilarious. Doubly funny since "mind the gap" didn't get started for another twenty-plus years!
- Jones and Dernier in the pub. Understanding French turns it into another kind of funny."I will fight until the last one of these bastards will be dead, in chains, or crying like a little baby!""I hope all three!""Me too!"(Everyone looks on in puzzlement)
- "Do you have any idea how to use that thing?" *KA-TESSERACT* "...Okay."
- Howard Stark's hamminess in general, rivaling Col. Phillips' snark.
- The scene where Howard is testing the fragment of the cube Steve took from the HYDRA base:Howard Stark: Emission signature is unusual. Alpha and beta ray neutral, though I doubt Rogers picked up on that. Seems harmless enough; hard to see what all the fuss is about.
[Stark zaps the fragment with electricity, at which point it explodes and hurls him across the room.]
Howard Stark: (beat) Write that down.
- Howard Stark's introduction at the Expo. Not only was it a great Like Father Like (Future) Son moment, but then the flying car spluttering and dying during its presentation and his quick recovery were hilarious!
- Heck, seeing all throughout the film just how alike Howard and Tony are is pretty funny in itself!
- When examining the HYDRA submersible and admitting he has no clue how it works, he starts with "Speaking modestly, I'm the best mechanical engineer in this country".
- As does his future son in Iron Man 2, Howard has very little interest in making good use of the vibranium shield. In his defense, it's very rare metal and said shield is just a single prototype. He eventually gave it to Steve, however.
Johann Schmidt/Red Skull
- Red Skull's first meet with Cap: "Captain America! How exciting! I'm a great fan of your films!" in an obviously-mocking tone.Steve: I can do this all day!
Red Skull: Of course you can! Unfortunately, I am on a VERY TIGHT SCHEDULE!
- When the Skull and Zola are fleeing from their exploding lab, Zola points out that the Skull's escape Triebfluegel only seats one. And right when you think Skull is about to ditch Zola... he simply hands over the keys to his pimped-out HydraMobile. Cue a gleeful Zola driving off.Red Skull: [hands Zola the keys] Not a scratch, Doctor. Not a scratch.
- When Schmidt is being chewed out by the SS officers, he makes a hysterical 'One Two Three' motion with his fingers, pointing at the Nazis, just so he can adjust his death ray properly. All without pausing in his speech. And if you look carefully, you can see a technician sitting behind the SS officers who immediately and casually walks out of the way.
- And when one of them starts to yell at him and declares he will be punished by Hitler for his treachery, Schmidt raises his eyebrows and makes a head motion to the effect of "Oh, really?" Then when he begins firing, one of them dodges a couple shots and he scowls, like he's thinking "Oh, come on!". Finally, when he connects with the next shot, he gives a little nod, as if thinking "There that's better." And given that it's usually mooks that couldn't hit an oil tanker if they were standing on its front deck, it's kind of funny that even the Big Bad of the movie has trouble aiming.
- Schmidt and Zola survey a destroyed HYDRA base and meet the last survivor, who says "We fought to the last man!" Zola closes his eyes and looks away before Schmidt executes the survivor. He knows exactly what's coming.
- Right after Steve is transformed, a nurse in the lab goes to offer him a shirt, takes a look at him, then doesn't give him the shirt.
- When Steve is chasing the Hydra agent that killed Erskine, it's an awesome moment as we see first hand what the Captain is capable of. But the entire thing is also hilarious from the Agent's point of view. He remains unfazed when Cap first starts chasing him since, 99% of the time, a man chasing a car would eventually tire out. But when he looks again and sees that Steve is still chasing him, not only keeping up, but catching up to him, his look changes to Oh, Crap!. When he tries to escape by sub, thinking he's going to get away scot-free, he sees Steve catching up to him swimming, making the look seem like he's thinking "Leave me alone already!!!"
- After a child who was being used as a hostage is tossed into the ocean by a HYDRA agent, Steve tries to decide if he should save the kid, or go after the agent.
- Also kinda counts as a moment of awesome for the kid. Plus, 70 years later, he'll get to boast to his retirement-home buddies about how he was the first New Yorker ever to be saved by an Avenger.
- Stan Lee's cameo during the award ceremony upon seeing a backstage aide tell the senator Rogers isn't there and mistaking the aide for Rogers.
Comic Book Tie-In
- Cap breaching a German armored car.
- Seeing Chris Evans, most known at the time for playing snarky pretty boys, play such a relative goody-two shoes was pretty funny... before he became known for this role instead.
- During the end credits, one may do a double take if they're familiar with this image◊, but not where it came from. How about a nice cup of freedom?