Funny / Honest Trailers 2014 Episodes

Main | 2012–13 | 2014 | 2015 | 2016 | 2017 | 2018 | 2019 | 2020 | 2021 | 2022 | 2023 | 2024

---

Movie Trailers

RoboCop (1987)

• The trailer's best moment: "RoboCop: A blatant Jesus metaphor who dies, gets resurrected, and walks on water. But instead of dying for our sins, this Jesus...shoots rapists...in the dick!"
• "This trailer is rated 'R', because that's how you make a f*cking RoboCop movie!"
• "BAAAAAAAAAALLLLS"
• "The 80s, when movies were made for adults, and marketed towards children!" Cut to an 80s toy commercial for Robocop.
• "Journey to a futuristic Detroit that's become a bankrupt, crime-ridden hellhole. Basically, present day Detroit."
• "RoboCop is the last movie that needs a freakin' remake. What are they gonna do next? Die Hard? Oh, no! I've said too much!"

Gravity

• A scene showing Ryan's POV as she spins helplessly out of control is overlaid with jaunty carnival ride music, as the narrator comments that "you'll be on the edge of your seat...trying to hold in your barf."
• The astronauts bouncing off of things in space are punctuated with pinball noises.

300

• The film is described as "a blend of historical truth and Zack Snyder nonsense, mixing... actual Persian fighting units with mutant Persian goat men? Huh?"
• Xerxes is described as "a hairless giant with an entire jewelry store on his face and a voice that sounds like he's in the witness protection program".
• Reciting the long, long list of instances of Ho Yay from the film, including "men wearing thongs, men getting speared with phallic objects, men holding hands, men holding men tenderly from behind, men letting it hang, men getting all wet in the rain, men getting all sweaty on the beach, men playing two flutes at the same time, [...] and a male-to-female nipple ratio of 600 to 4. Man, I haven't seen a movie this deep in the closet since Top Gun."

The Hunger Games: Catching Fire

• The narrator cowers when Katniss gives him a Death Glare for saying that all books must be lazily padded into as many films as possible.
  Narrator: Okay, we'll see the sequels! Don't hurt us!
• And this:
  Narrator: Watch as this good movie gets hailed as great, because everyone wants to be BFFs with Jennifer Lawrence. [cuts to a clip of Jennifer Lawrence] God, she's just so down-to-earth!
• Among the "starring" list is "the Claaaaw!"

Frozen

• The trailer proclaims the movie to be "the feature-length music video for "Let It Go"!"
• The song parodies:
  • "Reindeer(s) Are Better Than People" becomes "I'm kinda turned on by reindeer..."
  • "Love Is an Open Door" becomes "We are about to pooooooorrrrrrrkkkkkk".
  • For "In Summer": "When you're out of ideas, you give them a singing snowmaaaaan!"
  • "Let it Go", described here as the YOLO song: "Get it out, get it out, get this song out of my head! Get it out, get it out! I'll sing anything else instead!"
• Starring: Forgotten Sarah Marshall (Anna), Kristoff Waltz (Kristoff), Ugly Smurfs (the trolls), Hans Gruber (Hans), Merchandising (Olaf), and the Wickedly talented Adele Dazeem (Elsa).

Captain America: The First Avenger

• "Ride along with Captain America as he faces off against the evil Red Skull, who along with everyone else in sci-fi and fantasy is played by Hugo Weaving."
• "Cheer as the Captain defeats his legendary arch-nemesis in a brisk two-minute montage, all to leave more time for foreshadowing The Avengers, introducing the plot device from The Avengers, unnecessarily freezing himself so he can be in The Avengers, and an after-credits scene that is literally a trailer for The Avengers."
• Sebastian Stan/Bucky is "The Winter Spoiler" and Dominic Cooper/Howard Stark is "Robert Downey, Sr."

Game of Thrones (Seasons 1 – 3)

• When the narrator advertises the spoiler-free version of the trailer at the beginning:
  Narrator: Just be sure to come back and watch the real version when you're all caught up... wuss!
• "From fiction's most notorious serial killer, comes the TV adaptation of the medieval encyclopedia/dungeon master's guide/porno that is: Game of Thrones."
  Narrator: [humming the show's theme song] Duh-duh! Duh-nuh-duh-duh! Duh-nuh-duh-duh! God that song's cool!
• The video's summary of the series:
  Narrator: It's the abusive show you keep watching, no matter how many times it hurts you; full of disturbing imagery like incest, beheadings, attempted child murder, more incest...and that's just the first episode!
• "Travel to Westeros, a place where everything is the Thing of Nouns."
  King Robert: The Hand of the King!
  Sam Tarly: Light of the Seven...
  Brienne of Tarth: Brienne of Tarth.
  Ygritte: Lord of Bones...
  Lord Beric: Lord of Light...
  Lord Tywin: Master of Coin...
  Queen Daenerys: Mother of Dragons...
  Shagga: Son of Dolf.
  Melisandre: Son of Fire...
  Melisandre: Warrior of Light...
  Tyrion: Bank of Braavos...
  Lord Stark: Lord of Winterfell, and Warden of the North...
• "Watch as everyone fights to sit on the world's most uncomfortable chair, while completely ignoring the invasion of ice zombies that threatens to kill them all. [shows the huge invasion of 'White Walkers'] Seriously, somebody should really get on that!"
• "Meet unforgettable heroes... who were still alive at the time we wrote this Honest Trailer." For unintentional bonus points, right as he says it, the shot is of Barristan Selmy, who died in Season Five.
  Narrator: [Like] Tyrion Lannister, a character who's so awesome, [shows Tyrion slapping Joffrey Baratheon] (Imp slap!) Peter Dinklage will get every good dwarf role until he dies. Or Warwick Davis kills him.
• The narrator, like many fans of the show, really hated Joffrey Baratheon.
  Narrator: Watch as these heroes struggle to end the reign of King Justin Bieber. God, if he doesn't die this season, I'm gonna f*cking kill him myself! F*cking HATE that kid!
• The narrator lampshading the show's Anyone Can Die nature (while also noting that most cases are related to one famous Chronically Killed Actor)...
  Narrator: Ride along on an adventure where any lead character can die, whether you're Sean Bean, Sean Bean's wife, Sean Bean's best friend, Sean Bean's son, Sean Bean's daughter-in-law, Sean Bean's family dogs, or Sean Bean's unborn grandkid. All men must die... who are in anyway close to Sean Bean!
• ...while also noting its infamous Fanservice status.
  Narrator: Settle in for a show with so many monologues, HBO will desperately try to keep your attention by any BEWBS necessary! [30-second long montage of (censored) boobs set to epic music] ...not that I'm complaining! BEWBS!
• The narrator giving up on naming, or remembering, the large cast.
  Narrator: Starring... the ten characters whose names you actually remember! [Daenerys Targaryen, Jon Snow, Robb Stark, Eddard Stark, Tyrion Lannister, Jaime Lannister, Cersei Lannister, Catelyn Stark, Joffrey Baratheon, Ayra Stark] And all these other characters whose names you actually don't remember! [Jojen and Meera Reed, Yara Greyjoy, Gendry, Giantsbane and Orell] Like: The Sneaky Guy [Littlefinger]; The Sneaky Bald Guy [Varys]; Carl Drago [Khal Drogo]; Those Gay Dudes [Ser Loras Tyrell and Renly Baratheon]; Lord Friend Zone [Ser Jorah Mormont]; Grumpy Old Dad [Tywin Lannister]; The Same Person? [Stannis Baratheon]; Sand-San-Sansa? [Sansa]; Bronn? [Bran Stark]; Bran? [Bronn]; Bronn Again? [Robin Arryn]; Sam? Not Sam?^note "No, Sam's the fat one from Lord of the Rings" [Sam]; The One Who Had A Demon Baby [Melisandre]; The Guy That Got His Dick Cut Off [Theon Greyjoy]; I don't remember her name, but she's Super Hot [Margaery]; Tyrion's Hooker Girlfriend [Shae]; Oh, Hodor! That's Hodor! [Hodor]; Uhh... [Xaro Xhoan Daxos]; Uhhhhh... [Commander Jeor Mormont]; Now You're Just Messing With Me [Walder Frey]; No Idea [Ser Davos]; Faceless Assassin. That Guy's Awesome [Jaqen H'ghar]; Not A Clue [Pycelle]; No [Rodrick]; Uh-uh [Osha]; Nope [Benjen]; Nope [Balon Greyjoy]; Nope [Syrio Forel]; Dunno [Luwin]; I Got Nothin' [Mance Rayder]; Not Ringing A Bell [Beric Dondarrion]; Go Make Up Your Own Names, Nerds! [Barristan Selmy].
  • It's even funnier if you've read the books. If you have, you'll notice that the writers of the show actually changed the names of some of the characters with similar-sounding names so that it wouldn't be even harder to keep them all straight. Asha Greyjoy became Yara Greyjoy so that people wouldn't get her mixed up with Osha the wildling, and Robert Arryn became Robin Arryn so that people wouldn't get him mixed up with Robert Baratheon.
• In The Stinger:
  Narrator: If you put any spoilers in the comments, I'll kill you. But to all my book bros, R + L = J. You know what I'm talking about!

Attack of the Clones

• The "Episode II" subtitle is pronounced as "Episode 11".
• The opening line.
  Narrator: From the man (George Lucas) who created some of your fondest childhood memories, then took a huge dump on 'em, comes the prequel-sequel that proved Phantom Menace wasn't an accident.
  Nute Gunray: This isn't how it's supposed to be!
• The narrator's response to the infamous "I don't like sand" line:
  Narrator: Come on, J.J., there's no way you can do any worse than this.
• "Obi Wan Kenobi, a man forced to act opposite lifeless CGI characters like Hayden Christensen."
• Starring: Haydon't Act Again, Ewan a Bad Movie, Yogurt, M. Bison, Nipply Portman, Laurence Fishburne, Definitely Not the Emperor, Dickhead, Cthulhu, Darth Saruman, and Jango Unbrained.
• The Stinger.
  Narrator: So, correct me if I'm wrong here, but the clones never actually attack anyone in this movie, SO WHY THE F*CK WOULD YOU CALL THIS MOVIE "ATTACK OF THE CLONES"?!
  • More amusing is that this audio is put over scenes from the Battle of Geonosis (a clone offensive) at the end of the movie. Failed a Spot Check is putting it nicely.

The Wolf of Wall Street

• The numerous list of people who have Oscars from The Wolf of Wall Street trailer. Especially the naming of Matthew McConaughey as "Dallas Oscar Stealers Club".
  Narrator: F**k you!

The Spider-Man Trilogy

• "Prepare for an epic superhero trilogy featuring Spider-Man 1, a story about Peter Parker struggling with his powers, breaking up with Mary Jane, and battling a supervillain who ultimately kills himself; Spider-Man 2, a story about Peter Parker struggling with his powers, breaking up with Mary Jane, and battling a supervillain who ultimately kills himself; and Spider-Man 3, a story about Peter Parker struggling with his powers, breaking up with Mary Jane, and battling a supervillain who ultimately kills himself. Wait, did they just make the same movie three times in a row?"
• Showing the infamous emo Peter Parker scenes from Spider-Man 3:
  Narrator: No. Stop. What's happening? Why are you doing this? Please! Please! It's so lame! Oh, God, really?! WHY?! Oh, the humanity!

The X-Men Trilogy

• "Suit up for director Bryan Singer's first two X-Men films that proved comic book movies can be awesome, and director Brett Ratner's The Last Stand that proved comic book movies can totally suck balls."
• While listing off everyone's favorite X-Men, the narrator lists Gambit: "FOOTAGE NOT FOUND."

Alice in Wonderland (2010)

• The narrator seeing that Alice in Wonderland (2010) made over $1 billion at the box office.
  Narrator: A BILLION?! THIS IS WHY WE CAN'T HAVE NICE THINGS!
• "You fell in love with Lewis Carroll's playful storybooks and sat in awe of Disney's beautiful animated film. Now, head down the rabbit hole once again to watch the once-brilliant Tim Burton, who always defied convention with brilliant new stories and visionary ideas, become a complete parody of himself and bungle yet another iconic franchise for a paycheck."

Top Gun

• The entire Honest Trailer is made in the style of a trailer from The '80s.

The Lion King

• Their trailer for The Lion King (1994), doing the same lyric gags as the Frozen one:
  He's a threaaaat to our lives!
  And he'll eat us aaaaall!
  He is on display
  To remind us we're prey!
• The hyenas being called "Ed, Edd and Eddy" and Timon and Pumbaa being called "Ren and Stimpy!"
• The pride lands are described as having very generous borders, and the Elephant Graveyard is its own version of New Jersey.
• The accents are all over the place, including British,^note Zazu Evil British,^note Scar Latino,^note Bonzai Jewish Mother,^note Timon Gangsta,^note Shenzi and CNN.^note James Earl Jones

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen

• The trailer gives a credit for the one true star of any Michael Bay film: "BEWMS!"
• The warning at the beginning of the trailer: "The following trailer contains scenes from Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen."
• "From the director who would most likely masturbate to an explosion comes two hours of moving pictures and loud noises that, because if was filmed on a camera, technically qualifies as a movie."
• "Megan Fox, who once again combines the looks of a professional porn star, with the acting ability of an amateur porn star."
• After going through the long, long list of asspulls and glaring plot holes, the narrator disgustedly exclaims "we've already put more thought into this movie than the people who made it did."
• Closing with a clip of Michael Bay getting completely flustered in the middle of a speech and walking off stage, saying he's sorry, followed by the narrator saying "now you know how we felt watching this movie, Mikey."

Green Lantern

• "So spend two hours with Green Van Wilder as he turns one of the most original comic books into one of the least original comic book movies, featuring the same old cliches like a science experiment gone wrong, the theme of responsibility, a rushed training montage, a kidnapped love interest, and the same traumatic early death of a father figure as every other superhero movie ever. Man, Father's Day must really suck for a superhero."
• On the post credits scene:
  Narrator: Heh heh, they thought there was gonna be a sequel. That's adorable.

Divergent

• Divergent (aka Not the The Hunger Games)
• Epic Voice Guy insisting (twice) that Divergent and The Hunger Games are in fact one and the same, and getting into an argument over it with the sound engineer and director.
  "Guys, I'm telling you, we did this already!"
• The trailer invites us to "sit back for a film full of obvious attempts to pander to teenage girls, like: staring at yourself in the mirror, having perfect hair no matter how much you work out, hot older boys who see how special you are on the inside, and telling them that choosing your clique is the most important decision you'll ever make."

Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II: The Secret of the Ooze

• "Based on the dark brooding comic that became a children's cartoon that became the worst musical tour of all time comes a nineties movie that proves the Turtles Franchise was ridiculous way before Michael Bay got his hands on it."
• ... And Bad Cosplay!

  Shredder growls at Mikey

• I guess it looks better than ugly CGI. Uhhh!
• The Narrator's dislike for the lack of weapons.
  Narrator: Instead, see them fight with belts, yo-yos, ties, blankets, soft NERF Bats, sausages, and Word Power! Come on! Just stab someone already!
• "Aw, did you get stuck in a net? Sure would be great if they could use their *zooms in on Leo's Katanas* SWORDS OR SOMETHING!!!!!! I mean, come on! He's got them right there on his back! What are they doing?!"
• "The Shredder returned, and he's returned, and he's returned, and he probably smells like sh*t now! Watch him strike fear into the hearts of men with his ability to stand and do nothing while his enemies are right in front of him! And his lieutenant, Tatsu, who... also stands and does nothing while his enemies Are. Right. In. Front of him!"
• "Tremble as they battle for control of the secret of the ooze, which is never really explained now that I mention it, but for some reason can... turn turtles into ninja turtles, turn flowers into bigger flowers, and turn Bebop and Rocksteady into two lame-ass ripoffs that no one ever asked for!"
• The displeasure of Vanilla Ice in the movie:
  Narrator: When did they have time to coordinate this sh*t? Stop dancing with Vanilla Ice. Stop it! What are you doing?! No, Ninja, No, Ninja, No!
• The Starring list: The Blue Ranger, Wreck-It Raph, Bart Simpson, Nerdatello, Ratniss Neverclean, Surf Ninja, Asian Darth Vader, April's Mom and Justin Bieber's Dad.
• In the Stinger, the Narrator calls out the makers of the film for Hypocritical Humor.
  Narrator: So parents were mad about them using their weapons, but [shows people eating pizza] totally okay with them advocating an all-pizza diet? Pfft! Hypocrites!

Captain America: The Winter Soldier

• Captain America: The Winter Soldier (aka Captain America: He's Cool Now):
• "Watch as Cap and two non-superheroes end up ... actually kicking a lot of ass together, in a really entertaining well-directed movie. What? We had to be honest. It's good. But since Honest Trailers is a comedy series, Get Ready. For. Nitpicking."
• Crediting The Falcon as "Falcon Punch".
  • Hail Hard Drive.

Everything Wrong With The Amazing Spider-Man 2

• As a crossover, Screen Junkies and CinemaSins swapped around and did the other channel's most famous video for The Amazing Spider-Man 2.^note Because, as they state in the description, "Everyone gets us mixed up anyway, so why not?"
• When Gwen phones Peter:
  Narrator: Where was Spidey hiding that cell phone? In a skintight suit, there's only one place he could be stashing his stuff. And you don't want to know where it is.
• Two back-to-back sins:
  Narrator: [after feathers fly when Spidey takes his suit off] Did he just fight a chicken?
  Narrator: [when Spidey's holding a fish] Did he just fight a fish?
• When Norman Osborn's on his deathbed:
  Norman Osborn: This is not how I imagined I would die.
  Narrator: "I always imagined I'd be impaled on my own glider."
• The next sin:
  Harry: On my 16th birthday, you send me Scotch.
  Narrator: Sounds like a pretty cool dad to me.
• Before Max Dillion becomes Electro:
  Narrator: There's your problem. The thingy's all unplugged.
• And when he becomes Electro: "Hey boss, should we put a lid on these tanks?" "Nah, what's the worst that could happen?"
• During the first Spidey vs. Electro fight, Electro hits a couple of advertisements for a couple of Broadway musicals:
  Narrator: [in fake Italian accent] Mamma Mia! Not the Jersey Boys!
• When the scientist introduces himself:
  Doctor Kafka [in stereotypical German accent] I am Doctor Kafka.
  Narrator: [also in stereotypical German accent] "Ze stereotypical German scientist, ja?"
• When Peter crashes into a wall behind Gwen: "Kramer entrance."
• When Peter arrives at the disused subway station where his father did his secret research:
  Narrator: If Neo shows up looking for the Train Man, I'm out.
• After Gwen tells Peter that she's been given a scholarship to the University of Oxford:
  Narrator: "With great power comes great responsibility." Unless the girl you're porking moves to England.
• During the final fight between Electro and Spidey, Electro plays "Itsy Bitsy Spider" on the electrical pylons:
  Spider-Man: I hate this song.
  Narrator: That makes all of us.
• At the end, when Spidey's about to hit Rhino with a manhole cover:
  Narrator: This was such a great shot in the trailer! I can't want to see what comes ne— [film ends] It's over?! Well, f*ck you too, then!
• The video ends with 157 sins. And then they have a Bonus Round, full of all the Sony product placements. Final total? 2,899,270.

Godzilla (2014)

• Godzilla (2014) (aka "Godzilla: The Good One")
• Starring... The Olsen Triplet (Elle Brody), Discount Channing Tatum (Ford Brody), Duhhhhh (Dr. Serizawa), Crysenberg (Joe Brody), and Real Kaiju Have Curves (Godzilla)
• The Narrator then remarks that his character stares. *cue the music*

The Fault In Our Stars

• The Fault in Our Stars (aka Cancer F*cking Sucks)
• TEWBS.

Transformers: Age of Extinction

• Transformers: Age of Extinction (aka Transformers 4: Welcome to China)
• The last third of the trailer is spoken in Chinese to mock Bay's pandering to China.
• "In a franchise that's known for objectifying hot young women, prepare for a new low, as they make the movie's hot chick an underage girl, make her boyfriend a legal adult, and literally stop the movie to explain why it's okay for them to pork. If only they'd put as much time into justifying the plot as they did for having sex with a minor."
• Instead of the usual funny names for the cast members, the "Starring..." segment is just one Long List of all of the Product Placement that appeared in the film.

Fight Club

• Meat Loaf being listed as "Mewwwwbs."

X-Men: Days of Future Past

• "From Bryan Singer, the director with the mutant power to make Brett Ratner disappear..."
• "In a world full of other cool X-Men, meet Wolverine for the seventh f*cking time."

Saw

• Saw (aka Saw 1: You Saw Them All)
• The bathroom in Saw is dubbed "your typical Taco Bell bathroom".
• The montage of gory deaths from the Saw movies, set to happy-go-lucky circus music. After that, the narrator unsuccessfully attempts to hold back his puking, and then yells "Go to starring! GO TO STARRING!"
• Starring: Kristen Bell (John Kramer), Robin Hood: Man In Chain (Lawrence Gordon), Dental Plan (Lisa Needs Braces) (Amanda Young in the Reverse Bear Trap), Awesome Mix, Vol. 1 (the "Play Me" cassette tape), Rush Hour (David Tapp and Steven Sing), This Guy (Adam Stanheight), The Bad Guy from Lost (Zep), I Think She's on Parenthood? (Alison Gordon), Filth (the bathroom), and Cher (Billy the Puppet).

Maleficent

• Maleficent (aka Sleeping Beauty: The Bad One)
• Describing the title character as "How Jennifer Aniston sees Angelina Jolie".
• Their opinion of Maleficent not turning into a dragon like in Sleeping Beauty:
  Narrator: You had one job, Disney.
  • Noting that the title character is only mean in this version because she was roofied and mutilated by her childhood love.
  Narrator: Have fun explaining that to your kids.
• "The three fairies you loved from the original, who are now three hideous idiots whose stupidity borders on child abuse. Way to fuck up fairies, Disney."

The Little Mermaid

• The Little Mermaid (1989) (aka The Little Waistline)
• Starring: She Swells Seashells (Ariel), White Aladdin (Prince Eric), Inki Minaj (Ursula), Phish (some fish extras), the closest thing this movie has to a black person (Sebastian), Jacked Gandalf (Triton), and Whining Nemo (Flounder).
• The Stinger has the narrator noting that the movie would have been different if Ariel's top half was fish, followed by a scene of a fish-headed Ariel gargling and Eric's disgusted reaction.

Dawn of the Planet of the Apes

• Dawn of the Planet of the Apes (aka Rise of the Dawn of the Start of the Planet of the Apes: Origins: The Beginning)
• The narrator describing the themes of the movie.
  Narrator: Settle for the thinking man's blockbuster chock full of complicated characters, political maneuvering, family dynamics, and a monkey duel-wielding machine guns on horseback, fighting a tank. (Beat) Okay, that was kind of dumb, but who cares? It's still awesome, right?
• This line about the acting.
  Narrator: See Andy Serkis deliver an Oscar-worthy performance by capturing the graceful movements and emotions of Caesar and doing his best Christian Bale Batman impression, while the cast and crew deliver an even MORE Oscar-worthy performance by not laughing at a tiny British man in a unitard pretending to be a monkey.

Guardians of the Galaxy

• Guardians of the Galaxy (2014) (aka Marvel's Space Avengers)
  • Once again, the screen at the beginning is flooded with requests to make this specific trailer. "Okay, okay, we got it, keep your star pants on."
• The narrator concludes that this whole movie is just Marvel trolling their audience, having grown Drunk with Power and being perfectly aware that they can do anything they want now and they'll still make billions.
  Narrator: So experience the swagger of a movie studio drunk on its own power as Marvel trolls the world with balls-out middle fingers to the audience they know they have in the palm of their hands. Oh, you like superheroes? Well, how about a movie that stars a f*cking raccoon and a f*cking tree? You like Vin Diesel? Yeah, well, we cast him, and he only says one f*cking line. [clip of Vin Diesel yelling "I! AM! GROOT!"] You want more pedigreed actors? We'll put 'em in stupid outfits and make 'em say space bullsh*t—[clip of Glenn Close as Irani Rael saying "All Nova pilots, interlock and form a blockade"]—because who doesn't want to be in a f*cking Marvel movie? Hey, recognize that chubby idiot from Parks and Rec? We're gonna turn him into a sex symbol! That would be hilarious! Remember the worst movie we ever made, Howard the Duck? Stick that after the credits when everyone's expecting Avengers 2; it'll totally f*ck with our fans, and they'll love it anyways. Speaking of which, remember Thanos from that one scene at the end of The Avengers a few years ago? Well, we're bringing him back, and he's still not doing sh*t. Why? Because f*ck you, we're Marvel, that's why! What're you gonna do, watch DC? [clip of Superman screaming "No!"] Thought so!
• After listing off all the different colored aliens, the narrators ends with "In case you get confused, the hero is still the white guy."

The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug

• The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug (aka The Hobbit: Two Down. One to Go)
• "This is the prequel, right? So how come Legolas looks so much...more mature?"

Honest Game Trailers

Mario Kart

• Mario Kart is described as a good way to teach players that "winning and being the best driver don't always go hand in hand".
• The narrator then lampshades the absurdity of a kingdom with a unreasonably high rate of princess kidnapping being the home place of a go-kart tournament.
  "Watch as bitter rivals (Mario and Bowser) put aside their decades long blood feud for a day of friendly go-karting (they are shown sharing a double kart as he says the second part of the sentence)."
• The Rainbow Road is described as a Gay Pride parade... you should not pick because everyone else will only hate you.
• The way items are described.
  "High explosives (Bob-Ombs), slapstick comedy (bananas), decoy item boxes that have never fooled a single driver (fake item boxes), PCP (Stars), bulls*** (Lightning Bolt), the hollowed-out shells of once living breathing Koopas (Koopa Shells), BIG. ASS. BULLET. (Bullet Bill)..."
  • But a special mention goes to the last.
    "... And the item that holds the all-time record for most ruined friendships, the Blue Shell: (this part shows a playthrough with the Mario Kart Wii alarm indicating you are pursued by a shell) a weapon so incredibly evil that it seeks out the lead driver and—- (shows Mario getting hit by the blue shell and reveals that the Narrator was playing the whole time) OH COME ON! I WAS RIGHT THERE! THIS HAPPENS EVERY RACE, STUPID NINTENDO! I WAS IN, LIKE, FIRST THE WHOLE FREAKING TIME!!!"
• "Starring: Bob Hoskins (Mario), Green Mario (Luigi), Hannah Montana (Peach), Miley Cyrus (Daisy), Fat Mario (Wario), Shrooms (Toad), a Snork (Birdo), Business Kong (Donkey Kong), Ghost Rider (King Boo), Reptar (Yoshi), Bow Wow (Bowser) Lil Bow Wow (Bowser Jr.) and Time Paradoxes (Baby Mario and Baby Luigi)".
• The Stinger has this moment:
  "And if you suck at racing, there's always battle mode! Hehehe, ballewns."

God of War

Grand Theft Auto V

• At the start of the video, Rockstar Games is accused of promoting bullying, murder, and ping-pong.
• Then the narrator describes the game as the one "old people claim is turning us into violent sociopaths":
  "...WHICH IS NOT TRUE, AND I'LL F***ING KILL YOU IF YOU SAY ANY DIFFERENT!!! (Beat) Ahem."
• The way characters are presented:
  • Michael, a retired criminal trying to escape his past... by committing more crimes!
  • "Franklin, an up-and-coming street hustler... who drops more N-bombs than Django Unchained. [cue montage of Franklin dropping some N-bombs like there's no tomorrow]
  • Trevor is described as "the first character whose personality matches the way the average gamer plays GTA". [cue montage of Trevor committing several acts of violence, and ending on a Cluster F-Bomb]
• "...and Gaming's. Most. Underwhelming. Submarine!"...[Beat]..."Oh, come on! They could've at least put a radio in this thing!"
• "...Then walk out of the hospital with no negative repercussions. Thanks, Obamacare!
• Starring: Tony Soprano (Michael), Ice Cube (Franklin), Breaking Bad (Trevor), Jonah Hill (Jimmy), Kid Rock (Wade), Fear and Loathing in Los Santos (Ron), Newman from Seinfeld (Lester), Beats by Dre (Lamar), Kesha (Tracy), Selfies and Stereotypes.
• The game is finally called Grand Theft Auto Vuh.
• "...And don't forget about multiplayer, where you can crew up with your friends to—"*SLAM*
  "Ha! Noob!"
  "Aw, son of a bitch!"

Assasin's Creed 4

• When performing a Leap of Faith:
  "Surely this small amount of hay will cushion the impact...OH MY GOD, MY BONES!"

Elder Scrolls: Skyrim

Star Fox 64

Candy Crush

Mortal Kombat

Final Fantasy VII

Portal

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare

• "Suit up for the least realistic war franchise since Contra, that's so over the top it makes Battlefield look sane by comparison." [Footage from Battlefield 4 is shown where the player ejects from their fighter jet, snipes an enemy pilot out of their plane, then takes control of the enemy plane]. "Aww yeah. Realism."
• "Dive into multiplayer when you're done playing the six hours of story, where you'll compete against thousands of underage racists and lose all sense of self-respect as they bait you into an argument":
  Opponent: It's called 'I have a life', you ever heard of it? I don't play games all day, unlike you, you (Sound-Effect Bleep).
  Narrator: Yeah? Well, your...your mom!

Minecraft

Pokémon: Red and Blue

• The Long List of nicknames for all 151 original Pokémon. The list continues in the Honest Trailers for Gold and Silver, Ruby and Sapphire, Diamond and Pearl, Black and White, X and Y and Sun and Moon.

Mass Effect

Diablo

Team Fortess 2

• The Starring roles: The ShamWow Guy (Scout), Team Rocket (Soldier), Trogdor the Burninatrix (Pyro), Demolition Man (Demoman), Vladimir Shootin' (Heavy), Fix-It Felix (Engineer), House (Medic), "Crocodile" Dundee (Sniper), and All of the Above (Spy).

Zelda: The Ocarina of Time

Destiny

Dark Souls

• The entirety of this game is full of win:
  Narrator: Get lost in beautiful scenery that you will actually get lost in, full of: NPCs with a dark sense of humor [shows several characters' laughing dialogue], one totally out of place optimist [shows Solaire], and some of gaming's most epic bosses [shows several large bosses]... that you'll take down with a hundred, perfectly timed butt pokes in a row [shows a sped-up clip of defeating Vendrick with countless hits from behind]
  • "WOHOO! PRAISE THE SUN, Y'ALL!"
• "Play through all three action RPGs that are challenging in the same way breaking bricks with your flaccid penis is challenging."
• And the Narrator gets fed up with the "a-holes who won't shut up about beating the game".
  Narrator: Oh, good for you! Do it with a Rock Band controller. Then we'll talk. [cue someone beating it while using a Rock Band controller] Okay... wow.

Five Nights at Freddy's

• The narrator introduces the game this way:
  "You tried to stay sane in Amnesia, you ran for your life in Slender, now prepare for the next step in video game horror: sitting on your ass doing absolutely noth- (Bonnie Jump Scares the narrator) Ah!
• The Jump Scare Running Gag. It's even funnier if you consider it happens every time the narrator criticizes the game for lacking logic or impact.
• Describing the game as "the horror game sensation, that no one enjoys playing, but everyone loves watching other people play".
  "Ha ha! They got scared! What a bunch of-" (Freddy Jump Scare) Aw f***!
  • It's even funnier when you realize the last people shown were Smosh Games.
• Even if the narrator hates the game, he brilliantly describes the Vicious Cycle its gameplay implies:
  "The more scared you get, the more you look for monsters; and the more you look for monsters, the less power you have; which makes you more scared; which makes you look for more monsters; and so on, until it finally ends in a Jump Scare that makes you scream even though you totally know it's coming."
• The Shout-outs and clever puns in the "starring" cast: Winnie the Boo, Los Pollos Hermana, Bonnie Darko, and Sonic the Hedgefox, complete with Sonic's music paired with Foxy's run footage.
• He finally presents the game as "Seven Nights of Furries"
• The narrator feeling relieved that it's a one-off internet fad, immediately followed by the end of the sequel's game trailer.

  Narrator: Aw, f***, we're gonna have a million of these, aren't we?

World of Warcraft

• The game is described as a more effective form of teenage abstinence than acne, sex ed, and the catholic church combined!
• After describing the game as "a lifetime of lost opportunities in the real world" (all by showing the nolife from the South Park episode), the narrator denies being addicted to the game, then looks at his playtime: 534 days, 6 hours, 49 minutes and 26 seconds.
  "Oh no."
• He then describes the two mains factions of the game as Cliche Storms:
  "The Alliance: (in a silly childish voice) a collection of generic fantasy tropes who protect the realm with The Power of Friendship; and the Horde: (in a uselessly manly voice) a collection of generic heavy metal tropes who savage the realm with the power of adulthood!
• The content of the game is described this way:
  • Epic raids who require "more cooperating nerds than the space program."
  • Rideable status symbol "that let you rub your awesomeness at the face of the poor".
  • Purple stuff that's outdated as soon as they release the expansion.
  • And trolling. Lots and lots of trolling. This part is illustrated with dancing player characters and Leeroy Jenkins.
• The narrator suggests to give up school or your day job for a game that requires as much effort... as school or a day job.
• Starring: Na'vis (Draenei); Gimlis (Dwarves); Rastafarians (Aggra); Pandarin' to Chinese audiences (Chen Stormstout); Time Bandits (Gnomes); Mutant League Football (Grom Hellscream); Moooooo (Tauren); Cosplay Elves (Night Elves); that time of the month Elves (Blood Elves); and what you look like after 10 years of WoW (Undead).
• The game is finally presented as "Real World or Warcraft".
• In The Stinger, the narrator shows a playthrough of the original Warcraft:
  "This is what Warcraft looked like in the nineties, kids! 'Zug-zug', am I right?"

Super Smash Bros.

• Nintendo is introduced as the company behind the Wii and... the other Wii.
• The game itself is described as "either the most precise fighting game of all time, or a mindless button-masher that an angry chimp with stump hands could play, or both?"
• The narrator presents the games as "the one you played in diapers (Super Smash Bros. 64), the one you suck at (no, seriously, you do) (Super Smash Bros. Melee), the one everyone hates for not being "Melee" (Super Smash Bros. Brawl), and the one... I'm still... playing... as we... speak (Super Smash Bros. for Nintendo 3DS and Wii U)". He even forgets about making the trailer!
• He then lampshades how the game started as a "Nintendo Hall of Fame" before including third-party franchises, then showcasing their most obscure ones.
  "Raise you hand if you knew who Shulk was before Smash. Congratuations, you're now a Japanese!"
• How the trailer resumes the Casual-Competitive Conflict:
  "Test your skills at dozens of creative and dynamic areas before picking Corneria, or throw every skill out of the window by turning on items where you'll lose to bunch of wacky random bulls***".
  • The video then shows different items (Bob-Ombs, Hammer, Super Scope, Bumper, Draggoon, Home-run Bat, Golden Hammer) and the narrator gets angrier at each new one, especially the Smash Ball, "the entire premise of Brawl" according to the narrator.
    "It's like they were trying to make that one unfair! Ugh!"
• He then says you can ruin your friendships by taunting, pausing, stealing lives, messing with the announcer, or picking Meta Knight (whose Brawl trailer presentation is edited to call him "D!ck Head").
• The franchise is also described as one of the most original despite using the same tired old characters and settings, but also the only chance to make Yoshi poop Samus off a cliff.
• The game is finally called "Nintendo's Hunger Games".
• The Stinger consists of the narrator redubbing the (in)famous Wombo Combo video.

Pokémon: Gold and Silver

The Walking Dead

The Last of Us

League of Legends

• The percussive comments make the 20th Century Studios for some reason. Then the narrator denies all responsibility this way:
  "Okay, you asked for it."
• He describes the game as an "action-paced strategy game that requires teamwork to win, even though everyone who plays them f***ing hate each other", then shows an angry gamer raging at him because of a simple misclick:
  Angry gamer: "Oh, f*** you! You know what? You're f***ing bad! YOU'RE F***ING BAD! YOU PIECE OF S***!"
  Narrator: "Yeesh! And I thought Xbox Live was bad!"
• He then enumerates the inspirations from Riot Games... and remarked they took a lot from Dota 2 to the point he has to make a rapid-scrolling list to enumerate all the things they stole from it.
  "But hey, only League has bush!"
• After that, he shows a typical playthrough and, as a spectator, doesn't have a clue about what's happening on the screen.
  "Seriously, I have no idea what I'm looking at right now."
• Starring: Sexy Jutsu (Ahri); Full Metal Alcheblitz; Tara Reid; Jizz; Snarf; Fat Bastard; My Evil Pony; I'm So Unique (Jinx); Marco Polo; Token; All About Dat Ace; Big Daddy; Yuffie; Abominable Ice Climbers; Plays With Her Balls; Grumpy Cat; Squidward; Double Fister; Goku; Gambitch; God, I Hate This Little S*** (Teemo); and all the other Cham-Pokémon that aren't relevant in the current meta (which are shown under an "Irrelevant" sign which covers the whole screen).
• The game is finally called "League of Assholes".
• Then, in The Stinger, the narrator explodes in rage like the gamers he complained about earlier:
  "Oh, you disagree?! Well, QQ you noob! F***ing ass! F***ing motherfucker! F***ing, f*** sucking ass-lords!"

FIFA 2015

---