Film / Surf Ninjas

Johnny and Adam were perfectly ordinary brothers. Surfing afternoons and weekends, and attending school during the day. Then comes a mysterious stranger with an Eyepatch of Power and news of an unbelievable heritage. Adventure ensues as the brothers journey to obtain their birthright.

Surf Ninjas is a family film with martial arts starring Ernie Reyes Jr., Rob Schneider, Nicolas Cowan, and Leslie Nielsen. It's...not terrible by any means, though it's not all that great either, though it's hard to say whether, like The Rocky Horror Picture Show, the So Bad, It's Good-ness was on purpose.

This film provides examples of:

  • Absurdly Long Stairway: There's one on Colonel Chi's island.
  • Action Girl: Ro-May
  • Because Destiny Says So: Taken to the point of lampshading in the final assault.
    Mac: You can't go after [Colonel Chi] alone, Johnny.
    Adam and Iggy: (in unison) He can if it's his destiny.
  • Big Bad: Colonel Chi
  • Binocular Shot: Spoofed with Zatch, who only has one eye
  • Breaking the Fourth Wall: When the one-eyed Zatch notes he wants to quit smoking, Iggy suggests "you get the patch." He then looks to the camera to note who he's talking to.
  • Brick Joke: "Baba Ram" returns just before the ending credits.
  • Cane Fu: Zatch, again.
  • Crazy-Prepared: Spence surprises everyone by showing up after being handcuffed below.
    Spence: I had a key.
    Johnny: Where? We searched you.
    Spence: I swallowed it last Tuesday.
    Johnny: How'd you know you were going to need it?
    Spence: I swallow it every Tuesday.
  • Don't Explain the Joke: Iggy, particularly in the scene where Johnny's future bride is introduced, wearing a veil. Johnny and Adam both make snarky comments hinting about why she might be wearing a veil. Iggy says it flat out because he can't find a rhyme.
  • Dramatic Slip: Colonel Chi is knocked down and stepped on by an elephant, necessitating cybernetic replacements for much of his body. However, he has a good three seconds of hammily screaming to the camera during which he easily could have avoided the elephant's foot.
  • Extreme Sport Excuse Plot: The invasion of Colonel Chi's island
  • Exact Words: Just before the infiltration of Colonel Chi's island by surfboards, Iggy reveals to Johnny and Adam that he has never surfed a day in his life. Which they already knew anyway. But then Johnny says "But what if you could? The ability is within you." Obviously he wasn't talking about Iggy's non-existent "What If" power. Doubles as a small Crowning Moment of Heartwarming.
  • Eyepatch of Power: Zatch.
  • Grievous Harm with a Body: Threatened by an Irish "very distant" relative
    • To whit: Don't make me come down there and beat yew wi' tha leg o' mine tha' no longer works, cause AH'LL DO IT!
  • Highly Visible Ninja: Most of Colonel Chi's forces, which elicits a sarcastic remark from Iggy.
  • Instant Expert: Seems to be one of Adam's powers.
  • Kiai: Everybody. Even the elephant.
  • Long-Lost Relative: Zatch is Johnny and Adam's uncle.
  • Martial Arts Headband: Johnny, Adam, and Iggy all get one, though Iggy's receipt is played for laughs.
  • McNinja
  • Mondegreen: "Baba Ram"
  • Never Bring a Gun to a Knife Fight: Colonel Chi uses a machine gun against Johnny in their fight. Needless to say, it proves ineffective against Johnny, who parries several bullets with his sword.
  • Never Bring a Knife to a Fist Fight: Colonel Chi invokes this after losing his machine gun, saying that now that because Johnny still has his sword but he doesn't have his gun, it's no longer a fair fight. Amazingly enough, in what can only be a strange combination of Genre Savvy and Honor Before Reason, Johnny actually agrees with this self-serving argument and puts away his sword. The two of them finish the battle unarmed, allowing for a resolution that doesn't involve someone's skin getting punctured.
  • Power Overhaul: Both the brothers.
  • Precision F-Strike:
    Johnny: Adam, you're driving!
    Adam: Ain't it bitchin'?
  • Product Placement: Adam uses a Game Gear to predict the future and control people. And he does this by playing a game called "Surf Ninjas". That's right, he predicts the future by playing the video game adaptation of the movie he's a character in. (And there really was a "Surf Ninjas" game for the Game Gear.)
    • To be fair, while the Game Gear plays it straight, Adam says he thought he was playing Shinobi when the Surf Ninjas game boots up, so he had no way of knowing in-universe what would happen.
    • While the boys get ready for school at the start of the film, a box of Kellogg's Froot Loops cereal sits in plain sight on the kitchen table.
  • Really Royalty Reveal: What kicks off the plot. Johnny and Adam discover that they are the long lost crown princes of a remote island called Patu San.
  • Red Right Hand: Colonel Chi's mechanical arm.
  • Rule of Funny: In the restaurant fight, Adam is 'playing' the fight on his Game Gear, and selecting how things will go. When the time comes to choose weapons to fight off ninjas, he selects the funniest ones, and gets more points for it.
  • Shout-Out: Johnny, the first time he uses a blade, refers to Zorro.
  • So Nineties It Hurts
  • Surfer Dude: Both Johnny and Adam. Iggy's pretends and it's played for laughs.
  • Suddenly Always Knew That/New Powers as the Plot Demands: Both the brothers, Johnny and Adam.
  • Tempting Fate:
    • A stuntman assured Miss Hu that he could take her kicking him in the nuts. He couldn't.
    • Iggy reminds the others that the gas in their house was left on, and says "What if our house blows up?" It immediately does. Iggy then proceeds to blame himself for having caused the explosion by Tempting Fate, and concludes that he must have Tempting Fate as a superpower:
    Iggy: Something happened, I don't know what it is, but now every time I say WHAT IF about something it comes true, and back there I said "What if the the house blows up", and it blew up!
    Iggy: Wow, I have this tremendous responsibility! What if I lose this power?
    Iggy:Oh my gosh... I just said "What if I lose this power?" Damn it, I had it, then I lost it!
  • Token Minority: Lieutenant Spence, played by Tone Loc.
  • Two-Faced: Colonel Chi's face was repaired with cybernetics after being partially crushed.
  • Waif Prophet: Adam, without any of the negative aspects.
  • Weaksauce Weakness: Because of his cybernetics, Colonel Chi can't touch water.