Funny / Homestuck Act 6

For Funny Moments prior to Act 6, click this link.

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Act 6 Act 1

• The Beginning of Act 6 focuses on a billboard of Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff: THE MOIVE for a few seconds.
• The opening sequence for Homestuck Alpha happens entirely offscreen.
  "Earlier this morning you thought you heard the mail truck, even though the mail never comes in the morning. But just to be sure, you rushed downstairs to check, even though due to recent events, you are FORBIDDEN FROM LEAVING THE HOUSE. Alas, it was not there, and you sort of spaced out at the sky with a goofy grin on your face for no great reason"
• Jane: Answer Jake in its entirety. Mostly because of the odd language.
• Jane thinks her Gristwidget is a piece of junk. She proves why.
• Jane: Answer Lalonde Crosses the Line Twice with The Alcoholic 15-yr-old Hard-Drinking Party Girl.
  • This fan rendition of the scene.
• Receieving Sburb Alpha in the mail, Jane exclaims in Buffy Speak.
• Jane's thoughts on donning clever disguises.
• Jake: Make out with all of them.
  "Yes, that was a waste of time. Definitely. It's definitely not something you spend much time doing whenever you are alone, which is always. "
• Jake getting increasingly irritated with Strider's auto-responder:
  GT: Hey. Tell me about the auto responder. Make it snappy shitknickers!
• Sometimes you tell Dad you really want Poppop in the attic. He says the mere fact you call it that tells him you're not ready.
• We finally find out where all the pumpkins have been disappearing to!
• Roxy, on Betty Crocker's influence:
  TG: all i know is shes banking on us doing this and if she needs us to do this than its got to be to make somethin fucking hoorible happen
  TG: * horbible
  TG: * whore bible
  TG: ^ bullseye
• Speaking of bullseyes:
  AH HA. GOT YOU YOU SON OF A, SHIT, WAIT.
  • Doubles as Mood Whiplash
• "The Tao of falling the fuck down"
• Strider's touching and entirely disturbing monologue about the power of his puppetry.
  TT: If it puts your mind at ease, I'll be the one pulling the strings here.
  GG: Oh yes?
  GG: Then this whole affair will be one of D. Strider's grand productions in puppetry?
  TT: I will be the unseen hand whose nimble digits are behind every subtle twitch in our session's bulbous foam ass.
  TT: At least those gyrations not happening by the volition of its own quivering absorbant proboscis.
  TT: If you ever need help, Jane. If you're ever in any trouble at all, let me know. Just say the word.
  TT: I'll whip the toggle stick of this ludicrous marionette, cavorting its humongous bottom to intercept your freefall through the abyss.
  TT: Snowcone you up in the fluffy crook of its cleft. Don't be alarmed if you're in no hurry to unpry yourself.
  TT: For the great jut of this impudent rump has more yield to your touch than you ever dreamt. Remember to catch your breath as it cherishes the imprint of your hand like a memento from a lover gone to war.
  TT: There's a lot of give to that ass, you may say.
  TT: Might like to settle in. Make myself comfortable. Start a family.
  TT: Bounce a coin off that ass, you'll demand of visitors. It's not going anywhere.
  TT: Bet that coin'll take a good nap there.
  TT: It's a gamble you win every goddamn time.
  TT: Yeah.
  • Even funnier when you realise that some of those lines are identical to ones seen in the chat on Bro's puppet porn site, implying he was sockpuppeting the chat himself.
• Which is funnier-the bunny fidgeting the Potty Dance while holding the fridge, Jane reacting annoyed at the bunny for putting the fridge down WRONG, OR B2!Dad noticing the mess with Stunned Silence?
• OH MY GOD THE HUMANITY. HOW THEY EXACT THEIR POUND OF FLESH.
  • For bonus hilarity, read it in the voice of Nigel Thornberry.
• Nearby, someone or something bleats like a goat for strategic purposes. And also Ironic purposes.
  • Look, Dave had like 3000 pages to bleat like a goat. He dropped the fucking ball.
  • In the sound credits, it is referred to as Sick Bleats.
• Just before that, the image of Jake running for his life away from the goatdad is funny on its own, but it's even funnier when played with Gotta Go Fast or Yakety Sax.

Act 6 Intermission 1

• For those who like their Black Comedy: "Oh god, you're right! There are still a few characters I haven't killed yet."
• Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain cloth.
• MIND FUCK
• Serenity's translated morse code on this page: YOU SUCK!!
• Jack Noir wasn't scared of PM...
• JOHN: you are like a furry now, but not really the weird kind that people on the internet like to have sex with in their imagination. JADE: D: John, WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT!?
• John writes a letter to his friends on the back of a poster, but feels it shouldn't just be crumpled up and tossed. So what do they do? Use a bucket to hold the letter, only to realize at literally the last second that trolls hate buckets "for some reason". Hilarity Ensues, along with a return of a certain famous expression on Karkat's face.
• Rose and Dave meet some of the trolls. Watch out for the Karkat on the end, too.
• Karkat jokingly freaks out at the possibility of having his eyes burned out by the Green Sun and asks if "one of you awesome dudes has a radical pair of shades I can borrow?" Kanaya obliges^note with Equius's shades.
• All of the dialogue with the kids and the trolls in front of the green sun, but the end of Rose's exposition is especially hilarious.
  ROSE: Don't be ridiculous. It won't take nearly that long.
  KARKAT: OH
  ROSE: It'll only take about three years.
  KARKAT: OK
  KARKAT: THAT'S NOT SO BAD I GUESS.
  KARKAT: WAIT, HOW LONG ARE YEARS SUPPOSED TO BE AGAIN?
  KARKAT: WAS IT LIKE TWO WEEKS OR SOMETHING?
  ROSE: Yes, two.
  ROSE: And then fifty more.
  KARKAT: FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.
• Rose talking to Dave about Maple hoof at the end of this conversation.
  ROSE: Was that the one you mentioned had a pink heart on it?
  DAVE: yeah
  ROSE: Hmm.
  DAVE: what
  ROSE: It's just that with the clarity afforded by my new abilities, it occurred to me just now that dead horse was likely the beautiful pet pony my mother gave me recently.
  ROSE: It was crushed to death by your newborn ass.
  ROSE: You bastard.
  • And immediately before that:
  KARKAT: YOU KNOW HOW EVERY NOW AND THEN YOUR LUSUS WILL BRING SOME RANDOM ASS DEAD ANIMAL BACK TO YOUR HIVE FOR NO FUCKING REASON
  KARKAT: AND THEY DON'T EVER STOP DOING THAT NO MATTER HOW MUCH YOU YELL
  KARKAT: IT'S LIKE THAT, YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN
  DAVE: not really
  DAVE: oh wait
  DAVE: against all odds i sorta do
• The entirety of the "first contact" between the two humans and the surviving trolls is almost nothing but laughs, but Terezi's sheer embarrassment over the whole thing is hilarious.
  TEREZI: 1 4M SO SORRY YOU GUYS
  TEREZI: W3 4R3 4CTU4LLY 4 LOT COOL3R TH4N TH1S!
  DAVE: are you actually
  TEREZI: ...
  TEREZI: NO
  TEREZI: NO W3 AR3 NOT
  • Possible Heartwarming Moment as well, since it's a chance for the group to behave like the kids they actually are. Especially since the trolls really haven't had that chance in a long while.
• Karkat is a walking Funny Moment, but his semi-monologue at the start of the first contact deserves a special mention. Especially since he's absolutely right:

  KARKAT: IS IT GOING TO SHIT ON EVERYBODY'S GREAT TIME IF I DARE TO BRING UP IMPORTANT THINGS NOW?

  KARKAT: IS IT SAFE TO POKE OUR HEADS UP FROM THIS GULCH OF IDIOTIC BANTER AND SEE IF THE COAST IS CLEAR FOR ADULT, BUSINESSLIKE CONVERSATION?

  KARKAT: YES, YES, HUMANS, SO NICE TO MEET YOU, AND IT SEEMS YOU'RE GOD TIERS NOW? NEAT, YADA YADA, WHAT THE FUCK EVER.

  KARKAT: JUST ONE QUESTION

  KARKAT: WE FOLLOWED THAT GREEN BEACON OF WHAT I THOUGHT WAS THE AFTERMATH OF A SUCCESSFUL BLOW UP THE SUN MISSION

  KARKAT: AND AFTER A BREAKNECK WARP SPEED JOURNEY IN WHICH MY BEST FUCKING FRIEND *EVER* PSYCHED ME OUT INTO THINKING HE DIED *YET A FUCKING GAIN* BY EXPELLING LITER AFTER GRUESOME LITER OF GRUBSAUCE FROM HIS EVERY ORIFICE

  KARKAT: WHAT DO I FIND HERE?

  KARKAT: WHY, IN ADDITION TO A PAIR OF HUMANS DRAPED IN CIRCUSWEAR AND ALL THEIR FLIPPANT GIBES LOCKED AND GODDAMN LOADED

  KARKAT: IT SEEMS WE HAVE ALSO CHANCED UPON NONE OTHER THAN THE GREEN FUCKING SUN ITSELF

  KARKAT: WHICH UNLESS MY RAW, RUDDY GANDERBULBS ARE STILL A LITTLE GRIEFBLEARY, STRIKES ME AS STILL BEING SOMEWHAT RATHER FUCKING *UNBLOWN* UP.

  KARKAT: SO WHAT AM I MISSING HERE

  DAVE: dude chill out we just got hornswoggled is all

  KARKAT: OH!

  KARKAT: CASE CLOSED

• Karkat being slowly hit by a bucket.
  • The arms really sell it.
    • Now in semi animated form with appropriate soundtrack!
  • And repeated by John with Roxy's foot.
• The letter that John places inside said bucket also qualifies; he's unaware of the fact that trolls reproduce by depositing their genetic material in buckets, and that as a result trolls consider buckets obscene. In that light, the fact that he opens the letter with "it is john, jade, and dave sprite. we all contributed to the contents of this bucket!" is nothing short of hilarious. As a whole, the letter is basically worded as awkwardly as possible.
  • Davesprite insisting on defiling the poster John writes the letter on. When John doesn't let him, Davesprite acts as if he's being denied something that's rightfully his. And then he draws on it anyway with sprite powers.
• [S][A6I1] Karkat: Mental breakdown. All of it. Right down to Rose's EYEBROWS.
  • Also, the translated text at the end. "This is stupid."
  • Finally, if you click the Nick Cage head at the end of the flash he informs you that was the plan...to give you a boner. And you got one.
    • Boner.
  • The panel afterward.

Act 6 Act 2

• And for a bit of dark humor, the first update of 2012: >Ball: Drop
• Dad shows us how the Green-verse uproots its bathtubs.
• After weeks about wondering about the other three letters in R??? Lalonde and D??? Strider's first names, we finally get some more information. Specifically, we know one more letter: their names are Ro?? Lalonde and Di?? Strider. Teasing Creator at its finest.
  • And just when we're about to find out Roxy's name... a cat's tail is covering the last two letters. HUSSIEEEE!
  • And again with Dirk's name and a miniature Maplehoof. Hussie has all the Trolling Creator credentials down. All of them!
• The version of Detective Pony edited by D. Strider, starting here.
  • A fan made a full version of the modified book, no joke.
• After installing Sburb on her computer, Jane flies out of her room and onto the couch. The Reaction Shot really sells it, thanks to Jane’s Death Glare.
• You're cool with dabbling in the FINE SEQUENTIAL ARTS, and your work could be viewed by some as BORDERLINE PORNOGRAPHIC. And to those philistines you'll be heard wondering, what the fuck do you mean BORDERLINE?
• Roxy: Sip martini thoughtfully.
  • DELICIOUS
• Squarewave's reaction to losing to Dirk in a rap-off:

   SQUAREWAVE: DAMN DOGG WHY AS A ROBOT I GOT TO BE SO PREDICTABLY SUSCEPTIBLE TO LIQUID LIKE THIS. IT AIN'T COOL!!!

• Dirk and the Autoresponder working together:
  GG: Are you typing your most important instructions in red now?
  TT (Autoresponder): Yes.
  TT (Dirk): No.
  GG: ...
• The truth about uranianUmbra:
  TT: What I'm asking is, have you ever written stories about us?
  UU: .....
  UU: yes. u_u
• Roxy recommends that Jane loosen up:

  TG: jc your are the tightassiest tightass who ever tightened up an ass

  • also
  TG: jane i am afraid
  TG: that ur bottom
  TG: is a stubborn clam
  TG: guarding priceless treasure
  TG: and a deadly secret
  • and who could forget
  TG: just dont wait too long
  TG: and dont underestimate striders wiles
  TG: nor jakes...
  TG: lets say
  TG: open mindedness???????
  GG: Well,
  GG: He does often profess his love for adventure, I suppose.
  TG: yuuup................
  GG: Omg.
  GG: I really don't have a moment to spare, do I?
• An incredible portion of [S] Prince of Heart: Rise up. It is filled with Call-Back power, from a very large number of pages, often with humorous twists: at one point, Jake taunts Robo-Dirk... only to get five thumbs down, a la [S] Dave: Abscond. The look on Jake's face is priceless.
  • The Prince is awake. Your shit is wrecked.
  • Jake's Eye Glasses flying off. True to the trope, he has no eyes underneath (but he's not Blind Without 'Em as bad as Velma, effortlessly picking them up off the ground).
• Jake asks Jane whether she has feelings for him, and Jane panics and turns him down. The expression on her face in the following panel is priceless. As is this one after she keeps sticking her foot in her mouth. And this one.
• The Post-scratch White Queen saves Jane from Jack. And utterly destroys her aloof, dignified image in the process.
• The continued adventures of Roxy's drunken spelling errors.
• Remember [S] Ride? Here's the sequel. Complete with Ascended Meme.
• This page right here which also doubles as a sweet Call-Back to the Midnight Crew Intermission from earlier in the comic.
• Roxy and UU talking:
  Roxy: y/n
  Roxy: or shuold i say
  Roxy: y/n/u
  UU: U!
  UU: i choose U!

Act 6 Intermission 2

• "Hold still, Slick".
  • "Its fresh from the Butler's teat, you just watched me milk it!"
  • "MS. PAINT! Is that soup ready yet? He's being a dick."
  • "Also can you bring me some gauze? He stabbed me again."
  • Ms. Paint seems so happy to serve Jack.
• Karkat opens another memo.
• After finishing his conversation with future Karkat, Karkat proceeds to respond to the memo that he had created ten minutes ago because he wants to antagonize a version of himself that's 10 minutes away. What really hammers it in is the chat bubble above his head, which shows Karkat yelling at Karkat, who's yelling at Karkat, who's yelling at Karkat...
• This clever bit of Sophisticated as Hell:
  KANAYA: No
  KANAYA: See Im Explaining This Badly
  KANAYA: All Im Saying Is Basically
  KANAYA: Just
  KANAYA: Fuck That Guy
  • It's better than that. In context it goes like this:
  DAVE: yeah see i knew there had to be a perfectly harmless and unerotic explanation
  ROSE: (shh!)
  KANAYA: No
  ...
  KANAYA: Fuck That Guy

• Then there's the coffee machine - aka the Instant Revitalizing Machine from EarthBound.
• Rose reveals that Dave was checking out their mom — months ago, in a dream, and she never said a thing about it. ;)
• Dave and Karkat's most recent interaction ends with Karkat grabbing Dave's cape, and Dave telling him to knock it off, resulting in this:
  DAVE: i cant believe i seriously just said dude dont touch my cape to somebody and was serious about it
  • Before that:
  KARKAT: EVERYBODY OUT OF THE GODDAMN WAY.
  KARKAT: I GOT A LAB FULL OF HUMANS, A MOUTH FULL OF YELLING, AND A TORTURED PSYCHOLOGICAL PROFILE FULL OF TOTALLY HYSTERICAL EMOTIONS AND UNAIRED GRIEVANCES AT PRACTICALLY EVERYBODY.
  DAVE: karkat is broken guys
• To paraphrase...
  Karkat: Dave, read this trashy troll romance novel. It will fix everything.
  Dave: No. Hell no.
  Rose: *yoink*
  • It's not just Rose's utterly hilarious expression that does it, but the fact that she grabs the book and runs away without moving her arms or legs at all.
  • Moving back a few updates, there's this. Not only is the image itself ridiculous, but the following conversation consists almost entirely of Karkat trying to explain the nuances of troll romance while Dave keeps getting distracted by the absurdity of the cover.
  KARKAT: THE GUY ON THE LEFT IS AN OLD CALIGINOUS FLAME FROM THE MALE LOWBLOOD'S PAST, AND HAS REENTERED THE PICTURE. AGAIN, NOTHING OUT OF THE ORDINARY. HE CAN CONTINUE TO COURT HIS MATESPRIT AND KISMESIS WITHOUT CONFLICT. IT'S A PERFECTLY AMICABLE ARRANGEMENT THAT EVERYONE'S TOTALLY DOWN WITH.
  DAVE: what is that huge beefcake troll even doing
  DAVE: is he grinding against the little dudes shoulder what is even going on
  DAVE: why the fuck is he nude
  • There’s also a small but dense block of Troll-speak on the cover. Given what we know about Troll media, that might actually be the book’s TITLE!
• This update to this update. That's pretty much all there is to say on the matter.
  KARKAT: FINE TAKE IT!
  DAVE: no
  KARKAT: WHAT??
  DAVE: were still drawing
  KARKAT: LET GO
  • Also this exchange
  • Penis Ouija. That is all.
    • Hilarious in Hindsight: Made even funnier when you see Calliope's theories over the meaning of the art and how two people fighting over a pen while one tries to draw penises is a dead ringer for her brother's artwork.
  DAVE: were running out of room rose can you turn the page for us
  • You cannot beat Strider in a counter-troll-off. HE IS SIMPLY THE BEST THERE IS!
  • This is eventually followed by Kanaya silently and wordlessly wondering about their desperate need for an auspistice, and, presumably, the fact that it will almost inevitably be her, with a confused "what the hell" expression on her face.
  • Karkat getting wrapped in Dave's cape, forcing Dave to suplex him in an attempt to get free.
• John's no-romance plans for meeting back up with his friends:
  JOHN: when i catch up with our buddies, i'm sure i will give rose a nice, FRIENDLY hug.
  JADE: aww
  JOHN: whereas i will offer dave a tender bro embrace, and shove karkat down a flight of friendship stairs.
  • And seconds later Jaspers is meowing John the birthday song, and pissing off Dog Tier Jade in the process. Chase ensues.
• John's face getting trampled by Dream Roxy. Bonus points because it calls back to Karkat getting hit in the face by a bucket AND Jake's dreambubble meeting.
  • It then results in the Running Gag where it zooms in to heart emotes or similar next to a character's face. It happens to John here, only because of his Celibate Hero status it's... him making a silly face.
• Hussie saves Spades Slick from Lord English...by hurling him off a balcony, on top of what is apparently a very, very tall building.
  • He also rushes SS to said balcony using his hilarious "throttling Doc Scratch" animation.
• Irony: Hussie's doing it wrong.
  Hussie: You have underestimated my omniscience almost as badly as I overestimate it as a matter of daily routine.
  • His Cluster F-Bomb when he remembers that Doc Scratch only ever put one cueball in his gun.
  Hussie: How ironic, that your very demise would be in the proximity of some horses. What? You didn't follow that? Just think it over. Think it over...
  Hussie: WHILE YOU DIE SHIT SHIT SHIT, OH SHIT. FUCK. SHIT SHIT FUCK, I FORGOT.
  • Also, he throws his gun at Lord English. It bounces right off while Lord English's expression doesn't change.
• Hussie proposes to Vriska. Hilarity Ensues.

Act 6 Act 3

• Dirk's Auto-Responder explains to Jane just how tight he is with Lil Sebastian.
  TT: He and I are linked the hell up cyberwise. We are so tight. Tight like you wouldn't believe.
  GG: Oh yeah?
  TT: It's like he is the Incredible Hulk's pants, and I am his monstrous package yearning to bust loose.
  GG: Blehhhh, why??
  TT: Jane.
  TT: It seems there is a way bigger than average probability that you do not want to discuss Bruce Banner's megalithic gamma schlong.
• Jane's possible responses for meeting Gamzee(?) and being asked if she would like for him to be her guide are "No" and "Fuck no." Even Jane, who's never met him before, already knows he's trouble.
  • Jane cautiously approaches Gamzee. Crosses the Line Twice with Tear Jerker and terror?? Check. Mixture of Squick and Black Comedy?? Double check. Lampshade Hanging the forums' talk about how he got his new clothes with shenanigans? Triple check. The ability to click on his codpiece? Quadruple check. The Dissonant Serenity of the music?? Quintuple check. Jane's reaction to everything?? Sextuple check, and oh so priceless. Anything else missed??
• GAMZEE WHAT THE FUCK
• Say hello to your wonderful new guide, Jane!
  • This page. Hoooooooooonk.
• Jake and Dirk give us this little gem:
  GT: Pardon me but do i SOUND like some trollycar bellwether toiling in the heart of the mustache belt from the ruff n tumble year of nineteen aught nine???
  :TT: ...
  :TT: He said unironically.
• Ladies and gentlemen, the third anti-christ.
  • While we're at it, we have the Violent J and Shaggy 2 Dope Administration. Although it's filled with horror, there's a lot of Refuge in Audacity and so many crossed lines.
    Andrew Hussie via Twitter: a line i seriously just wrote in reality: "People were less prepared for a double juggalo presidency than they ever imagined."
• Another gem between Dirk and Jake:
  TT: Either you get your shit together and put the moves on this dead space vixen or I start fucking with your cortex and make you pop a dream boner.
  GT: NO PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE DO NOT GIVE ME A BONER DIRK!!!
  TT: Sorry Jake. The plan's in motion.
  TT: Next stop, Boner City.
  GT: SO THAT WAS THE PLAN ALL ALONG???
  GT: TO GIVE ME A BONER???
  TT: And you
  TT: ...
  TT: ...
  TT: ...
  TT: ...
  TT: Got one.
  GT: YOU MOTHER FUCKER!
  • Don't forget Jake's hilariously over-the-top response.
  GT: OH...
  GT: OH TEE HEE A FALSE ALARM I SEE VERY FUNNY COOL GUY!
  GT: I THINK YOU ARE FULL OF SHIT!
  GT: YOURE BLUFFING YOU DONT EVEN HAVE THE POWER TO GIVE ME A PHANTASMAL ERECTION!
  TT: Jake, please.
  TT: Members of the juggalo party aren't the only ones who can pitch a big tent.
  GT: THEN GO AHEAD! MAKE MY FUCKING DAY!
  GT: IM READY FOR YOU. YOU THINK IM AFRAID? ILL TAKE YOUR BONER MAGIC LIKE A MAN!
  GT: IM NOT ASHAMED! I WILL STAND TALL AND PROUD AT FULL MAST IN FRONT OF THIS PRETTY ALIEN!
  GT: DO YOUR WORST YOU BASTARD!!!!!
• The entire conversation between Dirk and Jake is made more hilarious with the reveal that "Dirk" is just a figment dreamed up by Jake. Jake is having an argument with himself. And losing. Badly.
  • Not to mention that it seems he's having said argument in front of Aranea.
• Jack: Start Jailbreak Adventure. Complete with Lampshade Hanging and Self-Deprecation all over the place.
  • CD's attempt at sending Jack help along with the message, "You're welcome." With a picture of him winking.
  • The Running Gag of Jack killing the guards making his own escape harder.
    That is not how you convince someone to do something. You're supposed to save the stabbing until AFTER you intimidate him into doing what you want! How exactly is a dead guy supposed to pick up some keys for you?!
  • Being the other guy, who happens to be a sentry Jack just killed, which acts as a Relax-o-Vision from Jack fighting a regulator lug.
  • You be the other guy again while they beat you senseless.
• This. By far the most casual flash yet. Oh yeah, and the shot of John kissing Gamzee. Jane's WTF reaction upon seeing it, is pretty much the same as the viewers.
  • Hussie getting laid out by Vriska in the exact same way that Kanaya did to her (also the first time we see the Huss of Lips actually have lips.)
    • Two panels prior is this, which is almost identical to Jack's ascension, Awesome Music and all... but DD stops it saying "that little number was too big for its britches."
    • That whole moment counts as both this and a Moment of Awesome, with DD's completely chill demeanor (he even spins the Ring of Power on the table!), Jake's expression while he's sleeping, the aforementioned John/Gamzee moment and Jane's horrified reaction, Vriska beating up Hussie, PM fighting Jack with a spade behind her and a heart behind him, and the overall timing of the thing matching with the lyrics to the song perfectly.
    • And in the midst of all this, we have the return of the shot of Hussie throwing his gun at Lord English (complete with LE's unchanging expression), whilst the singer is going on about an incident where they aggrieved several robbers.
• The Draconian Dignitary transforming into the Draconian Dignitary.
• Jane's Dad has officially gone overboard with the notes.
• uu has Dirk draw him some porn. It is much funnier than anyone could expect. After two pages of "porn" so tame and non-sexual you could print it on a cereal box, we get:
  uu: IT'S NOT AS TITILLATING AS I DESIRE.
  uu: HAVE THE MALE EAT THE CHILD.
  TT: (link).
  • Dirk is clearly not enjoying this◊. It's even funnier due to these events being contrasted to his epic battle against an army of robots in his relative future.
    • From the expression, he looks bored, making it even more amusing. He would clearly be happier if he was allowed to draw saucier acts.
  • The fact uu ends the game when Dirk gets into male boner and Nicholas Cage territory is another crowner too.
  • "Your eyes. Are an ocean. Your breasts. Are also an ocean."
  • Jane serenades Roxy by singing the Ghostbusters theme.
    • *pornspire*
  • And then Dirk basically spends a whole page whining at uu because he didn't get to draw himself with Jake.
  • The "pornography" is the background for Roxy's handheld computer. We're obviously not the only ones who laughed.
• After uu's rather dark Mood Whiplash, we get Aranea losing her seemingly perpetual cool when she finds out all hell broke lose on the purple moon between Meenah, Karkat, Dave, and Kanaya in the few minutes she was gone to pick up Jake.
  • Then, Dave asks Rose this:
  DAVE: (rose whos the john looking kid)
  ROSE: (I think it's young Father-Grandad Harleybert.)
  DAVE: (what)
  • Hell, just the entire meeting sequence. The moment poor Aranea manages to stopper one wellspring of insanity, another springs forth.
• Meenah approaching and backing off ad infinitum.
• Meenah and Karkat:
  MEENAH: that guy!
  MEENAH: nubbyshouts
  MEENAH: that guy is cool!!
  KARKAT: THANKS, WHOEVER THE FUCK!!!
  KARKAT: BYE.
• Roxy: Le zzz.
• _(^q^)_
  • Throughout the conversation, her various creative snoring sounds
    zzzzzznort,,..
    *SNOAR*
    lol snork ;D
    • And in the midst of this conversation, this little gem:
    ROSE: (I still remember some things.)
    ROSE: (It was actually pretty similar to the way things have been for the last year on this meteor.)
    ROSE: (There wasn't very much to do.)
    ROSE: (But there was a house full of liquor.)
    KANAYA: (Whats Liquor)
    DAVE: SHIT
• Before Aranea's Info Dump, Meenah begins a shorter version.
  • And Meenah's conclusion.
    Meenah: now were ghosts the end
  • In between, Meenah's plan works perfectly.
    BETTER LUCK NEXT TIME
• Aranea is utterly enraged by the above event, and sarcastically gives summaries of the lives of all the A2 Ancestors. Ampora and Makara's really stand out though:

  ARANEA: Ampora was a pirate. No8ody liked him. He killed a lot of people, 8ut was later executed 8ecause he was una8le to tell a funny joke. What else needs to 8e said? That's right. Nothing.

  ARANEA: Makara was the guy who didn't like his joke. He was terri8le and so is his story. Period.

  • Also:
    ARANEA: Pyrope cut off my arm and arrested me, 8ut I killed her. This triggered a karmic cycle of revenge which led to the eventual 8linding of her descendant.
    ARANEA: Sorry, Terezi. Them's the 8r8ks!
    TEREZI: W41T
    TEREZI: WH4T?
• Out of a slight misunderstanding of the situation, Jake believes Meenah is the Batterwitch that will take over the Earth despite being dead and a different version, resulting in him engaging in a fight in the belief he is being heroic in saving the world. Hilarity Ensues.
  • Dave's many names for Jake in this passage only add to said hilarity:
    DAVE: oh shit grandpa egbert juniordad totally snapped.
  • Also Meenah is still too busy fangirling over the Condesce to care.
  • And we have this gem from Dave, whilst Jake is ranting about what the Batterwitch did:
  DAVE: what
  DAVE: juggalos
  DAVE: rose is he drunk too
  DAVE: what is going on
• Terry: Fast forward to Liv. Rest In Peace, Con Air bunny.
  • Don't forget the secret flash
    • Boner.
• Jane's Puppy Love returns!
  • And this is in the middle of the Red Miles trashing everything around them.
• Jake finds the White Rabbit! Oh, and Jane, too.
• Roxy converses with UU, then UU shares her drawing of Roxy.◊
  • Don't forget her reaction.
  TG:!!!!!
  TG:ssdlkjfs;lkfjdlskfj
• Calliope trying to analyze the pages covered in dicks that Dave forced Karkat to draw.
  • And then casually confirming that she and her brother share the same body.
    But the fact that he's a slob was never exactly breaking news to anyone. Neither is the fact that you both share a body. I mean come on.
• The surface of the planet is covered in shitty jpeg Statues of Liberty.
  • The Planet of the apes fakeout, and the fact all them statues seem to be trying to light their torches on the sun.
  • The look on Calliope's face is priceless.
• Jake's a ROCKETMAN!
  • This Is Stupid.
• After a Heartwarming Moment with Dirk saying farewell to the people in the dream bubble and taking the sleeping Roxy with him, Dave seemed to have finally realized who Dirk is.
  • The fact that Dave of all people is making that face just makes it better.
• Dirk stopping to high-five Meenah in the middle of a dramatic scene is hilarious due to the sheer over-the-top-awesome mood whiplash and incongruity.
  • Roxy couldn't quite bring herself to kiss Jane. So Dirk kicks her out of the way and does it for her. The look on Roxy's face is hilarious.
  • Then, after Jake kissed Dirk's head, he notices that Dream Dirk, Jane, and Roxy are behind him. Once again, Jane and Roxy's faces are priceless.
  • Jane doesn't quite get to stand up straight on the board, does she?◊
  • Squarewave yelling out "YEAH DOGG!!" when Dirk goes to corpsesmooch Roxy.
• The Page class outfit has speedos!?
• Terezi revealing to Dirk that he's now visible. Made all the more funny due to her rather up-and-personal sniffing of him in the previous pages.

Act 6 Intermission 3

• In the first part of the Intermission game:
  • If you go left of Aradia and return, she will point you right. Using Jake's "double pistols and a ;)" motion. Complete with *nk-nkt* sound effect and a cheesy dimpled smile.
  • When Aranea wishes Meenah good luck in her plans, Meenah calls Sekret the best and gives the funniest animated smooching motion ever seen. Gets better realizing she's a sea-dweller pouting like a fish face.
  • Meenah finds a sewing machine in a chest near Kanaya. Just as Meenah believes she can sell it for big bucks, Kanaya stares her down, scaring her to return it back into the chest.
  • Dave shooting down any attempt to be him.
    • Also, Dave owning Meenah for her forced sense of self-esteem.
    • Dave_EBubbles on Twitter!
  • Hussie hides from Lord English in one of the chests.
  • Kankri having an endless lecture (I mean, conversation) with Karkat on troll-related Social Justice issues relating to blood color, while all Karkat can do is just stand there and stare blankly.
    • Kankri referring to the conversation as an essay, lecture, sermon, and word dump at various points.
    • It's also amusing when he manages to butt in on a conversation on the other side of the map.
  • Rose ninjas away a troll romance novel from Meenah, despite being on another map entirely.
  • Meenah runs into Hussie in the first room, and he urges her to bring him a horse. A treasure chest in the third room contains Spades Slick's ruined horse hitcher. If you take that back to Hussie, he will follow you around like a Pikachu for the rest of the game. Much to Meenah's horror. As an added bonus make Hussie follow Meenah and then open the chest that Hussie was hiding in.
  • Meenah finds Scottie Dogs in a chest. Considered a delicacy, she can make big bucks, but eats some instead. Totally Worth It.
  • Ask Latula to join, and she responds with...a handplant on her skateboard, complete with her legs animated and up in the air.
  • When Kankri talks to Porrim, it starts off as a social justice debate which Porrim abruptly interrupts to point out the grubsauce on his face, and then yell at him when he wipes it on the sleeve of the sweater she made for him. The result is Kankri with Fireball Eyeballs. Even in the Pre-Scratch universe she was mothering him.
  • Aranea's Peanuts-style exposition booth.
    • Aranea being so obsessed with her duties as the Exposition Fairy that she is actually willing to pay people to listen to her.
    • Ask her about Porrim, and she eventually reveals she had a red fling with her for half a sweep. Her and Meenah's reactions on this are priceless, ending with a Precision F-Strike by Aranea:
      ARANEA: I'm glad you're a good guy this time. You really were hatched to 8e SUCH A 8ITCH!!!!!!!!
  • The tumblr #hashtags that appear under the various chats of the characters, working as both inner monologue and Lampshade Hanging.
• After the first mini-game, Hussie shifts the focus to John, since we haven't seen him in a while. There's about fifteen pages of build-up and zooming into John's house. But, instead of something epic happening... John and Jade are watching Con Air.
  • John then has the SHOCKING REVELATION THAT... that the movie actually really sucks. It's the two's faces in the panel that really sell it.
• Davesprite has a ghost butt.
• Davesprite leaving a note on John that parodies the "fatherly notes".
  if you are reading this it means you have finally come to your senses on a way shitty movie. by realizing cage sucks you have taken your first and biggest step towards not being a total embarrassment to the egbert family name.
• John rages so hard he actually passes out.
• Pretty much every new character in Part 2 of the Intermission game could qualify for this page: Mituna (a parody of Imageboards), Meulin (a parody of Tumblr Fangirls), and Kurloz (whose Lord English cult, while horrifying, is even more hilariously surreal in its language than Gamzee's), and Cronus (who's just an exaggeration of all of Eridan's worst traits).
  • Kankri jumping into conversations out of nowhere whenever something potentially "triggering" is said.
  • Meulin and Kurloz signing in animated gifs.
  • The fact that Gamzee's codpiece from his God Tier outfit shows up in this game as an important item.
  • Also, in that update, you can be Gamzee's ancestor and find Gamzee himself. Eventually, Gamzee tells his ancestor to shut up if you talk to him... AND HIS ANCESTOR NEVER SAYS A SINGLE WORD.
  • While Kurloz mind controlling Meulin is incredibly terrifying, the fact that she still uses cat puns and tags while exhorting Lord English is actually pretty funny.
  • Mituna's introduction: like Latula, he is first seen skateboarding along the rails to land in front of Meenah. However, his ends with him falling on his face, and he stays there on the ground until you become him.
    • Later, Meenah tries to give Mituna some encouraging words after she stops Cronus from abusing him. Mituna has one of his outbursts, and Meenah remarks, "Well, at least no one can say I didn't try." Mituna's response? a "YOU TRIED" Star image!
  • As Cronus, you can open a hidden chest to find Hussie, who offers to date him and starts following him around. But if you then talk to Cronus' lusus, Hussie will tell Cronus he was just using him to get close to his seahorse and rides off on its back.
  • Kankri is mostly a dick in this section, but he does have one spectacular CMOF calling back(/forward) to The Sufferer...
  N9w j9in me in tagging 9ur discussi9n with righte9us warnings, as we c9nsecrate y9ur disadvantage in the h9ly annals 9f Pr96lematics.
• The return of Rose's eyebrows. And then, the Unsound Effect as she disapears, winking at John.
  distaction
  • Jack's reaction to Rose's appearance. He ducked inside the dreambubble to have a rest and it all, karmically, backfired.
• And then there's the outcome of John's attack: a familiar RIDICULOUS HAT on Jack's head.
  • If you didn't notice the other possible outcomes of the final roll, these in particular stood out:
  1 PONY STAMPEDE
  2 T-REX
  3 ELF
  6 MCCONAUGHEY
  • And then there are John's reactions to both the attack and the appearance of PM: ladies and gentlemen, John Egderp is back.
• We now see that John has headed over to the Land of Sand and Zephyr/Land of Maps and Treasure area and has encountered Tavros. Tavros has been shown sleeping next to the ring that Hussie had earlier and John picks it up only for Tavros to blurt out that he's proposing to Vriska who may/may not be his matesprit.
  • John hiding the ring behind his back and Tavros trying to grab it, but his hand keeps being swatted away by John.
• Vriska starts expositing on things such as Lord English just like Aranea.
• Tavros and John are NOT very good at whispering.
• In the third part of the intermission game:
  • Rufioh's speaking style is exactly like Dante's on tumblr, right down to calling Meenah gangster like Dante called Rose and Jade. Looks like we have something else to wait for him to get up to... (Looks like he found out already.)
    • Furthermore, Rufioh's comment that Meenah is the only one of his friends who hasn't hit on him. Going by that, we can assume that Kurloz, Mituna, and freaking Kankri have all made a pass at him.
  • In the final room, Meenah comes across Hussie who is angry that John stole the ring he proposed to Vriska with. Meenah offers to sell him one of her own...for the price of $2,485,506, the exact amount raised by the Kickstarter. Hussie wavers, but ultimately agrees, asking her not to tell anybody since he promised he'd use that money for something else.
  • Most of what Damara says when you translate it into English. As well as what she does say in English.
  • The name of Equius' counterpart - Horuss Zahhak. Say his name out loud and then remember what Equius has a huge obsession about.
  • If you open the door as Kanaya, switch perspectives to Damara, and go to the exposition stand, you can talk to Hussie about the character profiles. They're all pretty funny, especially the one for Rufioh, which is more or less directed at Dante Basco.
  • Horuss finds a rather disturbing PRICELESS WORK OF FINE ART, and then solemnly contemplates it while a censor mosaic tries to cover it up, only to keep missing.
    "Perfect! Phew, crisis averted. That was a close call. You very nearly caught a glimpse of horse penis and began to cry."
  • The interaction between Dave and the two Karkats.
  • Kankri's referee whistle.
  • MEENAH: aranea we are such failures at stuff together
    MEENAH: why are we such a couple of gorgeous and sexy failures at things
• Ladies and gentlemen, it is plainly apparent that Rose has gone full Roxy.
  • Dave's reactions make it even funnier.
    DAVE: well shit
    DAVE: looks like i wandered into a really weird uncharted side of town tonight
    DAVE: its called the drunk rose district
    DAVE: and i am scared out of my fucking mind
• Just Rose's face here.
  • Followed by her epic fail at kissing Kanaya.
• Hussie you rat bastard. You shattered our trust in the sacred [S].
• During the "Mini-Strife" between all of the incarnations of the Alpha and Beta Trolls, if you look closely in the crowd of Trolls, you will see an Equius in a maid outfit. (Look near the bottom of the screen, just right of center.)
  • John's "8D" face near the beginning. And the fact that his expression doesn't change at all, even when he begs Meenah to "put the pokey thing down".
  • The part of the Mini-Strife where Meulin and Nepeta immediately go to each other to start talking about shipping, as well as Cronus hitting on Eridan, with the latter admitting that even he is disturbed by him (mostly agreeing to a date to get him to leave him alone). The strife as a whole could also be an example of this, with the sheer absurdity of what has to be every single timeline of the trolls (at least the ones not Deader than Dead), both pre- and post-scratch, joining up in a strife against the other group/costume party.
  • Equius getting his sweat into a "large plurality" of Aradiabots, much to the consternation of living Aradia.
  • In addition to the maid Equius, there's also Sailor Damara and Tuxedo Rufioh, March Eridan, Tavros in Vriska's fairy dress, and a Kankri in footie pajamas. And keep an eye on the background...
  • Porrim is not impressed with Horuss's equine nature.
    Ah. Go+tcha. Hey guys, can I be o+n the o+ther team?
  • I HATE THE AFTERLIFE I HATE THE AFTERLIFE I HATE THE AFTERLIFE I HATE THE AFTERLIFE I HATE THE AFTERLIFE I HATE THE AFTERLIFE I HATE THE AFTERLIFE
  • S9ME9NE IS TRIGGERING ME. THIS NEEDS T9 6E TAGGED.
  • And Gamzee shows up for no reason.
  • And Damara asks, "WHAT IS THIS? A HALLOWEEN ORGY?"

Act 6 Act 4 and Act 6 Intermission 4

• The fact that the entirety of A6A4 was a single flash showing a look into the future full of Noodle Implements. Jake's also has a Sweet Bro tattoo to match with Dirk's and Jack Noir is still stuck in jail.
• Though you'd expect the "Caliborn Intermission" to be packed with horrific stuff from the start, it's actually not surprising, given Caliborn's traits as a character, that it starts out as a darkly entertaining examination of his thought processes, a la Bec Noir's accessorization sequence. The best bits:
  You truly are a free, adult man, and you are so, so proud of yourself.

  You love having a dead sister. Having a dead sister is an experience you would highly recommend to everybody.

  It's hard being a cherub and growing up with lots of weird magical rules that nobody understands and have no discernible origin or purpose.
  It's hard being a cherub and growing up with lots of weird magical rules that nobody understands and have no discernible origin or purpose, and nobody understands.

  You wonder if the kingdom has gotten around to having a... what do the humans call it again? Some sort of ludicrous cadaver festival. Just the typical kind of sentimental horseshit cooked up by races of people who actually live in each other's proximity. They often exhibit such bizarre tendencies that result from esoteric things like "culture" and "tradition." Aliens are so strange.
• The background shenanigans here.
• Caliborn meets Gamzee, who offers to be his guide. Both of the buttons are simply Caliborn's bewildered face. He and Gamzee stare at each other for a few moments... and Caliborn blows Gamzee away. While the casual music continues to play.
  • He continues to shoot Gamzee for three pages. While walking past him. Each of those pages is a Flash that plays the same sound effects and casual music as the first. And when the shooting seems to end and the body collapses on the ground, Caliborn makes sure to Double Tap.
    • "Caliborn. Caliborn what are you doing. Stop it."
• Caliborn talks to the narrator (Hussie) through the tower console. Because of the locked Caps Lock key, Caliborn can't use his quirk and throws a fit. Why? Because, surprisingly, he never actually uses Caps Lock to type it, thinking that "IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE A TRAINING KEY FOR RETARDS...MAYBE ALSO FOR GIRLS. FOR WHEN THEY GET HYSTERICAL AND MAKE THEIR LETTERS SHOUT."
• The line "You can't keep down the clown." There's something about it that's just inherently funny.
  • And the fact that Gamzee's still alive not because he's God Tier, but because he's a clown.
• Gamzee turns out to be not quite dead, and he crawls over to Caliborn, still eager to help, carrying a power plug box... And Caliborn, in response... Opens fire. Again. With the very same casual music.
  • Hussie starts to lose his patience and threatens to play the music every time Caliborn shoots Gamzee.
• And now Caliborn has to deal with a trackball mouse that his thumb claw keeps slipping on while twisting at an awkward angle to see what he's trying to get at.
  Caliborn: I AM SO. SO. PISSED OFF AT THIS. WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS NIGHTMARE.
  Hussie: I dunno. Someone who thought it'd be funny watching you struggle with a shitty trackball mouse welded to a counter?
  Caliborn: I DEMAND TO KNOW. WAS IT YOU. IT WAS YOU, WASN'T IT.
  Hussie: Maybe.
• Not to mention that said mouse is WELDED to the countertop.
• Hussie officially pisses Caliborn off so much that he swears to kill him. Hussie, of course, already knows this will happen (since it already did) and decides to use it to piss him off some more.
  Hussie: Kawaii me to double death bro!
• Gamzee offers Caliborn Crowbar's crowbar. After Hussie lampshades its newly discovered property as a major Chekhov's Gun, Caliborn proceeds to give zero shits about that fact and so smacks Gamzee with it so that he can get around Hussie's "Elevatorstuck Rule," since it then only applied whenever he shot Gamzee. Guess what? Hussie changes the rules and plays the music anyway, except now he's locked the volume control button, it's louder, and it has the effect of scraping the audience's collective ears. Then Hussie adds the following:
  Hussie: I just want you to be friends with him, and stop beating him into a coma with a crowbar. Or riddling his sad floppy body with full metal jackets.
  Hussie: Although I will admit it is hilarious every time that happens.
  • And then, to top it all off, Caliborn turns the crowbar on the tower. He has tons and tons of fun just making the layout of the site and Hussie's avatar from Ministrife bounce around. And though the whole page where that happens is a Flash with sound, its title is not preceded with [S], but with [!!!]. As Caliborn muses while he wrecks the site,
  Caliborn: WOW. THIS IS JUST. THE MOST FUN THING.
  Caliborn: I LOVE THIS MAGIC PRESENT. YOU KNOW WHAT. THAT CLOWN?
  Caliborn: MAYBE HE'S NOT SO BAD.
  Caliborn: I MEAN. ONCE I BROKE HIM IN A LITTLE.
• Behold, Candy Corn Caliborn! Surely the deadliest Denizen in the game will cower in fear!

---

Act 6 Act 5 Act 1

• Doubling as a Heartwarming Moment, we have, in [S] Act 6 Act 5, Jake's visibly joyful meeting with his sprite,...Erisolsprite, whose double (or is it triple?) personalities are in enough agreement that they not only make a stable sprite but are able to collectively give the finger to Jake's derpy ecstasy.
  • Apparently, he's flipped The Bird to Jake for every day of his existence, in part because Jake laughs and finds joy in everything he says, no matter how berating. This is probably not only because Jake thinks Erisolsprite's combination of universal Jerkassery and self-loathing is a comedic act, but also because the combined typing quirk implies that "sir sprite" makes a rather funny voice.
• Roxy's drinking again, at least for Jane's birthday party, as we can see by her banner, which reads, "happy birt*day janey!!!! *FUCK."
  • Turns out she actually quit the habit, but the banner's still great.
• The whole birthday conversation between Jane and Jake likely induces more cringing and tears than laughter...until Jake tries to finish Jane's half-confession that she liked him... by thinking she was trying to confess to liking Dirk. Her reaction? She utterly, literally flips a table. The reactions of Roxy and Fefetasprite are also good palate cleansers for Jake's sad, sad density.
  • Roxy also makes some social missteps when trying to calm Jane down, but she helpfully dampens the fandom's cringe factor by producing classic lines like this:
    ROXY: like his dunkass shenanigans leave behind a residue that looks like douche and tastes like douche but it aint the real thing?
    ROXY: like douche substitute
    ROXY: "i cant believe its not douche"
  • Despite the overall tone of the scene, Jane manages to be funny as she absconds using pretty much every acrobatic trick in the MSPA book.
• Caliborn and Jane's conversation, at least the first half. This moment in particular:

  GG: Oh, that's just great.

  GG: The ONE TIME we had a generic girly pillow fight, and it turns out some pervert was watching us.

  GG: I think I need a shower.

  GG: Assuming I can ever take one again in peace!

  uu: DON'T WORRY. YOU CAN'T.

  • Caliborn being unable to type positive words without spazzing out all over his keyboard.
  • Caliborn is apparently a chubby chaser. And it turns out Jane is his idea of hefty. It's clear Jane doesn't know what to be more insulted by: his rude comments about her weight, or the fact that he's stalking her because of it.
    uu: I WAS JUST SAYING. MY TASTE PREFERS.
    uu: WHEN THE BUXOM SHREW'S PHYSIQUE PUTS A HEALTHY DENT IN SPACETIME.
• The fact that Derse's Very Important Prisoner's suite is torture to Caliborn and ridiculous luxury to Dad.
  • Just the simple fact that all of the tension that was built up from when Caliborn first told Jane about Dad deflates the instant you see Dad sitting and playing with his phone is funny in itself.
  • And now it turns out he's a celebrity - and the Dersites are head over heels for his style.
    • In fact, the Dignitary makes wearing suits mandatory, and not wearing suits are punishable by death.
    • Dad's even set up a social network advising Dersites the proper way to wear hats and the like.
• The Dersite conversation about HATLIKER sitting on his hat is completely ridiculous. It culminates in Jane's Dad having to tell them that reversing the hat to unsit on it will not, in fact, reverse the damage.

  WANT_MORE_SOCKS: on @pipefan413's recommendation i withdraw my motion to unsit on the hat

  WANT_MORE_SOCKS changes status to APOLOGETIC.

• Then the Condesce shows up, sounding like... Iggy Azalea. Or Meenah.

  The Dignitary has changed his status to DOFFING HAT.

  )(IC: @The Dignitary i want ma ring back motha fuck

• Ever wonder what would be produced if Complacency of the Learned and Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff switched authors? Now you know.
  • Culminating in Roxy chastising herself with "DOINT WRITE WHILT DRONK YOU LUSHEY DUMBO".
• When Calliope leads Roxy into her subconscious memories of being B1!Mom, the second thing she notices (after her change into Mom's dress) is that garish wizard painting next to Rose's room, and she absolutely gushes over it, making a rather memorable face and gesture.
• Calliope flips out about Rose entering the bubble in the best way possible.
  • She quickly puts a stop to any potential weird mother-daughter bonding with... WAKE UP POWDER! ... RISE AND SHINE DUST!... ANTI-SLEEPING MAJYYKS. Accompanied by some truly ridiculous faces.
• And when Roxy wakes up, she finds... this.
  • And what does that Alternian text say? 'You're welcome.'
  • And then glitter spills out and Roxy cannot take it seriously at all. But then CD comes to the cell door and drops off a few gifts with his signature "You're Welcome" note. Alas, he cannot celebrate with his happy umbrella dance, which he can only perform with the help of his BULL PENIS UMBRELLA.
  • And of course, CD's wearing a truly ridiculous hat, and it's crumpled, which implies that he may in fact be HATLIKER.
• Lil Hal has set up an even more annoying Auto-Responder program for itself called Lil Hal Junior, making Roxy lose her patience with Dirk even faster than usual.
  • To clarify, this now means that the Auto-Responder has an Auto-Responder. Make it stop!
• Dirk and Lil Hal spend so much time mulling over their social and existential angst when preparing to prototype the shades that Gamzee decides to prototype Equius first without consultation. Equiusprite creeps up behind Dirk, and when Dirk turns around, they stand there for four identical beat panels before the former simply says "D —> Hello", Dirk facepalms, and Gamzee honks in glee. And then Dirk just says "Fuck it," and throws the shades in. The glorious result is revealed in [S]: Ride.
  • At the end of that flash, Gamzee is apparently so moved that he falls to his knees and cries.
  • Arquiusprite appears to be a near-perfect combination of its two personalities.
  • This is only the first of three times that they go back and forth like this, each funnier than the last.
    ARQUIUSPRITE: I'm stacked like a brick s&!#house, e%amine me with your hands at once
    DIRK: No.
    ARQUIUSPRITE: Yes
    DIRK: No.
    ARQUIUSPRITE: Yes
    DIRK: No.
    ARQUIUSPRITE: Feel my muscles
    DIRK: Absolutely not.
    ARQUIUSPRITE: Do it.
• After three pages of getting stealth insulted and tricked by Caliborn, Jake finally manages to give his own insult here.

  uu: GAY. WHAT'S GAY YOU IDIOT FUCK.

  GT: Oh right.

  GT: Forgive me i forget you arent familiar with all of my earth lingo.

  GT: Its like...

  GT: How do i explain.

  GT: You know. Its a rather old fashioned term for being jolly and festive together.

  GT: Like "that rollicking time we had scrumming the other eve sure was gay."

  uu: I SEE.

  uu: THEN YES. YOU ARE CORRECT.

  uu: THIS IS GOING TO BE GAY AS HELL.

  • It's even funnier if you interpret that Jake wasn't even aware of what he said.
• Also during their conversation, Caliborn tries to pull the race card on Jake after Jake makes an innocent comment about Caliborn having a forked tongue.
• In the midst of all the depression and juju gifting that Jane's experiencing, the Condesce predictably tries to penetrate her brain when she puts the tiaratop on...using a ghetto-fabulous riff on Lord English's call of "GIRL. YOU THERE. GIRL."
  • She then interrupts Roxy's failed chatlog with Jane by sassing her in a similarly Meenah-esque way.
• Jane Alchemizes Calliope and Caliborn's Jujus, which then fuse together into a giant swirled lollipop, and licks them, causing her to go into Trickster Mode. After seeing how all the drama she just went through made her a sobbing wreck, this is one hell of a Mood Whiplash. Even Gamzee was shocked.
  • On this page we see a wonderfully hilarious Call-Back to Doc Scratch's last words.
  S U C K E R S ?

Act 6 Act 5 Act 2

• Act 6 Act 5 is over! What's next? Act 6 Act 5 Act 2! And it starts with one of the weirdest pages in Homestuck. Keep in mind that this is HOMESTUCK.
  • For starters, it features Gamzee bonking his head in frustration, meaning the entire situation is too ridiculous for even him.
    • Even better is Caliborn's hilariously happy expression. Hussie, what the FUCK was going through your head when you made these updates?!
  • The kazoo outtakes are pretty funny too.
• Can't you sorta tell that Trickster Mode makes you batshit insane when you're exclaiming such a non sequitur as your no-longer-ambiguous racial identity, right, Jane? (Note: This is Hussie's Take That! to the Tumblr Hate Dumb that complained about the Tricksters' canon race.)
  • At least, all of this applies to the original joke. Because certain people took the joke as license to harass cosplayers and fanartists, Hussie retcons it, adding a few new dancing fruit guys to the joke in the process.
  • Jake's Big "NO!" on being told Jane is feeling positively CAUCASIAN...I mean PEACHY.
  • If you look closely at the previous panel, Erisolsprite is still flipping Jake the bird from just off-camera.
• Jane groin attacking Jake the way Kanaya did to Gamzee, knocking him out of his shoes and off the cliff while he screams HUNKy dory!. This turns him into a Trickster too...which would probably be terrifying if it made any dang sense...
  • Or if Hussie didn't obscure his Engagement animation for being too "vaguely unsettling." Instead, he has Jane wield a magnifying glass and wear her Poirot disguise so that she and the reader can look for "clues" within it. Some of these "clues" are references to his admirably gyrating bottom, which one can clearly see twerking even with the censor.
  • Trickster Mode can make so many miracles with love. Not only does Trickster Jake reciprocate Jane's affection and intentions for marriage and a ZILLION BABIES entirely, but he actually convinces her to quickly begin having relations with him...as soon as they're done with their ADVENTURE on Derse. Oh, and they kidnap Erisolsprite so he can join the ADVENTURE, and he conveys the fandom's thoughts on the matter perfectly:
    ERISOLSPRITE: fuck you, fuck my liife, fuck liiterally evverything, fuck fuck fuck.
  • While looking for Roxy, they decide that they're not "selfless" enough for trying to have Roxy only as a bridesmaid at their wedding. Their solution? She'll be the CO-BRIDE! As with Erisol, Roxy's thought on the matter falls well in line with the fandom's opinion:
    ROXY: (oh dear god)
    • Which leads Roxy to contact Her Imperious Condescension directly asking her to throw her back in jail.
      tipsyGnostalgic [TG] began pestering )(er Imperious Condescension
      TG: batterwitch pls help
      TG: my friends are completely insane
      TG: can you throw me back in jail :(
      )(IC: gurl u made your cocoon
      )(IC: DWI
      )(er Imperious Condescension logged the fuck out.
• Trickster Jane's spiral-eyed duckface is hilarious, though still part of the most terrifying sequence in the comic since the deaths of Equius and Nepeta.
• When Roxy enters Trickster Mode, Erisolsprite is in the background, lying on the gound.
  • And CD is in the foreground, with his usual "I have no idea what's goin' on" look and gets knocked down with him.
    • The sheer fact that CD looks normal in comparison to the Tricksters is amusing.
  • The rather phallic appearance of Jake's cane, its position relative to a rather physically excited Trickster Roxy, the nature of the minigame (he has to tug it), and the fact that Jane is watching eagerly is amusing, especially with the accompanying suggestive noises.
  • On the other hand, Dad looks down at all these shenanigans from his tower, and finds no amusement and no feeling but STERN FATHERLY DISAPPROVAL.
  • Poor, poor Erisolsprite:
  Erisolsprite: thii2 ii2 iit.
  Erisolsprite: thii2 ii2 my punii2hment for doiin evviil terriible thiing2 when ii u2ed two be livvin people.
  Erisolsprite: ii gue22 ii de2ervve thii2 and yet...
  Erisolsprite: nobody de2ervve2 thii2.
  Erisolsprite: nobody.
• The way Arquiusprite actually smiles when he first sees the Tricksters.
• Dirk's reaction to the tricksters:
  Dirk: Son of a fuck.
• Dirk's protests against Roxy's insistence on marriage.
  Dirk: I'M TOO FUCKING COOL FOR THIS!!!!!
  • Earlier:
  Dirk: Get away from me!
  Dirk: I have a sword!
  Trickster Roxy: SCREW YOUR MANIME SORD...........
  Trickster Roxy: MARRY ME AN HAFE MY BOIBIES!!!!!!!!!!!
  Dirk: I'll use it, I swear!
  Dirk: It's sharp!
  Dirk: And it's awesome!
  Dirk: And...
  Dirk: It's a sword!
• Leaving aside other feelings associated with the event, Squarewave does little wrong in saying "YEAH DOGG!!!" because of another Dirk/Roxy kiss.
• When Dirk engages Trickster Mode, CD is doing his "Bull Penis Umbrella" dance. Now where have we seen that before?
  • As it turns out, even the sugary insanity of Trickster Mode fails to affect Dirk's personality in the slightest.
  • And when he successfully evades, the retry options are "no" and "fuck no". (Although both still send you back to the start.)
• The "Dave Oops" expression makes its triumphant return, thanks to Gamzee's reaction to Fefetasprite exploding. Again, we're talking about GAMZEE MAKARA.
• [S] Tricksters: Alchemize. Just [S] Tricksters: Alchemize. This will surely be Homestuck's first major Big-Lipped Alligator Moment if Hussie doesn't follow this up with anything that could possibly make it relevant...
  • At least, that's what the fandom thought it was going to be. OH HOW WRONG IT WAS, for what followed was the indescribably bizarre alchemization and origin story of the Warhammer of Zillyhoo. And its six brothers and sisters. Complete with the silliest narration in all MSPA canon. (An exception to the rule, however, would be the page for the Unbreakable Katana, an artifact which happened to already be Dirk's sword.)
    Flippety dippety doo bup bup shrubber double floppy mumblescurry noodlescoop pizzabubble pizzabubble mip mip mip mip mip mip.
    
    Check it out.
    
    THE THISTLES OF ZILLYWICH
    
  • When the Tricksters do a dance around the Alchemiter, the other characters involved just sort of stand there without doing anything. This wouldn't normally be funny, but Gamzee manages to pull through again - he does nothing but stand there and stare ahead with his trademark smile, as if he has officially given up.
  • Let's not forget that on the page beginning the narration, the ominous chorus is concluded with a shot of Caliborn doing the gush pose.
• OH FUCK YOU MAKE A BUNCH OF ZILLY SANTAS.
• "God dammit. We're just gonna zoom in forever on that santa nose aren't we. Ok we're done here.

Act 6 Act 5 Act 1 X 2 Combo

• GO BACK TO ACT 6 ACT 5 ACT 1. Just the fact that you can actually go backwards on acts is on its own hilarious. The panel shown is Jane looking like she's been through some horrible experience.
  • Let us never speak of ACT 6 ACT 5 ACT 2 ever again.
• In the panel after that, Hussie and Caliborn get into an argument, since Hussie went back to ACT 6 ACT 5 ACT 1 against Caliborn's wishes. The next panel after that, [FUCK YOU] ==>, shows Caliborn "breaking" the MSPA website with Crowbar's crowbar again. And, in the bottom of the broken website is a sprite of Hussie riding on Cronus's lusus.
  • For bonus points, Jane actually reacts to the crowbar hitting the site. You can tell it's not fun for her.
• Hussie's discussion with Caliborn about how getting a star is bad for Mario's personal development is quite hilarious.
  • Why didn't he use warp pipes instead, anyways?
• After Jane and Dirk awaken on their quest beds, they have a short conversation:
  TT: Jane.
  GG: What.
  TT: What happened to the lollipop?
  GG: I dropped it. I think it fell into the crypt.
  TT: Good.
• In one of the panels of the Alphas' ascension, we get a very good frontal closeup of the ascendant Page's booty shorts .
  • Post-ascension, the first look seen on Jane's face appears to express the unease of looking at the aforementioned crotch.
    • That could be something else entirely...
  • It's even funnier when you notice Jake is also aware of the features of his new clothing.
  • And then the Prospit Duo's (completely justified) reaction to seeing Union Jack. Seriously, this is like the first thing they do after reaching God-Tier.
    • And then there's the duo's reaction to Grimbark Jade.
  • The first of the Beta Heroes to arrive is Jade, and what's the first thing she asks her Grandpa/-son about? Go ahead. Guess.
• After everything abruptly goes to hell, Roxy ends up kidnapped by an overpowered being before she can even react for the third time in a row, and the look on her face can only be described as "damn it not again"
  • There's also the Condesce's display of smug satisfaction at the end of the act. Like it or not, her bling surplus will bring about a chortle or two.
    • Suckas!
• There's something hilarious about Dirk's line "I should probably tell him that, but given how I just called him an asshole while wearing orange suspenders, I'm probably the last person he wants to hear from right now."

Act 6 Intermission 5

• Not only is Karkat using a crab-shaped walkie-talkie at the troll equivalent of sixteen years old, but he's also attempting completely serious communication with Dave over it. After failing at that, he comes upon an utterly zonked-out Terezi...who's wearing nothing but her shirt, dragon cape, scalemate-themed boxers, and suggestively indigo-colored toenail polish and is surrounded by copious amounts of horns and spilled Faygo, some of which she is drooling. So now Karkat has to face the likely affirmative answer to the question of her and Gamzee's relationship: Did They or Didn't They?
  • What does Karkat ask Terezi when he sees her? It's pretty much turning into a Running Gag at this point.
  KARKAT: WHERE ARE YOUR FUCKING PANTS?
  • Apparently she just passed out alone, since a soda addiction is like alcoholism for trolls and Gamzee has influenced her to behave more like he does. Also, Karkat's complaints and Dave's bantering about Gamzee's Cod Tier outfit are especially hilarious.
  • The Running Gag of people mentioning that they hate Gamzee. Because, fuck that guy.
  DAVE: and as for gamzee fuck that guy with a balloon poodle
  DAVE: friendship lesson secured the end
• The fact that there is now an intermission inside an intermission deserves special mention, as does the fact that it is only one page long. Hussie actually Lampshades the self-indulgence involved here as though it's only something Caliborn would claim.
  • Caliborn's reactions to meeting the Felt:
  DO THEY GET BETTER THAN THIS.
  That depends on what you mean by better.
  • And how can you ignore how ridiculous the Caltop looks? Or the fact that it appears to be used by bashing your hands against the sides repeatedly?
• When Davesprite wonders where Jade has gone off to, he considers the idea that perhaps someone fell down a well.
  • Right after the update involving Jade and Jane's brainwashing, the fandom jumped on the idea of John showing up 15 minutes late with Starbucks. On the fifteenth page after the end of Act 6 Act 5, you can see John sleeping on a couch. On the table next to the couch... there is a Starbucks cup.
  • And how about those "watermarks for the road"?
• And Hussie has, within a mere seven pages since the first sub-intermission's end, started another sub-intermission. Clover and Lil' Seb dance together like the adorable little fools they are, the Caltop is still hilarious, and Trace reveals to Hussie that the Lord of Time has committed his most heinous act yet:
  Did you kill that cute turtle?
  NO.
  But I can see your past trail.
  You're standing there holding a gun, and pointing it at the turtle.
  OK. THEN YES.
  I KILLED THE TURTLE.
  Boooooooooo.
  • And, having ended the shortest intermission yet, the comic returns to the action with a closeup on John's Adorkable sleeping face.
• Tavros asks John, "dON'T ASK ME WHERE MY PANTS ARE,,," subverting the new Running Gag of asking where someone's pants are, Vriska complains about dead Nepetas, Meenah dramatically whispers about her hunt to kill John in Melvillean overtones, and Sollux has DOUBLE EYEPATCHES!
  • Vriska recruiting a bunch of doomed timeline Eridans as Cannon Fodder is both horrible and hilarious at the same time.
• As she is wont to do, Aranea decides to launch into a major exposition as soon as she realizes John hasn't heard it. Naturally, everyone else on the ship has heard most of it already, and John looks totally clueless as to why the other trolls are groaning and facepalming. This isn't the funniest part of it, though: it's actually that Hussie teased the fandom with this cliffhanger as the last update before a five-day hiatus.
  • The return of Caliborn making his derpy "WORLDBUILDING." face.
• The $10,000 reward tier for the Homestuck Kickstarter was for your fantroll to appear in Homestuck, but you had to donate $100,000 for them to survive past one panel. Two people donated $10,000, and surely enough, their fantrolls are completely obliterated just one panel after appearing in the comic.
  • Keep in mind, even if the fandom scrounged up the 100K to have one character survive past the first panel, where' the guarantee that said character would have lived past the second?
• Feferi and Nepeta are back, and they're dressed as pirates.
• The entirety of the "interfishin". While Meenah goes to relieve herself, the other trolls inexplicably start playing musical instruments to the tune of Elevatorstuck. When Meenah comes back, she takes a minute to ponder what's going on before deciding to abscond back into the ship. Also, Sollux falls down some stairs...from the other end.
  • The loading screen is, somewhat unusually, of the blink-and-you'll-miss-it variety, but in it, Openbound's Peanuts exposition booth displays the signs "Gone Fishin" and "The Sylph is OUT."
  • Feferi's playing the bass.
  • The slowmo movements and very base sprites used make some parts even more hilarious. Sollux falling slooooooooowwwly just cracks me up every time.
• ARANEA: And to just as little surprise, the male child was an insuffera8le 8rat.
  • Not to mention that the "diaper" Gamzee has baby Calliope/Caliborn wearing is a codpiece too.
  • What really sells it is Gamzee's This Is Gonna Suck expression while he's holding the little monster.
• As soon as John inquires about Aranea's term for the Felt's species, "leprechauns," she immediately launches into a discourse on the species that includes explicit callbacks to Caliborn's dispute with Hussie over the species name (whether they're leprechauns or "a 8reed of gnome") and Hivebent's exposition on the quadrants (in the form of a nine-"quadrant" grid of "charms" that look suspiciously like Lucky Charms). Vriska, with great sarcasm, thankfully proclaims, "WASN'T THAT STORY GR8 EVERYONE?" just as Aranea tries to reveal a word describing the Felt's sexuality.
  • Not to mention the fact Aranea is discussing leprechauns in an update that's posted the day before St. Patrick's Day.
  • Vriska "bonds" with Aranea, while actually bonding with Meenah through silent ridicule of Aranea.
  • The closeup on Aranea's annoyed face shows she knows what's going on behind her and she's not amused.
• Terezi looks like she's been through the wringer several times.
  • Karkat forgetting the dancestors' names to the point that "THEY WERE ALL NAMED CARLOS AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED," sitting in a chair in much the same style as the Big Man◊, and then having a tantrum about said chair that prompts Dave to say:
  DAVE: i just won karkat tantrum bingo
  • Karkat telling Terezi that he knows about her tryst with Gamzee:
  KARKAT: EVEN IF I DIDN'T FIGURE IT OUT MYSELF, WHICH I *DID* BECAUSE IT WAS *OBVIOUS*, YOU ARE UP HERE ON THE ROOF LYING UNCONSCIOUS IN A PILE OF HONK HORNS AND FAYGO BOTTLES.
  KARKAT: I AM NOT A MASTER OF DEDUCTION, BUT UNLESS YOU WERE RECENTLY STOMPED ON BY SOME SORT OF GOLEM COMPOSED OF GARBAGE FROM A CIRCUS, IT SEEMS FAIR TO SAY YOU ARE OFFICIALLY DOWN WITH THE CLOWN.
• Dave's ramble about communism, also making a Fandom Nod regarding the nickname of the John/Karkat ship.
  DAVE: just dont come after my boonies^note boondollars dude
  DAVE: or should i say karkat marx
  • Karkat soldiering on with the intervention.
  REMEMBER PANTS?? YOU USED TO LOVE PANTS!
  • Terezi's heartfelt confession of how guilty she feels about killing Vriska is interrupted by Karkat's crab walkie-talkie nipping her toe. There is no-one who whiplashes moods quite like Hussie.
• When Hussie suggests that Caliborn have Crowbar "hold on to something important," Caliborn ultimately concludes that he's going to give Crowbar...a boomerang. Hussie also reveals, "Clover has always been pretty flirtatious, hasn't he?" and so advises Caliborn to consider "a [STAR HEART HORSESHOE] relationship" with Clover. Caliborn's response is to justifiably spike the caltop on the ground and refuse to partake in the charmrom madness.
• John learning about Aradia's motivation for searching for the weapon to defeat Lord English.
  ARADIA: i think i mostly want to see what happens when this whole place breaks apart
  *Beat Panel*
  JOHN: oh my god, you are all so insane!
  • Aradia sends John running to Aranea. As Sollux put it:
  SOLLUX: w0w aradia, y0u actually sent the guy running t0 hear a serket st0ry.
  SOLLUX: that was a REALLY impressive creep 0ut j0b, nice.
  • Additionally, if you try to replay that update: why
    • The fact that it has the interface of a [S] page in general despite not being one counts as well.
• Also, John asking what the story is about:
  JOHN: ok. what's this one about?
  JOHN: ogre sex, or salamander shipping, or something?
  ARANEA: Nope! Although I would 8e happy to tell you all a8out those topics another time.
• When Aranea mentions "two powerful rings" John (and the reader) immediately pictures Jack and PM. Aranea sees John's thought bubble and tells him that those aren't the rings she's talking about. Probably for the best, since if she were talking about the backstory for those rings we'd probably be getting a recap of Homestuck's first five acts.
• The reader's not the only one to realise what the rings in Aranea's story are. Vriska does too, and promptly proceeds to flip the fuck out:
  VRISKA: THAT FUCKING GUY!!!!!!!!^* Translation: HUSSSSIIIEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!
  • She then mind-controls two Cronuses to run into each other, with a big SLAMPORA. Mituna is watching, but falls over of his own accord.
• While it's happening at the worst possible time, it's rather awesome seeing Tavros stand up for himself. The funny part is that Sollux is convinced to follow suit. And he takes Feferi and Nepeta along for the ride like a boss.
  LADIES.
  • In a similar vein to the update mentioned above, if you try to replay the flash for the 3/25/13 update, it moves as soon as you hover over it. It does this several times, bouncing and stretching wildly before finally disappearing. In its place? Nic Cage's face in the middle of the screen.
  • Relatedly, Vriska's attempts to convince/force Feferi and Nepeta to stay, pointing out that she gave them naval ranks... only to discover that the ranks she gave them are actually higher than the rank of Captain she gave herself.
  MEENAH: god damn for a pirate you really know fuckall about nautical junk
  MEENAH: pretty embarrassing tbh
  • She also mentions that she thought "rear admiral" was an ass joke.
• Kanaya encounters a drunken Rose, whom WV has enlisted to help him relocate Cantown. The entire exchange is golden:
  Rose: [It] Is our responsipility to carry the torch through the abyss whilest keeping it lit, and hic...

  And set it pupon the harth of the newd world.
  Kanaya: I Think The Torch Is Not All You Have Managed To Keep Lit
  • And Rose is Late to the Punchline regarding that exact remark.
• Kanaya's Flat "What" when Rose says that the Mayor is the smartest person on the meteor.
  KANAYA: Okay That Was Literally The Most Inebriated Thing You Have Ever Said
• Rose is so drunk even her ellipses are misspelled.
  ROSE: .. .
  ROSE: ...
  ROSE: ,,. ..
  ROSE: . .
  ROSE: ,....
• Rose asks Kanaya if she's going to break up with her. Kanaya's response?
  KANAYA: NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
• Caliborn keeps assuming that Hussie's talking about intercourse when he refers to "sexing" the Felt, who he now refers to as "frog men:"
  I'm not there, so I can't sex them to be sure.
  YOU FUCKING PERVERT.
  That's not what sexing means you little shit!
  I'D LIKE TO CHANGE THE TOPIC. AWAY FROM THE LUST YOU ARE FEELING FOR MY HANDSOME FROG MEN.
  • And Hussie lets Eggs' name slip when he asks Caliborn to find him. The update was posted on Easter.
• While this flash is for the most part creepy, it has yet another replay button gag: if it's clicked, a bunch of other replay buttons come on the screen and most of them repeat the same half-startling, half-hilarious HONK made at the Flash's end. But unlike with the previous replay gags, there's an actual replay button, and it's near the top left corner.
• Meenah makes a heartfelt confession to John... While Aradia stands next to them with a Slasher Smile.
  • This is then followed by a Flash where John's sprite quite spasmodically moves onto the platform. This is followed by an ending that includes yet another Nic Cage replay gag.
• Vriska opens the chest containing the Juju Lord English gained from killing Yaldabaoth. This is the accompanying narration:
  And with Vriska's sassy flourish of Dramatic Irony, it suddenly becomes evident to anyone with a brain that we aren't going to see what the treasure is for hundreds, if not thousands of pages. So why don't we stop wasting everyone's time, shut the lid on this lousy MacGuffin, and be Viceroy Bubbles Von Salamancer.
  • Made even funnier by one of Vriska's lines on the previous page:
  VRISKA: Only a complete asshole would make us w8 any longer to get a look at this thing.
• Viceroy Bubble Von Salamancer summons undead minions using the CROOK OF FRAILTY. We are then given a choice to name an undead minion.
  >Clattersworth
  >Bonebone
  >Captain Nibbles
  >Fossilbee Oldington the Third
  >Mr. Ribs
  >Skulligan Malone
• Vriska's had it with Hussie's Trolling Creator ways and decides that she's just going to hurry up and reveal the treasure, subverting The Unreveal. So she just dumps it on the floor and messily explains what it is, before telling Hussie to suck it.
  • The reactions of the others make it even funnier. Especially Aradia ":D" Megido.
  • Then John opts to dismiss the whole outburst, since he and the others had no idea of who Vriska was talking to.
• Finally we get an explanation to all the arms.
  • What makes it even better is that none of those arms were even there before that update was composed.
• After John's foray into Retconjuration, he literally vanishes in a flash of light. While Vriska sits there slack-jawed, Meenah's trident flies through the space. Bonus points: this is the third time she's attempted to impale him.
  • What she says when John vanishes just in time really sells it, since it seems she's more annoyed than anything.
  Meenah: dammit.
• Caliborn meets Eggs and Biscuits.
• Andrew also lets slip why he invoked Spotlight-Stealing Squad during Vriska's arc: to spite her for rejecting his marriage proposal.
• Spades Slick opens the wrong door while in Doc Scratch's apartment, and comes face to face with the Scary Wolf Head. Predictably, he is quick to close the door.
• Some of the Felt play a game they invented, known as "Table Stickball". Crowbar is the only one who realizes they are playing pool.
• Just before leaving Scratch's derelict apartment, Spades Slick pauses to set it on fire. Again.
  • While it's in the middle of a giant sun, no less.
• Spades finds out that the "escape route" leads to what appears to be the middle of nowhere. His reaction is quite funny.
• The incident with the little Sburb icon results in John teleporting all over the Homestuck multiverse and reacting to everything he encounters. Highlights include his reaction to the infamous Dirk / Jake volcano kiss, The Dolorosa hissing at him, and his teary expression when he finds himself somehow transported into Con Air.
  • He then finds himself inside the latest sub-intermission, and he and Caliborn have an INTENSE STAREDOWN before Cans knocks John straight out of the panel. A page briefly uses John as a cursor before he zaps back to LOMAX.
• Another funny in that sub-intermission is the subtle detail of Caliborn's Jack stabbing Gamzee while Gamzee keeps wearing his usual look of relaxed contentment. It's the way he greets people, remember?
• When Grimbark Jade sends out her warning BARKs to the meteor crew, Kanaya hisses in the same protective fashion as the Dolorosa. And when she makes her formal appearance to them, Dave and Karkat exchange the same glances that Jane and Jake made when the Grimbarkness began.
  • Right before that, Karkat's hysterics when Dave points out that no one actually figured out how to safely stop the meteor they are riding on before it crashes into Skaia.
• The fourth anniversary update is a flash, which features John reuniting with the others... as a complete afterthought.
  • John is bored out of his mind waiting for the others to arrive and starts doing random things (among them making a homestuck logo out of playing cards, watching Con Air and other things) only for the others to get teleported right as he apparently yells something to the heavens. The fun part? They all get teleported in mid air around him and fall to the ground. His face really sells it.
    • Don't miss Erisolsprite's appearance near the beginning.
    • And John's Adorkable slimer boxers!
    • But then you also remember that Casey somewhere nearby summoning an army of the undead. Something good's gonna go down.
• John's face upon seeing his friends after so long simply cannot be expressed in words. So, have a picture instead.
• Caliborn decides that the comic should end here and that there should be no Disc 3 so as to spite Hussie. He then lets out an epically long Evil Laugh while copying Hussie's signature pose.

---

Act 6 Act 6 Act 1

• HOMESTUCK IS NO MORE. Enjoy this masterpiece, written solely to introduce Caliborn's magnum opus, HOMOSUCK. It's not like you have any choice in the matter, anyway.

Act 6 Act 6 Intermission 1

• Roxy's exchange with Jade, regardless of what's on the line. Highlights include "SNORKELBITCH MEGAHITLER," Roxy describing her title, and Jade's disturbingly violent threats against Roxy (for the Black Comedy fans in the audience).
• Dave claiming that he misses non-crazy Jade is a heartwarming moment that he quickly ruins in the most hilarious way when he corrects himself by saying "less-crazy Jade".
• John interrupts Dave while he's reminiscing about his "ironic selfies." And by reminiscing, we mean unironically laughing his ass off at them.
  • Also a Heartwarming Moment.
  • Before that, we have WV being crowded by Nakodiles.
  • Prior to that, Dave's brief rant about the intellibeam laserstation, or more accurately the uselessness thereof.
  Dave: id throw it in the lava but that would be a waste of melting
• Shortly after John disappears again, Dave turns around to see Jade. This would be Nightmare Fuel if it weren't for the following exchange:
  JADE: hello dave
  DAVE: god dammit
• In order to create a weapon capable of harming Lord English, Jade alchemises Dave's Royal Deringer with a cueball, only for it to produce... Caledfwlch. That's right, the sword he originally broke, which Hephaestus then turned into the Deringer.
  • Dave promptly loses his shit and proceeds to rant about the stupidity of his quest, while Jade tries to calm him down.
    JADE: omg
    JADE: youve really spent way too much time alone with karkat havent you
    DAVE: ...
    DAVE: i need help :(
  • And just before this, when Dave and Jade are arguing over whether the cue ball looks like an egg.
    DAVE: just cause i think its an eggy looking thing dont mean i think like a damn bird
    JADE: mm hmm
    JADE: and just because i have these pointy ears doesnt mean i wouldnt kill for some snausages right now!
    DAVE: .....................
    DAVE: do you actually want snausages
    JADE: .....................
    JADE: maybe ._.
• Due to Karkat's death being Played for Laughs, John's reaction◊ is just priceless.
  • The same goes for Kanaya's, John's, and his own reactions to his subsequent resurrection.
  • Goddammit Karkat, couldn't you at least have died with a little more dignity?
  • After being brought back to life, what does Karkat do? Hide from Jane, behind a rather ticked off looking Kanaya no less.
• Rose decides to make a joint Alcoholics/Faygo Anonymous for her and Terezi. She calls it Rainbow Rumpus Rehab Town.
  • Rose wearing Terezi's shades and Terezi's reaction to it.
• Arquiusprite torturing Dirk by talking about muscles and troll breasts.
  Dirk: I hate everything you have to say about all topics.
  Dirk: Especially muscles.
  • Followed shortly afterwards by his incredibly poor prioritisation when mentioning things like "there are two Daves here and one of them is a sprite".
• Jade attempts to provoke Dave by pushing WV into LOHAC's lava. It backfires.
  Jade: why is being a bad guy SO HARD?
  • Dave's entire conversation with WV after the rescue is funny, but of note is Dave, of all people Shoosh-Papping WV and cuddling up with him.
• Karkat learned the hard way not to mess with Jane. It seems the lesson has stuck.
  KARKAT: (whoa, kanaya)
  KARKAT: (could you maybe not give the psycho fork girl any more ideas???)
  KANAYA: I Am Not Scared Of You!
  KANAYA: None Of Us Are!
  KARKAT: (i kind of am)
  KANAYA: Karkat Shut Up!
  • On that same page:
  JANE: Silence, buster.
  • Jane then continues to talk normally, revealing not only that she could always do so in her current form, but that she would deal with Kanaya as a "businesswoman." And just what does she deal in? "Potion" sales. To the tune of "Elevatorstuck.At exactly 419,999,580 boondollars above cost per bottle.
    • Kanaya uncomfortably buys them due to her rainbow-drinker habit (which she's ashamed of). Highlights include Jane shaking her head at her as she takes the money.
• John accidentally appears in the past, screwing up the timeline (somehow). Dave, being the time guy, is understandably pissed, and give us this little gem:
  DAVE: john youre fucking shit up here
  JOHN: what?
  DAVE: you being here
  DAVE: thats not supposed to happen
  DAVE: all this shit were saying now
  DAVE: its not supposed to go down like this i can feel it
  JOHN: i know!
  JOHN: i'm sorry, i would zap away again, but i don't know how!
  DAVE: i dont think it matters now dude the pooch is already screwed
  JADE: >:o
  DAVE: wow wait that was a terrible figure of speech in this context but you know what i mean
• Because the character select screen keeps glitching, Hussie compensates the reader with a repeat, in full, of Aranea's leprechaun romance exposition, including the later parts that Vriska interrupted. (Un)Fortunately, those parts are almost entirely glitched, but this is the available legible content, starting with the originally interrupted sentence. Note that she lifts much of this description from a certain Dave pesterlog in Act 2:
  8ut first it 8ears pointing out that while for humans reproductive relationships are exclusively heterosexual, and for trolls they are 8isexual, for leprechauns they are exclusively homosexual. Yes you heard right. That means the Felt are all super gay. A graphic description of the reproductive process is as follows:
  weird frog penis
  muppet 8uttock
  chafing
  wriggling
  puppet pelvis
  magic gnome phallus
  elf eggs
  8urrowed fuck deep
  perky pro8oscis
  coarse kermit cock
  dragged across each other's gleeful faces
  wrist deep in puppet ass
  pro8oscalypse
  soft 8ul8ous 8ottom
  kind of jutting out and impudent
  • Doubly hilarious is the fact that Hussie added black artifacts, essentially thwarting the main method fans had been using to decode the glitched text.
• The return of the MSPA Reader... contemplating suicide from seeing John and John in a staredown and instantly picturing makeouts.
  It still keeps happening.
  You come to the sobering realization that things will never stop from keep happening constantly.
  And you can't take it anymore.
• Jake wakes up in a jail cell and demands that Jane tell him what the Condesce wants, why Jane is doing her dirty work... and why she gets a cool costume while his doesn't have pants.
  • There is something disturbingly funny about this.
  JANE: You're lucky you're so hot.
  • And a bit earlier:
  DIRK: Hey.
  DIRK: Did you shave your legs?
  JAKE: (No i think the magic god tier fire burned it all off...)
  DIRK: God damn.
  DIRK: They're so smooth.
  DIRK: A car could swerve outta control on those gams.
• John meets up with Roxy. During her imprisonment she built a little pyramid out of Generic Objects and proceeds to mess with John a little by pretending to be a sphinx.
  • John then tries to recap his adventure to Roxy. Of course, Roxy isn't paying much attention because she's considering John's potential as a boyfriend.
  • Roxy's response when John mentions her name for the first time:
  ROXY: roxy huh
  ROXY: sounds like a babe
• This gem:
  ROXY: how in the loop are you on cherubs?
  JOHN: oh!
  JOHN: surprisingly, i know a LOT about that subject.
  JOHN: for instance, did you know they turn into gigantic snakes when they have sex?
  ROXY: :O
  ROXY: :O
  ROXY: :O
• When John comes home to find the Ring of Life missing, Caliborn comments on it.
  • And then we see the green curtains. We all know what that means.

Act 6 Act 6 Act 2

• In ACT 2 of HOMOSUCK, we are introduced to "THE ALPHA MALE" (Dave), who, according to our illustrious narrator, "HAS EXCEPTIONAL TASTE IN PUPPETS" and gets all of "THE BITCHES," including his sister, his mother, Jade, and Jane. How convenient that the narrator claims, "IT DOESN'T MATTER," with regard to the taboos of incest, promiscuity, and, most terribly, inserting characters who aren't supposed to show up until much later.
  • And then it gets even more ridiculous when John TELEPORTS INTO HOMOSUCK.
  John: oh dear god.
  • The fact that John can teleport into Homosuck? That most likely means that Homosuck is an actual alternate timeline.
• Caliborn has made the "LAND OF SOMEONE'S HANDICRAFTS I TOOK."
• John Egbert's incomplete horse ride. The whole thing, from beginning to end.
  John: YA! YAHHH!!! FLY, SHIT BISCUIT! FLY!!! NO, YOU DUMBASS! NOT THIS WAY! GO DOWN! DOWN I SAY!!!
• The Alpha Male forges a sword out of the "SMUT" Dirk drew for Caliborn. The tameness of the "FILTHY HUMAN PORNOGRAPHY" certainly doesn't stop John from channeling the elf from Jailbreak and crying upon seeing it, though.
• Upon seeing Caliborn trying to get bogus Dave and bogus Rose to make out, John completely loses his shit. Caliborn counters by attempting to drown him out in bogus Dave dupes.
  John: I'M GONNA FUCKIN KILL YOU!!!!!!!!

Act 6 Act 6 Intermission 2

• There's something oddly funny about Gamzee cursing up a storm when Aranea ceases control over him to see if he'll obey her of his own free will.
  • And Aranea's response: "No."
• There is something funny about the sight of Karkat roasting a hummingbird skewer over a fire.
• Jane radios Jade to come to Derse. The next panel? An even closer shot of her weird Simpsonesque mouth. Especially funny when viewed right after a similar, if less disturbing, closeup of Meenah's mouth appearing a few panels earlier.
  • In their respective lines, they say essentially the same thing:
    MEENAH: we got a whale of a problem here.
    JANE: We potentially have a problem that is rather significant in size.
• The same style shot is used to cold-open on Jake having an Erotic Dream about Avatar, and Aranea walks in on him.
  • Aranea then proceeds to slowly lean in for a kiss, but Jake squirms at this advance in a way that's both heartbreaking and incredibly silly.
• Amidst Aranea healing Jakes mind and unlocking his power, we suddenly cut to Jade and Jane, commenting on how Jade's ship was stolen... and inappropriately parked.

  JADE: maybe we should call in some authority regulators to have it ticketed and towed

  JANE: If you really wanted to relocate the vehicle, couldn't you just.

  JANE: You know. Teleport it somewhere else?

  JADE: yes

  JADE: but i love watching those guys write their little tickets

  JADE: theyre so cute

  JANE: Indeed.

• In spite of all the mayhem arising from Aranea unlocking Jake's full power, we get a panel where Roxy is just nonchalantly laying in her cell which is now full of "perfectly generic objects" along with PGO's halfway developed into matriorbs.
  • When Roxy turns invisible and escapes we get this:
    ROXY: Shazam!
• The first thing Jake says in his fully realized, "angelic" form as Page of Hope, in massive, flaming, glowing letters:
  TALLY HO
  • ...And pretty much everything he says afterwards. Turns out his ultimate form only speaks in dated, hammy interjections.
  • It turns out that Jake's power is so awesome that Arquiusprite's glasses crack in the process of attempting to fathom it. He thus sweats profusely with arousal and declares this regarding Jake's Power Level:
  IT IS E%CEEDING A CERTAIN AMOUNT IN QUANTITY
  • Jane's reaction to Jake's powering up?
    JAKE. CEASE POWERING UP AT ONCE.
    YOU'RE DESTROYING EMPIRE PROPERTY!
  • Dad's reaction to witnessing these events is to display STERN FATHERLY CONFUSION?
  • Jade's attempt to focus on zapping Jake away fails because she can't resist Female Gaze:
    i didnt ask for this jake!
    i never wanted to see my grandpa in a sexy pair of underpants!!!
  • The mere fact that the above line actually manages to make sense in context.
  • Jane and Aranea... aren't as amused by Jake as the audience is, to say the least:
  Jane: Good gravy. Can't you shut him up?
  Aranea: Sadly, no.
• Really, Dave? Of all the things you could make your wrist communicator look like, you chose this?
• Grimbark Jade realizes the fatal flaw in her cunning plan.
• Jade's death via falling tower has all of its drama killed when a big Sweet Bro and Hella Jeff-style WIZORD OF OZ ("THIS IS WHAT THE REFRANCE") appears under the panel.
• After Dave tells Rose to come to LOFAF:
  Rose: Could you elaborate?
  Dave: theres problems
  Rose: Then let us bounce.
  • Instead of reusing the same weird closeup from before, the closeup on Dave's mouth is... a closeup of the line of pixels serving as his sprite's mouth.
• Jane's feelings towards Aranea for Jade's death do not manifest as uncontrollable rage and despair; instead, she just says this while making this face, as if she's simply pissed and annoyed to an extreme:
  JANE: First of all.
  JANE: You've got some nerve.
  • She continues to mumble with similar anger while preparing to do the lifey thing... before everyone's favorite purple clown gets the drop on her.
• On the next page, we get this:
  ROXY: whore you
  ARANEA: I 8EG your pardon?
  ROXY: u heard me bitch
• When Gamzee hops on Jane's back and refuses to get off, she drops an all-caps, Jive Turkey Cluster F-Bomb so massive that it would make Karkat blush. It gets even worse/better when Gamzee begins to grope her.
• Brain ghost Dirk, instead of having a health vial, has a fakeness vial.
  • After brain ghost Dirk materialises, Jake lets out another exclamation, to which Dirk simply says, "Not helping, dude."
• SH O3
• Dave's reactions to these events are pure gold.

  DAVE: whoa yeah

  DAVE: terezi with the dropkick ambush from the fuckin sky

  DAVE: go terezi kick his ass

  DAVE: still dont have the slightest clue whats going on here but i fully endorse this turn of events

  DAVE: terezi do you know whats going on here

  DAVE: do you know what happened to jade

  DAVE: and where the hell is karkat

  DAVE: is he ok

  DAVE: terezi

  DAVE: terezi

  DAVE: ok she looks pretty serious about stabbing that clown

  DAVE: i can respect that

  DAVE: what about you

  DAVE: hey

  DAVE: hey johns hot mom did you see what happened

  DAVE: shit i mean

  DAVE: johns evil mom

  DAVE: did you happen to...

  DAVE: damn

  DAVE: ok that was a really embarrassing and inappropriate freudian slip there

  DAVE: dont think im gonna rebound from that one

  DAVE: im uh

  DAVE: im gonna stop talking now

• Just as Jane has had enough entertainment from watching Terezi attempt to kill Gamzee, she resumes her struggle to resurrect Jade, and she has "no cause to anticipate further impediments to this simple objective." Just one little problem: as soon as she turns around, Bec Noir, PM, and Dave are all fighting over the body.
  Jane: Son of a dick.
  • Heck, just the way she says that she has had enough entertainment is great.
    JANE: Observing this tomfoolery for several minutes has been time well spent. I have no regrets whatsoever.
• Dave trying to get PM and Bec Noir to drop Jade
  DAVE: you dont think im serious?
  DAVE: im serious as a drive to the fuckin vet
  DAVE: im not joking you dumb mutts i mean business here
  DAVE: see ive got a sword too!
  DAVE: its sharp
  DAVE: and its awesome
  DAVE: and...
  DAVE: its fucking welsh!!!!!
  • And his further attempts at bribery become so much better when you remember this conversation.
• Jane attempts to summon GCat for a First Guardian showdown with a toy mouse, but all GCat seems to want to do is play with said toy mouse.
  • The deadpan looks PM and Jack give make it all the better. You can practically hear Dave's Flat "What".
• After Jack and PM initiate the chase, Dave repeats his prior Freudian Slip about Jane directly to her and follows them. Jane, surprisingly flattered blushes brightly
  Jane: Hot mom?
• Karkat and Kanaya trying to keep up with the action, with both of them agreeing that almost everyone but them being able to fly is bullshit.
• He may be beating the shit out of Terezi, but Gamzee cavorting and capering around like a jester while doing so is nothing short of pure gold. "ATOMIC DOUBLE JUGGALO BACKBREAKER!"
  • The close up of his codpiece is absurdly funny - especially considering that Jake gets to see it shoved in his face.
  • Rose considers stepping in - then realizes with horror that Terezi and Gamzee are in a kismetic relationship. She thinks the No-Holds-Barred Beatdown Gamzee is giving Terezi is foreplay.
• In the midst of shit going down, Jake is comically knocked back by Rose's magic - and he doesn't bother to get back up by the time the curtain closes on the Act.
  • And not just any curtains, but the HOMOSUCK curtains. Meaning that when the GIGAPAUSE ends... (see next folder)

Act 6 Act 6 Act 3

• After a whole solid year without Homestuck, the curtains open to reveal Caliborn's copy of How to Draw Manga, of all things.
  WELCOME BACK.
  • and after that page crashed due to too many people going to read the update, it changed to:
  WELCOME BACK.
  (AGAIN.)
• ... culminating to reveal that Caliborn's art style has improved... marginally. He is now a master of shitty manga, and has an actual deviantart page.
• It gets better: he then goes on to showcase his new "creative prowess" by drawing a yaoi comic of Dave and Karkat, or rather "Alpha Male and KrabKrab" which quickly is revealed as an excuse plot for him to introduce his interpretation of some of the troll girls, namely Vriska, Terezi, and Nepeta - and rant about why they in particular are sucky characters. He then shows off his abysmal self-insert (complete white electric wings) who he then immediately ships with the HTDM cover girl, who he describes as the only worthwhile female in existence and just like his sister, but more submissive to him he realizes what he said and tries to backtrack on saying he doesn't find Calliope actually attractive until he gives up and just erases the whole thing, with John teleporting in the background.
• John calls out Caliborn on all the stuff he does as Lord English, including "a trillion people dying, and universes blowing up, and all my friends getting scattered around and acting like idiots, and my dad being dead!" It should be a suitably awesome moment (and it is), but then:
  John: ok, maybe you're not totally responsible for us acting like idiots, most of that is on us! but all that other bad stuff is your fault somehow, isn't it!
• Caliborn's reaction at the end of [S] Game Over. He mimics the audience's reaction perfectly of 'What the fuck just happened!?'
  • Caliborn and John's fight, which includes slapping, Caliborn giving John a wedgie, John ripping Caliborn's cape in half, and Caliborn's hilarious expressions.
  • The overture showing John reaction to Caliborn's questionable pieces of art, in true Homestuck style. Visibly flinching at the images of Yaoi!Karkat and fanservicey!Nepeta moving towards him are standouts.

Act 6 Act 6 Intermission 3

• This brief act consists mostly of death, death, and more death (with most of the humorous moments of [S] GAME OVER being part of A6A6A3 rather than A6A6I3), but there are a few other funny moments of note:
  • The look Kanaya gives Karkat when he runs up to fight Gamzee.
  • The second 10/25 update has John teleporting to the ruins of the planets where the battle took place. His response?
  John: what the fuck happened here?

Act 6 Act 6 Act 4

• After Caliborn's beatdown by John, he has an epiphany of sorts and declares to reinvent himself in preparation of crafting his 'masterpiece'...and then he promptly demands income through Kickstarter and Bitcoin parodies.
  • His attempt to sound more sympathetic is also pretty funny, in a dark way:
  THIS IS THE WORST THING THAT'S EVER HAPPENED TO ME. AND BEAR IN MIND THAT ONE TIME, MY LEG WAS BITTEN OFF. AND I TRAGICALLY LOST A SISTER TO MURDER.
  • The QR codes on Caliborn's "Cal Coins" actually work, lead to the home page of Homestuck and a document consisting of nothing but "HAA HAA HEE HEE HOO HOO" repeated.

Act 6 Act 6 Intermission 4

• Although the aftermath of the battle royale on LOFAF is mostly deathly serious, once Terezi shows up, the attentive viewer can't help but notice that she stole Jade's shoes!
  • And why did she take them?
  TRZ: JOHN, H3R SHO3S W3R3 R3D, SP4RKLY, 4ND D3L1C1OUS
  TRZ: 1 4M ONLY FL3SH 4ND BLOOD
• The narrative moves back to Calliope and Jade and Jade is shown cosplaying as a troll herself.
• While the meetup between Terezi, John and Roxy has some genuinely sad moments, John's reaction to finding out that everybody he knows and loves is dead is surprisingly... nonchalant.
  John: may [karkat] rest in peace :(
• Terezi getting annoyed by John and Roxy's Ship Tease and actually making them hug before they go off to see their denizens. They have a bit of difficulty properly following her instructions, thinking at first that they should hug her, not each other.
• Jade has an "intermission" during her story and starts drawing consorts and giving them silly names. Calliope plays audience surrogate and urges Jade to continue before she gets too absorbed in the intermission.
  • One of those names? Yiffyiff.
• Jade gets to the part where John visits his denizen who, in case anyone forgot, looks like a big green snake. Jade asks Calliope to draw him but Calliope says she isn't sure it's ok for her to draw something so "indecent", so Jade draws him. Calliope, being a cherub, whose species turns into giant green snakes while mating, giggles like a schoolgirl... though she tries to keep it in.
  • It doesn't help that Jade continually makes Innocent Innuendo, which makes Calliope keep interrupting Jade's story with suppressed laughter.
• "sup"
  • Followed by a callback to Gamzee and Jane's deal offers.
• The chemistry between John and Roxy is both precious and hilarious. Take for example John talking about playing the wind a bit earlier.
  JOHN: yes, see, there's this huge organ...
  ROXY: that is almost certainly what she said
  ROXY: WONK
  JOHN: oh, shush. :p
• Terezi's death after instructing John where to retcon is darkly humorous. She draws a Chalk Outline of where her body will land right before keeling over and dying.
  • And then there's John's response to her death.
  "...God, you are so fucking weird."
• Jade and Calliope's expressions when Jane asks if she could make a trollsona too. They look both excited and kind of demented.
• John warping to the "R3UN1ON". One can assume the silence everyone else has is them trying to process through their heads what the fuck is going on.
  • Not to mention that in one panel, Rose looks rather like a sunny orange slug.
• Even though it's featuring Meenah and Vriska preparing for their eventual double-death, look at the background of this panel. Hussie is STILL stalking Vriska, and Aradia is watching the show, no doubt with her morbid grin on her face.
• As John makes changes to the timeline, he contemplates Doctor Who starring Harry Anderson.
• John zaps to the secret room in the meteor, where Terezi is continuing her investigation and Gamzee is messing with her. John appears without warning in front of Gamzee and he stares at him in utter confusion.
• John doesn't◊ care anymore.◊
  John: there. i honked the stupid horn. one more to go... terezi, are we getting to the point any time soon? i'm getting tired of all this meaningless, prankstery bullshit.
  • What makes it even better is the massive Dramatic Irony; from John's perspective, most of the stuff that Terezi is having him do seems petty and irrelevant. From the reader's perspective, it's clear that everything he's doing could have massive effects on how events play out.
  • Followed by Terezi bursting into the room John was in (causing him to be smashed against the wall by the door), carrying a bound-and-gagged Gamzee.
• Everything about Terezi◊ discovering◊ Gamzee◊.
• John needs to knock out Vriska without Terezi killing her. His solution? About as subtle as a brick to the face, or, to be more accurate, a punch to the face. And then he proceeds to engage in a confused argument with past!Terezi over what he just did, why he did it, and for some reason, giving his wallet to someone. And then Karkat shows up...
  • There's the fact that the shot of Vriska being punched away from Terezi is (counting the punch itself) six pages long.
  • The look of sheer 'WTF just happened' she has after the incident is, without a doubt, the best expression she has worn in all of Homestuck.
• This statement from Kanaya perfectly sums up the entire story of Homestuck:
  KANAYA: I Suddenly Dont Understand Anything And Am Currently Casting Sincere Doubt On The Laughable Insinuation That I Or Anyone Else Ever Actually Did For Even A Single Moment
• Kanaya is totally perplexed as to what's going on when she and Sollux come outside to see the commotion. Sollux lays it down for her Horatio style.
  Sollux:mutha fucking shenanigans.
  • Just to make it funnier, as he's saying this Sollux puts his sunglasses on dramatically only for him to accidentally put them on upside down.
  • And as one last little humorous tidbit, he puts them on over the top of Feferi's goggles, so Mister Gemini is wearing two pairs of glasses at once.

Act 6 Act 6 Act 5

• At the end of yet another Homestuck hiatus, we finally get to see the long-awaited Caliborn's Masterpiece. It turns out to be him prophesising the future of Homestuck...through Claymation Vines.
  • If you click the upper left hand corner, you'll get audio, which consists of goofy music (the same used in the Act 6 Act 6 opening flash) and Caliborn making fake sound effects. Hussie hasn't said much about who made all these, though he has implied that it's not him.
  • The fact that CALIBORN of all people is acting absolutely Adorkable for much of the thing.
  Caliborn: (THAT JUJU CHEST SHOULDN’T BE MOVING. SORRY. I BUMPED IT.)
  • Arquiusprite's appearance is heralded by, of all things, a herd of robot horses.
    HOW TRULY AND UTTERLY IRONIC. THAT MY VERY DEMISE COULD BE IN THE PROXIMITY OF SOME HORSES. WHAT. NO REALLY, WHAT. I DIDN'T FOLLOW THAT. I'M STILL NOT FOLLOWING IT, TO BE HONEST. I'LL HAVE TO THINK IT OVER. I'M THINKING IT OVER *RIGHT NOW*. AND I HAVE A FEELING. I'LL BE THINKING IT OVER FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. PERHAPS WE ALL WILL.
  • Gamzee is inexplicably torn in half again during the ensuing fight and rendered more dead than ever before when Dirk removes his soul. Unlike his meticulously detailed descriptions of how the kids went down, Caliborn fails to elaborate on it or even show how it happened despite how hard he tried to kill him in the earlier sub-acts.
• The MSPA reader has a mental breakdown over the revelations of Act 6 Act 6 Act 5 and uncovers the gun under the Suicide Stump.

Act 6 Act 6 Intermission 5

• In among the warm fuzzies of the beginning of Act 6 Act 6 Intermission 5, there are a few moments that raise a laugh or two.
  • Vriska is going through a collection of images detailing the three years with her aboard... on Vriskagram.
  • Vriska is using Gamzee as a slave, complete with an 8-ball and chain around his ankle, while the others look on.
  • Dave and Karkat are playing on a hopscotch board that was drawn by the Mayor. Dave takes the chalk... and draws a penis with it, prompting Karkat to give him a look.
  • As Rose and Kanaya read through a book on quadrants, Vriska gets some coffee and sits down with them with a shit-eating grin on her face, to the bewilderment of the former two.
  • The Vriska x Meenah ship still happened in a Dream Bubble... and this Vriska encounters the pair of them. Both parties are very confused.
• Karkat, Dave, and John reunite, and promptly choose the single most awkward conversation topic possible: romance.
  • Karkat believes that John may actually have blackrom feelings for Terezi. John is not happy with this revelation:
  John: n... no!
  Karkat: A FAIR REBUTTAL. BUT, CONSIDER THIS COUNTERPOINT: Y... YES???
  • When the topic shifts around to Dave and Karkat's relationship, Karkat responds by ranting for twenty lines straight about how much he wants to discuss anything else while dangling his upper body over the edge of the platform.
  John: dave, i'm pretty sure we're making karkat uncomfortable now.
  • Followed by a very typical Dave and Karkat style interaction.
  Dave: bro will you get the fuck up here
  Karkat: NO!
  Dave: k suit yourself
  • And then we get this:
  Karkat: EGBERT, I HAVE NEWS FOR YOU.
  Dave: whoa hes back!
  Dave: all right side up and everything
  Karkat: I HEARD YOU WERE TALKING ABOUT QUADRANTS, SO I DECIDED TO PAUSE MY TANTRUM.
• Rose and Roxy meet each other for the first time again, and after loads and loads of feels between the two and Kanaya...
  Dave: hey what are we all talking about over here
  Rose: Damn it, Dave.
  • Dave's ongoing Freudian Slippery Slope dealing with suddenly having a mother now.
  ROSE: Dave, even I'm having less trouble referring to Roxy by her name consistently, and I was the one who grew up knowing her as my literal mother.
  ...
  DAVE: see rose yall worrying about nothing as usual
  DAVE: moms fine with it
  DAVE: moxy
  ROXY: snort
  • The sudden appearance of Rosesprite is so out-of-nowhere that it bewilders everyone, Vriska throws a tantrum over the waste of a kernelsprite, and Rose eventually collapses into a giggle fit with an edge of hysteria over how meaningless this obviously is given that even her powers couldn't see it coming.
• After an argument with Vriska, the incredibly goofy expression on Karkat's face is truly a sight.
• And Dave continues down the Freudian Slippery Slope with his opinion of Jane.
  DAVE: lets reboot all trains of thought starting now
  DAVE: how much longer til his hot moms awake
  DAVE: mom
  DAVE: i mean his
  DAVE: not mine
  DAVE: his mom not my hot mom
  DAVE: my mom i mean
  DAVE: fucking hell
  DAVE: not my mom his
  DAVE: johns hot mom
  DAVE: JESUS
  • The icing on the cake: that update was first posted on Mothers Day.
  • After Dave wonders if the chained-up fridge contains apple juice:
    ARQUIUSPRITE: I already asked if she had milk in there once, plus another nine redundant times after that
    ARQUIUSPRITE: I also asked if she would like to touch my muscles
    ARQUIUSPRITE: The answers were ten no's and one yes
• Vriska puts Karkat in charge of creating diagrams and pictures. When Vriska asks him to draw a picture of Bec Noir and PM, he draws two extended middle fingers... which Vriska works with, drawing wings and a dog head onto them. Then, she asks for a picture of Lord Jack, Karkat draws two circles with "KISS MY SHAME GLOBES" written above them... and Vriska manages to work with that, too, drawing a head around them and adorning them with blood and billiard symbols.
  • When the time comes to hand out assignments, Vriska proceeds to Vriska all over the place, retitling Jake "Joke" and assigning him the job of handling Slick!Jack because she thinks that's least important. Karkat, who's been left until last, responds with sarcasm, demanding to know whether she'd like to assign Jaspersprite a role before him. Vriska immediately does so.
  VRISKA: What would you like to do?
  JASPERSPRITE: I would like to eat some tuna fish and cuddle with either rose or roxy or both! :3
  VRISKA: Awwwwwwww!
  VRISKA: Ok, that can 8e your very important jo8. Don't let us down!
  JASPERSPRITE: Purr purr purr. ;3
  KARKAT: THANK GOD WE SORTED THAT OUT.
  KARKAT: NOW THAT WE'VE ESTABLISHED THE KITTY CAT IS HEADING UP THE FISH EATING OPERATION, I THINK WE CAN SAFELY PROCEED TO THE RUNG OF STRATEGIC IMPORTANCE DIRECTLY BELOW THAT.
  KARKAT: THE INFAMOUS "WHAT IS KARKAT GOING TO DO?" RUNG.
• Vriska "expedites" the Dave/Dirk meetup by shooting a fenestrated plane at Dirk's face from a giant sniper rifle. When Dirk passes through it, he and Dave bounce off each other in an amusing fashion.
• Jade, Calliope, and Jane end up going down a slide...to varying degrees of success.
• Jaspersprite deciding to cuddle with Rosesprite and accidentally Tier 2 prototyping her with himself.
  JASPROSESPRITE^2: Meow meow motherfuckers.
  • Roxy's reaction to this:
  ROXY: why is everything always so wonderful
  • From the same update, Rose hopping on the Freudian boner train by greeting Jane as "John's hot mom." Jane responds in kind by greeting her as "Roxy's hot double daughter"
  ROSESPRITE: (Rose Prime, I believe you may have just been owned.)
  ROSE: (God damn Dave's contagious-ass Freudian boners.)
• The chatterbox that is JASPROSESPRITE^2 leaving everyone speechless with her truly shameless commentary. Highlights including such terms as "cookie-tits" and "pussy pancake". Rose is mortified.
  Rose: Kill. Me.
  • The panel where Jasprosesprite^2 is pawing up Calliope's skull has what may be the only Rose rage face in the entire comic.
• The comic tries to do another "chose a character" selection, but it apparently breaks down due to there being so much "choice". However, if you roll over the selections that have been completed already, you can see what the group chosen is doing. Highlights include:
  • All of Meenah's fantasies while Vriska and her dead self are arguing.
  • Dave and Dirk awkwardly loafing around.
  • John and Terezi engaging in what's apparently a very blackrom laden argument. Said arguement seems to be composed entirely of the words "shit talk shit talk SH1T T4LK SH1T T4LK. Rose, meanwhile, is just laying down fantasizing about shoving her velvet pillow into Jasprose's face.
• After a proper "choose a character" screen, the section with Jane and Nannasprite has her imparting some words of wisdom to her younger self, only for NannaspriteX2 to appear behind her and pie her in the face hard enough to send her flying backwards.
• All of Jake's silly nicknames for Tavrosprite count. He starts out with "Tavvy", before hastily backpedaling. Then, as Tavrosprite begins to sneeze again, it all snowballs.
  JAKE: Cheese and crackers tavvers what an inspirational little spiel that just was.
  JAKE: Mayhaps youve more concealed talents than you let on??
  TAVROSPRITE: nO, aBSOLUTELY NOT, bUT THANK YOU,
  TAVROSPRITE: aAA,,
  TAVROSPRITE: aAAAA,,, cHOO!
  TAVROSPRITE: aCHOO!,!
  JAKE: Tavmeister are you ok?
  TAVROSPRITE: aAACHOO!
  TAVROSPRITE: aCHOOOOOOO,,,!
  JAKE: Heavens to murgatroyd park tavenue whats the matter??
  TAVROSPRITE: aACHOO!
  TAVROSPRITE: aCHOOO,!,
  JAKE: Speak to me lobster tavioli!!!
  TAVROSPRITE: aAAAA,,,,,
  TAVROSPRITE: cHOOOOOOOOOOOO!
  TAVROSPRITE: aCHOO, aCHOO, aCHOO!!!
  JAKE: Ey! Rikki tikki tavi! Lay it on me bro... do you need to go to a hospital or what?!
• It's darkly amusing that Vriska still thinks she's under-appreciated for everything she's done "for" Tavros, since it's painfully obvious that meeting Vriska was pretty much the worst thing that's ever happened to Tavros.
• Ghost!Tavros, from the Vriska/Aranea Army plot, turns up again having built an army of ghosts. The idea of Tavros being relevant proves so stunning that Vriska has trouble processing it - she has so little respect for him that the idea of Tavros accomplishing something causes her to suffer an existential crisis. Then Tavros starts dancing. And it is GLORIOUS.
  Ghost!Tavros: SUUUUUUUUUUUUCK IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT! (dances)
• Following on from the above, Meenah is pretty enthusiastic about wanting to take charge of this freshly assembled army, and tries to fight Tavros for it. To her chagrin, he manages to defuse the situation before it can come to that. She then tries to buy it off of him, which launches him into a lengthy speech about how gold has no value in the dream bubbles.
  MEENAH: W)(Y T)(-E S)(IT IS -EV-ERYBODY A FUCKIN -ECONOMIST ALL OF A S)(ITTING SUDD-EN
• Jasprosesprite^2 attempts have a date with Nepetasprite, complete with a recreation of an Alice in Wonderland tea party. Unfortunately for her, Davesprite chooses the moment to reappear and cockblock them by shaking hands with Nepetasprite, prototyping the two of them into Davepetasprite^2.
• Jake playing with his Zilly guns in the background of Davepeta and Jasprose's conversation.
• The reunion/first meeting between Arquiussprite and Davepetasprite^2. There are almost no words. Almost.
  THIS IS WHAT THE REFRANCE
  • Hussie's ultimatum. He wants to see selfies of people next to this page clogging the internet. He wants to see the internet buckle under the weight of all these selfies, or so help him he will wipe Homestuck off the face of the earth and never speak of it again.
• Post-Omegapause, Jake's still playing with his Zillyguns! And looking adorable doing so too.
• Karkat realizes he got tricked into talking to nobody, and remarks that the last thing he wants to do is emulate Dave's monologues to nobody.
• As Davepetasprite^2 talks to Jade, she says that she's happy to see them doing well. This leads to her complaining that she doesn't know how to wake up. Davepeta does... by kissing her... except that doesn't work anymore.
  JADE: wuhh
  JADE: :o
  JADE: was that supposed to wake me up?
  DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < no
  DAVEPETASPRITE^2: B33 < that was just goodbye
  DAVEPETASPRITE^2 (claws primed): B33 < this is supposed to wake you up!
  * STAB*
• And then Jade tells the regular Dave the news upon her awakening:
  JADE: oh yeah by the way dave...
  JADE: youre a pretty good kisser!
  JADE: even when youve got cat lips ;)
  DAVE: WHAT
  JADE: see ya!!!!!!!!!!
  
• Spades Slick's various cybernetic upgrades:
  You have rocketed to this session from the FURTHEST RING, using the ROCKET ASS, which you apparently have.
  Jack. Jack what are you doing. No. You are flagrantly ignoring continuity now. I didn't give you a working cybernetic eye, stop that. Fine, you want to pretend it's a real fucking cyber eye, go ahead. What do I even care at this point. Just make shit up to spite me. It's fine.
  • We also get a reminder of why Slick is out for revenge in the first place: Lord English, the most powerful and evil being in all of existence, robbed his favorite casino.

Act 6 Act 6 Act 6/EoA 6/[S] Collide

• How does the fight start? Karkat rushing Lord English, alone. Everybody present, Lord English included, have an expression of "What in the hell is he trying to do here?" Then Lord English just blasts Karkat and the troll wakes up, confused at the anticlimax.
• The entire first half of the battle starts off complicated, and pretty soon becomes impossible to follow due to Cans punching everyone into other battlegrounds, multiple characters with control over time and space, and literally dozens of combatants of which several are determined wildcards. At one point Jade is forced to straighten out the video, which got knocked askew during a particularly violent exchange.
• The flailing animation is usually played straight as a sign of injury or distress, but it also sees use in the more comical moments of the fight, such as the fight on LOMAX getting much too crowded or Clover stepping all over Karkat. Special mention to Dave and Dirk's reaction to getting hit by a refrigerator out of nowhere - the scene cuts away to other battles, and when they're shown again a minute later they haven't moved at all and are still on the ground kicking.
• During the fight between Lord English and the Ghost Army, there is a brief appearance of Shrek, with a somehow alive Eridan on his shoulder, holding cotton candy, and smiling for the first time in the history of the comic. Seriously.^note Actually, that Eridan is dead, he just never realized it. And the Shrek cameo itself is actually a Fandom Nod.
• At one point, Tavros runs up and down Lord English's head. He reacts more with annoyance than anything.
• A few wags have pointed out that Vriska's plan was almost totally ignored, mostly because she was totally mistaken about half her assumptions (notably that Cans and Spades Slick would be inconsequential, and Jack Noir and PM would be game changers. The opposite ended up being true). Capping it off is that the initial plan had her fighting Lord English and being awesome... and Vriska's designated fight ends up being against Hussie, which warrants about ten seconds of screen time.
  • Vriska and Hussie duke it out, with Vriska punching Hussie in the dick at one point and Hussie changing art styles to flail at her like a weasel.
• Kanaya doing her lipstick and even reading a book while the god tiers get on with Fraymotifs.
• In a battle of titanic powers and massive carnage, Karkat spends most of the fight getting beat up on by Clover. When he triumphantly tosses the tiny leprechaun to the ground, it's hilariously anticlimactic.
  • His victory also causes Clover to fall in love with him.
• Most of Roxy's solo fighting, due to the sheer volume of perfectly generic objects and their execution. She punches wildly in the air, making PGO fists slam into the Condesce, bounces pumpkins around, and then creates a beautiful pony out of them and charges it at Condy. Her teammates are stunned.
• The Undertale Shout-Out during Davepeta's fight with Lord English is both Funny (due to how abrupt and unexpected it is) and Awesome.
  • Also during the fight, Davepeta has 33 HP, which goes with their typing quirk.
• The fridge Gamzee is in gets knocked around a lot during the fight, and by the end of it, he's crying. Also counts as a Tear Jerker, if you still have any sympathy left for the guy.
• Throughout the fight, Crowbar largely just sits on the sidelines watching with a mixture of confusion and weary annoyance. Than when the fight's over and Jake's beaten the Felt, we're given a hilarious reaction shot of Crowbar with his mouth agape in disbelief.
• Dad Crocker breaking out of jail and defeating Cans by hitting him in the face and gut with cake. Doubles as an Awesome Moment.
• The accidental friendly fire during part of the Condesce battle. First Roxy begins launching pumpkins and a statue at her, with John getting knocked around in the crossfire. And once she eases off on this, Nannasprite joins in by summoning a downpour of large furniture items over the Condesce - and this time John and Roxy take collateral damage.
• For a brief moment during his fight against the Felt, Jake pulls off his best Boobs-and-Butt Pose in the middle of combat. Extra points for doing this in the squat sprite proportions.
• Nannasprite delivers a vast dump of her cookies to Jake vs. Felt, resulting in both sides taking a snack break.
• When Dave and Terezi use a Fraymotif to rewind & synchronize Dirk, it briefly causes Spades Slick to be holding both the LE's Cuestaff and its rifle counterpart^note which are the same object. After a moment of utter confusion, Slick takes the opportunity to ride around pretending to joust. He stops when he realizes everyone is staring at him.

Act 7

• Amidst all the warm fuzzies of the kids and trolls winning the game, the triumph of Vriska and Alt!Calliope killing Lord English and the terror of Caliborn's rise to power, we get a few laughs here and there.
  • Karkat's reaction to seeing that the game has been won: A shrug.
  • While the gang marvels at the sight of the Genesis Frog's creation, Terezi is once again facing the wrong direction.
  • Doubling as an awesome and heartwarming moment, the fact that their new universe is basically Can Town. Only real.
  • Aradia's cameo, which consists of her doing what she said she wanted to do earlier: Watch what happens when everything breaks apart.
  • Caliborn destroying his God-Tier clock's pendulum by snapping it in half the same way Kanaya snapped Eridan's wand in half.

Credits

In a heartwarming collaboration of Snap Chat-styled photos representing the ending, there are bound to be tons of visual callbacks, with a TON of pure, MSPA-style humor thrown in.

• Near the beginning, everyone decides to go back on the meteor. What's the first picture that John takes? Dave's penis-shaped hopscotch path of course!
  • What's even more hilarious is that Calliope is examining it and is no doubt drawing the same conclusion as she did here.
• In the very next frame, we have a glorious reminder of the hilarious drunk date scene that apparently still happened^note made even funnier when you realized that they never bothered picking it up after an entire year.
• While our heroes are busy repopulating^note via ectobiology, thank Jegus you can see Roxy awkwardly staring at her own ghost slime imprint.
• Later, after legions of babies have been created, what does John say?
  JOHN: guess that's enough...
• After leaving the newborns to their destinies, they get Dave to take them forward in time to when their newly created civilization is prosperous, and John casually takes a selfie^note even though, to be honest, tine traveling is pretty mediocre compared to some of the other stuff that's been going on in the story, especially when compared to John's canon-altering powers .
• When everyone makes their grand entrance as leaders of their respective kingdoms, Jake, Dirk, and GCATavrosprite are showered in the hilarious callback that can only be known as onions.
  • And of course, Dirk remains as stoic as ever. Jake, on the other hand, looks like he's ready to party.
• Jake and Karkat having a showdown atop their respective mounted steeds would be hilarious enough if Karkat wasn't using shaving cream as his weapon while riding Jade, who looks about as happy as she did when John was kind enough to clear out her atrium for her.
• matt mcconaughcake. That is all.
• Dave slicing open a pinata shaped like Dirk with the Caledfwlch. He really has grown attached with the LPoS.
• Aww, Rose and Kanaya are getting married!^note  even though Rose is wearing a tuxedo, for some reason And look! There's the wedding ca... Calliope... did you somehow get that from Prospit's remains way back at the alpha session?
  • OH GOD SHE DID! EVERYONE, RUN FOR YOUR SANITY! ABANDON ALL- oh hey, Trickster John is canon! And Dave now has a canon Trickster mode as well!
    • Bonus points for making Rose and Kanaya, the only ones onscreen who aren't under the effects of the spiral sucker^note which has been compared to drugs numerous times, look completely stoned.
  • And now Rose is feeding Kanaya cake in the same way that Roxy and Jane did it in Dirk's "pornography◊"
    • Not to mention scribble mode Trickster Roxy looking on in adoration.
• Jade reacts to the shitty liberties. Just be glad she didn't go through what John went through in HOMOSUCK
• Jake's face while Dirk is pummeling him goes full SBaHJ mode, while in the photo captions, it's the return of the superb corny old man lines.
• It's John's 18th birthday and you know what that means... MORE CON AIR!
• While it is in a serious scene, Terezi's response when asked about the supermassive black hole where the Green Sun used to be deserves a mention:
  Terezi: 1 H4V3 NO FUCK1NG CLU3
• Jane has officially reopened Crocker Corps, and what's the logo? Not a spoon, not a fork, but a spork.
• Jake twerking on TV. And apparently, this is a regular occurrence.
• For John's 19th birthday party, they just scratched out the 18 on last year's banner and replaced it with a 19.
• And now, Rose is wearing her "troll" shirt.
• Jake's iconic double pistols and a wink.
• Looks like a Dersite who looks an awful lot like the Courtyard Droll is a photobomber!
  • Either that, or he was having trouble taking the picture.
• It's John's 20th birthday, and yep, they just scratched out the old number from the old banner again.
• While Caliborn's selfie may have been jarring, it comes with a caption that is very hard to take seriously:
  Caliborn: COME AT ME, BRO
  • John's reaction is priceless
• While he may have been intentionally mocking John, his taking lil' Seb hostage is, again, very hard to take seriously
  Caliborn: MAKE A MOVE. AND THE BUNNY GETS IT.

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