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This thread is for tropers who have trouble with English and would like some help with the crazy grammar of this crazy language.

Write down what you wish to edit on the wiki. If you have been suspended from editing, another troper might be kind enough to edit for you after your suggestions have been corrected.

The thread is for help and feedback on your own suggested edits.

If you want help correcting other people's edits (e.g., if you find a page which seems to have grammar problems but want a second opinion, or you don't feel able to fix it by yourself) then that's off-topic here, but we have a separate Grammar Police cleanup thread that can provide assistance.

Edited by Mrph1 on Nov 16th 2023 at 5:37:57 PM

jahman Since: Dec, 2014 Relationship Status: Dancing with myself
#9451: Jan 18th 2021 at 2:37:22 PM

Reality Ensues / One Piece:

  • The ultimate reveal behind why One Piece has yet to be found and the title King of the Pirates is left vacant for decades. If finding it is as conventional as island hopping, any random person would have found One Piece ages ago. We know the nature of the island of Raftel where One Piece itself rests. The catch? Reaching it requires four Red Road Poneglyphs, one of which the Minks have, and one of which is unaccounted for. The other two? In the respective possession of Big Mom and Kaido of the Four Emperors, the strongest pirates in the world. There is also needing a means of translating them once they have been obtained, the most convenient being having someone like Robin who can read Poneglyhs close at hand. Throw in the wildcards of the World Government and the Revolutionaries, and you start to picture the scope of what's happening. Never mind reaching Raftel and gaining One Piece; just trying to get there will upset the entire world order, something many will go to great lengths to prevent.

Edited by jahman on Jan 18th 2021 at 5:37:05 AM

Crossover-Enthusiast from an abaondoned mall (Lucky 7) Relationship Status: Chocolate!
#9452: Jan 18th 2021 at 5:25:01 PM

[up] That... does not sound like Reality Ensues. It sounds like Fridge.

Jawbreakers on sale for 99¢
jahman Since: Dec, 2014 Relationship Status: Dancing with myself
#9453: Jan 18th 2021 at 9:50:58 PM

This is my explanation realistic take on why One Piece hasn't been found for decades.

owlcyclops Since: Apr, 2015
#9454: Jan 18th 2021 at 10:22:00 PM

Some suggestions to the Funny Page of Terrible Writing Advice

From the Episode of "Dark Lord";

In the beginning of the episode, J.P. has an interesting take on Distant Prologue where his end with him swearing to;

I will make them buy my book or else!

From the Episode of "Action Scenes";

While the antihero is trying to pull an unflinching walk from an explosion, an rock hits him in the head, resulting him having to go an action hero ward for surgery.

Arivne Since: Jan, 2001
#9455: Jan 19th 2021 at 8:14:03 AM

From page 378 @Bootlebat

"@ Arvine are all the other examples ok?"

Yes. If I correct any examples in a post and don't say anything about the others, it means that I don't see any problems with the English in them.

Edited by Arivne on Jan 19th 2021 at 8:14:15 AM

Arivne Since: Jan, 2001
#9457: Jan 19th 2021 at 8:29:07 AM

From page 378 @Melinda

I won't post the Loving Big Damn Heroes example. However, considering that the "crime" Richard and Mildred are on probation for is entering into a mixed-race marriage, his intervention (whether it was a lie or not) is portrayed as a positive thing.

^ If that had been mentioned in the example, I wouldn't have disputed it. If you add it to the example, the example won't violate the rules I mentioned.

Is this sentence correct after I change the name Banner to Maitland?

^ Yes.

Jack is a drug-addicted and mercenary...

^ Is a drug-addicted what? Two possible ways to resolve it:

"Jack is a drug-addicted and mercenary..."

"Jack is a drug addict and a mercenary...

Yet, <- comma less than a week later, Sid can afford to bring in lots of new stock...

Sarah Jaffee has been an emotional wreck since her husband died in World War II, <- comma at least half a decade earlier. She's tortured by reminders of him lying around their apartment, <- comma but can't bring herself to throw them out.

Edited by Arivne on Jan 19th 2021 at 8:51:46 AM

Melinda Since: Dec, 2019 Relationship Status: Puppy love
#9458: Jan 19th 2021 at 8:35:28 AM

Thanks for the advice, Arivne. Here's most of my new stuff (due to a rush of new pages for Nero Wolfe books I'm at over 800 words right now, so obviously I can't post them all). I'll add a revised Loving example in a future batch. The Jack Daw mistake was an embarrassing one. I think I meant to say he was a drug addict and mercenary. Making so many mistakes on such a short post might be my worst moment in a while on this thread.

@ Mackenna's Gold

  • Awesome Music: "Old Turkey Buzzard" is a simple yet stirring composition that captures the film's Gold Fever theme.
  • Ensemble Dark Horse:
    • Hachita and Hesh-Ke are surprisingly popular for a pair of villainous elective mutes with Brownface performers. Both manage to be interestingly expressive at pivotal moments and are fairly competent throughout the treasure hunt. Hesh-Ke's status as a Jerkass Woobie Ms. Fanservice and The Reveal that Hachita still cares about his ancestral culture add to their popularity. It helps that they're played by prominent 60's tv actors Ted Cassidy and Julie Newmar.
    • Adams gets a lot of appreciation for his Back Story as the canyon's discoverer and Edward G. Robinson's performance.
  • He's Just Hiding: Of the characters not shown either escaping or dying during the cavalry ambush, most fans hope that Adams and the older Englishman get out alive.
@ Deep Blue Sea
  • Jerkass Woobie: Susan has watched Alzheimer's ravage her father, is forced to destroy the medical research she's devoted her life to, and has a couple of extremely terrifying run-ins with the sharks, the last of which she doesn't escape. However, she loses some sympathy for disregarding safety protocols while experimenting on the sharks (making her partially responsible for their rampage) and taking a while to show remorse.
@ Lizzy and Diesel @ Octopussy
  • Mischka gets an understated Dying Moment of Awesome when he sees Bond's reflection in a piece of jewelry as Bond sneaks up on him. Mischka innocuously turns on a welding torch before spinning around and waving it at Bond's face, momentarily blinding him. As Bond staggers back, Mischka nearly kills him with several throwing knives before Bond pulls a lever that drops a cannon on him. 
  • When Gogol and art expert Borchoi confront Orlov's forger Lenkin, Borchoi calmly inspects Lenkin's latest creation for a moment and then contemptuously lets it drop from his hand.
  • Octopussy manages to be an impressively proactive force during the climax. First, she gets the drop on Khan and nearly shoots him after a scathing speech. When Gobinda and two other men interrupt her, she manages to spend nearly a minute keeping them at bay before being overpowered. Finally, throughout the fight on Khan's plane, she's busy chewing at her ropes to get free.
@ ''Octopussy
  • Chekhov's Skill: A circus performer who can land on her feet after being catapulted through the air by an elephant uses this skill to infiltrate Khan's estate in the climax.
  • For Want Of A Nail: When Bond eavesdrops on Orlov and Khan plotting, he can't hear a crucial part of their plan because of the noise from Magda's hairdryer next door.
  • Ominous Multiple Screens: As Bond infiltrates Octopussy's mansion, she watches his progress through multiple security cameras.
@ A View to a Kill
  • Conley standing up to Zorin to try and keep him from killing Conley's miners, and May Day providing a surprisingly noble final scene for the Corrupt Corporate Executive.
  • Once it's safe for Bond to drop his Mean Boss disguise, he and Tibbet have some witty banter where Bond displays a sense of fondness for his erstwhile partner. 
@ Before Midnight
  • Aborted Arc: After the second murder, the five finalists disappear from the narrative, and it's never revealed who wins the contest.
  • Benevolent Boss: Susan's superiors at the Clock magazine are very supportive of her participation in the contest and accompany her to Wolfe's office.
  • Shrouded in Myth: Dahlmann is the subject of many sensational rumors (e.g., he was a Russian spy, he reneged on a $90,000 poker debt, and he carried nude photos of society girls in his wallet).
@ Champagne for One
  • Seamless Spontaneous Lie: Dinky Byne changes his story due to being confronted with new evidence at least five times, usually managing to make his claims sound fairly plausible.

Edited by Melinda on Jan 19th 2021 at 12:01:48 PM

Arivne Since: Jan, 2001
#9459: Jan 19th 2021 at 8:38:33 AM

[up] x 8 @jahman

...King of the Pirates has been left vacant for decades. If finding it is was as easy as island hopping...There is also needs to be a means...Robin (who can read Poneglyhs) close at hand.

Edited by Arivne on Jan 19th 2021 at 8:42:02 AM

Arivne Since: Jan, 2001
#9460: Jan 19th 2021 at 8:48:50 AM

[up] x 5 @owlcyclops

From the episode of "Dark Lord": <- colon

In the beginning of the episode, J.P. has an interesting take on Distant Prologue which ends with him swearing to: <- colon

quote mark -> "I will make them buy my book or else!" <- quote mark

From the episode of "Action Scenes": <- colon

...a rock hits him in the head...

Arivne Since: Jan, 2001
#9461: Jan 19th 2021 at 9:01:06 AM

[up][up][up] @Melinda

Changed verbs from past to present tense as per How to Write an Example - Write in Historical Present Tense.

Adams gets a lot of appreciation for his Back Story as the canyon's discoverer...

^ This isn't an English correction. I like to Blue Link trope names so readers can look them up.

...most fans hope that Adams and the older Englishman get out alive.

...extremely terrifying run-ins with the sharks, <- comma the last of which she doesn't escape.

Mischka nearly kills him with several throwing knives before Bond pulls a lever that drops a cannon on him.

Conley standing up to Zorin to try and keep him from killing Conley's miners, and May Day providing a...

...her participation in the contest and...

Edited by Arivne on Jan 19th 2021 at 9:02:15 AM

Melinda Since: Dec, 2019 Relationship Status: Puppy love
#9462: Jan 19th 2021 at 9:10:53 AM

Thanks Arivne. I'm sorry to see that I'm still having trouble with the historical tenses. I do try to keep an eye on that. On a scale of 1-10 where would you say I am on getting my tenses right?

@ Loving

  • Big Damn Heroes: Richard and Mildred are seconds away from being sent to jail over their interracial marriage when their lawyer arrives and claims that they only violated their probation because a clerical error made them think they had permission to come home. This is hinted to be a lie, but the judge believes it and lets them go.
@ The Black Mountain
  • Drives Like Crazy: Wolfe's old friend Paolo Telesio.
    Archie: I was willing to keep my mind open on whether Telesio was to be trusted as a brother, but in less than a mile it was already closed about trusting him as a chauffeur. Apparently, he had some secret assurance that all obstructions ahead, animate or inanimate, would disappear before he got there, and when one didn't and he was about to make contact, his split second reaction was very gay.
  • Unseen No More: Wolfe's European contact Mr. Hitchcock makes his only physical appearance in the series.
@ Might as Well Be Dead
  • Broken Pedestal: Delia Brandt's fiancee is deeply upset when Wolfe's summation reveals that she was almost certainly both a blackmailer and Molloy's mistress.
  • Crusading Lawyer: Peter's lawyer Albert Freyer is a determined and intelligent advocate for his innocent client even though Peter doesn't have enough money to adequately pay him.
  • Hates Their Parent: Peter resents his father for bullying him and refusing to believe he was innocent of embezzlement. He has a Heroic BSoD at the very thought of seeing his father face to face again.
@ Plot It Yourself
  • Blackmail Backfire: Downplayed. Plot it Yourself is one of the few books in the series where a blackmailer survives (due to making sure that her victim knew that valuable evidence would be released in the event of her death), but she is arrested.
@ Gambit
  • Big Secret: Blount is adamant in his reluctance to admit that he drugged the murder victim as a petty prank. If he had revealed this earlier, it would have pointed to the real poisoner immediately and kept Dan Kalmus from being murdered.

Edited by Melinda on Jan 21st 2021 at 6:09:20 AM

KazuyaProta Shin Megami Tensei IV from A Industrial Farm Since: Jan, 2015 Relationship Status: [TOP SECRET]
Shin Megami Tensei IV
#9463: Jan 19th 2021 at 9:52:22 AM

  • Raqiya: "Abraxas" is actually the combined mind of a ancestral alien race hellbent on the destruction of other lifeforms. Having started her crusade millions of years ago, Abraxas caused the extinction of countless civilizations until finding Earth. Appearing to protagonist Luna, Abraxas manipulates her into making a deal to revive her dead family by sacrificing the family of a paramedic with the intention to wait until Luna, now the Anima Mundi, loses her loved ones in the future and is driven to despair to use her power. When that happens, Abraxas causes meteor rains across Earth to cause the extinction of all life after mocking human religions for believing in a higher deity. When Luna's friend tries to convince her to stop the massacre, Abraxas mocks humans for trying to reasonate before trying to kill him.

For Complete Monster

Edited by KazuyaProta on Jan 19th 2021 at 1:17:45 PM

Watch me destroying my country
Stardust120 Since: May, 2019
#9464: Jan 19th 2021 at 11:10:25 AM

Tales of Crestoria Characters

  • Sadist: In Makina's Chapter "Killer of Transgessors", Makina appears a sadist as she enjoys to torment other transgressors by "playing" a game with them. She first starts off by breaking their limbs before she kills them instantly. She enjoys to see the transgressor's despair and pain expression she caused before she ends them.
  • Ambiguous Clone Ending: In Makina's Chapter "Bad People", Makina mentions the "old Makina" broke and she's the "new Makina". It is unknown whether Makina is actually clone copied from the original Makina or her conscious is transfer into a new body after her previous body was damaged.
  • Even Evil Has Standards: Makina seems disturb when Winn commit suicide jumping off a cliff after Makina refuses to him because he's not a transgressor and he didn't anything bad.

Tales of Crestoria

  • Driven to Suicide: In Makina's Chapter "Bad People", Winn in despair after Makina kills his lover Monica for being a transgressor. He asks Makina to kill him so he can join Monica in the afterlife, but she refuse since he's a transgressor. As the result, Winn jumped off at the cliff.

Edited by Stardust120 on Jan 19th 2021 at 11:16:24 AM

Crossover-Enthusiast from an abaondoned mall (Lucky 7) Relationship Status: Chocolate!
#9465: Jan 19th 2021 at 7:56:21 PM

[up][up]

  • Raqiya: "Abraxas" is actually the combined mind of a ancestral alien race hellbent on the destruction of other lifeforms. Having started her crusade millions of years ago, Abraxas caused the extinction of countless civilizations until finding Earth; appearing to protagonist Luna, Abraxas manipulates her into making a deal to revive her dead family by sacrificing the family of a paramedic with the intention to wait until Luna, now the Anima Mundi, loses her loved ones in the future and uses her power in despair (I don't know the context of this particular bit, but I think this flows better). When that happens, Abraxas causes meteors to rain (this flows better) across Earth to cause the extinction of all life after mocking human religions for believing in a higher deity. When Luna's friend tries to convince her to stop the massacre, Abraxas mocks humans for trying to reasonate before attempting to kill him.

Is "reasonate" supposed to be "resonate" or "reason"? I also swapped the second trying in the last sentence to attempting; you can swap it back if you like, it's just a personal preference of mine not to use the same word twice in the same sentence.


[up]

  • Sadist: In "Killer of Transgessors", Makina is a sadist who torments other transgressors by playing a "game" with them, breaking their limbs before killing them instantly. She enjoys seeing the transgressor's despair and pain she causes them before she ends them.
  • Ambiguous Clone Ending: In "Bad People", Makina mentions the "old Makina" broke and she's the "new Makina". It is unknown whether Makina is actually clone copied from the original Makina, or if her conscious was transfered into a new body after her previous body was damaged.
  • Even Evil Has Standards: Makina refuses to kill Winn because he's not a transgressor and he didn't do anything bad. When he then commits suicide by jumping off a cliff, she's disturbed.
  • Driven to Suicide: In "Bad People", Winn is in despair after Makina kills his lover Monica for being a transgressor. He asks Makina to kill him so he can join Monica in the afterlife, but she refuse since he's not a transgressor. As a result, Winn jumps off the cliff.

You seem to have a problem on when to use present and past tense and forgetting words. Also, unless there are multiple chapters with the same name that focus on different characters, you do not need to specify that the chapters are for specific characters.


This isn't for something related to the wiki, but considering a previous conversation I'm curious which is correct:

This

  • The path was nearly the exact same as what they'd just been walking down, but with slight more indication that this used to be a mineshaft, support beams and wooden planks strewn about and even a few long dead lanterns hanging off hooks.

Or this

  • The path was nearly the exact same as what they'd just been walking down, but with slight more indication that this used to be a mineshaft; support beams and wooden planks strewn about and even a few long dead lanterns hanging off hooks.

Edited by Crossover-Enthusiast on Jan 19th 2021 at 2:56:15 PM

Jawbreakers on sale for 99¢
Minorica Rhythm Heroine from Earth Since: Dec, 2019 Relationship Status: It's so nice to be turned on again
Rhythm Heroine
#9466: Jan 19th 2021 at 9:21:35 PM

For YMMV.MGCM:

  • Common Knowledge: It's widely believed by the fans that Omnis' ability is to create a new universe with desired possibilities and then leave the remaining heroines from his previously failed universe alone after he screws up. This leads to another misconception in chapters 12-13 of the 2nd arc, in which Nemesis Iroha is the original Iroha from the end of Chapter 4 (where Kaori was slain and corrupted into a demon) and Nemesis Iroha wants a vengeance against Omnis for ignoring them. Actually:
    • Iroha from Chapter 4 is the same Iroha from the main universe. She's revived after being merged with the copy of her that Omnis made, as Omnis has Reality Warper, Reality Maker and Merged Reality abilities combined into one.
    • According to Ultimate Magica Iroha's dress, it's heavily implied she has to fight enough demons and learn any skills to awaken her dress step by step, from 2019 Magica, 2020 Magica to Ultimate Magica at the highest end. It's therefore impossible for Iroha to immediately awaken her dress from SR 2019 Magica dress to Ultimate Magica. It helps that when Nemesis Iroha's Executor is teleported into another universe by Vivian, the remaining heroines lose their powers and unable to transform or awaken their dresses. If this misconception is unfixed, most fans will ignore the main story because of how dark and edgy the story is, as they believe that our Iroha isn't the original, while the original main universe Iroha becomes a Rogue Protagonist.
  • Goddamned Boss: Mermaid and Black Mermaid demons aren't deadly to a party, but their huge number of hit points and hit point regeneration passive skill are enough to annoy players expecting to defeat them easily, unless you have heroines that have skills that inflict "Recovery Seal" and "Stigma" Standard Status Effects.

Edited by Minorica on Jan 21st 2021 at 11:41:15 PM

"No matter how bad the heroes can get or how bad the situation is, we're sure we can overcome it and get our happy endings..."
MichaelKatsuro Since: Apr, 2011
#9467: Jan 19th 2021 at 11:30:12 PM

Crossover: Actually, I'd replace that semicolon with an em dash.

jahman Since: Dec, 2014 Relationship Status: Dancing with myself
#9468: Jan 20th 2021 at 1:54:22 AM

Pokémon Anime - Ash and Pikachu:

Ash Ketchum:

  • Dumbass Has a Point: Ash often uses Pokemon that has a disadvantage against their opponents. While this can and has backfired at times, it was also shown, even in the Kanto days, that type advantage alone doesn't always decide the battle, and lost many of his battles this way too. There's also the fact that Ash is a master of Confusion Fu, which more often than not, won him battles. Therefore, Ash's choice to not solely on type advantages has merit to it.

Edited by jahman on Jan 20th 2021 at 2:04:39 AM

miraculous Goku Black (Apprentice)
Goku Black
#9469: Jan 20th 2021 at 3:14:40 AM

[up]Uh is it really an example ?

Type advantage isn't everything in the game either. Moves and strategy can still easily win over.

"That's right mortal. By channeling my divine rage into power, I have forged a new instrument in which to destroy you."
Bootlebat Since: Dec, 2012
#9470: Jan 20th 2021 at 9:45:52 AM

For Rage 2:

For Unreal:

For Descent under No Name Given as a secondary example:

Edited by Bootlebat on Jan 20th 2021 at 10:22:36 AM

Bootlebat Since: Dec, 2012
#9471: Jan 20th 2021 at 10:31:41 AM

Something in general I've always been confused about: should the names of fictional species/races be capitalized? Most works do so, even though we don't capitalize "human" or "cat" so why would a fictional species (sentient or not) be capitalized? Is this just a very common bit of Artistic License?

wingedcatgirl I'm helping! from lurking (Holding A Herring) Relationship Status: Oh my word! I'm gay!
I'm helping!
#9472: Jan 20th 2021 at 10:32:37 AM

It's pretty much Artistic License, yes.

For the purposes of our wiki, we capitalize those words if and only if the work does.

Trouble Cube continues to be a general-purpose forum for those who desire such a thing.
MichaelKatsuro Since: Apr, 2011
#9473: Jan 20th 2021 at 10:53:05 AM

I mean, a lot of fantasy novels do capitalize "Human".

Bootlebat Since: Dec, 2012
#9474: Jan 20th 2021 at 11:10:35 AM

For Pathfinder

Melinda Since: Dec, 2019 Relationship Status: Puppy love
#9475: Jan 20th 2021 at 8:54:55 PM

It's been a slow day for more tropes but with the stuff from yesterday, I'm waiting with over 900 words. It's been about 36 hours since I got a reply. I'm starting to get worried that someone forgot me. Would it be ok to post the rest of my backlog at once when I get a reply or should I just stick to the established between is and seven haunted words?

Edited by Melinda on Jan 20th 2021 at 9:18:05 AM


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