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  • Any Sunday strip from the 50's where Charle Brown tells Snoopy at the end, "You drive me crazy!"
  • Sally's school reports.
    Sally: The largest dinosaur that ever lived was the Bronchitis. However, it soon became extinct... it coughed a lot!
    Sally: In writing about Church History, we have to go back to the beginning. Our Pastor was born in 1930.
    Sally: This is my report on Columbus Day. ... Columbus Day was a very brave man. He wanted to sail around the world. "I can give you three ships, Mr. Day," said the Queen.
    Sally: The past has always fascinated people. I must admit, however, that I don't know much about it. I wasn't here when it happened.
    Sally: This is my report on chalkboards which used to be called blackboards which used to be black but now are green. ... In a way, I suppose, green chalkboards are more practical. Now, when you stand in front of the class, and you don't know the answer and you feel sick, your face matches the chalkboard!
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  • Snoopy's attempts at writing the Great American Novel.
    Snoopy: Her name was Dorothy Fledermaus. However, all her friends called her Dee. Thus, she was frequently referred to as Dee Fledermaus.
    Snoopy: Her love affair had ended. She didn't want to live. She threw herself in front of a Zamboni.
    Snoopy: The name of the other team was Devil's Advocate. "They always win," he said. "I hate to play Devil's Advocate!"
    Snoopy: [attempting to write a Thanksgiving story] It was a dark and stormy night. Suddenly, a turkey rang out!

1950

  • Strip #1. Which sets the tone for Charlie Brown for decades to come.
    Shermy : Well, here comes ol' Charlie Brown. Good ol' Charlie Brown, yes sir. Good ol' Charlie Brown... How I hate him!
  • Patty and Shermy discuss their possible futures together:
    Patty: Will you still love me when you're grown up and are rich and famous, and I'm just a poor little girl?
    Shermy: Sure, I will...and will you still love me if you get rich and famous, and I don't have anything?
    Patty: That will be different.
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1952

  • Charlie Brown obliviously destroys a comic book rack and wonders why the shopkeeper is mad at him.
  • Schroeder whistles a complicated series of notes, then asks Charlie Brown to guess what it was.
    Charlie Brown: "Old Black Joe"? "Take Me Out to the Ball Game"? "Home on the Range"?
    Schroeder: Nope... It was the last half of the tenth measure of Sinding's Op. 32, No. 3.
    Charlie Brown: Y'know, I almost said that... I don't know why I didn't!
    • For the record, Sinding's Op. 32, No. 3 is also known as Rustle of Spring. It also sounds nothing like any of the songs Charlie Brown listed.
  • In one of Lucy's early appearances, Charlie Brown goes to get Lucy a drink of water after saying he wants to play some of his records to her. Lucy flat out bites the records to pieces, and says "Lucy eat the three mice mice!". She doesn't understand why Charlie Brown is sad (since she destroyed his record collection!) and says, want a bite?
  • Charlie Brown and Shermy undertake a construction project for Patty and Violet, who boss them around mercilessly, until the structure is completed, and the boys see the sign that the girls have put on it: "Girls' Club. No Boys Allowed"
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  • Charlie Brown, Patty and Shermy are set to play "cowboys", and they choose their roles:
    Patty: I'll be the good guy!
    Shermy: All right, and I'll be the bad guy!
    Patty: What are you going to be, Charlie Brown?
    Charlie Brown: I'll be sort of in-between. (beat) I'll be a hypocrite!
  • In a recurring storyline of the period, Lucy once again beats Charlie Brown at checkers, now achieving 3,000 straight victories. She gloats gleefully at her accomplishment, until Charlie Brown lets out a single, disheartened "Rats!"
    Lucy: "RATS?!" Well, if that's the way you're going to act when you lose, I quit!

1953

  • Linus keeps shoving his dinner off his high chair while Lucy and Charlie Brown watch.
    Lucy: Mother's trying to get Linus to eat by himself. (beat) If he knocks his dish off the table three times, he has to go to bed without any supper.
    Charlie Brown: Is that teaching him to eat?
    Lucy: No, but it's taught him to count to three!

1954

  • Lucy offers to trade some comic books with Charlie Brown.
    Charlie Brown: I've only got three: Mangle Comics, Disease Comics, and Gory Comics.
    Lucy: That's fine...here, take three of mine.
    Charlie Brown (seeing what he's gotten): The Little Bunnies...Billy Bluebird...The Funny Foxes... (angrily) HEY!
    • Later, Shermy reads the titles of a comic book series Charlie Brown owns: Revolutionary War Comics, War of 1812 Comics, Civil War Comics, World War I Comics, World War II Comics, and Korean War Comics.
    Charlie Brown: The next issue has really got me worried.
  • Lucy recites a rhyme:
    "Won four the money,
    Too fore the show,
    Three two get ready,
    And for two go!"
    That's fun to say even if I don't understand it!
  • Charlie Brown playing "H-Bomb Test". note  With Lucy as the bomb.
  • Charlie Brown and Schroeder talk:
    Charlie Brown: Sometimes I think I must be a misfit. I just don't seem to fit in anyplace.
    Schroeder: Maybe you could join a group of misfits.
    Charlie Brown: I probably wouldn't even fit in there.
  • Lucy is seen repeatedly tossing away a slice of bread, so that it lands with a "PLOP!", until she informs Violet:
    I have discovered a SCIENTIFIC TRUTH: No matter how you drop a piece of bread 'n butter, it always lands on the rug "butter side down"!
  • Charlie Brown and Violet:
    Charlie Brown: Men are lots smarter than women!
    Violet: THEY ARE NOT!
    Charlie Brown: Men are lots smarter than GIRLS!
    Violet: Not necessarily.
    Charlie Brown: Well...men MUST be smarter than girl BABIES!
    Violet: I guess I can grant you that, Charlie Brown.
    Charlie Brown: Somehow, that wasn't much of a victory...
  • One strip features an early example of Snoopy's Drama Queen tendencies, at the expense of poor Charlie Brown, of course.
    Snoopy: Oh, good grief! Here comes Charlie Brown... I'm in no mood to be patted on the head!
    Charlie Brown: (patting Snoopy on the head) Hi, Snoopy. Ol' pal...
    Snoopy: (immediately slumps flat on the ground, to the horror of Charlie Brown)
    Charlie Brown: (absolutely devastated) I killed him!
    Lucy: He exploded!

1955

  • Charlie Brown and Schroeder are playing marbles. Lucy wants to play since she has her own marble.
    Charlie Brown: (over Schroeder's protests) If Lucy wants to play, let's let her play! She won't hurt anything.
    Lucy: So, how do you play?
    Charlie Brown: Just try to knock all the marbles out of the ring.
    Lucy: (tries to shoot her marble but fails repeatedly) Rats!...Rats!...RATS!!...WHAT A STUPID GAME!!! (stomps all the marbles in the ring into the ground, and leaves in disgust)
    Schroeder: (mocking Charlie Brown) "Let's let her play! She won't hurt anything!"
  • Charlie Brown shows off a comic strip he drew to Schroeder:
    Charlie Brown: I'm afraid it might be too subtle for the average reader.
    Schroeder: Not "subtle", Charlie Brown...vague!
  • This early Sunday strip shows Charlie Brown paranoid that Patty and Violet are saying mean things about him behind his back, then being offended when they tell him they weren't even thinking about him.

1956

  • Once again, Lucy is playing marbles with Charlie Brown and Schroeder and once again, she has trouble shooting her marble.
    Lucy: Rats! (leaves)
    Charlie Brown: See? She's discouraged already. Now she won't bother us anymore.
    Schroeder: OH NO!
    Charlie Brown: What's the matter?
    [Lucy throws a big volleyball at the ring sending Charlie Brown, Schroeder and all the marbles flying]
    Schroeder (Mocking Charlie Brown) "See? She's discouraged already. Now she won't bother us anymore!"
  • From 30 August 1956, Linus watches a leaf as it slowly floats down from a tree... and lands with a "KLUNK!"
    Linus: KLUNK!?
  • Lucy shows Charlie Brown a stuffed dog her dad bought her, and he asks her, "Is it a real stuffed dog, Lucy?":
    Lucy: Of course, it's a real stuffed dog! No, I mean it isn't a real dog because it's stuffed, and it's...well, I mean...
    What I mean is that it's stuffed and it's real, but yet, it...well...I mean...I...I...
    WHY DO YOU ASK ME SUCH THINGS?
  • The 30 October 1956 strip finds Linus struggling to hold onto a helium balloon, despite Lucy's attempts to help him...
    Linus: [as Lucy walks behind him, holding the end of the string of his balloon] Phooey!
    Lucy: What do you mean, 'Phooey'?
    Linus: Just what I said! Phooey!
    Lucy: For goodness' sake, Linus, stop complaining!
    Linus: Well, good grief, how does it look to have my sister tag after me to hold onto a stupid balloon?!
    Lucy: All right, I'll tie it on to your shoelace, and you can take care of it yourself!
    Linus: Good! [as Lucy walks away, Linus promptly gets flipped upside down as the balloon tries to drag him skyward, feet first] HEY! WAIT!
    Lucy: That wasn't so good, was it? I'll tie it to this shirt button, and we'll see if that works better. [the balloon immediately pulls Linus' shirt up so that it completely covers his head] Nope, I guess it doesn't! This time, I'll tie it to your collar... that should work... [walks off] Whew! What a struggle! I'm glad we got that straightened out...
    Linus: [off-panel] WHOOPS! [Lucy hurries back to a scowling Linus, who is now minus both the balloon and his shirt] Don't say a word! Just don't say anything!

1957

  • In a Sunday strip, Linus builds a sand castle and Lucy on her tricycle yells "CHARGE!" and zooms right over it. Linus goes to get a pair of pliers and goes to Lucy, the next panel just has the words, "Hey, what're you doin' there? What're you doing with those pliers? HEY!!" The last panel has Linus with a big grin after dismantling Lucy's trike.
  • In this early Sunday strip, Linus, standing outside school grounds, demands to be educated and promptly gets his first lesson.

1958

  • The first Sunday strip of the year (January 5), Linus panics when white flakes begin to fall from the sky.
    Linus: IT'S HAPPENING, CHARLIE BROWN! IT'S HAPPENING JUST LIKE THEY SAID IT WOULD!!
    Charlie Brown: Of course, it's happening. It's snowing. What else did you expect this time of year?
    Linus: Snowing? Good grief... I thought it was the fallout!
  • For a week of dailies, Charlie Brown, Lucy and Linus gaze at the stars. The bulk of it focuses on Linus trying to throw rocks at the stars, highlighted by Lucy admonishing him:
    Why, you blockhead! What if you had HIT one?!
  • Lucy sings "Happy Birthday to You!" on Beethoven's birthday:
    Lucy: Happy birthday to yoooo, happy birthday to yooooo, happy birthday dear Johann
    Schroeder: Ludwig, you blockhead!
    [Lucy blushes in a beat panel]
    Lucy: Happy birthday dear Ludwig, happy birthday to yooooooo...
    Schroeder: Johann! Good grief!

1959

  • One time, Charlie Brown had left his shirt behind at Lucy's place after the kids had been playing under the sprinkler, so Lucy put it on and pretended to be him. Then Charlie Brown himself happens along...
    Charlie Brown: Well, hello there, Charlie Brown, you blockhead!
  • Sally's birth. Charlie Brown's overjoyed reaction to the news is definitely heartwarming, but it becomes hilarious as well when he runs out of the house screaming.
    Charlie Brown: I'M A FATHER! (Beat) I MEAN MY DAD'S A FATHER! I'M A BROTHER! I'VE GOT A NEW BABY SISTER! I'M A BROTHER!
    Linus: (to Lucy) You didn't act like that when I was born.
    • One Norwegian translation of the strip manages to make Linus's comment even funnier by turning him much more eloquent and sarcastic, as he tells her: "I'm guessing your enthusiasm when I was born was a little more reserved?"
  • In this strip, Linus makes a set of flash cards and practices them on Charlie Brown, but every single word on them is spelled wrong, including "taybul" and "kow". While Charlie Brown successfully identifies each (misspelled) word, he declines from doing any more because "awl thys reeding is harrd onn mi eyys!"
  • Linus develops a Precocious Crush on his teacher, Miss Othmar. Then comes the day when she forbids security blankets in class since she believes they're a sign of immaturity.
    Charlie Brown: [to Lucy] Wow! That means he's going to have to choose between his blanket and Miss Othmar, doesn't it?
    Linus: [walking by, with his blanket and his thumb in his mouth] Who's Miss Othmar?
  • A replay of last year's Beethoven's Birthday gag: Lucy tries to get on Schroeder's good side by helping spread the word around town about Beethoven's birthday, but mistakenly calls him Karl Beethoven, then goes berserk when Schroeder tries to correct her. After apologizing for her tirade, she offers to sing "Happy Birthday" to Beethoven with Schroeder accompanying her:
    Lucy: HAPPY BIRTHDAY, DEAR LAURENCE...
    Schroeder: LAURENCE?
    Lucy: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOOOO!

1960

  • That's the first time I've ever seen a kite explode!"
  • Linus keeps forgetting to bring egg shells to school for a lesson on igloos (or "igli" as Linus calls them), apparently upsetting his teacher, Miss Othmar, to the point where she cries in frustration and nearly faints in class. On the day he remembers to bring the egg shells, he discovers in shock that Miss Othmar has quit her job to get married. As a wedding present, he sends her... a box of egg shells.
    Linus: [after learning that Miss Othmar has quit] I knew the egg shells were only a manifestation of a deeper problem!
  • 5/27/1960:
    Charlie Brown (writing a letter): Dear teammates, I have been thinking of resigning my job as your manager, and I-
    Lucy: We accept!
    Charlie Brown: WAIT 'TIL I FINISH THE LETTER.
  • When Lucy is putting a dinosaur skeleton together, Linus and Snoopy begin dancing and raucously singing "Dem Bones", deliberately mixing the lyrics up ("the knee bone's connected to the wrist bone," etc.) until Lucy hurls them out the front door. The crowning moment is Lucy's face in the panel just before she does it. And just to seal the deal, Charlie Brown's walking by just in time to see it happen.
  • Lucy mistaking a potato chip for a butterfly. The punchline is especially silly.
  • While playing outside, Linus and Lucy hear a car door open, and thinking their Dad is going to the store, begin to demand he buy them all sorts of things, with Linus getting increasingly loud and demanding, until it's revealed that their Dad was just pulling the car into the driveway to wash it.
  • Lucy asks Schroeder why every public building isn't closed on Beethoven's birthday if he was so great and gets zinged.
    Schroeder: I know something that never closes any time...
    Lucy: What's that?
    Schroeder: Your mouth!
  • The Mad Punter. Us readers know who it is pretty early on, but Linus and Charlie Brown don't find out until the very end. It's Snoopy.
  • A series of Sunday strips in which Linus becomes convinced he has the power to control the weather, after he recites "Rain, Rain, Go Away" and the rain stops. But when Lucy pressures him to recite the poem one more time to determine if he really is a "rain-stopper," Linus gets confused and recites the wrong words.
    Linus: GO GO TODAY, RAIN SOME WAY AGAIN SOME DAY!
    Lucy: [as the rain suddenly intensifies into a downpour, drenching her, Linus and Charlie Brown] OH, YOU BLOCKHEAD!
  • Charlie Brown is going through a particularly depressed period, but Lucy's there to cheer him up.
    Lucy: Look at it this way, Charlie Brown...
    Lucy: These are your bitter days... These are your days of hardship and struggle...
    Lucy: But if you'll just hold your head up high, and keep on fighting, someday you'll triumph!
    Charlie Brown: [encouraged] Gee, do you really think so, Lucy?
    Lucy: Frankly, no!
  • After being initially excited about getting a library card, Linus suddenly develops a phobia of libraries, which he calls "Library Fever." Lucy attempts to cure him of the phobia by nailing the library card to a stick and telling Linus to "march proudly into the library" while holding the card high. (Linus' reaction: "I feel not unlike a fool.") When this fails, Lucy loses her temper, grabs him and shakes him, and yells at him to go into the library and borrow a book or else.
    Linus: What if somebody slugs me?

1961

  • In a Sunday strip, Charlie Brown lets Snoopy sleep in his bed with him — until Snoopy lets out a roaring SNORE, and Charlie Brown banishes a distraught Snoopy back to his doghouse. Then, Charlie Brown decides to relent, and invites Snoopy back inside — only for CHARLIE BROWN to let rip with a SNORE, and be banished himself to the doghouse!
  • In a Call-Back to the 30 August 1956 strip, the 9 September 1961 strip sees Linus watch another leaf fall to the ground... and land with a "♪".
    Linus: ♪?

1963

  • The minor character 5 95472 is introduced. When Charlie Brown introduces him to Sally, Sally immediately thinks to herself, "Mrs. Sally 95472," and walks away muttering, "I can't see it!"
  • The Sunday strip of December 8: Lucy offers Linus a piece of candy, and Linus is so afraid he'll choose a piece with coconut filling that he painstakingly examines every chocolate in the box trying to figure out whether it might be coconut, thinking aloud as he does so. Lucy, irritated beyond endurance, shouts, "TAKE ONE!," forcing Linus to choose a chocolate at random... which, of course, turns out to be coconut.

1964

  • In a Sunday strip, Linus has to draw a picture of a family member for a class assignment — he's drawing Lucy's face, finished except the mouth, when she sees him at work. He decides it's a good time to stop, but she insists that he draw in the mouth — he nervously draws it in a wide open shout. She slugs him, and he lies there commenting "It's hard to draw well when your hand is shaking!"
  • Charlie Brown pays the Van Pelts a visit for the purpose of telling Lucy's mother about her sore arm.
    Lucy: I'll bet Casey Stengel never tattles to his players' mothers!
  • Charlie Brown drops a fantastic snark on Linus after Linus costs them both the school election. Here's the backstory, and here's the punchline. Especially funny because it's so contrary to Charlie Brown's usual resigned acceptance of failure. Also a moment of Awesome and/or Heartwarming for Charlie Brown, if you find those things in seeing the ol' blockhead stand up for himself. Along with Lucy's line about how Charlie Brown would make a good ticket-balancing vice-presidential candidate for Linus because "he'd bring in the wishy-washy vote!"
  • Charlie Brown buys $5 worth of bubble-gum baseball cards hoping to get a Joe Shlabotnik card. He fails. Lucy buys a penny's worth of bubble-gum cards, and the one card in her pack turns out to be... Joe Shlabotnik.

1965

  • A storyline where Linus is at camp occasionally switches back to Lucy, who is both shocked to find that she misses her little brother and irritated that Linus only seems to be writing to Charlie Brown. Then, Linus sends her a birch-bark canoe, and she's deeply touched:
    Lucy: Sometimes I think I don't deserve a nice brother like Linus...
    Charlie Brown: I have often thought the same thing.
    [Final panel depicts Lucy writing a letter: "Dear Linus, please send me another canoe. The first one broke when I threw it at Charlie Brown."]
    • Earlier, she'd been so bothered by her feelings of missing Linus, she went to her own psychiatric booth for help, describing her problem while sitting on the patient-stool, then switching to her doctor's-chair to declare, "You're cracking up!"

1966

  • The "spelling bee" storyline which was later expanded into A Boy Named Charlie Brown three years later. But this time, Charlie doesn't even get past the class spelling bee. He's assigned to spell the word "maze" and, thinking of a certain legendary baseball player, inadvertently spells it M...A...Y...S. His day gets worse from there, as he snaps at his teacher, gets sent to the principal's office, and is forced to apologize to his teacher in front of the class.
    Charlie Brown: [after apologizing] Oh, incidentally... M... A... Z... E!

1967

  • The Sunday strip where Linus, midway through making himself a bowl of cereal, gets a phone call from someone who's apparently doing all the talking. As the conversation commences (with Linus saying "Uh-huh...uh-huh, yeah, sure") he strains his eyes towards the kitchen table, looking increasingly uncomfortable and frantic, until finally he shouts, "MY COLD CEREAL IS GETTING SOGGY!" The last panel shows Charlie Brown, holding the phone with what can only be described as a "WTF?" expression.
  • Another Sunday Strip where Charlie Brown and Sally are washing their hands before dinner and Charlie pets Snoopy afterwards....freaking out Sally who demands Charlie wash again due to "touching the dog". Snoopy is naturally insulted by being declared "unclean" by the weird little girl and proceeds to stalk and grab her while declaring how "filthy" he is with a Slasher Smile. Panel #7 is especially hilarious.
    Snoopy: Here comes the Bubonic Plague! Pat my head and get a hand-full of germs! Here comes the walking disease carrier! Beware! Beware! Look out for me....I'm diseased! I'm contaminated! I'm....
    Sally: HEEEEEEEELLLLLPPPP!
    [Snoopy walks away, frowning...]
    Snoopy: 'Touched the dog'...Good Grief!
  • Similarly, the Sunday strip of June 8. Lucy freaks out after Snoopy sniffs her glass of root beer, declaring she can tell the root beer is full of dog germs because she can see them with her binoculars.
    Charlie Brown: There's one thing you should never do... never sniff in your hostess's root beer!
    Snoopy: I'll remember that... next time I'll bite her leg!

1968

  • Lucy's idea for playing night baseball games: playing by candlelight. She especially likes the idea because all that's necessary to get Charlie Brown off the mound if he's pitching a lousy game is to blow his candle out.
    Charlie Brown: [in pitch blackness] I think we'd better stick to day games.
  • Charlie Brown comes to Lucy's psychiatric booth and complains that people take advantage of him by talking too much and that he doesn't have the nerve to end the conversation when he gets bored.
    Lucy: It's your own fault! You're just too wishy-washy! People who talk too much deserve to be insulted! They deserve to have other people walk away from them! Talking too much is an unforgiveable social sin! Absolutely unforgiveable! The only way to deal with people who talk too much is to let them know how boring they really are. [Meanwhile, it begins to snow.] You can't waste your time with them... no, sir! Why should you sit and waste your valuable time while some bore talks on and on about nothing? Life is too short to waste it listening to some person who doesn't know when to shut up! Time is too valuable! Time is... [By this time, the snow has completely covered Lucy, Charlie Brown, and the psychiatric booth from head to toe. Charlie Brown sighs.]

1969

  • The entire arc where Lucy throws Schroeder's piano into the Kite-Eating Tree.
    • This exchange between Linus and Lucy after Charlie Brown tells the former what happened.
      Linus: What a stupid thing to do!
      Lucy: He never pays any attention to me! This will teach him a lesson. Musicians are a peculiar lot. They always have to learn the hard way.
    • Snoopy fails to save the piano by posing as Captain of the Rescue Squad and falling out of the tree.
    • Schroeder and Lucy sit where the piano would have been placed after the tree chews it up. After the second time Schroeder complains about his piano being gone, Lucy quips, "Maybe I should have thrown him up into the tree!"
    • The following day's strip has Schroeder writing a letter to the Ace Piano Company.
      Charlie Brown: I suppose your old piano was covered by insurance.
      Schroeder: How do you explain to an insurance company that your piano was eaten by a tree?
  • A Sunday strip in which Lucy urges Linus, "Close your eyes and open your hands." When Linus expresses understandable concern that she might be about to palm something creepy off on him, she storms off.
    Linus: I know her! She wants me to apologize, and then when I close my eyes again, she really will drop a worm in my hands.
    Lucy: I know him..he thinks I want him to apologize so that I really can drop a worm or something in his hands…
    Both: I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE THINKING!
    [beat]
    Lucy: This is ridiculous..here…take them!
    Linus: "THEM"?!!!
  • On Sally's first day of first grade, she's assigned to draw a farm during art class, and goes ballistic.
    Sally: I can't draw a farm... I've never even seen a farm! Besides, cows' legs are impossible to draw... I DEFY ANYONE IN THIS CLASS TO DRAW A GOOD COW LEG!
    Sally: [next panel, sitting outside the principal's office] I'm the only person I know who's failing First-Grade Art...

1970

  • Woodstock is finally named after having already been a semi-regular for several years.
  • Charlie Brown starts yelling at the kite-eating tree, and Linus, who is watching the whole thing, grabs him by the arm and drags him over to Lucy's psychiatric booth.
    Lucy: Now, Let Me Get This Straight.... The person who brought you here said you were talking to a tree. Is that right?
    • Also; The tree throughout Charlie's scolding....all those "facial" expressions.
  • Lucy is excited when Schroeder tells her he's going to give her a kiss for Beethoven's birthday... until she finds out "the kiss will be supplied by [his] representative" - Snoopy, of course.
    Lucy: [fleeing in terror] AAUGH!!!
    Schroeder: [shaking Snoopy's paw] Happy Beethoven's Birthday!
    Snoopy: "Nicht Diese Tone."

1971

  • 1/21/1971: Seems like a normal day at the psychiatric help booth...
    Lucy: Little talks like this are almost always good, Charlie Brown. There's a certain value in the exchange of experiences. I suppose I could admit that I've even learned a little something myself.
    Charlie Brown: Five cents, please!
  • Linus, in another (ultimately unsuccessful) attempt to give up his blanket, gives it to Snoopy to keep for him, but later admits he isn't ready to give it up and demands that Snoopy give it back - only to find out that Snoopy has had the blanket made into sport coats for himself and Woodstock.
    Linus: It's all your fault, Charlie Brown, because you own such a stupid beagle! Do you know what I just read in a medical journal? It said that a person who is deprived of his security blanket by a stupid beagle who has it made into a sport coat cannot survive for more than 48 hours!
    Charlie Brown: That must be some medical journal.

1972

  • The last three strips of the arc where Lucy kicks Linus out of their house.
    • May 23, 1972: Charlie Brown asks Linus how his mother would allow such a thing, only to be told she had to go to the hospital the day before. One Answer Cut later...
    Lucy: A new baby brother?!! But I just got rid of the old one!!!
    • May 24, 1972: Lucy invites Linus back inside the house and tells him about their new arrival. Lucy then compares getting rid of brothers to shoveling water with a pitchfork.
    • May 25, 1972: Linus spends the first three panels laughing at Lucy's Laser-Guided Karma. On the fourth panel, Lucy has tied Linus' blanket around his mouth like a muzzle.
  • From 10/24/1972
    Charlie Brown: Why would they ban Miss Sweetstory's book from the school library?
    Linus: I can't believe it. I just can't believe it!
    Charlie Brown: Maybe there are some things in her book that we don't understand.
    Sally: In that case, they should also ban my math book!

1973

  • One story had Snoopy as a finalist for the Daisy Hill Puppy Cup and when Charlie Brown reads the results...
    Charlie Brown: You didn't win.
    Snoopy: AAUGH!! I HATE THE WORLD!! I HATE EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING IN THE WHOLE STUPID WORLD WIDE WORLD!!!
    Charlie Brown: There's nothing like a good loser.
    • There's also Woodstock writing Snoopy a letter of recommendation.
      Woodstock: [typing] He is truly a good dog. He is also a loyal friend. Therefore, I would like to recommend ol' banana nose for Neighborhood Dog of the Year. [giggles while Snoopy fumes]
  • Rerun appears for the first time and gets a major story arc when Lucy convinces Charlie Brown to let the one-year-old Rerun play left field... and he ends up winning the game for Charlie Brown's team (which still ends in disaster).
    Charlie Brown: This is some team I've got this year. A beagle at shortstop... a second baseman with a blanket... and a left fielder who's still on the bottle!
  • There was a storyline where Charlie Brown went out to watch the sunrise, but instead of the sun, he saw a baseball. Soon, he began seeing baseballs everywhere, and even got a rash on the back of his head that looked like the stitches on a baseball. It was decided he had been thinking too much about baseball, so he went to camp to take his mind off of things. When he thought he was cured, he went out to watch the sunrise to be sure. The conclusion has to be seen in order to be believed.
  • One story arc had Marcie being cajoled into playing baseball with Peppermint Patty, only to be harassed by a sexist kid named Thibault. She eventually loses her temper:
    Marcie: Now look here, you cement-headed male-chauvinist dummy... I'm going to tell you something, and I want you to stand here and listen! If you say one word, I'm going to belt you right across the chops!
    Thibault: Oh?
    POW!
    Marcie: That was one word!
    • Even Thibault's character design deserves a chuckle....a very tiny child with a hilarious perpetual scowl, a mullet and SIDEBURNS! note 
  • An announcer on a TV golf game describes a very important shot, which the golfer cannot afford to miss, with "There's no tomorrow!". Sally takes this saying literally, assumes The Apocalypse is nigh and goes berserk like Chicken Little, roping in Linus and Snoopy in the process. Snoopy's response to the whole deal in the end is the "cherry" on the "Funny Sundae".
    [Sally, Linus and Snoopy are sitting together on Snoopy's dog house roof, scared out of their minds....]
    Linus: Somehow, I never thought it would end this way!
    Snoopy: I thought Elijah was to come, first....
  • Another arc had Snoopy trying to beat Hank Aaron to breaking Babe Ruth's record for career home runs, which inspires a lot of angry letters from overzealous baseball fans.
    Charlie Brown: Is your hate mail causing you to lose sleep?
    Snoopy: (lying atop his doghouse, next to a literal mountain of letters) Only when it falls on me.
  • Peppermint Patty staying at Charlie Brown's for a few days while her father is out of town. She has to sleep in "Chuck's guest cottage" (aka Snoopy's doghouse) with "that funny-looking kid with the big nose" (Snoopy).
  • Charlie Brown's and Peppermint Patty's baseball teams decide to hold a charity baseball game. Marcie is unable to sell a single ticket, so it never gets off the ground.
    Marcie: [selling tickets door to door] The charity? Stomach-aches!
    [Marcie gets the door slammed in her face]
    Marcie: STOMACH-ACHES ARE A LEGITIMATE CHARITY!!!

1974

  • Sally brings Snoopy with her to the playground to fight off bullies, declaring that she's taking Theodore Roosevelt's advice: "Speak softly, and carry a beagle." It works out fine until Snoopy abandons her to chase after a girl beagle.
    Sally: [to bully] If you don't do what I say, this beagle will bite your leg!
    Bully: What beagle?! [Sally, horrified, realizes Snoopy is gone]
  • Peppermint Patty, depressed at her "straight 'Z' average", decides to quit school and move in with Snoopy for the rest of her life. Marcie forcefully tries to pull Patty down off Snoopy's doghouse, destroying "Chuck's guest cottage" in the process.
    Marcie: It's not a guest cottage, Sir, it's a doghouse! And Snoopy isn't a funny-looking kid with a big nose! He's a beagle! WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO FACE UP TO REALITY?
    Peppermint Patty: A beagle?
    Snoopy: Woof!
    • In the next strip, while Marcie tries to brain-storm an excuse for missing school that day, Peppermint Patty is still baffled by the revelation that Snoopy is a dog. She's so baffled, in fact, that all she says for the rest of the strip is "A beagle?"
  • Lucy once again disposes of Schroeder's piano ("Not your piano, sweetie... MY COMPETITION!"), this time by throwing it into the sewers. And once again, she ends up disappointed when Schroeder simply orders a new piano and returns to life as usual. There's a nice little Continuity Nod to the earlier incident in which Lucy threw Schroeder's previous piano up into the Kite-Eating Tree (see 1969 above).
  • A story arc in November and December that was adapted into the TV special She's a Good Skate, Charlie Brown five years later. Peppermint Patty is entering a skating competition and runs into one roadblock after another. First, she taps Marcie to make her a dress, and Marcie, being completely inept at sewing, makes a dress without sleeves or a waistline, which looks like a tent when Patty puts it on. After Marcie's mother saves the day by making Patty a proper dress, Patty goes to Charlie Brown's dad's barber shop for a haircut... only to be mistaken for a boy and have all of her hair chopped off, which forces her to buy a giant Little Orphan Annie-style wig. Then, when she finally gets to the skating competition, she learns it's not an ice-skating competition, but a roller-skating competition. Throughout the whole arc, there's Snoopy as Patty's ill-tempered "skating coach." In the final strip of the arc, not having any money to pay him for her lessons, Patty gives Snoopy her wig.

1975

  • The January 1975 arc where Peppermint Patty hires Snoopy to be her watchdog. She wakes up to find out that her house is being robbed, but Snoopy can't help her because he's stuck bouncing on a waterbed.
    • In the 1/24/1975 strip, Peppermint Patty reprimands Snoopy with "What kind of watchdog are you?!" to which he replies "I'm a seasick watchdog!" She then reaches to grab Snoopy off the waterbed, but she starts bouncing on it as well.
    Peppermint Patty: That stupid Chuck! He can't even own a good watchdog!
    Snoopy: There's our excuse... We'll blame everything on the round-headed kid!
    • Marcie goes to Peppermint Patty's house to investigate. She also gets trapped on the waterbed trying to help Peppermint Patty and Snoopy get off.
  • 5/30/1975: Charlie Brown delivers Snoopy a stack of pancakes wedged on their side into his supper dish.
    Snoopy: Since when are pancakes served standing on end?

1976

  • Marcie thinking that Peppermint Patty's team needs baseball caps so she starts making some weird ones such as a chef's cap, a Sherlock Holmes cap, a tiny cap, a giant cap and finally a matador cap.
  • What's the Ol' Memorial Day pitch?.
  • At summer camp, Marcie meets a boy named Floyd, who develops a crush on her and, much to Marcie's chagrin, insists on calling her "Lambcake" (to which Marcie reacts by slugging him). Much to Patty's chagrin, he also picks up on Marcie's habit of calling Patty "Sir" (to which Patty reacts by slugging him). After Floyd goes home, Patty asks Marcie if she really thinks being called "Lambcake" was so terrible, since people call each other nastier names like "Noodleneck" or "Cementhead" all the time.
    Patty: You should think about that, Marcie.
    Marcie: I will. Good night, Noodleneck!
  • One of the most epic Peppermint Patty story arcs ever. She decides to enroll in a private school, but balks at the cost of tuition until Snoopy hands her a brochure for something called the "Ace Obedience School," which only charges $20. Patty goes on to enroll in, attend, and graduate from the obedience school, completely oblivious to the fact that she's in obedience training for dogs. When she finally learns the truth, Patty is furious with Snoopy and attacks the Stupid Cat Next Door, thinking it's "Snoopy in a cat suit." The real Snoopy sees the fight and jumps in to help Patty, who decides to forgive Snoopy because he came to her rescue. One has to wonder about the people who run said obedience school, as well.

1977

  • In a story arc spanning two Sunday strips, Snoopy shows off his "Cheshire Beagle" trick to Woodstock, in which he turns completely invisible except for his grin... but it doesn't quite go as planned:
    • In the first strip (16 January 1977), he manages to turn invisible, but not visible again:
      Woodstock: IIIII IIIIII III?
      Snoopy: You want to see my Cheshire Beagle trick again? Okay, here we go... [grins, then starts to disappear up to the neck, and finally completely, leaving his grin floating in midair] How's this? You like that, huh? [his grin turns to a grimace] Oh, oh!
      Woodstock: ?
      Snoopy: I think we have a little problem here... I can't get back! You'd better go for help... call my owner! Call Houdini! Call "Albo the Great"! Call anybody!! [Woodstock flies off] No, wait! Don't call the... [gets sprayed by a hose] fire department.
    • One week later (23 January 1977), Charlie asks Lucy if Snoopy's problem is psychiatric. Maybe, says Lucy, but she has another solution:
      Snoopy: I've never been so embarrassed in all my life...
      Charlie Brown: Try holding your breath...
      Lucy: What's going on here?
      Charlie Brown: We're having a little "re-entry" problem! Snoopy was showing off his "Cheshire Beagle" trick, and now he can't get back... do you think it's a psychiatric problem?
      Lucy: It could be... then again, maybe he's just lost his picture... when we lose the picture on our TV at home, we just give it a whap, and it comes right back... [she swings her arm back and aims it at where Snoopy's head should be]
      [WHAP!!]
      Lucy: [leaves Charlie Brown and Woodstock to minister to the newly-visible but dazed Snoopy] This is going to work out fine... my TV repairman's bill is more than my psychiatrist's bill!
  • The first time we see Snoopy as rescue helicopter. Especially this panel (... " 'Nam?"). This storyline was also the first time Sally ever called Linus "Sweet Babboo."
  • One of Lucy's most epic excuses ever for missing a fly ball. Even Charlie Brown is impressed.
    Lucy: The moons of Saturn got in my eyes!
  • Peppermint Patty gives her report on the book she read over Christmas vacation: the back of a cereal box. In the final strip of the story arc, Marcie suddenly realizes she has no report to turn in because she spent the entire vacation badgering Patty.
    Peppermint Patty: Turn around, Marcie... I can't afford to associate with someone who doesn't do her homework!
  • Peppermint Patty and Marcie spend the day as caddies for two highly-competitive women golfers. Marcie in particular ends up carrying a golf bag twice her size, which makes navigating uphill holes and sand traps difficult.

1978

  • A year after the introduction of Snoopy's short-tempered sometime mixed doubles tennis partner, Molly Volley, this year saw the debut of one of her sporting rivals, and the Peanuts character with the most ridiculous name ever: "Crybaby" Boobie.
    Molly Volley: Okay, we'll receive on this side.
    Crybaby Boobie: (crying) That's not fair! That means we have the sun in our eyes! Why do we have to serve with the sun in our eyes?
    Molly Volley: (to Snoopy) See? Didn't I tell you? Crybaby Boobie complains about everything!
    Crybaby Boobie: (crying) I think the net is too high! These balls feel dead! I can't play on a slow court! These balls are too lively! I think the net is too low!
    Molly Volley: Hey, Crybaby, why don't you shut up and serve?!
    Crybaby Boobie: (crying) These balls feel too light! My shoulder hurts! The sun is killing me! The net looks too high!
    Molly Volley: I SAID SHUT UP AND SERVE!
    Crybaby Boobie: (crying) NOW YOU'RE TRYING TO PSYCHE ME OUT!
  • The debut of Eudora, who's such a Cloudcuckoolander she makes even Sally and Peppermint Patty seem like geniuses. She shows up at school on Saturdays, tries to write book reports on TV Guide, and eats "chocolate sandwiches" (chocolate bars between two slices of rye bread; she even contemplates trying it with gravy, which grosses Sally out visibly).
  • Sally and Eudora at summer camp, sleeping outside and looking up at the sky:
    Eudora: What was that?
    Sally: That was a falling star.
    (beat)
    Eudora: (loudly and triumphantly to the star) MISSED ME!!
  • Eudora's book report.
    "This is my literature report. The book I chose to read was the TV Guide... Ma'am?" (beat) "I was afraid of that."
  • A series of strips from December has Lucy talking to Schroeder about a book she's writing about Beethoven, involving multiple scenes of women kicking Beethoven's piano, which Lucy helpfully illustrates by kicking Schroeder's piano. The artwork, where the piano flies into the air, causing Schroeder to be knocked upside-down, really sells the premise. (She also decides to update his life by changing him from a pianist with chronic stomach pains to an electric guitarist with tennis elbow, and at one point has him sit down to dinner with sportscaster Phyllis George.)

1979

  • 09/28/79 "An uproar Chuck!"
  • Lucy actually promises not to pull the football away... and she doesn't. Instead Charlie kicks her hand.

1980

  • Charlie Brown fixes Peppermint Patty up with a date for her Valentine's Day disco dance. To Patty's chagrin, her date turns out to be Pig-Pen. To her surprise, she actually starts to like him.
    • One short story arc involves Patty continually trying to tell everyone about something cute Pig-Pen said to her, but being blown off by everyone. It's a replay of a similar week of strips from 1959 which dealt with Charlie Brown trying to tell his friends about something cute then-infant Sally did.
      Marcie: I'm not interested in your romance, Sir, and I'm very busy practicing the organ. [shuts door in Patty's face]
      Patty: May all your hemidemisemiquavers be flat!!!note 
  • June 23, 1980:
    Lucy: [on pitcher's mound, talking to Charlie Brown] Good afternoon... My name is Lucy. I'm going to be your right-fielder... Our special today is a misjudged fly-ball. We also have a nice bobbled ground ball and an excellent late throw to the infield. I'll be back in a moment to take your order.
  • Peppermint Patty rages against the D minus grade her history report received, crumpling the paper into a ball and kicking it into a trash can while chanting, "It's not fair! It's just not fair!" The paper gets in the last word:
    "Why take it out on me? I'm only a piece of paper."

1981

  • A week-long story arc in which Sally and Snoopy are feuding.
    Sally: Your stupid beagle just growled at me!
    Charlie Brown: I'm sure he didn't mean anything by it.
    Sally: Well, he doesn't have to be so beagligerent!
  • Two more classic Peppermint Patty story arcs.
    • In the first, she has a butterfly land on her nose, and Marcie plays a joke on her, telling Patty that while she was napping, the butterfly turned into an angel and flew away. Patty decides this means God has chosen her to give the world a message, which she decides is: "If there's a foul ball behind third base, it's the shortstop's play."
    • In the second, Patty decides to enroll in a school for gifted children, thinking it means they give the students presents. When she learns the truth, she blames Marcie for "not trying hard enough" to stop her.
    Marcie: If I had tried to stop you, Sir, you would have hit me.
    Patty: You could have ducked.
  • Peppermint Patty gets Charlie Brown a job as a popcorn vendor during her baseball team's games. After he spends the entire game pestering Patty for a chance to pitch, Patty relents and, with two outs in the ninth inning and Patty's team leading 50-0, agrees to let him pitch the last out. It ends in double disaster: not only does Charlie Brown throw a wild pitch that knocks Patty senseless, in true Charlie Brown fashion, he ends up losing the game for Patty's team, 51-50.

1982

  • The return of Crybaby Boobie.
    Crybaby Boobie: (crying) I can't play when the sun is so bright! The wind is against me! This court slants! The balls are dead! It's too cloudy! This court is too fast! My racket's too heavy! My shoes are too tight! It's too hot!
    Molly Volley: (annoyed) Stop complaining, Crybaby Boobie! Nobody ever listens to you anyway!
    Crybaby Boobie: (crying) And nobody ever listens to me!!
  • Sally decides she wants to stay in her beanbag all summer and asks if there is a "beanbag camp". Turns out there really is a beanbag camp, and Sally spends the next two weeks there lying in her beanbag, watching TV and eating junk food. To Charlie Brown's horror, she returns home obese.
  • Charlie Brown almost wins a bowling tournament... until he gets so excited he throws the ball out the front door of the alley instead of down his lane. The ball rolls right through the pumpkin patch, and Linus, not realizing the noise was caused by a bowling ball, becomes convinced he's finally seen the Great Pumpkin.
  • The daily strip of November 13:
    Charlie Brown: [bringing out Snoopy's supper] Suppertime! We are the exclusive distributors in this area. For complete information about our services, call our 800 number...
    Snoopy: I hate it when he's feeling good.

1983

  • Sally gets it into her head that Linus is going to send her a Valentine, and when he inevitably does not, she stays in bed and sulks, telling Charlie Brown to punch her "Sweet an' Sour Babboo" in the nose. Hilarity Ensues:
    • Charlie Brown tells Linus about Sally's "request". Linus' response?
      Linus: I hope you don't. You'd probably miss, and hit me in the eye!
    • Linus insists that he never promised to give Sally a Valentine, and grumbles that if Charlie Brown is going to punch him in the nose, he should just get it over with. Charlie Brown offers an alternative: he will hold out his fist and Linus can walk into it. But things don't go according to plan...
      Lucy: I feel grumpy today... I don't want to talk to anybody or see anybody!
      Charlie Brown: [eyes closed] I'll hold my fist out, Linus, and you walk into it...
      Lucy: [glaring at Linus] Get out of my way! [she walks straight into Charlie Brown's fist]
      BONK!
      Charlie Brown: [opening his eyes] Did it hurt?
      Linus: [looking at the dazed Lucy] No, but it might later if we stick around.
  • Linus finally manages to give up his blanket, and starts his own security blanket cessation clinic. However, he attracts a grand total of one patient - who turns out, much to Linus' horror, to be Sally in disguise ("It's ME, Sweet Babboo!"). The next day, Linus is back on the blanket.
  • Charlie Brown refuses to try and kick Lucy's football again. As he walks away, he remarks that at least no one else considers him stupid enough to fall for that trick again. He then comes across Snoopy, Woodstock, Sally, Peppermint Patty, and Marcie all holding footballs for him to try to kick.
  • Sally spends several days practicing her one line for the Christmas play: "Hark!" When she finally goes on stage, she blurts out, "Hockey stick!" That night, Sally berates herself, and exclaims that she must have invoked the scorn of Moses, Luke, and "all 50" apostles.
  • An excellent Brick Joke is also set up and pays off during this storyline. When explaining her part to Charlie Brown, Sally says that after she says "Hark," Harold Angel starts to sing. Charlie Brown goes with this, assuming that this is Sally confusing "Herald Angel" (as in Hark The Herald Angels Sing) for a person. However, at the end of the storyline, Charlie Brown answers the door, to meet a boy who asks for Sally, introducing himself as "Harold Angel." Charlie Brown is left dumbfounded.
  • April 10: Peppermint Patty receives a grade of "Grody to the max" on an essay she wrote the previous day.
  • Peppermint Patty getting stuck in ring binders by hair, foot, nose, even into the next year.
  • Charlie Brown throws a pitch at a baseball game. It's obviously hit and sent out into right field, where Lucy is. However, as she calls for the ball, Linus, Snoopy, Violet, Pigpen and 5 all rush out into the field and call for it too. The ball proceeds to bounce off of ALL SIX of their heads one after the other.
    Schroeder: (to Charlie Brown) I think you're right...Six bonks is a new record.

1984

  • When Peppermint Patty is held back a grade she ends up sitting in front of Eudora in class, and tries to act as a Big Sister Mentor to her. Goes about as well as you'd expect, since Eudora is an even bigger Cloudcuckoolander than Peppermint Patty is.
    Peppermint Patty: Eudora, is it? Well, if you need any help, Eudora, I'm right here! I took all of these classes last year, so i know all the answers. Just do what I do, and you'll get along great!
    (cut to both Peppermint Patty and Eudora asleep and snoring at their desks)
    • What follows is even weirder. Marcie discovers she still hears snoring noises emanating from Peppermint Patty's old desk - which, even more eerily, cease when she whispers, "Wake up, Sir!" The teacher and principal quickly order Patty transferred back into her old class, and true to form, the first thing Patty does when reunited with her old classmates is... fall asleep.
      Marcie: At least it's new snoring, Ma'am, and not reruns.
  • Charlie Brown asks Lucy why she plays baseball since she's so terrible at it. Lucy's response: "Girls just want to have fun."
  • Marcie hands Peppermint Patty a "hotel bill" from the teacher after Patty wakes up from another in-class nap.
    Patty: Sarcasm does not become you, Ma'am!

1985

  • December 4 has Snoopy in the back seat as the Brown Family picks up Chinese takeout....
    Snoopy: "....They know I can be trusted, though....except I opened all the fortune cookies!"
  • December 6 has Charlie Brown writing a Christmas note to Grandma....but smudging "Merry Christmas" into a big black mess.
    Sally: "Wish her a 'Merry Smudgmas' for me, too!".
  • December 8 has Snoopy and (presumably) Linus playing football. They then share a high-five....only to get stuck....
    Snoopy (to Charlie, also in Football gear): "How do you 'un-five'?".
  • The arc about Sally obsessing over Santa Claus' weight (and eventually heart condition) is darkly funny in some way (since Santa's roundness is integral to his mythos). It ends on a somewhat dark note when the Dept. Store Santa is rushed to the ER for a Triple-Bypass (after Sally makes a scene over Santa's health) but the implication (as shared by a pair of commenters on GoComics is darkly humorous)note .
  • December 16 and 17th has this exchange with Peppermint Patty and Marcie....
    (Dec 16th)
    Peppermint Patty: "WOW! I think the teacher is trying to tell me something, Marcie."
    Marcie: "What grade did you get, sir?"
    Peppermint Patty: "An Extra-Strength D-Minus!"
    (Dec.17th)
    Peppermint Patty: "That was a hard test. How'd you ever get an 'A'?"
    Marcie: "I pass tests the Old Fashioned Way....I STUDY!!"
    Peppermint Patty: "You're weird, Marcie."
    • March 19th has Patty writing a report with her new state-of-the-art pen on new state-of-the-art stationery... and getting a "state-of-the-art D-Minus."

1986

  • Peppermint Patty actively campaigns for May Queen at school, and wins... only to learn that the maypole dance is cancelled because the school lost its liability insurance. "Who would be clumsy enough to get tangled around a maypole?" Patty grumbles. Who indeed...
  • Snoopy's idea of a "romantic poem" for Sally's Valentine's Day cards.
    Snoopy: [typing] Chocolate chip cookies are red. Chocolate chip cookies are blue. Chocolate chip cookies are sweet. So are you.
    Sally: This is terrible! I can't make a valentine with that! Write another one!
    Snoopy: [typing] Angel food cake with seven-minute frosting is red... [etc.]
    • Snoopy tries to write a letter to his "sweetheart," but once get caught up in thinking about desserts:
    Snoopy: [typing] Dear Sweetheart...
    Lucy: That's too impersonal. I think you should call her something more endearing.
    Snoopy: [typing] Dear Angel Food Cake With Seven Minute Frosting...
  • The introduction of Lydia, and Linus's irritation at her asking him, "Aren't you kind of old for me?" Linus is two months older than Lydia. Charlie Brown, trying to intercede on Linus' behalf, ends up making things worse by mentioning that Linus still has a security blanket.
    • Charlie Brown is being extremely (but hilariously) unhelpful in this storyline altogether. Whenever Linus vents to him about the girl who talks about being too old for him, Charlie Brown has a tendency to make comments that really don't make things any better.
    Linus: I walked across the street with her... that's all I did! You know what she said? She said "thanks, mister!" I'm only two moths older than her, and she calls me "mister"!
    Charlie Brown: I walked across the street with a girl once, and she said "so long, noodleneck."
  • Lucy photographs the baseball team in swimsuits for "our school newspaper's annual swimsuit issue," with Charlie Brown (in swimming trunks) as the cover boy, Snoopy posing in an old-fashioned 1920s-style swimsuit, and Schroeder putting on swimming trunks over his catcher's gear.
    Charlie Brown: Was it a sellout?
    Lucy: Not exactly.
    Charlie Brown: But you sold more than you've ever sold, didn't you?
    Lucy: Not exactly.
    Charlie Brown: How many did you sell?
    Lucy: None.
  • Charlie Brown shows Sally how to make a hat out of a newspaper. Well... technically, anyway.
  • A Sunday strip has Lucy going for a jog and colliding headfirst with Snoopy, Charlie Brown, and a utility pole, in that order, then crawling home in a daze. When Linus answers Lucy's doorbell ring, he ends up accidentally clobbering Lucy with the front door.
    Linus: That's funny... I thought somebody was there.
    Lucy: [lying on the ground, dazed] I used to be somebody and I used to be there.
  • Peppermint Patty taking a particularly tough exam in class:
    Patty: "Who did what, when, where, and why?" Good grief! This is the hardest test I've ever seen. The first question gave me a headache... The second question made my chest hurt... Ouch! The third question gave me a stomachache and shin-splints... I dread the next question. It'll probably knock me right out of my seat... [falls out of her desk] I was right! What a tough question!
    Patty: [on the way home] The teacher got kind of upset with me today, didn't she, Marcie?
    Marcie: Well, everything was all right until you started shouting, "MEDIC! MEDIC!"

1987

  • Sally going through her Christmas cards list and looking mighty peeved:
    Sally: I'm gonna scratch Annie off my Christmas card list. Annie didn't send me a card last year, so why should I send her one this year?
    Charlie Brown: You don't know anyone named Annie.
    Sally: That's no excuse!
  • Marcie proofreading Peppermint Patty's essay and telling her it's perfect - every word is misspelled.
  • While playing Foreign Legion, Snoopy, Woodstock and his bird pals march through all the sand traps on a golf course, pretending they're marching through the Sahara, and Charlie Brown is forced to re-rake the sand traps - all eighty of them. Just as an exhausted Charlie Brown finishes, Snoopy and his "troops" come marching across the sand traps again, undoing all of Charlie Brown's hard work.
    Snoopy: There it is, men... Fort Zinderneuf!
    Charlie Brown: AAUGH!
    Snoopy: We're the relief column from Tokotu... aren't you glad to see us?
  • Linus wants to send Lydia a Christmas card, but gets stonewalled when Lydia first won't tell him her address, then gives him a fake address so that the Christmas card comes back undelivered. However, she still manages to send Linus a card.
    Lucy: You didn't send her one, did you?
    Linus: I couldn't! She wouldn't ever tell me her address! [lying at the foot of the armchair in defeat] I've been out-Christmased!!

1988

  • Charlie Brown trades Lucy to Peppermint Patty's baseball team in exchange for Marcie (and a pizza). Patty turns out to be even less patient with Lucy's ineptitude at baseball than Charlie Brown is: when Lucy suggests that she missed a fly ball because "her glove wasn't big enough," Patty sarcastically replaces Lucy's glove with a shopping cart. After about a week, Patty's had enough of Lucy and decides to call off the trade. Not that it worked out so well for Charlie Brown either.
    Marcie: I guess I wasn't much help to your baseball team. I never scored a single goal. I never even made a free throw.
  • In a story arc that was later worked into the TV special It's Christmastime Again, Charlie Brown, Peppermint Patty ends up playing a sheep in the Christmas play. When it's time for her to go on stage...
    Peppermint Patty: Woof! Meow! Moo! Whatever.
    (the audience laughs)
    Peppermint Patty: (still singing as Marcie drags her off stage) And a partridge in a pear tree-e-e!
  • It seems Peppermint Patty's track record in holiday performances went from bad to worse at a "Sing-It-Yourself" performance of George Frederic Handel's Messiah; the artwork in the second panel is what really sells it:
    Peppermint Patty: [writing] This is my report on the trip our class took to the "Sing-It-Yourself Messiah".
    [cut to a flashback panel; Peppermint Patty and Marcie are standing in front of their theatre seats. Peppermint Patty has a Volumetric Mouth as Marcie stares at her in disbelief]
    Peppermint Patty: [writing] I was the only one who was asked to leave the auditorium.
  • Sally brings a "Praying Doll" to class for Show and Tell, and uses it as a weapon to slug a kid who pushes her out of the way. This gets her sent to the principal's office.
    Sally: [to the principal] Separation of church and state? No, sir, I've never heard of separation of church and state. But if that kid with the rocket launcher pushes me again, I'll separate his head from his neck!

1989

  • Charlie Brown gets a phone call out of the blue from a mysterious girl who claims to be an old friend, and takes Snoopy along to the mall to meet her. The girl turns out to be a Cloud Cuckoolander who thinks Snoopy is "Charlie Brown," and takes the beagle out for a marshmallow sundae.
    Girl: [in restaurant, indicating Charlie Brown] Who's this stupid kid who keeps staring at us through the window?
    Snoopy: If he has a round head, I might know him.

1991

  • Not content with calling Linus her Sweet Babboo, Sally declares herself his "Sweet Babbooette," and ends up clobbering him with her lunch box when he fails to reciprocate. Linus decides to sue Sally for assault, with Snoopy as his attorney.
    Sally: That's what you think! I've got his supper dish, see? If you sue me, I'll throw it over the fence!
    Snoopy: After careful consideration, I've decided we don't have a case.

1992

  • The Sunday strip of March 8: Lucy is so freaked out after being kissed by Snoopy that she runs home and jumps into the shower fully clothed. Funnily enough, Snoopy has a similar reaction.
    Lucy: [in the shower] AAUGH! I'VE BEEN KISSED BY DOG LIPS!! [after shower] BLEAH!
    Charlie Brown: [on the phone] Yeah, a strange thing just happened... my dog just came racing home, and jumped right into our shower.
    Snoopy: LIP LIPS!

1993

  • This strip for Father's Day 1993.
    Linus: What did you do for your dad for Father's Day, Charlie Brown?
    Charlie Brown: I let him play with my dog.

1994

  • Charlie Brown has a penpal in Scotland, who even writes her letters in brogue.
    Charlie Brown: [reading letter aloud] "Dear Charlie, Just been to the shops... Ma maw's in bed with a sore heid and ma da's makin mince and tatties for the dinner... Love, Morag."
    Snoopy: She does prattle on, doesn't she?

1995

  • Snoopy as Peter Rabbit's defense attorney.
  • Marcie trying to be a cheerleader. Her idea of a good cheer is "Nyahh nyahh! We're nicer than you!"
  • For this year's football gag, Lucy tells Charlie Brown if she does pull the ball away, he can always sue. The last panel is Charlie Brown running up to kick the ball followed by Snoopy dressed as the World Famous Attorney.

1996

  • Desperate for a dog, Rerun remembers that Snoopy's brother lives out in the desert. He suggests that Snoopy write to him inviting him to come live with him, promising that they could be pals, he could chase sticks, pull Rerun in his wagon and learn tricks. Snoopy begins the letter with "Dear Spike, This was not my idea..."

1997

  • Rerun makes a joke to his classmate about the two of them running away to Paris together, and gets suspended for sexual harassment. Mind you, he's a kindergartener.

1999

  • One of Lucy's final excuses for missing a fly ball: "The dandelions got in my eyes. When the sun reflects off the bright yellow dandelions, I can't see the ball."
  • Charlie Brown gives a report on Snoopy who stands in front of the classroom holding a staff. Snoopy objects to a student calling him a sheepdog and asking him why he's carrying a "stick thing", so he whacks the kid with it.
  • What ended up being the final kick-the-football strip. Lucy has to leave and tells Rerun to hold the ball in her place. Charlie Brown gets ready to kick it. Cut to later. Lucy asks Rerun if he pulled the ball away or let Charlie Brown kick it. Rerun smugly replies "you'll never know."
  • In one of the last strips ever, Charlie Brown is sitting with a very neutral expression he calls his "Joe Torre look". He calls it his secret weapon for the coming baseball season, saying he'll sit like that in the dugout all game long, and as a result, they will win every game.
    Sally: No, he can't come to the phone right now.. He's cracking up..

TV Specials

  • NOTE: A Charlie Brown Christmas and It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown have their own pages.
  • When Linus runs for school president in You're Not Elected, Charlie Brown, part of his campaign involves appearing on the radio to answer questions that voters ask through the phone. Unfortunately, two of the callers don't have anything relevant to ask, one of them just rambles about how much he wanted to talk to the candidate, and the last one forgets what she wanted to ask.
  • Snoopy does battle with a lawn chair. The lawn chair wins... kinda.
  • In the special It's the Easter Beagle, Charlie Brown, Marcie's epic failures on making Easter eggs. First she fries them, then she tries to put them in the waffle iron, the toaster, and oven, then finally, Peppermint Patty tells her to boil the eggs. And Marcie messes this up too, since she cracks the eggs open and pours them into the boiling water, culminating with Peppermint Patty finding out and roaring "Marcie, you made egg soup! AAUGH!!!"
    • Also near the end of the special, after she and Peppermint Patty get eggs from the Easter Beagle, Patty tells Marcie that "We put salt on the eggs and eat them." Marcie, who just happens to have a salt shaker in her pocket, salts the egg and bites it without taking the shell off and says, "Tastes terrible, sir!"
  • In Be My Valentine, Charlie Brown, Lucy destroying Schroeder's toy piano while ranting about "the tortures of the memory of a lost love."
  • In It's Arbor Day, Charlie Brown, Charlie Brown's reaction after seeing his new baseball field named after him. Later when the game gets rained out...
    Charlie Brown: Quitters! That's what you are! You're all a bunch of quitters!
    Sally: At least it's good for the crops, Charlie Brown.
    Charlie Brown: But we were winning! We were winning! We were winning!
  • It's Christmastime Again, Charlie Brown is just full of them, including some taken directly from the comics.
    • Case in point (based on the 23 December 1989 comic):
      Sally: (to Snoopy dressed as Santa Claus) If you're the real Santa Claus, where are your helpers?
      (three Woodstock clones walk by, wearing Santa hats and holding "HELP" signs)
      Sally: That's the dumbest thing I've ever seen!
    • Based on the 22 December 1984 comic, Peppermint Patty is cast as a sheep in the school Christmas play opposite Marcie as Mary and Franklin as the archangel Gabriel. Unfortunately for Marcie and Franklin, Peppermint Patty bleats over their dialogue:note 
      Franklin: I am Gabriel, Mary, and I couldn't hear you because of the sheep.
    • Earlier in the special, Charlie Brown tries to sell Christmas wreaths door-to-door:
      Charlie Brown: Would you like to buy a Christmas wreath?
      Violet: It isn't even Thanksgiving yet! By the time Christmas comes, all the needles will be falling off!
      Charlie Brown: Would you like to buy a Christmas wreath?
      Franklin: Do you know what you are doing? Don't you realize that you're adding to the over-commercializing of Christmas?
      Charlie Brown: Not till I sell one!
  • Any of the Funny Background Events in Happiness Is a Warm Blanket, Charlie Brown. Top prize goes to Charlie Brown trying to make a house of cards.
  • One really funny moment from It's an Adventure, Charlie Brown: an adaptation of when Peppermint Patty and Marcie were golf caddies. Marcie puts her shoe in the ball washer and says "My foot is caught in the shoe washer!". Marcie is also on top of the ball washer that is about double her height, making one wonder how in the heck she has gotten up there.
  • In the first segment of Charlie Brown's Christmas Tales, Rerun comes across Snoopy dressed as Santa.
    Rerun: So, Mr. Fancy Claus, remember me? My name is Rerun. What happened to all...the things you were gonna bring me for Christmas last year? Kinda forget, didn't ya, huh? I don't suppose you'd care to explain, would ya, huh?
    Snoopy: (explodes at him)
  • Due to being one of the earliest television specials note , You're in Love, Charlie Brown is ripe with Early Installment Weirdness in its drawings and animation, resulting in many hilarious Off-Model expressions not far away from each other, which is considerably rare in a Peanuts special.
  • Charlie Brown surprises everyone, himself included, by actually doing well in the decathlon in You're the Greatest, Charlie Brown, but no-one is more surprised than Lucy, and her reactions to his success are some of the funniest moments of the special. When Charlie Brown places first in the discus, Lucy yells, "Stop the world, I want to get off!" And when he takes an early lead in the 1500m, she says, "Charlie Brown has the lead! I may faint!" Of course, balance is restored when he closes his eyes, misses the first turn in the track, and runs out of the stadium and out of contention...
    Patty: Good grief! He ran off the track! He lost the race!
  • The montage of comic vignettes in the first act of There's No Time for Love, Charlie Brown showing Charlie Brown, Sally, Linus, Lucy, Peppermint Patty, and Franklin's collective academic struggles is full of hilarious moments.
    • Charlie Brown's struggles include getting Cs in every class and describing himself to Linus as "a straight-'blah' student"; trying to tell his teacher that he hasn't done his report on Africa and dissolving into a cry of "I THROW MYSELF UPON THE MERCY OF THE COURT!"; telling Linus that he worries about school and about worrying about school; and reeling after Linus tells him about the importance of getting good grades to advance from grammar school to high school to college to graduate school to the workforce, and then their kids can then get good grades to advance from grammar school to high school to college to...
    • Sally's struggles include writing a report about agriculture in which she says melons must be planted between 15 May and 5 June and wonders what happens if you are out of town during those weeks; being cut off halfway through a "show and tell" presentation after declaring the box she has brought has things in it to fill her classmates with fear, terror, and horror; attempting to answer a mathematics question and soon resorting to guessing random numbers; melting down as she reads the list of set theory topics in her "new math" book, as all she wants to know is "how much is two and two";note  and immediately regretting telling her teacher that she could not possibly care less who Henry IV's father was, describing it as a "gut reaction".
    • Peppermint Patty's struggles include a science project (Franklin says he'll do his on metals in the earth and how they have influenced mankind's development; Patty's reaction to the project inspires her to do one on stomachaches); advising Franklin that any book on psychology that can be understood cannot possibly be any good; prompting Franklin to swear off measuring for the rest of his life rather than face learning the metric system;note  asking Charlie Brown if he'd put her high school graduation photo on his piano and being told the Brown family doesn't have a piano; assuring Franklin that in algebra problems, x is nearly always 11 and y is nearly always 9; answering a mathematics question incorrectly and instructing "the jury" to "please disregard that last statement"; and declaring after reading another mathematics question that it's finally happened: her education has ground to a halt.
    • Linus and Lucy's struggles include a complicated mathematics problem that reduces Lucy to pretending to be a phone operator unable to complete Linus' call and telling him to dial again; and Linus saying that there's no way to do "new math" problems with an "old math" mind.
    • Even Snoopy gets in on things, donning his Joe Cool costume and winking at Violet - who slaps him across the face so hard his sunglasses break.
  • In Someday You'll Find Her, Charlie Brown, Snoopy and Woodstock arrive at the Happy Valley Farm where the third girl who was at the football game lives. Snoopy ends up having a little bit of trouble crossing the cattle guard, but once he gets across, he and Woodstock are attacked by the bobcat from Race for Your Life, Charlie Brown and get chased back across the cattle guard, which Snoopy has problems getting through again. Charlie Brown and Linus show up and, ignoring Snoopy and Woodstock trying to warn them about the cat, walk in past the cat, as Charlie Brown pets him. Then they learn the hard way that Snoopy and Woodstock were telling the truth about the cat and get chased behind a hill and then back over the cattle guard.
  • The Charlie Brown and Snoopy Show:
    • "Giant" from "Snoopy and the Giant":
      • Woodstock forcing Snoopy to wear old farmer's clothes so he can be a scarecrow. After making some birds laugh instead, Snoopy screams in a fit of rage and throws the clothes to the ground.
      • Snoopy's encounter with a garden hose come to life. He takes shelter from behind his doghouse and then peeks from behind to see if the coast is clear... and so does the hose. They both peer out at the same time, and the hose sprays Snoopy.
      • Some time after escaping from the giant's clutches, Woodstock wakes Snoopy one morning when he drives out of the doghouse with a tractor. Snoopy takes the key out of the ignition and goes back to sleep, Woodstock chirping all the while.
    • "Spike" from the episode "Snoopy's Brother Spike" recreates the arc where Lucy prepares Spike to fight the cat next door by feeding him milkshakes. The animated version has an alternate ending to conclude the episode. A fattened Spike sees the cat next door the first time, and the sight scares all the excess weight right off him.
  • You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown: Schroeder typing a book report on The Tale of Peter Rabbit. The three lines "I found it very", "I liked the part where" and "It was a" are typed and deleted with the music starting and stopping each time.
  • You're a Good Sport, Charlie Brown: At the beginning of the race, Charlie Brown and the Masked Marvel get into a wreck and are picked up by first aid. Their ambulance is shown stopping at a Cat and Dog hospital, and then driving on to the city hospital. We then see the Masked Marvel reading a magazine in a hospital bed, and then showing Charlie Brown in a cage surrounded by animals, slowly waking up from his dazed state.

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