Funny / Captainsauce

Captainsauce spends a lot of time laughing at his own games. You know this page has the potential to get long.

General

• The "Whhhhaaaaaaaat?!" sound he makes upon being surprised by stuff practically counts on its own.
• Any time something gets launched incredibly far away, Cap will commonly remark that he "blew it into the next area code".

The Sims 4 Series

• Basically the default mode of the Life of Kevin is this.
• A blooper during "A Fiery Ending" shows that while Captainsauce was trying to shoot the ending (Tommy and a pregnant Emma standing in front of a grave) to make it appear that Kevin had died in the fire, Kevin walked into the frame.
• Luc Beau, from A Bad Witch is such a terrible vampire that Amy, after having been a vampire for about five hours, can already offer to train him.
• Amy takes her household, which at this point includes Chucky, over to a neighbor's house. While there, Chucky starts a fire. Everyone is panicking...except Holly, who can be seen in the background taking a hit of the bubble machine.
• The first couple of episodes of Grim Parenting are even more hilariously chaotic than usual, given there are four toddlers running around, while the Grim Reaper is unemployed and has no idea how to raise children.
• The Grim Reaper, after being fired as being the soul reaper, becomes a doctor. The concept is funny enough, but then Grim shows up in hospital scrubs with a bit of his cloak poking through due to the model.
  • And then Grim meets Debbie Death. He then appears determined to become a terrible doctor so he can see her more often.

Subnautica (Full Release) Series

How It All Began - Episode #1

• Cap's reaction to the opening cutscene, which is loaded with Black Comedy.
  Cap: No, no, we can't launch yet! I don't have my life pod buddy! Right, this is a pod for two, we need to wait for...(looks up to see the Aurora violently exploding)...Jimmy. Jimmy is now vaporized.
• Cap frantically chasing down Peepers and Bladderfish for the first few minutes of the game is incredibly amusing to watch.
  Cap: (while chasing a Bladderfish) Listen, I know it might be a bit awkward that we've only just met and that I want to drink you, but if you could just go in my pocketses please!
• While sarcastically talking to the PDA, Cap absentmindedly calls her "Karen", and gets an amused giggle out of the fact that he actually remembered the name he gave her in his original series.

We're Not Alone - Episode #2

• Cap mentions how the comments reminded him about the names he gave to the Gasopods in his original Subnautica series. At first he thought it was Bert and Ernie, but the viewers reminded him that it was actually Poot and Shat.
• As the Aurora undergoes a nuclear explosion, Cap wonders aloud if he should be hiding behind something for protection, only for the denetation to interrupt him mid-sentence.
  Cap: Am I gonna glow in the dark? Should I be- (Aurora explodes in the distance, rattling the screen) behind something? Too late for decisions!
• Cap yelling at a nearby Stalker to stay away from his newly built Seamoth.

Survivor Rendezvous Point - Episode 3

• Cap getting into knife fights with the Cave Crawlers on the Floating Island.
• After journeying to the Floating Island in hopes of meeting up with other survivors, Cap is dismayed and slightly annoyed to learn that the only two survivors died anyway, and that trip was essentially just for fruit and base parts.

The Sunbeam Landing - Episode #4

• Cap getting jumpscared by the levitating elevator in the alien quarantine base.
• Upon returning to his life pod after briefly exploring the alien island, Cap innocently decides to listen to the radio transmission, only to be met with horrifying garbled messages of the Warpers. His reaction speaks for itself.
  Cap: (terrified) Okay, that's unrelated. That's a whole lotta goosebumps going up my back. What the hell was that?! What did I wake up?
  • Later when exploring the alien island more, Cap encounters a Warper face-to-face for the first time. At first he considers scanning it, but then wisely decides to book it when the creature teleports him into a wall and nearly causes him to drown.
  Cap: Yeah, you know what? Anything with these...( mimics the Warper's pincers) you just don't try to scan!
• Cap befriends a little Skyray while sitting on the beach, and abruptly pulls his knife on it and cheerfully declares he's going to wear it as a hat.
• Cap's reaction to the Sunbeam getting shot down by the alien gun building. You can see him rapidly putting the pieces together as the building shifts around and the inevitable disaster strikes.
  Cap: It doesn't look like a building. It looks more like a...gun. Oh no, no, no!
  (BOOOOOM)
  Cap: (despairing and laughing) No! I've been standing on this beach for forty minutes!

Doomsday Device Is Live - Episode 5

• Cap discovers this episode that his character is infected with a strange local bacteria, and therefore can't shut down the alien weapon. Needless to say, he's not thrilled.
  Cap: When did I get infected?! I haven't banged any of the local flora or fauna! You did this to me! (Notices the depth indicator) I'm also at 69 metres deep, which can only mean one thing!
• While exploring the alien quarantine facility, Cap discovers a strange arch structure that he jokingly calls a Stargate. This becomes especially hilarious a few episodes later, when it turns out he's not far off from that statement.
• Cap reaches a rather interesting conclusion after reading the "Responsible Autonomous Relationships" PDA entry.
  Cap: So what I got from that was I should have multiple wives when I return, and there's really no problem with banging aliens? (Beat) Sounds good!
• While exploring the Aurora wreck, Cap comments on the strange vocalizing noises in the background and calls it a "ghost whale". Much later, he abruptly gets a vision of a strange glowing creature^note The Sea Emperor that closely resembles that description, and he frightfully admits that he was just messing around.
  Creature: What...are...you?
  Cap: I'm...piss-shit terrified! What are you?! What the hell was that?! I was joking when I was talking about ghost whales! I didn't expect to actually be confronted by a ghost whale!

Reapers Everywhere - Episode 6

• Cap trying to scan for Cyclops parts while desperately trying to avoid the Reaper Leviathans around the Aurora wreck.
  Cap: I hear - (looks up to see a roaring Reaper above him) screaaaaaming in the water! Okay, okay, okay! Put it in reverse, Karen! Put it in reverse!
  • After narrowly escaping from one such close encounter, Cap notes that his Seamoth is at only 3% health, and in his words, was "a Gyarados sneeze away from exploding."

The Hidden Alien Labs - Episode 7

• Cap runs afoul of a Warper on his way to the Disease Research Facility, which keeps teleporting him out of his Seamoth as he tries to escape. His fear quickly fades into annoyance as the creature refuses to leave him be, and eventually kills him.
  • Cap then decides to just reload his save file to spare himself the hassle of rebuilding the Seamoth and finding upgrades.
• Upon discovering the Grand Reef's Degasi base, a Crabsquid makes its presence known right as Cap arrives, prompting him to give the Crabsquid a taste of torpedo. It gets hit so hard, it spirals out of the biome.
  Cap: Where did it go? I think I hit it so hard, I blew it into the next area code!
• While frantically trying to make it back to the Seamoth, Karen pipes up to inform Cap that he's running out of oxygen.
  Cap: Yes, I'm gonna get to the surface in no time, Karen! Thank you for that!
• Cap's bemused reaction to the large fossilized fish found in the Disease Research Lab, calling it a "giant Magikarp".
  Cap: Are you what evolve into the Gyaradoses I keep encountering?

The Deepest Part of Subnautica - Episode 8

• On his way to the Lost River, Cap revisits the Degasi base in the Grand Reef to look for one of the Cuddlefish eggs, and quickly runs into the Crabsquid that was giving him trouble last time. Its EMPs keep messing with his flashlight as he tries to explore, and Cap is reduced to fearful laughing as the creature looms over him from the outside.
  Cap: (flickering his flashlight on and off) I'm trying to communicate with it. I'm just gonna Morse code "f(OOF)k off!"
• Cap's increasingly horrified reaction to the Sea Dragon. Especially when it keeps getting uncomfortably close to the Cyclops.
• Upon activating the alien arch network, Cap is reminded of an amusing statement he made a few episodes back about it being a "Stargate".
  Cap: I said it looked like a Stargate, but I was being a smart-ass.

Sea Emperor Containment - Episode 9

• Cap reasons that the ancient aliens of the planet definitely knew how to have a good time, given all their advanced technology.
  Cap: All I know for sure is that they really knew how to party. Right? Disease research and Jell-O pool wrestling? The sexiest of combinations.
• "Oh good, we found the alien local Y.M.C.A."
• After realizing that the Sea Emperor has the Enzyme 42 cure trailing behind her, Cap awkwardly asks if he can suck on her butt to get the cure.
  Cap: Never ask a lady when you meet her if you can suck on her butt. She might not be into that.

Blast Off - Episode 10

• Cap cooing over the newly hatched Cuddlefish, which he appropriately nicknames "Cuddles".
• Cap's increasing frustration at how tedious it is to build the Neptune rocket. Even more so when he learns that it requires a Cyclops shield generator, which can only be built on the Cyclops. Which is currently resting at the bottom of the ocean. Unsurprisingly, Cap decides to just use cheat commands to get past the hassle.

The Henry Stickmin Collection

How To Not Break Out Of Prison

• Cap remarks how it's nearly impossible to accidentally kill yourself with a shovel, only for Henry to do exactly that by hitting the bank's gas main.
  Cap: We've got our trusty Hyrulian shovel firmly between our cheeks, and we're gonna get to digging.
  (Henry hits something with the shovel and pulls out his lighter to see)
  Cap: Uh..."gas main"-
  (BOOM)
• The beginning of the long saga of Henry's failure with the teleporter, which starts off with the unfortunate stickman getting splinched into the wall of the bank.
  Cap: Great! So now those pipes are full of explosive gas and stickman dick!
• Cap's reaction to the various items smuggled into the cake for Henry to escape with.
  Cap: You see, at first I thought it was a chocolate cake. Turns out it's a file/Gatorade/teleporter/rocket launcher/cellphone/drill cake. My favourite!

Stealing The 126M Dollar Diamond

• Cap gets repeatedly annoyed with Henry completely failing at the most simple tasks, particularly when trying to bust in museum at the start.
  Cap: Well, if our face is going to be on the security footage, then the security guards' faces are going to be on the bottom of our feet! (Henry kicks one guard, but zooms off and crashes) Or not. Oh c'mon, Henry! You've got two feet, there are two guards! Do the math!
• When the Fail screen spouts some BS about "torque" during one of the scooter fails, Cap retorts that "This scooter has about as much torque as an RC car".
• Cap's reaction to Henry getting shot by the cops in one of the fails.
  Cap: I don't think you can kill a guy for just standing there. But then again, I'm Canadian, what do I know?
• Henry attempts to use a sticky grenade against the cops, with predictable results. Meanwhile, Cap is still thoroughly confused by the extent of Henry's Hammerspace abilities.
  Cap: Where did the sticky grenade come from? We saw him pick up the rock. Did he just pull the grenade out of his ass? Why didn't it stick to the inside of his ass?!
• Cap's description of what might happen to Henry while using the shrink ray.
  Cap: Question is, how is he gonna fail? Is he gonna get stepped on? (giant worm pops up and roars at Henry) Is he gonna have his butthole ravaged by a worm? Probably the latter!

I Made Good Mistakes While Infiltrating The Airship

• The video's thumbnail is worth a laugh in and of itself, featuring a vividly blushing Henry getting caught in the safe with a pretty red-haired stick woman. The implications are clear.
• Cap presents a challenge for the audience: If the video gets 69'000 likes, he'll giggle to himself a bit and return for another video.
• When Henry attempts to use acid to break open the airship door, Cap warns aloud that he'll lose it if the wind blows the acid back at him, even though it didn't blow the hat off the Toppat goon in the previous fail. Cue that exact scenario happening.
  Cap: How does that work?!
• Cap's increasing annoyance at Charles and his not very helpful assistance.
• While Cap would have preferred to continue further after getting the Government ending and the Lightning Quick Larcenist fail, he winds up having to end the video a bit sooner because Zeke won't leave him alone.

I Stole The Airship's Most Valuable Treasure

• Cap mentions at the beginning of the video that he never got to have his immature laugh over the previous episode reaching 69'000 likes...because the viewers past by the goal so quickly, he never got to see it.
• Cap's exasperation when Henry gets distracted by playing Civ V instead of looking for evidence.
  Cap: Not Civ V, no! Now is not the time to spend seven hours having Gandhi drop nukes from space!
• After Henry electrocutes himself trying to hack open the vault door, Cap quips that he should have used the Power Glove while hacking it, since it's probably electrically insulated.
• Henry tries using an umbrella to escape the crashing airship, with predictable results, much to Cap's amusement.
  Cap: I thought we were going to pull a Mary Poppins, but instead we just pulled a seagull!

I Took Over The Toppat Clan

• Cap's bewildered reaction to Henry metalbending the airship, claiming that if he has that ability he should be using it way more often.
  Cap: Since when is he Magneto?!
• Cap going back through all the different endings in order to get the Secret Ending, only to come out the other end incredibly confused and a bit disappointed.
  Cap: We got...Biggol Sword. Okay...Why did I want Biggol's sword? Who's Biggol?

Save Ellie With A Distraction

• After being introduced to the Warden, Cap tries to predict his name, and cycles through a handful of stereotypical Russian names: Boris, Dmitri, Igor, Ivan, and Vladimir. Turns out he was right on the second guess.
• The Running Gag of Cap aggressively shipping Henry with Ellie, and making all the hilarious innuendos in the world.
  • When attempting the Tall Guys ruse, Cap muses that there's a possibility that Ellie might sit on Henry's face. He's then visibly annoyed when this turns out to not be the case.
  • This gem of a line when the pair attempt a "Bounce Bros" maneuver:
  Cap: I can think of at least one thing she can bounce on!
  (Henry and Ellie immediately falter and land in a crumpled mess)
  Cap: His head. I meant his head, because it's a Mario Bros reference. Get your mind out of the gutter!
• Cap dancing along to Henry's distraction dance, which absolutely must be seen to be believed.
• "Well, the good news is Henry got choked by a girl, so that's a start. The bad news is all Hell just broke loose!"
• Cap gets curious about the instant replay on one of the fails, and immediately gets his ears blown out by the volume.
  Cap: (wincing) Oh! That's what you meant by "sound warning!"
• Cap admits how strange it is that Ellie is there to suggest actually good ideas, in contrast to Henry's wild shenanigans.
  Cap: It honestly feels weird playing this game and having someone with good ideas. It's off-putting. It's like swimming around in a McDonald's ball pit and having someone read Shakespeare!
• Cap once again demonstes his ability to predict the outcomes of Henry's choices.
  Cap: Honestly though, what could making a dumb face do? I swear, if we just distract him and he gets run over by a car or something completely unpredictable, I'm gonna be slightly pissed.
  (Henry makes a face; Grigori and Ellie glare at him)
  Grigori: What, you think that will upset me? Oh, very matur-(gets slammed by an ATV)
  Cap: (collapses into hysterical laughter)
• Cap's jealousy that other YouTubers like Markiplier and Jacksepticeye have likenesses in the games.
  Cap: Man, how do I get a character in one of these games? I'd give my left nut to be in this game!

The Greatest Plaaaan

• Cap's backwards reasoning for blaming the failure of Henry's Faking the Dead gambit on Ellie:
  Cap: You know what, I'm gonna blame this one on Ellie! If she was an ugly dude, we could've murdered her and tested to see where the body goes before we committed. But no, Henry couldn't go and choke her to death. (starts snickering) Because...he wants her to choke him!
• Cap getting briefly jumpscared by the Freddy Fazbear fail.
• Henry attempts to sneak past some guards while disguised as a snowman, and Cap can't help but chuckle at the sight. This chuckle quickly evolves into bemused laughter as the guards freak out and shoot Henry while shouting "Frosty's escaping!"
• Cap's reaction to Henry picking the Warp Star option of escape, and his subsequent reaction to where Henry ends up.
  Cap: Uh, if my choice is Warp Star or death, I'll take Warp Star. You can paint me pink and call me Kirby!
  (Henry goes sailing through the air, then violently crashes into the same jail cell from Escaping the Prison)
  Cap: No.....No! We're back to the poop cauldron! How does this happen?!
• Henry gets locked in the quarantine bay with a bunch of incredibly sick inmates, including a leprosy-stricken guy named Ray Rudolpho. Cap then worriedly asks if it's too late for the trash shute as an alternative.
• The glorious return of Charles, and his bizarre methods of trying to help Henry.
  Charles: It'll be just like the old times!
  Cap: No, no it shouldn't be like the old times. The "old times" did not go well; you got me killed, like, twenty-two out of twenty-six possible opportunities. Guaranteed if I leave this up to you, those thumbs are going right up my butt! (selects Charles' option)
  Charles: I've got the perfect plan! (singing) This is the greatest plaaaaaan!
  Cap: (through his laughter) Why does his plan always involve crashing the helicopter into me?

I Shouldn't Have Betrayed Ellie

• During the opening cutscene of the Bounty/Allies route, Cap can't help but notice the rather suggestive way in which Ellie is seated on the tank's gun◊.
  Cap: Are we not going to address the fact that Ellie elected not to take a seat in the tank, and instead perch her cooter on the gun? If we fire this thing, we're going to rearrange her insides!
  • And a few minutes later when he learns that firing the gun is the correct option:
  Cap: I guess we'll fire the cannon and hope that Ellie has a titanium vagoo?

I Took Things Too Far With Ellie, Queen Of The Toppats

• Upon seeing just how pissed off Ellie is at Henry for abandoning her in the Executive/Ghost path, Cap comes to a certain conclusion about his chances with Ellie.
  Cap: Okay, I'm guessing there isn't a chance for zero-g space nookie at this point!
• During the Executive/Allies route, Cap sees that one of the options given to defend the rocket is to use the helicopter, and asks Henry what exactly his plan is. Cue Dynamic Entry, ala Charles.
  Cap: Sorry, I should have said I would love to see what your greatest plan is!
• Cap muses on just what exactly Henry might plan to do with a flute as a means of defense.
  Cap: Is he going to put them to sleep? He going to make them start dancing? Is he gonna shove it up his butt sideways and make them run in fear?
• Cap instantly catches the Leeroy Jenkins option and eagerly selects it, despite knowing that it'll be a fail. As Henry charges off and immediately gets shot, Cap just smirks and says it was Worth It.

Completing The Mission As A Cyborg Assassin

• While going through the Executive/Betrayed route, Dr. Vinschpinsilstien immediately catches Cap's attention, and he suggests that if Ellie doesn't work out, Henry's always got options.
• Upon catching up to Reginald, Cap has a rather succinct threat for him.
  Reginald: No! What are you going to do?
  Cap: I am gonna shove this gun up your stick butt sideways. I don't care if that's not an option!
• During the Executive/Dead path, Cap picks the Walkthrough option and gets suckered to watching the video ramble on and loop incessantly, visibly bored to tears over the whole thing and mocking the in-universe YouTuber for constantly shilling the like and subscribe button. Only to immediately do the same thing after the fail pops up.
• After Henry crashes the Big Boy tank in the Hijack fail, Cap expresses his annoyance at Henry's incompetence, especially considering he has a successful history of driving tanks in the past.

Only Room For 1 In This Escape Pod

• Cap's continuing grudge against the in-game government for blackmailing him with his freedom in Airship, saying that law and order can go "tongue-punch my fart box".
• The Running Gag of Cap asking the audience which option they think is the dumbest, with Cap commenting that he feels like Dora the Explorer.
• Henry tossing a literal Red Herring into the rocket's engine, which causes Cap to burst out laughing at the absurdity of it all.
• While trying to infiltrate the Toppats' orbital station in the Government/Dead route, Cap repeatedly expresses his distrust of Charles' plans to help, and cringes in dread when it turns out that the "Charles" option is the right choice. Except, as Charles is performing his bold action, the game crashes mid-cutscene, catching Cap completely off-guard.

The Best Possible Ending

• Cap's silent reactions to the opening cutscene, going from rolling his eyes in annoyance at Charles' antics, to waggling his eyebrows suggestively when Ellie brings up how well she and Henry worked together in the past.
• Cap gets a very amused laugh out of Henry's Minecraft fail, and finds the items he exploded into to be very appropriate.
  Cap: I really like the fact that he exploded into brown shoes, a stick, and meat, because he is a brown shoe-wearing stickman with a cooked steak for a brain.
• While he doesn't dance along to it like last time, Cap is incredibly amused to see the return of Henry's famous distraction dance, bopping along to the beat with a big grin on his face.

Being A Thief Has Consequences

• Cap's dumbfounded reaction to Henry and Ellie's complete disaster of an attempt to fight with an RPG and a rope.
  Cap: I don't even know what their plan was there. I don't think even they knew what their plan was there. Even the narrator doesn't know what their plan was there!
• When Reginald offers to let Henry and Ellie join the Toppats in exchange for Henry returning the ruby, Cap immediately gets a look of displeasure on his face, and quips that such an action isn't really an option when Henry is involved.
• Cap telling Henry he's not Evel Knievel when he tries to use a ramp to cross a gap in the rocket during the Thief/Dead path. He then later tells Henry he's also not a Ringling Brother when he tries to use the cannon.
• Once again, the sheer force of Henry and friends' shenanigans proves to be too much for the game engine to handle, as Henry tries to Unrelenting Force his way out of a situation, causing Cap's game to fully freeze in the middle of the cutscene.
  Cap: Why does this keep happening?! He yelled so hard, the program exploded!

I Stole An Entire Space Station Full Of People

• Cap's immediate discomfort at seeing Henry slamming crotch first into a parking gate.
  Cap: Yeah, you know what? Ramming your junk into a parking gate at like 50 mph is probably gonna make you freeze up a little.
• "Once again, I've punched my one-way ticket to a crater that would make Frieza's nips rock hard!"

Time Travel To Correct The Multiverse

• Cap once again getting sidetracked by the presence of a female stickperson in the absence of Ellie, in this case Amelia Esteban.
  • When the team is formulating a plan to get past Right Hand Man, Cap suggests sending in Amelia to twerk and distract everyone, then wonders aloud if stick people can even twerk in the first place.
• Cap's increasing amusement at the Running Gag of Henry trying to Default Dance and getting literally shot down every time.
  • The first time it happens, Cap jokes that Henry is trying to pull a Peter Quill, and laughs his head off when Henry immediately gets shot in the face.

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