Okay, that last chapter might have been relatively sober. Perhaps you'll like this one, with a Scans Daily favorite, Robin in bondage!
World's Finest #147, February 1965: "The New Terrific Team!" Writer: Edmond Hamilton, Penciller: Curt Swan, Inker: George Klein.
On the cover, Robin and Jimmy Olsen are wearing unusual costumes with glowing rocks as chest emblems. Their heads are sticking out of the giant vacuum tubes they're imprisoned in and what looks like a Van de Graff generator is arcing energy at those same heads. The boys are either very angry, or in pain. The seeming torture device is connected to a control pedestal Superman is operating. Batman intercedes, pointing out that this treatment is killing the kids, but Superman claims "This has to be done", and not to try and stop him. Off-hand, I'm going to guess that the glowing rocks have something to do with all this.
The splash page is Robin cutting Batman's swing rope with a Batarang while Jimmy threatens Superman with Kryptonite. This scene is not in the story.
The story proper opens with Jimmy and Robin driving up to an abandoned observatory, rendered unusable for its original purpose by dangerous landslides. Somehow, the boys have managed to get rights to the place, and plan to use it as a museum for souvenirs of the joint Superman-Batman cases. Among these are a clock with human faces instead of numbers, a crossbow, a couple of "monster puppets" and a tiny condemned skyscraper miniaturized by Brainiac. Oh, and mixed in by accident are a couple of space jewels Superman gave Jimmy for his rock collection. These glowing beauties stick to any surface they're placed on, and Robin mentions that they'd make great chest emblems. If, you know, the boys ever decided to form their own crimefighting team.
The skyscraper reminds the boys that they totally saved Batman and Superman's asses on that case, but the world can never know. Come to think of it, Jimmy and Robin have plenty of experience and moxie, they could totally do crimefighting on their own and not be just kid sidekicks. And they can use this "Eyrie" they own as their base, and have new uniforms, it'll be totally cool. In under a page, they've gone from loyal sidekicks to tossing away their belt radio and signal watch to signal independence. This could not possibly end badly.
The next step is getting cool vehicles. They can pick up a plane and modifications for the Olsenmobile at the Batcave! (In this story, Jimmy is old enough to drive. One thing the Silver Age comics weren't consistent on was Jimmy's age—he'd be treated as anywhere between 14 and 19 depending on the needs of the story, often varying wildly even in stories in the same issue.) Robin leads the way in appropriating a special folding plane and some superchargers. Jimmy voices some concern about this, but Robin assures his partner that he co-owns everything in the Batcave by way of sweat equity. Despite this assurance, the boys still feel uneasy enough to hide when Batman pulls into the cave.
Batman, who's been out looking for Robin, since the Boy Wonder isn't responding to radio hails, notices immediately that some car parts are missing. The boys bolt in the emergency folding plane, using its ability to fly in heavily forested areas to prevent Batman from following in the Batplane. Worried that the incidents might be connected, Batman calls in Superman. The Man of Steel is likewise worried as Jimmy Olsen never showed up for their date mission appointment, and can't be located. Time to investigate!
It turns out the Eyrie has a lead-lined dome to keep out cosmic radiation and Superman's pesky X-ray vision, and the boys are able to complete their vehicle modifications without interruption. The Robinplane and Olsenmobile are field-ready! While test-flying the plane, the boys come across a tank of rocket fuel about to explode. Apparently, some 1960s ancestor of Homer Simpson pushed the "make rocket fuel explode" control instead of the "keep rocket fuel safe" control. The boys use the plane's grappling hook to pull the tank to an unpopulated area so it can explode safely. The rocket company president is grateful, and the boys ask for some rocket parts to build a crime-fighting rocket craft.
Superman and Batman show up. When they ask about the new uniforms and why the boys didn't let them know what was up, Robin and Jimmy haughtily inform the elder heroes that they're big boys now and out on their own. Superman wants to trail the younger duo, but Batman is pretty sure that the boys are putting on an act for some clever plan. (I mean, it's not like it wouldn't be the fifth or sixth time something like that has happened in this series alone.)
While off to collect the rocket parts in the Olsenmobile, the boys hear about stranded salvage divers. Good thing they have their SCUBA gear in the trunk! On the way, they recklessly ram the Batmobile out of the way when Batman attempts to answer the same distress call, and the Caped Crusader is delayed trying to avoid a wreck. He thinks that the boys' act is getting a little too realistic.
At the docks, Jimmy and Robin swiftly rescue the divers. When Batman arrives, he orders Robin to spill the beans on the "secret plan." Robin balks at the "order" thing, and warns Batman not to try anything, or he'll expose both Batman and Superman's secret identities. Jimmy backs him up on this. (By the by, Jimmy Olsen knows Batman and Robin's secret identities at this point, having been given them as a consolation for not knowing Superman's, on the grounds that no one would bother asking him for the names of Gotham City's heroes.) Batman angsts over having treated Robin as a child for too long, so that the boy came to resent him.
The boys give a quick press conference in which they claim that most of Batman and Superman's success over the years was due to the unsung backscenes work of the sidekicks, but they're out in the open now. They haul the rocket parts back to the Eyrie and build their special craft, but in order to make it really work, they'll need radioactive fuel, which is going to be really expensive.
Elsewhere, Batman and Superman wish that Jimmy and Robin had just talked to them about the problem instead of running off. But the moping is interrupted by sea-creatures attacking Surf City, a plush resort. The "monsters" are actually realistic-looking remote controlled machines. Superman and Batman easily defeat the main attack, but that was actually a diversion for one machine to make off with a display of rare gems. So rare, that the owner offers $50,000 (real money back in 1965) to have them returned. Superman confidently assures that he can get the treasure back for free, but lead-lining defeats him again.
The boys get ready to show their mentors up again. Batman thinks that they'll soon cool their heads after some setbacks. But in fact, Robin has already figured out who sent the monsters. It's the Animator, a movie special effects man who got paid a pittance for the amazing creatures he designed and has turned to crime. The most distinctive part of his design is the floppy "artist" tie he wears. As the Robinplane approaches his island hideout, and a figure parachutes from it, the Animator sends out his mechanical giant eagles to dispose of the intruder. The eagles tear the parachutist to bits...just off panel.
Good thing the boys tested the island's defenses by sending a realistic dummy of Jimmy out there first. Jimmy makes sure the control panel for the monsters is out of commission while Robin stomps the Animator's gang. The boys turn over the crooks, but not before making sure they've secured the reward. Batman is appalled that the kids now seem only to fight crime for profit, and Superman mentions how odd it was that they knew exactly where to find the Animator. But the elder heroes can't trail the boys, due to the whole "reveal your ID" threat. Robin and Jimmy continue to hunt criminals for the bounties on their heads.
Finally, the boys have enough money to buy radioactive fuel from Acme Radioactive Chemicals. I hope they kept the receipt. Superman's been following all this with his telescopic vision, and suddenly realizes why the kids need a radioactive-powered rocket craft. He takes Batman on a quick trip to the planet where he picked up those space jewels the boys have been wearing. Batman puts one of the jewels on his chest, and feels an overwhelming urge to put it back where it belongs. Yep, the jewels the boys are wearing just want to get home and came up with this elaborate plan to do so. Superman is immune to the jewels' telepathic powers, which is why he thought they were harmless.
But now that he knows otherwise, Superman decides that he must prevent the danger of more jewels being brought to Earth and dominating humans...at any cost! (Actually, this is a big jump—the jewels clearly want to go home, once there, why would they allow more of their kind to be taken away?) So it's back to Earth, just in time to watch Robin and Jimmy blast off in their rocket. Superman stops the rocket, while Batman makes the device we saw on the cover. Merely removing the jewels would do no good, as their telepathy works at a distance, so Superman shocks the teens repeatedly until the alien minds retreat back into the jewels.
Once freed, Robin and Jimmy disavow the idea of ever turning on their beloved mentors as Superman flies the jewels back to their homeworld. Happy Ending.
Again, there was no reason to believe the jewels wouldn't have released the boys unharmed once back on their homeworld. Superman just preferred the idea of electrical torture.
Your thoughts, comments?
And here we are at our third installment, and hoping that someone is actually reading this.
World's Finest #148, March 1965: "Superman and Batman — Outlaws!" Writer: Edmond Hamilton, Penciller: Curt Swan, Cover Inker: George Klein, Interior Inker: Sheldon Moldoff.
The cover depicts Batman and Superman leaping down from...somewhere, while cops shoot at them. Batman has a tote bag with strands of jewelry hanging from it. Superman allows the police bullets to harmlessly bounce off his chest. Batman thanks Supes for the protection, and offers to split the loot at the Batcave. Superman threatens the police with retaliation the next time they shoot at his partner. The police bemoan their inability to catch super-criminals. (This scene does not appear in the story.)
The splash page is a bit more indicative; the police have recruited Lex Luthor (now with Kryptonite (tm) manacles) and Clayface to stop the Superman-Batman team. Batman suggests that this is a nightmare, but Superman assures him the event is real.
The story opens with Batman and Superman being summoned by the Gotham Science Foundation. They decide to leave Robin and Jimmy Olsen behind for this case. At the Foundation, our heroes are shown a device that looks kind of like a planetarium globe. It was invented by the great physicist Dr. Norbert, who recently died without indicating precisely what the thing is...but did have time to instruct that Batman and Superman be given custody of the device as its mighty power must not be misused.
Naturally, our heroes can barely wait to turn on the device to see what it does, just moving it to a deserted area near Gotham City called Midvale Crossing. The globe projects a "terrific force", making their surroundings blur and twist. Then everything turns back to normal. Yes, perfectly normal, exactly as it was before. Okay, except for that small plane overhead that's calling the police to notify them of Superman and Batman's whereabouts.
The police show up a few minutes later, as Superman and Batman haven't bothered moving from the area. Perhaps they were curious why so many cop cars were converging on their location. A police captain indicates that Luthor and Clayface will be along shortly to help capture the World's Finest. Superman thinks that this is perhaps some kind of joke, but no, the police are seriously trying to shoot him, even though they've already heard about the whole bulletproof thing.
Shortly, the police captain greets the greatest lawmen of all...Luthor and Clayface! Lex (wearing his prison greys, which were his "costume" in this time period) whips out the Kryptonite manacles, while Clayface turns into a cheetah. Once Superman feels the fringe effects of the Kryptonite, he and Batman are out of there at Super-Speed.
Many miles away, Superman speculates that the "police" were actually crooks in disguise, but Batman asks Kal-El to telescopically scan Gotham City and Metropolis. There are billboards advertising a million dollar reward for capturing the "criminals" Superman and Batman, and statues honoring the great champions of the law, Luthor and Clayface. Batman postulates that they are now on a Parallel Earth where history took a different turn. (He's been on one before, back in WF #136, "The Batman Nobody Remembered!" - Note from Ed.) Superman is at a loss to imagine how their doubles turned out evil.
Flashback time! When young Kal-El's rocket landed on Earth, he was found by Jonathan and Martha Kent, notorious swindlers who disguised themselves as hicks to con people. Jonathan was all for letting the kid die of exposure, but Martha figured that whoever owned the rocket might pay a ransom for the toddler. No such luck there, but the Kents discovered the child's superpowers, and raised him in secret to be the world's first super-robber!
Meanwhile, cat burglar Thomas Wayne takes a bullet to the leg, crippling him. His wife apparently dies while he's in prison for a short term. Once out, the embittered man moves his son Bruce to a house with a hidden cave under it, and trains the boy to become the world's greatest burglar, the Batman! Years later, the Kents gloat over a newspaper depicting their adopted son stealing an entire ocean liner (and the gold shipment on it), the article written by Clark Kent! Meanwhile, Thomas Wayne also gloats as a TV camera catches Batman easily escaping the police.
In the Batcave, Evil!Batman considers his pile of treasure. It grows ever larger, but is never enough to—Evil!Superman flies in to notify his partner of the appearance of impostors.
Our Batman and Superman decide now would be a good time to head back to their own, sane, world. Better go back to the device that sent them here. Naturally, the machine is gone, taken to the city by Luthor and Clayface. The local versions of the World's Finest show up. Batman notes that if the good guys turn in their evil counterparts, they'll be able to establish their bona fides. Evil!Batman realizes that if they can get the machine and use it first, the evil duo could pose as their goody-goody counterparts and rob the planet blind.
Combat ensues, but the teams are too evenly matched. Finally, Evil!Superman hurls a boulder several miles towards innocent civilians. Superman deals with this, but while he's gone, the evil duo easily overcome Batman and depart. Superman decides they'll tunnel their way towards Gotham City to avoid detection. But this turns out to be exactly what Evil!Superman expected. If he and Evil!Batman can trick Luthor and Clayface into arresting the do-gooders, the guard will be down for the real criminals.
Evil!Batman contacts Evil!Robin, his youthful accomplice, and tells him to get a message to the heroes, but carefully so they don't suspect what's going on. Evil!Robin dons his Dick Grayson garb and heads towards a meeting of the Jimmy Olsen Fan Club. On this world, Jimmy is Lex Luthor's pal. Thus, he's receptive to news of a mysterious vibration heading towards Luthor's Lawbase. He relays the news to Luthor, who checks his seismograph and sees it's true.
Superman checks Luthor's base...no sign of the machine, but there is a lead-lined room. Naturally, when our heroes enter, it's also lined with Kryptonite! Weakened, and weighing down Batman, Superman is an easy victim for Luthor's Green K manacles. Batman tries to explain the truth, but is laughed at for the feeble "lie". The captives will be given a swift but fair trial, with a legal conviction.
The manacles Superman's now wearing turn out to be scientifically designed to just be enough Kryptonite to cripple him without causing permanent organ damage. The heroes are visited in prison by mild-mannered reporter Clark Kent, aka Evil!Superman. He gloatingly outlines his plans, knowing that no one will believe the do-gooders if they talk. Later, both he and Bruce Wayne bask in the praise of their criminal parents.
The next day, the trial of Batman and Superman begins. While everyone's attention is on that, Evil!Superman and Evil!Batman sneak into Luthor's Lawbase and steal the dimension-traveling device. They're Genre Savvy enough not to turn it on until they've figured out how it works.
Back at the trial, the prosecutor turns out to be Perry White, and by Contrived Coincidence Lois Lane just happens to be on the jury, glaring at Superman with revulsion. Perry shows footage of Evil!Superman destroying weather satellites after the government refused to pay extortion money. Then there's Evil!Batman stealing experimental remote-controlled construction machines to loot an entire town. Hours more of this, with Perry emphasizing that the defendants only "defense" is "We're not the guys who did that."
During the lunch break, Luthor and Clayface head back to the Lawbase to relax before their testimony. Luthor realizes that he should really give the captured machine a quick once-over just to nail the coffin shut. But that machine is gone! Good thing the "binoculars" Luthor "left lying around" are hidden miniature movie cameras just in case anyone ever managed to get inside while Luthor was away. Sure enough, they show Evil!Batman hauling away the device in question.
In the courtroom, Luthor reveals the startling truth. Since the greatest of all lawmen, Lex Luthor, never lies, the judge is forced to dismiss the case. Huzzah! Now working together, Batman, Superman, Luthor and Clayface head to the Evil!Batcave, only to find it deserted. Superman realizes that his counterpart must have a Fortress of Evil!Solitude, so that's the next stop. They arrive just as the evil duo is about to activate the dimension travel device. Clayface turns himself into a missile and breaks down the door. (First actual useful thing he's done in this story.)
Superman and Batman switch opponents, Batman getting the Green K shackles on Evil!Superman while Superman restrains Evil!Batman. Luthor mentions bringing the evil duo back for trial, but Superman has an idea. As long as they're restrained, why doesn't Luthor use his superscience to brainwash Evil!Superman and Evil!Batman into becoming good guys? Luthor never thought of that before, but it's worth a try. While waiting for Luthor to assemble his equipment, Superman and Batman note that on this Earth, Kandor, instead of being inside a bottle, is on the surface of a miniature recreation of Krypton held in place with anti-gravity beams.
Luthor starts the brainwashing process, but notes that it will take some time, and if it works, they'll need to track down Evil!Robin and brainwash him too. The visiting heroes can return home with a special viewer that will allow them to monitor broadcasts from this world.
Sure enough, some time later, Supes and Bats watch a broadcast that shows the formerly evil trio now working side by side with their former enemies. (Though their backs are to the camera, no doubt to spare us the sight of the lobotomy scars, glassy stares and chin drool of the Brainwashed baddies. Our heroes look forward to the day they can do the same to their versions of Luthor and Clayface, though they may even then never allow them friendship.
Two things: first, I really think they missed an opportunity to explain why Lex Luthor is still wearing prison grays despite being a good guy in the alternate world. That was a Missed Moment of Awesome. Second, approving of brainwashing as a reform tool? For shame, Superman and Batman!
Let me know your thoughts and comments!
Feel free to jump in with comments at any time!
This installment dials back the crack level a bit.
World's Finest #149, May 1965, "The Game of Secret Identities!" Writer: Edmond Hamilton, Penciller: Curt Swan, Cover Inker: George Klein, Story Inker: Sheldon Moldoff.
On the cover, Batman is shooting a ray at Superman, who is wearing a helmet that obviously doesn't fit well, since he needs a hand to hold it steady. Above Superman's head is a thought balloon of Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson's faces, slowly fading away. Superman claims he can no longer remember Batman and Robin's secret identity. Batman explains that the Amnesia Machine made Superman forget, and he must now ferret out the Dynamic Duo's identity without using superpowers. Robin adds that then Superman will do the same to them. (This reverses the plot order of the story.)
The splash page has Robin and Batman using a Bat-Eye (flying camera) to spy on Superman and locate his Fortess of Solitude. Next problem, getting inside!
The story proper opens with Clark Kent getting ready to leave 344 Clinton for his job at the Daily Planet. Someone has shoved a note under his door, with the words "You are Superman!" When he picks up the note, worried about who might have discovered his Secret Identity, Clark is relieved to discover that it's actually an add for Smither's Tonic. The janitor explains that someone snuck into the building last night and handbilled all the apartments. Naturally, this makes more work for the maintenance guy. Amusing, but Superman realizes that detective methods are getting better all the time. He needs to be sure his Clark Kent disguise is "bulletproof."
Later, a blinking lamp alerts Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson to an intruder in the Batcave. It's Superman, who wants them to test the security of his Clark Kent identity. Problem: Batman and Robin already know who Superman is, giving them an unfair advantage. Solution: a Kandorian Selective Amnesia Inducer. It's used to remove painful memories without damaging important information. We get a flashback of a fellow forgetting the accidental death of his friend Khal-Kar. He's finally able to move past the terrible tragedy that has tormented him..."What tragedy? I can't recall." Not seen is his later attempt to get in touch with his best friend Khal-Kar, having forgotten the whole "Kahl is dead" thing.
The Dynamic Duo agree to use the device, and soon have forgotten their Superman lore. Superman confidently predicts they'll fail to guess his identity, but Batman and Robin are keen to use their detective skills.
The next day, Superman appears at a ceremony to link up a national power network by connecting two high-tension electric wires with his bare hands. The media is on hand, including several TV trucks. One such truck is lead-lined and contains Batman and Robin, tuning in an encephalogram. The idea is to record Superman's unique Kryptonian brainwave patterns, and when they find another person that matches...but the attempt falls flat when the Dynamic Duo realizes they're analyzing a Superman robot. Superman saw this try coming a mile away!
Plan B, then, B for Bat-Eye! This flying camera tails the Superman robot all the way back to the Fortress of Solitude. Now that they know where the Fortress is again, Batman and Robin head up there in the Batplane. With the help of super-strong cables, and a tree trunk, they're able to use the fortress key and gain access. But in the time it took them to get there, Superman has cleared the Fortress of all clues to his secret identity, such as the wax statue of Clark Kent that normally stands next to the one of Superman. (But the Bruce Wayne statue is still next to Batman's.) They pass by the Superman robots and wonder which one was the one they followed. Batman sends Robin back to the plane, as there's something he wants to try... In the plane home, Batman notes that Superman has another public appearance tomorrow, so they'll try the encephalogram again.
The next day, Superman lifts up a skyscraper by the corner so that the man the building is named after, Mr. Skeggs, can lay the cornerstone (Skeggs had been sick when that should have been done.) The Man of Tomorrow had planned to have one of his robots cover this event too, but the ones in the Fortress aren't responding (Batman sabotaged them) and the ones in his Clark Kent apartment are too easily traced. This time the Dynamic Duo are able to get Superman's brainwave pattern.
They trace Superman to Clark Kent's apartment building, but the Man of Steel spots the encephalograph and figures out what they're up to. After methodically eliminating every other suspect in the building (only four male tenants), Batman and Robin turn the encephalograph on Clark Kent, only to find...normal brain patterns! Batman realizes that Superman is on to them and is using his superpowers to tamper with his own brainwaves.
Batman has a plan, though. He gets the four suspects to watch footage of some of the World's Finest most thrilling cases, including their desperate struggle with the Composite Superman. By the time Batman is rescuing Superman from Kryptonite, Superman loses the struggle to keep his emotions and thus his brainwaves in check. Batman shows Clark Kent the proof that he is in fact Superman. Superman admits it and assumes his true form. He boasts, however, that he could turn the tables and discover Batman's secret identity, even without the use of his supersenses!
Batman's willing to take that bet.
In the Fortress of Solitude, Superman erases his knowledge of Batman and Robin's identities (presumably having removed the dead giveaway statues and such from his collection first.) He's bound and determined to show off his detective chops.
That night, Superman attempts to follow the Batplane home after the nightly patrol of Gotham City. He can't use his telescopic vision, but his normal vision is good enough to follow the shape against the sky. But the Bat-Radar picks up the tail, and Batman releases a signal flare that indicates "Beware Green Kryptonite Ahead", followed by a cloud of Green K particles. Superman backs off...for now.
Batman realizes that Superman's promise not to use his supersenses is open to Loophole Abuse and asks Robin to prepare the encephalograph device.
Soon, Superman flies a building over to Gotham City. It's a new Batman Museum! He knows that the Caped Crusader will be forced to attend the dedication ceremony. Like all buildings in Superman comics of the Silver Age, it's flat on the bottom and has no messy connections that would be broken by Superman uprooting it and flying around. Then he heads back to the Fortress of Solitude, shrinks himself, and goes to the bottle city of Kandor. He flashes back to a previous adventure when the World's Finest team visited Kandor to deal with a crisis in Batman's self-confidence.
Superman borrows a telepathic tracking hound and returns to Gotham City for the museum dedication. Batman and Robin anticipated something like that, so they got into the museum earlier and cut an exit into a disused Gotham-Metropolis subway tunnel. They run all the way to freaking Metropolis, and the basement of an apartment building. Superman follows the hound up to an apartment...only to recognize it as Clark Kent's. The Dynamic Duo set up the encephalograph to broadcast their thought patterns, thus baffling the telepathic hound.
Superman returns the hound to Kandor, then broods about his next step. Indeed, he's brooding so hard that he almost misses a call from NASA about a falling satellite. Robin's still crowing about the earlier trick, but Batman worries that Superman has become obsessed. Maybe it's time to call this contest off.
At the Bureau of Vital Statistics, Superman refuses to let Batman have the bragging rights, claiming he'll have the truth within twenty-four hours. He blows off some Latino visitors who have come begging for help against a killer whale invasion. Robin isn't worried about the Bureau, but Batman wants to know Superman's plan.
Turns out that Superman's built a domed building outside Metropolis. An alarm goes off when the Dynamic Duo approach. Turns out that it's set to go off when it sees the color combinations of their costumes, an idea Superman borrowed from Luthor. Oh, and Superman is carrying a radio so he doesn't have to use his superhearing to catch the alarm. Inside is a computer Superman designed for the Bureau of Vital Statistics, loaded with the 1960 census data. He's using it for the day, crosschecking the data against all known info on Batman and Robin. Even now, the printer is clicking. Superman flies off on a mission, but will have the results by morning.
That night, two figures approach the dome. They don't set off the alarm. But once inside, the lights flash on and Superman reveals that he doubled back and hid here all this time rather than go on missions. Since the Dynamic Duo showed up in their civilian identities to baffle the alarms, they're now exposed as Bruce Wayne and Dick Grayson. Now that he's proven himself Batman's equal at detection, Superman feels free to take care of that killer whale problem.
When Superman's safely out of earshot, Dick and Bruce explain that they blew their identities deliberately; Batman had analyzed the computer clicks and realized it was saying "problem insoluble." So rather than show up in two of the many non-standard uniforms they have in the Batcave, the Dynamic Duo forfeited rather than have Superman continue to obsess over the issue.
A solid entry. Next time, a higher crack quotient.
Your thoughts and comments?
Awesome
Huzzah! A reason to continue! (These suckers are time-consuming, you know.)
World's Finest #150, June 1965: "The Super-Gamble with Doom!". Writer: Edmond Hamilton, Penciller: Curt Swan, Cover Inker: George Klein, Story Inker: Sheldon Moldoff.
The cover shows Superman blindfolded and throwing darts. The wall and floor are already littered with darts that have missed their targets. The targets themselves are helium-filled balloons with the faces of various supporting cast members, plus Batman. Superman's dart is headed directly for the Batman balloon. A megaphone speaker on the wall announces that Superman must keep throwing darts until a balloon is burst, as the gamblers have made a bet as to which one it will be. A chained and gagged Batman is in the foreground; he knows that the balloon that is burst will kill the person pictured, which is him. (This scene is kind of in the story.)
The splash page is Superman spinning a giant roulette wheel, with Batman trapped inside a transparent sphere as the "ball." He notes that this gamble is not only for Batman's life, but for the fate of Earth itself. (This scene is not in the story.)
The story proper begins with wealthy playboy Bruce Wayne visiting his club (this was back in the days when wealthy gentlemen had "clubs" they could go to that excluded women and other...undesirable elements; while such places still exist today, "good guy" characters like Bruce would never be acknowledged to belong to one.) There he meets his friend Carson, who looks rather dejected. Seems that Carson had recently inherited a hundred thousand dollars, and intended to give it to "a fine charity" but foolishly visited Gambler's Isle and blew the entire wad. Gambling is legal on Gambler's Isle, of course, and the games seem honest, but Carson can't help feeling guilty about letting the charity down. Now, I might have said something like, "Carson, buddy, if you feel that badly about it, you're a wealthy playboy like me, you can replace the money from your own bank account. Or maybe you should sell all your worldly goods, distribute the proceeds to the poor, and become a relief worker like you clearly want to be." But Bruce just makes a cryptic comment about the charity somehow getting the money anyway, while thinking that Batman might be able to do something.
Superman gets a buzz on his Justice League communicator, which turns out to be from Batman and requesting a meetup in the Batcave. (Hey, at least they admitted the JLA exists.) He doesn't seem displeased to be called about what would seem a relatively minor problem, with Batman just asking for backup in case of trouble. But then again, Superman's heard rumors that Gambler's Isle is a little too "house always wins" and maybe there's something crooked going on there. As it happens, Superman's got a more immediate mission in space, but will check on Batman afterwards. Robin is a bit disappointed that he can't come, but Gambler's Isle bans minors.
Batman takes the Batplane to Gambler's Isle, a tiny island entirely owned by a mysterious gambling syndicate, and covered by a transparent dome. The only thing not covered by the dome is a landing strip, where he lands. The patrons are puzzled by his arrival. Gambling's legal here and the syndicate isn't breaking any laws...is it? (And I have to admit it's rather odd that Bats is going in costume, rather than as Bruce Wayne, who would blend in a lot better.) Inside one hall is a gigantic roulette wheel, but Batman's attention is caught by a man leaving the hall with a stricken expression and mumbling to himself.
Turns out that the man is about to swallow poison. Batman will have none of that, thank you. The man explains that he just blew three thousand dollars in "borrowed" money at the roulette wheel, money he can never repay. Batman asks the man to sit tight and not do anything desperate until he returns.
Inside, one of the croupiers, all of whom wear dark glasses, greets Batman flatteringly and offers to let him make a full inspection. Batman notes that the roulette "ball" is a transparent sphere and asks to ride inside it. That inspection shows nothing wrong with the ball. After observing play for half an hour, Batman is certain this game isn't fixed, so he makes a bet based on the law of averages and gets back the $3000. He hands it off to the distraught man and suggests that he avoid gambling from now on. The man agrees, but with what I know about gambling addiction, I wouldn't hold out too much hope.
Next, Batman checks out the blackjack tables. The face-up cards are projected on the wall for all to see, but not the hole card. Batman checks it out, it appears to be honest, so he places his bets using von Sedlitz's theory of games. (Not counting the cards though, that would be cheating.) He plays up to twenty thousand in winnings before his luck turns bad. Then Batman checks out the giant slot machines, which appear on the level, but too dependent on chance for his purposes.
Over the course of the night, most of the gamblers lose and leave, and eventually there are only four guests left. Batman, a maharaja type, a heavily bejeweled French woman and a Southern Gentleman. We may presume all but Batman fall into the category of Professional Gambler. The lucky four are invited to a private game of poker with one of the croupiers (who Batman notes are all very good gamblers with excellent poker faces), the dealing done by a machine. After some intense playing, there's a round where all the gamblers except one have insanely good hands, with the croupier scoring four aces. The southern fellow however, had a busted flush, and decides that the game is crooked.
The Southerner doesn't buy Batman's explanation that he inspected the dealer and it's clean, because the Southerner is too good a gambler to have been so soundly defeated. And he will have satisfaction, suh! He pulls a gun on the strangely calm croupier. Batman disarms the Southerner with a Batarang, to the gratitude of the croupier despite that worthy's claim he was in no danger. Batman is asked to stay after the others are escorted out. He's invited to one last game where giant dice are shot from a cannon. If Batman wins, he gets a cool million for charity. If he loses, he has to accompany the croupiers to a place of their choosing and stay until they release him.
Meanwhile, Superman has been busy in space, hurling a super-magnetic asteroid to an orbit just outside the solar system so it won't be a hazard to Earth's space probes. He returns to Earth and checks on Gambler's Isle just as Batman is about to shoot the dice.
Naturally, he must then warn Batman of the croupiers' true identities. They are Rokk and Sorban, from the gambling planet Ventura. Some time ago, they attempted to force Superman to murder an Earthling to settle one of their bets, only to be outsmarted by the Man of Tomorrow. (Which turned out to win the bet for Sorban.) They came to Earth and created Gambler's Isle to enjoy gaming against Earth's best gamblers, but Batman has proven the best opponent so far. And in this dice game, the odds favor the Caped Crusader's wager. Before Superman can get out a convincing warning, Batman shoots—Snake Eyes!
Batman admits he didn't take the dice size into account in his calculations, and submits to the terms of the wager. Which means Rokk and Sorban are taking him to Ventura, the gambling planet. Oh, by the way, Ventura's atmosphere is cumulatively toxic to Earthlings, and a few days there will kill Batman. Of course, Superman can always come to Ventura himself and engage in a gamble of doom himself to free his friend. Superman finally cottons on that this whole Gambler's Isle thing was one big Xanatos Gambit to get one of Superman's friends captured as bait. It could just as easily have been Lois Lane or Jimmy Olsen (but not Clark Kent, obviously.) The entire domed casino takes off, as it's actually a starship.
Mini-splash, with Rokk and Sorban betting on how many hairs are on Superman's head. 213,321 This scene does not take place in the story itself.
While the ship is in flight, Rokk warns Superman not to try anything funny, as he can focus his mental energy to destroy Batman as easily as he just did that tree over there.
And as they come in for a landing, it's explained that no one on Ventura actually has to work due to their robots and fusion power, so all the natives have to do is fulfill their racial love of gambling. Instead of a capitol building, the planet is run from a global casino, with Rokk and Sorban as co-rulers, since they're the last of the traditional ruling class. (Wild Mass Guessing - And there won't be any more after them because they aren't interested in reproduction.) The aliens show Superman the arena where the game will be played, but won't tell him what it is. But hey, they're going to give him a guide to explain the ropes here on Ventura. Oh, and they weren't bluffing about the toxic air, just in case you wondered.
By the way, without their dark glasses, Rokk and Sorban are bug-eyed and kind of ugly. But it turns out that Venturans are one of those species with strong dimorphism and their women are really hot. At least judging by Lura La, the guide. And it turns out that Lura La likes the Kryptonian men better than her own species too. Huzzah for the anthropic principle! She shows off a car that drives itself once the destination is punched in. That destination is the prison for bad losers. Yep, being a bad loser is a felony here on Ventura.
But at the prison, there's a surprise for the warden. Hargo of Vira, who'd lost a super-gamble previously and whined about it, has escaped. He's considered extremely dangerous. So Superman, ever the do-gooder helps look for him. Turns out Hargo has managed to reach the amazingly underguarded fusion power plant, and is threatening to overload it and destroy the planet "just as you destroyed my world!" Rokk could use force of mind to disintegrate Hargo, but it's not accurate enough at this range to avoid smashing the controls and overloading the station as well—which does not help. Unfortunately, the only way to turn off the outside controls safely is from inside the fusion sphere. Which no one can enter because of the fusion reaction inside.
Except Superman, of course. While the Venturans distract Hargo, Superman tunnels up inside the fusion chamber and finds the correct wire to disable the controls. When he emerges, Hargo has already been stunned and is being returned to prison. Lura La claims not to know what Hargo meant about his planet being destroyed—"He must have been out of his mind!" Next, she takes Superman to see a series of Venturan gambling games, all hopelessly complex and showing off the Venturan gambling skill. Superman becomes discouraged, knowing that they're far too good at this for him.
Lura La takes pity on the handsome stranger. She takes him to a Venturan school, where their children learn the basics of gambling. Math class is about probability theory. Anatomy is learning to read facial expressions. And in Psychology class (taught by a woman whose hairband and funky glasses make her look like a cleaned-up hippy) they learn how to psych out an opponent and make him believe he can't win. Superman now understands what is going on. As a reward for her treachery against her government, Superman kisses Lura La.
Unaware of what has transpired, Rokk and Sorban proceed to the next phase of their plan. A dream inducer that will put Superman into a lose-lose scenario with no way out. It's the one from the cover, with the darts and balloons. Sure enough, the dart is hurtling at Batman's balloon, and bursts it. The dream aliens gloat over Superman's defeat, but he picks up the balloon, and it doesn't have Batman's face on it, but Superman's! And they can't kill Superman, because Ventura is the one planet in the galaxy with no Kryptonite!
Superman then explains to Batman that when he picked up the balloon, he erased Batman's face, then faster than anyone could see, he used the chemicals in Batman's utility belt to put his own face there. Foiled by Superman's power of super-lucid dreaming, the real Venturans console themselves that the real gamble will not be so easily dealt with.
Back in the main arena, Superman discovers that a three-dimensional model of the Sol System has been set up in a large fluid tank. All of it replicating the movements of everything in the solar system in real time. The game is Solar System Roulette. Each player has a force rod which can be used to speed up or slow down the models. and thanks to Venturan super-science, whatever happens to the model will happen to the real celestial body. The first one to make a sufficiently large body fall into the sun wins. Rokk is betting he can make Earth fall first. And if Superman refuses to play, Rokk will blow up Earth anyway.
Superman has no choice. Rokk starts slowing Earth to make it head sunward, but instead of going for oh say Mercury, which is right next to the Sun, Superman chooses an asteroid at the far edge of the system. Rokk taunts Superman, but the Man of Steel holds steady. And sure enough, his asteroid suddenly veers straight for the Sun and wins the day. Turns out it was that super-magnetic one we saw earlier, and within a certain range it hyperaccellerated towards the metal vapors of Sol. And yes, I know it doesn't work that way.
Rokk may be many things, but a sore loser he's not. He puts Earth back in the proper orbit, and releases the people held in the Prison for Bad Losers back to wherever they came from. Oh, and releases Batman. Superman indicates he may be seeing Lura La again, but never again in connection with gambling.
And that's where it ends. Presumably Batman picks up the Batplane from the landing strip, and Carson has to make up the hundred thousand dollars from his own pockets.
Your thoughts and comments, potholes I should have included?
Also, I'm working on a project for my parents' 50th wedding anniversary—would you like to help? http://skjam.dreamwidth.org/14089.html?#cutid1
New highly wacky chapter on its way! Just to get a feel for my readership, do you prefer the stories where the main story is told "straight" and the crack is just inherent in the style of the times, or the ones where the writer clearly hit the bars in search of the wackiest premises he could manage and still stay inside the Comics Code?
And now some serious crack.
World's Finest #151 August 1965, "The Infinite Evolutions of Batman and Superman!" Still Edmond Hamilton on writing and Curt Swan on pencils.
The cover shows a train about to enter a tunnel. Much to the engineer's consternation, Superman, who has shaggy hair and a full beard, wielding a stone club, is blocking the way. He seems to think the train engine is an iron monster, and threatens to kill it. Riding on the side of the engine and clinging to the ladder rungs with his long, slender fingers is Batman, whose head has swollen enough that he's not bothering to wear his cowl any more. He promises to use his "future brain" to handle "primitive Superman."
The splash page is a split picture. On the left, Future!Batman is in a futuristic cityscape, thinking that he belongs here in 801965 AD, where all humans are big-brained like him, and that he's glad to be rid of Primitive!Superman. In the background, we see a big-brained couple, and learn that future men wear capes, while future women wear miniskirts. On the right, we have Primitive!Superman against a cave background, scratching his head and wondering why his friend Batman forced him to this primitive landscape. Bored cavepeople look on. This scene does not exactly appear in this story.
On to the story proper, with Superman zooming up from the Earth towards a mysterious space object, which causes him to die horribly with twisted limbs. Good thing that was only a robot. The real Superman is remote-viewing this from the safety of his Fortress of Solitude. Obviously, the Green Kryptonite radiation from this object makes it impossible for him to inspect it directly, but it could be an important artifact from Kal-El's homeworld. It'll reach Earth in a few days, and he needs time to prepare.
Thus Clark Kent asks for a few days off from work Editor Perry White is cool, as long as it's for a story. Lois Lane wonders if Superman's going to be gone for a few days too. Clark pooh-poohs this suspicion.
Shortly, in stately Wayne Manor, Dick Grayson and Bruce Wayne note a flickering lamp. Either Superman is in the Batcave, or they're in trouble. Darn, it's just Superman.
He explains the problem. Later, the World's Finest team is out in the wilderness. Superman has rigged up an enormous net to catch the space object. If it's Kryptonian, as he thinks, it won't burn up in the atmosphere. Sure enough, the plan works, and Batman is able to examine the object. He's unable to determine its function, but finds a lab report in Kryptonese.
Superman reads it via telescopic vision. It's an Evolution Accelerator, created by one Ral-Than. The report covers an experiment by Ral-Than on twin Ulthan, a deer-like mammal native to Krypton. One was evolved forward to become a bipedal, possibly sentient humanoid, while the other was "devolved" into a spiny, fanged critter with a rat-like tail. The report ends with a note that there's only enough of the rare fuel to do two more transformation experiments, preferably on men. But it turns out Krypton exploded before Ral-Than could do those experiments, and the fuel is still there and usable.
Batman grabs the Idiot Ball with both hands and decides to test the evolution ray on himself. It works, causing Batman to evolve 800,000 years in a moment. His gloves are stretchy enough to handle the long, slender fingers he has now, but he had to remove his cowl to accomodate his swollen braincase. Oh, and his facial features have shifted slightly, so that he doesn't quite look like Bruce Wayne. He then volunteers to share this wonderful experience with Superman, who should be affected similarly due to the ray being from Krypton. But Batman's emotions and perceptions have changed as well and decides that he doesn't want a rival supermind around. Instead, he hits Superman with the de-evolution ray, causing Superman to have poor grammar skills and get hairy.
Fortunately for Batman, the regression has included some Laser-Guided Amnesia, and Superman doesn't remember how he got all caveman. Batman tells him to go back to Metropolis and rest, and he'll get better. Superman buys it, and flies off. Batman chuckles at his former friend's stupidity, and heads to the Batcave.
Robin is shocked by his partner's new look, and Batman becomes verbally abusive of the boy. He keeps bragging about the whole eight hundred thousand years thing. He decided that as the smartest guy in the world, he should be in charge and starts building super-science weapons to enforce his will. Robin is displeased by his mentor's Face–Heel Turn. But he thinks he knows a way to get Batman back to his senses. A special bulletin saying that Superman is in trouble, and only Batman can save him! "Superman is your closest friend!" Batman realizes that Superman will continue to be a problem...until he's dealt with permanently.
We go back a bit to Superman's return to Metropolis. He decides he'll need a weapon, since his brain am not work now. He carves a club from a nearby tree. In the streets, he sees a metal monster eating people, and attacks. The bus driver and passengers only look mildly concerned; apparently Superman delaying your commute is a fairly regular occurence in Metropolis. He comes to the Daily Planet building, feeling that it's like home to him—but where's his cave? Having forgotten about the concept of doors, Superman simply bashes a hole in the wall.
When Lois, Jimmy and Perry show up, they're concerned by the fact that Superman doesn't seem to recognize them. But Superman finds himself strangely attracted to the woman, and grabs her by the hair to cook for him. She's not as pleased by this as you might think. Jimmy thinks this might be a Red Kryptonite effect, but the cop isn't concerned with the cause so much as the public nuisance and calls the riot squad.
Superman is annoyed by all this noise and flies off with Lois to a more remote cave. Or as she sees it, a railroad tunnel. Oh, and look, there's a train. Superman defends his new home against this giant monster. Good thing all the crew managed to jump off in time. Dang, considering the train was about forty feet away when they would have seen Supes coming, these railroad fellows must have Flash-level reflexes. Lois flees, intending to put out a special bulletin calling for Batman. End flashback.
There's another train approaching the tunnel—apparently Superman tolerated a crew coming and clearing the track of the last wreck. But this time Batman has hitched a ride, as on the cover. Superman greets Batman as a friend, but the Gotham Goliath explains that Superman no longer has friends. As a caveman, Superman belongs in the distant past, and Batman quickly explains how to burst the time barrier to get there. Superman leaves the world where everyone hates him now.
In the background, Robin fills Lois in on what he's gleaned of the plotline.
Some time later, Krypto returns from a romp in space. Lois and Jimmy explain to him what happened, though they're not sure how much Krypto will understand. Almost all of it, as it happens, and Krypto begins his search through time.
In the Pleistocene era, Superman punches out some of the local megafauna, but swiftly grows bored and lonely. He approaches a local human tribe, and manhandles one that attacks him. At the last moment, Superman remembers he doesn't kill people. Then he saves a Nubile Savage from a saber-toothed tiger. This wins him the appreciation of the tribe. Superman finds the local woman reminds him of Lois. He misses Lois and all his old friends. Hey, his memory is clearing up a bit!
He now remembers that it was Batman who changed him and pushed Superman into coming to this primitive era. Superman wants revenge now, so he hurtles back to 1965!
Back in the present, Robin asks Batman if he truly intends world domination. As it happens, no, Batman has realized that was a horrible idea. It would be like me ruling a world of developmentally disabled toddlers. Instead, he's building a time machine to go forward to when all humans have superbrains. Robin fails to dissuade Batman, having become like unto a buzzing fly on Batman's level of perception.
Minutes later, Superman shows up and Robin gives him the news. Supercaveman turns out to be a terrific tracker and follows Batman to the future.
Batman has settled in with some large-brained future people, "it's good to be among intelligent people like myself!" (I imagine the future folk sniggering behind his back, "he thinks he fits in here just because he has an average-sized head! But this doofus wears his underwear on the outside!") One of the future folks points out something in the sky. "It's a strange savage! No, it's Superman!"
Batman notices an illusion projector lying around the area—possibly it's a discarded toy except that it's artillery-sized. He creates blazing comets in the skies, and gloats when Superman flees from these scary images. Seems he forgot that while Superman's brain may be fuzzy, his super-hearing works just fine. Once informed the comets aren't real, Superman is easily able to overcome the illusions. The future people's ray guns are useless again Superman's invulnerability, and the Caveman of Steel is able to grab Batman.
Superman returns to the Pleistocene Era and dumps Batman in front of a stampeding herd of mastodons. Batman quickly uses a fire to ward them off. Another giant beast is warded off by a hastily assembled catapult, and this goes on for hours. Superman taunts Batman with the fact that he's getting a taste of his own medicine. Finally, Batman apologizes for devolving Superman, and asks for help building a new ray to fix the problem. Superman agrees, squeezing metal from rocks and searching out the rare power isotope.
Of course, Batman's actual plan is to further devolve Superman into a mindless ape, thus getting him all the way out of the way, and then build a time machine. But just at this moment, Krypto catches up with the pair and decides to block the ray. Krypto becomes a savage wolf-critter. Superman realizes what Batman was up to, and throws him in the de-evolution ray. There's just enough exposure to revert Batman to his normal 20th Century human self. He immediately regrets what he did while high on evolution. Batman apologizes again, and asks for another chance to cure Superman. Superman sets Krypto as guard in case Batman tries anything funny, but this is the good Batman, who restores Superman correctly.
After fixing Krypto too, they smash the evolution ray and return to the present to do the same to the machine that started this whole mess. They promise to leave evolution alone from now on.
Your thoughts and comments?
edited 8th Aug '10 6:16:39 AM by SKJAM
Ready?
World's Finest # 152, September 1965, "The Colossal Kids!", Writer: Edmond Hamilton, Pencils: Curt Swan, Inker: George Klein (both cover and interior this time.)
The cover shows a rooftop scene. One child in what looks like a kid's Superman outfit minus the "S" symbols and with a loop chain holding the cape on is swinging on a rope and tapping Superman on the chin with a finger. He has dark wavy hair. Superman looks stunned as he falls back. Another child in an identical outfit, but with lighter hair and glasses, casually tosses Batman towards the viewer. Both kids mock the heroes. Robin is off to one edge commenting on how powerful the children are.
The splash page has the two kids flying away as Superman and the Batplane chase them, boasting that their powers make catching them impossible.
As the story opens, Jimmy Olsen is in the Daily Planet offices when the children introduce themselves. The dark-haired one is Force Boy and the lighter-haired lad is Speed Kid. They want Jimmy to write about them, since he often covers Superman and Batman stories. Jimmy is highly amused and decides to take the boys to see Perry White. Lois Lane is in Perry's office as well, and thinks the children are cute. Perry, ever the skeptic, wonders if the boys would be able to demonstrate their superpowers?
Yes. Force Boy juggles Jimmy and Lois in their chairs while Speed Kid takes Perry out the window for a short flight. Speed Kid is much less gentle to passengers than Superman, and Perry begs to be taken back. The children depart, darkly hinting that the story about them had better be bigger than Superman or Batman stories.
When Clark Kent arrives, he's told the story and wonders where the children came from. He decides that he'll need backup on this one, but Supergirl is off in space, so he'll team up with Batman like every other issue. Superman flies to Gotham City to pick up Batman and Robin. On the way back, Robin hears a news bulletin that says the mysterious boys have been terrorizing Metropolis but haven't actually hurt anyone yet.
A quick flashback shows one such incident. Force Boy shatters a condemned skyscraper with a single blow, and Speed Kid catchs the stray fragments before they can hurt anyone. He assures the crowd they're perfectly safe.
By the time our heroes arrive, the boys are playing superspeed tag in the sky. Superman worries that they might accidentally create a whirlwind. He yells at the kids to come down, but they won't unless he says 'please.' Not used to such cheek from young whippersnappers, Superman reluctantly plays along. The brats claim that the older heroes fear competition, and Superman is about to lose his temper when Batman intercedes by asking the boys a bunch of personal questions. Rather than cling to the "Dude! Secret identity, okay?" defense, Force Boy points out that Batman's supposed to be a detective, and he should be able to figure out the answers himself. The boys start to leave, and the heroes attempt to grab them, resulting in the scene on the cover.
Batman hypothesizes that the boys are super-powerful androids, while Superman has another guess. They split up to check the possibilities, with Batman and Robin shadowing the mystery kids directly. The Dynamic Duo catch up with the kids, who are heading towards an abandoned warehouse. The kids smash right through the walls at walking speed, with Batman and Robin stealthily following. Inside is a tunnel under Metropolis, and the Dynamic Duo sneak down it. Of course, the children have super-hearing, and have known about their tail all along. They tunnel up into a building.
Once Batman and Robin catch up, they learn that the mysterious children have been...donating blood! So they're not invulnerable, and that sort of kills the "android" theory, since their blood is 100% human. The Dynamic Duo heads back to the Batcave to get evidence for another hypothesis, the children's laughter ringing in their ears.
Meanwhile, Superman flies to the Fortress of Solitude to check out his hunches. Nope, they aren't escapees from the Phantom Zone. So Superman shrinks himself to visit the bottle city of Kandor. As it happens, there are two missing boys, since yesterday. They vanished from vo-tech school. At the school, Superman learns the missing boys are scientific geniuses, who build devices even the teachers can't understand. But Superman has a bit more experience with alien technology, and realizes that one of the machines is an inter-dimensional transporter. Once turned on, it opens a portal to the next dimension over, where the Kandorian boys (one named Lar-Thal) have been playing hooky. They're upset they've been caught, but come peacefully. These boys aren't the Colossal Kids, however.
Back at the Batcave, Batman takes out samples of Kryptonite to test against the Colossal Kids. The kids themselves arrive shortly, claiming they found this place through telepathy, one of their many powers. Force Boy shows another nifty power, "selective magnetism," which allows him to only attract the narrow range of materials he desires, in this case Kryptonite. Superman arrives to report negative results, and Force Boy hurls Gold Kryptonite at him. Speed Kid saves Superman from losing his powers permanently. and scolds his buddy for being so reckless and endangering the "limited" hero. Force Boy uses the "just kidding" excuse, and the boys rush off, still challenging Batman to discover the truth about them.
A brief pause to let you at home play along. Have you figured out the startling secret of the Colossal Kids?
The very next page gives it away, with the chapter title being the real identies of Force Boy and Speed Kid, and their actual appearances being shown.
At their hideout, Force Boy thinks that'll he'll win their bet, and Speed Kid defends Batman's deductive skills. Tired of maintaining their illusionary appearances, the two return to ther real identities...Mr. Mxyzptlk and Bat-Mite! (A brief digression here—I mentioned before how DC's editorial offices were like fiefdoms. Despite being a Batman co-feature, "World's Finest" was part of the Superman editorial fiefdom. Thus you may have noticed that the stories tend to draw from Superman's mythology far more than Batman's. It also caused World's Finest to be a bit out of touch with what was going on in the Batman comics at the time. To be specific, Bat-Mite had been dumped from the Bat-family the previous year by editorial decree, as part of the "New Direction" making Batman comics somewhat less silly and cutting away some of the Fifties fantasy elements. His appearances in World's Finest in this and at least one more story are thus the last he would have for years.)
We learn that Mxy and Bat-Mite coincidentally arrived on Earth at the same time. Bat-Mite immediately went into his tiresome Batman Fanboy spiel, and Mxy decided to incorporate this into his latest attempt to create mischief for Superman. Thus he's tricked Bat-Mite into a bet that Batman can't figure out who the superbrats are, with the loser of the bet having to stay off Earth for a full hundred days.
Soon, the mischievous imps are back in "costume" and ready for their next gag. They appear above Metropolis and lure Superman and Batman into following them. Force Boy makes the Batplane's engine conk out so Robin is forced to land the plane while Superman carries Batman along. Then he mentions that he and Speed Kid must not lead the heroes to "the globe" and veers off in a different direction.
Naturally, Superman falls for this trick and he carries Batman to what appears to be a time-globe, similar to those used by the Legion Of Super Heroes. Perhaps the kids come from the distant future, when superpowers are commonplace? An attempt to fly the globe to a safe hiding place fails when it shatters from air friction, and Batman realizes it's probably a decoy.
The two rendezvous with Robin, who reveals that the Batplane's engine started working again once the Colossal Kids were out of sight. Hmm.
Force Boy creates a large spaceship of "alien" design, and he and Speed Kid enter it, fly around a little, then land in Metropolis. This attracts a crowd, including Jimmy and Lois. When the World's Finest team arrives, the boys claim that they're leaving "soon" and Superman assumes they're aliens. Then the brats summon forth a Humongous Mecha fighting machine for the heroes to fight. Batman instructs Robin not to join the battle, but "obey my orders".
Superman and Batman fight the mecha, barely winning. Then the Colossal Kids bring out an even tougher machine, rinse, wash, repeat thirty times! Our heroes are getting seriously winded when Robin and Jimmy come running up. They've been using transit-measurers to determine the size and volumes of the machines, and this latest one has tipped the scales—there's no way short of magic that the spaceship could hold all of these, even if it's entirely hollow inside. And if it's magic, Batman knows Bat-Mite and Mr. Mxyzptlk have to be responsible.
Exposed, the imps return to their usual appearances, and despite his poor reaction to losing, Mxy has to honor his bet and return to the fifth dimension. Before Bat-Mite leaves as well, he uses his magic to make the public forget any of this ever happened. Batman pleads futilely for Bat-Mite to get a new hobby.
One of the weaker stories in this volume, I fear.
Your thoughts and opinions? A good response will speed the next story, in which there is Robin-slapping.
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Man, you're a quiet audience. Please let me know someone's out there.
World's Finest #153, November 1985, "The Clash of Cape and Cowl!"; writer: Cary Bates and Edmond Hamilton, pencils: Curt Swan, story inks: Sheldon Moldoff.
The cover shows Batman balancing himself on the wing of the Batplane with a wire while tossing a Kryptonite Batarang and ranting about revenge. Superman is surprised to see his arch-foe Batman on the loose again.
The splash page shows Batman in the Batcave, slashing up a full-length portrait of Superman, the canvas showing previous poorly aimed attacks. Behind Batman is a shrine to his dead parents, judging by their old-fashioned clothing and young appearances, shortly after the wedding. Batman rants about avenging his father's murder, which only he is aware Superman is guilty of.
Oh, did I mention this was an Imaginary Story? 'Aren't they all?' As loose as the canon of Superman was in the Weisinger era, what with all the Reset Button and Recycled Plot and Status Quo Is God, there were stories that still couldn't be told. And whenever the writers came up with one of these, it became an "imaginary story." Unlike a straight-up "what if" story, however, these often don't focus on a single change and the consequences thereof, but throw in random elements to make the story work, or just because it sounded cool.
The story proper opens at stately Wayne Manor, where a teenaged Bruce Wayne looks in on his father, Dr. Thomas Wayne. Said fatheris working on a Kryptonite antidote to give to Superboy of Smallville, who he greatly admires. Young Bruce thinks this is a swell idea, not least because it would advance scientific discovery.
Somehow, the news gets out of Dr. Wayne's research, and Superboy himself drops in for a visit, thrilling young Bruce. Superboy fears that youthful criminal scientist Lex Luthor is going to use Kryptonite against him in some way. (This is an entirely justified suspicion.) He therefore asks for the antidote. Sadly, since the antidote is not yet properly tested, Dr. Wayne must refuse—he's not going to kill Superboy by accident, no way. Superboy seems somewhat upset by the refusal...almost angry.
Later that night, Bruce hears a crash in his father's laboratory. He rushes in just in time to see a red and blue blur flying out the window. The Kryptonite antidote is gone, and Thomas Wayne lies dead from a fractured skull. Bruce comes to the logical conclusion that Superboy came by to take the serum by stealth, was surprised by Dr. Wayne, and accidentally hit him too hard. But Bruce realizes that he has no tangible evidence, and Superboy's reputation is such that no one would believe his wild accusation. He'll just have to bring Superboy to justice himself.
The next day, Superboy is tailing Lex Luthor in a vain attempt to figure out where his archfoe has hidden the Kryptonite when he learns of Dr. Wayne's death. He flies over to Wayne Manor to offer his condolences, and his assistance in catching the killer. Bruce controls his expression, but inwardly sneers at Superboy's fake sympathy and attempt to cover up his crime. Naturally, he does not share his eyewitness information with Superboy. Since Bruce's mother died some years ago* and Alfred seems not to exist in this timeline, Bruce is shipped off to live with distant relatives. While wearing his Gotham High sweater, Bruce decides to become the world's greatest detective in order to track down the clues he'll need to prove Superboy's guilt.
(*This happened offstage in the Evil!Batman story I talked about earlier as well, as you'll recall. This was a thing for many years, whenever a Batman writer wanted to do a story about Bruce Wayne's parental influence, it was always his father's impact on his life that was brought up, with Martha Wayne just kind of being there. It took Andrew Vahcss (sp?) of all people to ask, "how did Batman's mother influence him?")
Years later, Bruce is a grown man living alone in Wayne Manor. He's ready to start his crimefighting career, but just so Superman won't see him coming, he adopts a new identity, Batman. He swears vengeance for his father's murder in front of a picture of his parents. There's a panel of him evading high-tension powerlines to catch some thieves. Then a panel of him taking circus orphan Dick Grayson under his wing to become Robin.
Cut to after the Dynamic Duo have become renowned partners. Batman mentions that they'll be going to Metropolis tomorrow, as he has...business with Superman. Robin, a huge Superman fanboy, goes to fetch a newspaper article about Superman's latest fight with Brainiac. When he returns, Robin finds Batman vowing to end Superman's career to the picture of his parents. "Oh, Robin, you're back. Superman totally killed my father back when he was Superboy, so we're going to take him down." Robin can't believe this is true; Superman has Code vs. Killing! Robin's naive faith in his idol is touching, but Batman is having none of it. He slaps Robin (you may have seen this panel repurposed various places around the Internet) and demands to know if Robin is with him or against him.
Robin is not down with this whole vengeance kick, and says so. Thus, Batman feels he has no choice but to dissolve the partnership. He uses a brainwashing device created by the Crime Doctor to give Dick Grayson amnesia and dumps him off at an orphanage.
Now alone, Batman returns to his dark mission of vengeance, taking all the scientific equipment he'll need to track Superman down with him to Metropolis. He reflects that the one certain piece of evidence that would prove Superman's guilt is the Kryptonite antidote he stole. Since there's no record of Superman having used the serum, the likelihood is that he's holding on to it for an extreme emergency. Presumably, he's keeping it in his secret Fortress of Solitude, therefore, Batman must find that location.
Bruce Wayne has purchased an abandoned building with a lead-sheathed rooftop water tank for Batman to use as his headquarters in Metropolis. He drills a few peepholes (thus kind of defeating the purpose of the lead shielding, but whatever.) Shortly, he spots Superman, who's out looking for the escaped Lex Luthor. Batman takes out his sniper rifle and puts Superman in the crosshairs. It's an air rifle that shoots a radioactive adhesive pellet. The pellet sticks to Superman's cape. He looks about for the source of the hissing noise he just heard, but is distracted by an urgent call for help.
A small town in the South American country of Gonzalia is being threatened by army ants. Superman builds a long bridge over the village, the ants cross that, problem solved without killing any ants.
We then cut to Batman plotting out the flight on a map, having used a super-radar to detect the radiation. Eventually, he'll be able to crosscheck and spot the location of the Fortress.
Following up on that strange hissing noise, finally, Superman returns to the neighborhood of Batman's hideout. By Contrived Coincidence, that's when a strange non-flammable gas comes out of all the natural gas ports (such as ovens and gaslights) and knocks the neighborhood out. The knockout gas was designed by Luthor and tapped into the mains as part of his latest scheme. Superman quickly inhales all the gas and flies to the stratosphere to release it, taking him off the scene.
Batman sees the gas spread and then disappear from his vantage point, though he doesn't know why. He does see several gas-masked individuals running out of the bank loaded with loot. Abandoning his blind, Batman swoops down and starts attacking the robbers. Only Luthor escapes—he had Kryptonite ready in case of Superman, but didn't prepare for the hero from Gotham City. Superman returns from the outer atmosphere and congratulates Batman on his catch. He asks if Batman is in Metropolis hunting a criminal.
"Yes...I'm out to bring a vicious killer to justice!" Superman utterly fails to hear the venom in Batman's voice, and decides that the Caped Crusader is his new best friend. He even gives Batman a flying belt from an alien world so that they can work together more easily. (From the absolute lack of other Kryptonians or superheroes in this story, we can guess that Superman's really, really lonely.)
Batman returns to the Batcave with the records of everywhere Superman's been the last few days. He eliminates the trips to fix a wrecked lighthouse and stop a volcanic eruption, which leaves three mystery flights out of Metropolis. The first is a Western US canyon, where Superman shored up a natural stone bridge that had cracked. The second is a South Pacific island where Superman built a breakwater to mitigate the effects of tidal waves. Note that at no time does Batman ever contrast Superman's compulsive good-deed doing to his supposed murder, or wonder why Lex Luthor hasn't had "an unfortunate accident" yet.
The final flight is to the Arctic, where Batman finds the Fortress, complete with oversized key. The keyhole is large enough that a normal-sized man could just crawl through it, but that seems too easy, so Batman whips out his Sub-Spectrum Ray Detector. Sure enough, there's super-electric eye beams protecting the entrance, no doubt with an alarm audible to Superman. Batman carefully chips two stone fragments from the top of the doorframe to make it look like erosion, then tosses one fragment into the alarm beams.
Superman quickly shows up to investigate and opens the Fortress door. Batman slips in behind him, ducks into a lead-lined chamber, and tosses the second fragment back at the beams. As planned, Superman blames the alarm on natural erosion, fixes up the doorway a bit, and goes back to Metropolis.
Now alone in the Fortress, Batman is free to search for his father's serum. He's surprised to find that Superman has a display dedicated to his secret identity of Clark Kent, but that's not relevant just now. Nor are the great scientific wonders and weapons of tremendous power, just distractions from the evidence Batman needs. And can't find. Obviously, Superman secretly used the formula at some point, and was unable to duplicate it. Yeah, that's the only possible explanation. Well, since Batman can't now bring Superman to justice legally, there's nothing for it but to dispense some personal justice.
Batman blasts his way out the back wall of the Fortress to avoid using the front door and alerting Superman. He'll need some help destroying the Man of Steel, and the arch-criminal Lex Luthor comes to mind.
Being the World's Greatest Detective, Batman looks for the one abandoned warehouse in Metropolis that's using an entire factory's worth of electrical power. Sure enough, it's Luthor's lair. He explains his need to destroy Superman, including revealing that he's Bruce Wayne, but doesn't mention what he believes Superboy's motive for killing Dr. Wayne was. Lex says that he remembers reading about the unsolved murder, and accepts that Batman is on the level about this. Batman knows that Luthor has accumulated a large store of Kryptonite, more than enough to kill Superman. But the Man of Steel is too wary of Luthor to fall into a completely lethal trap.
A few days later, Batman uses the Batplane to skywrite a call for help to Superman. When Superman flies in to assist Batman, the Caped Crusader tosses a Kryptonite Batarang at him. It's coated with a special super-adhesive which doesn't block the radiation so that Superman can't just pull it off. Batman has judged the trajectory exactly rignt so that the falling Superman lands in the warehouse Luthor is holed up in. The co-conspirators quickly stuff Superman into a transparent case half-full of Kryptonite dust, the better to watch his death agonies.
Batman pulls off his mask and reveals his Bruce Wayne identity, revealing that he wants to kill Superman because You Killed My Father. Superman's too weak to speak, but his facial expression is clearly WTH!? Luthor laughs and says, "He could sure use that anti-Kryptonite serum he stole now, eh, Batman?"
Batman swings around, puts back on his mask and asks, "How did ''you'' know about that anti-Kryptonite serum being stolen, Luthor?" Rather than being smart and pointing out that Thomas Wayne's work on such a serum was common knowledge and the only plausible motive for Superboy killing him, Luthor claims to have read it in the paper. Except, of course, that Bruce had specifically never told anyone that the serum was missing. Faced with Batman's wrath, Luthor turns yellow and tries to pass his murder off as an accident.
It seems that he was eavesdropping the day Dr. Wayne refused to give the untested serum to Superboy. He realized that an antidote for Kryptonite would remove his one real advantage over the Boy of Tomorrow. Fortunately, he had a "missile robot" in humanoid shape. A little paint job, and it looked enough like Superboy to pass at the high speeds anyone would see it at. The remote control for the robot was a little buggy, and Lex "accidentally" rammed Dr. Wayne in the process of stealing the serum.
Finally realizing his error, Batman smashes open the capsule and removes Superman from the Kryptonite. Sadly, this leaves Luthor free to grab a Z-ray gun and shoot him. Using Heroic Willpower, Batman stays on his feet and holds Luthor long enough for Superman to recover and put the criminal in a more permanent bind. Then he promises Batman to bring his father's killer to justice. Batman realizes that in another world, a better world, he and Superman could have made a great team.
Okay, that was a bit of a Downer Ending, but a pretty good story nonetheless.
The next issue is also an Imaginary Story (oh, bad form, DC) but of a distinctly more upbeat nature. If you'd like to see my liveblog continue, let me know. (Or you could talk about something in the story itself, that'd be better.)
edited 30th Aug '10 6:57:34 PM by SKJAM
Don't worry, I had the same problem with my own liveblog about "Cartoon Action Hour."
Logging off, Dr Thinker, a.k.a, Mad Writter
Okay, we'll give this another chapter or two.
World's Finest # 154, December 1965: "The Sons of Batman and Superman!" Writer: Edmond Hamilton, Pencils: Curt Swan, Inks: George Klein.
The cover shows Batman and Superman swooping in from the upper left, with Batman asking Superman to please tell his child not to pick on Bruce's kid. The child in a Superman outfit is holding one end of a teeter-totter down with one finger, while informing the child in a Batman outfit (cowl down) on the other end that he won't let him down unless "Brucie" admits Super-Son's father has caught more crooks than Brucie's father. The text box helpfully indicates that this is an Imaginary Story.
The splash panel shows both sons separately reading their fathers' case files and imagining the heroes' great deeds.
We open as Clark "Superman" Kent and Bruce "Batman" Wayne get married to Lois "Girl Reporter" Lane and Kathy "Batwoman" Kane respectively, in a small civil ceremony. The grooms are wearing nice suits, and the brides matching Sunday dresses and hats. Jimmy Olsen and Perry White can be seen among the witnesses. There is no explanation given of why these people would have a double wedding beyond their friendship in superhero guise. As the grooms kiss the brides, Lois and Kathy reflect that it was totally worth it to give up their careers in order to get married. Kathy for some reason blabs the secret identies of the husbands as the quartet leaves the courthouse, and is reminded that it must never be known that they married superheroes, or criminals might strike at them.
As a side note, Kathy Kane had already been dropped from the Bat-books by this time, and Bruce Wayne was between steady girlfriends (Poison Ivy was introduced as a Catwoman stand-in, but didn't stick.) Her appearances in World's Finest would be the last for years.
Kathy and Bruce are off on a whirlwind tour of the world by jet—Paris, Monte Carlo, Egypt...Clark and Lois are just going to Niagara Falls. After all, the Waynes are both wealthy, while Clark Kent is merely a newspaper reporter—obstensibly, so a super-honeymoon would be suspect.
At Niagra Falls, Lois points out that Superman could in fact become very wealthy through creating diamonds, or digging up buried treasure...if he wanted to. Clark responds that the world trusts him to only use his powers for the unselfish good of all; making a profit would run counter to that. At that point, an excursion boat loses control and is about to go over the falls. Clark uses his heat vision to turn the water spray in the air to steam so that he can change into Superman unseen. Lois is thrilled to finally be let in on the secret of how it's done. Superman saves the ship, and the crowd cheers. When Clark returns to Lois, he admits there are ways he could "super up" the honeymoon, but now she's just happy to be married to the greatest hero on Earth. She claims she'll never complain again about Clark's relatively small salary.
But after the honeymoon, when the Kents are invited to dine at stately Wayne Manor, Lois frets that her dress isn't fancy enough for the occasion. Clark thinks she looks terrific. At dinner, Kathy brags about the Riviera and Lois pretends not to be jealous. (And this volume finally passes The Bechdel Test!) Dick Grayson, looking no older than normal, interrupts dinner to let Bruce know that Batman and Robin are needed. Clark offers to come along and lend a hand.
As the women watch their husbands and Robin launch, Kathy admits that she worries about Batman since he forbade her from working as Batwoman, but Lois points out that Superman is along to protect him. Kathy is a bit unnerved by how dark and grim the Batcave is, but it holds so many precious memories, isn't it the same with Lois and the Fortress of Solitude. Lois lies that it is, but reflects sourly that Superman has never told her the location of the Fortress or taken her there since the wedding.
Superman, Batman and Robin easily capture the Balloon Bandits (who have helpfully put the skull and crossbones on their black balloons.) But Clark finds that soothing a jealous Lois is a trickier task. His Fortress is filled with world-shattering weapons and powers, and is therefore is much more in need of not having its location revealed than the Batcave, even to a spouse. He pulls the "if you knew, you'd be endangered" card again.
Years pass and the Superman and Batman families each have a son. Bruce Wayne, Jr. and Kal-El, Jr. Wait, what? I'm going to guess that raised a few eyebrows and some gossip among those that think Lois just "settled" for Clark rather than her obvious target Superman. Normally, if the kid is not in the direct line of descent, it would be Kal-El the Second.
The mothers discuss that their sons enjoy wearing duplicates of their fathers' costumes. Fortunately, so many kids have Superman and Batman playsuits these days that no one suspects a thing. (There are no other children in this story, so Take Our Word for It.) The boys are playing on the teeter-totter, and roughly the scene from the cover plays out. The fathers move swiftly and cooperate to end the hostage crisis, but Lois and Kathy begin quarreling, like the emotional women they are. Things get worse when young Kal pushes Brucie out of his way. He forgets his strength, and the other boy goes flying. Kathy calls Kal a bully, and refuses to let him come to the Wayne estate anymore. Lois, miffed, says that's just fine with her. Batman and Superman realize that this fight is stupid, but decide that it will do the boys good to have some separate time to learn valuable lessons about self-control and what their fathers do for a living.
Clark brings some of his old case files from the Fortress of Solitude for Kal to study. Junior learns from these that his father is always careful about using his powers, so as not to cause fatal errors. For one example, instead of hurling a monster into the sun as would have been his first impulse, Superman checked and discovered the "monster" was an infant of its species, and he was able to find the mother, who took charge of the creature. And he would often do good deeds anonymously, such as correcting the orbit of a satellite rather than have the normally fine scientist who made the error get fired.
Over in the Batcave, young Brucie is impressed by how long and hard his father and Robin had to train to use their skills. It may have looked easy for them to form a human chain to rescue a little girl from a fire, but it took hours of practice beforehand to get right. He also learns that his mother was Batwoman, and worked with Batman and Robin on some cases. For example, one where the crooks used a giant lightbulb to blind their victims. Too bad for the crooks that the Dynamic Duo and Batwoman had their bat-dark glasses handy.
And of course, Brucie reads about his father's teamups with Superman. like the time they captured Nappy Klains, The Napoleon of Crime. Nappy, as you might expect, is a little person, but full of evil ambition. Good thing he's safely behind bars!
Cut to a Midwestern prison, where other inmates are taunting Nappy as he lounges near a barred drainpipe, apparently lost in dreams of his lost Empire of Crime. In reality, he's been slowly weakening the bars with bottle caps over the last few weeks. When no one's looking, he moves the bars and crawls into the pipe. Since he's such a small fellow, he's able to use this method where normal-sized men would get fatally stuck. For some reason, the outlet, about a mile from the prison walls, is not barred. As Nappy straightens his clothing, he wonders what his role model, Napoleon, would do in this situation. Obviously, the answer is to strike at Superman and Batman through their friends...he'll start by investigating Clark Kent, the mild-mannered reporter.
Some time later, young Kal heads over to Wayne Manor (flew, I guess) but Kathy blocks him at the door and refuses to accept his apology or let him talk to Brucie. "And if your mother or father don't like it, they can lump it!" She's really counting on Superman's Thou Shalt Not Kill code.
Brucie realizes that this is an untenable situation and slips out a side door to meet up with Kal before the other youth can leave. He explains that he has a plan. The first step is to pretend to run away from home. Kal agrees. But the boys are unaware that they're being observed by hostile eyes. It's Nappy Klaines, who apparently found nothing while watching the Kent residence, so has been observing the Waynes (known friends of the Batman) instead.
As the boys proceed into the forest, they discuss the plan. They hide out for a while until the parents get frantic and have to team up to find them, and then will be so relieved that the boys are safe that the kids won't get into any real trouble. Problem! Superman and Batman are so awesome that they might be able to find the boys right away before the families have time to properly panic.
Nappy is Just Passing By at that moment, and claims to be Dr. Blaine, a scientist with a nearby lead-lined lab. He invites the boys to see it. The boys are suspicious of Dr. Blaine, but for all the wrong reasons. They think he's planning to learn their names, and then rat them out to their parents. But that lead-lined lab sounds promising, if they can keep from spilling the beans.
Shortly, they're at the "lab", actually Nappy's most secret criminal hideout, so hidden that Superman and Batman never located it. Brucie is beginning to think that "Dr. Blaine" looks familiar, but doesn't know from where. Inside, Nappy directs the boys' attention to his reaction-testing devices. (He used them to test his crime lieutenants, "just as Napoleon tested his marshals!" The first test is a sword hanging from the ceiling in a Damoclean fashion, that abruptly drops at Kal. He manages to spot that the blade is tinfoil just in time to "flub" his leap away. Nappy mentions that the hilt is made of lead.
Next, Brucie is pursued by a clanking "steel" ball that changes direction to follow him. He notes that it bounced slightly at that turn, which means it actually a balloon, with the sound effects provided by a recording. It bursts when he deliberately lets it hit him. Having had some fun, Nappy suggests that the boys enjoy some nap time.
This is, of course, a trick. Once the lads are fast asleep, Nappy uses his Sleep-Prober to repeatedly ask questions until the sleepers answer. Except that he hits paydirt with the very first question, "Do you know who Superman and Batman really are?" "They...are...our fathers!" Nappy fails to ask any follow-up questions, and proceeds to the next stage of his master plan.
When Brucie awakes, both Kal and "Dr. Blaine" are missing. He wanders around trying to find them, and stumbles upon a room filled with Napoleon Bonaparte memoribilia, and finally makes the connection. Sure enough, in the main chamber, Nappy has imprisoned Kal in a spider-web with Kryptonite-infused ropes. It's a lot easier to use Kryptonite on a victim while they're asleep. He then orders Brucie to switch outfits with him, since they're about the same size. Ah, that explains why we have an evil little person as the villain. Nappy's got a gun, and Brucie hasn't been trained like Damien from the current comics, so he must comply.
Once the outfits are switched, Brucie is shackled to the same wall as Kal with a single steel band around his waist (that wasn't there before, so Nappy must have installed it while Brucie waited.) Nappy leaves to prepare his trap for the famous fathers, and the boys wonder how they're going to get out of this fix.
Meanwhile, Kathy has finally figured out her son is missing, and Lois confirmed that Kal was AWOL too, so Kathy gets in touch with her husband and Robin. "And I'm going with you on this search!" And she suits up as Batwoman, apparently having secretly altered her costume to her post-childbirth dimensions, just in case.
Over at the Kent home, Superman isn't going to take Lois with him on the search, so she instead calls up Jimmy Olsen and use her press contacts to get a wide-scale search underway.
Superman searches by lifting random condemned buildings into the air to check their lead-painted cellars. Meanwhile, the Bat-family stumbled across some silk thieves and quickly corral them so that the search can continue. Lois Lane has commandeered the Flying Newsroom helicopter, with Jimmy Olsen piloting, and thinks she sees one of the boys in a wooded area...
And then, Flash Back to an hour earlier. Kal is getting dizzy from Kryptonite poisoning, but Brucie is fully alert, and notices that Kal is right under the tinfoil sword we saw earlier. He remembers what control panel switch makes it drop, too. He kicks one of Nappy's shoes at the panel, and scores a bullseye.
The sword drops, and the lead hilt catches on the rope covering Kal's face and pulls it down, while blocking some of the other Kryptonite rays. This makes Kal just a little healthier, and hs's able to use heat vision to soften the lock on the staple holding Brucie. This allows Brucie to pull free, and he's able to remove the ropes as he's not affected by Kryptonite.
While Kal takes a ten-count, Brucie sneaks around to see what Nappy is up to. He finds a dressing room where Nappy is making up his face to resemble Brucie's. The criminal then radios his lieutenants on the "secret wave" to have them rendevous here, as he's going to finish off Superman and Batman soon, and wants everyone to witness. Nappy then leaves his hideout without checking on the boys.
Brucie remembers a similar plan in his father's files and decides to do as his father did, disguising himself as Nappy. Good thing he's watched his father apply makeup many times.
Back in the present, Nappy leads Lois in the helicopter on a merry chase towards his hideout, knowing that she'll call in the superheroes. But when he arrives back there, Nappy finds that "he" has gathered his criminal minions and is siccing them on "Brucie." This distraction has given enough time for Kal to finally shake off the Kryptonite poisoning, and he helps collar the remainder of the gang. By the time the older heroes show up, all that's left is the exposition.
We learn that Nappy was going to use the Kryptonite web-spinner on Superman and an oversized Bear Trap on Batman. Brucie explains why he ran away, and the mothers agree they've been foolish. The families have been reconciled!
There's a sequel in a few issues, which may come soon if I see some enthusiastic/interesting comments!
But next time, it's the coming of Nightman!
Hi, folks!
I thought I'd try something a little different, hearkening back to the Silver Age of DC Comics. World's Finest started as a typical Anthology Comic, but in the mid-Fifties became the home of the Superman-Batman team. Astonishingly, it had taken the folks at DC that long to exploit the idea of teaming up their two top sellers. Of course, once the team was established, the writers had the headache of coming up with stories with challenges for both Superman (Flying Brick) and Batman (Badass Normal). Kryptonite became a constant story element.
By 1964, when this volume opens, the formula was pretty well set. One more thing I should mention. At this point, DC was divided into editorial fiefdoms who jealously guarded their own characters. To save the trouble of asking if they could use, say, the Justice League Of America when it would be appropriate for Superman to ask for their help, the World's Finest writers usually pretended other superheroes didn't exist.
The cover depicts Batman, Superman and Robin beating up Bruce Wayne, Clark Kent and Dick Grayson. This will be kind of explained by a later story.
On to the first story!
World's Finest #146, December 1964: : "Batman, Son of Krypton!" Writer: Edmond Hamilton Penciller: Curt Swan Inker: George Klein
The cover shows Batman and Superman watching a slideshow in the Batcave. The slides show "Bruce-El" flying and breaking a metal bat while clad in a Kryptonian kid's outfit. Batman claims that this proves he too is a Kryptonian and once had super powers. Superman is convinced by Bruce's cute outfit, but wonders how Batman lost his powers. Naturally, not all is as it appears.
The splash page recaps by having the two heroes hold the actual photos. Superman has a thought balloon of the Kents finding him, while Batman has a flipped version with the people fining him in shadow. The header advertises "your two favorite heroes" even though Batman's logo mentions Robin as well.
The story proper opens in the Fortress of Solitude (Kandor visible in the background) as our heroes work on a scientific experiment. Specifically, a device for making 3-D replicas of a person instead of flat photographs. It seems to be working pretty well, as the replica of test subject Robin includes the side the camera can't see. Batman plans to use this device for crime fighting. Superman has to interrupt the experiment for something more important, however.
What could be more important than fighting crime? Five minutes of silence for the anniversary of the destruction of Krypton.
Out in space, Supergirl faces toward
Meccathe previous location of Krypton, and the Kandorians are solemn as well. Back in the Fortress, Batman and Robin watch quietly as Superman projects slides of the glory of Krypton that was. Superman still has memories of the place from infancy, before he was rocketed to Earth.As the silence ends, Superman explains that the current slide shows a statue of Zinn-Zal, a great Kryptonian hero. (Looks kind of like Columbus.) On the hidden side of the statue is an inscription in Kryptonese—and Batman recites it flawlessly!
Superman is baffled by Batman's outburst, since he knows he's never told this to Batman before, and there's no way any Earthling could have given him the information. Batman's at a loss to explain it himself, he just remembers it.
Back in the Batcave, Batman admits to Robin that further memories of Krypton have emerged. The Red Tower, equivalent to America's White House, the triple Fire-Geysers, fragments of the epic poem the Kryptoniad and even pity Kryptonian proverbs! Weirdest of all, Batman now remembers flying as a small child, somewhere on Earth!
Robin posits that Batman is a Kryptonian, except that this makes no sense—Batman has no Kryptonian powers, and supposedly is the natural son of Thomas and Martha Wayne.
Batman doffs his uniform to become wealthy playboy Bruce Wayne. Obviously, he can't ask his parents because his parents are [[Memetic Mutation DEEEAAAD]], but there's a scientist who knew him in infancy, one Thomas Ellison. He might know something. Dick Grayson has a bad feeling about this entire affair.
Dr. Ellison is startled but pleased to see Bruce, since it's been decades since he babysat for the Waynes. When asked about Krypton, Dr. Ellison starts with "How could you have found out—No one ever heard of Krypton in those days!" It wasn't until after the place exploded and Superman revealed he was from there that any Earthling knew of the place, and it was too far away to be seen by telescope. Why does Bruce ask?
The living room stirs Bruce's memories of flying, and Dr. Ellison offers to let Bruce stay the night, but he has work to do. Later, Bruce sneaks downstairs to discover Dr. Ellison sitting before a globe of Krypton and recording a message to be played after his death...revealing that he, Dr. Ellison, was the man who destroyedd Krypton!
That's a bit of a shocker, since Krypton's explosion was supposedly the result of natural processes. After Dr. Ellison goes to bed, Bruce searches and finds the photos from the cover...except that the one with Bruce-El flying has Dr. Ellison watching from ground level. And here's the explanation of why Batman doesn't have any powers—Dr. Ellison has a sample of Gold Kryptonite in a lead box! One exposure removes a Kryptonian's powers forever! Bruce takes photos of the evidence.
Meanwhile, Superman, in his guise as Clark Kent, mild-mannered reporter, puzzles over Batman's hidden memories. He's pretty sure there's a sinister cause. (Behind him, we see the back of Lois Lane's head. That's the extent of her involvement in the story.)
Superman checks with the Kandorians and the Phantom Zone prisoners, but no one from either group mentioned that inscription to Batman. Time to go to the Batcave and see if Batman has any more answers!
Robin is dubious about the evidence, but Batman is lost in daydreams about using Kryptonian powers to fight crime more effectively. You might have noticed that Bats is a little obsessive about fighting crime. Robin warns Batman that they mustn't tell Superman about an Earthman destroying Krypton. Batman agrees that Superman's wrath would be terrible indeed and that they need to keep it quiet until they have absolute proof.
But of course, Superman has reached the Batcave just in time to hear the last couple of sentences and his face twists in anger. If this is true, his parents, his people, his entire murdered world, cries out for vengeance!
Superman bursts into the Batcave demanding to know the name of the killer. Batman refuses, as Superman is obviously distraught and might do something foolish before proof is obtained. Superman is dismayed that his loyal friend, who now shares a doomed homeworld, will protect their planet's murderer. He flies off to brood.
Superman remembers the Jewel Mountains, the noble cities of Krypton, his parents, Jor-el and Lara..and vows vengeance for them all.
Realizing that Superman will simply trail Batman to Dr. Ellison if the Dark Knight goes there, Robin disguises himself as his mentor and flies off in the Batplane to distract the Man of Steel. This freeees Batman to take the Batmobile and solve the mystery.
Batman confronts Dr. Ellison, who realizes that Bruce Wayne must have told the hero about his childhood memories. (Batman plays along with this explanation.) Turns out that decades ago, the scientist had developed a new type of telescope that allowed him to observe what was going on lightyears away in real time. He discovered Krypton and started learning all about it. (One might ask, why didn't he publish his findings? My guess is that he didn't want the military-industrial complex taking over his work...especially with what happened later.)
The one person Dr. Ellison did tell about Krypton was young Bruce Wayne, who he was babysitting. He even made a Kryptonian play outfit for the toddler, and used props to make photos of the boy flying and using super-strength. I have to admit, he was a pretty cool babysitter.
But all good things come to an end. Dr. Ellison learned that Krypton's core was going critical, and was about to explode. Having come to love the alien world, Ellison invented a neutralizer ray that would stabilize the reaction. Using the same principle which allowed his telescope to ignore the speed of light, he projected the ray at Krypton. But when he turned to his telescope to see the results, Krypton had exploded. Clearly, his ray had actually accelerated the destruction of the planet. Dr. Ellison has lived with the guilt ever since.
But not for much longer, as the enraged Superman comes in, having heard the entire thing. He wasn't fooled at all by the Batplane, and sent one of his Superman robots after it. Ellison is ready to take his punishment. Batman begs for Ellison's life, and Superman admits that he's not going to kill the doctor...yet. First, he's going to make him watch the destruction of Krypton on a space-time viewer so that Dr. Ellison can see the individual faces of those he killed.
Surprise! Tuning in on Jor-El and Lara, we see that they're aware of the neutralizer ray...which has no effect, because the reaction in Krypton's core is too powerful. But they're grateful for the attempt. They return to launching Kal-El in the experimental rocket.
Superman and Dr. Ellison reconcile, the latter finally free of his burden of baseless guilt. Batman is kind of relieved not to be from Krypton, but now he shares true memories of the place with his friend.
This story is most memorable for a rare glimpse of a Superman who maybe, just this once, would be willing to kill.