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Mr. Garrison: Uh-oh, retard alert! Retard alert, class!


  • "Volcano": Randy Marsh discovers that Mt. Evanston is about to erupt and warns the mayor that South Park is in jeopardy. To make matters worse, Jimbo, Ned and the boys are stranded in the woods near the mountain.
    You'd Expect: The mayor to evacuate the town at once and call the rescue squad to search the woods.
    Instead: She calls some tabloids to cover the story and has the townspeople themselves search for Jimbo, Ned and the boys.
  • "Pinkeye":
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    • There's a Zombie Apocalypse in South Park and Chef rushes to the medical clinic to warn the doctor. However, the doctor is not convinced, misdiagnosing all the zombies as having pinkeye. A group of zombies breaks into the clinic and Chef escapes by jumping out a window.
      You'd Expect: The doctor to trust Chef's instincts and follow him out of there.
      Instead: He stays put, believing the zombies also have pinkeye, and gets attacked.
    • Wendy makes Stan dress up like Raggedy Andy because she wants the pair to be Raggedy Ann and Andy, but then she changes her mind and now she wants to be Chewbacca.
      You'd Expect: Wendy to tell Stan in advance that she changed her mind and allow him to be any Halloween disguise of his choice.
      Instead: She just assumes that Stan would have figured it out already and doesn't tell him so until they meet in class on Halloween morning. Stan is forced to be Raggedy Andy, and Wendy apologizing to him results in Stan remaining angry at her and declaring that he wants her dead.
  • Some of Kenny's deaths qualify:
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    • In "Summer Sucks", the town circumvents a firework ban by using a giant black snake for the Fourth of July celebration. The snake goes out of control due to its massive size and heads straight for the third graders playing a concert on bleachers.
      You'd Expect: Kenny to follow the class off the bleachers and run with them to safety.
      Instead: He stays on top of the bleachers being curious to see what's happening while the rest of the class jumps off. He nearly avoids getting hit by the snake and ends up under the bleachers.
    • In "Merry Christmas Charlie Manson!", Manson is on the run and hides from the police in Cartman's grandmother's house. He volunteers to give himself up by having Kenny march out of the house with a white flag.
      You'd Expect: The police to be able to correctly recognize the obvious signal and accept the surrender.
      Instead: They react to the waving of the flag as if Kenny is wielding a deadly weapon that he is about to use against them and open fire on Kenny, killing him.
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    • In "Quintuplets 2000", the U. S. Army has come to take Kenny back from Romania, on Stuart's request. One soldier finds him hiding in a closet, being held up by his mother.
      You'd expect: The man to notice that the kid they're looking for is right in front of him, and take him back.
      Instead: He yells to surrender or he'll shoot, but then immediately opens fire before they can possibly react, riddling Kenny full of holes (but somehow leaving his mother unharmed).
  • In "Ike's Wee Wee" Mr. Mackey gives his famous "Drugs Are Bad" speech, which ends with him ordering the kids to pass around a small sample of marijuana to show them what it smells like so they can presumably avoid it or tell on someone who's using it.
    You'd expect: Mackey to pass the marijuana around himself in order to decrease the chances of a curious young mind doing something with it.
    Instead: He gives the marijuana to the children to pass around and it ends up disappearing. Turns out Garrison took it instead of one of the kids.
    As a result: The kids are all strip-searched and Principal Victoria fires Mackey for bringing an illegal substance to school without permission. And Mackey is deservedly mocked by the other adults for his lapse in judgement.
  • In "Are You There God, It's Me Jesus", Stan is being mocked for not hitting puberty so soon already, as he is tricked by his friends into thinking all children should have periods as Kenny and Cartman had "theirs" from a stomach infection.
    You'd Expect: For Stan to either ask his parents or medical advice about periods.
    Instead: He just takes a bunch of growth hormones from Dr. Mephisto and by taking them he grows boy boobs.
    You'd then Expect: For Stan to get embarrassed or put on a bigger shirt cause now everyone is treating him like a girl.
    Instead: He just keeps assuming it's natural puberty. And the episode ends with Stan keeping boobs on his chest.
  • "Scott Tenorman Must Die":
    • Scott finds out about Cartman's supposed plan to have the rancher's pony bite his penis off. Scott then lies to his parents that the rancher is abusing his pony and that it's starving to death.
      You'd Expect: Scott's parents would try to get in touch with the rancher and find out what's going on. Or they could just call someone involved with animal welfare and ask them to investigate.
      Instead: They decide to sneak onto the rancher's property in the dead of night and try to steal the pony. The rancher, who's been tipped off by Cartman, immediately spots them and guns them both down.
    • Scott himself has an idiot moment at the end of the episode. He arrives at Cartman's "Chili con Carnival" and the pony is there. Cartman even tells him to go stand by the pony.
      You'd Expect: Scott to immediately smell a rat since the pony is at the carnival and his parents never returned home, so obviously the plan failed and something bad probably happened to his mom and dad.
      Instead: He doesn't notice either thing.
    • And for the trifecta, It's time for Cartman and Scott to taste each others' chili in the taste test.
      You'd Expect: Scott to suspect Cartman had done something to the chili he made (especially since Scott put his friends' pubes in the chili he gave Cartman, and Scott knows Cartman is trying to get revenge on him for taking the $16.12.) and refuse to eat it.
      Or: Switch it out with someone else's chili like Cartman did.
      Instead: He eats Cartman's chili without hesitation, later finding out that he just ate the ground-up bodies of his dead parents.
  • In "Butters' Very Own Episode", the episode's plot runs on this trope applying to Butters. The phone call between Butters and Barbrady just proves what idiots they both are. After Butters call his own house after he gets locked inside the car by his mom who pushed the car into a river in hopes of killing her son. Barbrady first asks Butters "Who is this?".
    You'd Expect: Butters to just answer the question first.
    Instead: Butters just moves on and asks another question, "Is this the Stotch residence?"
    You'd Then Expect: Barbrady to state it is, then repeat asking "Who is this?" to Butters once more.
    Instead: Barbrady asks if he's Puerto Rican, and then asks Butters to keep the line clear and to not call anymore, then hangs up. Great going, Barbrady.
  • In "Ladder to Heaven", God suspects that dictator Saddam Hussein, who was banished to Heaven since he's not wanted in either Hell or Earth is building a nuclear bombs factory in Heaven, which he is. Even so, Saddam's factory looks exactly like a nuclear bombs factory and it truly is one!
    You'd Expect: God to go check if there's any uranium inside those bombs.
    Instead: He gets manipulated by Saddam's speech that because it looks very close to a nuclear bombs factory, it can't be one because Saddam defends that he's "smart enough" to ensure anything he builds has a cover-up disguise. Because Saddam put pictures of chocolate chip cookies around his nuclear missiles, God gets too confused to investigate and departs. Saddam remarks, "Stupid asshole!"
  • In the episode "Red Man's Greed", the town is bought out by a Native American casino. They boys come up with the idea for the adults to pool their money together and win a round of roulette to buy the town back. They miraculously win the money, and then some.
    You'd Expect: Them to leave with their money, buy the town back, and split up the extra.
    Instead: They bet it all, and wind up right back where they started. Stan even lampshades this on the ride home, and Randy tries to defend their decision.
  • In "The Passion of the Jew", Cartman starts a "Mel Gibson Fan Club". Tons of townspeople show up assuming it's a club for people who loved The Passion of the Christ, when Cartman takes the podium in a Nazi uniform, discusses how they should go about extermination, and has everyone present start marching while shouting phrases in German.
    You'd Expect: Everyone would realize they're literally dealing with a Nazi and get the hell out of there.
    Instead: They assume it's Aramaic, in an homage to the film, and take part in the march.
  • "With Apologies to Jesse Jackson": Randy is on the game show "Wheel Of Fortune" and makes it to the bonus round. The word that he is supposed to solve looks suspiciously like the n-word since the category is People Who Annoy You and the puzzle board reads N_GGERS.
    You'd Expect: For Randy to give up and realize that winning money isn't worth destroying his reputation on national TV.
    Or: Randy to realize that such a incredibly offensive word would NOT be the answer to the puzzle and try something else.
    Instead: He says the n-word in confidence!!
    Thus: Not only does Randy lose the prize money (the answer was NAGGERS), but his reputation is ruined and he is labeled "the n-gger guy." Seriously, Randy really needs to get his priorities straight.
  • In "Major Boobage", Kenny has been "cheesing" (taking cat urine as part of a drug craze) and his friends came to comfort him. Kyle foolishly takes one of the cats home and his mother Sheila finds it in his dresser drawer while putting away laundry, leading to his parents having a talk about this.
    You'd Expect: Kyle's parents let him explain the whole situation and mention Kenny and blah blah blah.
    Instead: Sheila, the mom, accuses him of lying about the cat, and Gerald, the dad, grounds him.
  • "Super Fun Time":
    • The Pioneer Village that the students are visiting is swarmed by a group of armed criminals who robbed a nearby Burger King. The criminals hold everyone hostage while looking for a way to escape without being caught by the surrounding police. They find an underground gold mine that was sealed off after a kid died down there and the door can only be opened by punch code. All employees know the code, but can't reveal it since they are obligated to stay in character while on the clock, and this technology did not exist in the time period that the village portrays.
      You'd Expect: The employees to make a special exception and co-operate with the crooks.
      Instead: They stubbornly stay in-character and refuse to give the code, being shot dead as punishment.
      You'd Also Expect: When Stan points out that the villagers have access to guns, that Pioneer Paul would have gathered as many guns as possible, killed the two criminals holding the class and employees hostage, and handed the spare guns to his employees to kill the rest of the criminals.
      Instead: Pioneer Paul takes only one gun and instead of killing the robbers, kills an employee who broke character before putting the gun down and joining the hostages. Talk about Skewed Priorities.
      Furthermore: You'd expect the employees to have installed a type of lock that did exist in 1864, if not for the sake of being Crazy-Prepared, than for the sake of not having anachronisms in their village. But they didn't and they paid dearly for it.
  • In 'Casa Bonita', Cartman is angry that Kyle has chosen to invite Butters to his birthday party in Casa Bonita, rather than him.
    You'd Expect: Cartman to get Butters injured at school, like a football injury or trick him into breaking his arm. Or even get Butters grounded. It's not as if that would be too hard.
    Instead: He kidnaps Butters, locks him in a shelter after making him think the world's ended, then Butters ends up in the city dump. The police also arrest Cartman but he only gets a week in juvenile hall.
    • Also, Kyle tells Cartman that he can come to his birthday if Butters can't come. Cartman locks Butters in the bomb shelter that night.
      You'd Expect: Someone, especially Kyle, to realize that Butters went missing right after Kyle told Cartman this, put two and two together, and realize Cartman's responsible.
      Instead: This possibility never occurs to anyone.
  • At the end of "My Future Self n' Me" Cartman is visited by his his slim handsome future self who tells him this is the day his life was turned around and he grows up to be successful after he considers turning his life around.
    You'd Expect: Being smart enough to start a time travel company he wouldn't risk changing his great future and know his past self wouldn't even go back to tell him anything.
    Instead: He does exactly what was said above and given the events of the episode Cartman doesn't listen to him and refuses to do all the things he considered doing and Cartman's future self turns into an ugly overweight mechanic ruining everything he's worked for.
  • In "Cartman's Incredible Gift" Kyle does some research on a strange man who turns up at the crime scenes. He reports this evidence to the police.
    You'd Expect: The police to look into this. After all, Kyle did collect DNA.
    Instead: They call it 'hocus-pocus' and choose to instead use Cartman's psychic abilities.
    Later On: The serial killer in question, angry that Cartman keeps 'solving' the case, comes to Cartman's house and abducts him. Meanwhile, Kyle has jumped off the roof to make the police think he's psychic as well. The police go to the house with the killer, where Kyle 'has seen' him.
    You'd Expect: The police to go about this professionally.
    Instead: They do this.
    Yates: Good evening, sir. We're Park County detectives. We were just wondering if we could take a quick look around your house, Misterrr...
    Serial Killer (in just a pair of tiger-print underpants): God.
    Yates: Well, Mr. God, it won't take but a second; it might help us with an investigation.
    • Worse: The officers look around and see pictures of women with their pictures cut out.
      You'd Expect: Yates to at least consider that something's wrong.
      Instead: He says his son likes doing that as well.
      Then: The other officer finds a room with severed hands on the wall. The killer cuts off the left hands.
      You'd Expect: Yates to arrest the killer, since having severed hands on the wall is VERY suspicious.
      Instead They say that the guy can't be the killer, since the hands are facing right, not left.
      You'd also Expect: Either officer to work out that the backs of the hands are facing right, making them the left hands. Or work out that even having any severed body part on the wall is illegal.
      Instead: They apologize for wasting the murderer's time!
      Then: Yates' colleague remarks about the 'coincidence' of the suspect having hands on his wall. Yates keeps turning his hand round and round.
      Followed By: Yates doing all sorts of tests to determine whether it was the right or left hand. Including taking time off playing volleyball and asking his colleague what he was doing.
      Resulting In: Yates shooting the serial killer just before the murderer can kill Cartman. Yates doesn't get better.
  • In "Go God Go XII", after Cartman froze himself 540 years into the future (Because he couldn't bear to wait 3 weeks for the Wii to come out) where the Nintendo Wii is obsolete and extinct, he spends the entire episode trying to undo his mistake, he finally succeeds by informing Richard Dawkins that Garrison's really a sex change-operated man. Right in the middle of Garrison and Richard having coitus. The future people send him back to his current time, only for his mom to tell him that he's now 2 months away from the Nintendo Wii's release.
    You'd Expect: For Cartman to realize that he has to do what his future self does, given that he just called himself on the phone from the future multiple times just a few minutes ago.
    Instead: Cartman thinks it's Kyle and tells his future self to suck his balls, hangs up the phone and goes to freeze himself all over again.
  • "Cartmanland":
    • Cartman inherits $1,000,000 from his deceased grandmother's estate. He buys an amusement park and keeps people out so he can enjoy it all to himself. His dream becomes short lived as he is forced to let guests inside so the admissions can cover the cost of security, maintenance, food, etc. This turns the park into a rousing success, much to Cartman's chagrin.
      You'd Expect: Cartman to suck it up and enjoy the money he's making by keeping the park open.
      OR: Realize that since he owns the park, he can just cut all the lines without having to face any consequences.
      Instead: He becomes so dissatisfied with people coming into his park that he sells it back to its original owner. Minutes later, his assets are seized by IRS agents who tell him that he can easily cover the discrepancy with the profits the park is making.
    • Meanwhile, Kyle falls into depression as a result of poor health and Cartman getting to manage an extremely profitable and successful amusement park, to the point that he's lost both his faith in God and the will to live. To cheer him up, Gerald and Sheila decide to tell him the story of Jobnote , on the basis that it relates pretty well to his current situation.
      You'd Expect: They'd tell him the full story, in particular the part about Job being rewarded for his faith with even more in the way of possessions, family and health.
      Instead: They don't. As a result, the story comes off as God making Job's life hell just to win a bet with Satan, making Kyle feel even more depressed.
  • In "Night of the Living Homeless", panhandlers invade the entire town in the same fashion as zombies non-stop begging anyone they see who isn't homeless for change.
    You'd Expect: The Adults to just ignore them and not give them a single penny. Giving them anything will only make the problem worse cause then they'll just ask for more.
    Instead: Thanks to their incredible selfishness, the Adults, especially Randy, overreact by treating the homeless as if they're actually flesh-eating zombies. The Adults barricade themselves on top of a building's roof and pathetically wait for rescue teams while living off of Pop-Tarts that aren't Cherry and the boys then have to fend for themselves.
  • In "Le Petit Tourette", Kyle comes up with a plan to stop Cartman from going on Dateline and using his fake Tourette's syndrome to spout hate speech about Jews, by teaming up with Thomas (a kid who really has Tourette's) to trick pedophiles into entering the studio under the guise of sex.
    You'd Expect: The pedophiles to realize it's an obvious setup, since they're meeting the boys at a TV studio en masse.
    Instead: They walk right into the studio none the wiser and commit suicide upon seeing Chris Hansen.
  • In "Dead Celebrities", while on the subject of pedophiles, the two male judges on Toddlers & Tiaras are also pedophiles.
    You'd Expect: Them to restrain themselves while at the competition.
    Instead: They openly masturbate to prepubescent girls on live television! and are arrested on the spot.
  • "Crippled Summer": Nathan and Mimsy have rigged Jimmy's ukulele to explode when playing the solo to his hula song. That solo is "Believe me if All Those Endearing Young Charms". Jimmy, of course keeps messing it up and eventually decides to skip it. Nathan and Mimsy demand the ukulele solo be played again, but Jimmy can't do it and asks Mimsy to show him how. Mimsy proceeds to play it, but Nathan stops Mimsy before he hits the B flat note that triggers the C4 and chides Mimsy for his stupidity.
    You'd Expect: Nathan to get rid of the ukulele or do anything else except what he does next.
    Instead: He gets so angry while yelling at Mimsy that he forgets and plays the solo, blowing himself up in the process. Then he's once again bitten by the black mamba, shot by the Indians and raped by the shark.
  • "Human CentiPad" has Kyle held captive by Apple and surgically attached to two other people, mouth to asshole. Steve Jobs makes it abundantly clear that they can do this, because they snuck the consent into the terms of use agreement for the newest Apple update. Jobs then gives Kyle a contract, saying that all he has to do to earn his freedom is sign it.
    You'd Expect: That Kyle, realizing that he landed in this mess by signing an agreement he didn't read, would suspect that any corporation amoral enough to do what Apple is doing would take this opportunity to enslave them even further rather than let them go, and actually read the damn contract this time.
    Instead: He signs it without even looking at it. Of course, instead of letting them go and separating them, the contract actually says the signer gives consent to let Apple keep them this way for the rest of their lives.
  • In "A Nightmare on FaceTime", the boys have gone to the police to identify a gang of thieves on Halloween. One cop is sent undercover at the party where the thieves said they would strike next, disguised in a trenchcoat, with Stan's iPad on top, giving him directions through FaceTime. While this is going on, Randy interrupts Stan and has clearly lost his mind.
    You'd Expect: The undercover cop to continue what he was doing before. Stan wasn't really controlling him, and neither is Randy.
    Instead: He actually goes on a rampage so that Randy can destroy stuff. Knowing this, it's a little hard to feel bad for him when he gets killed by friendly fire.
  • Season 20 established Hillary Clinton and Mr. Garrison (as a stand-in Donald Trump) as the 2016 U.S. presidential election's two major party candidates. Garrison at first was determined to be president just so he can wage war on all immigrants (mainly Mexicans and Muslims), but panics when he realizes he doesn't have a real plan if he wins. Now wanting to lose the election, Garrison decides to plead to the audience to vote for Clinton during one of their debates and admits to the audience "I don't know what the fuck I'm doing. I should not be president. Okay? I will fuck this country up beyond repair. I'm a sick angry little man."
    You'd Expect: Hillary to accept this and thank Garrison in front of everyone.
    Instead: Thanks to the strategy from her advisers, Hillary doesn't even listen to whatever Garrison has to say and repeats over and over "My opponent is a liar and cannot be trusted." As a consequence, Garrison wins the election and is sworn in as the next President of the United States.
    • Later in the season, Sheila catches Ike trolling, while Gerald is visibly on FaceTime.
      You'd Expect: Sheila to tie this together: That Gerald, her husband, is the troll, that her husband is making one of her sons do this, and that her husband is the reason why the attacks are happening.
      Instead: She assumes that Ike is the one behind this.
  • In "Douche and a Danish", Garrison is determined to throw off the election and decides to expand on his misogynistic comments directed towards white American women so that they'd stop voting for him (this is a satire of Donald Trump's advantage by white female voters). He makes harsh comments threatening to rape them all if he gets elected, making them walk out with only the white males left in Garrison's convention. When they learn that Garrison deliberately killed his projected number of votes, they form an angry mob to confront him.
    You'd Expect: For Garrison to admit what he said was wrong and ask for their forgiveness.
    Or: Run away from them through a back door unseen.
    Instead: Garrison offers them a horrendously poor excuse that the election is fixed, and that he was never going to win in the first place. Cue the angry mob led by Chris Christie chasing after him throughout town.
  • In Season 21's "Doubling Down", Cartman gets sick of listening to Heidi nagging him to lose weight. He buys KFC but with the word "Beyond" written on their boxes with a black marker to trick Heidi into thinking it's plant-based.
    You'd Expect: Heidi to realize that it can't be plant-based if there's bones in the chicken Cartman asks her to eat.
    Instead: She genuinely trusts Cartman and starts eating nothing but junk food for the next few days, causing her to get obese and develop some facial acne.
  • "Mecha-Streisand" there was a fear Barbra Streisand would find the Triangle of Zinthar.
    You'd Expect: They would destroy one or both halves of the triangle to make it impossible to put back together.
    Instead: They just buried it in different locations.
  • In general, Cartman makes up outlandish lies all the time, such as being psychic and Kyle doing 9/11
    You'd Expect: They'd stop listening to him after a while.
    Instead: They continue to believe every lie he tells week after week except for Kyle.


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