Sandbox / Homestuck Clean Up Funny 2

For Funny Moments in Act 6 and beyond, click this link.

Back to the main page.

---

Act 1

• Back when the comic was still driven by community suggested commands Hussie's characters seemingly lacking arms was poked fun at by somebody telling John to retrieve his arms from his drawer. The response was for John to hold a pair of fake arms with his real ones.
• After picking up enough tools to get down to business, John plans next to do something extremely meaningful.
  >John: Squawk like an imbecile and shit on your desk.
• John examining his dad's harlequin collection:
  Sometimes at night you pray for burglars.

Act 2

• Here you can see Rose coming up with ways to one-up her mother. They're all incredibly petty.
• John's first fight against a single imp. The best part is that he spends so much time failing that it takes him three non-consecutive Strife updates to finish.

• Here you can see John hiding with an imp, who quickly abandons him in the next panel.
• The WV deciding to create a town and declaring himself mayor. The city hall is made out of some cans and a book while the rest of the cans are being used as his citizens, who he uses to congratulate himself on becoming mayor.

• Similar to the bathtub incident, John kills an imp with a large book, and he levels up. Then the book levels up. Then the tub, which was used to kill an imp earlier. The absolute pinnacle of it all is when the broken safe is given a Viking Funeral.

• TT: I suspect he is preoccupied with the fact that he just had a bucket of water dumped on his head by the ghost of his dead grandmother, who also happens to be dressed like a clown.

Act 3

• Like the others, Jade is asked (read: commanded) to do something silly, in her case "squeal like a piglet and fertilize some plants". It is stated, however, that she has more important things to do. So what does she do? She squeals like a piglet and fertilizes her plants! All while shouting "Oh God this is so much fun!" It's at this point where we learn that Jade isn't quite like the other kids.

• After playing "Hot and Cold" (mostly cold, freezing, frozen fucking tundra) with Jade's Memory modus and getting three of the wrong items from her deck, we get this gem:
  "Congratulations, you advance your matching skill to the new level: YUKON HERO: LEGACY OF THE FROSTBITE AMPUTEE."

• John updating the gamefaq with a reference to Dave as "sort of this whopping stupid horse butt".

• The name for John's new Hammerkind. The Wrinklefucker
• When Jade dreams up extra arms to play The Beginning of Something Really Excellent, Bec sitting on the roof bopping along is pretty funny.
• Dave completely annihilating adiosToreador's attempt to troll him.
  TG: thats what you see / a kaleidoscopic supernova of all your hopes and dreams all swishin together / radially effervescing arms of more little boy peckers than you can imagine / turning out insane corkscrew haymakers of a billion dancing vienna sausages strong
• The bit with WV's can town was a command, but AR has a completely random freakout:
  You need to take a moment to wear something ridiculous before you continue your spiel... ORDER IN THE COURT. YOU WILL HAVE ORDER IN THIS COURTROOM.

Intermission

• The entire sequence of the Midnight Crew being commanded to be each other, which steadily gets more and more ridiculous:
  • > SS: Be Hearts Boxcars. You are now Clubs Deuce.
  • > CD: Forget you are CD. Believe you are Hearts Boxcars. You suddenly remember you are Diamonds Droog.
  • > SS: Return to being Hearts Boxcars. Spades Slick cannot return to being Hearts Boxcars because obviously Diamonds Droog is too busy being Clubs Deuce.

• "Wait this is a BULL PENIS CANE? You flip the fuck out over the fact that this is apparently a BULL PENIS CANE."
• "Everybody out of the god damn way. You got a hat full of bomb, a fist full of penis, and a head full of empty."
• Stitch says drop the livestock knob and settle the hell down. He says you do realize C4 is a stable explosive and won't detonate with gunfire, right? You say oh.
• Hearts Boxcars spends four hours being swarmed by temporal duplicates: YOU HATE TIME TRAVEL YOU HATE TIME TRAVEL YOU HATE TIME TRAVEL YOU HATE TIME TRAVEL YOU HATE TIME TRAVEL YOU HATE TIME TRAVEL...

• Hearts Boxcars: Attempt to eat Eggs. And nobody changes their hardboiled expression.
• Diamonds Droog having to resist urge to shout 'OH YEAH!' when Cans bursts through a wall.

Act 4

• Terezi's first conversation with John. 4H4H4H44H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4H4. To clarify, this is the only successful trolling attempt in all the story of kids talking to trolls. Other than that, they only irritated the kids by wasting their time (and being mean to Jade), and quite often ended up trolled themselves. Terezi is the best *glasses*

• Rose: Answer troll.
  TT: I suggest you serve these crisp bunches of honey and verbal annihilation to him as part of a complete breakfast.
• adiosToreador trying to destroy Dave. It doesn't work.
  • One particular highlight:
  AT: oKAYYYY, mY BROMO SAPIEN,
  AT: r U READY,
  AT: tO GET STRAIGHT IN, FLAT DOWN, BROAD SIDE, SCHOOL FED UP THE BONE BULGE,
  AT: bY A DOPE SMACKED, TRINKED OUT, SMOTHER FUDGING,
  AT: tROLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL,
  TG: dont care
• John's conversation with Terezi indicates that she hasn't quite grasped human phrasing yet:
  GC: J3GUS JOHN
  EB: what?
  GC: 1 4M 1NVOK1NG TH3 N4M3 OF YOUR 34RTH J3GUS
  GC: TO 3XPR3SS FRUSTR4T1ON
  EB: you mean my earth jesus?
  GC: 1 DONT KNOW
  GC: DO 1
  EB: do you have a troll jegus?
  GC: JOHN
  GC: W3 H4V3 TH3 B3ST TROLL J3GUS
  GC: YOU DONT 3V3N KNOW

• John and Karkat's conversation about Terezi:
  CG: OK IF YOU TALK TO HER AGAIN WHEN SHE TRIES HATCHING MORE PLANS GIVE HER A MESSAGE INTO THE PAST FOR ME.
  EB: ok.
  CG: TELL HER TO POLISH MY HEAVING BONE BULGE AND SET A TABLE FOR FUCKING TWO ON IT.
  CG: ITS FOR OUR CANDLE LIGHT HATE DATE.
• And this extremely precise observation:
  EB: i like how you guys have basically resorted to trolling each other, through us.
  • Immediately afterwards, John proceeds to inform Terezi of said conversation:
  EB: oh, he said to give you a message...
  GC: OH >:?
  EB: he wants you to touch his bone lump or something.
  GC: WH4T!!!
  EB: and that he's pretty much basically in love with you.
  GC: W41T
  GC: D1D H3 4CTU4LLY S4Y TH4T
  GC: 1N CONF1D3NC3
  EB: yeah, i dunno, pretty much.
  GC: C4N YOU COPY 3X4CTLY WH4T H3 S41D
  EB: ohhh no, we're not going down that road!
  • The term "candle light hate date" pops up again here. Its usage isn't any less humorous.
  • Kanaya and Eridan have basically the same conversation later on. It's still funny.

• Dream Rose knocks Lil'Cal out of Dream Dave's tower. Dream Dave is relieved, and it looks like it's curtains for-
  You're not sure which laws are being broken, but it is probably a lot.

• The underlings all look kind of put off by Dave's bizarre collection of alchemized items. The narration comments that "You're kind of weirding them out."

• [S] John: Reunite with your loving wife and daughter
  • All while carcinoGeneticist (Karkat) looks on in disbelief. Or bonks his head in time with the drumbeats.
  • TAKE US THERE CASEY [salamander drum solo]
  • A flashing "HERE COMES THE GUITAR SOLO", followed by a voice making guitar mouth noises. Yes.
  • This was especially ridiculous as AH had previously promised that the next flash page would be the long-hyped up 4/13 one-year anniversary flash and the next command was for the End of Act 4 It'll be a few more pages.
• Preemptive strike from Dave:
  TG: how do you use a computer and know whats going on it doesnt make sense
  TG: my face doesnt make sense
  GC: D4V3 YOUR *F4C3* DO3SNT M4K3 ......
  GC: D4MM1T
• This conversation between Dave and Terezi. Every time Terezi makes a new "image" of Dave is hilarious in its own way. Also heartwarming, in its own, very weird way.
  TG: god so beautiful to look at with my perfect eyesight
  GC: C4N 1 L1CK TH3 P41NT1NGS?
  TG: yeah thats fine
• Just seeing Dream Jade slapping Dream John in rhythm to the beats of the music was particularly funny in this mainly sad flash.

---

Act 5 Act 1

• The entirety of the Troll Intermission is shaping up to be like this.
  • GOD. DAMMIT.
  • Anything connected to Gamzee's MIRACLE MODUS. It's so beautiful.
  • You wonder if you can just...just sort of reach over...and...
  • You only stop when you smell tears.
  • See? The coin has exonerated him. What coin? The prosecution sees no coin. SHE'S BLIND, REMEMBER?
• carcinoGeneticist's [CG'S] computer exploded.

• Equius strongly believes in the Alternian caste system. Gamzee is of a higher caste than him. And then they talk.
  • Gamzee's admission to fraternizing with the imps is itself all kinds of Crowning Moments.
  TC: bUt NoW wE kInD oF sEtTlEd DoWn AnD mE aNd ThE iMpS aRe ShArInG sOmE pIe
  TC: tHeSe MoThErFuCkErS aRe PrEtTy DoPe AcTuAlLy, I lIkE tHeM.
  • His conversation with Vriska. Oh god.
  ROBO SLAP!
  • And now his conversations with Aradia.
• Vriska has built a doomsday device, which looks big and particularly dangerous. But then...

• Vriska ask her MAGIC CUE BALL (whose answers can only be seen by x-ray vision... or vision eight-fold) if she should be worried about Terezi's threat.
  YES
  Ok, little ball. Fine. If you're so smart, then answer this! How is it going to happen!
  HOW????????
  I WILL EXPLODE IN YOUR FACE

Cue the ball exploding in her face.

• The last update Andrew did before leaving for a week begins here and ends with, uh, this. But it easily overlaps with horror and possibly Heartwarming Moment and/or Tear Jerker, but really it's just such an over the top scene that it's simply incredibly hilarious in spite of all that. What makes it even better is the aforementioned fact that it's the last update in a week. Andrew's comment in the thread:
  But I guess all this can be discussed into the ground in the coming week. Over what shall heretofore be known as THE WEEK OF THE GREAT ROBOSMOOCH OF 2010.

• Karkat talking about Jack Noir for the first time.
  CG: BUT IT'S OK, I THINK HE'S PRETTY MUCH SETTLED DOWN.
  AG: Settled down?
  CG: WELL, HE STABBED ME ONCE.
  AG: Oh, only once!
  AG: Are you sure you should trust him? I don't know if I would, 8ut hey I'm not the leader.
  CG: NO, NO, IT'S COOL.
  CG: HE'S COOL, IT'S FINE I DON'T REALLY MIND THE STABBING, IT WAS ALL A MISUNDERSTANDING.
  CG: WELL OK I'M PRETTY SURE HE MEANT TO STAB ME.
  CG: BUT I KIND OF THINK THAT'S LIKE
  CG: THE WAY HE GREETS PEOPLE?
• Okay, this is Vriska to Tavros, so there's absolutely no way it's anything but subjective, but Vriska's absurd insistence that Tavros apologize for being a cripple leads to this panel:
  aG: Say you're sorry for being a cripple! Wheeeeeeee!
  • Even the imp looks sorry for him.
  • Equally subjective was the preceding moment where Vriska built Tavros a tower made entirely of stairs which she expects him to climb as well as his comically understated reaction:
    AT: i THINK THIS, iS,
    AT: pROBABLY MEANT TO ANTAGONIZE ME,
• Tavros summoning the power of RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUFIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! But unfortunately, Rufio is not real. He's imaginary. A fake. Like a made up friend, the way fairies are. You continue to be sad and alone.
• Kanaya's mediation tactics.
  GA:Maybe I Should Upend This Load Gaper Over Your Head
  AG: No, don't!
  GA: Im Still Learning The Interface
  GA: It Could Happen Accidentally At Any Moment
• The narration when Tavros crashes through Vriska's bedroom wall is hilarious.
  • He is having a devil of a time, what with being paralyzed from the waist down and all.
  • Your shadow has been trapped underneath your useless torso the whole time! Honestly, where else would it be you stupid sack of shit?
  • Everyone knows this because it is in the classic tale, PUPA PAN. Young Pupa flies through the window of a fairy girl's respiteblock, falls on the floor, and has trouble getting up like an enormous pansy.
  • Followed by this kiss

• Spades Slick is not very good at giving sympathy.
  There, there, you blubbering goddamn pansy.
  • And on the same page, Gamzee in the background, going HONK.
  • Later, Slick starts to slap Karkat, while Gamzee continues to be chill.
• After many characters are grossed out from drinking something, Eridan... is not, because Faygo actually isn't that bad. It's just soda.
• Feferi revives Sollux. The reactions really seal this one, especially Slick's.
  Goddamn troll kids. Every time you turn around they're smoochin' each other. Makes a man want to stab his own gut and puke blood.
• Troll Andrew. Well, actually it's Andrew wearing gray paint and another MSPA shirt, except this shirt belonged to a girl character.
  • How meta can things get?
  • Uh... Wolf? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH
  • Andrew goes mad with power, and punishes the reader by making them read all the expository texts on troll romance back to back. AAAAAAAAH HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • And he spikes Lil' Cal. BOOYEAH.
• Nepeta winds up in the Land of Little Cubes and Tea (LOLCAT).
• Karkat sets up a bulletin board using Trollian so he can send memos to all the other trolls, but it turns out to be incredibly frustrating and impractical because of weird time shit. When his future self signs in to tell him this is dumb, he bans him. Yes, he bans his future self.
  • He does it again in his second memo.
    CCG: IF I WERE FUTURE ME, WHICH I GUESS I AM, I WOULD READ THIS AND BE ALL OVER IT, LIKE DAMMIT KARKAT WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING.
    CCG: GET TO THE POINT.
    FUTURE carcinoGeneticist [FCG] 0:20 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo.
    FCG: YEAH PRETTY MUCH.
    CCG banned FCG from responding to memo.
    • And then this happens:
      CCG: HOLY HELL.
      CCG: THIS IS EXHAUSTING.
      CCG: I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT ANYMORE.
      CCG: OK, MAYBE I'LL TAKE A MINUTE TO COLLECT MY THOUGHTS AND GET BACK ON TOPIC HERE.
      FUTURE carcinoGeneticist [FCG] 609 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo.
      FCG: NO YOU WON'T.
      FCG: THIS ONE WAS PARTICULARLY NAUSEATING IN RETROSPECT, I'M SHUTTING THIS DOWN.
      FCG banned CCG from responding to memo.
      FCG closed memo.
    • Yes. Karkat from the future (Almost a month in the future, actually) banned current Karkat and closed the memo himself.
    • Also in the second memo, there's Tavros trying to explain what happened with Vriska, and failing miserably at not making it sound weird.
    PAT: sHE TRIED TO KISS ME,
    PAT: wELL, sHE DIDN'T TRY, sHE ACTUALLY DID,
    PAT: aND THEN, kIND OF DROPPED ME,
    PAT: aND ALSO WE ARE WEARING COSTUMES,
    PAT: wOW, i'M NOT EXPLAINING THIS WELL,
• You cannot do it. You cannot kiss the girl.
  • Immediately prior to that, Hearts Boxcars becoming infuriated that Tavros will not kiss her and threatening him over it.
  • We all knew it was inevitable, but it's still really damn funny.

• [S] Make Her Pay qualifies as several Crowning Moments, but it only becomes funny at the very end. Vriska, after getting the Blue Blood beaten out of her by Aradia in revenge, wakes up in Prospit...only to have Terezi smack her upside the head. And somewhere in the middle of that sequence, Nepeta and Equius are beating up a bunch of underlings and it's really awesome...and then Nepeta accidentally tackle-glomps Equius.

• The end of Karkat's final memo, when he says goodbye to Past-Kanaya, due to how casual and used to the timeline-shenanigans Karkat's gotten:
  PGA: Say Hi To Myself For Me
  FCG: OK I PROBABLY WON'T DO THAT, BUT ALRIGHT HA HA!
  FCG: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING OVER THERE ANYWAY?
  PGA: You Mean Future Me?
  FCG: YEAH, YOU'RE MESSING AROUND WITH YOUR CHAINSAW
  FCG: WHILE TAVROS IS ASLEEP ON THE FLOOR
  FCG: OH GOD
  FCG: FUUUUUUUUUUCK WHAT ARE YOU DOING!
  PGA: What
  PGA: What Did I Do
  FUTURE carcinoGeneticist2 [FCG2] 600 HOURS FROM NOW responded to memo.
  FCG2: OK EVERYTHING'S FINE I GUESS
  PGA: What Happened
  FCG2: I PASSED OUT FOR ABOUT AN HOUR
  FCG2: FUCKING EMBARRASSING
  FCG2: YOU'RE OUT OF YOUR GODDAMNED MIND, YOU KNOW
  PGA: Shithive Maggots You Mean
  FCG2: YEAH IN A GOOD WAY THOUGH
  FCG2: OKAY I'M SHUTTING THIS MEMO DOWN FOR MY PAST SELF
  FCG2: SINCE HE'S CURRENTLY LYING UNCONSCIOUS ON THE FLOOR AN HOUR AGO
  FCG2: SEE YOU IN THE FUTURE-NOW
  PGA: Til Then

Act 5 Act 2

• The real reason Karkat decided to troll John backwards: He was so embarrassed by inadvertently revealing his hatecrush that he decided he could never again speak to John at a point in the timeline when John would remember it.Karkat's spectacular intro also deserves mention:

  CG: ATTENTION WORTHLESS HUMAN. THIS IS YOUR GOD SPEAKING.

• Also from the same conversation, Karkat unloading a blistering list of epithets, paragraph long, against his much-despised hatecrush for the first time, only to be completely derailed by John's cheery "hi karkat!" It only gets funnier from there, leading up to the reveal of said hatecrush.

  EB: you mean platonic hate?

• Reexamining the video, John is wearing a spade shirt for most of it. Karkat develops/realizes Kismetic feelings as he watches. Now go to Terezi watching Dave....who has a heart shirt on.
• R41NBOW RUMPUS P4RTYTOWN. Just... yeah. Terezi opens the memo to discuss the stupidity of Karkat's plan to troll the humans and it only gets better from there. Karkat from closer and closer in the past keeps on interrupting until he comes over and starts messing with Terezi's keypad. They ban and unban and reban each other until finally at the end:
  FGC: 1 JUST THOUGHT 1 WOULD 4DD ON3 L4ST R3M4RK TO TH1S S1LL1N3SS
  FGC: 4 R3M4RK OF R34SSUR4NC3!
  CGC: OHH >:?
  FGC: Y3S, YOU SHOULD TROLL TH3 HUM4NS
  FGC: 1T W1LL B3 FUN >:]

• It should be obvious by now that any conversation between human and troll will be worthy of inclusion on this page. This exchange is no exception.
  EB: ok, i will be sure to let my guard down.
  EB: psyche!!!!!!!!!
  EB: oh damn, that was 9 !'s.
  EB: !!!!!!!1
  EB: shit!
  EB: never mind.
• John dispatches some imps, but not in the way you might expect. Following that, John examines his room:
  Look at this mess.
  Will you just LOOK at this slightly bigger mess than usual.
• John and Vriska discussing the different roles that buckets play in human and troll society. John, as always, is Completely Unaware Of The Point.
  • The misunderstanding leads John to kick an imp in the face for carrying a broom. Being culturally sensitive is really hard work.
  • Following the vein of cultural confusion over pails/buckets, Kanaya is so perturbed when a bucket falls on Rose's head that she covers her monitor in shame.
• When Kanaya asks Karkat how she should measure how well she is trolling Rose, he suggests using a FLIGHTY BROADS AND THEIR SNARKY HORSESHITOMETER. It turns out such a meter actually exists. Later, it explodes. It simply cannot take this much horseshit.
• Way back when, Rose and Kanaya talked about a conversation that Kanaya supposedly edited. We finally see it, and Kanaya has edited it. In Her Own Way Of Typing.
  TT: that's me! i am the rose human. look at me, i am so smart with all these snooty words and complicated things to say.
  TT: i am the queen of books.
  TT: I Am Also Infuriatingly Aloof
  TT: And Difficult To Engage With
  TT: When Maybe All The Other Person Wants To Do Is Maybe To Try To Be My Friend

• Oh sweet Cosbytop, you have been missed.
  EB: excuse me, but spending just a little quality time with my man bill here is not a w8stey w8ste at all.
  EB: no amount of 8's in words will make that true.
• Don't forget to mention this token.
  EB: i am the wind waker. it's me.
  AG: I know you are, John.

• Fans of Homestuck had wanted to see a full Hero Mode Gamzee and but the closest they get is this. Andrew Hussie in reaction to fans posted this◊ on his forum.
• John points out when Vriska accidentally uses NINE exclamation points. She is mortified. And strangely, she is kind of adorable when embarassed. That only makes it funnier.
• Dave made this amazing comic◊ for Terezi.
  GC: >:o
  GC: D4V3...
  GC: TH1S COM1C 1S BORD3RL1N3 PORNOGR4PH1C
  GC: YOU 4R3 4 R34LLY FUCK3D UP K1D
  TG: yeah ok whatever you say
  TG: fuckin aliens
  GC: (1T 1S F4NT4ST1C, 1 LOV3 1T)
• Dave's adorable hyperactive crocodile consorts make this page far funnier than it ought to be. It's even better in context: this page was immediately preceded by a page in which Terezi told him he was going to cry someday, but here it's hard to tell whether or not he finally lost his cool or his eyes are just irritated by all the onions slices.
• Terezi's four◊ part◊ D4NC3◊ P4RTY◊ series.
  TG: i cant compete with this
• This update. You have to laugh at how such a simple phrase, such as, "I will make them pay" (for telling a minor "sekret") is so unbelievably bone chillingly scary when coming from Vriska.
• How did Vriska live without Nicolas Cage? She later denies having enjoyed it to John... only to immediately turn around and suggest he'd look attractive with long hair.
• So a coolkid, an ectobiologist and a troll all join a memo... What makes this one great? You can tell that finally, Karkat isn't just being crabby and running all caps just out of habit. No, for the larger portion of the memo, you can clearly picture him abso-fucking-lutely furious for so many reasons.

  • Dave's reaction right after Karkat's opening speech

  CTG: ok later windbag
  ?CG: STRIDER FUCK OFF
  ?CG: AND BY FUCK OFF I MEAN FUCK OFF RIGHT BACK HERE AND LISTEN, YOU INSUFFERABLE PRICK.
  • Karkat's MATING DIAGRAM FOR MORONS◊.
    • And Dave's reaction to it.
  CTG: ok youre by far the worst artist out of any of us
  CTG: and thats saying something
  ?CG: SHUT UP I DREW IT FAST
  (...)
  CTG: thx for the shipping grid bro imma drop everything and go have a baby with jade right now
  CTG: no peeking k
  • Then you have Dave and John talking about how some of the Troll girls may like them
  CEB: i don't think i have ever actually liked a girl before in that way, so i am not really sure what i am supposed to feel or do...
  ?CG: HOLY FUCK WHAT AM I EVEN READING HERE?????
  CTG: doesnt concern you dude
  • Even better was this:
  CTG: is that how it went down
  ?CG: YES, YOU FIGURED IT OUT! YOU ARE A SAVANT OF XENOBIOLOGY DAVE AND I SALUTE YOU WITH ONE OF MY MANY INTERGALACTIC SPACE TENDRILS
  ?CG: (THAT'S FAKE, I MADE THAT UP TO FUCK WITH YOU)
  CTG: or maybe it was a guy who rejected you
  ?CG: FUCK OFF.
  CTG: haha wow bingo
  • Because Dave is completely and totally correct.
  • And then matter of troll romance comes up:
  CEB: what is so different about your romance?
  CEB: what's a quadrant? how many do you have?
  CTG: john god dammit stop embarrassing us
  CTG: first of all weve got to be on record here as not giving a shit about that
  CTG: second obviously theres gonna be 4 quadrants come on

• Much of Alterniabound is hilarious, especially Tavros disregarding Equius' warnings about stairs and pretty much all of Karkat's conversations with the other trolls, particularly Nepeta, Equius, and Gamzee.
• Equius in Alterniabound needs his own mention.

  Equius: D —> Is this where we embrace jocularly, as if we are "bros"

• Karkat snarking about how predictable Vriska's dialogue has become.

  VRISKA: Karkat! Man, you were out for a long time. I have made so many plans for these humans while you were asleep. Do you know how many plans have 8een made?

  KARKAT: PROBABLY ALL OF THEM, EVEN THOUGH PLANS AREN'T AN EXHAUSTIVELY QUANTIFIABLE THING AND WE BOTH FUCKING KNOW THAT.

  VRISKA: Yes! Aaaaaaaall of them. So many irons too. Guess where the irons are!

  KARKAT: PLEASE DON'T LET THEM BE IN THE FIRE, PLEASE DON'T LET THEM BE IN THE FIRE...

  VRISKA: They are........

  VRISKA: IN

  VRISKA: THE

  VRISKA: FIIIIIIIIRE!!!!!!!! ::::)

  KARKAT: GOD FUCKING DAMMIT.

• "You cannot be Future Aradia because in the future, Future Aradia has exploded!" It's even better in hindsight when the explosion's cause is revealed... and turns out to be a good thing.
• Terezi in Alterniabound has a >:?-sprite, where her mouth is actually shaped like a question mark, dot and all.

• TT: Consider this your first lesson in showmanship. It's hard to say whether it's funnier before or after we see the damage for ourselves.
  ==>
• Rose's conversation with Aradia.
  AA: maybe if i behave in a manner s0 rand0m
  AA: parad0x space w0nt kn0w h0w t0 handle it!
  AA: blah BL00P blee BLUH!@#$%^&*()_+
  AA: didnt see that 0ne c0ming did y0u pspace??? + ?*rand(413^612)
  AA: oh look and now i suddenly refuse to type zeroes in my sentences
  AA: isnt that crazy! who thought that was even a possibility
  AA: bslick never would have imagined THAT little vestibule of probability was tucked somewhere in his huge glistening blow sack
  AA: ribbit ribbit ribbit
  AA: WILL YOU LOOK AT THAT
  AA: I JUST CONTROLLED THE RIBBITS AND I DID IT DELIBERATELY

• And now we have Dave's chat with Equius.
  • Which turns into slam poetry about musclebeasts and milk. What makes it truly hilarious is that it's basically the only time that the trolls legitimately get under Dave's skin... and it's completely unintentional on Equius' part.
  • And on the next page:
  TG: im not that strong ok
  TG: just cause i broke a cheap ass sword doesnt make me the fucking hulk
  CT: D --> Oh
  TG: what did you go around breaking a bunch of swords too
  CT: D --> No
  CT: D --> Bows
  TG: how the fuck do you even wield a broken bow
  TG: did you go around clubbing shit with the two halves
  CT: D --> Yes
  CT: D --> Sometimes
• Since Equius has no towels, he dries his face with Vriska's Con-Air poster.
• Let's not forget Karkat arguing with himself. At length.
  • Karkat banning Dave and future Karkat rebanning him.
  • *JADE HARLEY BANNED HERSELF FROM RESPONDING TO THE GRUMPY SHIT HEAD MISERY ZONE, AND IS NEVER COMING BACK* pchoooooooooooooooo
• It's raining plants! Jade's facial expression is what sells that panel.
• The best weapon against Jack Noir besides the Uber bunny? Lil' Cal.
• Jade tries to reach Dave, but instead ends up talking to a crocodile who stole his glasses.
  TG: MY GLASSES ARE TALKING TO ME MY GLASSES ARE TALKING TO ME
  TG: naknaknaknaknaknaknaknaknaknaknaknak
• John trying to get Rose to stop acting so dark and act the way she used to. The meta bit is that both John and the readers have been worried about her, and we're both relieved. Also on Heartwarming.Homestuck.

• Jade's obstacle for entering the medium being a pinata in the shape of Bec
• Jack taking Cal and Bro's Shades for his own...because he killed him and Davesprite. Horrible? Yes. But the sight of a dog-headed Physical God snagging an grinning orange puppet and casually donning a pair of Kamina shades has to be seen to be believed.
• WV lapses back into rudeness towards John because he finds Karkat rude. And then he tries to shout politely at John after his Caps Lock key gets stuck.

• This conversation, but especially:
  TG: basically robots are in control now
  TG: which is good news and bad news
  TG: the bad news is theyre all pornbots and theyve got LOADS of provocative material theyre just dying to share with us
  GG: whats the good news?
  TG: thats also the good news
  • And at the end of it all, the Readers/command-givers put unnecessary pressure on her to alchemize stuff, leading to this.
• Kanaya finally grasps our human sarcasm. Rose is clearly rubbing off on her in the best possible way. And giving Eridan a magic wand can only end hilariously. Ha ha ha ha...NO.
• Tavros killed Grandpa Harley by mind controlling Bec from an alternate universe. Now we just wait for Jade's reaction...
  • And she's...completely fine with it. She acts very understanding of Tavros and his cultural misunderstanding. She's not angry or even mournful. In fact she's grateful that he saved her life. Then they bond over the loss of their respective guardian figures at the hands of Tavros. Sure she was freaked out for awhile, thinking the Blue Haired Dummy did it, then thought it was suicide, and would have liked it if he had told her what had happened, but all in all takes it very well.
  • Then it turns hilarious again when Vriska shares her two boondollars with Tavros regarding the whole thing.

• The final words of those brave Salamanders who tried to fight the Green Tragedy: ^note To see the sequence, examine the flagpole in the village.
  "How can shaving cream be so flammable?"
  How indeed, brave heroes.
  How indeed.
  • The flammability of shaving cream was originally mentioned on these two hilarious pages. It's mentioned again here.
  • Then the fact bites bites back tragically.
• One of the salamander's reactions to getting 1000 boondollars from John for a "rumpled head object." Not to mention the haberdasher selling them—they're unsightly, too! The list includes: Rumpled Head Object, Even Rumplier Head Object, and lastly, The Rumpliest Head Object Of All.
  Salamander: oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god
  Salamander: (faster) THANK YOU SO MUCH, I LOVE MY NEW RUMPLED HEAD OBJECT, AND I LOVE YOU. (salamander is now fast it's practically seizing with glee)
• Another one by Terezi and Dave:
  GC: oops red is how i talk, my bad
  GC: OH MY GOD...
  GC: D4V3 TH1S 1S SO D3C4D3NT
  GC: WHY D1DNT YOU 3V3R T3LL M3 HOW 4M4Z1NG 1T 1S TO TYP3 L1K3 TH1S
  GC: 1 4LMOST C4NT H4NDL3 1T >:o
  TG: ok stop that shit is probably like crack to you
  TG: im not going to stand by and watch you fall prey to your own wild cherry apeshit apocalypse
  GC: OK >:[
• There's something morbidly hilarious abut Vriska hitting on Tavros in her own blood.

• Jade preparing for her christmas alchemy binge only to be interrupted by an extremely angry Karkat.
  • Made funnier by how the doodle of Karkat is a callback to◊ these◊ Hussnasty◊ portraits◊ of some of the other trolls.
  • The text underneath the image only enhances the inherent hilarity of the image:
  Karkat cannot be conveyed with a more detailed portrait yet. He is too angry, and is forced to look like shit. Maybe later if he can manage to calm down.
• shit. lets be santa You Make... Johnny 5. God Dammit. Motherfucker thinks he's alive. HE IS A TIN CAN, ROBOTS DON'T HAVE FEELINGS.

• This, combined with Mood Whiplash.
  Come on buddy, turn that 0_0 into a 0u0!
  wait
  No that looks stupid.
  Oh well.

• Jadesprite's constant "BOO HOO HOO"s can be pretty funny.
• Jade attempts to slap her sprite-self's shit back together ...which is then interrupted by Karkat's trolling bubbles coming out from her plethora of wearable computers, and then by Karkat imagining Jade and Jadesprite making out.
  CG: I'M NOT AS MUCH OF A SCUMBAG AS I WAS SO DETERMINED TO MAKE OUT WITH MYSELF TO BE.
  CG: FUCK I MEAN
  CG: MAKE MYSELF OUT TO BE
• From [S] Wake:
  • When Tavros confronts Vriska, she gives him the same thumbs-down Bro gave Dave. Tavros responds by holding up the severed head of one of his host plushes and making the neck-slashing gesture Dave made. Vriska responds by waving around his severed legs, making the same gesture at her waist. The crazy look on her face was just priceless.
  • Bec Noir nonchalantly kicking Dream!Nepeta over was surprisingly slapstick-y for an otherwise depressing event. DOOF.
  • When Vriska slaps Tavros. It's in the same art style as the ROBO-SLAP. Of course the funny stopped when she impaled him.

• We finally learn what Eridan's planet was, and more to the point that he spent most of the game genociding the angels which lived there. They may have been his consorts. Nobody would visit his world nor would he leave since nobody would take up killing duty in his place. Oh, and they're tough enough to take sustained fire from a legendary weapon. It's even funnier when Karkat tries to explain how he screwed up and Eridan doesn't get it.
• The comic takes a sudden turn to the grimdark, but veers out again when we see Karkat's reaction to what just happened. Especially funny because it's almost a meta joke - that's basically everyone's reaction.
• In [S] Kanaya: return to core, the description when examining the dragonsuit^note \The red thing next to the teleporter is one of the sweeter finds.
• We interrupt the horrific current events to bring you the adventures of Terezi Pyrope, Ace Detective.
  • And one of the lines from it, upon Tavros' limp corpse landing next to her, is funnier than it has any right to be.
  Adios, sweet Toreadoormat.
  • Six panels of her preparing to give him mouth-to-mouth so far and no contact yet. Thank you, Hussie. We needed this after the Gamzee thing.
  This is not going to be pretty. But what are friends for if they
  cant smooch each others butchered corpses when the need arises?
  • 2x Corpsesmooch COMBO!!!

• "You should be careful with that. Do you have any idea how flammable shaving cream is?" You gulp down decadent foamy dollops of the BEARD BUSTER, and quickly respond with the BLUH callback as depicted jostling in the lower right hand corner of the image, because it is not nearly as tasty as you'd hoped. But then you keep eating it anyway.
• The stuff in Dad's wallet modus is hilarious. In addition to the literal ton of shaving cream, Dad had also stored away ten tons of pipe tobacco, the tickets to Cirque Du Soleil (presumably from that visit that banned), and a spare car. In his wallet.
• This is followed swiftly by John's thoughts on his father's interest in Mr. Foxworthy:
  Those redneck jokes were so corny and stupid. You secretly suspected your father was mostly arrested by the man's mustache. Maybe he fantasized about shaving the man's egregious furry lip? This seems like a reasonable theory to you.

• John and Jade's latest conversation, and then they start talking about the possibility that his dad would marry Rose's mom.
  EB: as leader of this team i submit that we cannot afford to let this happen!!!!!!!!!!
  EB: everyone man your battle stations!!!
  GG: RED ALERT!!!!!!
  EB: we have a ship to sink! arm torpedoes!!!!!!
  GG: AWOOOOOOOOOOOGA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  EB: KA-PCHOOOOOOOOOOOOO. target destroyed. B)

• Karkat's attempt at troll dentistry. And yet it doubles as a Tear Jerker. Karkat is flipping the fuck out right now.
• Equius' reluctance to fight Eridan. Not because he's of a higher caste or anything, but because he finds him so annoying he doesn't want to interact with him at all. "I WOULD HIGH FIVE YOU IF IT WOULDN'T SHATTER EVERY BONE IN MY HAND."
• Every talk between Nepeta and Equius in [S] Equius: Seek the highb100d. Especially the roleplay. They don't just roleplay, they roleplay as each other. Nepeta's imitation of Equius is particularly hilarious, especially with the shades.
  NEPETA: :33 < D—> *STRONG EQUIUS NO LIKE HISS-POOR ATTEMPT AT ROLEPLAY, ALSO DISAPROVES OF MISSED OPPURRTUNITY TO SPELL AMUSEMENT AS AMEWSMENT*
  EQUIUS: D—> That's not how I talk.
  (...)
  EQUIUS: D—> *The e%posed belly commands to be scratched*
  EQUIUS: D—> *It commands it, do as it says*

• The transition from Gamzee walking slowly toward Nepeta and the screen darkening to the "BEEP" of John's wind-powered flying car horn. While it Crosses the Line Twice, it is similar to Karkat's reaction being needed relief after all those murders.
• AG: Yes, she was a ghost, and then 8ecame a ro8ot. Then she 8ecame a THOUSAND ro8ots. Then Jack killed them all 8ut one. Then she 8lew up. Oh, and she also had that exact 8izarre laptop you are using right now. How weird is that?
• Dave: Resist great urge to play Bro's Xbox. As usual, you fail to resist the urge. You start thrashing up stunts something uncannybrutal on your quest for OH GOD DAMMIT.
• Dead Tavros pays Dead Dave a visit.
  TG: so aradia just so were clear
  TG: this is like a hellbubble right
  TG: its my eternal punishment to have shitty rapoffs with this tool forever is that it
  AA: yes you figured out the mystery!
  TG: i guess i had it coming for a flagrant lifetime spent being unbelievably fucking incredible at rap and just about practically everything else
  TG: except not dying
• Vriska reads her ancestor's journal containing what seems to be the troll equivalent of a bodice ripper romance novel.
• Vriska, Eridan, and Gamzee face off in what is sure to be an epic (or horribly-one-sided) battle. Kanaya, now revived, also shows up, and it's the first time anyone has seen her since she died. What happens next? Kanaya, now glowing, rushes over and kicks Gamzee in the crotch bone bulge, sending him over the cliff.
• Vriska has just seen rainbow drinker Kanaya punt Gamzee off a cliff, chainsaw Eridan in half, and punch her so hard her eyes cross. Her reaction? <33333333. Jegus, girl.
• For those who like Black Comedy Jack's ludicrous way of accessorizing himself, which gets taken to its logical extreme.
• Bec Noir swears off trophies forever. Probably. Also doubles as Mood Whiplash as this is immediately after his murders of Dad and Mom... and then he takes, of all things, Cal. "He is a true friend. The only you have ever known." And then the panel after. Jack is still Not So Above It All.
• Bec Noir suddenly finding himself transfixed by thoughts of dog treats. "WHY DO BONES HAVE TO BE SO DELICIOUS AND ENTICING."
• The entire conversation between Draconian Dignitary and Jack Noir (Sovereign Slayer). Especially DD?'s Imagine Spot. "He says, you mean the very same droll who couldn't manage the one simple task assigned to him, to steal the White Queen's ring from the very same adoring, wonderful girl and master and friend in question? Wait. He says he just means girl. Just girl. You didn't hear any of that. You don't say anything."
• Aradia's conversation with a dead Aradiabot and an unconscious Sollux.
  TA: 0_0
  TA: FUCK, i cann0t BELIEVE i just made that face.
  AA: hahahahaha!
  AA: hahahahaha!
  
  AA: just as if you stay in one place for too long the geometry of space surrounding you will become unreliable
  AA: you may swat the air to your left and discover you have just slapped yourself!
• Sollux and Aradia in the dream bubble are good for these moments.
  TA: man, being blind is dumb, can i like gr0pe y0u 0r s0mething t0 get up t0 date 0n y0ur appearance, w0uld that be weird?
  AA: yes sollux that would probably be pretty weird
• Kanaya summarizing Aradia's bizarre sequence of transformations:
  GA: You Mean
  GA: Being A Ghost And Then A Frog And Then A Robot And Then A Fairy
  AA: yes!
  AA: but it sure sounds silly when you list them all like that
• Doc Scratch attempting to be civil to Spades Slick. While Slick is clubbing his enormous white head with his trademark horse hitcher.
  [You're not going to stop, are you. It will be very difficult to discuss our points of mutual interest like this. I was prepared to go about it in a civilized way, even though I knew very well I would spend the first several minutes of our meeting sitting on the floor while being flogged. I have even prepared a bowl of candy for you, which I know you will enjoy. Courtesy is important, Jack. Do you have anything at all to say? Any form of communication you care to attempt beyond the sound iron makes against my head repeatedly?
  No, of course not.]
• Slick first stuffing handfuls of Doc Scratch's licorice scottie dogs into his pocket, followed by a shot of him in the background pouring the entire bowl into his hat.
• Rose's conversation with Doc Scratch, in which Scratch accidentally comes off a little creepy.
  [There should be no reason for you to feel uncomfortable with this interaction. Try to think of me as one of your kindly human uncle figures. In fact, if I were in your presence now, I would offer you candy to prove it.]
  TT: Oh my god.
• The conversation with Rose gets better when Scratch refers to the White King, the Homestuck reader knows he means the fifth exile, but Rose hearing it from a guy made completely of white means something creepily unsettling.
  TT: You're being creepy again.
  [No I'm not. Besides, the White King agrees with me.]
  TT: What?
• From a slightly later conversation between Rose and Scratch:
  [Does this worry you? Is there a part of you left that's able to worry?]
  TT: Yes. It has been mysteriously localized to my middle finger. Could the dark magics be at work AGAIN?!
• When he crashes into the private conversation of Rose and Jade, it is as hilarious as it is creepy.
  [Hello ladies.]
• John's goofy expression as he gets bpnked in the head while telling a story to the stuffed bunny. "They all blew away in the—BREEZE.

• Even though [S] Seer: Descend is generally sad and a bit frightening, it still has its light moments, like when Rose meets up with John, signalling the first meeting between the children. John can't understand a thing Rose is saying because she's speaking like an Eldritch Abomination, and when Rose tries to tell John that his dad is dead, John asks if he's in trouble. Rose responds by pulling her velvet pillow out of nowhere^* most likely her sylladex and yelling her frustration into it.
  • "This... this is erotic fanfiction written about the queen in first-person. This doesn't belong in the library. This doesn't belong anywhere."
  • "They wait for he who would drop it like it's hot whilst the pimp's in the crib." (It makes a bit more sense if you've done the appropriate reading.)
• Dave tries to retrieve Bro's sword from his corpse by breaking it to fit his 1/2 Bladekind Abstratus. He fails, hilariously so.
• Dave is contacted by an Exile for the first time, who is almost certainly AR due to the law enforcement talk. The law enforcement talk which Dave accidentally starts repeating in his conversation with Terezi. The law enforcement talk which starts turning Terezi on.

• In a mix of horror and this, Gamzee replaces Terezi's favorite scalemate with Lil' Cal as she's hugging it. Her horrified and disgusted face sells it perfectly.
• Slick repeatedly bonking Scratch with his cane. (Look at the site banner.)
• Slick lighting Scratch's house on fire. (Look at the site banner)
• Despite the result of the above, Doc still takes time to refill the candy bowl. (Once again, the site banner.)
• Karkat meets Terezi on the roof. He is holding a note with blood in it.
  bro. SLOPPY M4K3OUTS. NOW. on the roof. H3H3H3 >:o]
• Doc Scratch does not enjoy Sloppy Makeouts. He does not enjoy them at all. (Banner again) And so he decides to intervene.
• But the background image of a certain Mr. Cage for Vriska's confirmed death, despite being a Level Breaker, is a funny Level Breaker.
• Doc Scratch can tolerate almost anything. Just don't mess with his clock. And then, after a resounding "DOOF." of Slick on the next roof, Doc Scratch delivers the conclusion of his lecture to him (starting here.) Slick is told to use Scratch's deudly firearms.

• This exchange here:
  EB: aradia?
  CG: JUST ANOTHER DEAD TROLL, WHO CARES.
  EB: :(
  CG: STOP FROWNING, SHE WAS ALREADY DEAD BEFORE SHE DIED.
  EB: ...
  EB: :(
• Karkat's hilariously inappropriate slew of Freudian slips while trying to get John up to speed on things here (the first doubling as a Call-Back):
  CG: I'VE TRIED TO TELL HER THAT HER SPRITE SELF IS PROBABLY NOWHERE NEAR AS DESPICABLE AS SHE'S MAKING OUT WITH HERSELF TO BE.
  CG: I MEAN
  CG: MAKING HERSELF OUT TO BE.
  CG: YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
  • and shortly after:
  CG: LOOK, I'M JUST SAYING
  CG: WE'VE ALL GOT FLAWS, EVEN HER
  CG: AND FOR ALL THE SHIT SHE'S GIVEN ME ON THIS VERY SUBJECT, SHE KEEPS HERSELF DANGLING FROM A VERY HIGH HOOK.
  CG: SHE'D BE DOING ME A MAJOR PERSONAL SOLID BY MAKING AT LEAST SOME ATTEMPT TO GET HERSELF OFF.
  CG: WAIT
  CG: FUCK
  CG: WHAT DID I JUST SAY
  EB: wow.
  CG: I MEANT LET HERSELF OFF.
  CG: THE HOOK. THE FUCKING HOOK, IT'S A FIGURE OF GODDAMN SPEECH.
  EB: /raises eyebrows
  CG: PUT THOSE THE BACK DOWN, BEFORE MY HOT ACID RAGEBREATH BURNS THEM OFF YOUR IDIOTIC FACE.
  EB: ok, i am putting them back down as not suggestively as possible.
  CG: WHAT WERE WE EVEN TALKING ABOUT, IT WASN'T THIS, WHATEVER THIS IS.
  EB: what is what this is?
  CG: IT'S NOTHING, YOU SHIT. IT HAS BEEN THE CONVERSATIONAL EQUIVALENT OF US WHISTLING THROUGH OUR SNORT BARRELS WHILE TOUCHING EACH OTHER INAPPROPRIATELY.
  EB: was...
  EB: was that another weird erotic slip of the tongue?
  CG: NO, THAT WAS ME BEING WORKED UP INTO THIS RIDICULOUS FUCKING CONNIPTION AND SAYING SOMETHING INFLAMMATORY, GOD. HOW DOES THAT NOT BE CLEAR BY NOW???
• While the big multi-story flash from 07/02/11 is mostly Heartwarming Moments and tear jerkers, one segments stands out for being funny as balls: the Liv Tyler and Courtyard Droll Chase Hour! Guest featuring WV.
• Dave and Rose's increasingly inaccurate sports metaphors in the 07/14/11 update.
• Before all of the unpleasantness on the asteroid happened, Jade gave Karkat a mildly self-deprecating phrase to use as their chat password. Karkat...blows it a little out of proportion.
  CG: LET'S SEE IF I CAN REMEMBER, IT WAS PRETTY ELABORATE IF I RECALL, OK HERE GOES.
  CG: I'M A DISGUSTING WORTHLESS BILGESACK ON THE GARGANTUAN TEAT OF A LABORING, LEPROUS MUSCLEBEAST. MY SELF ESTEEM IS SO SMALL, ITS EXISTENCE IS A MATTER OF CONJECTURE AMONG THEORETICAL PHYSICISTS. I SMELL SO BAD, THE STENCH CANNOT BE EXPRESSED WITH EVEN THE MOST ELOQUENT, FLORID LANGUAGE. THE ODOR MY BODY MAKES HAS MADE POETS CRY. I HAVE WON SPECIAL AWARDS FOR DISCOVERING NEW PLACES TO TOUCH MYSELF EROTICALLY WHILE FARTING. I UNFAIRLY PULVERIZE THE COMPETITION IN ASSHOLE PAGEANTS, AND I HAVE RECEIVED A LIFETIME BAN FROM UGLY CONTESTS BY PRESIDENT SHITFACE HIMSELF. MY BLOOD IS NOT FIT TO FLOW THROUGH A SEWER, AND MY SIGN IS A PICTOGRAPHIC SYMBOL THAT LOOSELY TRANSLATES AS "PLEASE HIKE THESE PANTS UP TO THIS GUY'S ARMPITS, CHAIN HIM TO A FLOGGING JUT, AND MAKE A FUCKING EXAMPLE OUT OF THIS SORRY SACK OF SHIT." WHEN I LOOK IN A MIRROR, MY REFLECTION SLOWLY SHAKES HIS HEAD WHILE I WET MYSELF IN SHAME.
• Jade hitting Bec Noir upside the head with a newspaper.
  ?GG: aaaaaa no no no, bad jack, bad!!!!!!
• Gamzee admitting to wanting to make out with Tavros. It comes almost entirely out of left field and Tavros is completely dumbfounded about it. The rapping beforehand is also pretty hilarious.
  AT: sO MANY, uH, gRATUITOUS EXPLETIVE, mIRACLES, tHE MAGIC MOTHER, aLSO eXPLETIVE, mIRACLES,
• Despite being a gigantic Tear Jerker for Karkat, the 8/2/11 updates manage to be tragically absurd.
  CG: I THINK I GAVE HIM CANCER.
  CG: I GAVE YOUR WHOLE UNIVERSE CANCER, JADE.
  CG: SORRY.
• Hussie breaks the fifth wall. It could probably be a Moment of Awesome, but the Alt Text kind of throws you off. Booyeah!
• The Alt Text for this page.
  "He's keeping little girls locked up in weird rooms, and rambling about troll ancestors. I just know it."
• The scary wolf head makes a reappearance. (look at the banner)
  Hussie in Alt Text: Ah-ha! Caught red-handed you bastard. You stop clogging up my story with your troll fanfiction this instaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

  That was not the right door.
• AH's monologue as he sneaks up on Scratch is pretty amusing as well.
  My heartbeat falls in rhythm with the clock as I draw close to my prey. I leave nothing to chance, for you see it is the most dangerous prey of all, a four foot tall asshole in suspenders who wont shut up. Wait for it, Hussie. Wait for it...
• AH's getback at Doc Scratch for taking over his narration. Look at how they wiggle as Hussie attacks Doc Scratch! Doubles as Moment of Awesome.
  Everybody is totally fed up with your condescending, self indulgent narrative style. They all want to go back to my slightly less condescending, slightly more self indulgent style.

  See? Even that little girl has had enough of your shit. Run, Aradia's ancestor! Run!!!! You have locked up your last asian schoolgirl, you sick fuck.
  Oh don't you flop around at me like that. Are you listening little man?!
• In the flash before Karkat paps Gamzee, everyone in the vicinity 'fills a quadrant' with Gamzee, but gets stopped by Karkat. Kanaya attempts to ashen-mediate between Karkat and Gamzee, Terezi tries to go caliginous for him, and Karkat is later revealed to be pale with Gamzee, which leaves Sollux as flushed. Instead, he has mixed flushed/caliginous feelings, and starts yelling at what he thinks is Gamzee... but is facing the wrong way, and is yelling at Li'l Cal instead. It's hilarious. Especially because, while everyone is getting ready to face down Gamzee in turn, Karkat comes up behind them and waves them off in truly ridiculous fashion completely at odds with the drama of the moment. He does this with Kanaya hefting her chainsaw, and then Terezi readying her cane. We then get to Sollux yelling at Cal, and Karkat just stands in the background staring at him with an expression that says, "O... kay. Moving on..."
• The shoosh/pap moment also manages to make this bit from a few updates back Hilarious in Hindsight as well:
  CG: JOHN, TRUST ME. YOU WOULDN'T UNDERSTAND.
  CG: IT'S JUST A TROLL THING, HUMANS WOULDN'T GET IT.
• Andrew returns to his old narrating ways. Doubles as a Heartwarming Moment, too.
• Speaking of the Act 5 Flash, there's one short moment with Terezi pointing up at the Green Sun, and Karkat grabbing her arm and pointing her in the right direction. Shortly before that, when Karkat is cut off from Jade due to The Scratch, you can see Gamzee waving while everyone else is a safe distance away from him while Kanaya eyes Gamzee suspiciously.

• Karkat sets up a memo board to talk to Dave and John in. What's it called? Fruity Rumpus Asshole Factory!
• The following Deadpan Snarker moment from Dave:
  GC: FOR 1NST4NC3, 1 4M 4 TROLL!
  TG: no shit
• Jade attempts to contact one of the numerous time-travelling Daves:
  GG: dave! any dave out there please answer me!
  TG: this is a dave out here whats up
• All in all, each moment Karkat speaks on-panel counts as this. His shouts and expletives, while it's painfully obvious that he cares for all his friends, both trolls and humans, are both adorable and hilarious even when he doesn't pepper them with inappropriate erotic slips of the tongue and goofy drama (which makes even the most genuinely sad and horrible situations kinda funny) - and in this act, he does, all the time. And that's without even mentioning arguing with himself and backwards trolling.

Intermission 2

• In the middle of the rather intense and chilling [S] Begin Intermission 2, the view amusingly cuts to a series of shots of the scary wolf head. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH.

---