Funny / Taskmaster S6-S10

Taskmaster Funny Index
British Series:
Series: One to Five | Six to Ten | Eleven to Fifteen | Sixteen to Twenty
Other Series: New Zealand Series | Australian Series

Series 6

Tarpeters

• When Alex announces that the first prerecorded task involves darts, there is an immediate, audible groan from several of the contestants.
  • Subsequently, Russell hitting the dartboard several times (but only scoring three points), Tim spending half his time debating the distance/number of darts tradeoff before throwing most of his darts into the ground, and Alice being utterly bewildered by both the darts and the dartboard.
• The task is to take a wind-up man on a pennyfarthing bicycle on an "incredible" journey:
  • Liza takes her wind-up man to the car park and has it travel across. After a couple near misses from a car and a bicycle, the wind-up toy is struck by a slow-moving car but is otherwise intact and functioning. Liza then walks up to the wind-up man and stomps on it, leaving Alex rather distressed. In the studio, Alex explains that he was genuinely upset because that was the only wind-up toy the production crew had at the time.
    Alex: You didn't need to put him out of his misery.
    Liza: I did, it was horrible.
    Liza: Look at his head!
    Alex: ... I don't want to look at his head.
  • Asim summarises everyone else's attempts at this task as them taking Comedic Sociopathy up to eleven with the little wind-up man. The wind-up man died alone in a bag^note Alice airmailed her wind-up man to a cousin in Australia. However, the address she received was 30 years stale, and she has no idea where it actually ended up, was smashed up to bits^note aforementioned stomping courtesy of Liza, was brainwashed into a cult^note Russell took the little man on a "spiritual" journey up the roof while Alex read out proverbs and drops him into Alex's hands, or was lynched in a tree^note Tim tied the wind-up man to a string (around his neck) and took it on a journey up a tree. The string caught on some branches and Tim spends the majority of his time freeing the little man.

BMXing!

• The first task involves doing the manliest thing with the provided cardboard box. Tim decides to stand topless in the box and pull manly poses on the side of a busy road.
• The team task is a two-parter that sees the contestants competing to have the most fun and then replicating their first attempt as best they can. During Russell and Alice’s attempt, Russell says that there’s probably a little old lady, sitting at home “rubbing herself silly” while watching Russell kick a football, and Alice taking a bath. When Greg questions Russell on why he would think that, Russell can only offer the defence of “we don’t know that there isn’t”.
  Alice: (Gesturing at the audience) And she’s here tonight!

H.

• The first prerecorded task is introduced to the contestants by prompting them to follow the piece of string. The string traveled from the pigeonholes in the foyer, down the corridor, in through the living room, out through the garden and into a kids' play tunnel, and to the caravan. Tim takes a Literal-Minded approach and actually follows the string through the play tunnel, and he takes about 15 minutes longer than anyone else to reach the task. This all takes place before the actual task itself (which is to determine the length of the string whilst confined to the caravan).
• The team task is to figure out the connection on a String Theory board and then do it 100 times. Liza figures out the clue in less than a minute ("HOP"), but Tim and Asim insist that there is a deeper meaning and spend another 5 minutes looking for the deeper meaning. Liza then starts to hop on her own and completes the task, and even after Alex blows the whistle to signal the time, it takes a few seconds for Tim and Asim to take in that they have completed the task.
  Greg: Have we ever had a clearer metaphor for the plight of women through the ages? [...]
  Liza: They came into the other room, furious — no "well done" — and Tim's gone "Greg's gonna bloody demolish me for that."
• For the "elaborate snooker trick shot" task, Russell enlists Alex to sledge and heckle him as he accomplishes various feats during his shoot. The heckles... could have been better:
  Alex: (as Russell prepares to kick a football into the caravan) You're not very good at football.
  (As Russell shoots a basketball into the bathtub) I don't understand your dress sense.
  (After Russell tosses a hula hoop around a pot) I'm not very sure about your hair.
  (As Russell does his snooker shot) Your glasses look a bit silly.
• It's easy to miss, but during the credits, Greg orders Alex to get down on all fours and he starts jumping up and down on "Alex"^note actually a box... only to tumble back down onto his throne.

Roadkill Doused in Syrup

• Asim has to write a list of obscure animals. The animals he writes include things like "anorexic elephant" and "laser-beam turtle". Then he finds out what the team task is...
• One task asked the competitors to put as many kitchen items in their headband, with the most items kept in the headband counting towards their performance. During the second part of the task where they were to make a pancake at least 9 inches in diameter and eat as much of it in the remaining time, Alice inexplicably shakes her headband, flinging her kitchen items around. Alex has to ask her whether she understood the task.
• For the final task, the group has to roll an egg to hit a target. Russell casually plays with his egg by tossing it in the air...only to immediately drop it.

The Bubble Brothers

• During the "Make The Bag The Heaviest" challenge:
  • Both the women get the idea to fill it full of water. Liza pops a hose into the bucket in her bag and turns it on, and the hose begins to leap around and spray water everywhere. Liza screams and takes off running, disappearing around the corner of the house.
  • Tim brushes against the hook, accidentally dislodging it from the scale onto his jacket. He then spends the rest of the task hunting for it, which Alex reveals took him 15 minutes.
    Greg: It was like a one-man Last of the Summer Wine at times.
    Tim: Last of the Summer Vine!

He Was a Different Man

• The last challenge sees the contestants doing something to show their love for Greg:
  • Asim's take is to perform a rap song for Greg.
  • Tim decides to dress up as Greg's mum and say how much he loves having Greg as a son. Greg uses the comments to declare to his sister that he's the favorite child.
  • Liza's idea is equal parts Squicky and hilarious. She asks Alex to complete the task on Greg's behalf and gets him to sit with his bare bottom on a large cake. In the aftermath, she runs away giggling loudly.

Series 7

General

• Whenever Alex greets James, James doesn't say anything and instead gives him a Death Glare.
• Rhod's prize task submission repeatedly being the same picture of Greg posing in his underwear, or as Greg puts it, "a picture of me looking fat".
• Phil Wang's outfit and the anguished groans it elicits from the studio audience. Not helped by the fact that for each episode, there is a new audience who would not have been exposed to previous sightings of Phil's crotch.
• Also from Phil Wang, his ineffective haggling for most of his prize task submissions.
• Jess and her airhorn impression.

The Mean Bean

• Alex Horne, Executive Ball-Clicker.
• Rhod's submission for the prize task "thing that most people would like to touch" is a replica of Greg's giant blue teddy bear, Blue Ted. Greg is forced to explain that as a teenager he had "relations" with this bear.
• Rhod's quick-change outfit, which involves removing Alex's underwear. It sets the series trend for Rhod's tasks often humiliating Alex.
• James: "I know it's early days, but are we the stupidest ones so far?"
• Alex notes that Rhod was the only one to use a calculator when measuring the caravan with baked beans.
  James: It is such a bad omen that Rhod is the smart one.
• During the live task:
  • James just sags down and, instead of using the grabbers to grab a hold of the fruit on the table, just uses them to shove all of it onto his head, with limited success.
  • Jessica realizes that James has crawled up to her table and is stealing her supplies. She pauses in the task to yell, "Get off my fruit, Acaster!"

My Eyes Are Circles

• Phil presenting his entry for the prize task of the boldest belt (a hot pink leather belt with a lion's head belt buckle):
  Phil: This is how bold the belt was. When I asked for this combination, the guy said, "Are you sure?"
• At the end of Phil's attempt on the "write a ten-word story while running" task:
  Greg: ...Twist! He's eaten his own child! Which is an act of? [points over to Alex]
  Alex: ...H-Happiness?
• The team task involves one team member painting some objects while blindfolded, and their teammate(s) have to direct them while only saying certain approved words. James' Aside Glances to the camera really sells the task, especially since he is blindfolded.
• In the 'make the biggest circle' task:
  • James's Epic Fail. Instead of making one big circle, he decides to spin a hula hoop around his arm while cycling in a circle. The hoop gets stuck on his torso, he crashes the bike, then lands on a circle on the ground and tries to claim it as part of his attempt. When Greg calls him out on it:
    Greg: Have you got anything different to add?
    James: ...my eyes are circles?
  • Later, James tries to interject himself into an argument about Rhod's circle, prompting Greg to smack him down.
    Greg: I mean how... how... how dare you even speak? I mean, fair play, the balls of the man!

Twelve Blush Majesty Two

• The "best thing from the 90s" prize task gets Rhod's submission of...the picture of Greg posing in his underwear, which Alex points out is from 2010. Rhod has also brought a backup picture of the Spice Girls - with underwear Greg edited in.
• In the task to excite Alex:
  • Rhod feigns some overly sexual actions at the start by kneeling in front of Alex and putting his face into his lap, much to Alex's discomfort.
  • James tries to excite Alex by surprising him. This fails to get Alex's heart rate up at all.
    James: I don't really know how to surprise you...WAHA, BANANA! (he throws a banana at Alex)
  • Rhod, true to form, decides to tie up Alex, strip off most of his clothes, and force-feed him coffee through a large horn, which only brought his heartrate up by 11.
    Rhod: Is that your final reading?! I think we've learned a lot more about you than we have about me, yeah?
    Alex: We've learned a bit about you.
  • Jess initially attempts to frighten Alex by describing a scenario in which he is in an open shark cage (to little effect).
    Greg: I think it was your voice, Jess. I don't think you're capable of describing something scary.
    Jess: Of instilling fear?
    Greg: Yeah!
    Jess: [affecting a voice] You wanna bet?
    Greg: Yep.
• All of the 'best noises', but particularly Jess's.
• The task is to get a cricket ball into a hole in as few strokes as possible. Instead of striking the cricket ball like everyone else, Rhod digs up the hole and moves it closer to the starting position.
• Tasked with writing down "an interesting ten-word fact" and then mouthing it to the Taskmaster:
  • Rhod mouths "Greg broke a toilet seat by sitting on said toilet". Greg guesses "Greg brawls in dog jail, think bail, failing all dog death."
    Alex: He does have quite a strong accent.
  • Then there's the subsequent revelation:
    Rhod: But you don't remember.
    Greg: I do remember. It was my own toilet.
    Rhod: It wasn't, actually. It was at the Edinburgh Festival. [...]
    Greg: In that case, you should have written in "Greg has broken two toilets."
  • It is a small moment, but when Phil is mouthing his interesting fact, which included an exaggerated tongue movement to signify the word "twelve," Jess and Kerry have diametrically different reactions, the former with disgust and the latter with intrigue.

OLLIE

• James impulsively calls Greg a pussy in the studio and Greg decides to go into "teacher mode", pulling James aside for a gentle but firm talking to. This delights the audience because everything is picked up by the men's microphones and because James is legitimately contrite and terrified. Towards the end, when Greg is clearly at wit's end attempting to open Phil's box, he suddenly stands up and throws it on the floor.
  Jessica: It's frustrating, isn't it, Greg, when you're asked to complete tasks under pressure and there's a lot of people watching.
  [Greg looks straight into the camera and waggles his eyebrows]
• James straight up catching Alex moving Ollie^note  The knight that stands by near the Taskmaster house in Series 7. during a task.
• The task is to get into a lift and look the most dramatically different when the lift gets to the ground floor:
  • James tries to press the emergency button to halt the lift to give himself more time during the 'completely change your appearance' task. The button makes a quiet alarm go off, but the lift continues, much to James's frustration.
  • Rhod and Kerry get into a vicious argument about which of them changed their appearance more, during which Rhod yells that all she'd done was "stick some Brillo pads to [her] tits". This line delights James so much that he inexplicably leaps to his feet and runs behind his chair (much to Jess and Greg's confusion).
• In the task to get a scale to read 31.770 kg:
  • It is quite some time before Jess realises she can leave the room during the scales task.
  • Before she realises she can leave the room, the only thing she can think to do is ask the entire film crew to remove their shoes and put them all on the scales.
    Alex:(in gentle bewilderment)...Why have you only used shoes?
• At the end of the episode as part of the outro, Greg suddenly slaps Alex in the face. The shocked laughter from everyone is hilarious, especially Alex, but best of all is Greg who looks equally shocked, like he can't quite believe his own actions.

Lotta Soup

• The prize category is 'worst gift from a named relative':
  • Jess's is a feather boa, which she wore with long opera gloves to the secondary school disco.
    Jess: What happens when you wear a feather boa and opera gloves to the secondary school disco?
    Greg: What?
    Jess: You do not get fingered.
  • Later, she goes on to elaborate that she saw her friend, Nell, getting fingered by the guy she wanted to get off with. Greg moves to James Acaster, who begins his introduction with 'My wife Nell...'
• From the "deliver the task to Alex in the most spectacular way":
  • James's delivery of the task to Alex, which is insane, and involves Richard Osman.
  • Rhod's delivery. He spears the task with a javelin and then throws it at full force into the caravan.
• Jess spends forever building a long stick to paint white circles on the target, giving her very little time to actually make any circles. She eventually remembers to ask if there's a time limit - with 30 seconds to go. Panic ensues.
• Phil Wang, cheering up a former traffic warden:
  Traffic Warden: I'm a philistine.
  Phil: You're a philistine? ...I'm a Philip Wang.
  (both laugh)
• The live task is a team task and involves placing heavy objects on the hanger, with the team who causes it to break losing.
  • Before the task, Rhod makes a remark on Greg's weight. Immediately afterward, Alex hands Rhod a letter that Greg had made earlier.
    Rhod (Reading what's on the card): "I, Gregory Davies, being of sound mind, hereby predict that during the coat hanger task, Rhod Gilbert will make a joke about how fat I am".
  • Phil goes first and immediately breaks it.

A Coquettish Fascinator

• Rhod's submission for "best key" is correctly predicted by Greg as "a picture of me looking fat", but it's the underwear picture edited onto a graph with two different colors on the graph "key" for "Greg" and "Speedos".
• As the contestants read out the instructions for 'put exactly 50 different things in this bin', James decides to wind up Alex by reading out the task as "Fit Alex in this bin. Roll him down the hill. Fastest wins." Alex looks genuinely concerned that the wrong thing was printed on the task.
• The soap opera cliffhangers:
  • Jess and Kerry's soap opera is called 'Cul de Sac', and both of their characters are called Donna. The cliffhanger:
    Jess: You can't be with him, Donna.
    Kerry: Why?
    Jess: 'Cause you're his mum!
  • James, Phil, and Rhod's cliffhanger, meanwhile, takes place entirely in the bath.
    Phil: My water's broken!
    James: My heart is broken.
    Rhod: Rub a dub dub!
• The third recorded task requires contestants to choose a box, take it to the lab, and place 10 pairs of glasses inside it, without breaking any. Only when they reach the lab do they realise... it's 10 pairs of drinking glasses. James's reaction really sells it.
  James: (resigned) Yep, yep.
  • Phil and Jess successfully pack all of their glasses into their chosen box. Phil, however, gets more points because his box was smaller. Jess promptly retorts "No it's not", referring back to the crotch of Phil's boiler suit, with which by this point the audience is unfortunately well-acquainted.

The Perfect Stuff

• The contestants trying not to blink.
  • James does an intensely creepy stare at the camera and lasts about eleven seconds.
  • Rhod, even more creepily, holds his eyes open with his fingers, and later tries to tape them up - he lasts over seven minutes. Kerry remarks that he "clockwork-oranged" himself.
  • Alex casually mentions that his child outsmarted all five competitors, by pointing out that the easiest way to win the task is to just keep your eyes closed when the whistle blows, as then you don't need to blink. All five of the line-up then groan and/or facepalm.
• The shambles that is James, Phil, and Rhod's extension:
  • James and Phil start building an extension while Rhod just stands there with his eyes closed. Then, Rhod suddenly opens his eyes and declares he has an idea. Separately from the other two, he wanders off to the garage, closes the garage door (behind which there was plenty of good extension-building equipment), and sticks a cardboard sign to the door saying 'Extension'. James is furious, even more so when Phil defects and starts helping Rhod instead.
  • Phil's excuse for helping the Welshman? "They're very charming, the Irish."
• The live task involves walking along a catwalk while doing a magnificent walk so that they hit the drum at exactly 9.58 seconds.
  • Before the task starts, this conversation happens:
    Alex: Does anyone have any questions?
    Kerry: What happens if we fall off the stage?
    Alex: Oh, you don't need to walk blindfolded, you should be alright.
    everybody laughs
    Jess (laughing): That's what I thought!
  • Then, during the task, Jess actually does fall off the stage! She loses the task but gets two bonus points for the most magnificent walk.

Mother Honks Her Horn

• The prize task is to bring in the 'creepiest thing'. As usual, from Rhod, Greg expects the same photograph of himself in his underwear. Rhod's actual submission? A phone-shot video... of Greg sleeping. Shot from inside Greg's wardrobe. Where Rhod had been hiding all night.
  Greg: I saw you out!
  Rhod: No, you didn't!
  Greg: Fuuuuckin' hell.
• Most of the 30-second compositions, but in particular James's, titled 'Over my Shoulder'. In response to the lyric 'Is that a boulder?'
  Alex: At one point, you wondered whether or not something was a boulder.
  James: Yeah, cause you know, is it a boulder? Or is it just a... big rock.

The Pendulum Draws the Eye

• Rhod's submission is preceded by a story of him going on a trip in 1992 and seeing many beautiful sights, then returning home to Wales and seeing Port Talbot by sunset, claiming it surpassed the beauty of everything he saw on his trip. He then shows a picture of it, which Greg correctly anticipates has the picture of him in his underwear edited in.
• The Split task, in which Phil and James are asked to hula hoop and then improve their hula hoop time, and Jess, Kerry, and Rhod are asked to take a photo of themselves wearing a fez in an unusual situation.
  • Rhod's "unusual situation" is a photo of Greg's mum wearing the fez in the bath. Greg initially anticipates it to be "a fez superimposed onto a photo of [him] looking fat", but when he turns around to see the photo, his face goes from "Rhod, you bellend" to "what the fuck" in less than a second. He has to shake his head just to clear it of what Rhod had done.
    Greg: Aww, Jesus Christ. You traitorous old woman.
  • Rhod then jokingly proclaims that she's in the studio, to which Greg replies that she actually is and Rhod suddenly gets very embarrassed.
  • The other half of the split task sees James and Phil attempt to improve upon their hula skills. James practises for weeks, then completely fails when it comes to the actual task.
  • Phil's task outfit, which had already revealed far more of him than he'd intended, does him no favours while hula hooping and he is visibly embarrassed after the VT.
    Greg: Anyone else here find that as traumatic as I did? I could not take my eyes off it.
    Kerry: You didn't have a choice!
    Greg: It doesn't matter, sometimes, how ornate the grandfather clock is, the pendulum draws the eye.
• The task to find the satsuma among 50 socks:
  • Phil thinks he's found the satsuma among the socks, but discovers it's a different citrus fruit. He then collapses to the ground and lobs the fruit while exclaiming:
    Phil: A LIME!
  • Rhod's interpretation of the satsuma task, and Greg's initial feelings that it should be allowed, results in yet more genuine rage from James. The outtakes reveal James not only accused Greg of favouritism but also turned on Rhod, who'd backed him getting points for the hula hoop task.

I Can Hear It Gooping

• The contestants are told that whenever they hear a siren sound, they have to drop everything and rush to put on a boiler suit and lie on the ground. The final task is to tie themselves up as securely as possible... during which the siren sounds. Once again, Rhod proves that his brain works differently from everybody else's. Since the task specified that the winner would be the person who was freed slowest by Alex, he decides to tie Alex up first. Back in the studio, Alex admits that he never managed to untie Rhod; Rhod untied him.
  Phil Wang: We'd love to hate that. We'd love to hate that, but that was fucking great.
• The video game task. All of it:
  • Jess recreates Mario Kart using golf carts; Alex mentions that it was the most fun he'd ever been allowed to have during a task.
  • Rhod amasses about a hundred people to pretend to be aliens so he can recreate Space Invaders. Plus, he amuses himself by trying to hit the male volunteers in the groin.
  • Kerry recreates Tetris using plastic shapes that Alex pushes towards her but quickly becomes frustrated as Alex speeds up.
  • Phil recreates GoldenEye, successfully recreating the bad camera controls by tying one each of his and Alex's arms behind their backs.
  • The best recreation, however, has to go to James, who does a ridiculously accurate recreation of Grand Theft Auto, including the infamous 'wasted' screen and the music that plays while driving a car:
    James (singing): Music, music playing in the car. Loads of music, playing in the car.
• The final task of the series, 'Sausage or Finger?'

Series 8

In General

• Iain mispronouncing different words like crisps (CLRISPS), chutney (CHOOT-ney), and most egregiously, sandwich (SANG-wich).
• Paul being the perfect example of book-smarts not always going hand-in-hand with common sense.

Hello

• The first prize task of the series is for most powerful smell. It starts with Iain farting in a jar and culminates with Lou calling Sian’s mother and sisters sluts.
• The opening task is to find the other baby monitor:
  • To find the baby monitor, the contestants are given the receiver taped to a long stick which is attached to a helmet. A camera is also attached to the end of the stick, leading to confusion from Lou.
    Lou: And what’s the camera for? (Immediate realization) Oh!
    Alex: Well, we’re going to show this on the TV.
  • When Greg asks Paul about his Arthur Dent inspired costume:
    Paul: Well I'm known for looking like a twat on The Chase...
    Greg: I don't think you look like a twat.
    Alex: No, he does.
  • Paul takes nearly thirty minutes to find a baby monitor. Made even funnier is that the next closest competitor only took nine minutes.
• The task is to create and then seduce a ventriloquist puppet.
  • Joe’s idea of seduction? Killing his balloon puppet by stabbing it with scissors.
    Joe: Is that what you wanted? (Beat) What?
  • All of the ‘seductions’ include a gem of a line but special mention has to go to Lou’s “I play the guitar but I wait to be asked.”
• When caught by Alex during the railway task, Sian first insists it was a fox, then asks if they can't keep playing anyway.

A Novel About Russian Gulags

• The task to create the best-looking moustache from a distance. Lou’s immediate answer is pubes. She quickly dismisses it though.
  Lou: Sometimes my mind is not my friend. Please don’t put that in the show.
• Sian continues the Taskmaster tradition of attempting to siphon but not understanding how it works. She probably has the worst try so far though since she thinks that rice can be siphoned.
• The very first team task is a bit of charades:
  • Joe’s expression during the first team task. Greg says that Joe looks like he’s watching someone transform into a lizard.
  • Lou’s guesses during the team task which run the gamut from ‘hope’ to ‘a menstrual mooncup’.
• The task is to make a continuous noise with one's mouth for the longest time while running:
  • Iain gets winded from just walking across a field to Alex (before the actual task).
  • Paul having to make a continuous noise while running as far as he can while wearing a bathrobe.
    Greg: How lovely to see a deleted scene from ‘One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest’.
• The live task is to say a bird, pop a grape in your mouth, and then say the name of a fellow contestant, who then has to do the same. Repeating birds is not allowed. Iain makes up the word ‘Baliflu’ only to be knocked out on his next turn by saying ‘chicken’ after Lou had already said ‘hen’.
  Alex: So, a lot has gone on there. We had a 'hen' and 'chicken', then we had 'Baliflu'.
  Iain: I'll be honest with you: when I made that word up, I didn’t think the game was gonna continue.
  Alex: Are we allowed 'chicken'?
  Iain: It's a different word!
  Greg: No, sorry, you're out!
  Iain: (Incredulous) Oh, but 'baliflu' was fine?!

Stuck in a Mammal Groove

• The "best apology for the worst crime" task:
  • All of the contestants are shown doing a bit of brainstorming except for Paul. Paul merely gets up, shuffles out of the caravan and into the house, all without saying a word.
  • Joe's very cheery ukelele song about Alex. His halfhearted apology includes admitting that he stands by his words, calling Alex a good bloke, and giving him a thumbs up.
    Joe, singing: Oh have you heard the good news? Alex Horne is finally dead. Now that Alex is dead, I feel like I can finally breathe. Alex's murder is evidence for the existence of God.
    Alex: Alex's murder?
    Joe, singing: If he was killed by a person, that person should be let off. And knighted. Fuck off, Alex.
  • Sian sent a photoshopped nude of Alex to Greg with a text ("Come to mumma"). As a follow-up, Greg mentioned this to Alex's wife, who confirmed it wasn't true because the man in the picture has a big penis and small testicles, while Alex is "quite the reverse".
  • Lou walks into the living room, smacks a water balloon on Alex's head, then gets down on her knees to apologize for... throwing flour on his car. While relatively innocuous, she then "apologises" by signing him up (using his actual phone number) with a variety of telesales (including an estate agent and the Church of Scientology).

Barrel Dad

• The prize task is the best present for a doctor:
  • Joe brings in a BMX for his prize task and when asked what the initials stand for, he claims that it stands for ‘Bicycle, My eXcellent Bicycle’.
  • Paul offers to help Greg with the scoring since he is a doctor. Paul immediately shoots down Iain’s prize and says that Joe’s BMX was his favourite. Iain can’t believe that Paul threw him under the bus only to give first place to someone other than himself and starts ranting about it. Greg decides to add fuel to the fire by placing both Iain and Paul in last place.
    Paul: We’re not all as dysfunctionally competitive as you, Iain.
• The team task is to put the most weight in a hammock without anything falling out. Lou gets her team disqualified by dropping a book. She absolutely insists that she caught the book despite the clip clearly showing otherwise. Greg says that he doesn’t need to make a decision as to whether Lou is lying; all they need to do is replay the clip and watch Lou’s eyes. They do so and show Lou looking like a complete deer in the headlights.
• The engage a toddler task.
  • Watching the very stoic Alex interact with a toddler.
  • Lou writes a song to go with her attempt.
    Lou: What rhymes with ‘duckie’?
    (Beat)
    Lou: (Laughing) Nope, not that!
• Lou is the last person to throw during the live task and has one try at landing her frying pan in her hula-hoop. She makes it.

Stay Humble

• Greg correctly guessing that the item in Alex’s pocket is another pocket.
• The prize task is for best face.
  • Lou brings in a photo of her and Greg’s hypothetical child. She states that she is willing to try for the real thing if she wins five points.
    Greg: (Laughing) Is that all it takes Lou?
    Lou: (Nodding enthusiastically)
  • Paul brings in a picture of his own face from when he was a lot heavier. This leads to the reveal that Greg’s mom asked Paul’s agent about Paul giving Greg some weight loss tips.
    Paul: (Upon seeing Joe’s blob-fish picture) That’s how your mom sees you, Greg.
• The task to get the most sand from bucket A to bucket B with three stipulations:
  Iain: ‘You may not touch the sand’, well I’ve done that. ‘You may not move the buckets’, done that. ‘You may not leave the room’, fuck it! Let’s do that as well! What a waste of everyone’s time, you IDIOT!
  • At the start of the task, Alex ties everyone's right hand to bucket A, so that if they move too far the sand is released. Lou is carrying a cup of tea in her other hand when she enters the room, and Alex refuses to take it, so she attempts to put it down on the ground while Alex is in the middle of tying his knot. This immediately releases the sand, and Alex's shrug is equal parts annoyance, disbelief, and helplessness.

Rock ‘n’ Roll Umlaut

• The team task to make an album cover.
  • Lou’s first suggestion is for her, Paul, and Iain to be naked. The men quickly shoot it down.
  • The entire studio segment discussing Sian and Joe’s album. Beginning with the fact that Sian and Joe’s band consists of an alive Joe and a dead Sian. Not even Greg and Alex can keep it together.
    Joe: (Singing) Mm, Get together! Mm, Mm, get together!
    Sian: (Singing) But it’s too big!
• The contestants need to memorize the order that a deck of cards are in:
  • Sian doesn’t realize that they are not typical playing cards until a fifteen of diamonds tips her off. This is after she already came across a playing card that said ‘happy birthday.’
  • Paul saying ‘happy birthday’ in the most serious tone possible.
  • Paul’s method for remembering one section of the cards (Jack, King, Nine, and Queen). He made up a story about flirting with a German man.
    Paul: Jacking? (German accent) Nein, Queen!
  • Lou doesn’t read the task properly at the start and screws herself over by scrambling around the cards.

This Is Trevor

• The task to find the pink ladies (apples) hidden under bowls placed on park benches without finding the green egg. If the contestants touch or move a bowl they must turn it over. There are five pink ladies, three oranges, and one green egg.
  • Iain gets all of the pink ladies but can’t resist when Alex asks Iain if he wants to showboat by now finding the remaining two oranges. He ends up turning over the green egg and gets disqualified.
  • Joe manages to find all five apples without any help from the clues but is hesitant to look up through the table slats like a pervert.
  • Sian goes all in with no strategy at all, finds all five pink ladies, and then moves the bowl with the green egg. Greg berates her for thinking that the name of the game is "Random Apple Guess." She then tells a story about how a clairvoyant whom she met said that she had a gift, to which Lou elicits an audible gasp of amazement.
• One of the challenges is to open several bags of crisps while wearing a costume with gloves or props that hamper the hands and to guess the (quite unusual) flavours.
  • One of the crisps is flavoured "vegan chocolate". Without knowing what it's flavoured with, every single contestant reacts to it like it's poison.
  • Every contestant’s strategy for picking a costume is to handicap their person as much as possible. Except for Iain who picks Joe’s boxer costume on the basis of wanting to see Joe’s chest.
• The task to do the most powerful thing with your pinky finger.
  • Lou’s attempt from the brainstorming to actual execution is bizarre all around as she ends up using her pinky to push a bowling ball into a bowl of water and plastic babies.
    Lou: What’s powerful? Creating life is powerful. I could take some sperm - (starts laughing).
    Alex: Want to finish that sentence?
  • When Greg judges Sian's guinea pig trick not to be powerful and awards her two points, she objects with a Big "WHAT?!" so high-pitched that it appears to have perforated Alex's ear drums.

I've Been A Bit Ill

• The task to create the "most delicious dust," which is judged during the recordings by Alex:
  • Both Sian and Paul injure themselves while grating sweets and cheese respectively, so there's a likelihood that their blood was mixed into their dust. It sparks this realisation:
    Sian: (addressing Alex in the studio) You've got mine and Paul's DNA inside you!
  • Lou uses Fizz Wiz popping candy and the objectification of women... as represented by the ashes from burnt porno magazines. In the studio, Alex describes this as the worst thing he has eaten across 8 series to date.
• The team task involves the contestants making themselves look like one person.
  • During the preparations, Joe asks Alex for some supplies, for which Alex says that he can obtain by shouting down the corridor (to off-camera crew). Joe then peeks out the living room door and shouts "Staple gun?!"
  • Joe and Sian essentially make a massive cloak held up by a long pole, with Joe walking in front and Sian crouched behind him. Lou, Paul, and Iain put bin bags over themselves and lay down on the floor to form their person, with Lou as the head, Paul as the arms, and Iain as the legs.
  • Then comes the second part of the task: while staying as a single person, the teams have to eat a banana, put on some wellies, and throw the banana skin into a bin by the caravan.
    Alex: At one point, Lou said to Paul "get up my ass and wriggle."

Clumpy Swayey Clumsy Man

• In the first task, the contestants are tasked with erasing an eraser. One of the first two shown, Joe spends over 19 minutes actually erasing the eraser. After the next 2, Paul and Iain, are shown to merely flush their eraser down the toilet, Joe, who's usually fairly calm and reserved, launches into a truly epic rant at how he spent ages following the tasks properly and doing a lot of physical labor, only for the others to find ways to cut corners, stretching the rules. Greg affords him 3 bonus points.
• The final task involves the contestants driving a mobility scooter around an obstacle course while blindfolded. They're each given ten minutes before the blindfolds go on to prepare for the task.
  • Paul manages to run over a camera before the blindfold goes on. After he's blindfolded, he decides to dismount the scooter at one point and then struggles to find it again. In the end, he parks the scooter by ramming into a bush and almost knocking into a cameraman.
  • Lou also decides to dismount the scooter at various points, and she gets even more lost on foot. Lou takes half an hour while everyone else is under ten minutes. When Alex is showing the paths that each contestant took, they’re all fairly quick and simple... until Lou’s: she just keeps going and going and going.
  • Sian's attempt is going well until she has to knock some bells off a traffic cone. She can't find the bells, so she gets off the scooter and starts to hit empty air in front of her. The bells are behind her.

Series 9

General

• Downplayed, but Rose almost always loses confidence in the middle of selling her prize task submissions to Greg. This climaxes in her final prize submission, as part of the celebrations for the Series 9 finale.
  Greg: Rose. Long and thin. Grand finale. Oooh.
  Rose: [Looking down and mumbling guiltily] I brought in a lasso made of strawberry laces.
  Greg: You what?
  Rose: I, uh, brought in a lasso made of strawberry laces.
  [A photo of said lasso is shown]
  Greg: [Uncontained disgust] Jesus Christ. Just once again, this is the grand finale.
  Rose: It's charming. It's whimsical. It's—
  Greg: It's the grand finale.
• Whenever Ed is up first in the studio tasks where they have to go in turns, he almost immediately screws it up, as he mentions before the bar slide one.
• David Baddiel. His general ineptitude at the tasks and sometimes downright bizarre thought processes firmly cemented his place as one of the biggest Butt Monkeys the show has had. It's even better when you know that he's usually known for being intelligent.

Join Our Cult

• When asked about her task outfit of a safety vest and a hard hat, Katy states that she wanted to be ‘fun, safe, and visible’.
• The ‘Hide Three Aubergines from Alex’ task:
  • Alex gives Ed a pat down and when he gets near Ed’s groin, Ed replies ‘that’s not an aubergine’.
  • Ed spends a good portion of the task teasing Alex for not being able to find the aubergines he's hidden, particularly when Alex keeps insisting there's not one in one area of the room but staying in that area.
  • Katy puts two of the aubergines in her hard hat and says that she’ll be gutted if Alex asks about her hard hat first thing. Alex almost immediately asks to see inside her hat.
  • David taped one of his aubergines to the portrait of Greg. Alex spots it quite quickly and points to it. The aubergine falls at the exact second Alex points at it.
    Alex: I've not pointed at anything since, just in case.
• The second task is to arrange ice lollies in rainbow order while wearing blackout goggles. They are allowed to take off the goggles by accusing one of the statues (arranged in a circle around the contestants) of being a dodo:
  • Before the task starts, David casually mentions that his mother used to refer to his penis as a dodo. The ensuing conversation it sparks in the studio is a highlight.
    Jo: My dad called my penis a dodo as well.
    Rose: I call all penises dodos 'cause they're rarely seen.
    Jo: I've seen loads! Do you mean generally, in your life or —?
    Rose: Yeah, it was a while before I saw one... [flustered] ROLL ANOTHER CLIP!
    Greg: And what did you call it when you saw it?
    Rose: A blessing.
  • David attempts to sniff the ice lollies in order to sense their colours.
  • David chucks an ice lolly in Alex's direction, splattering a camera in the process.
  • Despite being the only one to identify the dodo and work without the handicap, Ed somehow still manages to get some of the order wrong and only get three correct, the same as Rose.
• The stage task to draw the second longest snake. David gives a good indication of what his entire run on the show will be like by confusedly asking if they need to draw the second longest snake in the world.

Butter in the Microwave

• The prize is "the best bag":
  • It dawns on David that he fundamentally misunderstood the prize task category and brought in a bag of sour sweets. Greg then decides that Alex should consume five of the sweets, and promptly shoves them into his mouth.
  • Rose brings in a bag (emblazoned with the word "BEST") which she crocheted herself:
    Rose: Took me a while. Do you know how many social engagements I had to deny to make that bag?
    Greg: I don't...
    Rose: NONE! [mumbling] Cos I crochet.
• In the task to "find Alex among the 5 wheelie bins":
  • There is a task hidden underneath Bin #2. Rose moves Bin #2 away but completely misses the hidden task. David is the only other person to reveal the hidden task ("Alex is odd") and immediately deduces that Alex must be in an even-numbered bin— no wait, an odd-numbered bin. According to Ed, when the footage of Rose's attempt was shown to the audience, David whispered to him "I didn't know there was a task hidden under the bin."
  • David finds Alex clearly visibly with the leafblower sticking out of his wheelie bin but decides to use his last remaining commandment to strike that bin with the frying pan anyway.
• The Choose Your Own Adventure-style team task:
  • For the first team task of the series Alex points out it's the team of two versus the team of three because that is definitely fair and no one ever gets in touch to let Alex know that they think it isn't.
  • David and Jo take their sweet time doing the tasks, at one point sitting down to really enjoy the sandwich that they made and having a cup of tea. David also notes how annoyed he is that the ambient music in their VT is "silly old people music," to which Greg replies that an action score wouldn't have been appropriate.
  • One of the tasks is to whisper three words that begin with "d" and end with "g". This is wildly misinterpreted by Jo who chooses to sinisterly whisper "Guantanamo Bay" of all things.
  • The team of Ed, Katy, and Rose, who display a sense of urgency, end up having to restart twice at the bench due to failing a part of a task or grabbing the "wrong turn" task and end up completing the entire task in 24 passes (the Oldies completed the entire task in 9 passes), walking well over 600 metres and finishing in 29 minutes (in comparison, the Oldies took 36 minutes).

Five Miles Per Day

• The "create the most robust representation of a delicate thing" and the second parter:
  • During the creation of her leaf, Rose accidentally nails hers to the table.
  • Ed's VT is singled out and not shown until after it is revealed that the second part of the task is to score a goal with a roller with your sculpture as a goalie. It is then revealed his "delicate thing" is a clay statue of a baby... and yes, he does steamroll over it.
• In a task that requires the players to break something into the most pieces and then repair it, Ed pulls the grapes off a small set of plastic grapes and then attempts to reattach them with superglue...but, as Alex eventually hints, he doesn't prick the bottle open for quite a while. This leads to a quote which Greg references in his sign-off:
  Ed: I've been injecting grapes with NOTHING!

Quisps

• Greg's opening remarks include this gem:
  Greg: In just a few moments you will witness the trials and tribulations of five comedians, as they tackle tasks for me, Greg Davies. Or, as I'm also known in certain circles: (whipping around to look at the camera behind his shoulder) 22 Stone of Prime Marbled Beef! (turns back to main camera) But— (Corpsing)
• Ed's submission for the prize task is a confetti popper attached to the front of his underwear.
  Katy: How sensitive is it? Does it go off very easily?
  Ed: Once you get used to it and become more experienced, you can release it exactly when you want to. [...] Any follow-up questions, Greg?
  Greg: Nope. If you came onstage with that, I would be celebrating straight away.
• The first part of a task simply tells the contestants to say a letter of the alphabet.
  • Ed says "A letter of the alphabet", prompting Alex to pull out another task that reads "Ha ha ha. You must now pick a letter of the alphabet and say that letter out loud".
  • Alex reveals he did this only for Ed, accurately predicting that he would be the one to try and pull that trick.
  • David says "Q", causing the audience to audibly groan as David immediately realises that was a mistake. Then he reads the second part of the task, instructing him to find as many items beginning with that letter as he can in five minutes and place them on a tray. Cue him piling random items onto the tray while claiming he has a speech impediment causing him to pronounce everything as beginning with Q. Back in the studio, Alex reveals they had stocked the fridge with food beginning with Q. Greg does end up judging that "Qoffee" was a valid item.
  • In the studio, Katy encourages Alex to speak up when he's being bullied. He mouths "I'm being bullied" to her, to which he receives a cruel "I don't care, why are you telling me?"
• The studio task is full of hilarious moments:
  • David is confused by the task, which is to throw something far but not too far (beyond a line but not off the stage). Ed tries and fails to explain it.
    David: They applauded but I still didn't understand.
  • David also accidentally threw away the grain of rice that was one of the objects, believing it to be dirt.
  • Ed chooses the egg and lobs it, only to discover it's a rubber egg as it bounces off the stage. David (who also chose the egg) reacts gleefully.
    David: You thought you understood!
    Ed: Da-
    David: But you didn't!
    Ed: David, LOOK AT WHAT YOU'RE HOLDING!
    David: No! I've worked it out from your mistake.
  • When David's turn comes up, he tries to roll it against the pool noodle that Rose threw, only to watch it bounce off, roll behind the line, start to roll back over it, but not quite make it. He even starts jumping on the stage to get it to go beyond the line, to Alex's alarm.

Another Spoon

• The prize round for best defunct thing. "KEEP IT LIGHT!"
  • Rose's prize is a sharps bin with her flatmate's used syringes. Her flatmate is arthritic.
  • Greg reminisces on how his grandfather was able to crack walnuts bare and one-handed but otherwise was a very unpleasant man.
  • It culminates with David showing a picture of him and his pet cat Monkey, followed by a photo of Monkey's ashes.
• The first task is to lasso Alex. David, for some reason, decides that it would be easier to throw the lasso by attaching wooden spoons to it. It was later revealed on the Podcast that the lasso task was supposed to be a tie-breaker, but that David's attempt was so funny they decided to air it as a regular task.
• When Alex sums up the points for the lasso task, he just notes that it's "the usual" (pointing to David, as if it wasn't clear!), then Ed with 2 points...
• Greg offers up a bonus point to the competitor who can best replicate the stranger's party trick (making his tongue look very big). The results are quite fantastic.
• When the live task is finished, Ed, caught up in the heat of the moment, accuses Rose of cheating because she was still building her brick tower after the whistle had gone.
  Kerry: You had a full-blown tantrum—
  Ed: You're not even in this show!

Bready, Bready, Bready

• As with the previous episode, Katy is not in the studio. Unlike the previous episode, however, Alex reveals she isn't sick anymore, she just doesn't want to be there.^note In actuality, the studio segments are filmed in pairs so Katy missed that entire day.
  • Katy's replacement/advocate for this episode is Katherine Ryan, who says she's going to be Katy's Robert Kardashian.
    Greg: Beautiful, a man who got OJ Simpson off.
• The task is to push a watermelon up a slide and into the caravan using only breadsticks.
  • Greg emphasises the rule that only breadsticks can touch the melon and declares he'll be watching like a fat hawk, starting a Running Gag for the rest of the show.
  • David, Ed, and Rose's watermelons all fell onto the ground. David, in particular, struggles with returning the watermelon onto the slide and uses up all his breadsticks, and with no time left on the clock, he proceeds to use a croquet mallet to smash the watermelon to pieces. Back in the studio, Rose, who was previously shown to have used her hands to return the watermelon onto the slide, stands up on her chair and salutes David:
    Rose: Oh Captain, my Captain!
  • Rose very clearly picks her melon up with her hands to put back onto the slide. Greg, given his previous declaration, is unimpressed.
    Greg: Well, the end was fairly spectacular, up until that point, I can't imagine how anyone could do that worse.
    Rose: I was hoping your eyelids would be so fat the hawk wouldn't see.
    Greg: Oh the hawk was watching.
  • Greg makes his swift judgement that only Ed will receive points before giving a hawk-like caw.
• In the serenade yourself task:
  • Jo comes up with a wonderful and impressive rap about herself, which includes a lot of youthful slang that she must then define for Greg in the studio.
  • Katy asks for a harp initially. Back in the studio, Greg is sad Katy isn't there so he can ask if she plays the harp and Alex instantly responds that she cannot play the harp.
  • After Katy's VT, Greg asks Katherine to come up with a reason Katy kept a rose in her mouth the entire time. Katherine claims that it's a metaphor for the clumsiness of young love:
    Rose: Oh no, he loves metaphors!
    Everyone starts laughing
    Rose: You do!
    Greg: I do! Stretches his arms out like wings REEEEHHHH!
  • David writes his lyrics very quickly, claiming he doesn't like to think too much about these things and that he'll probably be fine since he's written four number 1's. David's is then by far the worst, not helped by his being the only one without musical accompaniment.
    Greg: Well, I don't think it's unkind for me to say, there's not likely to be a fifth Number 1.
  • Rose's song includes a guarantee that she won't impregnate herself.
• In the live task to slide drinks to Greg:
  • During the first round, David indignantly remarks that he is the only one not to receive any cheers when he steps up to the bar, after which everyone starts applauding wildly.
  • When David steps up for the second round, he gets a raucous round of applause and cheers, with Rose even going to her knees. David's response is a simple "Stop taking the piss".
  • David asks for Greg's order:
    Greg: [tentatively] Half a pint of vodka please...?
    David: Coming up, you fat hawk.
  • David actually fairs quite well and gets to the final two... until he flings his wine glass off the bar.
    Greg: Snatching defeat from the jaws of victory!

A Cuddle

• The prize task is the best item stolen from somebody else's house:
  • Katy's prize entry is the Taskmaster trophy, the image of which is shown first on the screen, and then she slowly reveals how she acquired it:
    Greg: It's not this one. [[taps the trophy that is next to him]
    Katy: No. Does the name "Kerry Godliman" ring a bell?
    Greg: Yes.
    Katy: She keeps it in the shittiest room in the whole house. [a photo of Kerry's garage pops up] I don't know if you can see it. [Kerry's trophy is shown lying on its side on a shelf, surrounded by other bits of junk]
    Greg: Oh, my God! That is an OUTRAGE, Godliman!
    Katy: I went 'round pretending that I needed to borrow the cat box. I don't have a cat, but she didn't ask or seem to care. I snuck it inside the cat box and I managed to basically sneak it out without her noticing.
    Greg: So Godliman doesn't even know it's missing.
    Katy: No.
    Ed: But it looks like she wouldn't give a shit.
  • Rose brings in a pink cowboy hat from the Taskmaster House which she has decorated with photos of herself wearing the hat:
    Rose: [unenthusiastically] ... which I think is quite cool and makes it the best thing taken from someone else's house. Yeehaw. [Facepalm]
• The final recorded task is to find as many gold rings in the lab and put them on a drumstick with your hands clasped together.
  • David inexplicably tries to flip the task over with his mouth when all the others are able to do this easily by slipping the task between their fingers. In his actual attempt, he hovers with his backside over the drumstick and attempts to hope for the ring on his back to catch onto the drumstick.
  • Jo and Katy notice that one of the gold rings is on Alex's finger and they both use their mouths to take the ring.
• Jo absolutely smashes the live task for the episode ("Horse or Laminator?"). At one point, all the other contestants gather around Greg and place their hands on his head to prevent Jo from reading his mind correctly. It doesn't work, and she guessed correctly again.
• Greg's closing remarks for the episode:
  Greg: So what have we learnt today? We've learnt to beware of Little Alex Horne when he comes looking for a cuddle. He doesn't want a cuddle at all! The filthy little ferret is just trying to get you to suck his finger!

Shaqinahat

• During the prize task round ("best thing from your shed"), the cast has a field day making fun of Rose's pronunciation of the word "shed." Rose gives as good as she gets by condescendingly saying “shed” in an English accent while also making a mocking face that includes crossed eyes. After the initial laughter dies down, Alex is still laughing:
  Rose: Alex, don't you start!
  Alex: It's funny when she says it.
• From the pedal bin task:
  • Katy's attempt mostly consists of throwing balls into Alex's crotch. Then throwing a brick.
  • After Ed's attempt is shown, in which he shouted at Alex several times and tried to get him to hurry up, David notes that Ed's desperation to win is coming out. Ed counters by saying it's dedication. Katy also compliments Ed's attempt as being rather sexy and quite butch. Then Rose tries to argue against Ed's attempt:
    Rose: What is a bin lid?
    Ed: I know about bins. In England, in our sheds, we have posters of all different types of bins...
    Rose: (laughing) You've got fire in your eyes.
    David: Desperation.
    Ed: DEDICATION, DAVID!
    Katy: It's too butch now.
• The 'create the best lyrics to the Taskmaster theme' task:
  • David's Captain Obvious lyrics, which, once heard, will never leave your head:
    Taskmaster's on
    It is on now
    Taskmaster's on
    It is not How
    (The programme from the 1970s with Fred Dinage)
    Taskmaster's on
    Sit yourself down
    On your sofa
    Right there in your own town!
  • Katy's lyrics are... idiosyncratic:
    Greg is so wise, and very tall
    Alex is fine, not quite as tall
    Will there be eggs? I like tasks with eggs!
    This is the song that plays at the start
    Goodlucktoallthepeopletakingpartintaskstoday!
  • Jo just straight out insults Greg in hers:
    Alex is great, Greg's just a twat!
    Alex is thin, Greg's really fat!
    Alex goes whoo!, Greg just goes splat
    If I don't win, you're toast!
  • Ed does his in-character as a crying baby, complete with Alex appearing as his mum at the end:
    Where is my mum? Where has she gone?
    Wah wah wah wah, I'm a big baby
    Please hurry mum, I feel sad
    I need my milk, I've soiled myself!
    Oh thank god here comes my mum!
    Alex emerges from the caravan in a blonde wig and red lipstick and kisses Ed on the cheek
    Mum!
• After the team task is shown (in which they have to supply the sounds for a silent short film), David and Rose provide contrasting screaming noises for Alex.

Don't Like Them Go Bang

• The Taskmaster's introduction, nine episodes into established routine:

  Greg: Sitting to my right are a team of battle-scarred competitors, who have been slogging through task after task. They've had their ups and their downs, and they've discovered that, for every failure, there's a success just around the corner. Also, David Baddiel is here.

• All of the deliveries of the secret set of instructions to Alex, delivered in the most spy-like manner:
  • David appropriates the van and creates a character of a courier called "David Bloke" who is the opposite of him in every way imaginable. At one point, he realises that he became so immersed in creating the character that he forgot to create a set of secret instructions.
  • Ed asks a crew member to dress conspicuously as a decoy to deliver a decoy message. Ed then runs across the open garden and throws the instructions at Alex, then runs away while the decoy also delivers a blank.
  • Ed's direction to Alex is "Stand up and shout loud". Alex stood up, and shouted the word "loud".
  • Rose hides under a large false rock and slowly walks towards Alex.
    Rose: But it was very hard to crouch under a rock when you're not good in the head.
• When it is revealed that Jo is disqualified for not popping all of her balloons in the 10 minutes, the audience groans with sympathy, to whom Jo shouts "Fuck off!"
• The live task ("standing in a queue, draw the most accurate pictures without any communication other than passing the drawing on the back of the person in front of you").
  • The five contestants are split into two teams consisting of David and Ed on one team and Jo, Katy, and Rose on the other.
    Ed: (in a This Is Gonna Suck tone) So, can I just check, have I been put on a team with David Baddiel?
    David: (smirks at the camera)
    [...]
    Greg: The thinking is, there's a team of three there who'll have to pass one drawing across two backs, but to make it fair, you're with David Baddiel.
  • During the first drawing, David initially hampers their progress by holding Ed's finger. When Ed sees what David's drawn, his first reaction is "WHAT THE LIVING FUCK HAVE YOU DONE?!" An understandable reaction, given that they were supposed to draw a horse, and ended up with a drawing of a person's face.
    David: It didn't occur to me that it wouldn't be a person.
    Ed: (desperate) Did you hear that?! He just said "it didn't occur to me that it wouldn't be a person".
  • The second drawing doesn't fare much better.
    Ed: (Sarcastically) Sorry, we cheated a bit: the communication really helped.
  • In the final round, just as the whistle goes off, Ed catches sight of David's drawing and his jaw drops to the floor. David's guess is that the drawing was a cubist man's genitals — it was meant to be three aubergines.

Think About the Spirit

• Do something preposterous with this chickpea:
  • David's first two ideas for the chickpea are to balance it on his cock and to shove it up his arse. His actual attempt sees him staging a "Chickp-ivity", which involves travelling to a nearby shop to buy an additional can of chickpeas.
    Greg: What fascinates me is what that must have looked like from the perspective of the man who owned that shop. The man who sang "Three Lions" came into his shop with a camera crew. He bought some of his chickpeas, he threw them on the pavement outside, and then he left.
  • Ed Gamble films a love story between himself and the chickpea, which culminates in Ed having an orgy with many different chickpeas in the form of hummus.
  • Greg is baffled by Katy's attempt (in which she slices the chickpea into thin bits and sticks them on her fingernails) and challenges her on whether it meets the definition of "preposterous."
    Katy: What was the definition again?
    Alex: Absurd.
    Greg: Balance it on your dick, stick it up your arse.
    Katy: [flashing her fingernails] These are my dicks, and I balanced them on them.
• The team task is to create the best cup of tea in 10 minutes, the catch being that the tea set and implements are completely locked to the table:
  • Jo, knowing fully well that the clock is ticking, decides to use the toilet in the middle of the task and returns with a toilet roll.
  • Ed swills the milk in his mouth and spits it back into the cup. Alex's reaction to the young'uns' tea says it all.
    David: Alex, did it taste a bit hummus-y?
  • The group of three also apparently spent 5 of the 10 minutes checking a variety of places for a key, such as the sugar, the milk, and Alex's person, which includes Ed forcing Alex to take his shoes off.
    Ed: You're tricksy! You would put a key in milk.
    Alex (sounding offended) I would not put a key in milk thank you! Who would put a key in milk?
• From the group of 7 tasks:
  • Rose gets a very fortunate order and completes (most of) the tasks without too much trouble. Ed and Katy in particular have looks of incredulity at her luck.
    Ed: Were you just thinking "why have they saved this boring task for the end of the series?" Because fuck me, strap in mate.
  • One of the mini-tasks is to place one's hand on one's hips until all 7 tasks are completed. David does not know where his hips are and calls his brother Ivor (who contributed to one of David's prizes and who has had a recent hip replacement) to help identify where his hips are located.
    Ivor: [on speakerphone] It kind of runs down by your testicles.
    David: By your testicles?! What? [David places his hands over his groin] Here?
  • By the second mini-task, Ed is already showing signs of annoyance when Alex points out he doesn't have many pins to aim for, having put some of them in the wheelbarrow. Once he's finished though, the rage is palpable.
    Alex: Thank you Ed.
    Ed: Go fuck yourself.
  • Alex explains why he didn't get Jo to restart:
    Alex: Strictly speaking, she probably should have [started again], I... didn't tell her to because of the scenario.
    Greg: What, the scenario being that you're frightened of her?
    Alex: Well, she'd threatened to have a stroke just before that.
    Jo: Phew!
  • When it comes out that Ed was the only one to properly complete it, Greg says that in times like these he needs to think about the spirit of the task. This sends Ed into an epic rant during which he effortlessly kills a fly that has been buzzing around. During said rant Ed says that Greg knows full well that the show is not about the spirit and points to Greg’s current face as evidence. Cut to Greg smirking at the camera and wiggling his eyebrows in smug glee at having gotten Ed to this point of genuine anger.

Series 10

In General

• All of Daisy's prize task entries being incredibly underwhelming and mundane, to the point that Greg just replies with a curt "yep" in later episodes.
• The chemistry in the filmed tasks between Alex and Katherine, especially Katherine continually saying 'we' as if both of them are completing the task together.

God's Haemorrhoid

• The task to get the pints from the phone box to the caravan without spilling a drop, or walking on the grass, while clutching a teddy bear at all times.
  • Katherine's 'tippy-toe running'.
  • After reading the task Johnny gleefully pokes his head out of the phone box and exclaims that “Teddy and me are going on a bender!”.
  • Daisy fails almost as soon as she starts. She leaves the phone box to look for items in the shed. In the process, she leaves the phone box door to slowly close on a tray holding one of the pints. It topples just before she can make it back.
    Daisy: Ooh, a bathmat!
  • When trying to transport the teddy bear without stepping on the grass, Mawaan becomes fixated on the balls scattered on the grass saying that they must be the answer. Even in the studio, Mawaan maintains that the balls must have been there for a reason. Alex tells him that of course they were there for a reason: Mawaan threw the balls during the first part of the task.
  • Mawaan’s initial thought is to try and move the phone box.
• Daisy making a cow 'vanish' by shoving it into a hedge.
• The entire task to transport eggs from a balcony to a frying pan without throwing them is a symphony of failure.
  • However Mawaan stands out by trying to inflate an egg with helium, which predictably explodes. Greg is incredulous that a grown man would think that would work and predicts this early lunacy would define Series 10.
  • This NSFW outtake from the transport-an-egg task, which completely derails proceedings as Greg starts riffing on the unfortunate imagery of Katherine's attempt.

A Documentary About A Despot

• The first task is also the first team task of the series:
  • Daisy is in the lab when Richard quietly enters the room, and Daisy instantly jumps back and yells "oh god" when she sees him. This gets lampshaded in the studio:
    Greg: Richard Herring, walking into a room, causes a woman to shout, "oh god!"
  • Johnny isn't really needed for the team task, so he gets his own task that puts him on top of an umpire's chair and has him make different, and gradually louder, noises for ten seconds every minute for 20 minutes. He makes several different noises, but the standout is him starting out by quoting Richard Nixon:
    Johnny: I am not a crook! I am not a crook! I am not a crook!
    Katherine: Is that part of the task?
    Mawaan: No, I think that’s just Johnny?
  • Part of the team task involves retrieving the caravan key from within a large candle. A blowtorch has been provided for assistance. Mawaan and Katherine both take turns using the blowtorch on the candle, and Greg (through much stifled laughter) draws a distinction between their reactions to the candle and the key:
    Mawaan: That's some next-level shit!
    Katherine: I've never used a blowtorch before. I've always wanted to use it on baked Alaska.
• The final task involves the contestants getting five yoga balls into five hula hoops at the other end, while they are steering a dinghy on wheels.
  • One of the rules of the task is that the contestants aren't allowed to move the hoops. Mawaan completely forgets this and ends up picking the hoops off the floor to throw over the balls. The ending of the clip shows him walking out of the room, with the sound of his voice reading out the rules edited on top.
    [A loop plays in an echoey voice, as Mawaan walks off triumphantly towards the doors] You may not move the hoops...
    Mawaan: [normal voice, removing his helmet as he addresses the camera crew] He's back.
    Greg: [Back in the studio] He's not back, is he?
    Alex: I don't think he's back, he's still away.
    Mawaan: Shit... Why didn't you say [that Mawaan broke the rules]?
    Alex: Well, 'cause you said it—
    Mawaan: Yeah, but why didn't you remind me?
    Alex: That's not my job.
    Greg: You said it at the top.
    Alex: And then you kept murmuring it in your head as you walked off.
    Greg: Oh, the arrogance of youth.
  • From the same task, Johnny trying to propel himself by standing up, thrusting his hips, and flapping the oars like wings.

Point of Swivel

• The first recorded task is to create the best "upside-down" film short.
  • Before anything happens, The Taskmaster takes light umbrage with a Vegas error.
    Greg: Whenever I want to get myself into a party mood, I go over to my music centre, and I pop on Lionel Richie's classic dance track Walking on the Ceiling. Imagine Lionel Richie watching this going, 'Is this my legacy? Walking on the fucking ceiling?! Do you know how many hours I put into expressing myself into my music?!
    Johnny: It was the B-Side!
    Greg: What a feeling!
    Alex: (Overlapping) When you walk on the ceiling?
    Greg: (Overlapping) When I'm having a little walk around the ceiling?!
  • Daisy creates an upside-down background and suspended chickens upside-down to animate a stop-motion film. However, the camera is also upside-down, so the final product is right-side up. She also provides a "haunting" soundtrack with her own vocals. Made even funnier by the reactions of her fellow competitors: Richard is reduced to laughing into his hands, Johnny has gone red in the face trying (and failing) to stifle his laughter, and Katherine is wiping away tears.
  • After Mawaan's video, in which he plays a bat, Katherine asks him how he managed to stay upside-down for so long; cue disbelief from the other contestants as they realise Katherine thought Mawaan genuinely was upside-down.
    Alex: Katherine, did you think he was actually upside-down?
    Katherine: (Tentatively) … no.
• In the foot-launched-catapult task:
  • Johnny Vegas makes a personal-injury-lawyer joke while standing on a rickety ladder, only for the ladder to promptly break from under him.
  • Katherine's various attempts all fall apart. However, she remains so earnest in her belief that they'll work that the normally stoic Alex is visibly corpsing and trying to hide his reaction from the camera.
    Katherine: It's a shame that my hands aren't my feet.
• Katherine yelling 'BOX!' repeatedly while trying to guess what Johnny is drawing in the live task.

Toshwash

• The first task is to make a phone ring by solving a puzzle to get all the digits:
  • Johnny completely falling apart while trying to solve a puzzle to make a phone ring.
  • A blooper from this task reveals that upon seeing the chickens one contestant did ‘a terrified trump’. In a rare moment of softness, Greg says that the moment isn’t meant to humiliate anyone and the clip will only be shown if everyone agrees to it. Katherine immediately outs herself by being the only one to protest the showing. She eventually concedes and the clip confirms that Katherine is indeed the culprit but given how the clip was edited one could reasonably think that Mawaan was the trumper. However, Katherine then inexplicably decides to dig herself deeper by asking to see the clip again. The team replays it with the volume enhanced leaving no doubt that it was Katherine. She reacts by covering her face with her hands while shaking her head as Greg tries to reassure her (as convincingly as he can since he’s laughing the whole time) that he would have had the same reaction.
    Katherine: No! Okay, no! I- (covers her face).
    Greg: Hey, it was scary! Katherine, it was scary! I’d have had a little trump! (To Alex) Would you?
    Alex: (Also laughing) Oh, yeah. Yeah!
• The team task involves the contestants each putting an item inside their bag without their teammates finding out, and then they have to convince a security guard to look inside their bag in 10-second intervals starting with the tallest individual. Of Richard and Daisy's team, Daisy started because she is taller (at 5'8.5") than Richard, who claimed to be 5'8". Richard Herring tells the security guard that the content of his bag involves nudity, so Daisy argues that the guard would look like a pervert if he chose Richard's bag. She also makes a point that the guard is married, so his wife wouldn't be impressed. Then, as the team are leaving, Daisy kisses his hand and cheek, and says goodbye to him in an endearing manner.
  Greg: Initially, [Daisy] suggested that Richard's disgusting for offering up lascivious goods—
  Daisy: Well no, first of all, I find it disgusting that he thinks he's 5'8".
• The task is to drop a water balloon from the greatest height (the balloon would fall from a winch) without popping it:
  • Katherine sees the platform on the winch and asks if it is a stretcher (as in the device used to stretch out one's limbs).
  • Daisy tried to describe her method for dropping a water balloon from a great height without breaking it similar to a high-diving act. She apparently believes that high-diving acts are only practiced in the American South. Greg is so certain high-diving acts don't exist at all that he chooses to make fun of her description of them in the episode's sign-off joke.

I hate your trainers

• The task is to bag the heaviest thing using a Christmas tree bagging machine. Katherine Parkinson decides to bag herself, and wins the task.
• For the team task, the contestants have to eat watermelon with the caveat that they can't feed themselves.
  • Richard and Daisy shot theirs before social-distancing rules were in place, so Richard smashes open the melon (like Tim Key did in Series One) and the two proceed to feed each other. What follows is a highly uncomfortable sequence as they enthusiastically start slobbering and gobbling the watermelon, with Daisy being particularly enthusiastic.
  • Katherine, Johnny, and Mawaan had to maintain social distancing while shooting theirs, so they had to awkwardly feed each other using long grabbers, with more melon ending up on the ground than in their mouths. They have to stop only when Johnny makes things awkward by saying "I want Daddy's watermelon."
• The live task is to list off unique three, four, and then five-letter words with no more than a 2-second gap in between each word. Daisy's approach is to rattle off as many swear words as possible, including one that's still censored in the post-watershed airing.

Hippopotamus

• The entire 'silent cocktail' task:
  • Everyone has to yell a different phrase every time they make a sound over 60db - particularly good are Daisy's ('I love this!') and Richard's ('Failure!'), which, considering they both mess up quite a few times, are yelled quite often.
  • Daisy making other noises to get her frustration out.
  • Katherine submitting a glass of milk as her final entry.
  • Mawaan asks for a coat from one of the production team, to muffle the sound of him shaking his drink. Unfortunately for him, the coat still has keys in the pocket, which make a very loud sound.
  • Amazingly, Mawaan then turns things around - he realises that he can use the contents that were dumped into the bucket, and slowly pours them into the glass while giving Alex the most evil-looking grin. To top it all off, he adds a beer bottle cap as a garnish and names his drink "Bin Juice."
• The task is to draw the animal that is watching them through a two-way mirror:
  • Johnny interpreting himself as the 'animal' that he has to draw.
  • Katherine decides that since no animal is immediately apparent, she is going to draw a rat since there were probably some of them hiding about (the task took place in what appears to be an old warehouse). After her time is up, Katherine walks out of the room and off-camera as her mic picks up her questioning if there was truly an animal in the room and then telling herself that there was no animal.
• During one task, the contestants have to transport water from one barrel to another. While they do this, Alex secretly uncovers a hole in the bottom of the first barrel, draining the water out. The contestants' reactions to this, as well as the fact that Alex is clearly far too pleased with himself, are hilarious.
• The live task is a team task where one member has to take turns drawing a specific animal using only three straight lines each turn while the other team members guess the animal. Daisy becomes visibly and increasingly irate with Richard when he keeps guessing incorrectly. After the other team wins that round, Daisy then lays it into him on how he couldn't recognize her hippo as if it were incredibly obvious. However, after the next round (which they also lose), Daisy concedes that his kangaroo was much more recognisable.

Legit Glass

• The team task requires one team member to figure out the item in a safe (a red sequinned pillow with a picture of Greg and an alpaca) and then relay that information to their teammates via a tape recorder message. The catch being that their message will be played backwards.
  • Mawaan actually doesn’t fare too badly getting Johnny and Katherine to guess that the safe contains something to do with Greg and a lamb. In contrast, Richard decides to make a message consisting of speaking normally, speaking backwards, and breaking words down into their syllables with a ‘shkk’ sound in between each syllable.
    Alex: Yeah, you didn't really have a lot of consistency.
    Richard: Well I didn’t really know cause I've never spoken backwards.
    Daisy: No one’s ever spoken fucking backwards, Richard! (Laughing) For fuck’s sake!
  • Daisy starts off by confidently stating that her experience with ghost recordings will give her an edge. The second she hears Richard’s attempt at a message all she can do is look dumbfounded and say "Huh?". The task only gets worse from there.
    Greg: You got "N-O. N-O." And "milkies".
  • Her attempt culminates with Daisy questioning the decision to pair her with Richard, and asking Alex "Why couldn’t you have put me with Katherine Parkinson?" Made even funnier by the fact that all of the clips are filmed before the in-studio segments and given her performance up until now, it’s highly doubtful that Daisy would have been better off with Katherine.
• In the marble run task, just before Daisy releases her marble, she kisses it for good luck. She then presents it to Alex, who licks the marble. When questioned about it in the studio, Alex claims that he misunderstood Daisy and that the normal thing to do is to lick things for good luck.

Moments of Silence

• The first task involves the contestants making a cup on top of a long, bendy pole overflow with water.
  • The pole is in the middle of a red green, which only liquid may touch; if anything else touches it, then the contestant is disqualified. The result? Everyone is disqualified. Greg is so unimpressed that he tells everyone to sit in silence and reflect on what they've done. When Alex gives an update on the scores, everybody's pictures on the scoreboard shuffle around on the screen wildly before returning to the original positions.
  • Greg struggling to understand why Mawaan thinks he could fill the cup in a "metaphorical way".
    Greg: How does the cup overflow in a metaphorical way?
    Mawaan: Like, you've got a lot on in your life.
    Greg: Because I'm busy?
    Mawaan: Yeah...
    Greg: Ok. And how are you going to apply that to that cup?
  • Johnny takes another tumble and he didn't even trip over anything!
  • Katherine attempts to fill a net with water and it takes her all of half a minute to realise that the water is flowing out through the mesh.
  • Mawaan grasses up on Daisy. He draws attention to Daisy dropping the task envelope on the red green— not that it helps him since everyone gets disqualified in this round.
    Mawaan: (sheepishly) I love making friends.
    Greg: Did you see how she reacted to the hippo drawing?
    Mawaan: Yeah, I'm terrified, but I—
    Greg: Yeah, she's going to fuck you up, mate.
• The second task is an acting task where everyone is given two parts (or, in Richard's case, all five parts) to memorize and act out.
  • One of Richard's characters is Parker, who watches on silently in the background. The facial expressions he makes really sells the part.
  • Up to eleven in the Richard Herring version of the play in which he plays all parts. Seeing him playing against himself, his voice getting increasingly tighter with each part is hilarious enough - but his best role is still Parker.
  • Also, in the second version of the play, Katherine Parkinson ad-libbing almost every single one of her lines.
• Katherine wins the coconut water extraction task by opening the fridge.

Air Horn Andy

• The title of the episode: Alex greets the contestants for one task with an air horn, and Greg mocks him for it, calling him 'Air Horn Andy'. It is then pointed out that Alex's name begins with an A anyway, so Greg could have called him 'Air Horn Alex'. Greg doesn't care.
• All the beermat houses:
  • Greg's annoyance at Alex's architectural mock-ups not looking anything like the real creations, and Johnny's falling over.
  • Mawaan creates a lighthouse out of the beermats and sticks a rotating light on top. In the studio, Katherine praises it as a "lovely windmill."
  • Johnny tries to get sympathy points off of Greg by stating that if he scores badly on this task, his 17-year-old son will never speak to him again. Without hesitation, Greg gives a heartless response of "so be it."
• Katherine in the 'count the balls' task. All the balls have to be in the basket once the time is up. With about one minute left on the clock, Katherine inexplicably starts pouring the balls out of the basket, which not only makes them more difficult to count but also effectively disqualifies her from the task.
• During the live task, when Mawaan asks Katherine what a tusk is, she immediately tells him to fuck off. Contrast that with the very first live task for the series, in which Katherine offers up balls to help out the other contestants.

Dog Meat Trifle

• The prize task is for the best collection.
  • Katherine brings in a series of homemade masks that she had been compelled to make over a span of the previous six months. They have fun poked at them throughout the segment.
  • Johnny brings in a collection of pub signs. Greg compliments them and, with a pointed look at Katherine, asks Johnny if he had ever considered interspersing the signs with some homemade art. Katherine just looks at Greg with the unamused expression of an overly strict teacher while subtly shaking her head. Greg attempts to stifle his laughter but in no way succeeds.
    Johnny: Yes, I have considered some masks.
  • Daisy brings in some of her previously mentioned ghost recordings. She tries to describe them as ‘supernatural phenomena’ but stumbles on the word ‘phenomena’ until even she is laughing at her attempts at getting it right.
• Katherine again, this time in the 'put the wellies on the spider' task. She fails to realise that she can leave the room, spends some time looking for the 'spider' (briefly considering that she might be the spider, but then coming to the conclusion that she can't be because she doesn't have eight legs), and finally inexplicably interprets the table on which the wellies are resting as the 'spider' (as it has eight legs). This leads to an in-studio debate as to what constitutes a ‘spider’.
  Greg: What is a spider?
  Daisy: A spider. Not table legs.
  Katherine: Well, it isn’t a massive stuffed animal either.
  Mawaan: (holding his chair upside down) Look: a cat! It’s a cat!
• All the contestants brutally mistreating Bernard the mannequin, especially Daisy and Johnny, both of whom smash his head open. Katherine decides to smell Bernard’s underwear.
  Greg: (Genuinely bewildered) Did you smell his pants?
  Katherine: ... I think I did, yeah.
• The final team task of the series is to sing karaoke. Richard and Daisy decide to invoke a lot of trust exercises in their choreography. This leads to Richard suggesting that he could use the horse saddle to ride Daisy, or vice versa.
• Daisy's realization that Richard scored just enough to win the series prompts a Rage Quit for the ages. She mauls a grapefruit, tosses coconuts, stuffs her mouth full of Polos before spitting them back out, and spends the rest of the time glaring at everyone.

Champion of Champions II

The Alpine Darling

• The opening titles are interspersed with the champions completing a task - to do five things while looking the most champion-like. Most of them accomplish this by acting out incredible feats. Richard Herring, however, marches through a corridor, gets trapped in the caravan filled to the brim with balloons, and goes to the loo.
• Liza has an inexplicable beard as a part of her task outfit. Despite the initial shock, most of the cast agree it weirdly suits her.
• The fact that Kerry kept her Taskmaster trophy in her garage is mentioned multiple times in the episode.
• The prize task is to bring in something that will make you go 'Wow, that is the greatest thing.' Kerry brings a play script, the first lines of which are 'INT - STUDIO. GREG: Wow.' Greg's unamused glare after this is hilarious.
  • Also from Kerry's play: Ed constantly having to repeat 'Is it?' and the play ending with Kerry's signature 'Bosh'.
  • Lou follows Kerry's play up with... a heart in a jar.
    Greg: [Thoroughly underwhelmed] Looks like we're, uh, back on track.
    Lou: That is a thing that makes people go wow. One because of the visuals, but two, because you can't live without love. I was supposed to learn some really good facts about the heart, but, um...
    Greg: Couldn't be bothered?
    Lou: Forgot.
    Greg: Last place.
  • When, as predicted, she does get last place, it turns out Lou appears to have learned to Know When to Fold 'Em since her last appearances on the show:
    Greg: It's straightforward to give Lou one point.
    Lou: Yeah, no, actually, I agree.
  • Ed's submission — his Taskmaster trophy, after having sent it into space — is more 'awesome' than funny (though there is a chuckle when the head makes a graceful landing when finally reaching Earth again... only to then fall on its side). What is funny is that Richard, being the last contestant in the round, somehow has to follow it up^note though in total fairness, unlike Lou he does manage to hold his own with his prize — an all-expenses paid trip to the ruins of Pompeii:
    Greg: Wow. Herring is shitting himself.
• Pretty much all of the 'eat this grape in the most elaborate way' task:
  • Kerry in the opening VT for the grape task compares the cloche to a boob. The clip then cuts to Richard asking if he should "pick up the breast".
  • Liza has Alex dress up as a sailor and pedal-power a pulley to deliver the grape to her.
  • Lou dresses Alex up as a cherub and has him lower the grape down to her in the bath.
  • Ed dresses up as a police dog who digs up and eats a grape used as a murder weapon. Ed goes into a bit more detail about the backstory in the studio:
    Ed: He takes the opportunity to enjoy a lovely grape on his last day, and damages the case.
    Alex: And his kidney, they are toxic to dogs.
    Ed: Yes, that's why it's his last day.
  • Richard goes all-in on making a fake wine advert for 'Pinot Gregio', made at the 'Taskmastaire' vineyard. This includes a shot of his feet stepping on the grape, which Greg promptly makes fun of.
  • Kerry's grape delivery features a cameo from James Acaster, delivering the grape. After Greg questions his role in the grape delivery, Kerry says James is her 'grape gimp'.
• Lou is wearing rollerskates throughout the painting task, because according to her, if she wears them on television, they are tax deductible.
  • Liza tells Alex she won't make him get his arse out because she's already made him do that before. Cut to Kerry making Alex get his arse out. Apparently, Kerry did it because she thought it was Alex's brand to get his arse out.
  • Kerry's frustration throughout this task at Greg's dismissal of her effort as hideous rather than wonderful. Her subsequent attempts to piss over everyone else's submissions (excluding Liza's, because not even she could get away with that) are soundly shot down by the others, who clearly side with Greg.
    Greg: Ease down, mate. You might have squeaked above [Richard's] pile of shit, but pipe down.
  • Though Kerry does get a good jab in at Liza when the latter expresses some dissatisfaction with the (excellent) trees on her artwork:
    Liza: I was a bit gutted that the trees didn't come out better, but...
    Kerry: Oh, that's like when someone smashes an exam, isn't it? [mimicking] "Oh, I didn't get an A, didn't get an A..."
    Greg: There was someone in every year, wasn't there? "Oh, mine's shit."
    Kerry: Yeah. "I didn't revise!" [points to Liza's painting, sits back sulkily]
• Ed has one of the all-time Taskmaster breakdowns during the 'get this rubber duck in the pond' task, deciding to try and link up a stream of water down some pipes, and then refusing to back down from that strategy despite clear evidence that it won't work. He becomes gradually angrier and angrier until after 97 minutes he snaps, beheads and buries the rubber duck, and quits the task. In the studio, he explains that this was why he was so willing to later dress up as a dog for the grape task.
• The live task is to pack either five bricks or five balloons into a case, and have Greg guess which one they've packed.
  • While they are preparing their cases, a loud popping noise comes from Ed's side of the room, which sends Greg into hysterical laughter.
  • Lou trying to save her chances of being Champion of Champions:
    Greg: I think you've packed balloons.
    Lou (her face falling): ...guess again?
  • All the contestants ham it up while bringing their cases to the judging circle. Kerry does a superb bit of clowning, acting like her case weighs a tonne and she can barely push it across the stage. Ed pretends to be a southern belle, packed for her trip to Pompeii. Liza extends her case's handle and wheels it across while narrating.
    Liza: Oh, it's an interesting old lady! Ooh, what's in there, Gregory? Hello!

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