- Grandmother Fa taking Cri-Kee for a walk in a test of luck. Her appearance causes the traffic to end up in a road accident disaster, while she remains unscratched.
Grandmother Fa: Yup, this cricket's a lucky one!
Cri-Kee, shaking, promptly faints with fright inside his cage
- The entire sequence of Mulan first visit to an actual Chinese army camp, with special mentions below.
(Yao punches unnamed soldier in the tattooed spot.)
Ling: AH-HA-HA-HA-HA! I hope you can get your money back!
- And shortly after...
Mushu (to Mulan): Punch [Yao]. It's how men say hello.
(Mulan punches Yao, overdoing it, sending him flying over to Chien-Po. Yao is brought to a dizzying swoon.)
Mushu: Now, slap him on the behind. They like that!
(Mulan does as told.)
(Chien-Po carries Yao again.)
Chien-Po: Yao, relax and chant with me.
Yao: (stiffening up in red-beet rage) Grrrr!
(Chien-Po proceeds to swing him softly left and right as if he were a teddy bear)
Chien-Po: Feel better...?
Yao: Yeah. (to Mulan) Eh, you ain't worth my time, chicken boy.
(Mulan walks off but Mushu is insulted.)
: CHICKEN BOY?! SAY THAT TO MY FACE, YOU LIMP NOODLE!
(A camp brawl ensues.)
- And when Chien-Po eventually bumps the queue in the aforementioned camp brawl, sending the soldiers collapsing a-la Bookshelf Dominoes.
- This is, of course, followed by a newly appointed Shang excited that he'll potentially be leading the "greatest troops of all time". He opens the tent door to find the exact opposite of what he was expecting.
- And then when Shang first sees the brawl, and Chien-Po is just randomly eating a bowl of rice while all the fighting happens around him.
- The fish that Ling is swinging around towards the end is pretty funny for its sheer randomness. Then there's the fact that Mulan, who started the brawl, is cowering in the middle of the group, and everyone seems to have forgotten about her until Shang comes out.
The soliders en masse
: (pointing at Mulan) He
- Mulan's first confrontation with Shang, where it turns out she hadn't thought of an alias for herself and Mushu's attempts to whisper ideas in her ear turn the conversation into a Who's on First?.
Shang: What is your name?
Mulan: M-my name...?
Chi Fu: Your captain has asked you a question!
Mushu: How about, uhhh, Ling?
Mulan: (pointing at Ling): His name is Ling.
Shang: I didn't ask for his name, I asked for yours!
Mushu: How about, ahhhhh, Chu?
Mulan: Ah Chu.
Shang: Ah Chu???
Shang: (at the end of his patience) Mushu???
Shang: Well, what is it?!
Mushu: Try Ping! Ping was my best friend growin' up!
Mulan: (relieved) ...It's Ping!
Mushu: Of course, Ping did steal my girlfr... (Mulan shoves him back into her armor)
Mulan: Yes. My name is Ping.
Shang: Let me see your conscription notice. (Mulan hands the scroll to him.) Fa Zhou? THE Fa Zhou?
Chi Fu: I didn't know Fa Zhou had a son.
Mulan: Er, he ... doesn't talk about me much. (She attempts to spit, but fails miserably.)
- When Grandmother Fa sees Captain Shang at the end of the movie, it's between this and Squick.
Grandmother Fa: Hmph. She brought back a sword. If you ask me, she should have brought back a ma—
Shang: Excuse me, does Fa Mulan live here?
[after a brief silence]
Grandmother Fa: Woo! Sign me up for the next war!
- Yes, Disney has had an older woman hit on a younger man.
- Then he tries to talk to Mulan.
Shang: Uh, Mulan! Um... you forgot your helmet! Um... I guess it's your helmet. [to Mulan's father]
- What really sells it is her father's face as he motions for Mulan to take the helmet.
- A few moments later, Mulan asks Shang if he'd like to stay for dinner. Her grandmother shouts "would you like to stay forever?"
- Shang later marries Mulan in the sequel, so he does, indeed, "stay forever".
- Mushu and Cri-Kee deliver a message dressed as a General... mounted on a panda (because Khan the horse refused to cooperate).
- "What's the matter? Never seen a black and white before?"
- In the Finnish dub, Mushu calls his "vehicle" a Pandolino. Punny as it may be, it definitely counts as an Inherently Funny Word.
- The German dub has Mushu flat-out ask "Never driven a Panda before?", referring to the popular FIAT Panda model of compact cars.
- The bathing scene is arguably the funniest scene in the entire movie—to go into great(er) detail about it: Mulan decides to finally bathe herself (quite possibly her first time bathing since starting boot camp), her (paraphrased) reasoning being, "Just because I'm pretending to be a man, that doesn't mean I have to smell like one." Mushu tries but fails to talk her out of it, as he's worried that someone might see Mulan and discover that "Ping" is actually a woman. Mulan's not worried at first, but Mushu's eventually proven right when Ling, Yao and Chien-Po get the same idea as Mulan and come to bathe in that same pond (Mushu even exclaims to Cri-Kee, "There's couple of things I KNOW they're bound to notice," before rushing off to save Mulan). Some other things that happen:
- As Ling, Yao and Chien-Po are coming into the pond, Mulan's sinking as far down into the water as she can while maintaining her male disguise and making a hasty exit—she even uses a lily pad to cover her girly bits while trying to get away from the three guys, who're guilelessly trying to befriend "Ping" with a little good-natured water fight (which counts as a Heartwarming Moment since the three do feel bad about how they treated Mulan before and want to be friends with her).
- There's also the part where Yao's standing naked as he declares himself King of the Rock—Mulan's face as she realizes what she's averting her gaze from is priceless. Also funny because, even if they don't show any nudity, it's still pretty risqué for Disney, because we're presumably supposed to imagine Yao standing there with his hands on his hips.
- And then after Ling grabs Mulan's right arm (she's using her left arm to cover her chest), Mushu bites Ling on the butt, and he and the other two guys start freaking out because they think Mushu's a snake. Ling, Yao and Chien-Po then climb up on the rock and this exchange happens:
Ling: Some King of the Rock. [Yao pushes him into the supposedly snake-infested water]
- After finally getting out of the water, Mushu's furiously brushing his teeth (even putting a big glob of toothpaste on his tongue) and claims that Mulan owes him "big" for what he did to save her back there.
- This exchange between Mulan, Mushu and Khan (Mulan's horse):
Mushu: Hey, don't look at me, I ain't bitin' no more butts.
- The line "I LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!"
- And Mushu's ensuing rant, partly for the head ancestor's reactions.
- Mushu wishing for dishonor on both Mulan and her "cow". Additionally, he says his eyes can see straight through Mulan's armor and Mulan slaps him.
- In a blink-and-you'll-miss-it-moment, when Mulan puts her hand on Mushu's mouth and apologizes, Mushu shoves her hand off and goes into a fighting pose as if he briefly thought Mulan was attacking him.
- Shang as his army is facing about a hundred thousand Huns: "If we die, we die with honor!" What does he mean, if we die?
- One word to the Emperor near the end: "Boo." What makes it funny is that Shan-Yu says it while hanging upside-down.
- When the trio are first shown in drag with "I'll Make A Man Out of You" playing. Nothing says manly like Wholesome Crossdressing!
- When they're advancing towards Shan-Yu's guards to take them out (complete with giggling), one of the guards is waving at them and grinning!
- Seven words: "Does this dress make me look fat?" Slap Make that eight: "Ow!"
- Not to mention their using assorted pieces of fruit as boobs. When the apple falls out of Ling's dress, he subtly covers his (missing) right boob; this gets a Face Palm from Shang. Then, when he and Chien-Po take out the rest of their breast-fruit (watermelons and apples), Yao pulls out an orange and a banana; Ling gives him a very odd look.
- Look closely and you'll notice his apple moves down to his armpit.◊
- And the apple has a bite out of it, for some reason. Looks like Ling didn't put much effort into his food-breasts, either.
- During "I'll Make a Man Out of You", when they're shooting arrows at pomegranates, and Mushu sticks a fruit on Mulan's arrow. When Shang sees this (not seeing Mushu but thinking that Mulan's cheating), Mulan's face is PRICELESS.
- During the initial play of the song, when the troops are supposed to catch fish with their bare hands and Mulan pulls Yao's foot instead making him be dragged into the river, but what really sells it is her gingerly pushing the foot underwater trying to pretend nothing happened.
- And right after that, Mushu gives Mulan a fish that he caught with snorkeling gear.
- The sheer irony at the beginning of the song is priceless.
- At the beginning of the song, Ling drops a beetle down Mulan's back, which causes her to swing her stick around and ends up knocking all the other soldiers over (including Ling) while Mushu Face Palms. Also, Shang comes over to retrieve the stick and gets whacked in the stomach.
- Mushu's attempt to 'wake the stone dragon', ending with it falling to pieces, followed by the Great Ancestor calling the Stone Dragon and Mushu holds the head up to prove that Stone Dragon awoke. And the Great Ancestor bought it.
Great Ancestor: Great Stone Dragon, have you awakened?
Mushu: [holds up the Great Stone Dragon's head, which is all that's left of him] Uh, uh, uh, uh... Yes, I just woke up! I'm...I'm the Great Stone Dragon! Good morning! I will go forth and fetch Mulan! Did...Did I mention that I was the Great Stone Dragon?
Great Ancestor: Go! The fate of the Fa family rests in your claws.
Mushu: Don't even worry about it! I will not lose face! AAAH! [loses his balance and tumbles down the hill; the head of the Great Stone Dragon lands on top of him] Ow, my elbow! Oh, oh, I know I twisted somethin'.
- "Get off the roof, get off the roof, get off the roof..."
- Funnier if you consider this a G-rated way of saying "Oh shit! Oh Shit! Oh shit!"
- After Mulan creates an avalanche during the snowy battle war, we see Ling, Chien Po and Yao charging into the fray...only to run away upon seeing the avalanche (which works perfectly as a metaphor for writer's block).
- Plus, the way Ling's helmet bounces off his head when he turns around to run away.
- This exchange:
: I should have prayed to the ancestors for luck. Grandma Fa
: How lucky can they be? They're dead!
- The ancestors all arguing about Mulan when she runs off to join the army:
Ancestor 1: My children never caused such trouble. They all became acupuncturists!
Ancestor 2: Well, we can't all be acupuncturists!
Ancestor 3: No! Your great-granddaughter had to be a CROSS-DRESSER!
- The last ancestor that Mushu "helped", Fa Deng. He appears for about four seconds, in military armor, with his head under his arm. "Yeah. Thanks a lot."
- These lines from "A Girl Worth Fighting For."
Chi Fu: I've a girl back home who's unlike any other.
Yao (to Mulan, under his breath) Yeah, the only girl who'd love him is his mother.
- Mushu with the kite strapped to his back. He looks absolutely terrifying to the guards. Also doubles as a Moment of Awesome.
Mushu: (flies onto tower) Citizens, I need firepower.
Guard: (gasps and turns around) Who are you?
Mushu: (spreads out fake wings and says in a deep Batman voice) Your worst nightmare! (cue the guards jumping out of the tower to get away from him)
- When Shang tells Mulan that "[she] fight[s] good." Even the Emperor is pretty much saying a more eloquent version of 'You're stupid.' Also, the fact that Mulan a few minutes previous kind of nailed Shang in the head while falling from the roof. Ouch.
- Another incident:
Mulan: (to Shang) Would you like to stay for dinner?
Mulan's Grandmother: (shouting across the yard) WOULD YOU LIKE TO STAY FOREVER?
- Mushu Shield Surfing on the mountain and searching for Mulan. The scene itself was pretty funny.
Mushu: Mulaaaaaaan! Mulan? (pulls a head out of the snow)
Mushu: (casually puts head back in) Nope.
- Mulan preparing to enter the army camp.
Mulan: Excuse me. Where do I sign in? Ah, I see you have a sword. I have one too! They're very manly, and tough. *attempts to unsheathe the sword and proceeds to drop it*
- Mushu: "And all cos Miss Man decided to take her little drag show on the road!"
Mushu: "And all because our Mulan absolutely has to do some 'Lara Croft' act!"
- The portrait of Chi Fu with the Emperor in his tent◊—Chi Fu is shaking the Emperor's hand with an absolutely gleeful smile, while the Emperor is being his usual stern, dignified self. Fridge Logic makes this even funnier: How long would they have held that pose for the painter to draw them?!
- Mushu keeps calling Khan, Mulan's horse, a cow. When Mulan's secret is blown wide open, and Cri-Kee finally admits to Mushu that he's not lucky:
Whaddya mean "you're not
to me? (turns to Khan
) And what are you, a sheep?!
- Near the end:
Emperor: The flower that blooms in adversity, is the most rare and beautiful of all.
You don't meet a girl like that
every dynasty! *puts on his hat
- After everyone has finished bowing before Mulan, the Emperor calls for Chi Fu and asks for him to help install Mulan as a member of his court.
Chi Fu: *trying to undercut Mulan one last time* A member? Sire, I'm afraid there is no position vacant in your court.
Emperor: Oh well... *to Mulan* You can have his job.
Chi Fu: What? My- my- *faints*
- In the PC game Mulan Animated StoryBook, when you select Yao, Mushu breaks out some wisecracking lines, such as:
Mushu: I've heard of black-eyed peas, but this is ridiculous!
- Grandmother Fa in one scene says about the matchmaker:
Grandmother Fa: Who spit in her bean curd?
- Darn near everything that comes out of Grandmother Fa's mouth is hilarious (the arguably insensitive line mentioned above aside).
- After Mulan is getting ready for visiting the matchmaker her father prays at the family temple.
Fa Zhou: "Please help Mulan impress the matchmaker today." (Cue the dog running in around him, chasing a bone tied to his head, chicken fed tied to his back and chickens fluttering into the temple... caused by Mulan.) "Please... please help her."
- "I think I'd better go and... pray... some more..."
- "Lemme hear ya say aaaahhh!" "AAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!" "That's close enough!"
- A few seconds later, Cri-kee's shadow appears and mocks Mushu by holding up his front legs to make a similar-looking shadow to Mushu's. Mushu sees this and kicks him.
- Mushu: (about seeing Mulan's war face) "Oh, I think my bunny slippers just ran for cover."
- Mushu throwing Cri-kee out of Mulan's porridge. "Hey, get out of there! You gonna make people sick!"
- And Mulan with her mouth full of porridge, Mushu saying "then you gotta kick the other kid's butt" and Mulan saying with her mouth full "But I don't want to kick the other kid's butt."
- The exasperated look on the Chief Ancestor's face as he says that Mushu can be a guardian again.
- Yao fires an arrow with rope to save Mulan & Shang
Yao: "Now, I'll just pull them to safe-" (rope runs out before Yao can grab it) "-ty..."
Yao: (sobbing) "I let them slip through my fingers!" (arrow with rope attached to it lands in his hands, pulling him to the edge of the cliff)
- Followed every man jumping to add their strength and pull Mulan and Shang on Khan back up, with Chien-Po casually walking to them and picking them up effortlessly.
- Not to mention the faces of the rest of the army when Chien-Po picks them up.
- Shang gets a Shirtless Scene in one scene and fires an arrow at the top of a pole for his warriors in training to get. Yao's turn comes up and he mutters to himself, "I'll get that arrow, pretty boy. And I'll do it with my shirt on."
- And then there's the Matchmaker scene:
Matchmaker: Fa Mulan.
Mulan: (standing up) Present!
Grandma Fa: Who spit in her bean curd?
- When the Matchmaker says the word "dignity", she covers her face with ink.
- Then, Mulan pours tea on the table on accident due to staring at the Matchmaker's ink-beard.
- And when everyone outside can hear the chaos Mulan is causing with the matchmaker Grandmother Fa says obliviously to Mulan's mother: "I think it's going well. Don't you?"
- The matchmaker accidentally falling on the fireplace causing her to suffer a Rump Roast then Mulan obliviously making the fire WORSE by fanning it before finally putting it out with her tea. Let's just say that whole scene was hilarious!
- Mushu's "Well, let's go kick some hunny-bun!"
- Little Brother, Mulan's puppy, smacking headfirst into the wall before running out the door. The slapstick is funny in of itself but that *clonk* noise that it causes only adds to it. It basically sounds like wood hitting...well, wood.
- When the Emperor rewards Mulan with his crest and Shan Yu's sword, she gives him a great big hug.
Yao: Is she allowed to do that?
Shang, Ling and Chien Po: (Group shrug.)
- Chi Fu being laughed out of the bathing pond by the soldiers:
- Mushu's Paper-Thin Disguise as a military messenger when confronting Chifu. Made more hilarious as he was mounted on a panda.
- Mulan's false name would be pronounced Fa Ping, I think you can fill in the missing letter.
- Mulan uses Mushu to ignite the last cannon then changes her aim at the last second, sending the cannon (with Mushu on it) straight towards the mountain.
Mushu: You missed?!? How could you miss?! He was three feet in FRONT OF YOU!
- Mushu and Cri-Kee conspire to get the army in action by writing a fake message:
- As the army is marching after the discovering the Tung Shao village, a rocket suddenly shoots out of the cart. Mulan immediately gives Mushu a dirty look, prompting Mushu to feebly point at the cricket, who gives Mushu an utterly priceless Death Glare.