The Disney film
"But, father, I-I-I've beaten every single monster I've come up against! I-I'm the most famous person in all of Greece! I-I'm-I'm- I'm an action figure!"
- The introduction perfectly sets up the films comedic tone. Charlton Heston makes a voice over cameo in the opening, setting up the film to be a serious telling of the Hercules myth...only for the Muses to abruptly butt in and tell him to lighten up. Heston rolls with it and says "You go, girl." as the Muses begin their song.
Thalia: Honey, you mean Hunk-ules! [hops down to the picture on the vase] Ooh, I'd like to make some sweet music with-!
- When the other four muses launch into "The Gospel Truth", Thalia realizes that she needs to catch up with the others, rushes down the improvised staircase, and does exaggerated high kicks once she catches up.
- Baby Hercules chewing on a lightning bolt and tying Pain and Panic in a knot.
- Zeus's present to his newborn son is Pegasus. That's right. Only a baby, and his parents got him a pony for a present!
- Herc's reaction to the Zeus statue coming to life is to yell at the top of his lungs and run for his life. Granted, that's probably how any normal person would react if a giant stone statue came to life and started talking to them, and directly reached toward them, at that.
- Almost all of the scenes with Hades (played by James Woods, who actually improvised many of his lines). The numerous mythical/historical in-jokes were also great.
- When Hades releases the Titans for his evil plan. Unfortunately, the Titans are... not very bright, to say the least.
Titans: DESTROY ZEUS! Hades:
Uh, guys? Titans
: HUH? Hades
: Olympus would be that way
. (points at Olympus in the opposite direction) Titans: (look at Olympus like "WTF...?", then turn around and walk towards it) ZEUS!
- Look at Stratos' (the wind titan's) face: he looks particularly embarrassed!
- Nearly every time Hades goes off on one of his rants. Such as upon finding out Hercules has been alive all these years.
: Hercules... Oh, why does that name ring a bell? Pain
: I dunno. Maybe we owe him money? Hades
was that name again? Meg
: Hercules. (Hades snarls; Meg continues without noticing Hades' rage
) He comes on with this big, innocent farm boy routine, but I could see through that in a Peloponnesian minute. Pain
: Wait a minute! Wasn't Hercules the name of that kid we were supposed to-- Pain & Panic
: OH, MY GODS!
RUN FOR IT! (Hades grabs them
: So you took care of him, huh? "Dead as a door nail!" Weren't those your exact
: This might be a different Hercules! Panic
: Yeah! Hercules is a (choked by Hades
) very popular name nowadays! Pain
: Remember like a few years ago, every other boy was named Jason and the girls were all named Brittany? Hades:
I'm about to rearrange the cosmos, and the one SCHLEMIEL
who can louse it up IS WALTZING AROUND IN THE WOODS!
- Upon finding that Pain is wearing Air-Hercs:
Pain: Um, I don't know. I thought they looked kinda...dashing.
[getting flamier with each phrase
] I've got 24 hours to get rid of this bozo
, or the entire scheme that I've been setting up for 18 years
goes up in smoke... and YOU... ARE WEARING... HIS... MERCHANDISE?!?
[Hades almost flames Pain before both hear a slurping noise. Hades turns to see Panic drinking some Hercu-lade]
] Oh! Ha ha. Uh... thirsty
(Cut to the mountain exploding in the distance as the city shakes. Hercules, Pegasus and the citizens of Thebe are shown in the foreground, hearing the distant explosion, then shrugging
- This exchange:
Megara: [Hercules] is different. He's honest and sweet, and he wouldn't do anything to hurt me.
Hades: (gawking) HE'S A GUY.
- His big entrance during his takeover of Olympus:
Guys! Get your Titanic rears in gear and KICK! SOME OLYMPIAN! BUTT!
[Pegasus sneaks up and blows his hair out as if it were a candle
] Woah, is my hair out?
- The Greek dub has him ask "Whoa, did my wig slip off?".
- "How sentimental. (Fakes being emotional) You know, I haven't been this choked up since I got a hunk of moussaka caught in my throat! Huh?! (Beat) Is this an audience or a mosaic?"
- In the Finnish dub, he says that he (roughly translated) "hasn't felt this warm inside since the last time [he] swallowed a match stick". Never mind the fact that the guy's literally on fire.
- In the Swedish dub, he asks "So, is this a baptism or a wake?"
- In the Greek dub, he says the hunk of moussaka getting caught in his throat brought him a shock instead, and he asks the Olympians whether they're alive or statues.
- The entirety of Hades' conversation with the Fates.
Ladies, so sorry I'm— The Fates:
you would be! Clotho:
] We know EVERYTHING! Lachesis:
—and Future! [aside to Panic
] Indoor plumbing...it's gonna be big! Hades:
Right, anyway ladies, I was at this party and I lost all track of ti— The Fates:
We know! Hades:
you know. Anyway, Zeus—Mr. High and Mighty, Mr. "Hey You Get Off Of My Cloud
"—Now he has— The Fates:
—a bouncing baby brat! Clotho:
We KNOW! Hades: I KNOW you
know. I got it, I got the concept.
- The Stinger has him call out:
Hades: What dya say? Its happy ending time! Everybodys got a little taste of somethin but me. I got nothin. Im Im here with nothin. Anybody listenin? Its like Im What am I, an echo or something? Hello? Hello? Am I talking to, what, hyperspace? Hello, its me. Nobody listens.
- The brave, heroic title character that just awesomely KO'd a centaur that was more than quadruple his size (which is really saying something) being reduced to a stuttering, Adorkable Shrinking Violet when he first tries talking to Meg.
- Just the centaur getting KO'd with his horseshoes flying after him. It's straight out of classic 'toons! No Trailer Joke Decay here!
- Meg's Establishing Character Moment;
- This glorious radar-dodging exchange after Herc and Meg's date:
: And that play about that Oedipus guy
... whew! And I thought I
- When Hercules confronts Nessus to save Megara, Meg didn't want to be saved. Then Nessus punches Herc into the water, causing Herc to lose his sword and grabbed a fish by mistake. He pulled out a swordfish! This causes Nessus to laugh and punch Herc again.
- Just the look on Hercules' face after getting punched by Nessus, just before crashing headfirst into a rock.
- Megara accidentally slapping Hercules in the face with her wet hair.
- During their first battle, the Hydra roars at Hercules, then smiles as he shrinks back. Afterwards when Herc realizes that his sword is missing, and landed behind him. The Hydra crushes a rock Herc threw at the monster with its teeth, then laughs at the hero. After retrieving his sword, the Hydra caught him off guard, throwing him in the air and catches the screaming hero in its mouth.
- After the Hydra seemingly swallows Hercules whole, it lets out a loud belch and then licks its lips with a deeply satisfied expression, as if to say "That was good!" The hilarious Oh, Crap! look it gets when Hercules cuts his way out of its stomach is also pretty funny.
- Having cut his way out from inside the Hydra, Hercules is covered with green slime. Swaying on his feet, Hercules tries to sheath his sword, only to drop it on the ground, before he himself collapses. Looking at Phil, who asks how many horns he see, a dizzy Herc sees triple and his answer is "Six?"
- The surprised and gobsmacked looks on the Hydra's faces, accompanied by a confused "nyeer?" noise, right before Herc punches the cliff down on them.
- Hermes being captured by Pain and Panic. And later when he gets his revenge on them.
- Hercules can fight mythological monsters, but he's no match for a mob of screaming fangirls.
- Hercules punching Hades' face inward when he's in the throes of a Villainous Breakdown.
- Hercules perks up once he hears that some kids have been trapped in a rock slide, since it means he can prove himself as a hero. Meg, not knowing the reason he was happy, has this to say:
- Herc then takes her with him and Pegasus, despite her protests
Meg: No, wait! P-Please! Y-Y-You don't understand! I-I-I have this terrible fear of— (Pegasus takes off) HEIGHTS!!
(cue Meg fearfully hanging on to Herc as Pegasus snickers)
Phil: (still on the ground chasing after them) I'm right behind ya, kid! I'm way behind ya, kid! Ooh, I got a fur wedgie!
- Then when they arrive at the scene, Meg is left with her hair frizzled up and looking like she's about to be sick.
Hercules: You okay?
Meg: I'll be fine. Just get me down from here before I ruin the upholstery.
- Phil making fun of the idea that Zeus is Hercules' father.
Phil: Hold it. Zeus is your father, right? (starts laughing) Zeus. The big guy - he's your daddy? Hahaha! Mr. Lightning Bolts! 'Read me a book, would you, da-da?' Hahahaaa, Zeus! 'Once upon a time!'... Ha-ha-ha!
- Later, during Phil's song, he tells Herc that even if he is Zeus' son, he won't train him. Zeus convinces him to in the most epic way possible.
My answer is, TWO WORDS:
[gets hit by lightning; beat as Phil looks up at the sky
- While training to be a hero, Hercules has to save a "damsel" which is portrayed as a dummy. The dummy is barely in pieces by the time his training was finished.
- When Hercules starts fighting the Titans, the Lava Titan spews some lava on Hades in an attempt to get Herc.
Hades: No, get HIM! Not me! Him! [Ice Titan goes after Herc, who flies by Hades] Follow the fingers, him! [gets frozen] The yutz...with the horse!
- "Two words: I. Am. Retired." Especially because Herc looks baffled trying to sort out how that counts as two words. Bonus points since the phrase in Greek is actually only two words long.
- The "Zero to Hero" sequence:
- Herc shoots an arrow at the Erymanthian Boar. Its expression goes in the space of a couple seconds from "RAWR!" to "Oh, man, this is really going to hurt."
- And then there's the urn that appears afterwards - with the boar cooked and served up on a platter (complete with an apple in its mouth), and Phil standing off to the side with a bib, plate, and fork.
- Herc defeating one of the Stymphalian birds...by locking her in a giant birdcage. Her disgruntled "are you kidding me?" look is what really sells it.
- Hercules's adopted parents, still living in their little farmhouse...but with a giant mansion built onto the back. And a solid gold chariot on the front lawn.
- The various shots of Hades' frustration and fury as Herc tackles everything he throws at him without even breaking a sweat.
- Herc defeating the Minotaur, Medusa and a gryphon with one punch each (and he straight-up Shoryukens Medusa), making them all land in a pile.
- Megara backs into a Cupid (or would that be Eros?) statue. Specifically she pokes herself with his "love arrow". She notices this, and shows an expression of "does that mean what I think it means?" Look at it!
- As Herc leaves he gives her a flower and kisses her on the cheek, leaving her with a face that's priceless as she touches the spot where he kissed her; then followed by I Won't Say I'm in Love
- Meg's introduction clues us into how snarky she is with several lines.
Are you alright miss... Meg:
[Meg whips her head around, accidentally slapping Herc in the face with her wet hair
] Megara. My friends call me "Meg"—or at least they would if I had any friends. So, did they give you
a name with all those rippling pectorals?
[Herc babbles incoherently
Are you always this articulate? Hercules:
Hercules. My name's Hercules. Meg:
Hercules? I think I prefer "Wonderboy". Hercules:
So, how did you get mixed up with the— Meg:
Pinhead with hooves? You know how men are. They think "no" means "yes" and "get lost" means "take me I'm yours"
! [does a mock swooning pose to Herc
(confused, Herc just glances back at Pegasus, who just snorts with irritation) Meg:
(beat) Don't worry, Shorty here can explain it to you. Phil
- Maybe the best part of that exchange is Herc rolling his eyes at Meg's "no means yes" line.
- Even better when you remember whose son Herc is.
- "But, father, I-I-I've beaten every single monster I've come up against! I-I'm the most famous person in all of Greece! I-I'm-I'm- I'm an action figure!"
- Hercules and Megara having their romantic moment ruined by Phil and Pegasus, the latter imitating a police helicopter and the former acting like a riot officer.
Phil: Alright, break it up! Break it up! Party's over! I've been looking all over this town!
Meg: Calm down, mutton man! It was all my fault!
Phil: You're already on my list, sister, so don't make it worse!
- Thalia the Muse is full of them, especially during the "I Won't Say I'm in Love" sequence, where she waves the flower at Meg and is ignored, she ends up dangling from the 'ceiling' the others have raised up, she's held up by the others during the line "you (got) (got) got it bad," and how her head isn't attached to the rest of her bust, which results in her lounging on the column.
- The Swedish dub of "Zero to Hero" mentions MTV by name.
- "I Won't Say (I'm in Love)" has several funny moments, but when the Muses sing "Hon, we saw you hit the ceiling", they push up the roof they're holding up, and one of them, who wasn't expecting it, finds herself hanging in mid-air. Her yelp just makes it all the funnier.
- "Uh, how can I come down there when I'm feeling sooo UP!" (Herc launches himself out of sight). Pegasus just looks upward like this is nothing new to him.
- Phil's snarkily lampshading Greek Hero Theme Naming when he's trying to get Hercules to leave at first:
Phil: Odysseus, Perseus, Theseus... A lot of "-eus"-es.
- One of the trophies in Phil's house is a ceramic plate with a painting of Theseus fighting the Minotaur on it... but when Phil spins it around, it's shown that it actually shows Theseus getting his ass kicked by the monster.
- Phil talking about Achilles and the pride he felt training, then his shame.
Phil: [presents Achilles statue] And then, there was Achilles! Now there was a guy who had it all! He had the build, he had the foot speed! He could jab! He could take a hit! He could keep on coming! [stops as he looks at the heel of the statue] BUT THAT FURSHLUGGINER HEEL OF HIS!!! He barely gets knicked there ONCE and KABOOM! [illustrates his point by flicking the statues heel, causing cracks to spiderweb all over until it collapses into a pile of pebbles] Hes history!
- A small moment that some people might miss, but after Herc and Pegasus first meet Phil (but don't realize who he is) are asking him if he knows where they can find Philoctetes, Phil's got a bowl of fruit in his hand—he studies it for a moment before tossing the fruit away and just straight-up eating the bowl (though Fridge Brilliance comes in when you realize that, since Phil is technically half-goat, he'll probably eat pretty much anything).
- The Rule of Three gag with the Damsel in Distress doll and the abuse it endures in "One Last Hope". By the end of the song, it definitely looks like it's seen better days.
- In the Hungarian version, the rule about damsels ("always handle with care") got translated as "When saving a damsel... if possible, she should stay alive!!"
- The whole montage in general has its moments, mainly form Phil.
Phil: Rule #95: Concentrate!
[Herc grabs a bunch of daggers and does a cool-looking but wild toss towards the targets]
Phil: Rule #96...
[Shot of Phil who's been nailed to a tree by the daggers]
- At the beginning of "Go The Distance", Hercules picks up a rock and skips it - and it just keeps skipping into the horizon.
The animated series