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Funny / HITMAN 2

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As a Moments subpage, all spoilers are unmarked as per policy. You Have Been Warned.


  • The exploding ducks are back. They are now joined by a concussive, non-lethal variant.
  • One of the new weaponizable items? A fish. Yes, 47 can now knock someone unconscious by slapping them in the face with a fish.
    • If 47 places the fish on a serving plate, it magically turns into sushi.
  • The briefcase makes a return to the game, with an added bonus of having the slowest moving speed of any throwable object, giving it a much more noticeable homing effect.
    • The return of the beloved briefcase is even noted in a set of patch notes - for an update that fixed an issue where, at the beginning of a mission, 47 would be holding his briefcase while in his blend-in pose.
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    • Under "Known issues" on the same notes, they also mention that players have reported that "The new ‘homing’ ability of 47’s briefcase is not strong enough and does not target multiple NPCs", and that they are working on a fix.
    • The December patch notes include a "Briefcase" section that begins with the assurance that "it’s not *that* fix".
    • While it was inevitably patched, IOI thought it was hilarious enough to make it a feature, in the form of the ICA Executive Briefcase Mk II, and explains it away with Technobabble. Even more amusingly, the infamously slapped on 2 sticker on most of the game's base unlocks is enlarged and plastered on the side, as if to signify that this is not a serious item in the slightest.
    • The small changes to the briefcase (Such as it's new ability to store anything instead of being sniper-specific) mean that it now acts as Hammerspace. While some snipers have small adjustment animations note , none of them actually build the rifle, meaning that the Druzhina rifle which is bigger than the briefcase still fits in in it's entirety. The prize, however goes to the broadsword, as it's almost as long as 47 is yet can still be hidden in it!
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  • Physics in the game have changed and are still extremely buggy, this can cause NPCs you launch into objects to start convulsing violently and flying extremely far away after clipping into them, or to get stuck in said wall/furniture.
  • You can now throw weapons at unconscious characters. While there's a valid explanation for using this as a means to eliminate an unconscious person, throwing blunt weapons at them does nothing other than hit them in the head again for no reason.
  • The targets now have quips when they are subdued for too long. Sophia Washington's remark takes the cake.
    Sophia Washington: You smell like dollar store aftershave.
  • The sniper rifle's information page would like to inform you that the man-length weapon will be "detected upon frisking".

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    New Zealand 
  • A news report reveals that Aleksander Kovac, the client of the sniper mission "The Last Yardbird", was dumb enough to immediately convert all of his ill-gotten gains into bitcoins and thus was arrested and will likely be charged with the murder of his fellow Yardbirds.
  • While Reynard is nothing to laugh at, one conversation with her new boyfriend, who is frustrated by their smart home's apparent inability to recognise him, ends with her dryly offering to name him Sean 2.
  • A Good Bad Bug is that Orson happens to be looking away when Reynard drinks the tea. Should the tea be poisoned, Reynard could die a few feet away from him and be quickly cleaned up by bodyguards. This causes Orson to ask everyone if they've seen Alma.
    • The man he calls, Gerard, is the head bodyguard and the most likely person to bag Alma and drag her away. He says that he hasn’t seen her.
  • A meta example, in these patch notes, IOI refers to Orson as "Sean 2" as well.
  • It's possible for 47 to chase Alma into the sea, whereupon she quickly drowns.
  • Dame Barbara can deliver this line while revising her speech:
    Dame Barbara: I can only extend an olive branch of... human compassion? No, no need to put a bow on it. Obviously it wouldn't be "animal compassion".

  • 47 can dress up as a certain "Tame Racing Driver..." One Easter Egg allows 47 to exit in a race car in said suit, and Diana gives random "Some say..." introductions introduced in Season 6 of Top Gear.
    Diana: Some say he could make it as a top fashion model, and that he's the only person to visit the Palais de Walewska dressed as a vampire. All we know is, his name is 47!
  • Considering how in the previous game 47 seemed to be capable of doing just about anything if the situation called for it, you'd expect that pretending to be part of Knox's pit stop crew would have 47 repairing her car? Nope. If you choose to plant explosives to her car, instead of planting it, say, in the tires (the way the briefing in the Announcement Trailer suggested), 47 just slaps an obvious mine into the car's rear before giving a thumbs up to the rest of the crew.
  • The Flamingo mascot outfit as a whole. Many characters in the map will consider it to be strange and funny-looking, and 47 himself will actually sometimes perform mascot gestures to blend in while still being entirely in-character.
    • The main reason for the Flamingo costume is to impersonate Sierra Knox's blackmailer. Which leads to an amusing conversation between 47 and one of Sierra's bodyguards since they have no idea why you're meeting:
      Bodyguard: So you're here for a job application or what?
      47: Something like that.
      Bodyguard: Nice! ...if you don't mind me saying so your particular choice of attire is a maybe a little, I don't know, off? For a job interview, I mean.
      47: My suit is at the cleaners.
      Bodyguard: And you couldn't find anything else to wear?
      47: Correct.
      Bodyguard: You must lead a very interesting life, my friend.
      47: You have no idea.
    • There's also another bodyguard 47 can have an amusing conversation with:
      Bodyguard: So... That's a great outfit. I'm thinking it must get pretty warm in there though.
      47: It's insulated.
      Bodyguard: Huh, imagine that. Guess it would have to if you're supposed to wear it for hours and hours every day. Do you, you know, get to use it at home? For parties and things like that I mean.
      47: (dryly) No.
      Bodyguard: Right, right. I, eh, I have a friend that is into that sort of thing. Cosplay, assuming imaginary identities. He says it's very liberating. Takes him out of the stress of everyday life and work, you know?
      47: Not really.
      Bodyguard: Yeah, I guess it's different when you do it for a living. How's the pay?
      47: Sufficient.
      Bodyguard: Nice! Okay, good talk.
    • The Flamingo mascot unlocks a secret exit. Just...see for yourself.
    • Plus Diana's absolutely baffled reaction to you donning the thing.
      Diana: Well... I always thought... pink... was your color, 47...
  • 47 can also majestically exit the mission (via specific actions and items) on Dolphins.
  • One way to assassinate Sierra Knox is to poison an IV drip she takes when you're posing as a doctor. When Sierra asks if 47 can help her, almost every line he says makes it obvious (to us) that he's about to kill her.
    Sierra: So, what's on the menu? Something that'll take care of this hideous pain in my neck, I hope.
    47: I promise. Once I'm done, you won't feel a thing.
    Sierra: So what's in this thing, anyway, doc?
    47: Mostly floral extracts. Hemlock, Belladonna, Aconite. It's designed to be fast and efficient.
    Sierra: Fast and efficient. I like that. Wait, Belladonna? Isn't that poisonous?
    47: Yes.
    Sierra: Should I be concerned?
  • If 47 is close to some people on the map, they will make note of his bad breath.
    Vendor: No offense, but your breath smells like a rat crawled up your ass...
    Guard: God, your breath stinks.
    Engineer: Little bit of constructive criticism, you could use a mint.
    bigMooney06: Why is...? Seriously, is 47's breath absolutely honking or something? Everyone seems to be commenting his breath is stinking...
  • Sabotaging the show car in the exhibition hall will have Mr. Knox come to examine it. Pour some propellant boost in there, and he gets killed when you start the engine and the car backfires. Similar to the ejector seat kill in Hitman 2016, everyone around is too gobsmacked to do anything while you saunter out the door cool as ice.
  • 47 can orchestrate events so that Robert Knox accidentally kills Sierra Knox with the bomb that was intended to be used to eliminate Moses Lee.
    • Alternatively, 47 can forgo planting the car bomb on Sierra's car and instead dump it in the garbage bin behind Robert so he will kill himself when he detonates the bomb.
  • Much like with Dalia in "Showstopper" from the previous game, 47 can push Robert Knox off a building and onto Sierra Knox's car, causing the latter to crash, eliminating both. The former even bounces off of it rather cartoonishly.
  • If you eliminate/pacify Robert Knox without anyone noticing, his personal bodyguard can deliver this gem while searching for him:
    Bodyguard: Mr. Knox? Please don't peek-a-boo me, sir. Last time I almost shot you, remember?
  • Players committing to a "Kill Everyone Challenge" will hear an announcer over the PA commenting about the genocide committed in game once the last person dies. Many players and people mistakenly assumed the voice of the easter egg was YouTuber bigMooney06, whom is well known for his Kill Everyone Challenges.
  • The briefing for the return of the Undying lampshades its nature as the only contract with the same target as a previous one who was confirmed killed, with Diana noting that it "rings a bell", and as she makes her final statement, feels like she's repeating herself. Her entire briefing sounds more tired here as well.
  • "The Undying Returns" Elusive Target contract has Faba with an eyepatch, an acknowledgement of the common method of eliminating him being driving his head into an upright pen.

  • Wearing the Tattooist disguise magically causes full sleeve tattoos to appear on 47's arms. note 
  • 47 conducting the "spiritual cleansing ritual" during the "Hallowed Ground" Mission Story: he just makes 3 dramatic arm gestures to some spooky music while everyone else is in awe.
  • 47 can assassinate Rico Delgado by posing as a tattoo artist. One of the things 47 says when sitting Rico down in the chair is:
    47: You need to keep still, Mister Delgado. I wouldn't want to stab you by accident.
  • If you don't do anything to ruin the statue unveiling ceremony, you are treated to watching Rico Delgado awkwardly shimmy around in his attempt to dance.
    • Alternatively, Rico gets very angry if there's no drumroll, and both he and Andrea eventually start complaining to the same guard at the exact same time should the drummer (47) suddenly disappear.
  • Rico gets so excited about the submarine that he wants the technician (47) to rev up its engines as strongly as possible. This usually means over the safety limits, causing the sub to dislodge from its mount and launch itself into the nearby water, along with Rico himself since he happened to be in the way.
  • On a run where the conditions for "Hero of Santa Fortuna" has been completed. There will be an umbrella next to the building storing the ship that can be shot into the water. After doing so, it opens an escape where 47 flies away using it.
  • 47 can run over NPC's during two closing cut scenes. One intentionally, one unintentionally. The latter can possibly ruin perfect score runs.

  • One kill involves eliminating the targets by redirecting a train into them.
  • 47's demeanor is surprisingly effective in business transactions:
    Vendor: Ah, my friend! You have chosen well! Now, we have the best prices here! What you do say to 140 rupees per running meter? Does that sound fair?
    (47 is silent)
    Vendor: No? Nothing? Ah, I can see you are a man of refined taste and a skilled haggler! My kids will only eat rice tonight but it's yours for 105 rupees then. It's a deal, yes?
    (47 is still silent)
    Vendor: Wow, those eyes are really burning into me! It's like you're just looking straight into my soul. Okay, final offer now. 90 rupees. 90 rupees per running meter. That's my own cost. I-I really can't go any lower.
    (47 remains silent)
    Vendor: (nervous laugh) Still no? Your haggling skills are-are something else, I'll give you that much. The silence, it's— It's terribly unnerving, to be honest. It's like you're just, uh, dead inside. Like there is a vast empty space where your emotions would normally reside. I can go no lower that 75 rupees. Really! Take the offer! Please take the offer!
    (47 keeps staring in silence)
    Vendor: (takes a moment to gather himself) You know what?! My grandmother made these with her own hands. There is blood on the loom every night because she works so hard! A fair price is a 100 rupees so that's what I'm charging you. Serves you right for just standing there like a corpse!
    (47 still says nothing)
    Vendor: (sighs) Okay, fine! The story about my grandmother is a lie. We both know it. Your silence is killing me! Just... (lowers voice) Just have it at what I'm buying it for. 40 rupees. That's it. Please. It's a fair price. You beat me! Take it. 40 rupees. Okay?
    (47 remains unmoving for a long time)
    Vendor: Fine! Just take it! Take it! It's free! All right?! Just get out of here. You're scaring off my real costumers! Take whatever you like and leave!
    47: It's a deal.
    Vendor: (suddenly cheerful again) Ah, good, good! Take any of the bundles please!
  • During the mission, it's possible to discover that there is a rival assassin after Dawood Rangan - and you can help him out by getting the target to hold still while painting him. This involves 47 painting Dawood as he stands in front of an image of himself that is captioned: "I'm Rich". Just before the rival does the kill for you:
    47: Can you look up a bit?
    (Boom, Headshot!)
    47: Thank you.
    • Just after Dawood dies, 47 applies the finishing touches to his painting by painting a red crosshair, centered on Dawood's sunglasses.
    • On the topic of Dawood's paintings: realizing that every painting in his lounge is of himself presented as some grandiose, godlike figure is pretty hilarious.
    • One of Dawood's quotes:
      Dawood: When I do this pose, all housewives in a 2 mile radius faint automatically!
  • Getting both Shah and Rangan killed by The Kashmirian, whom they both hired to kill the other. Also counts as Awesome.
    Diana: Are you planning on outsourcing all your work to the Kashmirian from now on?
  • One NPC in the level angrily protests her role as being knock-out bait for 47 in the game.
    Woman: I don't like people that throw stuff. And then I have to check it out and then boom! I'm down!
  • A conversation between two people near Dawood Rangan results in this comment:
    Man: Why do all our rich people have such poor taste?
  • One of the lines a guard can say when searching on this level is:
    Guard: Going to have a look around. I'm whispering because I'm in stealth mode, okay?
  • One of the lines a civilian may say on this level when 47 gets too close to them is "Are you trying to intimidate me, or be intimate with me?"
  • The "Gone With the Wind" opportunity involves launching Dawood off the skyscraper using a very powerful industrial fan. His ragdoll has a tendency to be extremely exaggerated in this case.
    • The director of the film calls her partner on the phone right after, first pretending to care about it being a "terrible accident", but then immediately dropping the facade and delivering the news very flatly. She then suggests that the accident being caught on film can make for a better ending and could improve sales.
    • The leading actress who portrays the Damsel in Distress isn't really all that worried either.
      Karisma: I always knew his inflated ego would be his downfall... I just didn't think it would make him literally fly off the building.

    Whittleton Creek 
  • One of the methods of blending in at a local party is to pretend to be the cook's aid, where you can serve some fries to any guests that approach. As per usual, 47 never loses his dry wit despite his advertising of the food.
    Agent 47: Psst. Wrap your lips around this.
    • Using this method to poison Cassidy so that you can ambush him at your leisure also results in a Pre-Mortem One-Liner.
      Nolan Cassidy: So, what's good here?
      Agent 47: I hear it's all to die for, Mr. Cassidy...
  • 47 can drop rakes on the ground in people's paths, resulting in a Rake Take and immediate knockout.
  • As usual, most retrievable items can be used as melee weapons, and any blunt object will knock someone out. In Whittleton Creek, this includes rolled-up newspapers and blueberry muffins.
  • One method of target elimination is to poison the entire house using the fumigator and some lethal poison. If you do so, become hunted, and then enter the house while wearing the pest exterminator's disguise (which comes with a gas masks to keep you from suffocating) people will run into the poisonous air of the house without masks on, resulting in them shouting to arrest you before, seconds later, dropping dead.
  • The fact there's a place on the map called "Murder Basement", right underneath Helens house. Discovering this for the first time on the map may make you confused as to why it's called that, until you realise exactly why that is.
  • 47 acting as a realtor and giving Cassidy a tour of the house he wants to buy. He basically rattles off flat definitions of each room and their potential uses, sprinkled with some bits that sound like they came from an ICA instructor, like how the living room has "dark floors [that] hide stains easily" or how the kitchen is the "the most dangerous room in the home" (alongside, of course, the bathroom). Additionally, 47 is more than willing to say bad things about the house, such as when he states that the attic is "small, tends to be prone to a leaky roof and likely houses various types of molds".
    • The way 47 pronounces the word "bathroom" might stick out yet again to long-term fans.
    • Even worse is when 47 tries explaining the room where the previous owner was killed in, as the bloodstains are still there. He gives an extremely detailed account of his assumptions of what took place there, concluding it was caused by a severe allergic reaction or a poisoning of some kind. Cassidy is understandably horrified by this ability, but 47 simply states, "I dabble in forensic investigation. Among other things.".
    • 47 clearly wasn't expecting a vault guarded by explosives and visible laser trip sensors, and takes a moment before rolling with it as though it was part of the tour.
      Agent 47: And here we have... Some sort of... Vault?
  • "You know that I can see you. You're not very good at hiding."

    Isle of Sgàil 
  • The Constant trolling the ultra-conservative Jebediah Block by pointing out that if global society collapses and the Ark Society is all that's left, the result will be a tiny egalitarian colony with no economy or class structure. In other words, Block has spent nearly 2 billion dollars on communism. Block is left utterly shaken.
  • Should 47 disguise as Block and vote "nay" during the council meeting, Sophia will have a private discussion with him. While reprimanding him, Sophia will ask if his grandchildren will pay for his survival should Block's coal company go under, leading to this exchange:
    47: Nice try. But I don't have grandchildren.
    Sophia Washington: (frustrated) You just had to make this difficult, didn't you?
    • This will lead to Sophia threatening to expose Block while she faces an Iron Maiden. After she dismisses her guards, no less.
  • One of the achievements requires poisoning the council members' drinks and then voting in favor of the motion.
  • Diana's announcement when either of the targets enters 47's field of vision is extremely long, and she makes a Call-Back to when she announces Viktor Novikov's by stating that they have "quite the resume".
  • Due to Artificial Stupidity, you can casually walk up to Zoe Washington with a blunt weapon in hand and your cultist cloak disguise on while she makes her speech. From there, knock her out from behind and right in front of her followers. They'll just simply stare at you dumbfounded at what's going on before you push her unconscious body off the back of the stage and onto the foot of a cliff.
  • Zoe Washington gets confused as to why you would lie on the first question of the Lie Detector test, since telling the truth ("Yes") would be beneficial to the question ("Are you an expert in your field?"). Continue to lie to her and she will eventually be irritated enough to not realize she's standing on a puddle with the wire connected to the electric chair, which has been sparking for the last few attempts already, in it as she orders her assistant to crank it to the maximum. Naturally, this leads to her getting electrocuted in your place.
  • Diana's reaction if 47 punches out the Constant:
    Diana: Shit. So much for subtlety. Get out of there, 47, Mr Grey will take it from here.

    New York 
  • Taking away the "Caution: Wet!" signs and causing a distraction with the sign will make anyone slip up and get knocked out, similar to the rakes in Whittleton Creek.
  • One of the secret achievements is called "Defenestration" and if its conditions are met, 47 can exit the map by opening a window and leaping out of it.

    Haven Island 
  • Much of the footage for the mission briefing is a In-Universe promo, even marked with a "Property of HAVEN" sign. Just the fact that the group decided to take a promo for a briefing instead of actually taking footage themselves is just hilarious.
  • There are bananas lying around at several places around the island; at first they may seem useless, but planting one down (throwing doesn't work, they have to be placed) they become dangerous traps. In essence, they are portable versions of the slippery puddles from the previous level.
  • The challenge "Disrupt Portman" requires you to eliminate Jason Portman. There's no in-game justification for it, and the challenge only exists so you can screw over the poor guy once more; even the challenge text bluntly says: "Just get rid of him."


  • When the first Elusive Target was released, people started making jokes about killing Sean Bean in Twitter. Twitter's automated system believed that they were actual death threats and started banning people left and right. The tweets were later checked by actual people and the accounts have been restored, but it's still a hilarious reminder that people should think through whatever they're planning on posting on social media.
  • The secret origin of the Dragon Flame cocktail, according to Andy Farrant of Outside Xbox, a channel that sometimes mixes drinks out of videogames. Supposedly, he was talking smack about the Colorado level of the previous game at EGX Rezzed, and one of the developers of that level asked him his least favourite cocktail ingredients (namely celery, raw eggs, and chilis)...and then came up with a cocktail that used all of them as payback, knowing that Farrant would have to drink it in real life at some point. It wasn't pretty.

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