Disciple of Sarcasm
Second-generation immigrant here 
. I can only understand conte Tagalog, so don't be offended if I bring in Google Translate for a "Blind Idiot" Translation or two.
...It took me a moment to understand what you were reading.
I can never keep all the double-vowel words straight in my head. "Conte" sounded like "Cawn-tay" in my head, and I was like "WTF ANOTHER FUCKING DIALECT" before I realized it should be "co-onteh," like "a little bit."
I'm Only Sleeping
And it's spelled kaunti in Filipino.
Of course, still in the country.
"Wait, it's IV. Of course they are. They'd make IV for Dreamcast." - Enlong, on yet another FFIV remake
literary masochist
Why do they keep calling it "alibata" anyway? "Baybayin" sounds much more elegant.
...by which I mean, hi!
This "faculty lot" you speak of sounds like a place of great power...
A nice new, thread. Hello, everyone. Manileno here. (Well, Quezon City...) 
I'm Only Sleeping
I live in the south of the Metro.
"Wait, it's IV. Of course they are. They'd make IV for Dreamcast." - Enlong, on yet another FFIV remake
I'm Only Sleeping
Ooh, not far.
I commute to uni anyway - would be too obvious already.
"Wait, it's IV. Of course they are. They'd make IV for Dreamcast." - Enlong, on yet another FFIV remake
I live in California.
I'm Only Sleeping
California's nice - and on the other end of the Ring of Fire.
"Wait, it's IV. Of course they are. They'd make IV for Dreamcast." - Enlong, on yet another FFIV remake
That One Guy
I don't feel so alone anymore :D
"His eyes were the color of FEAR..." "Wait, what is that, YELLOW?"
Ded
HEAH BRO J MENZ NAMANZ
If you wanna PM me, send it to my mrsunshinesprinkles account; this one is blorked.
The Dark Knight
Hello everyone! I hail from Davao City, but currently living at Cainta, Rizal and working in Quezon City.
Now that we are here, let me compose a mini-article about classic Action Film cliches of The '90s, TV Tropes style.
- The Hero is always a Badass on a quest for revenge. He might be a downright Nice Guy, a Super Cop, or a Loveable Rogue fighting For Great Justice, but he always suffers from Perpetual Poverty.
- The Hero falls in Love at First Sight of his Love Interest. While Filipino action movies are all about the hero kicking the baddies' asses every goddamn time, it also has romance on the side. The pair is almost always The Beautiful People, because Beauty Equals Goodness.
- The Love Interest is always an Ingenue, a Yamato Nadeshiko, or a Tsundere. Bonus points if the Tsundere love interest if played by Maricel Soriano. Especially Maricel Soriano. *'s rise to fame.]]
- The Big Bad is often a Smug Snake Magnificent Rich Bastard. He might be a Villain with Good Publicity, an Evil Overlord, or a Corrupt Corporate Executive, but they sure are experts in puppy-kicking. Bonus points if he's Hellbent For Leather, even during hot weather.
- The obligatory sex scene before the big battle. The Love Interest sure has Incorruptible Pure Pureness, but after that, one would wonder if she's a slut or not.
- The final battle always takes place in an Abandoned Warehouse or the Big Bad's Big Fancy House. Justified as the hero needs a large space to mow down the Mooks with impunity.
- The death of a loved one drives the hero into a Roaring Rampage of Revenge. Bonus points if the hero calls his beloved's name as he/she dies.
- The fight is always a hundred against one. The main reason why the hero doesn't die is that the mooks don't come to him all at once, and the Mooks are top-notch graduates of the Imperial Stormtrooper Marksmanship Academy. The hero has nine lives, he can One-Hit Kill them one by one, even at impossible firing angles.
- Turns out The Chick has Improbable Aiming Skills as well. She can shoot down mooks with deadly accuracy when she needs to, even when she have never held a gun all her life. After all, if the hero has nine lives, she has twice that.
- The Hero and the Big Bad often engage in a Ham-to-Ham Combat Like an Old Married Couple.
- The Good Guys Always Win. Do we even need to ask?
- On the event that The Bad Guy Wins though, the hero almost often takes the main villain with him or the Big Bad himself will get hit by Laser-Guided Karma.
- Law enforcement always arrives at the crime scene late, unless the hero is a Super Cop leading The Cavalry. Double Subverted if said Super Cop Hero's back-up arrives late.
edited 10th Mar '13 10:22:05 PM by judasmartel
ex-monitor
Another Manileno here :D Also, I love that list above.
World-class worrywart.
Professional Writer & Amateur Scholar
O...kay, I'm not a Filipino (obviously), but I just have a (rather stupid) question.
Does anyone here practice eskrima/kali/arnis (which is it?)? I heard it is pretty popular there, what with being originated there and all.
I'm a (socialist) professional writer serializing a WWII alternate history webnovel.
The Dark Knight
@TPAM Not really a practitioner here, but Eskrima is the general term for the Filipino martial art involving both Arnis and Kali.
It originated from since the ancient times when the country was still divided into so many tribal kingdoms. At the time, it was usually expected for an ancient Filipino tribesman, even a non-fighter, to know at least the fighting basics so they can defend themselves against attacks by a rival tribe while the army is away.
Even today, the blade culture is still so strong that even when guns are now the standard weapons, Filipinos still prefer to use knives (people from Batangas favor the Butterfly Knife) or Improvised Weapons to kick ass because they are more practical and easier to acquire than guns.
Arnis equipment are usually dual wield wooden sticks, but the martial art can be used with any kind of long material, such as PVC pipes, metal sticks, and even swords.
Kali is usually all about knifeplay, but given that ancient Filipino warriors are often depicted in media as either Fragile Speedsters or Glass Cannons * compared to warriors from other races, there are so many ways you can beat an opponent with a standard knife.
edited 16th Jan '12 7:14:59 PM by judasmartel
ex-monitor
For all it was worth, I had arnis as a PE class for one semester. Fun times, even if it almost made my hands bleed from holding the sticks during the final exams. We used yantok sticks, though I think kamagong can also be used. It's heavy as hell though, and not really suitable for newbies like us.
World-class worrywart.
The Dark Knight
For non-Filipino tropers who don't know what are these:
- Yantok is a type of commonly used for furniture and baskets.
- Kamagong is a type of hardwood derived from the velvet apple tree.
As TPAM suggested above, arnis sticks made of these wood types are as heavy as hell, and can still hurt somebody if used for hitting.
In a documentary featuring the martial art, the sticks still hurt the combatants despite both of them wearing body armor.
So, sure, wooden sticks will still get cut in half by katanas, so you might want to use iron sticks or swords to beat a swordsman with arnis.
But then, that's probably the reason why ancient Filipino warriors are often depicted as swordsmen, though.
edited 18th Jan '12 8:34:47 PM by judasmartel
Professional Writer & Amateur Scholar
I heard that some of the dual sticks maneuver was applied to machetes. That's one hardcore martial art right there.
Recently I'm very, very, VERY fascinated with this martial art. I will definitely learn this one if I can find a good place that teaches it.
Too bad that it's still a quite exotic and non mainsteam martial art yet. :/
edited 18th Jan '12 9:42:58 PM by dRoy
I'm a (socialist) professional writer serializing a WWII alternate history webnovel.
The Dark Knight
![[up]](https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/smiles/arrow_up.png "[up]"){kind=icon}
Updated the TV Tropes list of Filipino action movie cliches.
Ready for a new Cliché Storm? Here it is:
- As mentioned above, The Hero is often a Badass. Whether he's a Super Cop or a Loveable Rogue, he's Always Male.
- If the Big Bad is an Evil Overlord, expect his Dragon to become The Rival.
- If the Hero is a Super Cop, he's often a family man with a Yamato Nadeshiko wife who suddenly turns into a Tsundere once he discovers her husband's harem.
- If The Hero is a Loveable Rogue on his quest for revenge, he makes it a point to show the audience that All Girls Want Bad Boys.
- The leading lady is often younger than the Hero, like 20 years younger.
- The Lancer is almost often the Plucky Comic Relief, and he also serves as a distraction for her wife so she doesn't discover his hidden harem.
- The Hero never misses. He’s an expert gunshot who knows a 100 ways of using a gun well, even seemingly never running out of bullets.
- The Hero can rely on his Good Old Fisticuffs, too. The basic technique is evade, parry then punch. Evade, parry, then punch. Repeat that until all the mooks are down. Bonus points if the hero does the Rapid-Fire Fisticuffs at the last mook, especially if the hero is played by Fernando Poe, Jr.
- In the middle of movie, there would definitely be a trip to the country. A calm before the storm, before the asskicking begins.
- You know the Hero is ready to kick ass when he does the Title Drop.
- Most of the hero's crew almost often perform a dance with coconut trees at the background in the Beach Episode.
edited 11th Apr '12 9:12:31 AM by judasmartel
Professional Writer & Amateur Scholar
5, 6, and the last one comes to me as quite odd to me.
I'm a (socialist) professional writer serializing a WWII alternate history webnovel.
I'm certain there are at least three other tropers on this board who are Filipino, so I made a thread for them.
It doesn't matter whether you're from the mainland, an expat, a balikbayan, or whatever; if you're a Filipino, then this is the thread for you.
Also, if you've ever been to the Philippines or are part Filipino, come right in.
"Stealing is a crime and drugs is a crime too BUT if you steal drugs the two crimes cancel out and it’s like basically doing a good."