Not Always Right / Tropes A to F

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  • Bad Boss:
    • This genius manager, who ended up firing his (female) worker for his mistake.
    • This customer orders one item at a drive-thru, is asked if that will be everything and says yes, then whines when the cashier politely asks him to continue his order at the till if he wants to add more items. He promptly complains to the manager, who apparently takes every claim he made at face value and threatens to fire the submitter for their nonexistent "bad attitude".
    • Not Always Working is, in part, dedicated to examples of terrible bosses.
  • Bad Liar: This doctor was way too eager to try to throw off the stop setter, seeing how all the sentences contradict each other. Not to mention that the stop setter hadn't actually gotten around to mentioning the dogs yet.
  • Badass Adorable: Anytime a young child sets an adult (who should know better) straight or comes to someone's rescue. Such as this one.
  • Badass Teacher: This editor's wife. Primary school trainer and judo master all in one? Why not?
  • Bad People Abuse Animals:
    • This woman is willing to kill newborn puppies with lethal amounts of flea medicine.
    • This horrible woman. When a pet store owner informs her that they don't sell feeder mice for snakes, she gets her boyfriend to purchase a mouse from the store, then takes photos of herself abusing the mouse just to spite the store owner, including ones that show her dangling it over boiling water, holding it above her dog's mouth, using it as a ball in a game of catch, and throwing it in the toilet.
  • Bait-and-Switch: A narrator-based example here. A lifeguard disciplines some kids who are acting up, and the girl yells that she's going to tell her father. True to her word, the father comes up, described as "rather large and intimidating". You might expect him to yell at the lifeguard something like "how dare you talk to my little girl like that"... but nope, he just apologizes for his daughter's behavior, and furthermore tells the head lifeguard about the whole thing, which results in an official commendation for the lifeguard.
  • Based on a Great Big Lie: At least, this is what you hope about some of the entries; but it's impossible to know exactly how many are fakes.
  • Beat: Sometimes precedes a customer realizing his or her own stupidity. For example, after failing primary school level math problems.
  • Be Careful What You Wish For:
  • Beethoven Was an Alien Spy: Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter. Ask in the nearest bookstore. In the history section. Also, the role of Captain America in World War II is sadly understated.
    • Batman hides out in Tennessee these days. Thankfully, this came from a child.note 
  • Belief Makes You Stupid: Tons of people who would give even Pat Robertson a run for his money in the sheer insanity department, if not the asshole department. Half of them go into Fridge Horror because they are showing signs of dementia and/or Alzheimer's.
    • Then there are the more benign, but still insane, ones like this person, who is the polar opposite of a young-earth creationist.
    • A fundamentalist alum of a certain college tries her hardest to "justify" the stupidity. "You don't need freedom of speech if you let Jesus think for you."
    • Those people have nothing on this lady, who, because of her beliefs, winds up falling for a Paper-Thin Disguise, half of which wasn't even part of the disguise.
    • How about this lady? She doesn't seem to understand the point of there being other religions besides Christianity.
    • For this customer, a "photo converter" apparently means converting "devil worshippers" into Christians.
    • And for this customer, computer wizards are as vile as "real" wizards are, even if they're only connected by name.
    • This person bought a toy sword, armor, and shield set for their son, and demanded a refund for it. What happened? The son started playacting like any kid with a toy sword, armor, and shield would do. The customer is convinced that means the toy is possessed, rather than believe that their son was just being normal.
    • This mother believes her son had a seizure, despite the son himself admitting he was doing something else, because "he's a good Christian boy and would never touch himself in such a horrible way". She adamantly demands that he be taken to the ER and the EMTs present eventually relent. Hope the medical bills and trauma were worth it, lady.
    • A customer believes her church when they say Doctor Who is evil. Somehow, this entitles her to demand the person watching an episode of the show, on their smartphone, with headphones on, and otherwise minding their own business, to turn it off. Apparently, even with that level of non-disturbance, she still felt threatened by it.
    • This lady somehow can't even tell the difference between a star shape and a pentagram.
    • Inverted here, where a customer asks the cashier (who is wearing a small cross necklace) about her religious beliefs, and then goes off about how Christians have "centuries of blood" on their hands and demanding a refund simply because that cashier touched the drink he ordered.
    • Played straight VS Averted squares off here, where a lady tries to use religion to discriminate against a man born of an Islamic family (who himself is not even Muslim, but Catholic), who explodes on her with a massive "The Reason You Suck" Speech. Though the end of the story implies she was just a dime-store bigot using religion as a justification for it, since she later threatens violence against a Japanese exchange student presumably working his way through college (which gets her arrested).
    • This woman demands that a store take down signs wishing people a happy Diwali, because apparently acknowledging religious holidays other than the ones she observes is "racist".
    • Other religions are starting to get in on the act. A woman in clearly Islamic garb walks into a bakery and orders a ham and cheese sandwich. The cashier, knowing Muslims can't eat pork asks her if she is, in fact, a Muslim as ham is made of pork. She flies into a rage and accuses the submitter of being racist by questioning her religion and demands that he get her the ham sandwich. Once she gets the sandwich and bites into it, she brings it back to the cashier demanding that he be fired for giving her the sandwich with pork that she ordered. When the manager arrives on the scene, and learns what's going on, she begins shouting at him in Arabic. He says something back to her in Arabic that causes her to become very angry and storm out. What did he say?
    "You clearly have ears and a brain, but it will take you years to learn how to use them."
    • This woman thinks that a guy got injured because he said a swear word, and not because of the paint can that fell on his head which caused him to swear in the first place.
    • Another self-proclaimed Muslim here. The caller complains about a sandwich having a "bacon" taste, saying that Muslims can't eat pork, and accusing the workers of not cleaning the grill before swapping out meats... when ordering a sausage and egg sandwich. Unless specified otherwise, like "turkey sausage," sausage is also made of pork.
    • This customer seems to believe math and money are the work of the Devil, although the submitter suspects he could have been using that as an excuse to get free stuff.
    • This woman believes anyone who works in retail is part of the "servant class", whose entire purpose is to serve people like her for life and are not allowed to rise from their station. The worker who's serving her, a university student, is not only shocked but offended that she tells him to stop studying and stay working retail, and asks for someone else to cover the lady's purchase while he calms down.
  • Benevolent Boss: Many of the managers included in these stories fall under this trope by backing up their beleaguered employees; those who don't usually end up on Not Always Working instead.
  • Berserk Button: For a good number of the customers, not getting their way is enough to get them to fly off the handle, sometimes to the point of attacking someone.
  • Beware the Nice Ones: As phrased by her toddler: "Uh oh. Mama MAD."
  • Big Brother Is Watching: This woman apparently believes traffic cameras work in this manner.
  • Big Damn Heroes: Many stories involve another person stepping in to stand up to particularly nasty customers, whether it be a boss, a coworker, or even a fellow customer.
  • Big Eater: The everlasting supper. And apparently he ate almost everything (though it did take him four hours).
  • Bilingual Backfire: Happens twice over in one story: not only does the subject of the remark understand, so does a nearby bartender, making this a double backfire.
  • Binary Suns: Surprisingly enough, our solar system doesn't have this feature, to the dismay of a tourist who traveled to Norway to see the "midnight sun" but didn't quite understand what that meant.
  • Birds of a Feather: A rather disgusting example here. A woman urinates on the floor and smears her feces onto several books when she doesn't get her way. Her boyfriend does the same when the police arrest her.
  • Black Comedy: This.
    Old Customer: I need to return this.
    Submitter: Okay. Was there something wrong with it?
    Old Customer: No, but it says that it lasts for 14 years. I’m not going to live that long!
  • Bland-Name Product: With very, very, very few exceptions, any trademarked item that gets namedropped in a story will have that name excised in favor of a generic "[Brand Name]" or "[Item]" or similar label. Sometimes people in the comments are able to figure out company names and locations from very few context clues provided in the story.
    • An example of exception is here, where both Bath & Body Works and Bed Bath & Beyond are mentioned by name due to a customer conflating the two names — the story would not make sense if the names were rendered generic.
  • Blatant Lies:
    • Numerous accounts of customers trying very poorly to bullshit their way out of paying for something, as well as employees going along with crazy or stupid customers' misconceptions or conspiracy theories in order to get out of the conversation.
    • Most complaints filed during or after stories are also wildly embellished. For example, cashier refusing to take a return on a $3 kazoo because it was not defective as the customer claimed somehow means the cashier "threw a kazoo at her", and a dollar-off coupon being invalidated due to the customer returning the goods that got her that coupon means the cashier "threatened the life of her and her child" and "chased her out of the store".
  • *Bleep*-dammit!: NSFW language in stories is censored, but not necessarily all of a compound word. Exactly what gets censored and how (e.g. "ass-h***" versus "a**hole") varies, due to the number of different submitters' styles.
  • "Blind Idiot" Translation: There's a whole category for it - "Lost In Translation".
  • Bluenose Bowdlerizer: Possibly the only site on the Web that stars out "hell" and isn't explicitly Christian. Martha Stewart uses saltier language. You get used to it, though.
  • Book Safe: What this customer apparently was looking for.
  • Bothering by the Book: This chef shuts down a homophobic bigot by listing off a good half dozen Bible verses that she failed to follow.
  • Brand Name Takeover: "By 'Coke' I meant 'soda!'" This is actually a regular part of the dialect in parts of the American South, especially the Atlanta area.
  • Bread, Eggs, Milk, Squick:
  • Buffy Speak:
  • Bully Hunter: Many stories involve a third party (sometimes a fellow workmate, sometimes themselves a customer) who, upon encountering an unreasonable character trying to bully a server into getting what they want (or even just to be a Jerkass), feel the need to intervene.
  • Bullying a Dragon: Don't mock a bunch of guys with swords, especially at a Renaissance festival.
  • But I Can't Be Pregnant!: Multiple customers attempt to return used pregnancy tests (which no store allows, of course) when they get positive results under the belief that they could not possibly be pregnant. Why would they be using the tests in the first place if they "can't" be pregnant? Examples include: here, here, and here.
    • This girl insists she cannot be pregnant because she's a lesbian. She is not attracted to women. She has a boyfriend. She just "knows" lesbians "can't" get pregnant, and therefore declared herself one.
    • This mother insists that her daughter's pregnancy diagnosis is obviously false because her angel of a daughter is obviously a virgin, despite the implication that said daughter was in an intimate situation with her boyfriend and the mother knew it.
  • Buxom Is Better: According to these customers, it is, to the point where the employee's C-cupsnote  are "tiny" to them.
  • By "No", I Mean "Yes": All the time.
    • Frequently literal variations, such as a bacon cheeseburger with no bacon, but not a cheeseburger which becomes the same bacon cheeseburger upon adding, you guessed it, bacon. Frequently a Pyrrhic Victory for the customer as well, as the typical customer's "cashier is always trying to cheat me" attitude makes them blind to the above logic and they insist on paying for the more expensive thing without including the ingredients that make it more expensive.
    • Also, the hamburger with cheese that is absolutely not a cheeseburger, and its opposite, the cheeseburger without cheese that is absolutely not a hamburger.
    • A subversion: An iced coffee without the coffee is not milk and ice, but milk, ice, and tea.




  • Frivolous Lawsuit: Almost every lawsuit threatened in any story here, really.
    • This guy wants to sue a town, not the town government, but the town itself and everyone in it. By the look of things, he appeared to be under the impression that "Boise Idaho" (without a comma) was a company and not a town.
    • This guy, every year, goes to a family's haunted house, comes out bruised, and sues them for it, never winning from a lack of evidence but wasting a lot of their money nonetheless. He eventually gets his when they install security cameras and catch him injuring himself - his case is immediately thrown out with that evidence, and the family promptly counter-sues him for three times what he wanted from them, making back nearly every penny they had lost fighting his lawsuits.
    • This elderly lady blatantly pretends to have slipped on something wet and threatens to contact her lawyer - after basically proving she made it up, by trying to "recreate" the incident by making movements she could not possibly have done if she were actually injured. Because of this and the presence of security cameras, the manager gives her the store's information in the hopes that she goes through with the lawsuit so he can then get her put in jail over it.
    • This elderly woman tried to scam a department store by faking a slip-and-fall accident. The CCTV footage immediately disqualifies her claims.
  • From Bad to Worse: This poor worker. A lady buys $40 of various brands of cat food, and refuses to help the cashier load it up. Then she pays entirely in change. Then she drops the cans all over the parking lot when she realizes that she actually meant to buy dog food.
  • From the Mouths of Babes: