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Can we just cut out the middleman and declare this a Crowning Series of Funny?

… No? All right then. Just take note that you're probably gonna be here for a while.


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     Cr@psule Monsters 
Cr@psule Monsters
  • Everybody in the series (except for Téa and maybe Grandpa) seem to act as if Duel Monsters, along with characters like Mai Valentine and Maximillion Pegasus, never existed. This was actually lampshaded in the second episode:
    Yugi: Téa, for the last time, card games do not exist in this universe.
    Tristan: Yeah Téa, quit living in the past.
    Téa: I was just saying, is all.
    Tristan: Quit living in the past, Téa!
    Téa: Okay, geez!... But it does look kinda like—
    Tristan: THE PAST!
  • Everything is Pocahontas' fault in Crapsule Monsters, such as Joey accusing her of kidnapping Yugi's Grandpa.
    Tristan: (After Joey falls into another world) Oh no! Pocahontas got Joey too!
    Téa: That bitch!
    • And in the second episode:
      Joey: (after landing crotch-first on a tree branch) Right on the little Joey! Curse you, Pocahontas...
  • Cr@psule Monsters 1
    • When Yugi and his gang find Brisbane unconscious.
      Tristan: Hey, look, it's an Indian!
      Yugi: Tristan, that's not an Indian.
      Tristan: You're right, I'm sorry. I meant to say, "Native American".
    • Brisbane constantly reminds the gang that he's "not a villain".
      Brisbane: Thank you for rescuing me. My name is Dr. Alex Brisbane. I'm definitely not a villain.
    • What Gets the Rest of them in the world after Joey falls in.
      Yugi: I don't know about you guys, but I'm sick of rescuing people, let's just go home and pretend this never happened.
      Brisbane: You can't mean you're going to step on the map!
      Yugi: No, I was just going to leave.
      Brisbane: So you're stepping on the map then?
      Yugi: No, I'm leaving.
      (Beat)
      Brisbane: Step on the map.
      Yugi: Make me!
      Brisbane: Oh, come on! I'll be your friend.
      Yugi: Look, there's way I'm stepping on any freaking map!
      Brisbane: What if I told you there was candy on the map?
      Yugi: You've gotta be kidding me! I'd have to be an idiot to fall for—
      Téa: Hey, candy sounds pretty good!
      Tristan: Yes! Let's go get the candy!
  • Cr@psule Monster 2
    • Tristan and Joey's reaction when they learn that their in flight movie is High School Musical 2 during the opening.
    • Pharaoh defeats the trees:
      Yugi "Yes, that's right burn. The rainforest can kiss my pasty Egyptian butt."
    • When Yami Yugi is attacked by tree monsters that he finds "strangely arousing":
      Yugi: Look out, Pharaoh! There are millions of fangirls taking screencaps of this scene!
      Yami: The fiends!
    • Tristan thinking the Capsule Monsters are his and Téa's children.
      Tristan: Perhaps we reproduced without our knowledge?
    • Yami's "invisible bicycle"
    • When Tristan orders "Tristan Jr." to use thunderbolt on the kraken, the kraken blocks the attack by shielding itself with a giant wave of water. You know it's bad when Tristan himself is the one to lampshade the faulty logic of that situation.
      Tristan: Oh no! The Kraken blocked my electric attack by surrounding itself with water! THAT MAKES PERFECT SENSE!
      Téa: See Tristan, this is why we never let you play the card.
  • Cr@psule Monsters 3
    • When the flowers reveal themselves to be Flower Wolves:
      Yami: My god! The flowers! They aren't flowers at all! They are actually really, really, really stupid-looking monsters that would only scare an idiot like Tristan!
      Tristan: I am an idiot like Tristan and I am scared of those monsters!
    • Grandpa Moto constantly getting mauled by Flower Wolves.
      Grandpa: Wait, where did everybody g- Aah! The wolves have got me again, Yugi!
    • This exchange:
      Yami: They didn't elect me Pharaoh for nothing.
      Téa: Actually, Pharaoh's aren't elected. They—
      Yami: Téa! [beat] No!
      Téa: Okay!
    • "That's no teapot!"
    • And then you have the episode's description:
      A whole brand new Cr@psule Monsters episode! And it only took five years! YEAH! NEW RECORD BABY!

     Season Zero 
Episode 1
  • Yami's narration in the beginning starts off a bit serious, but it becomes incredibly humorous when his ancient box gets discovered:
    Yami: Long ago, when the pyramids were still young, I was a great and mighty pharaoh, who ruled over this land! Then, the Shadow Games came and nearly wiped out every living creature on the planet! However, I've managed to seal away the evil and place myself inside a mystic box, never to be discovered again...
    Archaeologist: (after tearing down an old wall) Hey guys, I think we found something!
    Yami: Ahem! I said never to be discovered again.
    Archaeologist: Yeah, there's definitely something here! Somebody keeps talking about how it'll never be discovered.
    Yami: Oh, me and my big narrative!
  • "Haha, this is exactly what high school is really like!"
  • Tristan getting introduced to the classic Monty Python's Flying Circus Stock Footage clip of an elderly audience applauding.
  • Téa proves herself to be a Mistress of the Mixed Message with Yugi.
    Téa: That's okay, Yugi. You know I think you're really cute.
    Yugi: Hey, you wanna go out sometime?
    Téa: I meant as a friend, Yugi!
    Yugi: Oh. Um, okay, sorry.
    Téa: But I do love you.
    Yugi: Really?
    Téa: As a friend, Yugi!
    Yugi: Oh... all right.
    Téa: Let's have sex later, okay?
    Yugi: Huh?
    Téa: As friends, Yugi! Geez, such a pervert!
  • When Téa asks Yugi what he wants to wish for when he finishes the Millenium Puzzle.
    Téa: What are you going to wish for, Yugi?
    Yugi: Oh, that's easy. Téa's pan—
    Téa: (glares at him)
    Yugi: Uhh...umm...uhhhhh...Tristan's panties?
    (Beat)
    Téa: You have problems, man!
  • Yugi's utter astonishment at how enormous Ushio's eyebrows are...
    Yugi: (In thought) God, those eyebrows are huge! I can't stop staring at them! It's like if Martin Scorcese and Jennifer Connolly had a baby! Aaand now I'm picturing Martin Scorcese having sex with Jennifer Connolly... Why do I keep doing that?
    Ushio: Is something wrong?
    Yugi: I AM EXTREMELY AROUSED!
    (beat)
    Ushio: You have problems, man.
  • When Téa visits Yugi at his Grandpa's game shop.
    Téa: Come on, Yugi. You know I love hanging out at your creepy grandpa's game shop.
    Yugi: There's nothing creepy about my grandpa!
    Grandpa: I AM THE ANGEL OF DEATH!
    Yugi: Okay, kinda see where you're coming from now.
    Ushio: The Elite Beat Agents don't come cheap. This beating will cost you 20,000 yen.
    Yugi: 20,000 yen?! That's like a whole dollar!!
  • This:
    Yami: I hope you like giant man-eating worms!
    Ushio: Huh, I wonder what he meant by that-OH MY GOD, THAT IS WHAT HE MEANT BY THAT!
  • Yugi wishing for Tristan and Joey to get beaten up.
  • Yugi runs back to the school:
    Yugi: (Inner Monologue after discovering he's missing a puzzle piece) Okay... okay, it's fine... After all, I-I still have my dignity... Just... just... don't... start... crying... Whatever you do, Yugi, do not start... (Gilligan Cut to Yugi running to school with Inelegant Blubbering)
    Ushio: Yugi.
    Yugi: Ahh! What the hell? Have you just been standing here this whole time hoping I would randomly show up?
    Ushio: Look, do you have the money or not?
    Yugi: Okay pal, it looks like I'm gonna have to teach you a lesson! It's time to duel!
    Ushio: ...What?
    Yugi: C'mon, take out your deck so we can play a card game.
    Ushio: Yugi, it's season zero. Duel Monsters hasn't been introduced yet.
    Yugi: Ohhhh shit that's right.
  • Yami and Ushio's fight.
    Yami: Wanna play a game?
    Ushio: What sort of game—?
    Yami: First one to die loses!
    Ushio: ...
    Yami: Look! the Queen of Spades!
    Ushio: What does that do—?
    Yami: You lose!
    Ushio: (falls) UAHHHHHHHHH!
  • "Garbage day!"
  • "Ushio! Baby! How's it hanging! Get it? 'cause you're gonna die!"
    • "Ah, guess you had to be there."

Episode 2

  • They turned Kaiba into a overly friendly, calm and reasonable figure. He even says he would do anything for his little brother. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE?
  • In his first scene, he sings a jolly tune about how nice he is... to the tune of Freddy Krueger’s leitmotif.
  • Emperor Mokuba.
  • The exchange at the end between Kaiba and Mokuba at the end of the episode really nails it home. Kudos to Mokuba for finally being the one to say, "Shut up" to somebody else for a change.
    Mokuba: Excellent! Soon, nothing will stop us from obtaining his most powerful cards and then I shall rule the world as Emperor Mokuba! Isn’t that right, Seto?
    Kaiba: Anything for you, Mokuba. You’re the best little brother a guy could have. I love you.
    Mokuba: Shut up, Seto.
  • The best part would be subverting the Screw the Rules, I Have Money! joke by playing on Anti-Humor.
    Yami: That...that wasn't very funny.
    Kaiba: Why would it be funny?
  • This remark when Kaiba's bodyguards beat up Yugi.
    Bodyguard: I summon my fist in attack mode. You lose 500 life points.
    Yugi: (Collapses in facedown position) But I was in face down position...
  • Yami's entrance.
  • How Yami introduces himself to Kaiba.
    Yami: Hey Kaiba! You took my grandfather's card, so in return I took your bodyguards' kidneys. I believe that's a fair trade. Now how about we play a little game.
    Kaiba: 'Kay...
  • Yami laughing uncontrollably when he realises Kaiba was playing the game for fun. The whole exchange that leads up to this realization is just lovely. The regular Kaiba would be disgusted by his Zero counterpart.
    Yami: So, Kaiba, are you ready to enter a world of pain?
    Kaiba: Sounds delightful.
    Yami: A world where the only noise you hear is that of your haggard breath as you choke on your own entrails?
    Kaiba: Positively charming.
    Yami: Because I’m going to take you straight down to Hell, Kaiba. And believe me, your torture will never end until I’m satisfied.
    Kaiba: I always wanted to visit new places.
    Yami: Okay, cut that out.
    Kaiba: Cut what out?
    Yami: That whole “happy” thing. I’m not buying it.
    Kaiba: I really don't know what you mean.
    Yami: Everyone knows that Seto Kaiba is an obsessive egomaniacal scumbag. The only reason you’re playing this game, is to prove you’re the best.
    Kaiba: Actually, I'm just playing for fun.
    Yami: (disbelieving) Seriously?
    Kaiba: (absolutely sincere) I love playing games with my friends.
    Yami: (disturbed) O-okay stop that.
    Kaiba: Especially my closest friends.
    Kaiba: Like you, Yugi.
    Yami: Who the hell are you?
    Kaiba: I'm Seto Kaiba. The nicest guy on the face of the planet.
    • And then, Kaiba joining in on the laughter.
    Kaiba: (laughing) Oh, it feels so good to laugh.
    Yami: (laughing) I'm going to kill you in your sleep.
    • And then, when Yugi banish Kaiba, Kaiba delivers this line before disappearing:
    Kaiba: You cannot defeat the Power of Friendship, Yugi! (Evil Laugh)
  • Also the running gag about Grandpa's Blue Eyes White Dragon card makes an apperance:
    Yugi: Hey, gramps can we please see your ultra rare-chocolatey fudge coated-sugar sprinkled-angelical-magical-fantastical-stupendously special-illegally sexual-genuinely-brilliantly-amazingly-goddamn-spank my ass and call me Suzy-mega-ultra-super card?
    Grandpa: What?
    Yugi: Show us your rare card.
  • Grandpa saying his original line about Kaiba needed to get laid, which makes no sense in the new context, prompting Yugi to ask why.
    Grandpa: I don't know!
  • When Yugi casually mentions that all of Kaiba's money will be his.
    Yugi: Someday it will all be mine.
    Tea: And you'll share it with us, right Yugi?
    Yugi: If by "Share" you mean "stuff it in your underwear while you dance for my pleasure," then yes. I will share the hell out of it.
    Tea: I am surprisingly okay with this.
  • Everyone just ignores Miho again.

Episode 3

  • The whole exchange between Yugi and Grandpa at the beginning of the episode is tremendously funny:
    Grandpa: Ah, the Millennium Puzzle! I solved it! After all my years of trying, I’ve finally succeeded! (pause) Why don’t I remember doing that?
    Yugi: Grandpa, you don’t even remember what day it is.
    Grandpa: Pudding day?
    Yugi: Not a real day, Grandpa. And, besides, I solved the Puzzle.
    Grandpa: Look, there’s an inscription! Whoever solves this Puzzle shall be granted its dark power. At last, I shall have dominion over all living things! And pudding.
    Yugi: No, Grandpa, that’s not how it-
    Grandpa: (puts his hand in front of Yugi’s face) Mind Crush, Yugi!
    Yugi: That’s not how it works!
    Grandpa: I am now a sexy Egyptian Pharaoh, Yugi, who will go on many adventures with his friends.
    Yugi: No.
    Grandpa: King of Games!
    Yugi: No.
    Grandpa: Where’s that Téa girl? She likes me now.
    Yugi: No!
    Grandpa: (puts his hand in front of Yugi’s face again) Mind Crush, Yugi!
    Yugi: Stop that.
  • Bakura's cameo at the beginning of the episode is funny but pitiful when he threatens to jump off the school roof but no one seems to care. One student even encourages him to jump and scolds him when Bakura changes his mind.
    • That one has become Harsher in Hindsight when Little Kuriboh revealed he is suffering from depression.
  • "Thanks Obama..."
  • The fact that the criminals in the episode are YouTube copyright offenders and the police chasing them are highly incompetent. They don't really understand the law, arrest more innocent people than not, and justify this by saying that punishing everyone means the truly guilty ones get punished as well, complete with [This is what the YPD actually believes] caption. Hm, I wonder if someone is a little miffed about getting their YouTube channel banned for the billionth time.
  • The burger joint that Téa and Tristin work at is frequented by the most random of people, including Hayao Miyazaki, Patrick Stewart, and Mr. Creosote. None of them seem particularly fazed when the burger joint is taken hostage. Miyazaki just keeps animating "cute shit" at his table like nothing is wrong.
  • After Téa is slapped for singing "Fireworks" off-key...
    Tristan: Téa, are you ok? Are you ok? Are you ok, Téa?
    Joey: She's been hit by! She's been struck by! A smooth criminal!
  • Apparently, Yami once went on a blind date with the Devil. But the Devil never returned his call, because even he thought Yami was too creepy.
  • Yami's method of dealing with the criminal is to set him on fire. The sheer brutality of it (and the reactions of everyone that isn't Yami or Téa) Crosses the Line Twice. Bonus points for being canon, if not the Season Zero, then to the original Manga.
    Yami: (laughs evilly) Now that's what I call a sick burn.
    Joey: (still on the floor) Man, that's pretty fucked up Yug.
    Yami: Pretty fucked up, Joey.
  • Tristan and Teá's welcoming to Burger World, with Miho trying to keep up.
    Tristan and Teá: Welcome to Burger World! Try our new Unhappy Meals, they come with a free stomach pump!
    Miho: Welcome to... the burgers. Try our new... you get a free stomach.

     The Movie 
  • The intro exposing the backstory of the Shadow Game is absolutely hilarious:
    "Thousands of years ago, people were very bored, because card games hadn't been invented yet. So in order to pass the time, they started killing each others with magical powers. Then, one day, a nameless Egyptian pharaoh with ridiculous hair decided to lock the magic away so that its evil could never fall into the wrong hands. And so the people of Egypt were forced to spend their time building pyramids, which, ironically, was just as tedious as playing card games."
  • In the original movie, hundreds of duelists watch Yugi defeating Kaiba with the God cards and think they could defeat Yugi and become the new King of Games. In this version? They're all just pissed because they feel the show misrepresents the actual card game.
  • "Meanwhile, thousands of miles away." note 
  • Pegasus shouting: "Hurry! Get to da choppah!" in his refined voice.
  • MIND CRUSH! IN STEREO!
  • Don'tlookathispenisdon'tlookkathispenisdon'tlookathispenisAaaaaah!...I looked.
  • Yugi running from the zombies, with a speech bubble above him reading "lol, yugi", and several of the zombies having "lol, brains", whilst "Running in the 90's'" plays in the background, as inspired by a Memetic Mutation from YTMND.
  • Joey: Wow, an action sequence that doesn't involve a children's card game.
  • Tristan (after punching straight through a zombie): "HOLY SH** ON A F*ING SANDWICH!!"
    • Joey (running from another zombie): THIS SCENE'S SURPRISINGLY VIOLENT!!
      • Tristan (breaks his arm free by ripping his zombie in half): Did you see that?! I just tore that guy's f***ing arm clean off! This is the BEST MOVIE EVER!
    • "Spinning Bird Kick!"
    • Yugi: Here goes nothing!(throws dagger and fails)...Damn I suck!
  • There's also the moments in the beginning where Holo-Yugi and Kaiba are dueling. Kaiba jumps on top of his Blue-Eyes Ultimate Dragon with a "Wheeeee!" and then they have difficulty hearing one another until Kaiba pulls a split screen.
  • Pegasus flirting with Kaiba.
  • The lesson that Yugi learned at the end:
    Yugi: And the only thing I know for certain in this world, is there's a strange man living inside my head who tells me to do things.
    Yami: You said it Yugi, now burn everything, burn it to the ground!
  • The Long List/Rambling Old Man Monologue by Grandpa at the end, as well as Pegasus' "Wut?" expression he maintains throughout it.
  • The climax of the movie features Kaiba's dragon No Selling Anubis' attack, then Curb Stomping it, all set to Ludwig van Beethoven's Ode to Joy. Funny enough in its own right, but during the entire sequence BUY YUGIOH CARDS TODAY is occupying the whole screen.
  • 4KiDS version:
    Anubis: Your opponent tried and failed to destroy the Pyramid with that dragon. You alone couldn't have made such a difference.
    Yami: You're quite right that I could not have done it all alone.
    • Abridged version:
      Yami: Nope, it was all me, baby.
  • The credits, especially the cast list. All of the characters are credited As Himself, including Tristan's voice (credited separately from Tristan himself) and Mai's breasts (while Mai herself is NOT credited). Pegasus is credited as "him/herself", and Mokuba's credit just says "not in the movie". Zorc was apparently played by Paul Reubens.
    • Peter Jackson is listed as a Second Unit Director, and the movie was written by "A Room Full of Monkeys". The sound director was Alan Smithee, and the lighting director was Sam Fisher. Martin Billany (LittleKuriboh's real name) is credited as "Guy Who Jiggled Things When They Didn't Work".
  • The "Where Are They Now?" Epilogue, with the song "KEEP YOUR HEAD UP!!" from Um Jammer Lammy playing in the background:

     The Other Abridged Movie 
  • The opening theme:
  • Joey quickly notices the Animation Bump for this episode.
    Joey: Hey Yug, how come everything looks so different in this episode?
    Yugi: Actually, this is a movie based on Yu-Gi-Oh Season 0.
    Joey: There was a season 0?!
    Yugi: Yeah, it only aired in Japan, because it was super violent and depressingly bad.
    Joey: Man, Japan gets all of the cool stuff.
    Yugi: Joey, we live in Japan.
    'Joey: We do?
  • The introduction of Gary Stu, a Canon Foreigner introduced just for this movie.
    Yugi: Oh no, those bullies are being mean to Gary Stu!
    Joey: Who the hell is Gary Stu?
    • In the actual movie, Gary Stu, or Shogo Aoyama as he's actually named, is targeted both by bullies and by Kaiba because he has a Red-Eyes Black Dragon card that he's so afraid of losing that he won't duel with it. In the Abridged version? He's committed the most unforgivable of all sins; he doesn't like card games!
    Gary: I'm going to go play in the park, without using my cards!
  • Yugi running away from (apparently) Kemo with Gary Stu: "I really gotta quit smoking."
    • And then they get stopped by “Anime Ving Rhames”.
    • "Nyeah, Joey Punch!!"
  • A lampshade on Rex Raptor's hair being a different color.
    Rex Raptor: Uh, this sucks. I'm going to dye my hair, or something.

     Bonds Beyond Time Abridged Movie 
  • Yusei's nightmare, complete with the Doctor Who theme tune and a parody opening.
    Jack: C'mon Crow. Let's go play a card game, while standing completely still. On. The. GROUND.
    • This line from Jaden:
    • And then there's:
    Yusei: I'm the serious one with the voice that makes the fangirls swoon.
    Jaden: I'm the cute, hyperactive one that people want to choke in his sleep!
  • Jaden explains who Yubel is:
    Yusei: Who's Yubel?
    Jaden: The demon that lives inside my head!
    Yusei: Wonderful!
  • Jaden's pre-battle cry:
    *Flashing his Yubel-granted heterochromia* "Aw, desu desu, bitches!"
  • As always Jack Atlas is pure shouty comic gold:
    Yusei: (Looking at a picture and seeing Paradox) Wait, I found him!
    Jack: YOU FOUND WALDO?
    Yusei: The guy who stole my card.
    Yusei: *annoyed*Jack.
    Jack: YUSEI!
    Yusei: No.
    Jack: 'KAY.
    • There was also these gems when Yusei and his friends were reading up on Paradox:
      Jack: YUGI MOTO? HE WAS THE GREATEST DUELIST WHO EVER LIVED!
      Yusei: It says here he died a virgin and his last words were, "Oh God, I wasted my life."
      Crow: It also says Dragons appeared and destroyed Europe...10 years ago...what?
  • Jaden creates a Time Crash at the end of the movie when he tells Yugi what happens to the Pharaoh at the end of his series. He, Yami, and Yusei are stuck within a white void as another joins them...
  • The Stinger. Explaining any further would kill the joke.
  • Yami and Yusei getting their Ho Yay on. Complete with Sexophone ("Careless Whisper", to be exact).
    Yusei: You can be my wingman anytime, Yugi.
    Yami: No Yusei, you can be mine.
    *romantic music, cue eyesex*
  • The time when Yugi explains about the Shadow Realm to Yusei and Jaden and doesn't take it well:
    Yugi: You know, the Shadow Realm. The big, purply cloud place you go to when something really bad happens to you.
    Jaden: I think you're talking about Hell!
    Yugi: No, it's the Shadow Realm. Y-You know, when people fall from a really tall building, or they get stabbed in the chest...they go straight to the Shadow Realm! What, you guys don't have the Shadow Realm in your future?
    Yusei: I don't think that's a real thing.
    Yugi: So wait...is my grandpa...really dead?
    Jaden: 'Fraid so, brosef.
  • Yugi just wants his Oscar now, thank you very much.
  • Also, Team Four Star, you may have Kyle Hebert...so what, we have Juicy Flannigan!
  • Yami tells Paradox there is no way someone would agree to a stupid duel like the one he proposed...Jaden however interrupts and agrees that they will all take part.
    Yusei: Jaden...
    Jaden: 'Sup?
    Yusei: If we survive this, I'm going back in time, and I'm going to slap myself in the face for bringing you on this adventure.
  • Paradox's explanation for how the world ended followed by Jaden of all people deconstructing Paradox's claims that he is the hero with basic logic.
    Yusei: How did card games destroy the world?
    Paradox: Weww, I was not actuawwy there. But I heard that somebody pwayed and a card game...and then boom! End of the world. It totawwy happened! Just wike I said! Just card game, BOOM! Evewyone dead.
    Jaden: Ok, but how does stealing cards and killing people make everything better?
    Paradox: Wook, I pwanned this!
    Jaden: So explain it!
    Yusei: Yeah, explain your great plan!
    Paradox: Aww I had to do was invent time travewl, then go back in time, and kiww Pegasus. And then the future would be better!
    Yami: You also killed Yugi's grandpa.
    Paradox: And Yugi's gwandpa! I totawwy meant to do that too. My pwan is gweat!
    Yusei: Also, a lot of innocent people died.
    Paradox: Yes, there was a wittle cowwateral damage. Pwobabwy not important. My pwan is gweat!
    Jaden: Then why are you riding around on a motorcycle, wearing an evil mask, stealing people's cards and laughing like a maniac? Does that sound like a hero?
    Paradox: Weww when you put it wike that, not reawwy but, uh...
    Jaden: Then what the hell, Man?! WHAT THE ACTUAL HELL?!?!
  • Jaden goes freestyle...much to the dismay to Yami and Yusei.
    Yusei: Oh please tell me he's not going to rap!
  • This bit...
    Yusei: Paradox, you got some explaining to do!
    Jaden: YEAH! Like why the hell were you in Venice!
    Yusei: Look, this isn't important...
    Jaden: I disagree—
    Yusei: Shut up.
  • Top Gun is so not gay, by the way.
  • Yusei commenting on everyone's hair that he sees, "What's wrong with his/your hair!?"
  • "Hello! I'm extremely Asian!"
    • "I'm so happy to be Asian today you guys!"
      • "I'VE NEVER FELT SO ASIAN!"
  • How Yugi describes how he can beat Paradox, despite his "superior" skills.
    Paradox: Oh pwease! You may be the King of Games in your timewine but where I come from Duew Monstaws has evowved far beyond your undawstanding! Compawed to me you are just a wearner.
    Yami: That may be the case in your timeline, Paradox. But then we're not in your timeline, are we?
    Paradox: Um—
    Yami: And where I come from Duel Monsters is still a broken, exploitable mess of a game. And I'm about to exploit the hell out of it!
  • When Yusei saves Jaden from Paradox...
    Jaden: Dang, son! That is one awesome motorbike you have—
    Yusei: You're not riding it.
    Jaden: Worth a shot.
  • This gem...
    Jaden: Can I ride your bike?
    Yusei: I already told you no!
    Jaden: Oh come on, it'll be fun!
    Yusei: I'll let you ride my bike if you can tell me one thing.
    Jaden: Sure, ask away.
    Yusei: Always do...
  • Yusei and Jaden save Yugi from Paradox, and time travel to when before everyone in Domino City died...leading too.
    Yusei: Everybody gets one.
  • "It's not a spoiler if it's obvious."
  • And this gem too…
    Jaden: Check it out, dawgs! My Neos card came back! It must be because we went back in time!
    Yusei: That is not how time travel works.
    Jaden: Well how else do you explain it?
  • Yugi decides to join Jaden and Yusei on their quest to defeat Paradox.
    Jaden: Aw yeah! Looks like we chillin' with the King Of Games biatches! This shit be ballin'!
    Yugi:...What?
    Yusei: He said he's happy to have you on board.
    Yugi: Oooh.
  • They turned Paradox into Mandark.
  • The joke on Synchro-what?
    • Wait!...I've seemed to stop caring.
  • And this...
    Paradox: I am here for the one who destwoyed the futuwe.
    Jaden: Look there must be some kind of mistake. I'm Jaden Yuki.
    Paradox: Yes, that is wight.
    Jaden: But I'm harmless! I couldn't destroy anything!
    Paradox: Cowwection! I think that you'll find that you destwoyed Yugioh's cwedibility!
  • The Take That! to 3D effects.
    LittleKuriboh: We at Yugioh Abridged like to apologize for the lack of 3D content in this movie, however we like to think this is totally justified since 3D is bullsh*t and adds absolutely nothing to the cinema experience. So please, enjoy your 2D movie. Because it's cheaper and much less obnoxious.
  • An unexpected cameo...
    Yusei: Jack, look out!
    Jack: CROW, LOOK OUT!
    Crow: Wario look out!
    *Wario comes in behind everyone on his motorcycle*
    Wario: Imma gonna win!
  • Crow is wondering why Yusei's card was stolen in the first place.
    Yusei: Probably to humiliate me in front of my girlfriend.
    Aki: Oh don't be silly, Yusei. You know I'd never be emb—
    Yusei: For the last time, I'm dating a motorcycle!
    Aki: But why date a motorcycle when you could have me?
    Yusei: Tell her Jack.
    Jack: GIRLS ARE SMELLY.
    Yusei: He's right. They are.
    Aki: Well, I think motorcycles are smelly!
    [beat]
    Yusei: [glaring] Get Out!.
    Aki: But I-
    Yusei: GET. OUT.
  • Jaden and Yusei search the Internet.
    Jaden: Oh my God!
    Jaden: I forgot I bookmarked 2 Dark Magician Girls, 1 Pot of Greed.
  • Jack telling Yusei to summon his Junk Warrior on Paradox.
    Jack: YUSEI! SHOW HIM YOUR JUNK!
    Yusei: What??
    Jack: WARRIOR! SHOW HIM YOUR JUNK WARRIOR!
    *A few seconds later*
    Jack: OKAY, NOW WHIP OUT YOUR JUNK AND WAVE IT AT HIM!
    Yusei:What?!
    Jack: WARRIOR!
  • "I'm Batman!" —Jaden
  • The intro to the movie.
    • Yes. The first four minutes—beginning with the original Yu-Gi-Oh! cast doing an old-timey "let's go down to the lobby" style jingle, getting interrupted by the 5D's cast doing a Death Metal extravaganza, half of which consists of threatening the audience should they commit disorderly conduct while the other half is them gloating over how they now have your money, and then moving into Yusei's nightmare (see the first entry under the film for details) may be the funniest opening four minutes to any comedy movie, EVER.
    • To give credit where credit is due, this sequence is a copy of the opening sequence to Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters. Doesn't make it any less hilarious to see Yusei telling the audience that Satan will rain hot acid down their throats, dissolve their testicles and turn their guts into snakes if they videotape the movie they are about to see.
  • "BYE YUSEI! DON'T EAT THE YELLOW SNOW! IT'S PEEEEEEEEE!!!"
  • Yugi very slowly telling Yusei that they are going to play a card game on the ground and not on a motorcycle. Then goes on to say that he doesn't want Yusei to try and ride his duel disk.
    Yami: Now, Yusei, I should point out that this card game is not going to take place on a motorcycle. I hope you understand that. I don't want you to try to...ride on your duel disk or something. We're just going to be standing firmly on the ground-
    Yusei: I know how to duel.
    Yami: Well, okay, then.
  • Yusei's reaction whenever Paradox cuts out on him.
    Yusei: I totally won that duel back there.
  • Paradox telling the Pwwotangonists about his intentions:
    Yusei: Paradox. Why are you trying to destroy the world?
    Paradox: I'm not twying to destroy the world. I'm twying to save it.
    Yusei: NOT IF WE CAN STOP YOU— wait, what?
    Paradox: In the future, the world as we know it has been destroyed. Humanity's ignorance has made the world become wavvaged, and wifeless.
    Yami: 'Wavvaged' and 'Wifeless'?
    Jaden: But how? Was it global warming?
    Yusei: Nuclear war?
    Paradox: No, none of those things happened. What destwoyed the world was...caaaaarrrrdddd gaaaaammmmeeeessss.
    Yusei: What?
    Paradox: That's wiiigghhttt. Caaardddd gaaammmesss.
    Yusei: You're serious.
    Paradox: Yesssss. Veewwwyyy.
    Yusei: How?
    Paradox: What?
    Yusei: How did card games destroy the world?
    Paradox: Well, I wasn't actuawwy there, but I heard that someone pwayed a card game...and then BOOM! End of the world. It totawwy happened. Just wike I said. Card Game— BOOM! Evewyone dead.
  • Yami's and Yusei's reaction to finding out that they would either have to lose card games or the entire world:
    Paradox: It's either I destwoy card games, or the entire world destwoys itself. It is as simple as that.
    Yami: Hmmm...the entire world...or card games. Tough choice.
  • Jaden's introduction.
    Jaden: My name's Jaden Yuki, and I'm absolutely flawless.
    *Absolutely Flawless
    Yusei: Stop being happy.
    Jaden: Ain't no one in the world as fly as me.
    Yusei: I'm serious. Stop it.
    Jaden: Bitches line up just to get a glimpse at my sweet moves.
    Jaden: Come on homie, don't be a playa hater.
    Yusei: I'm not a player hater. I just hate you.
    • Jaden then goes on to troll Yusei about having not grown up on the streets like Yusei.
    Jaden: I go to a kickass school that teaches us how to play trading cards! We get to sleep on warm comfortable beds and get served food whenever we want...awww, it's a good life!
    Yusei: Well just look at all the f*cks I give!
  • Pirate Hitler.
    Yugi: I love Pirate Hitler. He always makes me laugh.
  • When Yusei and his friends first encounter Paradox.
    Paradox: PWOTAGONISTS!
    Yusei: Wait, who's that?
    Jack: I don't know but his hair is beautiful!
  • And while the delivery is what makes this line absolutely beautiful, Jack's reaction to the theft of Yusei's card bears quoting;
    Jack: THAT GUY STOLE YOUR STARDUST DRAGON CARD! WHAT A DICK! I MEAN, I KNOW I DID THAT IN SEASON ONE, BUT, UH...HE'S A DICK!
  • Yami after Jaden's Rap.
    Yami: Wow Jaden! Way to get your lame on!
    Jaden: Actually, it's get your gam—
    Yami: I know what it is.
  • Yusei confronts Paradox in Venice and makes some Brick Jokes.
    Yusei: Paradox.
    Paradox: Pwotagonist?!
    Yusei: I came—
    Paradox: What?!
    Yusei: —to the past.
    Paradox: Oh.
    Yusei: But I also had an orgasm.
    Paradox: Ewww!
    Jaden: Ha! Nice!
  • Pegasus' song:
    Welcome, all you foolish nerds/To the gayest spectacle in the world/I'm making a cameo in this movie/I'm much more fabulous in 3D...
  • After Paradox has been defeated:
    Yami Yugi: Huh...I think we may have just killed a man...
    Yusei: If anyone asks, Jaden did it!
    Jaden: Yeah— Wait, what?!
  • In the end where Jaden blabs about Yami Yugi dying at the end of his series, they end up in subspace.
    Yami: Well, this is just fan-tucking-fastic, now we're stuck in subspace. Way to go, Jaden.
    Jaden: It's not my fault, I thought spoilers were okay, it's been like ten years!
    Yuma: HEY, GUYS!!! THIS SUBSPACE THING IS PRETTY EXTREME, HUH? TALK ABOUT POPFLYING!! GET SET TO GET DECKED MOTHERF*Bleep*CKERS, YEAH!!!
  • Paradox tried to scare everyone by sending them to the Malefic World, and all three ended up liking it.
    Paradox: Stop being impwessed by the Mawefic World!
  • Marik's 5-second cameo.
    Marik: Greetings, fools! It is I, Marik Ishtar! And I am here to enslave all of you with my—[gets blown up by a fireball] Ah!
  • Paradox gleefully stating his great-great-great-etc. grandfather Dartz would be proud of him. It suddenly all makes sense.

     Music Videos 
  • The opening of "Brooklyn Rage":
    Joey: Okay Kaiba, this time I'm really gonna beat ya, and there's nothing you can do about it!
    Kaiba: Please, Wheeler, I could defeat you with my hands tied behind my back. What makes you think you can win this time?
    *music kicks in*
    Joey: Well, I'm glad you asked.
    Kaiba: O...kay, where the hell is that music coming from?
    Joey: Nyeh nyeh nyeh nyeh...
    Kaiba: ...Please tell me you're not going to sing.
    Joey: Nyeh nyeh nyeh nyeh...
    Kaiba: *quickly* Look, I'll pay you any amount of money right now if you don't sing.
    Joey: Nyeh nyeh nyeh nyeh...*launches into song*
    • And of course, the hook.
    Joey: Can't beat my, can't beat my, no they can't beat my Brooklyn Rage! I don't wanna be a furry.
  • The rap battle between Yugi and Jaden, especially the ending.
    Jaden: Yugi! It's time...(music cues up)to spit some rhymes!
    Yugi: Bring it on, Ja—wait, what? Oh, you have got to be f----ng kidding me...
  • The full version of Little Kuriboh's take on Lady Gaga's "Bad Romance".
    • Especially the "Why am I speaking French?" part.
    • Marik: "Plus, we're both hot! Hot, hot, hot! We are quite sexy!
      Florence: "Marik, that doesn't rhyme."
      Marik: "Shut up, I am Lady Gaga!"
    • "I like the silly noises!"
    • "I'm an evil bitch, baby!"
    • "Okay, Marik, though I have to say I had no idea you were this keen to get into the Pharaoh's pants."
  • Literal Pants.
    • Chibi Little Man!
    • ASS!
    • "Fire fire fire, he's highly flammable"
    • "Hello Marik I'm right behind you." "AND NOW I'M YELLING AT YOU!"
    • "Fat, fat, fat, this guy is fat."
      • "I'm very fat."
    • "Crouching, looking dapper, this song has gone down the crapper! Guest appearance by Ghost Nappa!
  • Rounding out the Lady Gaga parody trilogy Pharaoh's Throne.
    • Specially this part:
    Pharaoh Yami: Lady Gaga? Isn't she one of the Egyptian Gods?
    Shimon: No, your majesty.
    Pharaoh Yami: Well, she should be.
    • And at the end
    Theif King Bakura: I have an army!
    Pharaoh Yami: We have an Exodia.
    Exodia: Exodia Smash!
  • Hey I JUST MET YOU, AND THIS IS CRAZY, BUT I'M ESPA ROBA! WOULD YOU LIKE THIS BABY?!
  • Marik's cover of "Out There", which manages to also be a Heartwarming Moment despite crossing the line several times. Take this verse, which is complete with a sweeping crescendo:
    Every man will shout and scream and cry out for their wives,
  • From 'Without Yugi'
    Yami Yugi: Guess who's back!
    Joey: Back again!
    Tea: Yugi's back!
    Tristan: Tell a friend!
    Seto: Guess who's back.
    Mokuba: Guess who's back!
    Yami Bakura: Guess who's back!
    Yami Yugi: Guess whose back!
    Bonz: Brains brains brains! (Guess who's back!)
    Hair Guy: Guess who's back!
    Bandit Keith: Guess who's back IN AMERICA!
    • Quickly followed by Duke and Tristan moving their heads to the beat with no expression on their faces.

     Evil Council 
  • The four times Marik held his Evil Council Of Doom.
    • And the one time Melvin held it.
    • And the one time where instead of Egypt, it was held at the Hyatt Regencynote  in Dearborn, Michigan during Youmacon.
  • Evil Council 1:
    • Everyone getting off-track and talking about whether Pegasus is gay or not, and Marik desperately trying to keep everyone on topic.
    Marik: Silence! I command you all to shut the f*EFF*k up! We didn't come here to discuss Pegasus's ambiguous sexual orientation.
    Zork: I did.
    Marik: Shut up.
  • Evil Council 3:
    • Florence, Steve Luna, Steve Umbris, Zork and Rebecca's possessed teddy bear discussing Lost before Marik comes in...
      Marik: [Enter] SILENCE!
      Steve Umbris: Yes, silence! Everybody bow down to your digital ruler!
      Steve Luna: Bow down, muchachos!
      Marik: HEY! What part of "Silence!" don't you people understand?!
      Steve Umbris: The part where you apologize to us for having such a horrible attitude.
      Steve Luna: That part!
      Marik: Oh. Well...in that case, I'm...very sorry.
      Steve Umbris: That's much better. Please continue with your lame speech.
      Marik: Right, yes. Well, as I was saying...SILENCE!
      Florence: ...Marik, nobody was saying anything.
      Marik: It was a preemptive silence!
      Florence: Oh. So...you silence the silence. Good job.
      Marik: Yes! That silence didn't know what hit it!
    • Then, when Dartz and his minions set their scheme in motion:
      Dartz: Mah fwiends, dere is only one way to defeat that dooshbag...we will dew him!
      (Uncomfortable silence)
      Rafael: ...um, did you say "do him"?
      Dartz: I said DEW HIM! What part of 'dew him' doncha understand, dooshbag!? We're gunnah dew him! Toogeda! All foh of us, we gunnah dew him! Dew him hawd and thowowowy. We will dew him so hawd dat he will feel it in the mo'ning when he wakes up!
      Alister: Um, boss? Are you serious?
      Dartz: Yes, you ayzhole! What, you want me to dew you, too?
      Alister: No sir!
      Dartz: Then keep yo' mouth shut, mayn! Okay, mayn?! Yeah. So we're gunnah dew him...on motuhcycles!
      Valon: Won't that be kind of...uncomfortable?
      Dartz: (legitimately confused) What da *EFF* you talking about, mayn?
      Rafael: Yeah, I...I don't wanna do anybody on a motorbike—
      Dartz: Deeeeew!
      Rafael: ...are you saying "do" or "duel"?
      Dartz: DEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEW!!!
      Rafael: ...so, you want us to do Marik?
      Dartz: Yes! And I will stand here and watch you dew him!
      (Beat)
      Alister: Well okay then, let's...go...do...Marik I guess...
      Dartz: Dew him, dooshbags! THOWOWOWY!
      • It comes back as a Brick Joke at the end of the video:
        Marik: GAAAAH! I AM 100% STRAIGHT! HONESTLY!
        Alister: ...so, can we do you now?
        Marik: GET OUT OF MY HOTEL ROOM!
  • Evil Council 4:
    • Steve Luna's flow is Serious Business:
      Steve Luna: Jimmy Crack Corn and I don't care, Jimmy Crack Corn and I don't care, Jimmy Crack Corn and I don't care~
      Florence: Well, if you don't care, then please stop bloody telling us about it!
      Steve Luna: Man, don't be ruining my flow!
      Florence: Your flow is of no concern to me! I simply wish for you to shut your mouth hole before I nail it shut!
    • Melvin's Entrance:
      Florence: Uh, oh! Hello, um, Melvin. Fancy meeting you here. Actually I think we were all rather expecting Marik.
      Melvin: Oh, really? Are you disappointed?
      Florence: I believe "terrified" would be more appropriate.
      Steve Luna: Like a Boss!
      Florence: Shut up, you fool, or he'll kill you where you stand!!!
    • Zorc singing 'Destroy the World' to the tune of A Whole New World from Aladdin.
    • Dartz is going after...something else...
      Dartz: Here's what we're gunnah do, mayn. We're gonna find Yuu-gay Mowtoe, and we're gunnah take his dayk.
      (Uncomfortable silence ensues.)
      Rafael: What.
      Dartz: His dayk! You know mayn, his dayk. We awl got dayks. You got a dayk, I got a dayk...hell, I could whip out my dayk right now and show you!
      Rafael: NO, NO, NO. Please don't, I'll just trust that it's there.
      Zombie Boy: Uh...is he saying "deck" or *BEEP*?
      Valon: Eh, sometimes it's best not to ask.
      Dartz: Now it’s crucial that you guys don’t *EFF* this up. So I want you to cwose yoh eyes and imagine that yoh standing in front of Yuu-gay Mowtoe.
      Rafael: (kneeling) Okay, now what?
      Dartz: Now, reach out and gwab his dayk.
      Rafael: Oh, no.
      Dartz: And pull it towards ya.
      Rafael: Oh, this can‘t be happening.
      Dartz: Then I want you to cut his dayk into thwee paieces!
      Rafael: Mother of God!
      Dartz: And each of you will take One Piece of his dayk and twavel to a different part of the planet. And then his dayk will belong to us!
      Rafael: Uh, is...is that it? Can we open our eyes now?
      Dartz: Naw, man. There’s one more part to the pwan.
      Rafael: Of course there is.
      Dartz: Next, we gonna take Mai Vawentine’s dayk!
      (Raphael vomits)
      • Makes for a Brick Joke / Stinger:
        Yugi: (answering the phone) Hello? Yes, this is Yugi Moto...you wanna take my what?! No! That's disgusting! ...what do you mean "Does Mai Valentine have one"?!
  • This part from the third Evil Council video:
    Marik: I'm not gay! [Bakura laughs] What? What's so funny?
    Bakura: Come on, Marik, we all know!
    Marik: Know what?
    Rex: Uh, heheh, yeah, we know.
    Weevil: Heheh, yeah, we know.
    Pegasus: I definitely know!
    Marik: Know what? What the hell does everybody know?
    Bakura: Marik, I believe it's time you came out of the closet.
    Marik: Oh, what, just because a guy likes to dress effeminately and hang around with another extremely attractive man and read yaoi and flaunt his gorgeous abs and stroke a phallic symbol suggestively in every other scene, that automatically makes him gay?!
    Bakura: ...Kinda.
    Marik: You're all pricks!
    Bakura: Well, no wonder you like us so much!
  • Marik: "There are no women in Yu-Gi-Oh! There are only extremely girly men! And I am the girliest of them all!"
    • Pegasus: "Keeeep telling yourself that!"
  • Evil Council 5 in its entirety, when it's not being a Tear Jerker that is:
    Pegasus: (breaking up an argument between Marik and Bakura) Girls, girls, you're both very pretty...but try as you might, you'll never be as pretty as me.
  • Shadyvox and xthedarkone make a cameos later as Jaden and Syrus and it's as funny as you would think
    Jaden (dressed in his Supreme King outfit): Gentlemen, the hour is upon us. We must make ready our dark forces and ride forth to slaughter our enemies. All those who oppose me shall die. Are there any questions?
    (Dr. Crustatio, a lobster plush pops up)
    Dr. Crustatio: (Jaden’s voice, only higher) Gee, Jaden, do you think we have time to go to the bathroom first?
    Jaden: I thought I told to go before we left, Dr. Crustatio!
    Dr. Crustatio: I know, but I just got so excited, I drank all the orange juice.
    Jaden: Who the hell brought orange juice?
    (a walrus plush comes up on the other side)
    Walrus: (Jaden’s voice, only deeper) Sorry, Jaden, I though this was a picnic.
    Jaden: Dammit, guys, how is anybody gonna take us seriously as an evil force if you’re all being so unprofessional!?
    (Syrus walks in)
    Syrus: Hey, Jaden. Have you seen all my- Oh my God! What is all this? A-are those your dolls?
    Jaden: NOTHING! No-no-nothing! Go away! And KNOCK next time before you see the nothing that I was doing!
  • Marik summarizing the term Anti-Hero:
    Marik: Kaiba's not really a villain, anyway. He's more of an anti-hero. And that's the worst kind of hero there is! They give us villains a good name!

     Let's Plays 
  • Marik Plays Bloodlines. All of it.
    • His reason for playing the game, because Bakura is a bitch.
      Bakura:Shut your buggering face!
    • The entirety of Part 4, specifically the fight at the beach house.
      *(When fighting with a baseball bat)"Hey check it out: Vampire Bat! Hah! It's funny because I broke his legs."
      *"Oh hey, a car stereo. Hey, do you guys mind if I borrow this?"( Is attacked)"Gaaahh! A simple yes would have sufficed! Holy Crap, they really like their car stereo!"
      *"Vampire Punching Power! Yeah, now you are a fridge magnet!"
      *"Ahhh! Stop hitting me! I am glowing orange! That means no hitting!"
      *"Hey batta, batta, batta, batta, batta, swing batta! And now a moment of silence for John Cena."
      *"And that is why nobody messes with Marik Ish-" (Is shot) "Ow! Stop messing with me you jerk! You ruined the flow of my catchy catch-phrase!"
  • Yami Plays Fallout 3.
    • [On the Pip-Boy 3000] "That's the worst excuse for a Duel Disk I have ever seen".
    • During the in-game birthday party, there's this little exchange after Yami's character refuses to give up the cake on his character's tenth birthday:
      Yami: Oh yeah? Well I summon the Winged Dragon of- Wait, what are you, what are you doing?! No! Put down the fists! This isn't a card game, what is this?! Somebody disqualify this child!!
    • Yami calling out "Mind Crush!" everytime he makes a kill.
      Yami: (shoots guard's head clean off) Boom! Mindcru- Oh. Went a little heavy on the mind crush that time.
    • Yami repeating the phrase: "Does this bug you?" while he punches the Overseer until he kills him.
    • After Yami's character leaves the cold, unfeeling hole in the ground which was the Vault, what he sees the outside is... A cold, unfeeling wasteland.
    • Yami blaming Megaton's destruction on Jaden.
    • This little bit:
      Yami: But you didn't have to kill my dad, punch him in the face until his skull broke into pieces. I don't even need your Vault, but you treat me like a stranger and it's all your fault. No you didn't have to stoop so low, have security beat me with nightsticks and cockroaches. Guess that I don't need that though, now you're just a vault dweller I used to know.
    • After a video with repeated references to Liam Neeson's "I don't know who you are" speech on Taken, we see the clip of that same speech... With Marik at the other end of the phone call.
      Marik: ...This is the worst phone sex line I ever called.
  • Marik plays Slender.
    • This little bit after Marik gets the first page:
      Marik: LEAVE SLENDERMAN ALONE! HE'S A HUMAN! WITH NO FACE!!
    • Marik and Bakura arguing about Endor until Slendy interjects.
    • Slender Man calling out "Hey guys!" and trying to butt into Marik and Bakura's conversations whenever they run into him.
    • Marik remarking on being in the bathroom so long almost like a woman would, until Bakura replies that Marik wakes up at 5 in the morning to apply his own make-up.
      Marik: Man, I've been in the bathroom for about 5 hours now. What am I, a woman? *Laughs* Isn't that right, Bakura? They take ages in the bathroom don't they?
      Bakura: Marik, you always wake up at 5 in the morning to apply your make-up.
      Marik: THAT'S IMPORTANT!! How do you expect me to look evil and intimidating if I haven't at least applied my foundation?
      Bakura: Yes, it certainly makes you look "the part".
    • Marik trying to sing the Slender theme song in the style of the 60's cartoon Spider-Man, only to have Slendy interject to help them sing his theme.
    • After the second encounter, we have this:
      Marik: Give me an F! Give me an R! Give me an I! Give me a G! Give me a N! Give me an O! What does that spell? Frig no, you friggin frig!!
      Slender Man: ByE gUyS!
    • Marik breaking into song throughout the video.
    • Marik's Running Gag on drinking his own piss

  • The Marik Plays Portal video for MomoCon is hilarious. Especially when GLaDOS meets Marik.
    GLaDoS: Oh, it's you.
    Marik: Who the frig are you?
    GLaDOS: I'm Your Worst Nightmare.
    Marik: You're me without a fabulous bottom?
    GLaDOS: Okay, I'm your second worst nightmare.
    Marik: You're a buffalo?
    GLaDOS: Never mind.
    • BE LESS BRITISH!

  • Marik plays Slender: The Arrival. You can view it here.
    • During the intro of the game, Marik feels like he's watching The X-Files and suddenly breaks into singing the theme song.
    • While Marik is walking through the forest, he remarks that he doesn't need a compass and that if he is ever in trouble, he just needs to shout "BAKURA!!!!!"
    • Marik complaining about how many trees there are in the beginning part.
      Marik: Thank you, Mr. Tree-Planter. Dick!
    • Marik remarking on how it's easy to break into a friend's house in the middle of the night and decides to call out for a party:
      Marik: (shouting outside the house window) Party at Slender Man's house!
      *Few seconds later*
      Marik: (shouts outside the window again) If you're coming to the party, then bring Cheetos!
    • When Marik sees a piano, we get this exchange:
      Marik: Oh hey, a piano. I can show off my pianist skills!
      Bakura: Did you just say you have "amazing penis skills"?
      Marik: Yes, I did, my pianist skills are unrivaled! I have very nimble fingers!
      * Bakura breaks out laughing*
      Marik: Oh yes, ha ha Bakura, yes, Marik plays musical instruments, it's hilarious.
    • "Go home TV, you're drunk! And I might be high...."
    • Marik singing "Santa Claus is Coming to Town" but with lyrics involving Slender Man.
      Marik: You better not shout, you better not cry, you better not pout I'm telling you why: Slender Man is coming to town. He sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake. He knows when you've collected 5 of 8 pages so be good for goodness sake.
    • After Marik turns on the radio and it plays Country music, Marik breaks into song on how Country music sucks.
    • Marik in confusion on how there's no shower in the house and wondering how the people clean themselves.
    • Marik freaking out after Bakura tells him how his head is a balloon.
      Marik: My head is not a balloon- Oh my god what if it is?! Oh no! Somebody! Somebody inflate my head! Bakura, blow into me!
      (Bakura breaks out laughing)
      Marik: Oh my god there are aliens too, what is this?! This isn't funny, my head's gonna pop at any minute, you have to do something! Oh, anybody out there know what to do if your head is a balloon?! No? Okay!
    • After Marik leaves the room filled with papers of Slender, we have this:
      Marik: Well, that was a fairly uneventful trip. I suppose I'll take this and go then. Nothing's happening.
      SLENDY: HeY gUyS!
      * A bloodcurdling scream is heard*
      Marik: Oh great, plot is happening. *shouts outside the window* Stop screaming, you'll attract all the Slender Men!
      ** Marik going down the slide, while breaking into an impromptu "Zarathustra" theme.

    • Nearly two years later, Marik revisits the game, only to be pissed off when he can't find any of the canoes Oakside Park supposedly has. Then you-know-who shows up...
      Slendy: Do YoU gUyS wAnNa HaNg OuT wItH mE? I hAvE a CaNoOoE!
      Marik: Bakura, he has a canoe!
      Bakura: (calmly) It's a trick. Get an axe.
      Slendy: I tOtAlLy HaVe A cAnOe!
      Marik: Screw you, you canoe-less dickweed!

  • Kaiba Plays Five Nights at Freddy's 2.
    • When he's looking through a mask in the opening:
      Looks like somebody's having a party. I'll tell you one thing, it's not Mokuba! Heheh, heheh! This is what I see when I watch a 3D movie. Bear. [opening ends] Okay, short game. Good job Yugi, that wasn't even a... [sees main page] Oh. Right.
    • Kaiba laughing hysterically at the idea of being paid $100.50 a week, insisting that "no one gets paid that little".
    • When the phone rings in the game, Kaiba thinks it's his phone.
      Kaiba: Mokuba! Answer the phone! Mokuba! Do as I say! MOKUBA YOU'RE FIRED! Oh, it's in the video game. MOKUBA YOU'RE STILL FIRED!
      Mokuba: I'm not even employed by you!
      Kaiba: Now you're just double fired! And you look stupid!
    • Kaiba's response to Phone Guy's first call.
      Kaiba: Yeah, shut up, buddy, I'm gonna run this place in a week.
    • Kaiba giving the simplest possible solution to the game...
      Phone Guy:...the working theory is that the robots were never given a proper night mode.
      Kaiba: Well then, fire the guy who was supposed to do that. And then fire yourself because you're annoying me. In fact, I'm fired, too. We're all fired. You get fired! And you get fired! Everybody gets fired!
    • "The bear has the right idea: leave Kaiba the fuck alone."
    • "So far my only friend in this game is the bear. And he is not my friend. I have no friends, only really confused enemies."
    • "Bear."
      Kaiba: *puts on Freddy mask* Whoa. I am the bear. Seto Kaiba is: Grizzly Man. I would have totally nailed that role. And I wouldn't have let the bears eat me, either. I would have punched them in the face! Grizzly Man 2: The Revengening.
    • Kaiba comes across Toy Bonnie after he moves to one of the Party Rooms and criticizes him as being "out of his element". Bonnie does not take this well and decides to get more up close and personal by pressing his face against the camera.
      Mokuba:...But?
      Kaiba: No. No "but".
    • As he sees Toy Chica and Toy Bonnie in each vent.
      Kaiba: I'm being double-teamed by cartoon animals! This is Pegasus's wildest fantasy come true.
    • Joey-er, "Woody Allen" calls Kaiba up to offer advice on beating the game. This distraction ends up getting him killed by Toy Chica.
      Joey: Okay, here's how you deal with those guys. Ya gotta take the mouse, and shove it straight up your butt.
      Joey: Well it is!
      Kaiba: OK, so just who the hell are you supposed to be exactly?
      Joey: Woody Allen!
      Kaiba: Oh yeah, Woody Allen? Go fuck yourse-
      Toy Chica: REEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH
      Kaiba: AAAAAAH! I was killed by a duck! Just like in my nightmares. Damn you, Woody Allen! I mean Wheeler. Damn you, Yugi. I'm gonna beat this game if it's the last thing I do.

     5 Ds One-Shot 
  • Akiza assuming Yusei's suggestive comments are about her (spoiler alert: it's about his bike).
  • Yusei's reminiscence on his time with Team Satisfaction:
    Yusei: It's a long, and awesome story, little one. We used to be in a rock band, called ourselves "Team Satisfaction".
    Yusei: We wanted to have the gayest band name in the world, but "Coldplay" was already taken.
  • The Sound Check:
    Yusei: One night we were set to preform in front of the entire world, but then, we experienced some...technical difficulties...
    Yusei: Okay! Mic Check! Testing, testing, one two three! Jack, you wanna check your mic?
    Jack Atlas: OKAY! TESTING TESTING ONE TWO (Massive Pillar of Light destroys city) THREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE (Pillar of Light is now shooting off into space)
    (Present Day)
    Yusei: The strange part was that his microphone wasn't even plugged in. It was the worst night of our lives.
    Rally: Because the city was destro—
    Yusei: Because none of us got laid! Nobody wanted to sleep with us because they were all too busy burning to death!
    • For the record, the Pillar of Light is from the Zero Reverse disaster. In canon? The reactor suffered a critical meltdown and tore the old city in half. Here? Jack Atlas is just that loud.
    • It happens again:
      Announcer: (on television) And now, ladies and gentlemen, I give you the man who ruined all other men for you...JACK ATLAS!
      Jack Atlas: (on television) TESTING TESTING ONE TWO THREEEEEEEEE—(TV explodes)
      Yusei: You guys owe me a new TV.
      Tank: But that was our TV—
      Yusei: I don't care!
  • The one-man production of Hamlet on a motorcycle. Starring Jack Atlas.
    Jack: TO BE, OR NOT TO BE—ON A MOTORCYCLE! THAT IS THE QUESTION!
  • The multiple captions denying that Neo Domino City in any way resembled Midgar.
    No moogles here man.
  • Jeager's brief scene.
    Jeager: Si, senor Goldwin.
    Godwin: It's Godwin. Damn clowns and their clown language.
    Jack: THAT'S RACIST!
  • The Take That! against GX:
    Jack: YUSEI SAID YOU WERE TRYING TO TAKE OVER THE WORLD WITH DARKNESS.
    Godwin: Please, Jack, everybody knows darkness doesn't work, they tried that in season 4 of GX.
    Jack: THERE WAS A SEASON 4?
  • The other reference to GX:
    Security Guard 1: Hey, is that the guy from Yu-Gi-Oh! GX?
    Security Guard 2: Hey, You just beat up Tal!
    Yusei: Tip! Your! Waitress!
  • The band Jack forms at the end made up of the loudest characters, with Espa Roba, Naruto and Lanipator.
    • "WOULD YOU LIKE THIS BABY? (I'm Lanipator) WOULD YOU LIKE IT, OOOOH?"

     Unsorted 
  • A real life moment of funny at Youmacon 2009, and doubling as Wayne Grayson's Moment of Awesome—one-upping LK not once, but twice!
    Little Kuriboh: It's nice to know that Joey is loved in various areas. (Beat) Wait a second
    Wayne Grayson: That's What She Said!
  • The first Christmas special was absolutely hilarious.
    Kaiba: Happy Hannukah.
  • Zorc and Pals:
    Bakura: What sort of time do you call this?
    Zorc: ...time to DESTROY THE WORLD!
    (Uproarious canned laughter from audience)
  • The entirety of the episode "What Would Yugi Do?"
  • The anime convention episode. Especially with the mentions of hopscotch and badgers.
    Yugi: Rule #5: You must be registered and have a badge to enter main events and rooms. This will be enforced by the staff members and badgers.
    Tristan: Holy (bleep) on a (bleep) sandwich! This convention is run by badgers!
    Joey: That explains everything!
    Tristan: Give us back our hopscotch, you evil badgers!
  • Joey and Kaiba's "smexy" argument.
  • "Joey Vs. Door: Round 2".
  • BROOKLYN RAGE! BROOKLYN RAAAAGGGEEE!
  • REJECTED!
  • "Because...shut up."
  • Whenever the Dark Magician makes an appearance, one of the "Magical Trevor" songs is played. note .
  • The Vagina Monologues. Not for the easily offended— a redub of the first episode, except it replaces certain words with...yeah. It must be seen to be believed. (Made even funnier by the fact that everyone's trying to not burst into laughter while doing it and failing multiple times! You can hear everyone howling with laughter in several occasions.)
    • "I'm here for your vagina, old man, and I won't take 'no' for an answer! Now GIVE IT TO ME!"
      • "I'm a child billionaire, so nobody will even think about my vagina."
      • "That Kaiba kid needs a vagina." "BIG VAGINA!"
    • "Big brother! Is it time for my vagina yet?"
    • "No! It's because the vagina makes no sense and no one can figure out how to do it."
    • "SCREW THE VAGINA, I HAVE A VAGINA!"
    • "My vagina's pretty crazy, too! I'm thinking about shaving it!"
    • "Hey, My vagina's missing."
    • My grandpa's vagina has no pathetic vagina, Kaiba, except maybe for vagina, but it also has a vagina!
    • Vagina...Vagina!!!
    • "In that case, why not just tear up every vagina in the whole world?!"
    • "For some reason, playing a card game has caused my vagina to become severely injured."
    • "Holy Ra! Real vaginas!"
    • "Gentlemen, everything is going according to my vagina."
    • "No wonder your vagina is never around!"
    • "Wait a minute, my vagina's been injured so you're going to steal my vagina and go play Vagina with your arch-vagina?"
    • "It seems the reigning Vagina champion has been defeated by somebody called Vagina. Also, it is time for your vagina bath."
      • "Hmm, vagina~!"
    • "Hello! (Martin begins to lose it) Hello! Vagina Shop!"
  • CARD GAMES ON MOTORCYCLES!!!
    • VAGINAS ON MOTORCYCLES!!!
  • From the April Fool's Day 2010 video:
    Yusei: Jack.
    Jack: WHAT IS IT YUSEI?!!
    Yusei: I came....
    Jack: ...
    Yusei: (laughs)
    Jack: WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT?!!!
  • The epic duel between LittleKuriboh and Dan Green.
  • "Next time, on a very special episode of Zorc and Pals:"
    Bakura: Zorc, what's wrong? You haven't destroyed the world today!
    Zorc: I have a terminal disease!
    Bakura: No! What about our adopted daughter? Who's going to take care of her?
    Zorc: She also has a terminal disease!
  • From the "Silent Night" video, Joey punching Tristan complete with a "SHORYUKEN!" sound effect.
  • LK's review of the first volume of the Yu-Gi-Oh Manga. All of it.
  • The conclusion of the identity of Kaiba's father. Featuring Freeza.
  • The ending of the Inception trailer parody:
    Kaiba: I've got my ego under control.
    Cut to Kaiba jumping down from his dragon-shaped jet onto a crowded stadium wearing a jetpack
    Joey: ...I'd hate to see it out of control.
  • The Deleted Scenes Montage, especially the part where we're shown Joey's thought process, even though it doesn't really do him any good, or the part where Tristan found the remote to Duke's theme music.
    Tristan: (The Pokémon theme plays) I don't even know what that is!
    • The Eff Hole:
      Bakura: Kiss my arse, Marik!
      Marik: But there's poop down there!
    • The consequences of too many TeamFourStar references.
      Yugi: Tristan, we don't take too kindly to references to abridged series not made by LittleKuriboh around here. People who do tend to mysteriously have their kneecaps broken.
      Yugi: With a wrench.
      Yugi: Specifically, this wrench! *holds up large wrench*
    • Then, later. after Tristan makes yet another reference:
      Yugi: Omigosh! Who could have broken Tristan's kneecaps?
      Yugi: With a wrench.
      Yugi: Specifically, this wrench! *holds up large wrench*
  • EVERYTHING about Concrete Giraffes... if you know about The Slender Man Mythos.
    Slender Man: HeY, bAkUrA, hOw'S iT hAnGiN?
    Marik: Wait, wait. You two know eachother?
    Bakura: Unfortunately...
    Slender Man:We WeRe CoLlEgE rOoMmAtEs.
    Bakura: Yes. We used to get crunk and pick up chicks, as the saying goes.
    {Cut to Bakura and Slendy in a dance club, while the song "Twenty Dollars" plays}
    • "Uh Gay Elephant Noise?"
  • Most of the "Ishtar Family Christmas" video. Including the Take That! at card games on motorcycles.
    Joseph: Card games on motor-
    Yami: Don't.
    • Slendy's cameo. "ExCuSe Me, Is ThIs ThE jEsUs ReSiDeNcE?"
    • And then Vegeta and Nappa show up randomly.
    • The ending:
      Hank: Okay, Billy, time to open your present.
      Malik: Let's see...oh, I wonder what's in this long, snake-shaped one?
      Hank: Did you try rattling it?
      Malik: Yes, but it just started hissing at me...rather like a snake.
      Hank: Maybe it's the Buzz Lightyear you always wanted.
      Malik: Oh boy! I always wanted Buzz Ligtye-AAAAAAAAAAAH! IT'S NOT BUZZ LIGHTYEAR! IT'S A SNAKE!
      Hank: Say hello to Cornelius the Secooooooooooooond!
  • From the Snot Him video. Not so much the video itself, but the comments about it. A lot of fans were surprised to discover that the Hair Guy has a name!
  • EPIC SMUG FACE
  • The entirety of this video, Neko Porno. It crosses the line so many times that there isn't even a line anymore, but I'll be damned if it isn't one of the funniest things ever seen. Specifically though:
    • Marik reading the suggestion for the video in a monotone.
    • Bakura and Marik having the conversation about what happened the last time Bakura's email was given out in public. "The fanart" indeed.
    • The random scene changes. "Stick it right in my-" "BEAVER WARRIOR!"
    • Marik saying "Oh no I di'int" to Kaiba.
    • The fanfiction police officer, Ushionote .
    • "This is the best fake sex I've never not had!"
    • Kaiba and Yugi meet "Akefia" in the OOC-prison.
      Akefia: Shall I compare thee to a summer's duel?
  • Kaiba's Winning.
  • Meet the Kaiba.
    • For context, it's a remake of the first episode with all of the dialogue replaced with random TF2 soundbites. And it is glorious.
    • Yugi and Yami get Heavy's voice while Kaiba gets Scout's, in a reference to one episode's Stinger. Unfortunately Kaiba doesn't reprise "BONK! I broke your stupid crap!", but they recuperate that:
      Yami: WHAT'S THAT SANDVICH? KILL THEM ALL?! (whips out Exodia) GOOD IDEA!
      Kaiba: OH GEEZ!
    • Téa is replaced by the Administrator, so when she's talking about friendship we get a hilarious Out-of-Character Moment:
      Téa: You have failed me...with your friendships!
      • Then, a few seconds later:
        Téa: Kill him! Slaughter him like a dog!
    • Tristan is "voiced" by Pyro.
    • When Yami shows up, we get this:
    • The ending. Just the ending.
      Pegasus's Henchman (As Soldier): That was an amazing killing spree...BY THE OTHER TEAM!!
      Pegasus (As Demoman): I'm drunk!
  • "Mokuba was supposed to be there with me, but he had been kidnapped for the fiftieth time that week so his seat was empty."
    • LittleKuriboh even saw fit to put together a montage of a few scenes in which he was kidnapped.
      Kaiba [thinking]: Hmm. Perhaps I should consider keeping him on a leash.
  • NyyyyyyyyyyyyyyYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEH! ... The Audience is from Brooklyn.
  • Kemo's famous line: "Attention, duelists! My hair is assaulting you!"
  • The one-shot LittleKuriboh made for charity, spoofing Neon Genesis Evangelion. It may not be part of the actual series, but it starts being hilarious at about 10 seconds in, and stays that way for the rest of the video. Complete with Slender Man as the Third Angel.
    Slender Man: DoEs ThIs BuG yOu? DoEs ThIs BuG yOu? DoEs ThIs BuG yOu? DoEs ThIs BuG yOu? DoEs ThIs BuG yOu?...
    • Special mention goes to Gendo channeling Mr. Burns. Also a bit of a Moment of Awesome for LittleKuriboh, who managed to so flawlessly imitate Mr. Burns' voice that you'd think he actually got Harry Shearer to play him.
      Gendo: (to Shinji): Who the devil are you?
      Shinji: I want a robot!
      Gendo: Smithers! Release the hounds!
      Fuyutsuki/Smithers: Sir! This is your son!
      Gendo: Oh, of course it is! How foolish of me...ha ha I must be getting old! Now where was I? Ah yes...Smithers! Release the hounds!
    • How Gendo convinces Shinji to defeat the Third Angel:
      Gendo: Shinji! There's only one surefire way to defeat that monster: You have to pretend that it's ME!
      (cue Shinji tearing the Angel apart)
    • And then Gendo's meeting with SEELE at the end:
      SEELE Members: Harumph! Harumph! Harumph!
      Gendo: Gentlemen, I am happy to report that my son was able to defeat the Angel.
      Keel Lorenz: (talking like Emperor Palpatine) Good...Good...Soon the son of Skywalker shall fall, and his journey to the dark side will be complete! Everything is going according to plan! (laughs wickedly)
      Gendo: I'm not quite sure what you're talking about but I like the cut of your jib!
  • Melvin's "hugs".
    Melvin: Now, who wants a hug?
    Tristan: I do!
    Yami: Tristan, no! He's just going to stab you or something!
    Melvin: Don't listen to him, Tristan. He just wants all the hugs to himself.

  • Anything about Michael Bay's Yu-Gi-Oh Abridged. Describing it doesn't do it justice.

  • The Vagina Monologues Episode 2. Like the first one, if they said "Vagina" a couple times it would have been funny. But the fact that they just keep on saying it made it hilarious. Complete with the highly-contagious laughter of Erin Fitzgerald.
    • [singing] "I love vagina, you love vagina, we're a happy vagina!"
    • "Hey, Yug. Tristan's vagina taught me a valuable lesson today..."
    • "I love watching the vagina channel!"
    • "Vagina Kingdom"
    • "I don't even get a training vagina?"
    • "Wait a minute, how do I do the vagina?"
    • "Oh man, his vagina's even more powerful than mine!"
    • "Hey Weevil, check it out. My vagina's horny."
    • "And in order to get you to enter the vagina, I'm going to force you enter a vagina game. Win in fifteen minutes, and I'll release your vagina."
    • "You can see into my vagina!?"
    • "These vaginas battled with real vaginas and real vaginas. So as you can imagine, it was a great deal more exciting than the watered-down vagina I created."
  • Yu-Gi-Oh: The Ebonics'd Series. It has to be seen to be believed.
    • "Da Blue Peeps Whitey Dragon."
    • Tristan's mother truckin' voice is a "fine ass madness".
      • Later, the same word comes up again, turning "Pretty much" into "Fine ass much", and LK's response is "WHAT!?".
    • "Time is spelled with a Y."
    • "Kaiba, if you really done wish ta know...then jive to the hand!"
    • "I'm here for your Blue Peeps OOOOOH... I'm here for your Blue Peeps old N-WORD! And I won't take 'NAAAH' for an answer...
      • "NAAAH."
      • "It's like an episode of The Boondocks!" which is accompanied by an image of Riley with Yugi's Anime Hair.
    • Yugi: "Yo, Game Shop!" (LittleKuriboh breaks character, laughing): "He just becomes Jaden!"
  • Just generally hearing near perfect imitations of epic voices like Yami Yugi's and Kaiba's saying the often ridiculous dialogue.
    Yami: Hey, sweetcheeks, you wanna get off the dancefloor? I'm about to shake my moneymaker.
  • Anime Milwaukee 3.5 —Rules not to be Screwed. Yami asks Yugi what fun could possibly be had at a school, and we get the following:
    Yugi: Come on, haven't you learned anything from living inside my body against my will?
    Yami: Yes, actually. In fact, some of those things I'd much rather forget.
    • The evil badgers and hopscotch gag.
  • The story that Little Kuriboh wrote for the first installment of "Fanfiction Fridays". It features Mickey Mouse and Téa Gardner (the latter by total coincidence, mind you) at the golf course and talking about their new friendship as roommates. Then Mickey makes a passive-aggressive remark about Téa forgetting to do the dishes and it goes downhill from there.
    • In the video reading, Martin uses his Téa voice for her lines and a Mickey impersonation for his lines, highlighting how similar the two sound.
    • The golf course that they're playing at was built around "a dilapidated ACME factory that once produced anti-Road Runner weaponry."
    • Téa's words about friendship when she and Mickey are about to tie in "their golf-themed journey of friendship and unity."
      Téa: Complete and total equality is way better than being superior to someone else! That's what friendship is all about! Being the exact same as each other and not having any differences!
    • Mickey reminiscing about his last meeting with Pete, which involved whacking Pete over the head with a baseball bat, and then skewering him with a garden rake. Such wonderful adventures!"
    • The fact that Mickey is using a "bomb-ass Keyblade" that was lent to him by "that Sora kid" as a golf club instead of an actual golf club.
    • Every time Mickey swears at Téa. "You were bein' kind of a bitch talkin' back to me" and "know when to do the FUCKING DISHES" are highlights.
    • Mickey's Accidental Murder of Téa, when he throws Sora's Keyblade at her face and strikes her fatally because he forgot that Toon Physics don't apply to Japanese anime characters like her.
    • Goofy asking if he and Donald have to bury another girl for Mickey.
  • In episode #10 of Fanfiction Friday, Marin Miller wrote a story about "that handsome devil, Marik Ishtar" and Bob Belcher helping Donald Trump with his new campaign, "Make Anime Great Again".
    • Marin had to set the story on Planet Vegeta, which they know nothing about other than their husband telling them, "it's a planet", leading to a Running Gag about them describing it very inconsistently.
    • Bob and Linda getting Distracted by the Sexy of Marik's handsomeness.
    • Marik introducing himself.
      Marik: I am Marik Sebatian Ishtar! Guardian of the Pharaoh's tomb, then leader of an evil cult, followed by shamed ex-leader of an evil cult AND NOW I am the campaign manager for Donald Trump.
      Bob: Wait, like, the orange guy from Earth who just lost the presidential election last year? Wait, are you from Earth?
      Marik: You are correct, Burger Belcher! I could not stand that he did not win, so I put him here! I think we've got a real chance here!
    • Bob getting called racist twice.
    • Tina being, well, Tina, around Marik.
    • Marik wants to make anime get back to its roots, away from its current focus on conflict-driven plot, emotional depth, and Character Development, considering it Ruined FOREVER because of those changes.
    • The story ends abruptly with Freeza blowing up the planet because she ran out of time to write it.
  • Mai VS Mai. The new season 4 Mai's positive traits are that, because she's evil, she's also quite sexy.
    Mai: Satan, because I'm worth it!
    • There's also Joey's Pros and Cons in general, complete with misleading zoom ins on Mai's breasts and ass.
      Joey: Okay so I love Old Mai 'cause she had those big, impressive character moments that really developed her as a person. Like she started off acting like she didn't need to depend on other people, and she was all headstrong and stubborn, but then she started to understand that friends aren't a weakness and that they can help you get through the parts of life that are too difficult to handle alone.
      Joey: (In response to being asked about New Mai's cons) Well, she's got that enormous, gigantic wall between her and everyone else now. It's like she spent a whole season and a half figuring out how to open herself up to people and now thanks to some evil cult that worships a buncha' rocks, she's gone right back to the start again.
    • And then there's the Self-Deprecation about how Old Mai was "Freakin' hilarious", which just shows Mai making jokes about her breasts while Old Rex yuks it up. She also lived in a tiny shower cubicle in the woods.
      Old Mai: The rent is cheap. Don't judge me.
    • Joey also doesn't think New Mai is funny the way she used to be. He counts her Hotter and Sexier Harpy Ladies as a plus though.
      Joey: Hey. You gonna talk about yer' boobies?
      New Mai: No. You gonna talk aboutcha' dick?
      Joey: ...Probably?
    • The Take That! to Secret Empire.
  • The third official trailer for the English dub of Yu-Gi-Oh! The Dark Side of Dimensions was put on YouTube. The scene contains a news article which mentions an "Exodia Airlines" flight landing. What is the top rated comment?
    LittleKuriboh: AAAA! EXODIA AIRLINES! IT'S NOT POSSIBLE! Nobody's ever been able to fly Business Class on him.
    • The fact that the English dub of Dark Side of Dimensions itself is chock-full of Yu-Gi-Oh! Abridged-style humor.
  • Marik and Bakura Discuss Slender Man is Exactly What It Says on the Tin: basically 5 minutes of Marik and Bakura taking the piss out of the new trailer for Slender Man. In between damning it with the faintest of praise, they claim that they made the movie, and its impending poor quality is a result of Executive Meddling.
    Marik: So, this project was obviously not without its problems, or “hiccups” as we call them in the biz. For example, obviously, the original title for the project was ''Concrete Giraffes'', but the studio took one look at the finished piece and said, “You know, there’s a lot of concrete in this movie, but not a lot of giraffes.” Well, one giraffe, but it’s really far away and also a cartoon character on the side of a Toys R Us billboard.
    Marik: Nonsense! The entire theme of the movie is confusion! Did you even see the trailer? There’s absolutely nothing going on in it, but by golly, is it confusing to look at! So, if anything, all the Toys R Us references would’ve reinforced the theme of the movie.
    Bakura: You mean the theme of “We have no bloody idea what is happening at any given time”?
    • Bakura gets real for a moment when he questions whether or not Slender Man is even relevant anymore. Then Marik chimes in bragging about the Big Budget Beef-Up and his reliance on jump scares.
    Bakura: It was a very long shoot, clocking in at about six and a half years, which obviously explains why this movie is coming out now, the better part of a decade after Slender Man was last cosplayed at a convention unironically.
    Marik: Yes, in the grand tradition of Marble Hornets, Tribe Twelve, Everyman HYBRID, and all those other ones, this film dares to show you a side of Slender Man you’ve never seen before: the side of him that none of those shows had the budget for! See? Now, he doesn’t stand in the background watching you all creepy-like; now, he comes at you and does a weird “booga-booga” thing with his fingers or something!
    Bakura: Yes, I remember you directing Slender Man and telling him, “No, no, make your fingers go ‘booga-booga’!”
    Marik: I’m very proud of the “booga-booga” effect we were able to put in.
  • Yugi and Kaiba recording lines for Jump Force.
  • The Kitsune Kon 2013 video:
    Yami: Indeed. Only a {BLEEP BLEEP} would {BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP} with a {BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP} on a {BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP}, unless they were {BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP}ing a {BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP} Prince William's {BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP BLEEP} with a buffalo. {BLEEP}!
    Joey: Yeah, so no swearing.
    Yami: Why the {BLEEP} not?

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