Kaiba: (over the phone) I kidnapped your grandpa, Yugi, and then I dueled him into submission. So could you get over here and call an ambulance for him? I have far too much money to be expected to do it myself.
Yugi: Wait, who is this?
And also:
Joey: (after Kaiba ripped Grandpa's Blue Eyes White Dragon) What the heck did you do that for?
Kaiba: So that it could never be used against me.
Yugi: In that case, why not just tear up every card in the whole world?!
Kaiba: Shut up and duel me!
This one always gets me:
Kaiba: I'm here for your Blue Eyes, old man, and I won't take no for an answer. Now give it to me.
Yugi's Grandpa: No.
Kaiba: (in a bland, monotone voice) Curses. Foiled again.
What? No mention of this bit of gold?
Tea: Gather round everyone and I'll mark us with a special sign! (Draws a smiley face on their hands)
Joey: Hey, Tea, not for nothing, but ain't this permanent marker?
Tea: Oh...whoops...
Joey: What the heck were you carrying that thing around for anyway?
Tea: I'm a kleptomaniac, I stole it from school.
Tristan: Hey, my wallets missing!
Tea: Kaibatookit!
This troper thought this was the best line of the whole episode, due to a bit of Take That to the original episodes:
Grandpa: Playing a card game has somehow caused me to become severely injured!
"Kaiba, if you truly want to know, then TALK TO THE HAND!!!" (mind crush)
Episode 2
Episode 2: "You bastard ! You turned him into a mime!"
Grandpa: I just hope this isn't one of those cursed videotapes that are all the rage these days...
Pegasus: (on videotape) Seven daaaays.
Grandpa: Oh snap, I knew it!
Yugi looking through Joey's cards, realizing that they're much stronger than his, so he decides to steal them and says to Joey he will 'improve it. Made even funnier when he dueled Pegasus.
Yugi: Now I will defeat you with the cards I stole- I mean that Joey let me borrow.
Rex: Hey, Weevil, check it out; my dinosaur's horny. Huhuh. Geddit?
"Let's see how your Grandpa manages... without his soul!" To a non-Yu-Gi-Oh! fan, that's so out of nowhere, and the delivery is perfect.
Yugi: Grandpa... Grandpa!
Joey: Hey Yug, down in front!
Tristan: Yeah, we were watching that!
Episode 3
Episode 3: "TORRRRRRRRMEEEEEEEEEEENT!"
"Remind me why we're friends again."
"Apply the handbreak, ya dumb broad!"
"You're here, there's noooothing I fear..."
Joey: "Must.. risk.. life.. for cards!"
Episode 4
Episode 4: When Tristan was freaking out about evil rings and hobbits, Tea points out why any of those things would be on the island. Cue shot of Bakura's Millennium ring and little "hobbit" Yugi.
The Kill Bill montage, when Joey asks Yugi if he forgave him for stealing a part of his puzzle.
Yugi: Sure, Joey, sure. *cue ironside theme*
"Now quiver in fear, as my knight's mighty lance penetrates your moist cocoon."
Yami: Yu-Gi-Oh is sponsored by Yugios. They're Yugilicious. Wait a minute, "Yugilicious?" Is that even a word? Yugi:It lets the kids know that they're tasty! Yami: Yes, but "Yugilicious"? Are they supposed to taste like Yugi, or something? Yugi: Yami... Yami: How exactly do you go about testing something like that? I mean... besides the... obvious method... Yugi: Just. Say. The line. You amateur- Yami:Fine. Yugios: apparently, they're Yugilicious. Okay, now where's my BEEPing paycheck?
"Hooray, for censorship!" *Cue 4kids logo*
Episode 6
Episode 6: Mokuba, (Seto's kid brother) has just stolen Yami/Yugi's star chips.
Mokuba: Stealing makes everything better. Yami: No! Wait! Mokuba! You mustn't do this thing! Think! What would your brother say if he could see you right now? Seto (in Mokuba's imagination): Well done, Mokuba! Now steal something from Joey, too! Yami: Okay, but what would he say if he wasn't a complete douchebag?
Can't forget this one.
Yugi: Did you just throw a harpoon at me?
Mako: Um, I didn't want you to leave. And I wasn't sure how else to get your attention.
Yugi: Just ask! Just say "Hey Yugi, could you stay a little longer?" Don't lob a freaking harpoon at me! Seriously. That's like the rudest thing everFing Evah!
And this.
Henchman: (to Kaiba) Don't move a muscle or we'll shoot you with our invisible guns.
Tristan: Hey, Joey! I'm back to watch your card game!
Joey: Hey Tristan! I don't care!
Episode 9
Episode 9:
Bakura: (possessing a card) I've taken control of this woman's body in order to save you guys. And I don't mind telling you it feels bloody great!
Evil!Bakura: By the gods, that's exactly what I want to look like!
Later on ...
Bakura: I shall be a main character! Even if it takes me another two hundred bloody episodes.
The Zorc and Pals opening. "Who's that crazy kook destroying the world? It's Zorc - that's me! - Zorc and Pals." And the ending: "The blood of the innocent will flow without end, his name is Zorc and he's destroying the world." (Just see for yourself!
The entire "Previously, on Yu-Gi-Oh!" opening sequence, complete with terrible subtitles.
Episode 10
Episode 10, where it cuts to a parody of the Neon Genesis Evangelion opening sequence complete with Gag Subs for the theme song:
"The card game's thesis/will soon be set in defense mode/with surging hot life-points/if you activate a trap card/Embracing the Swords of Revealing Light/young boy, play some card games"
Yami: With my Catapult Turtle, I can launch my Dragon Champion toward your castle, shattering its flotation ring thereby causing it to collapse on top of your monsters!
Bakura: This card game is a load of bollocks!
At the end:
Mai: Could I have my star chips back now?
Yami: Only if you beg me. C'mon, get on your knees.
Mai: You're kidding, right?
Yami: Did I stutter or something? Bark like a dog, woman!
Episode 11
Episode 11: When Bakura is introduced as a new student from Britain, a generic student shouts, "Go back to Russia!"
Bakura: You blokes are a bunch of wankers.
When Yugi notes that Bakura's Millennium Ring has begun pointing:
Bakura: Oh, that's just my gaydar. My father had it installed in my Millennium Ring in order to protect me, because I look so bloody effeminate!
Yugi: I wonder why it's pointing towards Pegasus' castle...
Bakura: Bugger if I know.
[cut to Pegasus]
Pegasus: This tournament is simply FABULOUS! Ooh! Let's celebrate by watching the Spice Girls movie!
Croquet: Oh, not again...
And at the end of the episode:
Pegasus:Ooo-oo-ooh! I can sense you, Kaiba boy! And when you get here...I'm going to spice up your life. [Cut to credits as "Wannabe" plays]
The one, the only:
Kaiba:Screw the rules, I have green hair!
After Kaiba defeats Joey:
"You don't know what you're up against. Pegasus is ruthless. Camp... but ruthless!
In Bakura's Flashback:
Bakura: (voiceover) I was watching you play card games with your mates, when my Millennium Ring started pointing towards your Millennium Puzzle! I can't imagine why.
Yami: This Millennium Puzzle is simply FABULOUS!
At the end of each installment, LK parodies Adult Swim's black screen and bold white text between commercial breaks, and lampshades the similarity.
This gem of a Double Entendre conversation after Yugi's Beaver Warrior is destroyed:
Joey: Let this be a lesson to ya Yug. Never, under any circumstances, leave your beaver exposed.
Yugi: You're right Joey. My beaver was on full display. Next time I'll take better care of my beaver.
Tea: I didn't know Yugi had a beaver.
How could we forget this?
Kaiba: Shut up Mokuba. Mommy and Daddy are talking.
And also:
Pegasus: I turned Mokuba into a monster card. And he doesn't have any attack or defense points.
Kaiba: You sick bastard! That makes him even more worthless than Kuriboh. Please, I'll do anything. Just don't release that card into the general public.
We can't forget the Paradox Brothers' famous spinning martial arts entrance... to the tune of YMCA.
Bakura: Oh my, I wonder if those are the gay people?
Yami: Sorry, did I touch a nerve? Why don't you run home and cry to mummy? Oh, that's right! You don't have one!
Kaiba: Yugi! I respect you as a duelist, but if you continue to act like a petulant child, then—
Yami: Hey, everyone! Look at me! I'm Seto Kaiba! I have a dragon fetish and I sound like Brock from Pokemon! Screw the rules, I'm in love with Nurse Joy!"
It's been almost 5 years, and yet this troper still cracks up at the Star Wars opening with "Card Games" replacing the title.
And while on the Star Wars subject, Mai channeling Obi-Wan Kenobi.
Mai: Pegasus' castle. You'll never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. We must be cautious.
Kemo: Attention duelists! You are not duelists! May I please see your identification?
Tea: Me love you long time?
Mai: You don't need to see their identification.
Kemo: I don't need to see your identification.
Mai: These are not the breasts you're looking for.
Kemo: These are not the breasts I'm looking for.
Mai: Move along.
Kemo: My hair is in love!
Mai: (smacking him with her purse) Rejected!
Kemo: WAIT! My hair wants to marry you (runs into the door) OW! My hair!
Episode 16
Episode 16: Pegasus and his hooded cultists chanting "Hooked on a Feeling".
Bandit Keith jumping on the "Fanservice!" wagon.
Bandit Keith: Now, time for a little Bandit Keith fanservice! In America!
He's single, ladies!
(Arrow points to Bakura staring blankly whilst Tea and Tristan talk): Bored out of his mind.
Tristan finds a rope:
Tristan: Hey look, a rope! We can hang Bakura with this! Then we'll have a corpse!
Bakura: That never happened in the Goonies!
Tristan: Well it should have!
The line "This room is for main characters only!" always gets this troper cracking up.
This exchange:
Yugi: Gramps, are you okay?
Grandpa: Of course I'm not okay! You put me in a home!
Yugi: What? No I didn't.
Grandpa: Yes you did! You couldn't stand the sight of me anymore, so you had me sent away! I swear, kids these days! They have no respect for their elders!
Yugi: Grandpa, you're not in a home. You've been kidnapped.
Grandpa: What?
Yugi: Pegasus put your soul into a card, and now he's forcing me to duel him in a tournament to rescue you.
Grandpa: What?
Yugi: Grandpa, is your hearing aid switched on?
Grandpa: What? Just a second, I think my hearing aid isn't switched on.
Yugi: Urg! (punches ground) And now my hand is broken.
The last scene:
Bakura: Now it's time for some Bakura fanservice! (screen goes black) Oh bugger! It's the credits!
Episode 17
Episode 17:
Announcer: Mai Valentine is a seasoned competitor with a long list of victories. Let's take a look at her dueling history. First she faced Joey Wheeler... And lost. Then she went up against Panik... And lost. Her last match before entering the finals was against Tea Gardner, which, of course, she must have won... Oh, my mistake, she surrendered. I think I speak for everyone when I ask: What's wrong with this picture?
Bandit Keith: I pledge allegiance to your death!
Bandit Keith: (falling off cliff) AHHHHHHHHHHHH.........in America! (splash)
Yugi and Joey's duel is brilliant:
Joey: Alright Yugi, I'm gonna give it my all, and try my best against you!
Ýami: Like hell!
Joey: Nyeh?
Ýami: Face it Joey, you're a terrible duelist! You've only gotten this far because I've been telling you what to do! I mean, you've got Baby Dragon in your deck! Baby-freaking-Dragon! I bet you don't even remember why you entered this tournament in the first place!
Joey: Sure I do! Because uh... you told me... to?
Yami: It was your sister, you silly little man! She needs an operation!
Yugi: You can't fix all your problems by Mind Crushing people!
Yami: Oh, come on, just one little Mind Crush, it'll barely hurt him.
Yugi: No! Bad Pharaoh! No Mind Crush!
"It's like HP Lovecraft, only gay!"
Tristan: My voice gives me kung-fu!
Guard: (clanking sound is heard) "Did I hear something just now? Nah, must have been the wind." (clanking sound gets louder) "Yeah, that's definitely the sound that wind makes."
Episode 19
Episode 19:
[As an unconscious Pegasus is carried past by a guard]
Tristan: He died as he lived: draped in the arms of another man.
And in the flashback:
Pegasus: We fell in love instantly and decided to get married. Then when we were standing at the altar, something very unexpected happened. You exploded... Yeah, that was kinda weird.
And later in the episode...
Pegasus: At long last I was reunited with you, my love. I thought my dreams had finally come true. But then, you exploded. Again. You really need to stop doing that.
When Bakura defeats Pegasus... with ANCIENT EGYPTIAN LASER BEAMS!
Pegasus: You took out the wrong eyeball, you fool!
Any moment with Shadi, especially when he's in Yugi's head...
Yugi: Okay, Pharaoh, you can thank me later. And remember, no hickeys! (switches to Yami)
Yami: Huh? YUGI, YOU LITTLE (BEEP)! YOU SON OF A F(BEEP)ING (BEEP) (BEEP BEEP BEEP)! I'M GOING TO TEAR OFF YOUR (BEEP) AND SHOVE THEM RIGHT UP YOUR (BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP) AND THEN (BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP) ON YOUR (BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP) WITH (BEEPBEEPBEEP) IN THE (BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP) AND (BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP) YOUR (BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP) SO THEN YOU'LL HAVE TO (BEEP) SIDEWAYS! (BEEP) (He finally notices Tea staring at him.) Hm? Hi there.
Yami tries to explain to Johnny Steps why he shouldn't go on a date with Tea: "Trust me, Johnny, you don't want that! She'll sing Disney songs and birds will randomly attack you!"
Yami's erm... duel with a milkshake. "Man I hate milkshakes. Die, milkshake, die. That's right milkshake you have been defeated! Now you go to milkshake prison!"
"Brainwashing people is fun!"
Tea: "This is a dream come true! I can't believe I'm on a date with the Pharaoh. I've got the play it cool. That means no friendship speeches. No matter how tempting it is I mustn't do a friendship speech. I mustn't!"
Yami: "Hey Tea, who do you think of-"
Tea: "Friendship is the best thing ever! Don't you agree?" *inwardly* "Dammit!"
Kaiba: *leaning out the helicopter and holding a finger in the air* Don't forget to register and pick up your duel disks, because in exactly one week from to-" *propeller chops off his finger* "DAAAAUUUGH! My finger! It came clean off!
Kaiba: I summon Boar Soldier! Hitosu-Me Giant! Maha Vailo! And... some kind of zebra-unicorn thing. Seriously, what the hell is that!? Whatever it is, I'll be seeing it in my nightmares.
Episode 27
Joey getting Rickroll'd in episode 27. That is all.
Joey: Does it say anything about me on your magic computer box thing? Shopkeeper: Let's see... Rick Astley: ''Never gonna give you up/Never gonna let you down... Joey: That bastard Kaiba Rickrolled me!
In the same episode there's also the Item Get parody where Joey "nyehs" the "treasure chest opening" musical cue from the Zelda games, then the "item discovered" sound cue is heard as he holds the Duel Disk over his head. "Looks like Joey found a Duel Disk!"
Grandpa: While I'm out here sweeping the floor, Yugi's inside talking to his imaginary boyfriend.
And later...
Tristan: I'm sorry, Serenity can't come to the phone right now as she's about to be deflowered.
Does Mako Tsunami have to choke a bitch?
Episode 29
Episode 29:
Young Kaiba: You guys call yourselves bullies? He's not even bleeding! You're all fired, I want you out of this orphanage by tomorrow morning. You make me sick.
Yugi: Losing a children's card game has caused me to have an existential crisis! Tea: I have prepared a friendship speech for such an occasion! Yugi: NevermindI'mallbetternow.
Episode 36
Episode 36 - Joey and Yugi singing one of the lame songs from Music To Duel By at the end.
Don't forget the beginning, where Kaiba and Yugi and riding in a helicopter to rescue Joey:
Kaiba: Come on, lets land on him. It would be funny.
Also the "friendship" drinking game and little counter in the corner.
Marik: Oh, what the (EFF) is this bullcrap?! I wanted to duel the Pharaoh, not this little dickweed! This gives me effeminate fury!
For all the Smarks out there, Sheiky Baby's brief voiceover at the end was pure gold.
Episode 37
Episode 37 is dedicated to Yami Bakura Florence. From the opening segment of Zorc & Pals to the end, it was hilarious. But the clincher was at the end (Florence had summoned Pyramid Head and Zombie Boy had summoned Nemesis. The two monsters didn't exactly "duel".
Florence: Pyramid Head, stop humping Nemesis! I knew I should've had him neutered.
Marik visiting a sleeping Yami Bakura Florence:
Marik: Bakura... I command you to rise and shine, sleepyhead! Yami BakuraFlorence: Oh, great...now the fangirls have started invading my dreams, too... Marik: What?! It's me, you fool! Do I look like a (EFF)ing fangirl?! Yami BakuraFlorence: You really don't want me to answer that.
Their exchange later in that same scene:
Yami BakuraFlorence: Why don't you go buy yourself some more spray-on tan? Marik: HEY (EFF) YOU! This tan is 100% genuine!
We cannot forget Yami Bakura's Dark Knight shoutout, can we?
Bakura: "You sound nervous. Is it the accent? Do you want to know how I got it? My father was a drinker; one night he went a little crazier than usual, so my mummy got the teapot to defend herself. He didn't like that, so he pours boiling hot tea all over her. Then he comes at me with a teapot and asks 'Why so British?'."
Mai Valentine: It finally happened! I killed a man with my breasts!
After her breasts make a squeaky toy sound after landing on Joey.
Jean-Claude Magnum: If you won't marry me, then I'm going to kidnap you instead, since that appears to be the default response to anything on this show!
Yami: Why is everybody in this guy's Deck a @#!*% ninja?
Episode 40 has a few good ones (the nod to LK's AnimeNEXT cameo, Takahata101 guest starring a week after Dragonball Abridged finished the Saiyan Saga), but this troper cracked up at the Destiny Board message jab:
Bakura: The Ouija board is about to spell out a name so evil, so foul, that they had to censor it twice to get it past standards. Now it just says FINAL.
Bakura: How come you're always making that stupid 'Nyeh' sound?
Joey: Nyeh? What stupid nyeh sound?
Bakura: The one you just made.
Joey: Nyeh? What are you talking about, nyeh?
Bakura: You're doing it right now.
Joey: I don't get it. What noise? Nyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh... (over Bakura's next line)
Bakura:The one that's coming out of your mouth at this very moment!
Joey: But I can't hear anything. Nyeeeeeeeeeeeeeh....
"IGNORE ME!"
Episode 41
What about episode 41? That episode had quite a few:
Zach and Cody: "Make him disappear!!!! HA HA HA HA HA HA!". Also, "Oh, faithful trading cards! You're the only real friends I have. Except for you Berfomet, you're kind of an asshole. What's that, Dark Magician Girl? You wanna make out?" Finally, Pegasus asking Shadi why he took him to the Tomb of the Pharaoh if he knew it could break the fourth wall, and Shadi says "I am - how you say - kind of a dick."
Odion: I can only hope you're proud of me [mother]. Marik: She's not even your real mom, douche bag! (Odion gets hit by lightning. The Millennium Rod shatters. Brain Damage by Pink Floyd starts.) Pharaoh: By the gods! The Millennium Rod is made of delicious cheese! (A vision of a young Marik is being taken away as present-day Marik looks on.) Young!Marik: Help me! Odion! Odion: (slowly collapsing) Forgive me, master Marik. I tried. I tried— (Odion faceplants, and the music cuts off) Odion: Ow, my face. Marik: (wide-eyed) Ohhhhhh (EFF)...
And how could we overlook the new villain?:
MarikMelvin: Remember Team Four Star?
Yami: Yeah, they got suspended. So what?
MarikMelvin: That. Was. Me!
(The rest of the cast gives shocked looks, except for Kaiba, who is smiling, with a caption reading +9001 Dead Puppies.)
Marik screaming as he is dragged away for the tombkeeper initiation- while music from Beverly Hills Chihuahua plays.
"Man, even in my own flashbacks I'm a minor character!"
"I'm going to go hold this baby up to the moon! I'm-a pretty sure thaeyt's one of our ancient traditions!"
"Oh my god! Who's Team Four Star?!"
Veronica talking to Odion:
Veronica: Odion, your father does love you. He's just under a lot of stress at the moment with the redecorating.
Hank: Hey Veronica! What do you think of burgundy for the sacrificial chamber?
Veronica: Sounds good, dear.
Hank: You don't even know what burgundy is, do you Veronica?!
Episode 43
Episode 43:
Joey: Hey Kaiba, since Marik entered the tournament under a fake name shouldn't he be disqualified?
Tristan: Don't you be hatin' on mah blackface, playah!
Tea: I am so angry, I could walk away like a pimp!
"Fo shizzah ma nizza! Ma brizzas be off the hizza!"
"Now, using my Millenium Rod, which I keep clenched between my buttocks..."
"Oh no! I'm late for a children's card game! Somehow this prevents me from simply lowering the knife and stabbing him! Punctuality! My Achilles Heel!"
The entire opening to episode 43.
Joey: How bad is it, Dr. Feelgood?
Dr. Feelgood: He was struck by lightning. In the head. It's not looking good.
Tea: We have to help him!
Dr. Feelgood: Medical science is already doing everything it can...
Tea: Screw medical science, I'm talking about friendship!
Dr. Feelgood: I-I beg your pardon?
Tea: Friendship is the only cure for a lightning bolt to the face!
Yami: That's right! Joey was struck by lightning and now thanks to friendship, he's okay!
Joey: Yup! My brain am thinking good with stuff!
Dr. Feelgood: Look, friendship isn't going to cure this man.
Tea: Silence, non-believer! Go back to your leeches and your potions! The power of friendship and Tristan's beautiful singing voice will heal him!
Dr. Feelgood: You guys are morons. Have fun staring at a guy in a coma.
Tristan: (singing) Lean on me, when you're not strong, and I'll be your friend...
And then Kaiba's reaction to Mai getting a hold of The Winged Dragon of Ra Mega Ultra Chicken:
Mai: I use Amazon Chainmaster's special effect to take one card from your deck! And the card I choose is Mega Ultra Chicken! Melvin: What?! Kaiba: Summonitsummonitsummonitsummonitsummonitsummonit Mai: And now, I'm going to summon it! Kaiba: Finally! Geez!
Why don't we just say the entire scene where Kaiba kicks Ishizu's ass at a children's card game is both hilarious and possibly the abriged series' best Crowning Moment of Awesome. Which makes it more hilarious because of how insane Kaiba goes.
Kaiba F(BEEB) DESTINY! I AM SETO KAIBA! I MAKE MY OWN FATE!
Ishizu: How can this be, why would you do this?
Kaiba: BECAUSE A ROBOT FROM THE FUTURE TOLD ME TO!
Ishizu: ...
Kaiba: What? It's just as ridiculous as the crap that comes out of you.
Episode 44:
Ishizu: Our universe has grown tired and cliche. Our characters have become nothing more then vessels for lame catchphrases. For example, Joey saying, "Nyeh."
Joey: Nyeh?
Ishizu: Kaiba saying, "Screw the rules, I have money."
Kaiba: Haven't said that in years.
Ishizu: Or Tristan saying...pretty much anything...
Tristan: God damn it, Nappa!
From the same episode:
Tea: Yugi! What's that thing?
Yami: That's Ishizu! She's the one who told me about my ancient past, even though I kind of already knew about it. She's a mysterious character shrouded in mystery, which is just another way of saying she's boring as all get out.
Duke: I'd hit it.
Marik: Ishizu! Help me!
Melvin: Sorry Marik, but your sister's in another castle!
In episode 44 when Kaiba says "You were never in my tournament, Wheeler." To which Joey responds with a confused "Ah-bah-dah-nyeah?!"
"Now do you understand why so many people love me even though I'm the biggest dick in this entire show? It's because I'm Seto-freaking-Kaiba. Accept no substitutes!"
Ishizu: I'm here to save my brother's soul. He has been consumed by a great evil, and I intend to rid him of it.
Melvin: Good luck with that, chucklenuts! I've been om-nom-nomming on his soul for a good ten years now, and I happen to like the taste. Mmmmm, that's good Marik soul.
Episode 45
Episode 45: two words; IN 3D!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"Sorry baby. I'm a rebel, a loner if you will, and I can't Kill your family. Kill your family. Kill your family."
For this troper, it was actually the shopkeeper's (played by LINKARA!) response to him: "What's the Matter Kid? You Never seen the "Kill Your Family Show" Before?"
Marik finding the yaoi manga. "Hey Ishizu, what's that one guy doing to that other guy? I don't know what it is but it gives me cravings."
"Marik don't flaunt your yaoi in public!"
Before they return home, and Marik is still gushing over his magazine image of a guy on a motorcycle:
Ishizu: Marik, what are you doing? Marik: I'm riding an imaginary motorcycle; what the (EFF) does it look like I'm doing?!
There's also this exchange:
Ishizu: * whispering* Remember, we must be very quiet so that we don't disturb our father.
Marik: HEY ISHIZU LOOK AT THAT THING OVER THERE I WONDER WHAT IT IS!? LOUDLY DO I WONDER ABOUT IT!
Also had the running gag of how Odion, Marik, and Melvin all thought fluffing up a pillow on a bed was a great bluff. Ishizu plays the only sane man here and thinks they are being dumb, which makes it all the more amusing.
Odion: I fluffed a pillow... it's f*ckin FOOL PROOF.
Florence is sharing his body with Marik's soul. Melvin's response to this is:
Serenity: ''(running for her life) GAH! SOMEBODY GET THIS F*CKING DINOSAUR AWAY FROM ME!
Tristan: What a majestic beast. I MUST DESTROY IT! (jumps off the tower) Here I come, Serenity! (lands roughly on its back) Oww, my scroat! This is for killing Littlefoot's mom, you jerk!
Duke:(taking Serenity by the arm) Hey baby, mind if I take your top off real quick?
Tristan: Look, Serenity! I'm finally becoming a (Mad Sword Beast dives into the river) maaaaaaaan!
(The beast does not resurface. Tristan, on the other hand, does.)
Tristan: It wasn't a meteor that killed the dinosaurs—it was Tristan Timothy Taylor!
Caption: Tristan Timothy Taylor. That's his name now.
This exchange:
Duke: Where are all the hot babes?
Tristan: Hm, I don't know, maybe they were all scared off by your CONSTANT BITCHING, DUKE.
Kaiba telling Mokuba to steal Chibi-Kaiba's Blues eyes that Chibi-Mokuba made for him
Episode 50
Pretty much all of Joey's trial in Episode 50.
"Wahh wahh Baby Pharaoh no like blonde man. And someone fetch me a nipple."
"He stole my catchphrase. In America."
Joey making Al and Frank angry by calling them by descriptions of them instead of names
Crump's horrible attempts to seduce Yugi in Tea's body.
When Yugi says that Joey is 'the nicest guy he knows' and 'that he'd never hurt anyone,' we get a flashback to a picnic they had recently, and Joey is looking for his sandwich.
Yami Yugi: I'm sorry Joey... but I believe I ate your sandwich!
Joey: *grabs Yami Yugi* Nyeh, give me back my sandwich, you bastard! *punches Yami Yugi in the face, flashback ends*
Yugi: Mmmmost of the time.
When Joey encounters Johnson as Mai Valentine:
Johnson!Mai: Hello, Joseph. I've been waiting for you. Joey: Mai Valentine, you sound like a man! That is completely normal for this series, but what the hell?! Johnson!Mai: I'm sorry, is it putting you off? Joey: No, I still find you very attractive. Ney! [Mai transforms into Johnson with sound effect] Johnson: It is I, Johnson. Third member of the Big Five and head of the 4Kids legal department. Joey: Okay... Johnson: You still find me attractive, don't you? Joey: A little bit. Ney!
Episode 52: "Grabbing a pipe—" Kaiba grabs a pipe and brandishes it like a sword. "—Come at me bro."
Episode 52: Lector demonstrates Jinzo's ability to destroy internet memes.
Lecter: Let's say we had your motorcycle, Mr. Kaiba. And for the sake of argument, imagine we were both dueling while riding said motorcycle. How would you describe that situation?
Kaiba: Uhh, I dunno, card games on motorcycles?
Jack: CARD GAMES ON MOTOR—WHAT THE AAAAAAGH (gets blown up by Jinzo's laser beam eyes)
Kaiba's 'Like a BOSS' montage, basically summing up his entire character in just a few seconds.
Impressed by rocks! (Like a BOSS!)
Be an asshole! (like a boss.)
This:
Kaiba: (Possessed!Tristan is standing on a roof) Hey, that's that funny guy that says the funny things! Hey, funny guy! Say some funny things!
Possessed!Tristan: (Leaps off building) I'M GOING TO KILL YOUUUUUU!
Kaiba: (Jumps out of the way of Tristan) Hahahahaha, that's classic!
Once again, everything involving Hobson:
Hobson: HOBSON RECOMMEND INVESTING IN INTERNET STOCK.
[...]
Hobson: HOBSON REGRET NOTHING!
[...]
Kaiba: My first order of business: build the ultimate theme park! All I need is a name.
Hobson: HOBSONLAND!.
Kaiba: ...yeah, I'll think about it.
Hobson: YAY!
Kaiba mugging the dreamworks executives for money
"When did this show become amazing?"
Mokuba taking advantage of his kidnapping:
"Chibi Little Man"
Episode 53
Episode 53:
Melvin's repeated attempts to guess the password to open a door
"A locked door?! Impossible!! Wait, no, it's totally possible. What am I talking about?"
Melvin: Behold, Door! I shall now defeat you with my superior mental mind powers! Grant me access, I command youuu!
Gozaburo(Deep booming voice) I HAVE NO SON!Beat(Lightheartedly) Oh wait, yes I do, I just adopted one. (Holds up photo of Kaiba) Isn't he adorable? Now get back to swabbing.
The stingers for the episode - first off being the synching of the Space Core to Astral. Followed by Melvin still trying to crack the password for the door:
Melvin: 1111! *Access denied!* 1112! *Access denied!* 1113! *Access denied!* 1114! *Access denied!*THIS DOOR IS A BITCH!!!
When Kaiba falls into Noah's room from the sky he shouts "Dirt rich!" upon impact with the floor.
These three gems, starting with:
Noah: Seito, how unexpected. And by unexpected, I mean totally expected.
Kaiba: Can it with the Phineas and Ferb jokes, you tiny shorts wearing freak!
Followed by:
Kaiba: Noah's my stepbrother? This is totally unexpected! And by unexpected, I mean totally expected.
And capped off with the end song being "Gitchie Gitchie Goo".
It's also kinda funny that Seto instantly recognizes a P&F reference, yet was completely clueless about SpongeBob SquarePants.
Seto: (sings tunelessly) "Spongepants... Squarebob... he's a friendly little... guy... (speaks) Is that it? Am I close?"
Noah: No.
Seto: Damn it!
Speaking of SpongeBob, Joey randomly singing the exact same song.
Seto tries to distinguish himself from Noah...and fails:
Kaiba learning that Noah was run over... by Serenity.
Kaiba: Did I just watch a snuff film?
Melvin finally succeeding in getting through the passkey-guarded door... Only to find another behind it. Doubly funny when you consider Marik's luck with doors in his Let's Play.
The planned division of the bodies among Team Four Kids:
Evil Tristan: Yugi's body will belong to Gansley. Yugi: Ugh, that freaky fish guy? Gansley: I am not a freaky fish guy! Evil Tristan: Joey's body will belong to Lector. Joey: Neyh! Evil Tristan: Nesbitt will take Tristan. Monkey Tristan: Bananas! Evil Tristan: Crump will take Serenity's body. [Makes slurping noise] Serenity: Meep. Evil Tristan: And Johnson will take Duke. Duke: This is the only time I'm ever going to say this to anybody... but I would never let you have my body. Tea: Wait, I didn't hear my name. Evil Tristan: Yeah, uh, you're free to go. Tea: Why don't any of you want my body? Yugi: I want your body. Tea: Why doesn't anyone want my body?! Evil Tristan: Well, nobody really wants Crump's sloppy seconds. Not even Crump.
Tea trying to persuade Kaiba into going good...with her boobs.
Tristan: Pocahontas kidnapped Joey! Tea: That bitch!
I heartily disagree. The best part was when Yami was looking on at the burning tree's saying "Yes, that's right burn. The rainforest can kiss my pasty Egyptian butt."
"So you're stepping on the map, then?"
Everything is Pocahantas' fault in Crapsule Monsters.
Joey: (after landing crotch-first on a tree branch) Right on the little Joey! Curse you, Pocahontas...
When Yami Yugi is attacked by tree monsters that he finds "strangely arousing":
Yugi: Look out, Pharaoh! There are millions of fangirls taking screencaps of this scene!
Yami: The fiends!
Tristan thinking the Capsule Monsters are his and Tea's children.
Tristan: Perhaps we reproduced without our knowledge?
"What a digital dummy!"
Yami's "invisible bicycle" from Cr@psule Monsters 2.
Yugi: (In thought) God, those eyebrows are huge! I can't stop staring at them! It's like if Martin Scorcese and Jennifer Connolly had a baby! Aaand now I'm picturing Martin Scorcese having sex with Jennifer Connolly... Why do I keep doing that?
The second Season Zero Abridged Episode: They turned Kaiba into a overly friendly, calm and reasonable figure. He even says he would do anything for his little brother. WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE?
Yugi running from the zombies, with a speech bubble above him reading "lol, yugi", and several of the zombies having "lol, brains", whilst "Running in the 90's'" plays in the background, as inspired by a Memetic Mutation from YTMND.
Joey: Wow; an action sequence that doesn't involve a children's card game.
Tristan (after punching straight through a zombie): "HOLY SH** ON A SH** SANDWICH!!"
Joey (running from another zombie): THIS SCENE'S SURPRISINGLY VIOLENT!!
Tristan (breaks his arm free by ripping his zombie in half): Did you see that?! I just tore that guy's f*** ing arm clean off! This is the BEST MOVIE EVER!
"Spining Bird Kick!"
Yugi: "Here goes nothing! (Throws dagger and fails) ....Damn I suck!"
There's also the moments in the beginning where Holo-Yugi and Kaiba are dueling. Kaiba jumps on top of his Blue-Eyes Ultimate Dragon with a "Wheeeee!" and then they have difficulty hearing one another until Kaiba pulls a split screen.
Pegasus flirting with Kaiba.
"There's a man in my head that tells me to burn things."
Bonds Beyond Time Abridged Movie
The opening riffs off of the Let's All Go To The Lobby parody from the Aqua Teen Hunger Force movie, with Yugi, Joey, Tea and Tristan singing in the first half and TEAM SATISFACTION playing through second half.
The BBT abridged movie is hilarious. But my favorite part is Yusei's nightmare.
Jack: C'mon Crow. Let's go play a card game, while standing completely still. On. The. GROUND.
Jaden creates a Time Crash at the end of the movie when he tells Yugi what happens to the Pharaoh at the end of his series. He, Yami, and Yusei are stuck within a white void as another joins them...
The Stinger; explaining any further would kill the joke.
Yami and Yusei getting their Ho Yay on. Complete with Sexophone.
* The time when Yugi explains about the Shadow Realm to Yusei and Jaden and doesn't take it well:
Yugi: You know, the Shadow Realm. The big, purpley cloud place you go to when something really bad happens to you.
Jaden: I think you're talking about Hell!
Yugi: No, it's the Shadow Realm. Y-You know, when people fall from a really tall building, or they get stabbed in the chest... They go straight to the Shadow Realm! What, you guys don't have the Shadow Realm in your future?
Yami tells Paradox there is no way someone would agree to a stupid duel like the one he proposed...Jaden however interrupts and agrees that they will all take part.
How Yugi describes how he can beat Paradox, despite his "superior" skills.
Paradox: Oh pwease! You may be the King of Games in your timeline but where I come from Duel Monsters have evolve far beyond your understanding. Compared to me you are just a learner.
Yami: That may be the case in your timeline, Paradox. But then we're not in your timeline, are we?
LittleKuriboh: We at Yugioh Abridged like to apologize for the lack of 3D content in this movie, however we like to think this is totally justified since 3D is bullsh*t and adds absolutely nothing to the cinema experience. So please, enjoy your 2D movie. Because it's cheaper and much less obnoxious.
Oh HELLS yes. The first four minutes—beginning with the original Yugioh cast doing an old-timey "let's go down to the lobby" style jingle, getting interrupted by the 5Ds cast doing a Death Metal extravaganza, half of which consists of threatening the audience should they commit disorderly conduct while the other half is them gloating over how they now have your money, and then moving into Yusei's nightmare (see the first entry under the film for details) may be the funniest opening four minutes to any comedy movie, EVER.
To give credit where credit is due, this sequence is basically a copy of the opening sequence to Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters. Doesn't make it any less hilarious to see Yusei telling the audience that Satan will rain hot acid down their throats if they videotape the movie they are about to see.
Don't forget if you sell this movie on ebay...Yusei will BREAK INTO YOUR HOUSE AND TEAR YOUR WIFE IN HALF!!!!
Yugi very slowly telling Yusei that they are going to play a card game on the ground and not on a motorcycle. Then goes on to say that he doesn't want Yusei to try and ride his duel disk.
Yami: Now Yusei, I should point out that this card game is not going to take place on a motorcycle. I hope you understand that. I don't want you to try to- ride on your duel disk or something. We're just going to be standing firmly on the ground-
Yusei: I know how to duel.
Yami: Well okay then.
Yusei's reaction whenever Paradox cuts out on him.
Yusei: I totally won that duel back there.
Paradox telling the Pwwotangonists about his intentions:
Yusei: Paradox. Why are you trying to destroy the world?
Paradox: I'm not trying to destroy the world. I'm trying to save it.
Yusei: NOT IF WE CAN STOP YOU— wait, what?
Paradox: In the future, the world as we know it has been destroyed. Humanity's ignorance has made the world become wavvaged, and wifeless.
Yami: 'Wavvaged' and 'Wifeless'?
Jaden: But how? Was it global warming?
Yusei: Nuclear war?
Paradox: No, none of those things happened. What destroyed the world was.... caaaaarrrrdddd gaaaaammmmeeeessss.
Paradox: Well, I wasn't actually there, but I heard that someone played a card game and then BOOM! End of the world. It totally happened. Just like I said. Card Game- BOOM! Everyone dead.
Yami's and Yusei's reaction to finding out that they would either have to lose Card Games or the Entire world:
Paradox: It's either I destroy the card game, or the entire world destroys itself. It is as simple as that.
Yami: Hmmm... The entire world... or card games. Tough choice.
Yusei: There is no choice. Without card games, this world isn't worth living in.
Jaden's introduction.
Jaden: My name's Jaden Yuki, and I'm absolutely flawless.
*Absolutely Flawless
Yusei: Stop being happy.
Jaden: Aint no one in the world as fly as me.
Yusei: I'm serious. Stop it.
Jaden: Bitches line up just to get a glimpse at my sweet moves.
Jaden then goes on to troll Yusei about having not grown up on the streets like Yusei.
Jaden: I go to a kickass school that teaches us how to play trading cards! We get to sleep on warm comfortable beds and get served food whenever we want... awww it's a good life!
Yusei confronts Paradox in Venice and makes some Brick Jokes.
Yusei: Paradox. Paradox: Pwotagonist?! Yusei: I came— Paradox: What?! Yusei: —to the past. Paradox: Oh. Yusei: But I also had an orgasm. Paradox: Ewww! Jaden: Ha! Nice!
Pegasus' song:
Welcome, all you foolish nerds/To the gayest spectacle in the world/I'm making a cameo in this movie/I'm much more fabulous in 3D...
After Paradox has been defeated:
Yami Yugi: Huh... I think we may have just killed a man...
The four times Marik held his Evil Council Of Doom.
And the one time Melvin held it.
Evil Council 3:
Florence, Steve Luna, Steve Umbris, Zork and Rebecca's possessed teddy bear discussing Lost before Marik comes in...
Marik: [Enter] SILENCE! Steve Umbris: Yes, silence! Everybody bow down to your digital ruler! Steve Luna: Bow down, muchachos! Marik: HEY! What part of "Silence!" don't you people understand?! Steve Umbris: The part where you apologize to us for having such a horrible attitude. Steve Luna: That part! Marik: Oh. Well...in that case, I'm...very sorry. Steve Umbris: That's much better. Please continue with your lame speech. Marik: Right, yes. Well, as I was saying...SILENCE! Florence: ...Marik, nobody was saying anything. Marik: It was a preemptive silence! Florence: Oh. So...you silence the silence. Good job. Marik: Yes! That silence didn't know what hit it!
Then, when Dartz and his minions set their scheme in motion:
Dartz: Mah fwiends, dere is only one way to defeat that dooshbag...we will du?? him! (Uncomfortable silence) Rafael: ...um, did you say "do him"? Dartz: I said DU?? HIM! What part of 'du?? him' doncha understand, dooshbag!? We're gonna du?? him! Toogeda! All foh of us, we gonna du?? him. du?? him hard and thowowowy. We will du?? him so hard dat he will feel it in the mo'ning when he wakes up! Alister: Um, boss? Are you serious? Dartz: Yes, you ayzhole! What, you want me to du?? you, too? Alister: No sir! Dartz: Then keep yo' mouth shut, mayn! Okay, mayn?! Yeah. So we're gonna du?? him...on motuhcycles! Valon: Won't that be kind of...uncomfortable? Dartz: (legitimately confused) What the (EFF) are you talking about, mayn? Rafael: Yeah, I...I don't wanna do anybody on a motorbike— Dartz: Duuu??! Rafael: ...are you saying "do" or "duel"? Dartz: DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU??!!! Rafael: ...so, you want us to do Marik? Dartz: Yes! And I will stand here and watch you du?? him! (Beat) Alister: Well, okay then...let's go...do...Marik...I guess... Dartz: Du?? him, dooshbags! THOWOWOWY!
It comes back as a Brick Joke at the end of the video:
Marik: GAAAAH! I AM 100% STRAIGHT! HONESTLY! Alister: ...so, can we do you now? Marik: GET OUT OF MY HOTEL ROOM!
Steve Luna: Jimmy Crack Corn and I don't care, Jimmy Crack Corn and I don't care, Jimmy Crack Corn and I don't care~ Florence: Well if you don't care then please stop bloody telling us about it! Steve Luna: Man, don't be ruining my flow! Florence: Your flow is of no concern to me! I simply wish for you to shut your mouth hole before I nail it shut!
Zorc singing 'Destroy the World' to the tune of A Whole New World from Aladdin.
Dartz is going after...something else...
Dartz: Here's what we're gunnah do, mayn. We're gonna find Yuu-gay Mowtoe, and we're gunnah take his d?ck. (Uncomfortable silence ensues.) Rafael:What. Dartz: His d?ck! You know mayn, his d?ck. We awl got d?cks. You got a d?ck, I got a d?ck, Hell, I could whip out my d?ck right now and show you! Rafael: NO, NO, NO. Please don't, I'll just trust that it's there. Zombie Boy: Uh... is he saying deck or (bleep)? Valon: Eh, sometimes it's best not to ask. Dartz: Now it’s crucial that you guys don’t (EFF) this up. So I want you to cwose yoh eyes and imagine that yoh standing in front of Yu-gay Moh-toe. Rafael:(kneeling) Okay, now what? Dartz: Now, reach out and gwab his d?ck. Rafael:Oh, no. Dartz: And pull it towards you. Rafael: Oh, this can‘t be happening. Dartz: Then I want you to cut his d?ck into three pieces! Rafael:Mother of God! Dartz: And each of you will take one piece of his d?ck and twavel to a different part of the planet. And then his d?ck will belong to us! Rafael: Uh, is...is that it? Can we open our eyes now? Dartz: No, man. There’s one more part to the pwan. Rafael:Of course there is. Dartz: Next, we gonna take Mai Vawentine’s d?ck! (Raphael vomits)
Yugi: (answering the phone) Hello? Yes, this is Yugi Moto. ...you wanna take my what?! No! That's disgusting! ...what do you mean "Does Mai Valentine have one"?!
This part from the third Evil Council video:
Marik: I'm not gay! [Bakura laughs] What? What's so funny?
Bakura: Come on, Marik, we all know!
Marik: Know what?
Rex: Uh, heheh, yeah, we know.
Weevil: Heheh, yeah, we know.
Pegasus: I definitely know!
Marik: Know what? What the hell does everybody know?
Bakura: Marik, I believe it's time you came out of the closet.
Marik: Oh, what, just because a guy likes to dress effeminately and hang around with another extremely attractive man and read yaoi and flaunt his gorgeous abs and stroke a phallic symbol suggestively in every other scene, that automatically makes him gay?!
Bakura: ...Kinda.
Marik: You're all pricks!
Bakura: Well no wonder you like us so much!
Marik: "There are no women in Yu-Gi-Oh! There are only extremely girly men! And I am the girliest of them all!"
Pegasus: "Keeeep, telling yourself that!"
Evil Council 5 in it's entirety, when it's not being a Tear Jerker that is:
Pegasus: (breaking up an argument between Marik and Bakura) Girls, girls, you're both very pretty... But try as you might, you'll never be as pretty as me.
Yugi running away from (apparently) Kemo with Gary Stu: "I really gotta quit smoking."
Whenever the Dark Magician makes an appearance, one of the "Magical Trevor" songs is played. *
For the record, this has happened in Episodes 13 (against the Paradox Brothers), 22 (against Duke Devlin), and 35 (flashback— against Arcana)
.
When they're being chased by the giant boulder, comparing it with the 4KiDS dialogue makes it a lot funnier.
4KiDS version:
Yugi: It got Bakura!
Téa: Oh no!
Abridged Series version:
Yugi: It got Bakura!
Téa: GOOD!
Not necessarily Yu-Gi-Oh, but each episode of the Naruto Spoof Series Comedy Show has quite a few. Just watch! There's too many to list!
This Troper admits he isn't interested in Yaoi, but even I admit that the scene in episode three with Naruto wondering why he likes Sasuke and then doing things confirming this sexual assault... It ended up making me laugh, somehow.
The Vagina Monologues. Not for the easily offended— a redub of the first episode, except it replaces certain words with... yeah. It must be seen to be believed. (Made even funnier by the fact that everyone's trying to not burst into laughter while doing it and failing multiple times!)
"I'm here for your vagina, old man, and I won't take 'no' for an answer! Now GIVE IT TO ME!"
"That Kaiba kid needs a vagina." "BIG VAGINA!"
"Big brother! Is it time for my vagina yet?"
"No! It's because the vagina makes no sense and no one can figure out how to do it."
"SCREW THE VAGINA, I HAVE A VAGINA!"
"My vagina's pretty crazy, too! I'm thinking about shaving it!"
Yugi: Tristan, we don't take too kindly to references to abridged series not made by Littlekuriboh around here. People who do tend to mysteriously have their kneecaps broken.
Yugi: With a wrench.
Yugi: Specifically, this wrench! *holds up large wrench*
Then, later, after Tristan makes yet another reference:
Yugi: Omigosh! Who could have broken Tristan's kneecaps?
Yugi: With a wrench.
Yugi: Specifically, this wrench! *holds up large wrench*
Slendy's cameo. "Excuse me, is this the Jesus residence?"
The ending:
Hank: Okay Billy, time to open your present.
Malik: Let's see...oh, I wonder what's in this long, snake-shaped one?
Hank: Did you try rattling it?
Malik: Yes, but it just started hissing at me...rather like a snake.
Hank: Maybe it's the Buzz Lightyear you always wanted.
Malik: Oh boy! I always wanted Buzz Ligtye AAAAAAAAAAAH! IT'S NOT BUZZ LIGHTYEAR! IT'S A SNAKE!
Hank: Say hello to Cornileous the Secooooooooooooond!
From the third Naruto Abridged parody video:
"Shhh, I'm trying hear the nudity."
From the Snot Him video. Not so much the video itself, but the comments about it. A lot of fans were surprised to discover that the Hair Guy has a name!
Yugi and Yami get Heavy's voice while Kaiba gets Scout's, in a reference to one episode's Stinger. Unfortunately Kaiba doesn't reprise "BONK! I broke your stupid crap!", but they recuperate that:
Yami: WHAT'S THAT SANDVICH? KILL THEM ALL?! (whips out Exodia)GOOD IDEA!
Kemo's famous line: "Attention, duelists! My hair is assaulting you!"
And when Kemo and bandit Keith meet:
Keith: I have ten star chips! In America! Kimo: My hair is inviting you to enter! Keith: Man, that guy sure likes talking about his hair. Kimo: Man, that guy sure likes talking about America.
The one-shotLittleKuriboh made for charity, spoofing of all things Neon Genesis Evangelion. It may not be part of the actual series, but it starts being hilarious at about 10 seconds in, and stays that way for the rest of the video. Complete with Slenderman as the Third Angel.
Special mention goes to Gendo channeling Mr. Burns. Also a bit of a Crowning Moment of Awesome for LittleKuriboh, who managed to so flawlessly imitate Mr. Burns' voice that you'd think he actually got Henry Shearer to play him.
Gendo: (to Shinji): Who the devil are you?
Shinji: I want a robot!
Gendo: Smithers! Release the hounds!
Fuyutsuki/Smithers: Sir! This is your son!
Gendo: Oh, of course it is! How foolish of me...ha ha I must be getting old! Now where was I? Smithers! Release the hounds!
Melvin's "hugs".
Melvin: Now, who wants a hug? Tristan: I do! Yami: Tristan, no! He's just going to stab you or something! Melvin: Don't listen to him, Tristan. He just wants all the hugs to himself.
"Yers! I am henceforth known as the ruler of all doors! Every single door shall bow before me and open at my command! I am the Master of Unlocking!" "Please enter secondary password." "NO!"
"Ohmigod what's happening to my face!? This has never happened before, what the frick!?"
