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Funny: Yu Gi Oh The Abridged Series Season Two
Crowning Moments of Funny for Season 2 of Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series. Please list the examples in episodic order.


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     Episode 23 
  • "Super special awesome plot twist!"

     Episode 24 
  • The Flashback
    High Preist Seto: Pharaoh, your reign of terror is at an end! We Demand that you put on a shirt that covers your manly chest, your making us all look out of shape!
    Pharaoh's Servant: Our king can wear whatever he wants, he works hard for that Physique!
    High Priest Seto: Why don't you marry the Pharaoh if you love him so much.
    Pharaoh's Servant: Maybe I will!
    Seto: "Hey that guy looks just like me! And he has a Blue Eyes, just like me! And he's an asshole, just like me!"
    • "OH MY GOD, A GIANT ROCK!"
      • "IT'S A ROCK AND IT'S GIANT!"
      • "OH MY GOD, ANOTHER GIANT ROCK!"
  • From the same episode:
    Kaiba: Are you trying to tell me that Yugi and I are destined to play card games with each other for eternity?
    Ishizu: Yes.
    • "These are ancient Egyptian spoiler tags!"
  • A Take that at his Hate Dumb
    Mokuba: Hey, big brother, can I watch SpongeBob?
    Kaiba: Shut up Mokuba, I'm busy flagging YouTube videos to compensate for the fact that I have a extremely small penis.
    Mokuba: Oh... I like Patrick.
  • The camera is swivelling around whilst Ishizu and Kaiba are talking:
    Kaiba: Can we stop talking like this? I'm getting dizzy.

     Episode 25 
  • Yugi is dressing up for "his" date with Tea. To quote Yami:
    Yami: You look like someone's bondage slave.
  • Yami's Cluster F-Bomb. To wit:
    Yugi: Okay, Pharaoh, you can thank me later. And remember, no hickeys! (switches to Yami)
    Yami: Huh? YUGI, YOU LITTLE (BEEP)! YOU SON OF A F(BEEP)ING (BEEP) (BEEP BEEP BEEP)! I'M GOING TO TEAR OFF YOUR (BEEP) AND SHOVE THEM RIGHT UP YOUR (BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP) AND THEN (BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP) ON YOUR (BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP) WITH (BEEPBEEPBEEP) IN THE (BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP) AND (BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP) YOUR (BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP) SO THEN YOU'LL HAVE TO (BEEP) SIDEWAYS! (BEEP) (He finally notices Tea staring at him.) Hm? Hi there.
  • Yami tries to explain to Johnny Steps why he shouldn't go on a date with Tea: "Trust me, Johnny, you don't want that! She'll sing Disney songs and birds will randomly attack you!"
  • Yami's erm... duel with a milkshake. "Man I hate milkshakes. Die, milkshake, die. That's right milkshake you have been defeated! Now you go to milkshake prison!"
  • "Brainwashing people is fun!"
  • Tea: This is a dream come true! I can't believe I'm on a date with the Pharaoh. I've got the play it cool. That means no friendship speeches. No matter how tempting it is I mustn't do a friendship speech. I mustn't!
    Yami: Hey Tea, who do you think of-
    Tea: Friendship is the best thing ever! Don't you agree? (inwardly) Dammit!
    Yami: Sure, why not.
  • Téa is being attacked by Johnny Steps:
    Bystander 1: Oh my god, he's assaulting that girl.
    Bystander 2: Let's just stand here and watch!
    • And the follow-up later:
      Téa: By the way, why didn't you help when that guy was beating the crap out of me?
      Yami: I thought it was part of the game.
      Téa: But he was attacking me.
      Yami: I know. It looked like fun.
  • This song, set to the "Something There" song from Disney's Beauty and the Beast.
    "F*cking birds!
    This date is lame,
    It's such a bore
    I'd rather be home playing card games more and more!
    If you ask me,
    Téa's a whore
    But then that's nothing new, she was like that before."
  • Yami: I'm pouting!

    Episode 26 
  • The flashback in Episode 26:
    Baby Pharaoh: (speaking in adult Pharaoh voice) Wah! Wah! Baby Pharaoh wants milk! Somebody fetch me a nipple!
    • He says the exact same thing as an adult in the next flashback.
    Yami: You're just BLEEPing with me, aren't you?
    Ishizu: Indeed I am.
  • Kaiba announcing his new tournament.
    Kaiba: And by the way, everybody competing will be forced to follow the official duel monsters rule book.
  • Kaiba: (leaning out the helicopter and holding a finger in the air) Don't forget to register and pick up your duel disks, because in exactly one week from to-" (propeller chops off his finger) DAAAAUUUGH! My finger! It came clean off!
  • Kaiba: I summon Boar Soldier! Hitosu-Me Giant! Maha Vailo! And... some kind of zebra-unicorn thing. Seriously, what the hell is that!? Whatever it is, I'll be seeing it in my nightmares.

     Episode 27 

     Episode 28 
  • Grandpa's suspicions of Yami.
    Grandpa: While I'm out here sweeping the floor, Yugi's inside talking to his imaginary boyfriend.
  • And later...
    Tristan: I'm sorry, Serenity can't come to the phone right now as she's about to be deflowered.
  • BROOKLYN RAGE!
  • Does Mako Tsunami have to choke a bitch?
  • Kaiba's Attempt to explain the official rules of Duel Monsters.
    Kaiba: Each start by shuffing each others decks-
    Contestant: Boring...
    Kaiba: Who said that?! Who the Fuck said that?! I'm warning you, I won't start this tournament until someone fesses up. Now who said it?
    Contestant: Sorry, that was me. My bad.
    Kaiba: GET THE HELL OUT OF MY CITY!
  • Footsteps*

     Episode 29 
  • This quote:
    Young Kaiba: You guys call yourselves bullies? He's not even bleeding! You're all fired, I want you out of this orphanage by tomorrow morning. You make me sick.

     Episode 30 
  • Yugi and Marik recite the entire opening cutscene from Castlevania: Symphony of the Night.
  • When Yami and Arkana are preparing for their duel:
    Arkana: Here's an old saying among high rollers and card sharks: "Always trust your opponent, but only after you've cut their deck."
    Yami: Oh yeah, here's another saying: "Go F yourself, Arkana".
  • "I spy with my little eye, something beginning with gay clown!"
  • "No! Help! Save me from the completely harmless dark energy discs!"
  • Yami's plan to defeat Arakana by spoiling every plot twist ever.

     Episode 31 
  • This:
    Marik: Now be gone Mr. Tweetums, I'm trying to stalk my nemesis.
  • This:
    Tristan: Yeah, I can break necks with my mind!
  • And this:
    Grandpa: Jeff Goldblum? He's one of the most powerful cards in all of Duel Monsters!

     Episode 32 
  • The redub of Star Trek: The Next Generation (specifically "The Best Of Both Worlds") at the beginning. Highlights include Geordi having Serenity's voice and Wesley saying "The main deflector dish!" in Tristan's.
  • Yugi meeting Marik's new mind-control victim: a mime with lots of piercings.
    Yugi: Marik, you fiend! Why must you use innocent people in your evil scheme?
    Marik/Steve the Mime: Innocent?! Are you kidding me?! Have you seen this guy?! He's got piercings all over his body. You've got to be pretty {EFF} to agree to something like that!
    Yugi: He's still a human being!
    Marik/Steve the Mime: He's also a mime.
    Yugi: Oh. Well, in that case, yeah, I'll kick his ass.
  • The fact that Slifer (The Executive Producer) is reciting Sinistar's lines.

     Episode 33 
  • Marik meeting Bakura for the first time:
    Marik: My name is Marik Ishtar.
    Florence: I don't care.
    Marik: Well that was kinda insensitive! No wonder you're so lonely!
  • Later:
    Yami Bakura Florence: Face it, you're about as manly as a Square Enix character. Shall I call you Captain Basch from Dalmasca?
  • And another in Harpoonshipping.
    Random Kid: Hey dad, I wanna see the freaky fish guy make the whale jump over a rock like in Free Willy *gets hit with a harpoon* Gaaaaaaah!!!
    Joey: Mako!
    Mako: What? That could have been anybody's harpoon!

     Episode 34 
  • "Man, look at the size of that nose! It's like the animators just didn't care!"
  • The two Lunar Steves are spying on Kaiba and Yugi:
    Umbra: Secretly unbeknownst to them, Steve, we are flipping them off below our cloaks!
    Lumis: Yeah man! I'm doing it with both hands!
  • This one:
    Mokuba: I can't believe I've gone almost an entire season without being kidnapped! Wait 'til Seto hears about this!
    Steves: Surprise!
    Mokuba: Oh, me and my big adorable mouth!
  • "Oh, goddammit. I wanted the window seat."

     Episode 35 
  • "Epic Pouting Maneuver" struck me as the best line.
  • I'm the goddamn Kaibaman.
  • "Oohohohooh! If I weren't so very camp I'd probably make a credible villain!"
  • "—YUGI! If you don't let me win this duel, I'll kill myself!!" (deadpan) "Oh no, that would be terrible, whatever would we do without you."
  • The Clip Show:
    Yugi: Losing a children's card game has caused me to have an existential crisis!
    Tea: I have prepared a friendship speech for such an occasion!
    Yugi: NevermindI'mallbetternow.

     Episode 36 
  • Episode 36 - Joey and Yugi singing one of the lame songs from Music To Duel By at the end. (Duke is the fourth Jonas brother!)
  • The beginning, where Kaiba and Yugi and riding in a helicopter to rescue Joey:
    Kaiba: Come on, lets land on him. It would be funny.
  • Also the "friendship" drinking game and little counter in the corner.
    Marik: Oh, what the (EFF) is this bullcrap?! I wanted to duel the Pharaoh, not this little dickweed! This gives me effeminate fury!
  • "And as Yugi filled his pants with urine..."
  • Tristan's Shout-Out to Pulp Fiction.
  • "Ow, that barely hurt!"
  • For all the Smarks out there, Sheiky Baby's brief voiceover at the end was pure gold.
  • "This is for making me waste a perfectly good trading card!" Especially since this is what Kaiba actually says in the manga.

     Episode 37 
  • Episode 37 is dedicated to Yami Bakura Florence. From the opening segment of Zorc & Pals to the end, it was hilarious. But the clincher was at the end (Florence had summoned Pyramid Head and Zombie Boy had summoned Nemesis. The two monsters didn't exactly "duel".
    Florence: Pyramid Head, stop humping Nemesis! I knew I should've had him neutered.
  • Marik visiting a sleeping Yami Bakura Florence:
    Marik: Bakura... I command you to rise and shine, sleepyhead!
    Yami Bakura Florence: Oh, great...now the fangirls have started invading my dreams, too...
    Marik: What?! It's me, you fool! Do I look like a (EFF)ing fangirl?!
    Yami Bakura Florence: You really don't want me to answer that.
    • Their exchange later in that same scene:
      Yami Bakura Florence: Why don't you go buy yourself some more spray-on tan?
      Marik: HEY (EFF) YOU! This tan is 100% genuine!
  • Yami Bakura's The Dark Knight shoutout;
    Bakura: You sound nervous. Is it the accent? Do you want to know how I got it? My father was a drinker; one night he went a little crazier than usual, so my mummy got the teapot to defend herself. He didn't like that, so he pours boiling hot tea all over her. Then he comes at me with a teapot and asks 'Why so British?'.

     Episode 38 

     Episode 39 
  • Episode 39 - Kaiba's two German bodyguards Gruber and Hans
    Hans: Do not disrespect ze Fuhrer or we shall be forced to shoot you in ze kneecaps!
    Gruber: HEIL KAIBA!
    Kaiba: You guys might want to tone it down a notch.
    Hans and Gruber: Ja, mein Fuhrer!
  • Marik asking Odion for advice on how to be bland and uninteresting:
    Marik: Odion! You're the master and being bland and uninteresting! I command you to tell me your secret!
    Odion: I don't know, normally I just stand here and say "Yes, Master Marik!"
    Marik: By god, that is all you do!
  • Yugi talking to Marik:
    Yugi: Seriously, I bet you could grate cheese on those abs!
    Marik: Yes, but the smell tends to linger something awful.
  • "Hahahaha! Soon I shall destroy you all!"
  • "Over-the-top anime reaction!"
  • Ishizu showing up late:
    Ishizu: Sorry I'm late, I was busy predicting the future.
    Hans: Then why couldn't you predict that you were going to be late!?
    Ishizu: Because shut up.

     Episode 40 
  • Episode 40 has a few good ones (the nod to LK's AnimeNEXT cameo, Takahata101 guest starring a week after Dragon Ball Z Abridged finished the Saiyan Saga), Destiny Board message jab:
    Bakura: The Ouija board is about to spell out a name so evil, so foul, that they had to censor it twice to get it past standards. Now it just says FINAL.
    Yami: What did it say before?
    Bakura: DISNEY.
  • Or the poke at Naruto The Abridged Series.
    Bakura: With this in play I can communicate with the dead.
    Yami: What are you going to do, ask the Naruto Abridged fanbase to come kick my butt?
    Yugi: They had a fanbase?
    Yami: Touché.
  • Also the beginning:
    Bakura: How come you're always making that stupid 'Nyeh' sound?
    Joey: Nyeh? What stupid nyeh sound?
    Bakura: The one you just made.
    Joey: Nyeh? What are you talking about, nyeh?
    Bakura: You're doing it right now.
    Joey: I don't get it. What noise? Nyeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh... (over Bakura's next line)
    Bakura: The one that's coming out of your mouth at this very moment!
    Joey: But I can't hear anything. Nyeeeeeeeeeeeeeh....
  • "IGNORE ME!"
  • This:
    Yami: "Hey, Bakura? Any last words before Slifer toasts your ass?"
    Bakura: "I want my mommy..."
    Yami: "That'll work."

     Episode 41 
  • Zach and Cody: "Make him disappear!!!! HA HA HA HA HA HA!".
  • Also, Yugi:
    "Oh, faithful trading cards! You're the only real friends I have. Except for you Berfomet, you're kind of an asshole. What's that, Dark Magician Girl? You wanna make out?"
  • Finally, Pegasus asking Shadi why he took him to the Tomb of the Pharaoh if he knew it could break the fourth wall, and Shadi says "I am - how you say - kind of a dick."
  • Tristan and Duke hanging off a blimp:
    Duke: "OH MY GOD! WE'RE GONNA DIE!"
    Tristan: "Duke, stop screaming!"
    Duke: "I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M ACTUALLY GONNA DIE IN A SHOW ABOUT F*CKING CARD GAMES!"
  • And the moment that doubles as a continuity nod: as Tristan and Duke "I'm Bringing Sexy Back" Devlin are hanging off a blimp...
    Tristan: "Duke, no matter what happens, I want you to know one thing. In another few hours, the sun will rise!"
    Duke: "What the f*ck does that mean?!"
    Tristan: [Crying] "I DON'T KNOW BUT IT'S TRUE!!!"
  • This scene:
    Croquet: Yeah...everyone involved in the production of the Egyptian God Cards was killed.
    Pegasus: What? Even Chad from accounting?
    [Cut to man being thrown out of skyscraper window]
    Croquet: Especially Chad from accounting.
  • Duke and Tristan are still hanging off the blimp:
    Tristan: "Hey, I can see my house from here! Hi Mum, hi Dad!"
    Tristan's parents, who sound exactly the same as him: "Hey, Tristan!"
  • Shadi rescues Duke and Tristan:
    Tristan: "I have a fairy godmother!"
    Duke: "Is she a milf?"
    Tristan: "She looks kinda like Piccolo."
    Duke: "Yah, that's a milf."
  • Pegasus: "Dirty hands! Dirty dirty hands!"
  • "This song is terrible! Don't you have any ABBA?"

     Episode 42 
  • Kaiba's '+ 100 dead puppies', and '+ 9001 dead puppies' captions. As well as 'Egyptian Basketball'.
    Marik: Ancient Egyptian basketball sure is fun, Odion! *Gets bitten by a snake* Ahh! I just wish it didn't involve so many poisonous snakes!
  • The Moment Killer into the Oh Crap when Odion gets hit by lightning.
    Odion: I can only hope you're proud of me [mother].
    Marik: She's not even your real mom, douche bag!
    (Odion gets hit by lightning. The Millennium Rod shatters. Brain Damage by Pink Floyd starts.)
    Pharaoh: By the gods! The Millennium Rod is made of delicious cheese!
    (A vision of a young Marik is being taken away as present-day Marik looks on.)
    Young!Marik: Help me! Odion!
    Odion: (slowly collapsing) Forgive me, master Marik. I tried. I tried—
    (Odion faceplants, and the music cuts off)
    Odion: Ow, my face.
    Marik: (wide-eyed) Ohhhhhh (EFF)...
  • The new villain:
    Marik Melvin: Remember Team Four Star?
    Yami: Yeah, they got suspended. So what?
    Marik Melvin: That. Was. Me!
    (The rest of the cast gives shocked looks, except for Kaiba, who is smiling, with a caption reading +9001 Dead Puppies.)
    • "Oh my god! Who's Team Four Star?!"
  • Marik screaming as he is dragged away for the tombkeeper initiation- while music from Beverly Hills Chihuahua plays.
  • "Man, even in my own flashbacks I'm a minor character!"
  • "I'm going to go hold this baby up to the moon! I'm-a pretty sure thaeyt's one of our ancient traditions!"
  • Veronica talking to Odion:
    Veronica: Odion, your father does love you. He's just under a lot of stress at the moment with the redecorating.
    Hank: Hey Veronica! What do you think of burgundy for the sacrificial chamber?
    Veronica: Sounds good, dear.
    Hank: You don't even know what burgundy is, do you Veronica?!

     Episode 43 
  • Episode 43:
    Joey: Hey Kaiba, since Marik entered the tournament under a fake name shouldn't he be disqualified?
    Kaiba: The only person who should be disqualified around here is whoever made Tristan black in this shot.
    Tristan: Don't you be hatin' on mah blackface, playah!
  • Tea: I am so angry, I could walk away like a pimp!
  • "Fo shizzah ma nizza! Ma brizzas be off the hizza!"
  • "Now, using my Millenium Rod, which I keep clenched between my buttocks..."
  • "Oh no! I'm late for a children's card game! Somehow this prevents me from simply lowering the knife and stabbing him! Punctuality! My Achilles Heel!"
  • The entire opening to episode 43.
    Joey: How bad is it, Dr. Feelgood?
    Dr. Feelgood: He was struck by lightning. In the head. It's not looking good.
    Tea: We have to help him!
    Dr. Feelgood: Medical science is already doing everything it can...
    Tea: Screw medical science, I'm talking about friendship!
    Dr. Feelgood: I-I beg your pardon?
    Tea: Friendship is the only cure for a lightning bolt to the face!
    Yami: That's right! Joey was struck by lightning and now thanks to friendship, he's okay!
    Joey: Yup! My brain am thinking good with stuff!
    Dr. Feelgood: Look, friendship isn't going to cure this man.
    Tea: Silence, non-believer! Go back to your leeches and your potions! The power of friendship and Tristan's beautiful singing voice will heal him!
    Dr. Feelgood: You guys are morons. Have fun staring at a guy in a coma.
    Tristan: (singing) Lean on me, when you're not strong, and I'll be your friend...
  • And then Kaiba's reaction to Mai getting a hold of The Winged Dragon of Ra Mega Ultra Chicken:
    Mai: I use Amazon Chainmaster's special effect to take one card from your deck! And the card I choose is Mega Ultra Chicken!
    Melvin: What?!
    Kaiba: Summonitsummonitsummonitsummonitsummonitsummonit
    Mai: And now, I'm going to summon it!
    Kaiba: Finally! Geez!

     Episode 44 
  • The scene in episode 44 with the Cybernetic Ghost of Christmas Past From The Future.
  • Also, the CSI Miami Riff in the same episode:
    Kaiba: It looks like the rules—(pulls out a pair of sunglasses)—just got screwed!
  • Why don't we just say the entire scene where Kaiba kicks Ishizu's ass at a children's card game is both hilarious and possibly the abriged series' best Crowning Moment Of Awesome. Which makes it more hilarious because of how insane Kaiba goes.
    Kaiba: F(BEEB) DESTINY! I AM SETO KAIBA! I MAKE MY OWN FATE!
    Ishizu: How can this be, why would you do this?
    Kaiba: BECAUSE A ROBOT FROM THE FUTURE TOLD ME TO!
    Ishizu: ...
    Kaiba: What? It's just as ridiculous as the crap that comes out of you.
  • Episode 44:
    Ishizu: Our universe has grown tired and cliche. Our characters have become nothing more then vessels for lame catchphrases. For example, Joey saying, "Nyeh."
    Joey: Nyeh?
    Ishizu: Kaiba saying, "Screw the rules, I have money."
    Kaiba: Haven't said that in years.
    Ishizu: Or Tristan saying... pretty much anything...
  • From the same episode:
    Yami: That's Ishizu! She's the one who told me about my ancient past, even though I kind of already knew about it. She's a mysterious character shrouded in mystery, which is just another way of saying she's boring as all get out.
    Duke: I'd hit it.
    Marik: Ishizu! Help me!
    Melvin: Sorry Marik, but your sister's in another castle!
    Marik: (trapped in hourglass) No! What is this I don't even-
  • In episode 44 when Kaiba says "You were never in my tournament, Wheeler." To which Joey responds with a confused "Ah-bah-dah-nyeah?!"
  • "Now do you understand why so many people love me even though I'm the biggest dick in this entire show? It's because I'm Seto-freaking-Kaiba. Accept no substitutes!"
  • Ishizu: I'm here to save my brother's soul. He has been consumed by a great evil, and I intend to rid him of it.
    Melvin: Good luck with that, chucklenuts! I've been om-nom-nomming on his soul for a good ten years now, and I happen to like the taste. Mmmmm, that's good Marik soul.

     Episode 45 
  • Episode 45: two words; IN 3D!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  • "Sorry baby. I'm a rebel, a loner if you will, and I can't Kill your family. Kill your family. Kill your family."
    • Marik: (monotone sounding voice) Must...kill...family...
    • The shopkeeper's (played by LINKARA!) response to him: "What's the matter kid? You never seen the "Kill Your Family Show" before?"
  • Marik finding the yaoi manga. "Hey Ishizu, what's that one guy doing to that other guy? I don't know what it is but it gives me cravings."
    • "Marik don't flaunt your yaoi in public!"
  • Before they return home, and Marik is still gushing over his magazine image of a guy on a motorcycle:
    Ishizu: Marik, what are you doing?
    Marik: I'm riding an imaginary motorcycle; what the (EFF) does it look like I'm doing?!
  • There's also this exchange:
    Ishizu: * whispering* Remember, we must be very quiet so that we don't disturb our father.
    Marik: HEY ISHIZU LOOK AT THAT THING OVER THERE I WONDER WHAT IT IS!? LOUDLY DO I WONDER ABOUT IT!
  • Also had the running gag of how Odion, Marik, and Melvin all thought fluffing up a pillow on a bed was a great bluff. Ishizu plays the only sane man here and thinks they are being dumb, which makes it all the more amusing.
    Odion: I fluffed a pillow... it's f*ckin' FOOL PROOF.
  • Florence is sharing his body with Marik's soul. Melvin's response to this is:
  • "Argh! The yellow squiggly lines! They burn!"
  • "Oh no! I mustn't have seen that in the dark! Even though I've lived my entire in the dark and should therefore have no trouble seeing in it!"

     Episode 46 
  • After Zork and Pals was cancelled, Zork went on to star in The Suite Life of Zork and Cody.
  • Bakura and Marik arguing over whether or not to hug Evil Marik Melvin.
    • "Hug?"
      • "NO HUG!"
  • This deleted scene from episode 46.
  • Melvin finally gets a word in edgewise.
    Melvin: If you're done fighting with your girlfriend, we have a card game to finish!
    Florence: He's not my girlfriend!
    Marik: You tell him, honey!

Yu Gi Oh The Abridged Series Season OneFunny/Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged SeriesYu Gi Oh The Abridged Series Season Three

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