Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series (Season Five) / Funny

Crowning Moments of Funny for Season 5 of Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series. Please list the examples in episodic order.

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Episode 83 - A Grand Day In

Dark Bakura makes his triumphant return and gloats that after over a decade of waiting and planning his vengeance against the Pharaoh is finally ready:
Dark Bakura: And there's absolutely nothing anyone can to do prevent my—
The Narrator: But first there's gonna be a Filler Arc!
Dark Bakura: Wait, who the bloody hell said that?! Hello? Is that the Narrator from Dragon Ball Z Abridged?
The Narrator: Yeah I'm kinda out of work right now.
The gang having a memorial lunch to pay their respects to Duke Devlin's theme song. Turns out that Youtube's copyright system finally got too wise to them so Duke has to make do with Tristan humming the theme song now.
Upon hearing the phone ring, Professor Hawkins assumes it's "probably one of my relatives calling to tell me they're not speaking with me."
- It turns out to be Bakura, whose attempts at Evil Gloating fall flat in the face of Hawkins' obliviousness.
  Professor Hawkins: Hawkins residence. Sort of.
  Dark Bakura: [Evil Laugh] Foolish mortal! Soon you and the Pharaoh will know what it's like to suffer the wrath of Bakura!
  Professor Hawkins: I'm sorry, who did you say this is?
  Dark Bakura: [flatly] It's Bakura.
  Professor Hawkins: Are you one of Jimmy's kids?
  Dark Bakura: No. I am a child of Vengeance!
  Professor Hawkins: Doesn't ring a bell. Was he at Thanksgiving last year?
  Dark Bakura: That depends; was everybody dead?
  Professor Hawkins: Only on the inside.
Kaiba designing all of his helicopters to sound like him when their propellers are spinning.
The Mythology Gag to Mokuba changing voice actresses in the original dub's fifth season - when he first appears, his voice is suddenly much lower, only to clear his throat and go back to normal, revealing at higher altitudes his voice always gets really dry.
Mokuba mentioning that Kaibaland is about to have its grand opening leads to the cast once again lampshading that the theme park already opened back in season 1.
Kaiba crying over not getting the God Cards.
It turns out that Kaiba Corp's stock actually did drop due to Dartz's hostile takeover. Apparently being easily hacked by a lisping guy from ancient Atlantis isn't going over too well with the investors ("This wouldn't be happening if I had the God Cards!"). Kaiba's solution is to create a card game tournament with a rather appropriate name:
Fantastic
Incredible
Legendary
League of
Elite and
Rare

Accolades
Regional
Championship
The tournament's finalized name is the "KaibaCorp Grand Prix" (pronounced "Grand Pricks"), which starts a Running Gag of someone saying "Grand Pricks" only for Joey to reply "You're a grand prick!" The reason it's pronounced that way is because Kaiba asked Roland to give it a name that has the Kaiba brothers written all over it, and according to Mokuba, Roland insisted that it would lose something if they went with the original pronunciation.
Upon seeing Kaibaland, Téa delivers this Take That!:
Téa: It's like The Wizarding World if it were created by a cold, heartless human being. In other words, it's just like the Wizarding World.
Tristan mentioning his favorite card the "Cyber Commander", which is a Normal Monster with 750 ATK.
Joey: Tristan, ya make us all so sad!
The Duel Robot is painfully slow, which for some players is rather reminiscent of actual AI opponents from Yu-Gi-Oh! video games taking several minutes to just make a single move.
- After losing, the kid in question said that if he wanted to pay $200 just to lose to an A.I, he would have played the mobile game.
The kid who asks Yugi for advice on his deck, showing that he's got a deck full of dragon cards... and nothing else. As in, not a single trap or spell card at all, making the entire deck virtually useless. And he still can't grasp why he's always losing.
- When the kid challenges the Duel Robot only for the entire building's power to shut down almost immediately, Joey snarks that the kid's crappy deck must've broken the computers.
- Later on when the robot gets hacked, Yugi's response to Mokuba saying that it had been programmed with the combined skills of their previous opponents is to point out that mashing the different strategies into a single deck meant that it pretty much shot itself in the foot with the conflicting playstyles.
- After defeating the robot Yami claims that, since it had Raphael's play style programmed into it, that technically means Yami got his win back and is now the uncontested King of Games again.
When Leon and Yugi first meet, Yugi says that the first time he gave a complete stranger his complete trust, said stranger threw his Exodia cards off a boat. Leon asks if Yugi still has those Exodia cards, and when Yugi says no, Leon assures him that he wouldn't do that.
When Kaiba notes that since Mokuba is trapped inside his amusement park, something he created, this technically means this time around he's the one who's gotten Mokuba captured.
Kaiba: I should have known. You either die rescuing Mokuba, or you live long enough to be the one who kidnaps him!
The Running Gag where characters give derogatory names to "Heart of the Underdog" to describe Joey, such as "Heart of the Giant Bitch," "Heart of the Pathetic Loser," "Heart of the Stupid Dumbass," "Heart of the F*cking Idiot," "Heart of the Human Garbage Pile," and finally, "Heart of the Limp-D*cked Beta Cuck." And Joey is naturally so dense he can't figure out it's supposed to be based on him, even when Mokuba flat out tells him at one point. He thinks it refers to Kaiba or Bakura, and at the end of the episode, he thinks it's referring to Téa.
- It gets to the point where even Tristan gets it.
Joey: I don't get it. Who is this friend that Yugi keeps talking about?
(Everyone laughs behind Joey's back)
Tristan: Just ask yourself who Yugi's dumbest friend is.
Duke: And pretend Tristan doesn't exist.
Joey: I'm so bewildered. Who can it be?
Mokuba: IT'S YOU!! IT'S LITERALLY YOU!!
Joey: It could be anybody!
- And when Joey asks Yami to clarify, Yami switches back to Yugi, causing Yugi to repeat Yami's Cluster F-Bomb way back from episode 25.
In this version Zigfried and Leon have very exaggerated German accents and are very bad at hiding their identities with Leon slipping in front of Yugi and Zigfried outright introducing himself as "Zigfried von Shroeder" to Kaiba.
Kaiba's glorious diss to Joey to ensure he's not part of the tournament is taken straight from the original dub. However when Mokuba points out various pieces of Fridge Logic, Kaiba shows just how far he is willing to go to ensure that Joey can't compete:
Kaiba: Anyone who is late for registration will be disqualified. Mokuba, make sure Wheeler is late.
Mokuba: We don't have registration for this tournament, bro, the brackets are already set up.
Kaiba: Then create a registration process and make Wheeler late for it.
Mokuba: But what about all the TV networks that have been promoting the big match-ups?
Kaiba: Mokuba, go to all the TV networks and make them erase all that footage, and then create a registration process and then make Wheeler late for it.
Mokuba: But what about all of the promotional materials we already sent out everywhere?
Kaiba: Mokuba, go collect all the posters and commercials and Internet Ads and put them in a big pile, and then set fire to the pile, and then go to the TV networks and tell them to erase all that footage, and then create a registration process and then make Wheeler be late for it.
Mokuba: But bro—
Kaiba: I don't know how much more simple I can make this for you, Mokuba.
Kaiba mistaking Zigfried for Pegasus even when Zigfried tries to correct him, only for Zigfried to realize that he truly is way too similar to Pegasus.
Zigfried: Look, just because I'm this rich flamboyant businessman with this gorgeous long flowing hair und this silly voice who has taken a fascination with your company und I live in a castle und I'm always giving you this sex eyes while trying to usurp your role und that doesn't mean… well I guess I can see why there is the confusion.
- It gets better. Kaiba doesn't just mistake Zigfried for Pegasus, he refuses to believe that Zigfried isn't Pegasus.
The introduction of the Grand Prix competitors: Leon (whom Roland Lampshades must be important to the plot, since he's already appeared earlier in the episode), Fortune Salim (Roland makes fun of him for using a crystal ball because the show constantly states that magic isn't real unless it's from ancient Egypt), Shane Jordan (Roland lampshades the idea of a card-game playing cowboy, then tells the audience to watch 5D's), Brock Lesnar… apparently, Sherlock Holmes for some reason, Abe the Monkey Man (who scares the crap out of Holmes), Doctor Detroit (Roland points out that he skipped multiple emergency surgeries to attend, and Joey mocks him for wearing a mask in public in this day and age), and "coming to you from a bootleg version of Fist of the North Star" Ethan Shark (who has totally no relation to Shark from Yu-Gi-Oh! ZEXAL. And speaking of Yu-Gi-Oh ZEXAL, you should really watch Yu-Gi-Oh 5D’s)!
- Special note to Ekaf Eman, who is very clearly Grandpa in a mask.
  Yugi: Okay, who let him out of the basement?
- Vivian Wong's Designated Villain status is alluded to by Tea's line (made especially ridiculous since Vivian, at this point at least, hadn't even displayed any Jerkass behavior the way her official series counterpart did):
  Tea: Finally, someone I don't want to be friends with.
- Putting the matter to rest once and for all, Joey Wheeler is confirmed to be from Brooklyn, Japan. And he does his creepy chin again!
  Joey: My face is a meeeeeeme!
- At Kaiba's request, when Yugi is announced, Roland brings up that Yugi canonically has the worst win-loss record out of all Yu-Gi-Oh protagonists.^note He even acknowledges that it's not relevant to the tournament; Kaiba just thought everyone should know.

Episode 84 - The Curious Case Of Ekaf Eman

When the camera at the stadium cuts to him, Tristan goes off on a spiel about the sponsors for this video, earning him a Dope Slap from Tea.
Tea: Not every camera is YouTube, Tristan.
Seto announces that Kaiba Corp. is launching an NFT line (with very ugly art of the Blue-Eyes White Dragon), prompting the entire stadium to boo at him. Seto immediately announces that they are retiring the NFT line and everyone starts cheering again.
Kaiba: Yeah, that's right! I have immediately flip-flopped on my decision! Clearly I am the greatest businessman who ever lived! A prodigy! Praise me!
- Worst part is that Tristan apparently bought a few before this.
Since, during Kaiba's speech, Yugi (for some reason) is in the audience, and not on stage with the other participants, a group shot of them includes instead Nigel Thornberry dressed up like him.
What little we see of Doctor Detroit and Leon's duel is pretty hilarious.
Dr. Detroit: I'm afraid even if you win this duel you'll still owe me about twenty-five thousand in copay.
Leon: Vas das f*ck?
Unlike the original, Joey can clearly see that his masked opponent is grandpa with the only one fooled being of course Tristan (and even Tristan isn't fooled at first; he just takes Grandpa's insistence that he's a young person completely at face value to the point that he doubts his own previous assertion that "Ekaf Enam" is Grandpa).
During his rush to get to the duel in time, Joey sings Duran Duran's "Hungry Like The Wolf" to create a montage and get there faster, only to find that Mokuba beat him there. Mokuba claims he used the Kidz Bop remix of the same song, which is much shorter.
- The reason Joey was late was because he wandered off to get some food, and assumes the hot dogs he's eating were originally rice balls or some other Japanese food that were edited to something a western audience would know. Nope, the hot dogs were part of the original episode, as lampshades by Mokuba.
- In the jungle, Joey is attacked by a swarm of bats, and thinks they're gay people.
  Tea: 15 years later, and he still gets those confused...
Throughout the duel, Grandpa keeps trying to pretend to be a young man instead of the geriatric he clearly is. At one point, he complains about an old war wound acting up, only to backtrack and claim it's a skateboard injury.
Joey lampshades how one of Grandpa's cards, The Legendary Gambler, is clearly modeled after him, and how weird it is that the card even exists.
Joey: Who's making these cards for you?!
It turns out Grandpa was not actually invited as a participant, but got lost at the airport and took the actual participant's luggage.
Yugi discusses how his grandfather taught him everything he knew about Duel Monsters… which he then had to throw out when actual rules were implimented.
In the actual anime, there's a scene where Arthur is staring in silent awe at the duel. The Abridged Series has instead has the same shot of him being an episode of post-traumatic stress syndrome, which he got from the bikers blowing up his house in the previous season.
Arthur: On an unrelated note, can I move into the basement with you?
Once it is clear that Joey has won the duel, Grandpa tries to surrender with dignity. Only for Joey to attack him out of revenge for having to mop the game shop every time Grandpa taught him the game, which fits perfectly with the rather ignoble end of the actual duel, which ended with Joey sending his Goblin Squad to attack Grandpa's Life Points directly, portrayed by them giving him a group beating and leaving him groaning in pain on the ground.
Grandpa: AHHH! My skateboarding war wound!
Yugi and Yami commenting on how cringe it is that Grandpa assumes a different persona when dueling.

Episode 85 - BechDuel Test

The episode opens with a dramatic narration of the epic Final Battle from the original manga between The Pharaoh and The Thief. Then it suddenly cuts to Yami Bakura still waiting at the table where their fabled showdown is supposed to take place.
Yami Bakura: So, with that in mind: Where the bloody hell is he!?
DBZA Narrator: Who? Yugi?
Yami Bakura: No, Danny Phantom. Of course Yugi, you disembodied imbecile!
DBZA Narrator: Oh! Well, uh, he is... Kind of busy.
Yami Bakura: With what? What could possibly more important than facing me — his nemesis by the way — in the closing moments of our story?!
DBZA Narrator: Uh... He's at a theme park.
Yami Bakura: Oh, he's at a theme park. (beat) WHY IN BUGGERING BLAZES IS HE AT A THEME PAR—
[Bakura gets cut off by the opening]
"For some reason, getting horny over a video game character has caused me to become severely injured!"
Arthur: Don't worry! This isn't the first time Solomon's lust for Chun-Li has gotten him hospitalised. And I'm sure it won't be the last. You go watch my granddaughter play a card game.
Yugi: Oh, but I don't want to.
Arthur: (genially, but with a clear threatening undertone) Did I stutter?
In the middle of Rebecca's duel against Vivian, Joey starts giving unsolicited advice on how to play Duel Monsters, even after Rebecca straight-up refuses.
Joey: Hi, girls! Did you girls need help figuring out how to play the card game?
Rebecca: No, thanks. We're good.
Joey: OK. [beat] So the most important thing to remember is that you got 8000 life points, which sounds like a big number, but like Yugi's grandpa once told me "Joseph, in about three turns you're not gonna have any left, so don't worry about doing any counting."
Yugi tries explaining how Chain Links work, only for Joey to perceive his explanation as slowed-down gibberish.
Vivian summons Dragon Lady, which immediately grabs Kaiba's attention. He's a lot less interested when she's more lady than dragon... but decides he can still fap to it.
After Rebecca wins, there's a shot of Sherlock Holmes having defeated Shane Jordan (the cowboy guy), and Joey says they should have watched that duel instead, as it sounds way more exciting.
The gang wonders why the park is so strangely empty even though there's a major tournament going on. Turns out Kaiba locked all the other visitors in the Kaiba Dome so they'd be forced to buy food and merch while watching, with most of them collapsing out of heat exhaustion.
Kaiba: Weird, that usually only happens to my employees...
- Speaking of which, Roland informs Kaiba that some of his employees are threatening to strike. Kaiba then orders Roland to tell Mokuba to get the hose.
  Roland: To use on the employees or on the park guests?
  Kaiba: Yes.
Zigfried accepting Rex and Weevil's challenge.
Mokuba: You're saying you're gonna let em duel you?
Zigfried: [makes a high pitched ululation]
[Mokuba stares blankly]
Zigfried: Zat is European for 'yes'!
Rex: We're gonna kick Revolutionary Girl Utena's ass!
After Zigfried wipes the floor with Rex and Weevil, he declares his intention to "fuck everyone in this tournament, especially Seto Kaiba." Kaiba retorts with an angry rant over how he's never been fucked by anyone... over the PA. He tries to cover it by blaming it on Wheeler.
Roland: Yes sir. I will let everyone know you have been fucked and Joey Wheeler was involved.
Kaiba: Yes, that's exactly— NOOOOOOOOOOOO!
The Stinger of the episode has Yugi get through his whole explanation of Chain Links, only for Yami Yugi to chime in with how he doesn't need to explain the rules of how that worked cause they're already on the fifth season^note. Yugi then retorts why Yami Yugi keeps saying "It's Time To Duel" every time they're about to duel, to which Yami replies with "how else will people know what time it is?"

Episode 86 - Joey vs The Volcano

Roland lampshading the fact that the duels are taking place in theme park rides and not the giant arena, much to the anger of the audience. There's also the fact he very vocally makes these complaints while he fails to realize his mic and live feed are on, which he immediately tries saving face afterwards, though still ends up being on the receiving end of the crowd's ire.
Roland: Folks, please stop setting fire to things? It'll ruin the tournament for everyone. Especially the folks who are on fire.
Joey thinking it'll be easy for him to win since all his opponents are tiny and square shaped as they appear on the tournament screen. He's proven wrong when Zigfried is just there in the room.
Joey: He is significantly less tiny and square shaped than I was led to believe!
Rebecca: TBH I'm surprised you even know your shapes.
Téa lamenting her social circle.
Téa: I need more female friends. Sadly I am in Yu-Gi-Oh.
Zigfried trash-talking Joey before their duel.
Zigfried: I look forward to pulling random cards out of a big pile of my cards to get rid of your cards and make the numbers next to your face go "blelelelelele" and then "bloop!" because there are no more numbers. Not that I imagine you could count them.
Joey: I know plenty of numbers, man! 2... 14... Kunai with Chain!
Tristan pulling him back from the argument.
Tristan: Joey, calm down! I can feel your nipples right through your jacket you're so tense!
Joey: For the last time Tristan, stop going right to my nipples every time you wanna know how I feel!
Rebecca's dialogue for this episode consists mostly of stereotypical Zoomer speak who act like they're livestreaming their experience on Twitch.
Rebecca: Well chat, it's time I go kick some jabroni ass! Don't forget to post hashtag beckysweep when talking about my duel, okay?
Téa: Did you just call us "chat"?
Rebecca: Téa doesn't understand. She's not poggers like us, right Yugi?
Yugi: I'm not sure what any of those words are, but absolutely.
Kaiba's hate-boner for Sherlock Holmes, due to him entering the public domain and making Kaiba no longer able to purchase the rights to his likeness.
Mokuba telling the gang to keep an eye out for anything strange.
Mokuba: We think someone's trying to sabotage the entire event, so guys please let me know immediately if you see anything remotely strange no matter how trivial-
Tristan: (interrupting) I saw something strange!
Yugi: Tristan... is it my hair?
Tristan: Nnnnn-yes.
Mokuba: Okay but if you see anything weird that isn't Yugi's hair let me know.
Yami: You know it would probably look way badass if you took that front bang and propped it up like a cool lightning bolt or something.
Yugi: Pharaoh, please let my have my thing.
Roland gets his words mixed up when announcing the next round, but it doesn't stop Joey from continuing his new Running Gag.
Roland: Now that we've successfully doused all the flames, it's time to get fired up for the next four rounds of the Kaiba Pricks Grand Corp!
Joey: You're a Grand Corp!
Roland in true Kaiba Corp style assuring the audience that the ghosts and supernatural entities in the Haunted House duel arena are not real.
Roland: The scariest thing about this attraction is how many OSHA violations we made building it.
Sherlock Holmes' opponent is "a character whose name we had to Google to remember".
Joey's entrance to the Volcano arena, singing 'nyeh' repeatedly in tune to the light carnival music that plays.
Kaiba watching the duels simultaneously.
Kaiba: With this many screens I can watch all the Yu-Gi-Oh, and when I've watched all the Yu-Gi-Oh, I will become Yu-Gi-Oh... god I need more hobbies.
When the duel starts, Joey bricks his first hand, an experience many Yu-Gi-Oh players would be familiar with.
Joey: Alright Zigfried I hope you're ready, cuz Lady Luck and Joey Wheeler have been going steady since 1996! So let me just look at my opening hand here and- (it consists of two monsters he can't summon without tributes and four spell cards useless for this situation) oh ssshhhhhhhhhhh-urely this will work, I play one card face down and end my toin.
Téa: That's all he's gonna do?
Yugi: You heard him, he ended his toin.
Téa: But that's not gonna do anything.
Tristan: His toin is over, Téa!
- Even better is that this image isn't edited. Joey genuinely did brick his hand in the original series.
When Zigfried's plan goes into motion, his internal monologue has an interesting turn of phrase.
Zigfried: (looking at his watch) And now that the little hand and the big hand are kissing each other on the mouth with tongue, Operation F*ck Everything Up is about to begin!
Kaiba: Oh no! The computer is suddenly showing me meaningless charts and graphs! This is exactly what happens when someone hacks things!
Abe the Tarzan Boy duelist saying that he was really hoping to duel Rex and Weevil for the potential of so many "spank the monkey" jokes.
Kaiba doesn't really have his priorities in the correct order when things go wrong.
Roland: Mr. Kaiba! The hacking has caused the tournament to suck even more than it already did! What are your orders, sir?
Kaiba: (fiddling with something offscreen) I'm trying to do my laundry, can this wait?
Kaiba's flashback to when he first met Zigfried, back when Kaiba was "cute as shit". Child Zigfried earned Child Kaiba's ire by bragging about having "parents who love him", then making the lights on the chandelier flicker and laughing about it.
Kemo: (whispering to Gozaburo) Attention duelists. My hair believes that the lighting system for the building has been hacked.
Gozaburo: But that's stupid! Only a child would find that impressive. Like, a really dumb child.
Present Kaiba: (voiceover) It was the most impressive thing I'd even seen. If only my flashback wasn't filmed in black and white, I'd be able to recognize whoever that was.
Yugi has his priorities straight when talking to Yami.
Yami: Joey had best watch his ass. He's not taking Zigfried nearly seriously enough.
Yugi: Oh come on, you are not that much taller than me. Who is animating this episode?
Zigfried bringing out his monsters to attack, naming them after the Spice Girls.
Zigfried: Allow me to introduce my Valkyries. First up it's Sporty Valkyrie, she likes long walks on the beach and DESTROYING YOUR MONSTERS! Then we have Posh Valkyrie. She has lots of money and is fashionable and she also loves ATTACKING YOUR LIFE POINTS DIRECTLY! And thirdly...
Joey: Let me guess, Baby Valkyrie?
Zigfried: Nein... I mean ja.
Yugi: He is not beating those Pegasus ripoff allegations.
Kaiba notes that the technobabble the technician is spouting at him is complete crap, like he's just saying lines written by someone who has no idea how hacking works. Instead, Kaiba insists the report be given in card game terms.
Technician: Oh, uh, the uh, we have attacked the virus' life points directly and it is currently unable to fight back because we activated Swords of Revealing Light.
Kaiba: Oh well why didn't you just say so in the first place? Idiot.
Even Kaiba's chair gets hacked. According to him, anyway.
Kaiba: Hang on, you hear that? (swivels) there's a squeak. Roland I don't know how, but they hacked my chair. Get the antivirus.
Roland: Sir...?
Kaiba: You don't hear that? (swivels) It's hacked. Unhack it now.
Roland: ...are you going to get off the chair first?
Kaiba: No.
Zigfried naming his three Goddess spell cards after The Powerpuff Girls, pronouncing Bubbles as "Boobles".
Tristan of all people holding the Sanity Ball and being the only one of the heroes to acknowledge that Joey's deck sucks and complains about everyone constantly making references.
Joey's monster Sasuke Samurai (which Joey mispronounces as Suzuki Samurai) essentially being Sasuke from Littlekuriboh's version of Naruto Abridged.
Sasuke Samurai: (with Moonlight Sonata playing and speaking in monotone) Nobody will ever understand the pain I feel. The pain of having my name be mispronounced by a young blonde Brooklyn native from Japan. Damn you Joey Wheeler. I will get you back... somehow.
Joey reverting to his old strategies, much to Yugi's dismay.
Yami: Joey's come a long way as a duelist. It would be a shame to see him fail now.
Yugi: Yeah. So long as Joey doesn't fall back on all his old strategies like rolling dice and using nothing but monsters, he'll be just—
Joey: Graceful Dice! Skull Dice! Whatever this Dice is! Monsters! Monsters! Nothin' but Monsters! Even more Dice somehow!
Yugi: Joey no! Think of everything you've learned since you started! This is like you're going back to square one!
Joey: Sorry, Yug! I can't hear you over all these rolling dice.
Yami: I can't believe that guy beat me offscreen.
Yugi: Oh, I'm so glad you said "screen".
Zigfried after he defeats Joey.
Zigfried: Auf wiedersehen, Joseph. I'm going to walk away all confident now (tosses a flower backward with a comical swing noise) but I actually have no idea how to get out of here.
Kaiba admitting that Joey is a decent duelist is something he isn't willing to accept.
Mokuba: Wow, Joey lost in the second round!
Kaiba: Oh, that's BS, man! Joey is a way better duelist than that, he deserves better. I mean— uh...Oh, no! Someone must have hacked my brain! Uh... Mokuba! Do something.
Mokuba: It's OK to say Joey is a good duelist, bro.
Kaiba: Yeah... yeah. He really is. [beat] Never say that to his face, though.

Funny / Yu-Gi-Oh! The Abridged Series (Season Five)

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