Funny / Girl Genius

Mad scientists rule the world. Hilariously.

As a Moments subpage, all spoilers are unmarked as per policy. You Have Been Warned.

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First Journey:

Volume 1: Agatha Heterodyne and the Beetleburg Clank

• The filing system.
  Gil: That's the worst filing system I've ever seen.
• "Oh, help. I-hav-been-ceptured-by-a-clenk. Help. Help."
• Agatha gets an escort.
  Agatha: They sent you out to eat me! WAAAAAAA-
  Jagermonster: Hy em not gun eatchu.
  Agatha: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
  Jagermonster: Onless dots de only vay to shot hyu op!
• "Leedle recoil problem dere, sir!"
• "He threw a bomb at me..."

Volume 2: Agatha Heterodyne and the Airship City

• The falling machine.
• Othar's debut, in which he first presumes that Agatha is the Mad Scientist's Beautiful Daughter before introducing himself.
  Othar: But I'll escape eventually. I am the hero, after all. And you are just what I need.
  Agatha: An audience?
  Othar: Ye— no!
• Agatha's reaction to Barry first giving her the locket just sums up the worldview these people have so well. Keep in mind Agatha was five at the time...
  Barry: Now, Agatha — this is important. You must always wear this.
  Agatha: But why?
  Barry: Because... because as long as you do, your parents can...protect you.
  Agatha: Really?
  Barry: Really.
  Agatha: But how can they protect me if they're not here? That's illogical.
  Barry: Um, it's...science.
  Agatha: Ah, you mean you'll explain it to me once I have a sufficiently advanced background education.
  Barry: Er... yes.
  • Doubles as a tear-jerker if you know what the locket does to protect her:
    Agatha: Uncle Barry—are you crying?
• Othar's reaction here.
  Othar: No one ever takes me to parties.
  Gorb: Hokay, ve haff our own. You ken be de pinata!
  • Prior to that, Gorb's partner berates him for thinking of killing Agatha for being a witness of Othar's imprisonment, and all the subsequent murdering they'd need to do. The clincher is Gorb is more concerned that he'll lose his hat as a result.

Volume 3: Agatha Heterodyne and the Monster Engine

• Bang, right from the moment she "introduces" herself.
  DuPree: Ta-daa! I am here!
  • This, of course, following on with the Running Gag of the Baron being interrupted in the middle of his research, and his growing exasperation with it.
• Even better, her Establishing Character Moment on the next page makes sure that even the slowest reader knows what kind of person she is.
  DuPree: Ooooh, he asked me to help! A wise choice! Nobody knows more about torture than me!
  Baron: I believe he expected you to rescue him.
  DuPree: What- Is he stupid?
  Baron: A bit.
• Agatha accidentally starts up a fencing clank, and is told the heart needs to be hit again to deactivate it. Her response is simple - "I don't fence."
• On the run from Slaver Wasps, Agatha is more than a little disappointed that Gil doesn't have so much as one measly little Death Ray.
  Agatha: What kind of an Evil Overlord are you going to be, anyway?!
  Gil: Apparently a better one than I'd thought...
• "FOUL!"
  • "FOUL!"
• In a bit of Bathos, Klaus relates the devastation he came back to in the Heterodyne boys' absence - with baby Gil in a back carrier and a goofy smile on his face.

Volume 4: Agatha Heterodyne and the Circus Of Dreams

• Lucrezia's facial expression in the last panel here.
• After Abner convinces Gil that Agatha is dead, Gil offers to escort him back to the circus, only to be baffled when Abner states he would rather just return on his own. Considering the wastelands are littered with wild clanks and that it's the middle of the night, it's certainly not very smart to be out alone. He lets him go when Abner admits he finds Dupree scarier.
• Zeetha begins Agatha's training via a quick translation.
  Zeetha: Sort of like "Teacher and student." Sort of like "Cause and Effect." Mostly, like "Grindstone and Knife." (Whacks Agatha with her staff)
  Agatha: Not good.
• This strip, if you're familiar with Baba Yaga and Russian fairy tales.
  Agatha: Why do you even bother keeping this running?
  Circus Member: We need the eggs.
• Everything about this page.
  • "Horse! Pie! Horse! Pie! Horse! Pie!"
• Agatha performs her first reading - it's a bit overwhelming.
  Agatha: She... tea cozy... forty-three hours... only one spoon... how... eek!
• "Sorry — vos ve supposed to catch him?"
• Augie desperately trying to convince Da Boyz that he's okay and doesn't need help calming down.
  Abner: How are you, Augie?
  Augie: WONDERFUL! NEVER BETTER! CALM AND COLLECTED!
  Dimo: (leaning in real close, smiling) Hokay.

Volume 5: Agatha Heterodyne and the Clockwork Princess

• "'I hitt Mr Larz' (syned) a Brik."
• The Jagers give some coaching to Punch's actor.
  • Apparently he took it to heart as he later suggests that Punch give Mirandola's Oration on the Dignity of Man during a performance as a bit of irony.
• Immediately after, Payne's wife plays coquettish about wanting to know his plans regarding said Jagers before casually threatening him with a Frying Pan of Doom.
• When the Sturmvoraus count requests the carnival for a play, one of the carnival-folk suggests they play a quite risqué play, hoping that it will get them kicked out of town fast. Then Sturmvoraus sends a message not only requesting that same play, but also that they "tart it up".
• Agatha sits down to dinner with the local royalty and inexplicably begins telling them everything about herself (including things she didn't even tell the carnival-folk she's been traveling with), then falls face-down into her torte. Turns out she's been slipped truth-serum in her wine. As she's being dragged off, she tells the prince she thinks he's cute. This seems like a silly throw-away moment. However, she actually does, setting up the Love Triangle later on.
  • Aaronev then suggests maybe that he used too much and Tarvek gives him a "you think?!"

Volume 6: Agatha Heterodyne and the Golden Trilobite

• Krosp learns about sewers.
• This gem.
  Bang: Heya, Klaus! Ready to go slaughter a whole buncha people?
  Klaus: If it becomes necessary.
• A special mention for the men carrying Anevka's squishy bits.
  Oggie: Who vants to be my friend?!
  Geisterdamen: [draw swords, hissing]
  Henchmen: [immediately raise their hands]
• That's a messed-up ecosystem, man.
• In the Deep Down, we get an Overly Long Gag in the form of - "AAAAH" in a variety of ways.
• Blink and you'll miss it, but while the Geisterdamen are moving slaver engines through the tunnels under Sturmhalten, one of them can be seen lazying about in a cart.
• With Dimo missing an arm, Zeetha worries that Jaegers only let a Heterodyne fix them. Oggie is about to blab that they've already found one, but Dimo shuts him up by punching him.
  Dimo: Hokay! Right arm, still feelin' goot. Thenks, Oggie!
• The storyteller's oubliette song. And the entire rest of the scene:
  • His explanation of why he's in prison.
    Maxim: Vot hyu in for?
    Phil: Bad storytelling.
    Maxim: Ho! How hyu do dot?
    Phil: You put the prince in your story.
  • The end of the scene:
    Phil: Whelp-The day can't get any weirder.
    Oggie: GREAT-GREAT GRANDSON!
• The scene of Lars finding out Agatha's actually a Heterodyne. Especially the last panel.
• The return of the calming pie:
  Agatha: ... still calm.
  Chef Taki: Yay, me!
  Klaus: There you are! DIE!
  Agatha: Astonishingly, still calm.
• When making a dynamic exit via airship, Agatha expresses some dismay.
  Pix!Lucrezia: Agatha, hold on! We didn't know you were afraid of heights!
  Agatha: I'm not! But I've got cat claws in my butt! Let go!
  Krosp: You must be joking.
• Once aboard, Master Payne's wife mentions that it was remarkably easy to steal because who would be fool enough to try?
  Oggie: Hey! Iz like hyu wife iz callink hyu a fool wit-out ektually-
  Payne: You cannot possibly be as stupid as you act.
  Oggie: ...ken if I vants to be!

Volume 7: Agatha Heterodyne and the Voice of the Castle

• "[Airman Higgs] dragged your father and Dupree ashore, where he encountered a nesting goose—which broke his other arm."
  • And such dangers from a large bird protecting its young are Truth in Television!
• Zeetha and Agatha have a good discussion on the merits of training during an arduous trek to Castle Heterodyne:
  Zeetha: Hmf. Somebody's been neglecting her training.
  Agatha: ...I so don't care.
  [next panel, with Agatha in an all-out sprint up the mountain and stars of pain emanating from her backside]
  Agatha: I CARE! I CARE!
• Agatha's reaction to her first cup of coffee. And when she starts to slowly get down again...
  Agatha: Say, could I get another cup of coffee?
  Von Mekkans: NO!
• Coffee shop report scene
  Vole: Dere haff been three explosions so far, sir.
  Gil: [happily] Agatha!
• The Spark Roast coffee sequence, complete with Von Mekkan's "PERFECT SAUCER!" and "Vid a Nize Kick!".
• "Now I vill not just keel HYU - Now I keel EFFERYVUN! ....Hey....Dot is verra gud coffee."
• While laid up in the hospital, Klaus tells Gil that every woman with the Spark he's ever met has tried to kill him.
  Gil: Father... maybe it's you.
  Klaus: [Thinks about this.]
  Klaus: [Thinks some more.]
  Klaus: [completely honestly] ...No... no, I don't think so...
• Dupree has her broken jaw wired shut.
  Klaus (having a boyish smile of glee): Good Heavens. I wouldn't miss this for the world!
  • The novelization takes it up a notch; Her jaw's not broken, Gil and Dr. Sun just decided to shut her up for a while. Klaus actually begins to laugh, but due to his injuries, he nearly literally busts a gut.
• When discussing on how to get Agatha into the Castle as a 'prisoner', Carson muses about how initially the imprisoned workforce were marched in and out each day, but that inevitably attracted bookies and other merchants of misery who set up outside the gates and capitalised on the situation. It was making Mechanicsburg look bad, but just as the Town Council were trying to work out how to get rid of them without raising the Baron's ire — the Baron himself abruptly solved the problem, by having all the bad characters rounded up and marched into the Castle as well.
  Carson: And none of them ever came out. Klaus was never really good at subtle.
• The second coffee shop report scene.
• "Jenka, vy for iz Füst runnink away?"
  Jenka: He vot?
• "Trade entrance. Invade In Front"
• Jenka and da Boyz help Gil with the 'Mysterious Disappearance After the Battle' ending.
  Jenka: Iz dis de first time hy faced down an entire army all by hyuself vit a veapon hyu vasn't sure vos gonna vork?
  Gil: Well, yes...
  Jenka: Vell den. Dot's just hyu body bein' all surprized hyu ain't all blowed up and dead! Next time, hyu von't even blink!
  Gil: Next... I really think I have to lie down now.
  • The same scene has da Boyz reminisce about previous conquering attempts, and just how stupid it is for someone to try and conquer Mechanicsburg.
    Oggie: Hah! Remember dot "X de Destroyer" guy? Who thot dot Big "X" on de ground vos vere he should set up hiz tent?! Hee!

Volume 8: Agatha Heterodyne and the Chapel of Bones

• Agatha's "alibi" for why she was sent to Castle Heterodyne.
  Sanaa: Really? Oh, man, we need a good cook! Guy doing it now's a mechanic - and he's a complete idiot. I'd rather eat his engines. ... So - what did you do to wind up here, anyway?
  Agatha: Poisoned thirty-seven people — who complained about my cooking.
  • The current cook turns out to be Moloch von Zinzer, who is... more than a little inept when around Wilhelm.
    Wilhelm: It's amazing we get anything to eat at all, really.
  • So much so that he completely failed to register that Agatha is the new prisoner.
• After utterly kicking the crap out of Vole, Gilgamesh responds to Dimo's appreciation of his methodology.
  Gilgamesh: My father once wrote a monograph on how to communicate in the workplace.
  Dimo: ...iz dat so?
  Gilgamesh: All seven Popes ordered it burned.
  • Agatha H. and the Voice of the Castle gives a name to the monograph. It's "Don't Make Me Come Over There". Explains a lot.
• Da Boyz on relationships
  Maxim: Excellent! Hy vill teach him how to impress de gorlz!
  Oggie: Hy vill teach him about de birds ud de veasles!
  Dimo: [whispering] Und Hy vill teach him how to avoid those two.
  Jenka: Ah. Den he might have a chence.
  • Even funnier since Oggie is the only one of the group that actually had been successful with women, if his great-great-grandchildren are any indicator.
• Gil's Fabulous Hat: "Hey- NIZE HAT!" "That's it. Everything's going to go boom."
  • He's then introduced to Krosp and Vanamonde, with the latter not quite over that perfect coffee Agatha brewed up.
• Klaus goes for a stroll. The real kicker is Klaus's Indignant "What?", as if he's genuinely got no idea why Sun's getting so upset.
• Krosp talks Gil into keeping his hat by pointing out that the Jagers made it especially for him as a symbol of their respect.
  von Mekken: Krosp, that was very diplomatic.
  Krosp: Are you kidding? It makes him look like an absolute idiot!
• "HYU KNIFE, BRODDER!" "RIGHT HERE, BRODDER!"
• Technically they're called "fun-sized mobile agony and death dispensers."
  • Later on, Agatha gets in on it: "Excuse me? Those are my fun-sized mobile agony and death dispensers, they're works of art!"
• "Here's your boot, your majesty."
• Gil and his friends from Castle Wulfenbach have just demonstrated why Sparks under the influence of their own alcoholic creations are up there among the most hilarious things ever: "We forgot the crowd!"
• You know that trick with laser pointers and cats? So does Agatha.
• And when they return with a crowd (one which, admittedly, thinks Gil is a traveling circus performer):
  Theo: Gil, you're making me nervous.
  Gil: How can that be? A jolly entertainer like myself? A spreader of mirth?
  Theo: At least stop smiling. It's creepy.
  Gil: But everyone is having such a good time!
  Theo: If you look like a demented idiot, no-one will take you seriously.
  Gil: But no-one does that now!
• And then he actually talks to the guards...
  Gil: Hi! I'm Gilgamesh Wulfenbach! Can I please go into the castle?!
  Guard: NO.
  Gil: There, everyone! You heard me! I asked nice!
  Guard: Wait—You're who?
  KRAK-BOOM
• And how they assembled the crowd - Gil popped a "Jolly Fun Oxidation Enhancer" on Zeetha's back to make all her metals go poof. Unfortunately, he'd mistakenly used a "Wacky Weave Destabilizer" instead, but figured that it meant Defeat by Modesty... not knowing that Zeetha is fine with a Full-Frontal Assault, even with a crowd assembled.
• Agatha is not pleased about how Gil's knocking on her door.
  Agatha: Hey, you kids! STOP HITTING MY HOUSE!
• TA-DAH!
• Next strip: it looks like Mechanicsburg wholeheartedly ships Agatha/Gil. Complete with Unwanted Assistance to Gil, though naturally Zeetha is having way too much fun to stop.
  Gil: Don't help me!
  • Moloch's only take-away from Gil's actions. "But where'd he get that great hat?"
• This one.:
  • Moloch:
  Moloch: He'll learn. 'specially since, when she punches, she puts her hips into it.
  • It's also where Violetta argues that Agatha wouldn't possibly want two boyfriends:
  Violetta: Oh please! A boyfriend is an accessory. You don't go around wearing two hats.
  Moloch: Oh yeah? I saw this Jäger...
  • And Agatha responding to speculation: "WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOU TWO?! ARE YOU TWELVE?!"
  • Violetta asking hesitantly, "Can I have a pretty dress too?"
• Hole in the wall? Been done. Hole in the wall and the turret behind it? Much better. Hole in the wall, the turret, and a faraway mountain? Inspired.

Volume 9: Agatha Heterodyne and the Heirs of the Storm

• When Zola dismisses Baron Wulfenbach's son, talking about how he was ranting and frothing like a lunatic in Beetleburg, Gil winces; both remembering that moment (definitely not his best) and realising the unflattering reputation he's created for himself.
• The expression on Gil's face when presented with an interesting challenge.
• In the middle of a conversation with Agatha, the castle starts rambling about yurts due to Gilgamesh messing around with its systems.
• The castle's rather... unique interpretation of human romance.
• "I love Christmas!"
  Mittlemind: Oh, please! What do you all take me for? I'm obviously not talking about the control group!
• "A bucket? Again? OK, I'm comin'.
• The last three panels of this strip pretty much sum up the entire mentality behind the comic.
• The one thing that can make even supergenius adventure heroes back off? A really ugly spider the size of a human head.
  Agatha: Well, we've got to do something.
  Gil: Yeah, this is just embarrassing everybody.
  • The fact that the spider has a knife and fork. And the explanation for why it has a knife and fork. Because it will paralyse and eat people, but it does so with impeccable table-manners.
  • Nyar!
• That smug condescending snake Tarvek. "You know him?"
• Tarvek turning green with a delirious, but appropriate comment.
  Gil: And of course, I'd hate for it to be boring...
• This strip.
  Agatha: And then the cascade effect that usually kills everyone and sets the lab on fire probably won't even have a chance to begin! This has a small, but fascinating chance of actually working! Let's do it!
  Gil: This'll be great! I can get killing him out of my system and give him a hard time about it later!
  • Especially the end line: "No, No! It's going to be all right! We're just going to kill you and then you'll be fine!!"
    Tarvek: That's brilliant!
• Von Zinzer continuing to be the voice of reason: "Spooky girl's all yours, pal."
• After Zola and the Professor escape from imprisonment.
  Tarvek: I can't believe it! The Order has obviously been planning this for years, and you completely underestimated the girl they groomed to be the Heterodyne?
  Agatha: You obviously haven't met her.
  Gil: Oh yes he has! Your fake Heterodyne is Zola La Sirene Doree.
  Tarvek: What?! No, that was that idiot from the island of the...
  (Beat Panel)
  Tarvek: She is good. Agatha, she's going to be trouble.
• Pointing out to an insane A.I. that it's being illogical only encourages it.
• Gil and Tarvek's sequence of throwing each other out of the way.
  Tarvek: Um — who exactly threw who back there?
  Gil: Don't question it!

Volume 10: Agatha Heterodyne and the Guardian Muse

• The doctor taking care of Klaus, right here.
• Apparently, Lucrezia grew up with a clockwork toy snake that 1. was able to eat a grown man, 2. she named "Mr. Hissyfit", and 3. she thought would be a neat gift to her nephew.
• Moloch, from Vol.7 and up. Highly Genre Savvy and also the only non-spark (and thereby the least insane one) of the main cast; always the one to come up with practical solutions to the problems at hand; which drives the sparks mad.
• ...most likely.
• Moloch and the bucket.
• "...Then one day, while sacking a castle, I was ravished by a wild princess..."
  • In the same arc Maxim tries to steal Old Man Death's hat. He fails twice but succeeds the third time by outwitting him. Who saw that coming?
  • Even funnier since Dimo later says that intelligence is something frowned upon among monsters. Maxim would never tell a single soul he actually was a "schmot guy".
• Zeuxippe, granddaughter of Old Man Death. Maxim hits on her after she hits him, and offers a ride...
  Maxim: On my horze! Iz a nize horze!
  • Just the fact that Jägers apparently also have an actual rulebook about fighting Old Man Death. Including ruling about what to consider Zeuxippe in regards to the fight.
    Maxim: She is categorized as course hazard! Like in dot krezy game vere dey hit stuff mit sticks!
    Old Man Death: ...Piñata Jousting Polo?
    Maxim: Dot's de vun!
  • After all of it, Maxim manages to walk away not only with a new hat, but Zeuzippe's number.
• Moloch is surprisingly grounded when around Sparks, a trait that Snaug happily assures him means he has a natural talent for being The Igor.
  Moloch: DAAAAAH!
  Agatha: What in the world is Snaug doing to von Zinzer?
  Violetta: Like I care!
• When Agatha's mini-clanks have a new spark-clank master, the other sparks nearby start worrying. "They are building! Designing! Spitting in the face of the creator! Warping science!" "...so..." "They're taking our jobs!"
  • "We are doomed." "DOOOOOMED." "DOOOOOMED!"
• Violetta playing a chaperone (Made even funnier if you recall the title of one of Gil's favorite books):
  Violetta: Whose adolescent slave-girl fantasies are we indulging here, anyway?

Volume 11: Agatha Heterodyne and the Hammerless Bell

• CHOPHEAD TINYBITS! *spak!* ...nom?
• How is Zola still moving? This is how.
  Zola: HATE! Hate and drugs! Lovely, lovely drugs!
  • Paging Warren Ellis, Mr. Ellis to the red courtesy phone.
• Two from one page:
  • It's subtle for a Boob-Based Gag, but look at Gil and Tarvek's faces after Agatha says "this thing is heavily reinforced."
  • When Agatha is shocked by the idea that Zola has poison, Gil replies with "I always thought she just couldn't make coffee, but now, I'm not so sure."
• How they find the nervous system connections in the library.
  Tarvek: Oh, great. So all we have to do is figure out where an evil insane genius would put a secret room.
  Agatha: True. Well, let's try to think like a diabolical, paranoid, amoral megalomaniac. ...where would you put it?
  Tarvek: Oh. Well, here. But—
  [SHOONK]
  Agatha: Ha! Perfect! Thanks, Tarvek!
  Tarvek: Now just a minute!
• As Tarvek prepares to throw the switch that will transfer the Castle's consciousness from Otilia's head, Agatha stops him and insists that she should be the one to do it since it's her Castle. Tarvek reluctantly agrees, but his grumpy attitude about the whole ordeal prompts some rather... interesting dialogue.
  Agatha: Hee — you don't like a girl throwing your switch?
  Tarvek: Don't be ridiculous. These are modern times.
  Agatha: I promise I'll throw it in a very manly way.
  Tarvek: I... I don't think that's actually necessary... Or even possible...
• Lord Selnikov is immediately rather put out by the fact that he's now a Brain in a Jar (albeit with the rest of his head), but he's pretty good at looking on the bright side.
  Selnikov: None of my old friends will be in if I call (the wretched snobs). Even my wife won't--
  Beat
  Selnikov: Say— can I get a brass plate that says: "Reanimated Abomination of Science" bolted to my forehead?
• This.
  Gil: You're up to something.
  Tarvek: What makes you think I'm—
  Gil: You're breathing.
  • And the fact that the construct they were fighting was part of the nursery, which, as Tarvek notes, explains so much about the Heterodynes.
• This page.
  Castle: You are now nearing what I believe to be a major problem area.
  Tarvek: Um- You think?
  Gil: Wait. This is Castle Heterodyne. Maybe it's supposed to be on fire.
  Castle: FIRE?! AAHHH!! PUT IT OUT! SAVE MEEEE!
  Tarvek: ...apparently not.
• Lucrezia is very Genre Savvy.
  Zola!Lucrezia: But he's [Barry Heterodyne] been missing for years. He's no threat—
  [both Lucrezias freeze and look around in terror]
  Anevka!Lucrezia: Do you want him to show up?!
  Zola!Lucrezia: Ooh. So sorry, dear. I can't think of what came over me!
• "FOUL!"
• "Well, there's always the torture room."
  • The man who, on the whole, is absolutely unfazed at the prospect of being beaten and tortured copiously has one thing he cannot stand: being forced to stand around in a waiting room that is out of waiting numbers and has inappropriate music.
  • Bit of Fridge Logic, every other room is called a Happy Fun Room. Except this one. The Old Heterodynes couldn't stand it either!
• Dimo admits he was listening at the door "like a grett beeg sneeky pents". And the reaction?
  General Zog: Dimo! Hy am shocked at dis behavior!
  Boris Dolokhov: Still, it was rather clever of him...
  Zog: Hy said hy vos shocked!
• General Khrizhan's idea for getting the Other out of Agatha's head. He knows how pipple vork!
• Vanamonde being led home by an assistant.
• Remember the fire? It was on purpose. The Castle just forgot.
  Agatha: Well, thanks for the lovely surprise bath, then. ...And my ancestors...did they ever build anything small?
  Castle: Hmm... Well, the Master's bedroom only sleeps six...
  Agatha: I am so sorry I asked.
• Tarvek is constantly having to put up with Violetta's painful remonstrations whenever she's angry with him, and because she's so much more physically powerful, he has to put up with it. Until he changes the rules.
• Immediately after, Gil and Tarvek have a long talk about being Manipulative Bastards when Agatha walks in, telling Violetta that while Tarvek's been surprisingly straightforward with her, she can't really trust Gil because he's obviously Obfuscating Stupidity. Cue Gil's Luminescent Blush.
  Tarvek: hee. You weren't playing the idiot with her, were you?
  Gil: Shut up!
• "...yes?"
  • "Yes, please." "Shot op, hyu."
• "Gil underestimates the danger posed by the Fun-Sized Mobile Agony And Death Dispensers."
  Gil: I've fought lots of clanks. These don't look that bad.
  Tarvek: I will renounce my crown if you walk down there right now!
  Gil: ...that bad?
  Tarvek: Oh yes. ...but don't take the word of a lowly vassal-
  Gil: Right.
• "Hmf. Well, if we threw in every minion we have, we might take out one of them." "That's a terrible plan!" "Thank you, sir!" "There's another twenty of them! We don't have enough minions!" "Er...."
• "Excuse me? Those are my Fun-Sized Mobile Agony And Death Dispensers. They're works of art!"
• "Vot der dumboozle?"
  Tarvek: Give it up you elephantine kitchen goblin!
• Vole's expression when he finds out Gil's plans for him. Plus the pure audacity of Gil's plans.
• The hat RETURNS!
• "We're....We're going to have to break out those little iron cages for their children, aren't we?" "Uh-huh."
• Baron Oublenmach is utterly convinced that the act of ringing the Doom Bell will open the Heterodyne treasure vault, so that he can loot it. Unfortunately, as he actually gets to the top of the bell tower, he begins to realize that he may have not thought this through. The Castle Heterodyne's reaction is the best part, though von Mekkan's utter Genre Blindness compares.
  Vanamonde von Mekkan: ...I mean, when all's said and done, it's just a bell, right?
  Castle Heterodyne: I love this part.
  • On the following elegant and finely crafted two-page spread: Everyone is vibrating in their boots from the bell's chime, except Agatha.
    • Jagers seem to enjoy this.
    • As does Gil. Hmmmm...

Volume 12: Agatha Heterodyne and the Siege of Mechanicsburg

• All misunderstandings over Mamma Gkika's, even when standing right before it.
  Sleipnir: ...in a beer hall.
  Gil: It's not just a beer hall!
  Sleipnir: [seeing a barmaid] It'd better be just a beer hall!
• The coffee mug Mamma Gkika is holding: "I like my coffee like I like my women - MEAN!"
• Agatha is worried she won't be a good ruler. Her seneschal assures her that she's got fifty generations of lowered expectations working for her.
  Councillor 1: Two minutes, and she hasn't killed anyone!
  Councillor 2: A new record!
• Othar is a fountain of these.
  Boris: You found him?
  Othar: But of course! Allow me to present Gilgamesh Wulfenbach—
  [beat]
  Othar: —master of disguise!
  • Tarvek's expression just puts icing on the cake.
• Franz, the dragon guardian of the Heterodynes' vault. His grumpy attitude makes him a walking laugh dispenser. First in his initial appearance in the cellars, then when he rewards Baron Oublenmach (Oublenmach is priceless here too), and then when he smashes a huge war-clank with the treasure bag. "Hey! I said rejoice!"
• Check out the third panel. Agatha now has a new sonic pitchfork thing...the shape of which does not exist!
• Foom!
  Gil: [after punching the only guard the hat didn't convince in the face] When this is all settled, you get a promotion.
• "I heard there was a HAT!"
  • Poor Gil reaching the end of his rope, re: Hats. "Who else could ever wear so majestic and commanding a hat?"
• The background event to hearing Klaus' story repeated. Apparently Tarvek is the only one who can actually like Foglio's storytelling.
• A small one, but when the 2/20/12 comic was first put up, it used "Hanger" instead of "Hangar". Whoops. The goof has since been corrected.
• Bang "reuniting" with Tarvek, who had quite a storied run-in with her years ago. Even better, Tarvek wants her shot, but Gil elegantly ignores those requests while DuPree has fun hugging the ginger.
  Bang: (with glee) It's Prince "How Dare You"!!
• DuPree finds out what Vole likes best.
• Gil's new and improved (and untested) falling machine.
  Gil: I assure you, even if it doesn't "fly," exactly, it should reach the ground in one piece long before it explodes.
• Othar somehow still thinks Tarvek is Gil's doppelganger.
  Othar: Wulfenbach! We meet again! Yes, at last I have found you— and your degenerate clone!
  Tarvek: His WHAT?!
• Gil's theatrics when dealing with Tarvek and Othar, as he shoves Tarvek in the falling machine 2.0, baits Othar into it, and sends them plummeting to Agatha's aid.
  Gil: We must flee- for it is none other than Othar Tryggvassen, GENTLEMAN ADVENTURER! Vanquisher of eeeevil!
  Othar: Hey now! You make it sound absurd!
  Gil: We will make a daring escape in my amazing flying machine!
  Tarvek: Not the flying machine! Not the flying machine!
  • Even better: the main reason why he puts Othar into it is because that increases the chance of Tarvek surviving the fall drastically. Of course Gil asks in exchange that Tarvek later explains how Othar survives falls in the first place.
• "Special trousers. Very heroic."
• Sanaa was quite embarrassed over Moloch's obvious crush on her, as well as what a spaz he was about it.
  Sanaa: He's so ridiculously useless.
  Mezzasalma: You... you're talking about Herr Von Zinzer?!
  [Cue Moloch taking charge of the situation completely, leaving Sanaa with a Jaw Drop]
  Mezzasalma: Hmm, yes... I can see how that must be very embarrassing for you.
• "A charming pair of INNOCENT HOSTAGES!"
  • "This should be the last of them. Oh, and there's a young lady who wants to know if you're accepting grad students."
  • "THOSE TRAITOROUS SQUIRRELS LACKED THE WILL TO SERVE ME!"
• Jager General Khrizhan utilizing a healthy heaping of Loophole Abuse to win the fighting contest.
  General Zog: Hmf. Iz still cheating, but in der GOOT way.
• "Of course I'm distraught! They hurt my weasels!"
• Meet Tarvek's new fan club. EEEEEEE!
• Jägers' sense of the romantic strikes again. "Zo — beeg date?"
• That entire mini-arc is gold, really, from "What now?! More Jagers? Orphans? Jager Orphans?" to his dismay at the Hive Queen pursuing him amongst a crowd.
  Tarvek: Oh come on! What's wrong with this monster? Some of these people look delicious!
• Tarvek has been assuming himself somewhat disposable for a little while now. Since no one bothered to tell Agatha, this page happens.
  Agatha: What are we supposed to do if you go and get yourself killed?!
  Tarvek: Agatha! I...I...um...what...whatever you want?
• "FOUL!"
• In the middle of a battle von Mekkan is making book on the Agatha-Gil-Tarvek Love Triangle. The best bit is the random Jaegar who places fifty on himself.
• Von Zinzer talks about his crush on Sanaa with Snaug.
• Battering Ram. Oh, Phil...
• Von Zinzer's Genre Savviness does not help him this time....
  Agatha: You think he'd learn.
  Dimo: Heh! De best minions neffer do!
• Othar takes apart a clank to find a part:
  Othar: It needs one of those... ah, one of those... oh, how embarrassing. It's gone completely out of my head. Hold on. [SMASH! RRRIP! BASH! Rummage Rummage] You know, one of these!
• Agatha's newly modified lightning stick/death ray accidentally blows up the tower they fought their way across town to get to. But that's not the funny part. The funny part is Von Zinzer's comment:
  Von Zinzer: ...How is it possible that this could surprise any of you people?
  • Even funnier is how everyone else has an Oh, Crap! face, while Von Zinzer has a deadpan Seen It All expression.

Volume 13: Agatha Heterodyne and the Sleeping City

• Von Zinzer helps Von Mekkhan realize that they are really screwed up.
• The castle asking for a honest opinion about its defense mechanisms.
  Castle: Now be honest - I thought I was a bit slow just now. Would you say you: A) agree B) disagree or, C) think there's simply no fun in squashing them if they can't even see it coming?
• "THANK YOU FOR SHOPPING IN MECHANICSBURG!" is both a hilarious and terrifying thing to hear a flying killer robot say as it crashes through a window.
• Father and son prove an entertaining duo.
• Higgs comes to a realization...
• In the 3rd pannel here, the notes of a conquered Spark that the Baron is reading:
  • "NEURO-SYNAPTIC-ENSLAVEATRON
    Note to Self: Needs more subtle title"
  • "And in conclusion:
    Muahahahaha!
    etc."
• Agatha becomes Genre Savvy.
  Agatha: I am NOT your creator! You were NOT created to serve me! And I do NOT expect you to obey my orders OR crush my enemies!
  • You can see the monster is quite miffed at being robbed of his fun.
  • And then the monster's Genre Blind creator comes in....
    • And the monster looks to Agatha for confirmation! Not only does the monster have a questioning expression on, as if to ask "Is he serious?", but Agatha actually responds with another shrug.
• Tweedle is trying to caution his sister of Agatha's competence:
  Martellus: You have no idea what this girl is capable of!
  Xerxsephnia: So tell me. I do love a good Heterodyne story. But this is real life. It's not as if she's in her own lab- or even her own town. She's kilometers from Mechanicsburg, inside our fortress, in the dead of winter. What can she do? ...And why do you have that idiotic look on your face?
• The mere concept of Schweincopters that Agatha also created!
  • It is also a Punny Name.
• Sparkhunds chasing Agatha and co. Or more specifically, Krosp. "Cat! Cat! Cat! Cat! Cat! Cat! Caaaat!"
• Agatha's swan sleigh pulls out a Wave-Motion Gun.
  Ishtvan: Is...is that...
  Tweedle: [face in his hands] Grandmother's old party sleigh. Yes.
  Ishtvan: Could it always do that?
  Tweedle: How should I know? Knowing my grandmother's parties, probably.
• Punch is no longer The Speechless! In fact.... it's actually kind of hard to make him shut up.
• Gil, after effortlessly beating the crap out of Martellus, stomping him in the face repeatedly, and then ordering him to be killed if he speaks again, asks Violetta why she's terrified of him.
  • Ah, the very act of beating Martellus also counts. After making a surprised face, we get two panels of him stomping on the guy with a very rage-filled expression. And considering how much of an ass Martellus is, this random showcase of violence is very funny.
• Adam and Lilith are parents! Their daughter is very strong and hates baby talk.

Second Journey:

Volume 1: Agatha Heterodyne and the Beast of the Rail

• A good spark always comes prepared.
• As Gil is trying to find Agatha, he picks up one of the seven leads Dupree found... But this one leads to a Jäger in a blonde wig. Complete with fake boobs.
  Jäger: Hokay, sveethot! Here hy iz! Now dis iz de part vere hyu tells me dot hyu luffs me for my brains!
• When Mr. Wooster tries to reassure the woman who had unwittingly sought shelter from Agatha Heterodyne ... beginning by explaining to Agatha exactly who said woman is.
  Margarella Selnikov: How ... how do you know all that?
  Wooster: What exactly does the term "master spy" mean in this part of the world, anyway?
  Krosp: hmm... "Sneaky gossip-monger"?
  Wooster: That explains so much.
  • Wooster is also terrified when he finds out that Agatha likes Tarvek since he fears it means "Gilgamesh Wulfenbach is going to go on a rampage that will reduce everything Ardsley Wooster loves to a wet pile of used tea leaves!"
• The last time an eldritch abomination came into the world. Robur Heterodyne thought they were angels coming to punish him for his sins (though he wasn't really sure which ones). He had a crisis of faith and smashed the machine. Then he had pie. Crisis over.
  Castle: In many ways, he was a refreshingly simple man.
• Also, last time, they had hats. Yes, in Girl Genius, even the time-traveling Eldritch Abominations make sure to pack a nice hat.
• Krosp's subterfuge.
  Krosp: This is your own map, showing all the current obstacles—
  Brother Ulm: HOW DID YOU GET THAT!?
  Krosp: I'm cute.
• Dimo and Krosp deal with a Spark who's the epitome of an Absent-Minded Professor.
  Krosp: Why are we even still here?
  Dimo: Iz hyu kidding? An henemy like dis guy iz a ting of beauty!
• Gil has succesfully removed Vole from the timefield, which has caused him to age two centuries in as many minutes. He calls Dupree, apologizing for what he did to the Jager she liked...
  Bang: Oh, WOW! Gil! Is it Christmas? My birthday?!
• Even when gone, Agatha is able to mess with Gil's head.
  • Only topped by the fact that the two men caught kissing tried to explain themselves in the most ridiculous way. "It's For Science!!"
• Martellus, minus coffee.
  • When the coffee arrives, it's in a mug that says, "You don't have to be king to rule here—wait, yes you do!"
• After Agatha learns that the Beast is a sentient train that can fuel itself automatically and that needs no rails, she praises the design for its brilliance, which Ulm calls her out on. Only then does Agatha realize that it was her family that built it, which prompts her to Face Palm.
  • She later complains that her family couldn't even make a teapot without turning it into "some kind of evil engine of destruction".
• Father Gerät justifiably suspects that Martellus sent Lady Selnikov to release the Beast so that he would have a convenient excuse to bring his men into the fortress. While Martellus really had nothing to do with that, he praises the Abbot for suggesting that he would do something like that and offers to make him one of his counsellors. When Father Gerät sarcastically protests that he would not fit in since he's not one of his relatives, Martellus quickly points out that this particular item is at the very top of his "plus" column.
• When Martellus and the Corbettites join forces to combat the Beast, Martellus is introduced to their general: their cook. Who proceeds to make Martellus look like a fool.
  Abbot: According to Brother Vadaxxus, after twenty years of running the kitchen that feeds our brethren, planning a battle is easy.
• The Corbettites are getting desperate to defeat the monster. Agatha suggests using the secret, incredibly dangerous weapons they keep in their vaults. The monks protest, stating how they are merely to guard what is in those vaults...until they hear the kitchens have been destroyed.
  Monks: TO THE VAULTS!
• Violetta mourns for her aunt, as she was nice... so far as her family went, anyway.
• The inscription on Humongulus' chest: DOST THOU EVEN LYFT?
• Martellus tries to hit on Agatha. She hits back.
  • A short while later, Agatha says the unthinkable: "That was also very helpful. Thank you, Martellus." "I... I take a quiet joy in the approbation of my colleagues." "Wow. He's learning."

Volume 2: Agatha Heterodyne and the City of Lightning

• Martellus' Oh, Crap! face as he realizes who the bears answer to now. Krosp's smug reaction is just icing on the cake.
  König: Say-is this human bothering you, Master?
  Krosp: Oh, no. I'm quite enjoying this.
• The monks adhere to their vows of sanctuary quite... technically.
  Brother Vadaxxus: Oh! My goodness, Father Abbot, he just fell over!
  Abbot: Why, it was as though an invisible hand struck him down, brother!
  Brother Vadaxxus: Perhaps it was one of those legendary Smoke Knights!
  Abbot: Ah! How mysterious!
  Violetta: Yeah, we get that a lot.
• The Beast has been reduced to its core, unable to do anything but hurl insults at his captors and desperately trying to keep train!Ulm focused on driving.
• Agatha and company arrive in Paris, only to find out that she's rather popular already, complete with an Urban Legend Love Life.
  Agatha: "Now on sale - The Lightning Loves of Lady Heterodyne - Volume TWELVE?!"
  • That's not all:
  Agatha: "Naughty Agatha" steam pantalettes?!
  Wooster: Oh, dear. "In seven scandalous colors."
  • Zeetha, meanwhile, decides that what they need right now is information. And cake. Violetta prompts a chain of logic that culminates in Zeetha deciding to eat every cake she sees in order to overcome her fear of eating cakes that may be filled with "duplicitous evil" (read "drugs").
    Violetta: And how is this different from before?
    Zeetha: Now eating cake counts as training!
    Violetta: Ooooh. Not bad.
    • "...You have fears? Cake fears?"
• A poster in the lab of a guy plotting to overthrow the Master of Paris reads: Today, Paris! Tomorrow, Paris. Don't get greedy.
  • Also that the guy thinks his ally kidnapped Agatha for a date instead of a hostage.
  • The look on Agatha's face while bound and gagged isn't so much fear or anger as it is just annoyance. "Dammit, someone kidnapped me again? This is getting old."
  • When asked if he would like Agatha bathed and brought to his private chambers ("Mu ha."), the guy retorts that Drusus really needs to stop reading Othar Tryggvassen adventure novels.
• Overlapping with Moment of Awesome, Agatha's smile in the last panel here, as a fragment of the Castle's personality that's essentially taken over every engine in Paris like a Trojan comes to life.
  Drusus: I say, what on earth is that?
  Agatha: That's mine!
• The Castle's fragment still retains its counterpart's low opinion of organic subsystems:
  Drusus: ...Those are the people.
  Castle: Ugh — and don't I know it.
• Agatha treating the mini-castle like an adorable pet.
  Agatha: Who is a clever little thing? Hmm?
  Castle Clank: Why, I believe it is I!
  Agatha: Oooh! Yes you are!
  • Which is also a callback to the wolf pack that had hunted Agatha before where their pack leader asked them who a bloodthirsty monster was and they excitedly rejoiced when he revealed it was them.
• Higgs forces Gil to write a letter.
• This comic, wherein Agatha uses the Castle Heterodyne fragment to force Professor Beausoleil (via his clank parts) to say whatever it wants him to. Her smug smile seals it.
  Beausoleil: For example - have I mentioned that my clank bodies are officially not city systems? And thus, the Master will never suspect that I have been surreptitiously embezzling cheese from his private larders! Muahahahaha-ha!
  [Beausoleil looks suitably stunned and embarrassed]
  Agatha: Who's a very, very clever little thing who's learned so much?!
  Castle Clank: Would you like to hear him quack like a duck?
  Agatha: Oh, my, could you?
  Beausoleil: Miss Heterodyne! How QUACK dare you - I will AWK personally see to it Quack QUACK! Quack QUACK QUACK QUACK QUACK!
• Agatha finds more spicy romance novels with her name in the title.
  Agatha: "The Lusty Loves of Lady Heterodyne, book fourteen: Conquest of the Heir."
  Violetta: Oooh! That's a good one! He "loses!"
  • Flabbergasted as Agatha is, she pays attention to a specific detail pointed out to her by Zeetha:
    Agatha: This... this is ridiculous! Not to mention impossible!
    Zeetha: Nah. You just need the right shoes.
    Agatha: ...Really?
  • Zeetha asks Madame Desmana to throw in a set of those books as part of Agatha's purchase. Agatha is not amused.

Volume 3: Agatha Heterodyne and the Incorruptible Library

• After waking up Othar, Gil interrupts his Walking Shirtless Scene by insisting he put his coat on, much to the consternation of his staff.
• While Jenka tells Agatha about the fact that she has to take the time stop off the town before the Entity Outside Time arrives (in two years), you can see the wasp eater fighting with Fust in the background. The wasp eater wins.
• To defuse a situation, Agatha needs something hammered into the ground, but has no tools handy. So she starts to ask Dimo to use his newly-equipped metal hand... only for him to use his face before she can clarify. Jenka gets in a nice Deadpan Snarker moment:
  Jenka: Dunno. Hiz head iz probably harder.
• Boris tricks Dimo into carrying the Arguron King. It takes Dimo an entire page to realize.
  Boris: Here. You carry the king.
  Dimo: Hoy! Vy me?!
  Boris: Oh, I'm sorry. If you're feeling too weak...
  Dimo: Vot?! Gimme dot guy!
• Zeetha's reaction to Larana Chroma turning into an adorkable sputtering wreck when Hoffman, the object of her affection, speaks to her.
  Larana: EYURRGH! I did it again! He actually noticed me and I—ARGH!
  Zeetha: Everybody in Paris can't be like this. I mean, I've seen kids.
• A miniature copy of Castle Heterodyne held inside a dingbot treats going into a booby trapped set of crypts like a field trip to learn how to make its own better traps.
• Thanks to Gil's efforts, Tarvek is saved from the time-field and being fatally poisoned. And while Gil is expositing, he's distracted by other matters.
  Tarvek: What are these ugly suits we're wearing?
  Gil: What? It's the future. Everybody wears these.
  Tarvek: I knew it. It's the end times.
• Tying to the above, Bangladesh trying her damnedest to peek on their guest while he cleans himself up.
• The Incorruptible Library deliver Agatha's monograph to Gil, but there's a cost...
  Child Librarian: Fifty chocklit mimmoths! - an' a perfect electroplate zapicheep card!
  Gil: Done.
  Librarian: (fist pumping) Yus!
  Senior Librarian: NO!
• Mistress Oglavia Spudna showcases that Dupree isn't the only scary woman in the Wulfenbach's employ.
  Spudna: "Everybody Wants to Talk" - Extremis Press. A vanity project from my youth, I confess.
  Librarian Spy: You're dead! They killed you!
  Spudna: A few minutes are all I need, Herr Baron!
  Spy: I'll talk!
  Spudna: See? That took no time at all!
• The Hoffman boys are oft-compared to the Heterodynes, much to Aldin's chagrin.
• Hoffmann's new helmet has an X-ray setting.
  • "WHAT?"
• Gil gets proof that he's after the Librarians when one insists that his heart would protect the book.
• Tarvek's first reaction to finding out the people abducting him are the Incorruptible Library: having an Oh, Crap! reaction and assuming it's because of an overdue book.
• One of the clerks working the underground lift hopes for a barely dressed underworlder. Lucky him gets his wish granted instantly.
• Agatha refuses to show up to Grandmother's party dressed as she is. She reconsiders briefly when Zeetha suggests that, being the fashion icon that she has become, Agatha could convince everyone to dress like that, which leads to Agatha imagining Gil and Tarvek wearing slave outfits.
  Agatha: Still... no.
  • Malek disagrees with Varpa when she states the Master of Paris will attend the party, until Varpa points out Andronicus Valois will likely crash the party and that Voltaire will have to go there in order to stop him.
    Malek: Oh my gosh — the Master, the Lady Heterodyne, and the actual Storm King at her party?
    Varpa: I know! Grandma's going to be thrilled!

Volume 4: Kings and Wizards

• Martellus decides to ditch the party in favor of figuring out what Archimedes' Lever is reacting to. Seffie is less than thrilled at this, since Martellus is the guest of honor.
  Seffie: Listen to me, my darling brother — if you do not get dressed right now, I will strangle you myself to spare Grandma's aged fingers!
  Martellus: Seffie, I am doing science here!
  • When this doesn't prove enough to convince her brother, Seffie decides to just whack him with a wrench. Luckily for Martellus, their grandmother interrupts her before she can do so.
• "Dun be ridiculous. Hyu gots VEY too much HETERODYNE HAM for doze pants."
• "Reading about it just isn't the same."
• The disposal of the array is quite conveniently timed.
  Dimo: Erm... Dit hyu plan dot?
  Agatha: Plan what?
• Working under pressure.
  Dimo: Um... und hyu might vant to speed dot up a leedle.
  Agatha: (annoyed) You know, I only make this LOOK easy.
• Agatha repurposing one of the child-catcher clanks by installing the Castle.
  Violetta: Uh... does it still think we're all children?
  Agatha: Well....
  Castle!Clank: (brandishing Agatha's newly-built BFG) ALL RIIIIIGHT! NO MORE VELVET GLOVES, YOU LITTLE PUNKS!
• Agatha's continuing clothes problems, mid-running battle. "It's not like I'm going to battle a horde of socialites on the way!" "There she is!" "And look how she's dressed!" "GET HER!"
  Zeetha: Wow. You can find anything in Paris!
• The Paris Ball is just filled with people dressed in costume Shout Outs. A small list includes Yugi, Loki, Chief Blue Meanie, Hellboy, Medusa, Flame Princess, Sans the Skeleton, and Sephiroth.
  • The Sephiroth guest is accompanied by a little gremlin that clings to his ankles singing an infamously warped version of a certain iconic theme song:
    ...bells, frogs, big cherries, Peter Pan, magic cheese...
  • During the ball, there's a small Brick Joke built on top of a Noodle Incident:
    Colette: Please tell me you're not having those jugglers again.
    Seffie: I told you, they just showed up. We didn't actually hire them.
  • Next page, after Martellus' entrance as Storm King gets preempted by the arrival of the Queen of the Dawn's airship:
    Aide: Your Majesty, the jugglers...
    Martellus: Oh... Uh... Cancel the jugglers.
• "Grandmama! You mustn't beat your servants! Your shoulder!"
  • Seffie continues on this streak: "Yeek! Don't kill Martellus! I need him for my newest master plan!"
• An example of Bilingual Bonus: Colette's code to access the city systems is "un deux trois Mon chat est bleu." That's French for "one two three my cat is blue."
  • Just before that, Tarvek is complimented on sounding just like his grandfather, which he did not enjoy hearing.
• Martellus' previous time in Paris left him a little traumatised.
• As the Master zaps Andronicus, the Castle cheers by yelling out "Finish Him!".
• There's a zombie Storm King running amok in Paris that everyone has trouble to even slow down. But Da Boyz have an idea:
  Deemo: Hyu vants to make dis guy schtupid mad? Hyu shows him something he really hates!
  Oggie: Hey! Dot's us!
  Maxim: Yah! Dibs on his hat!
  • And then they start running interference by complaining about Andronicus' grandstanding.
• After defeating Andronicus, the Knights of Jove immediately stage a parade celebrating Martellus' victory, with a spark who specializes in such matters.
  Terebithia: Oh, yes! She used to do children's parties... then there was this unfortunate incident with a thousand burning clowns...
  Zola: Ooh. I heard about that. ......can I borrow her?
• Tarvek is tasked with putting the castle into Paris' systems while Agatha is busy:
  Tarvek: But I wish Agatha were here. She knows how to make you jump... Where is she?
  Castle: She is using a Child Catcher to battle the Storm King. The train is driving. I am...sure they're fine.
  Child Catcher: AAAALL ABOOOAARD!
  People: AAAAAAHHHH!
• It's a comparatively sombre moment, as Master Voltaire has just been murdered, but the many deaths of Beausoleil are both gratifying and superbly funny, complete with Unsound Effects like "Cube!"
• The Clothing Damage sustained by Colette while taking control over Paris and avenging her father results in her making a very important announcement while completely naked and either not noticing or not caring due to her current state of mind. The announcement gets interrupted by Tarvek pulling a Please Put Some Clothes On moment on her.
  Colette: As of now—I am Paris. I will... (distracted by Tarvek) What are you doing?
  Tarvek: "Paris" needs pants!
• We see a dramatic conversation between Colette and Agatha. We also see a Funny Background Event of Oggie trying to get a new hat. It becomes even funnier since it was a even less obvious Funny Background Event on the page before.

Volume 5: Queens and Pirates

• On the splash page showing sunken London, a whale passes by with "Lovely day for a Guinness" written on its side.
• When the ship he's aboard is accosted by his relatives' agents, the captain takes umbrage at being called a pirate, though the captain of the opposing ship doesn't much care.
  Sturmvoraus Captain: Well, you know what I say to you and your crew?!
  (Two pirates are holding a gun to his head and cutlass to his throat)
  Pirate 1: Oh, I can't wait to hear this.
  Pirate 2: Quiet, Lucy. The man's talking.
• "What have a bunch of dirty pirates got to counteract that?" Well...
• The werewolves that attack Tarvek's pirate ship are pretty scary, then they say their battle cry:
  Alpha Wolf: All right, boys, no witnesses! KILL THEM ALL!
  Other Wolves: KILL! KILL!
  Alpha Wolf: And then... TREATS!
  Wolves: TREEEEEEEATS!
• Tarvek's reactions to Gil's Big Damn Heroes moment are priceless.
• After Gil introduces himself, Tarvek's pirates realize the woman with him must be Bang. Cue fannish squee:
  Captain Hawkins: Oh! Ohmigosh! Oh wow!
  Pirate 1: Is it really her?
  Pirate 2: It is her! She stabbed my mom once!
  Captain Hawkins & 1: Lucky!
  Tarvek: Um-
  Gil: Yeah, this happens a lot.
  • Adding to the hilarity is how Bang gets one of Martellus' most deadly Smoke Knights to beg for death: by just endlessly prattling on instead of fighting.
• Bang quietly wakes up Tarvek in the middle of the night, though they differ on the finer points of "quietly":
  Tarvek: If you wanted me to wake up quietly, why did you stick a knife to my face?
  Bang: Geez, knives are quiet!
• Poor Ardsley Wooster gets a major Explain, Explain... Oh, Crap! moment when talking about someone crazy enough to hijack one of the Queen's vessels.
• Two ingredients for one of Gil's worst nightmares: Naked First Impression and Trelawney Thorpe. It was Bang's idea and Tarvek liked it enough to go through with it.
  • Then there's the small matter of Gil hijacking a British sea serpent, which Tarvek justifies by invoking "Royal Pursuit and Rescue", saying Gil was duty-bound to rescue him. Trelawney points out that every time the British invoked R.P.R., it was in cases dealing with kidnapped royal princesses. A smirking Gil says "It's totally applicable."
• Violetta displays some decidedly uncharacteristic knowledge about fashion, to the surprise of everyone else in the room.
  Violetta: Why are you all so surprised? I spent practically my whole life with Tarvek!
• Gil's succinct and accurate summary of Tarvek's allegiances.
  Gil: I trust Sturmvoraus to act in Agatha's best interest. Not mine, or the Empire's, or even humanity's as a whole - but definitely Agatha's.
• Wooster, Tarvek and Higgs undercover as an English tea boy are in a submarine, all going to the same place. A crisis restricts the number of people who will be allowed to disembark at the destination to Wooster and Tarvek. To let Higgs disembark as well, Tarvek pretends to have suddenly decided he wanted an attendant and to have given a coin to Higgs' cover identity for the job. Aware that he did Higgs a huge favor, Tarvek tries to get him to address him by his rank while giving his discreet thanks.
  Higgs: Not 'til I see that farthing.
  • Months later, it seems he actually did get that farthing.
• Gil, while on tour of an oddities museum, is told that they've just received canopic puzzle jars from Egypt, which Gil's encountered before, and gave a thoroughly detailed account of how to open them so people wouldn't do it by mistake. Naturally, the museum had disregarded that part of it.
• When they meet Agatha, Tarvek kisses Agatha (in front of Gil/Agatha Shipper on Deck Wooster, for extra funny) to be able to discreetly tell her to pretend to not recognize Higgs. A very enamoured Zeetha almost blows Higgs' cover by giving him an enthusiastic hug and kiss as soon as she sees him. Higgs covers that up by claiming to be someone who Really Gets Around, Wooster falls for it, Tarvek replies he expected a sailor to have A Girl in Every Port and Agatha just stifles a laugh.
• Agatha gets thwarted for the first time, and would have been more insistent about it had her Growling Gut not interrupted her griping.

Volume 6: Sparks and Monsters

• A member of a large laboratory's personnel turns out to have grown up in it due to being the love child of two staff members. Dimo calls it "a very common kind of lab accident".
• Dupree finally learns who'd wiped out her base, and is ecstatic at just how epic the oncoming fight against Zeetha will be.
• Agatha needs someone normal to draw a spinal fluid sample from, and settles on Higgs. Tarvek's quick thinking is to come up with a needle phobia, and Higgs' reaction sells it.
• "Trelawny Thorpe! Surrender the young Baron to me, or face my shark men of DOOM!" Trelawny just looks so done.
• Soon afterwards, Trelawny and Gil get attacked by a giant dinosaur-chicken:
  Trelawny: It's not always like this! Just Wednesdays!
  Gil: Trust me, I understand.
  • Even better is the stealth Shout-Out to Dina of the Walkyverse.
• A discussion about demon summoning happens while the reader and Tarvek know of Higgs' true nature, but Agatha doesn't:
  Agatha: [smugly] I mean, you can't just say, "appear before me, all-powerful creature" and expect —
  Higgs: [appears out of Butler Space in his attendant persona, freaking out Tarvek in the process] Tea?
  Agatha: Oh! Yes, thank you!
• Gil absolutely loses his shit when Lady Astarte recalls having met a very different kind of Klaus Wulfenbach to the one we (and he) are familiar with.
  Trelawny: We hope to consult the Queen's memory.
  Lady Astarte: Well of course. What about?
  Gil: [absolutely flipping out] This impostor claiming to be my father!
  • Really, this one line does it.
    Gil: The man who thinks that "romance" is a type of lettuce.
• A group of conspirators take a very... Mad Scientist approach to eliminating Higgs:
  Conspirator: Aieee! Wait! Wait! Wait! Over there! That was Sturmvoraus' dogsbody!
  [Higgs somehow goes through at least six different facial expressions in three panels.]
  Conspirator: Although he is quietly sitting out of the way and bothering no-one... he must die! Release the Smakken!
  Higgs: ... The what?
  SMACK! [Giant tentacle smacks Higgs off his chair]
  • In the first panel of the same page, Higgs enjoying a moment of peace and quiet, chilling out... with a fish. Just that whimsical moment of calm report in a comic mostly consisting of people frantically running around makes his tired reaction to the events that follow even more funny.
• Tarvek and a henchman share a moment pointing out Lord Snackelford being Wrong Genre Savvy:
  Tarvek: I have a gun.
  Henchman: He does have a gun.
• Tarvek and Higgs's Casual Danger Dialogue while fighting the Smakken as they discuss different monster scales.
• Agatha knows her monsters, and how to trap them.
  Agatha: Did it have other trains you could blow up?
  The Beast: 's...
  Agatha: Then we'll say no more about it.
• The mini-Castle Heterodyne demonstrates its bona fides to Tarvek and Higgs. What makes it is that the mini-Castle looks so cheerful and Krosp (who it's standing on) looks so done with it all.
  Castle: [...] Kill him, and let's be off.
  Higgs: Yep. That's the Castle.
• Agatha managed to persuade another Spark to open up parts of the machine, to the point that even Wooster and Zeetha are astonished... as is the scientist she'd persuaded.
• Sometimes, it's just not worth trying to communicate with an Eldritch Abomination.
  Tarvek: Ha! I can work with this!
  Glomf.
• Seffie pays the man she'd hired for information who rejects helping her any further because he's gone so long without sleep that he's dead on his feet. Her guard, Sparafucile, simply smiles at him.
  Quinster: Aaand here I am, suddenly and miraculously wide awake!
  Seffie: The curse of competence!
• Gil engages in some Brief Accent Imitation, much to Trelawney's chagrin.
  Trelawney: Never, ever talk like that again.
  Gil: What? I'm just trying to fit in!
• Agatha regrets Vapnoople ending up in another dimension. Wooster provides a sanity check:
  Agatha: It's too bad. I think there's a lot I could have learned from him.
  Wooster: Yes! All kinds of things! Terrible, evil things! Ways to warp nature and create bizarre, monstrous abominations of science!
  [beat]
  Wooster: -And that would be bad!
  Agatha: I knew that!
• Tarvek is insistent that they finally get Lucrezia out of Agatha's head before another distraction emerges.
  Dimo: Hoo. Haz he alvayz been dis smart?
  Higgs: (Smugly) Think this might be a high-water mark, actually. (Violetta is stifling a giggle in the background as Tarvek frowns)
• The way Tarvek extracts Klaus' overlay from Gil is one hilarious act of boldness after the other:
  1. Get Agatha out of the room to get Gil back in control, then convince him to step into the extraction device under the pretense that it will help get Lucrezia out of Agatha's head.
  2. Get Agatha back in the room to bring Klaus back.
  3. When Agatha turns out to have suddenly gone missing, take advantage of the fact that the extraction device is currently covering Gil's eyes to pretend that Agatha is back in the room, and claim that Gil is considering making Othar the head of the Empire's diplomatic corps to get Klaus back in control.
  4. Activate the extraction device.
  5. Test whether the extraction worked or not by asking Gil to hand his Empire over to Agatha.

Volume 7: The Exorcism Engines

• No-one can believe Martellus would tell the truth, even with Krosp backing him up, suggesting that he's ill, that it's not Martellus, or that they're dreaming.
• Gil and Tarvek's solution to dealing with Martellus.
  Dimo: Hy might be better at dis politiks ting den hy thought...
• Tarvek points out that even with Klaus' overlay gone, Agatha's proximity will still cause a personality change in Gil: he'll turn into an idiot due to Love Makes You Stupid. He gets proven right within a page of making the statement.
• When under attack, Martellus tells Sparafucile that she can help fight against them.
  Sparafucile: I live to serve, my Prince! (With a Slasher Smile) Hee hee hee! I'm serving!
  Martellus: (To Violetta) Just don't get between her and any enemies.
  Violetta: Ah.
  • Later on, she mentions to Maxim that she'd majored in Behavioral Psychology and minored in theater, with her dissertation combining the two.
    Sparafucile: Which means all I usually have to do is smile like this - and I don't have to kill anybody!
    Maxim: Dot iz... verra impressive.
  • Later still, she tells Higgs why she takes what Sparks say with a pinch of salt:
    Sparafucile: I've worked around Sparks all my life! I don't know if a down-to-earth person like you will understand, but some of the things they believe—if you take them too seriously—it can drive you insane!
    Higgs: ... No, no— I get it.
    Sparafucile: There are not little people living inside my ears!
• Dimo suggests puncturing people's eardrums to avoid Lucrezia regaining control. A testy Rakethorn points out they could just stop up their ears instead:
  Dimo: Hy know, brodder, sometimes hy tink pipple dun vants us to give dem battle scars.
  Maxim: Vot? Den vhy does they alvays pick fights?
• When Anevka!Lucrezia shows up to save Agatha!Lucrezia, Anevka!Lucrezia lets exactly the wrong thing slip in front of Tarvek.
• As Agatha!Lucrezia begins her transformation into a Queen:
  Tarvek: Perhaps... perhaps she'll achieve a higher consciousness and realize that her evil machinations will never bring her happiness?
  Agatha!Lucrezia: Yessss! The ascension, it's happening! Fascinating! The neural pathways— the alterations in chemistry— they are already there— just waiting! It's coming together! I can see the levers of the universe! Soon, I will be able to reach out and touch them... and then, I will kill you all!
  Martellus: Well, it was a nice thought...
• As our heroes assess what they need to do after having removed Lucrezia from Agatha's mind, the mini-Castle urges them to follow the cultists leaving the dome, but they're all focused on other important things instead. Until finally:
  Mini-Castle: They have activated the dome's self-destruct mechanism!
  Agatha: Perhaps you should have led with that?
  Mini-Castle: Really? Only, I thought there was already a superabundance of drama in the room-
• Rakethorn, Dimo and Maxim set off to rescue the people still in the dome's kitchens, only to run into a few problems along the way.
• Dimo helping the Deepspeaker with his flowery insults.
  Deepspeaker: These - these -
  Dimo: Desiccated dust huffers?
  Deepspeaker: Ye- STOP DOING THAT!
  • "We require-!" "Lunch!" "... Lunch is good."
• The sheer absurdity of Agatha preventing a Class Z apocalypse simply by demanding the weapons in her mermaid disguise be removed.^note On a more serious note, it turns out there is good reason for this. It turns out hiding a bunch of weapons in an outfit meant for diplomacy isn't the smartest idea when the other party has a means of detecting them. The implication is that the denizens of the Deep would've considered it an act of war, Agatha and her companions would've been killed, and things would've gone south from there for the entire world. Fortunately, Agatha overrides her sparky impulses and uses some common sense.
  • When Agatha orders them to remove the weapons, one of the sparks childishly whines "Don't wanna!", when Agatha insists on it, that same spark says they're doing it "Under protest!"
• Agatha discovers why the Deepspeaker's so high-strung.
• One of the Deepspeaker's acolytes isn't happy about being assigned as an emissary to Albia:
  Deepspeaker: You will find many more stories for your collection.
  Acolyte: I don't need more stories!
  Deepspeaker: It will be educational.
  Acolyte: These days, I collect recipes!
  Deepspeaker: Nevertheless, it is the Holy One's will.
  Acolyte: But I thought we were going to eat them! Not live with them!
  Deepspeaker: Now now, spratling. We are all disappointed.
• When it turns out that the submarine is basically going to be sneezed out:
  Tarvek: Great. So now we're considered an irritant.
  Gil and Martellus: You should be used to that.
  [Gil and Martellus just stare at each other.]
  Gil: Well, that takes all the fun out of it.
  Martellus: Jinx! You owe me a drink.
  • Later, Seffie, who slept through most of the recent events (since before Lucrezia was extracted from Agatha), asks Martellus for an update. Martellus thinks back over everything that's happened, and decides to lead with the fact Gil owes him a drink.

Volume 8: An Entertainment in Londinium

• Seffie ends up with a bunch of candy and desserts in her hair and to avoid embarrassment in front of the queen tries to pass it off as a new fashion from Paris. The reason she had candy in her hair in the first place? The sub had accelerated and she had gotten hit full on in the face with the dessert tray.
  Seffie: Am I going to have to wear food in my hair all day?!?
  Martellus: The waiters did warn us that the sub was about to launch.
  • Even better, it's followed up on by Albia when she asks Seffie to dance, and makes it clear she knew exactly what happened and rolled with it, telling her "So, shall we agree that you owe us?"
• Seffie and Agatha's reponse to Martellus criticizing the confectionary hair ornaments they are passing off as a new trend:
  Seffie: [to Agatha] Just so you know, I'm okay with you killing him now.
  Agatha: Oh, I couldn't! When he dies, I want him to understand why!
  Seffie: Well then, I do believe he will live forever.
• Tarvek plots to embarass Gil in front of Agatha by simply letting Gil talk to her as himself. Violetta complements him on his deviousness, only for his plot to fail because Gil and Agatha simply share a Dance of Romance, instead. Tarvek is not amused.
• Members of Queen Albia's court are very obviously trying to keep Agatha and her suitors separated, with Trelawney Thorpe keeping Gil occupied and Doctor Rakethorn doing the same with Agatha. Tarvek gets cocky and suggests it will be much harder to keep him occupied, only for Albia to turn out have had a Muse up her sleeve the whole time.
  • Soon after...
  Seffie: That sounded like Tarvek squealing...
  Martellus: Probably saw a mismatched cuff button.
• The Queen decides to have a dance with Gil and unleashes a brilliant diss on him.
  Gil: And will her majesty lead?
  Albia: Thank you, Herr Baron, but no. Given the current state of Europa, we imagine you can use the practice.
• Afterward, Albia passes Gil's hand back to Trelawney Thorpe, causing the nearby Seffie to absolutely seethe in barely-contained rage.
  Martellus: Calm yourself, Seffie. Allow me to dance with Albia, free of concern for your blood pressure.
• Master Payne's circus returns, and Agatha reunites with the Countess, catching up with the troupe and making up for lost time (the last the troupe had heard was the fact that Mechanicsburg was timestopped). Agatha promises to tell them what happened afterwards — and then realizes that they've already made a play based on her adventures (up to the Mechanicsburg arc). When the play's first performance is shown later that night, everyone but Agatha is a very unflattering caricature. The faces made by the their real counterparts are priceless, while Agatha's reaction implies that she was much better at getting into the spirit of things.
  • "Eat my death ray!" "EAT PIE!"
  • Particularly amusing is Zeetha's expression, not only because it's the most over-the-top, but because she travelled with the circus for two years before meeting Agatha, so there's no reason for them to portray her in such a manner. They also got her hair colour wrong.
    • After the show concludes, Tarvek and Gil both proclaim I Need a Freaking Drink.
• After several pages of sneaking around at the Queen's party, Agatha reveals her plan for mischief. Unleash the Jager Horde! On the snackbar.
  • Prior to this, though, Agatha was keen on gauging how Albia would react to such a surprise, as one of her professors tended to "disintegrate first, ask questions later" when it came to surprises. And yet he professed a love of Surprise Parties...
  • And after the surprise is unveiled, one of the nobles gets a bit too into it, going full-blown Aren't You Going to Ravish Me? due to her love of the Jager romance novels by Lady Torrida Von Swak.
    Dimo: ...Vot?
• After Agatha asks Albia to dance, Tarvek explains to a confused Krosp the magnitude of her tactlessness.
  Tarvek: When Albia is on her balcony, we're supposed to act as though she isn't there.
  Krosp: Since when?
  Tarvek: I don't know! Since the last ice age, at least!
  Krosp: Ah. So there's precedent.
• Agatha and co. run into Dupree again and she stabs Tarvek. Gil freaks out, but not because Tarvek is injured.
  Gil: Dupree! Must you embarrass me in front of my friends!?
• Krosp has been stealing Agatha's food. Gil comes in with a sandwich which Krosp proceeds to steal and eat only for Gil to reveal that the sandwich is spiked with ridiculously spicy peppers. We see the aftermath as Krosp's face turns red and steam starts shooting out of his ears.
• The apathetic captain, and the depths to which he truly does not care.
  Mawda: Well, now I kind of want to keep him.
• Tarvek is pleasantly surprised when Gil speaks of him as his "trusted advisor" in military matters:
  Gil: I didn't chase you across Europa and violate Britain's border for your fashion sense.
  Tarvek: That much is tragically obvious.
• Krosp I, Emperor of All Cats, meets Martellus's cat. And... well...
  Krosp: There's a caaat!
  Agatha: WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?!
  Krosp: A CAAAAAAAT!
  Gil: (grabs Krosp) You-
  Krosp: But... but... CAT!
• Kjarl is explaining why he doesn't think the Mechanicsburg time-stop will be too much of a problem.
  Kjarl: If it was very bad - heh - why, then you would have Dreen.
• Krosp spends his time moping about Martellus's cat, but no one pays him any attention. Then he says he's not hungry...
  Agatha: All right. Tell me about this "other cat".
• Bang tells everyone how Martellus is the kind of guy who will make damn sure every soul in Europa will know when he's dead. When Zeetha expresses a desire to stick a knife in him just to see what that would look like, Bang becomes enthusiastic at the prospect.
  Bang: Blood and pretzels! I love you! Let's kill him together!

Volume 9: The Chronometric Lantern Expedition / The Hunt for Prende's Lantern

• Higgs protesting that he doesn't need treatment after being bitten by venomous giant rats:
  Violetta: Fine. When you're dead, I'm going to set Princess Zeetha up on a date with Oggie.
  Zeetha: Ooh—I do like a man who's still alive.
  Higgs: ...gimme the shot.
• Upon meeting up with Boris, who makes a minorly disparaging comment about Dimo being in charge of the Jagers, Tarvek makes a crack about him missing their "childish antics."
  Boris: I assure you, Prince Sturmvoraus, your family has admirably taken up the slack.
  Tarvek: Do I look surprised? I do not.
• Othar returns, with Geistderdamen, who he's told all about Gil... and Tarvek.
• Exploring the mysterious ruins find some ancient tablets. Then Neena starts translating.
  Neena: Let's see: "Forlak found he could retreat no further. 'My Lady!', he cried. 'This is unseemly! I am your Chief Guard! We must not--'" Uh— perhaps the translation we have at home isn't... Um... as accurate as we thought?
  Zeetha: Keep reading!
  • Neena does keep reading, only this time she's smiling.
    Neena: "Grinning, the Captain began to unbuckle his brazen cuirass. 'Well, my Lady,' he drawled, 'if that be an order... '"
    Zeetha: Oh, it is! It is!
• As Neena and Zeetha discuss the schematics they've found, the bear they're with starts going towards the mummified corpses nearby... until he sees Agatha giving him a Look, and stomps away in a sulk.
• When the Mirror synchronizes and manages to open a window to Skifander, Zeetha and Higgs share a tender moment as they make plans for her to finally show him her home and meet her mother. A heartwarming beat...before before Higgs gets a look and...
  Higgs (skeptical): Do I really have to fight her?
  Zeetha (excited): Hee hee! It's going to be so amazing!!
• Bang's men capture the nameless apathetic airship captain, who has been taking everything in stride up until this point and clearly does not give a damn about anything, willing to cooperate. The one thing that actually makes him go Oh, Crap!? Encountering Bang herself. Not because of her reputation, but because he's her father. Apparently he left because he really didn't want to be a pirate king.
  • Bang points out that he's basically a 'Professional Castaway' which, in nautical terms, could be seen as a different way of saying 'Professional Bum'
  • Really, just the fact that Bang calls him daddy.
• After several thousand years, the Other discovers a downside re; immortality...
  Monohan: I'd as soon believe you'd forgotten how much you love chocolate.
  Lucrezia: Choco... AAAAAAAAHH!
• "Mysterious" shipwrecks. Sure.
  Steelgarter: As well as a pop-up stage, props, costumes and cute little hand-printed playbills for "Two Gentlerats of Verona"?

Volume 10: Escape from the Island of the Rat Queen

• In the middle of their fight, Monahan takes a moment to gripe on Lucrezia for stealing one of her projects when they went to school together.
• Krosp is given the task of keeping giant, flying rats at bay while Agatha and Rakethorn work on the ship's engine. When Krosp complains that he can't possibly do that, Rakethorn gives him electrostatic gloves to zap the rats. Krosp is leaking with delight at the prospect.
  Krosp: Muhahahaha! Kaboom! Hahahahaha! Why didn't you give me these to start with?
  Rakethorn: Because they're mine.
  Krosp: Ha! They were! HAHAHA!
• When a spear pins his hat to the wall, the nameless captain reports to Bang that the ship is taking fire from the hostiles.
• Neena panics and summons Albia to rescue the gang. An exasperated Krosp is baffled that she could've done it at any time.
• While having cake with Monahan, Violetta pours a cup of tea for Zeetha. She promptly spits the tea once Agatha's wasp eater pops out of the teapot.
  • One of Monahan's rats offers Violetta a plate of muffins while wearing a toque. Ratatouille, anyone?
• Princess Neena is not a stowaway. She's a surprise, freelance member of Agatha's expedition to Mechanicsburg, joining quietly to avoid undue fuss.
• When Gil lists all the things that make Terebithia a rather nasty person, Tarvek and Seffie agree with him on the spot, beaming with pride at the fact that their grandmother's Still Got It at her age.
• After discovering Neena on their ship and convincing Doctor Rakethorn to have her stay, Violetta and Agatha discuss what Doctor Rakethorn was trying to do. As they go over all the people who are vying for Agatha's attention, Krosp says that Agatha is wearing catnip pants! Agatha responds to this by trying to crush Krosp into a teapot.

Volume 11

• Thotep is able to touch Prende's Lantern in spite of the safeguard Albia placed on it. When Othar tries to touch it, he gets a taste of the expected result.
  Othar: Ha! Heathen British magic holds no sway here!
  Agatha: WAIT!
  (Othar touches the staff and gets jolted to the ground)
  Othar: Good old British super-science, on the other hand, appears alive and well!
  Agatha: (to Zeetha) I am saying "wait" out loud, right?

---

Side Stories

Revenge of the Weasel Queen

• Agatha demonstrating a point to Krosp during "Revenge of the Weasel Queen" re: animal-based constructs and their instincts:
  Agatha: Are you, as a cat, prepared to accept certain intellectual precepts?
  Krosp: Such as?
  Agatha: Such as, if you stand here talking... THIS STRING IS GOING TO ESCAPE!
  • The sign pointing to the village is the equivalent of a billboard, and includes "Beer" three times.
• Jorf mentions the village sending for Othar Tryggvassen.
  Krosp: Gentleman Adven—what am I doing!?
• Ferretina and the Fashion Clank skipping off into the sunset - (or wheeling, rather, in the Clank's case) - amidst a pink background of flowers and butterflies at the end of Revenge of the Weasel Queen. Everyone else staring in shock just adds to the hilarity.

Cinderella

• Cinderella. Jager. Ugly. Sisters.
  • "I LUFF my outfit! Mine iz de BIGGEST HAT in de SHOW!"
    Oggie: Hyu iz supposed to be an ogly stepsister. Whyfor hyu gots de pretty dress?
    Maxim: Hyu gots to know how to sveet tok de costumers, dollink.
  • Oggie's wig is a mop with his hat perched on the tip of the handle.
• Backstage at the "Cinderella" play...
  Kaja Foglio: A problem?
  Phil Foglio: We've got two princes! Who thought having two boyfriends was a good idea?!
  (Cue Cheshire Cat Grin from Kaja, Agatha, and Zeetha)
  Phil Foglio: (to Gil and Tarvek) Deal with it.
  Gil: I'm on it. (draws his zappy stick)
  Tarvek: Me too. (draws a sword)
  • "The doors are sealed. The audience cannot escape."
• When her Evil Stepmother keeps smashing her projects, Agatha busts out her hive of specially-bred quilting bees. And the Stepmother's fabrics (including her hair) is indeed quilted later on.

  Cinderella: So Worth It.

• "I am here to get you off your fat butt and to that Science Fair!" "You have got to be kidding. What's the big deal? ...And the term you want is Callipygian, you cow."
  • It's bad enough that winning the hand of the prince (or one of them, anyway) in a science fair is incredibly irresponsible from a geopolitical point of view, but what really gets Agatha back on track is the fact that the princes are inordinately fond of miniature volcanoes.
    Cinderella: Right. Original plan, back on. Let's show these rubes some real science!

Mechanicsburg Winter Solstice

• Towards the end, after The Professoressa falls over and her crown bounces off her head, it's found by Agatha, and the Jaegers declare that the Heterodyne wins again and congratulate a very confused Agatha, Violetta and Zeetha. Naturally, Agatha comments that it feels like she missed something important... And then in the finale as Agatha, Violetta and Zeetha ride off in the Jaeger's sled, the Storyteller finds the Professoressa and asks her if she had a good time, the latter doesn't respond...so the Storyteller brings out a slice of cake prompting the Professoressa to respond "Oooh! 'Cake!'

Franz Scortchmaw: The Quest for Gold and Sequels

• As Franz prepares to go raid the hoard of another dragon in search of books, he reluctantly asks Mamma Gkika to watch over his hoard while he's gone, specifically forbidding her from, amongst other things, throwing a party. Naturally, that is exactly what the Jägers will do as soon as he is out the door, if them hiding behind a corner with a cake and drinks and explicitly saying so is any indication.
  • Not that Franz doesn't suspect as much, of course. But as Mamma points out, he's never actually caught them doing any of the things he just forbade her from doing. Which irritates him to no end.
    Mamma Gkika: Tsk. Dis is vy hyu needs a goot vacation, sveetie.
    Franz: THIS IS A WORK RELATED EXPEDITION!
• Franz's contract includes paid sabbaticals which accumulate over time if he does not take them. To date he's owed exactly fifty-six years and three months.
  Franz: Those Monster Guild dues are worth every penny!
  • Vidonia quickly figures out one of the reasons he accumulates so much time off is precisely because of the Jägers being up to no good while he's gone, thus ensuring he's never gone for long.
• Once the train reaches their destination, Franz complain about "party creep," the tendency for treasure-seeking expeditions to attract new members and hangers-on. It turns out they've collected a classic adventuring party: Fighter (Humongulous), Spark (Lumi), Cleric (Brother Marcus), and Thief (Vipsania). Vipsania takes great exception to being deemed a thief, burglar, or rogue.
• Franz literally can't sleep unless he's sitting on treasure.
• Not being used to personally collecting the treasure, Franz grumbles that now he has to actually walk and carry stuff. Cue Franz volunteering an overenthusiastic Humongulus to do just that.
  Humongulus: HUMONGULUS HAS A PURPOSE!
  Vipsania: How do you sleep at night?
  • What appears to be a doomsayer warns the party to leave. Or tries to; Humongulus panics and chucks Franz's stuff at him.
    Franz: That was my stuff!
    Humongulus: This is why Humongulus cannot carry nice things.
• As the party prepares to camp out and Vipsania prepares to tell her story, Humongulus casually decides to dig a lake.
  Humongulus: This sounds like a big talky story. Humongulus would rather dig!
• Professor Blintzie von Wyrmhaut is quickly proving herself a walking CMOF, with Large Ham tendencies on par with Othar (Gentleman Adventurer). For instance, when explaining a trap that only works with a certain type of dragon fire:
  Student: ...But professor, isn't all dragon fire the same? I thought— (Gets promptly blasted by Wyrmhaut)
  Wyrmhaut: You shame your university! This material was covered in chapter 12!
  Another Student: But professor! You only had us read up to chapter 11!
  Wyrmhaut: (Checks text book in surprise) Chapter 12 will not be on the test!
  Students: (Cheer)
• Lumi swipes the thingamabob that Vipsania intends to use to alter Franz's flame and identifies it as a one-of-a-kind alchemical calibration wheel, explaining that she has only seen its kind in her teacher's office. She cuts herself off when she remembers that it is a "one-of-a-kind"...
  Lumi: Ha! If she knew we had one— Uh-- I KNEW IT! YOU ARE A THIEF!
  Vipsania: I AM NOT!
  • The rest of the party looks at Vipsania with a mix of curiosity and disappointment. Even her cat.
• Brother Marcus describes the morality of creatures created by the Heterodynes in a very blunt way, and Franz one-ups the low morality.
  Marcus: He's a wicked creature of the Heterodynes. As long as you're not blowing up the moon, He'll be fine with any sort of knavery
  Franz: Huh? Why would I care about the moon?
• Vipsania gives Franz some bismuth in order to alter the composition of his flame, while Lumi protests. However Franz's biology works, the bismuth gets him drunk. It even freaks out Humongulus!
  • This then interrupts Professor von Myrmhaut.
    Wyrmhaut: What are you fools doing out here? I can't grade papers in the middle of carnevale! I'm done! You all fail!
  • Franz starts turning into Hydrargyros.
    Humongulus: Brother! Humongulus is not good at jokes - and he does not like this one!
    Franz: Eeeee! Noooo! Don't hurt me!
    Humongulus: Nonesense, brother! Humongulus will not hurt you! Humongulus will only punch you until you stop being creepy!
    Franz: Nooo! No punch!
    Humongulus: It is a proven strategy!
• After the professor and Hector Smoke Out with the Iram Solis, Lumi turns out to be quite enamored with Hector:
  Vipsania: He's a bad guy, you know? A notorious underhanded rougue. A heinous blaggard, even.
  Lumi: [dreamy] Oooh, I know.
  Vipsania: Oh. Let me guess— but you can change him?
  Lumi: ... Now, why would I want to do that?
  Marcus: Ah, yes. Mechanicsburg.

Assorted

• "FOUL!"
• Othar's Twitter: a vision of this mad world from Mr. Sanity-Optional himself.
  • In particular, the moment where he has to get out of Paris quickly, and so goes to a fancy restaurant, meticulously orders an exquisitely elaborate meal, and when it arrives asks for a bottle of ketchup. "We are tossed out the city gates less than 3 minutes later."
  • "Othar Tryggvassen may do things that lesser men find objectionable or slightly illegal, but I never apologize!"
• A sketch in the website's "Fun Extras" section, titled "Shameless Marketing Presents — The Wacky Adventures of: Little Agatha, Little Krosp, Little Gil, and Little Klaus".
• From the Paper Dolls posts:
  • The stock Overlord Jr. quotes given on the Gil doll:
    My father will hear of this!
    Do you know who I am?!
    I like a girl with spirit!
    Guards! Seize Them!!
  • One of the shirts for Agatha's doll has "CALLIPYGIAN" written on the front, and the Clank tells the viewer to just ignore it.

Novels

• This footnote near the start of Agatha H. and the Clockwork Princess:
  See our previous textbook, which, due to unfortunate market forces is entitled Agatha H. and the Airship City. We had suggested The Life of Agatha Heterodyne; Part One - Leaving the University. An Examination of the Causes and Tribulations Leading to the Restoration of the House of Heterodyne, A Reexamination of the Storm King Mythos and Some Clues as to the Underlying Troubles Within the Political Structure of the Wulfenbach Empire. We will concede that this was a bit dry. However we were able to prevent it from being titled Agatha's Electrifying Orbs of Scientific Seduction! So we must take our victories where we can.
• Agatha H. and the Voice of the Castle:
  • This sentence in the first chapter: "Agatha figured that she was now the only person in Europa who found the Other not just mysterious and terrifying, but horribly embarrassing."
  • When Doctor Sun said Klaus is a terrible patient, he wasn't kidding. A footnote in the third book expounds on how Klaus is so bad at recuperating his personal medic made it her default response to tranquilize him if he ever got so much as a paper-cut. After this happened one too many times, Klaus conceded she might've had a point, and drafted up some new protocols. And then went on to invent cutless paper while he was at it.

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