Characters: Suburban Knights
A list of characters from the That Guy with the Glasses anniversary special Suburban Knights.
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Played by: Doug Walker
- Becoming the Mask: After spending ages actively averting it, when he's had enough of everything he rants about all the crap that's happened to Link. Although, ranting about his life as the Critic would probably take up an episode of its own.
- Also done at the end in a sadder way with Ma-Ti, he throws away his tie when he's rushing over and Ma-Ti knocks his glasses off. Those were the last two "Critic" identifiers left.
- Break the Haughty: Done nicer than in Kickassia (he does get to be a good guy instead of just being willing to commit murder-suicide) but he still gets punished for being greedy. And with his reaction to Ma-Ti's death, it overlaps with Break the Cutie.
- Call Back: He reviewed The Legend of Zelda cartoon in an earlier review.
- Character Development: From being a greedy asshole to a capable leader who can boost morale with a Rousing Speech. Not only that, but he keeps himself relatively stable compared to how he was in Kickassia. At the end, he even considers going on another quest to resurrect Ma-Ti. He also seems to have gotten his greed under control as he decides to hide the Gauntlet rather than profit from it after seeing the magic it uses is real.
- The development also seeps into his usual episodes, in both a good and bad way. Good news is that he's learned all actions have consequences and pain is necessary, bad news is that his Miles to Go Before I Sleep side has gotten worse.
- Cool Sword: The Master Sword, in fact... which unceremoniously (and unexpectedly) breaks in part 6.
- Despair Event Horizon: Starts ranting about in-character woes when he grows sick of all the magic he's encountering.
- Until Linkara gives him the idea of another quest, he really doesn't take the death of one of his comrades well. And the failure feeling isn't even constricted to this one special, as his Guilt Complex in reviews got more apparent because of it. Especially the Scooby Doo review when he goes on a rant on the pointlessness of his career and To Boldly Flee, where he doesn't even bother to hide his depression.
- The Ditz: Although he gets some intelligence back in part five.
- Face Death with Dignity: Maybe he was Genre Savvy to know he'd get saved, but he looked surprisingly okay with things when Jaffers was about to kill him both times.
- Flat Earth Atheist: He refuses to believe in magic after meeting a lightning-spewing witch, but he still thinks a broken chain letter will bring bad luck.
- Genre Savvy: He's aware of his Bad Boss tendencies in a crossover, and seems to be more receptive to other people's ideas and regrets having said Well, Excuse Me, Princess! to Lupa.
- Hypocritical Humor: The Critic complains bitterly about the frequent spelling errors in the map. Note that Doug has, in the past, spelt "Nostalgia Critic" incorrectly in his reviews and manages to mess up the spelling in the credits of Suburban Knights.
- Innocent Fanservice Boy: Until it was pointed out to him, he had no idea that he was wearing such a... revealing costume.
- Reluctant Fanservice Boy: According to Iron Liz, Doug requested strongly on the first day that nobody look up his skirt. But due to wind and an apparently ungainly falling over, everyone did.
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Film Brain, Ma-Ti and (to a lesser extent) 8-Bit Mickey get treated badly, but he listens to his team, sulkingly accepts the "lady lessons" Lupa teaches him and worries about the others when he realizes that the Big Bad is tracking them. He's also VERY upset about the death of his comrade.
- Man in a Kilt: Yes, one more skirt trope.
- Mean Boss: He starts off like this to everyone but he's nicer when he's with his team. But his treating Ma-Ti badly comes back to bite him in the ass. Hard.
- Mr. Vice Guy: Oblivious, greedy, bitchy, bratty as hell... but still sympathetic and ultimately a good man.
- Nice Hat: Link's hat in place of his regular cap.
- Papa Wolf: After seeing Malachite effortlessly blow up people, he looks back at his team and is the first to confront him. It doesn't work, but it's the thought that counts.
- Real Men Wear Pink: He claims that his outfit is "a manly costume."
- Screams Like a Little Girl: Repeatedly, once the Witch shows her Red Eyes, Take Warning. Iron Liz and Linkara's commentary says that they were on the other end of the trail about half a mile away and could still hear him doing it.
- Stripperiffic: That skirt is mini and the boots are short for no reason. Well, maybe one or two reasons...
- According to the commentary, Doug was both freezing and sunburned everywhere. So it wasn't practical in real life either.
- Throw the Dog a Bone: After his Despair Event Horizon, he gets to have a Eureka Moment about the map and then he's one of the happiest to see Suede back.
- Well, Excuse Me, Princess!: Says this to Lupa, then promptly tells the party to never let him say it again.
- Well-Intentioned Extremist: He makes Chester search for the necronomicon because he really is desperate to a) not accept death and b) get Ma-Ti back.
Played by: Lindsay Ellis
- Betty and Veronica: It's in the background, but she's (intentionally done, Lindsay said in the commentary) Ship Teased with Critic, Benzaie and Jew Wario. As we know, Critic's the femme, bratty, fucked up ball of need, while Jew Wario and Benzaie both prove to be men she can cling to and offer silent support. But in the end, those two seem to have lost.
- Bilingual Bonus: In part one, the Chick says a line in gaelic- "pog ma thoin" (kiss my ass) which is translated as "it's cool".
- Bishie Sparkle: More like Bishie White Flash.
- Call Back; In her Top 11 Embarrassing and Nostalgic Dance Crazes video, she puts The Macarena in Number 1.
- Confusion Fu: Her weaponized montages are this; she circles the enemy, waving her arms and babbling to sufficiently confuse them before punching them in the face. Lampshaded by Todd and Bennet.
- Deadpan Snarker
- Dull Surprise: It's especially obvious during the scenes in Doug's house and the elf montage sections (though the former was justified by Lindsay, as she felt the Chick would not care about the whole "being duped again" and be bored).
- In the elf scenes, it's worth noting that the character she's playing was also noted for this, so it could be intentional.
- Fun with Subtitles
- Gratuitous Foreign Language: She arrives in an Arwen costume and starts spouting Elvish words (which no one else could understand, and she had to angrily tell them to read the subtitles). It's not actual Elvish, though, but a mixture of Hindi, Irish, song lyrics, complete gibberish, complaining about her tight her dress is, quoting Lady Gaga lyrics and an odd choking sound.
- Innocent Fanservice Girl: In her first close-up inside Doug's house (before they all dress up), she showcases quite some cleavage, which Lindsay said to not have noticed before watching.
- Must Have Caffeine: In all the pre-Arwen scenes, she's drinking coffee.
- The Stoic: Most of the time she's not really bothered by anything.
- Not So Stoic: She's visibly distressed by the idea of Malachite getting his gauntlet back ("From the sound of it, everyone's gonna be screwed if he gets a hold of it!"), and is clinging to Jew Wario and teary-eyed during Ma-Ti's funeral.
- Vitriolic Best Buds: With the Critic. Although they're still snarky and Ship Tease-y, they're a lot less belligerent than they have been before.
- Waxing Lyrical: While doing her "Arwen Montage" and speaking elvish, she inserts the line, "Chickity China/The Chinese Chicken/Have a drumstick/And your brain stops tickin'."
- Woman in White: Which was an adaptation of a Fairytale Wedding Dress.
Linkara as King Arthur, as played by Sir Richard Harris
Played by: Lewis Lovhaug
- Badass Beard: Though he runs out of Sharpie after his first appearance.
- In the commentary, Doug intended for Linkara's make-up pen beard to last for the entire movie. Linkara was against it, due to both Harris' beard not being black in the movie, and the fact that he would have black smudges on his face on the crossover videos.
- The Cast Show Off: Once again demonstrates his rather nice singing voice, but he keeps getting interrupted by the others in his group. He finally gets to sing a complete number at the end of Part 7.
- Chekhov's Gunman: His persistence of a song inadvertantly leads to the Critic learning about the Necronomicon at the end.
- Chest Insignia: The costume bears the Atop the Fourth Wall hat-brick-fire logo.
- Combat Pragmatist: After fighting the Guardians for a while with his sword, he exclaims "Screw this!" and pulls out his gun.
- The Glasses Come Off: Doesn't wear them when in costume.
- That Reminds Me of a Song: To the annoyance of everyone else.
- Unexpected Character: Much like Tom, his costume was up for debate and being King Arthur from a musical was never considered. However, this could also be considered a Call Back to his review of Power Rangers Zeo #1, wherein he states that Camelot is his "favorite movie & musical EVER!"
Played by: Phelan Porteous
- Ax-Crazy: Believes his figurines are alive. 8-bit Mickey thinks he's a little too into character.
- In Part 2 Mickey questions his belief that his "friends" are alive... to which Phelous replies, "They're more alive than you!"
- In Part 3 he talks to his "little friends" about killing Bennett... in front of Bennett.
- Becoming the Mask: To a far greater extent than the others. He truly believes that he's the Rockbiter and that his action figures are alive.
- Subverted in Part 6; he's just really good at staying in character.
- Character Development: From Kickassia. He went from gleefully strangling the Critic and telling the others to "have fun" as return for all the idea-stealing, to coming out of a funk to protect him and calls him a friend.
- Companion Cube: He starts treating a pair of action figures as being alive as soon as he puts on the costume.
- Consulting Mister Puppet: His "little friends."
- Heroic BSOD: "They look like big, good, strong hands, don't they?"
- In the Hood
- This Is Gonna Suck: When the Big Bad walks off an exploding car crash.
Played by: Benjamin Daniel
- By the Power of Grayskull!: Attempted; when his sword gets hit by lightning and starts glowing, he shouts "I have the power!"... before the thing "blows up" in sparks.
- Call Back: In a previous video, he claimed that Conan was his favorite film of the 1980s.
- Cool Sword
- Exposed to the Elements
- Rage Against the Heavens: When Crom doesn't help in his hour of need.
- Stealth Pun: Unintentional — he was supposed to say "Crom" when he makes his entrance, but Benzaie said "Come". This fits however with Nostalgia Critic's review of the Conan movies, where he includes a clip of Arnold comparing working out to "cumming".
- Walking Shirtless Scene: He was going to have a latex chest, but found he couldn't easily move in it.
Played by: Allison Pregler
- Action Girl: During the battle with Jaffers' group.
- Beware the Nice Ones: She stays in character most of the time, but gets scary once she's pissed off.
- Blithe Spirit: At least when in-character.Lupa: I'm just gonna hang back here and be enchanted and shit.'''
- The Chick
- Contractual Genre Blindness: Argues that due to her choice of character, she is required to be useless in battle.
- Deadpan Snarker: "Oh yeah, fairy tales are SO based on reality."
- Dude Magnet: We can add Sage, Joe and Critic to the list of guys who are attracted to her.
- Dude, She's Like, in a Coma!: Sage and Critic fight over who gets to pull this on her, but she wakes up before they can.
- Everything's Better with Princesses: Subverted. The Critic calls Lupa out on her fainting, but she justifies it because of her princess role.
- Fainting: Does so in battle.
- Fiery Redhead: "YOU'RE GONNA BE A LADY AND YOU'RE GONNA LIKE IT!!" (flawless smile)
- Hell-Bent for Leather: Wears a black leather jacket after really getting into the action in the final battle. For Lupa herself, it was a practical move given the heavy wind.
- Let's Get Dangerous: In the battle against Jaffers.
- Masculine Girl, Feminine Boy: With the Critic when she's not being princess-y. Eventually, he's learned his "bending like a lady" lesson while she's most happy with a gun.
- More Dakka: Borrows an SMG from Joe when she decides to cut the crap.
- Necktie Leash: Pulls this on the Critic a couple of times.
- Redheaded Hero: When she undergoes Let's Get Dangerous, at least.
- Tsundere: Type B. She's trying so very hard to be delicate and princess-like, but The Critic's brattiness isn't exactly easy to put up with.
- Unexpected Character: Given Lupa's love of ass kicking females like Cynthia Rothrock, it seems odd that she would go with the Disney Princess costume.
Played by: Bennett White
- Accidental Misnaming: He is not the Cowardly Lion.
- Ice-Cream Koan: He makes them by randomly switching words around.
- Irony: The man who can make Ask That Guy a crying heap in the corner is playing a Jesus-like character.
- Panthera Awesome: While his costume is somewhat lackluster compared to the others', he is able to get in a few punches during the fight scenes and can make a very epic roar.
- According to Iron Liz on Linkara's commentary, the tail (which eventually fell off because Bennett stepped on it) was even worse, since it's positioning at the bottom of the suit rather than at the tailbone made it look like a penis.
Handsome Tom as Willow
Played by: Thomas Hanley
- A Day in the Limelight: In Part 4 he defeats a witch by pepper-spraying her in the face as she rains down lightning bolts.
- Demoted to Extra: He's had three lines, one spoken three times, in six episodes.
- In the commentary, other cast members said he was to have gotten a slightly bigger role, but he begged off, saying "I'm just here to have fun" and doesn't think he's an especially good actor.
- Fastball Special: Attempts to throw Mickey into battle. Emphasis on "attempts".
- Gentle Giant
- Hair Flip
- Lampshade Hanging: His "I'm Willow" lampshades the fact that most viewers probably aren't familiar with the film.
- Or that those who are familiar with it wouldn't expect him to be well over six feet tall.
- Nerves of Steel: When everyone else is freaking out about he Witch, he calmly walks up and pepper sprays her.
- Precision F-Strike: When the Critic reveals that they've been following a chain letter, he simply says "You fucker".
- The Quiet One
- Running Gag: "I'm Willow." (in a video, he even lampshades saying "Basically my only line in this is 'I'm Willow'")
- Unexpected Character: In-universe and out. No fan even knew who he was, and the team didn't realize who he was until he told them. Mainly because Willow is played by a little person while Tom is incredibly tall.
8-Bit Mickey as Peter Pan
Played by: Michael Paradis
- Ascended Extra / He Really Can Act: This movie gives him so many more lines, and showcases the emotions he goes through, than in Kickassia. His My Friends... and Zoidberg running jokes from the two first specials is all but forgotten.
- Berserk Button: Don't point out how similar (i.e. short) he is to Peter Pan or comment on him never growing up.
- Butt Monkey: In order to get rid of him, The Critic tells Mai-Ti that Mickey has erectile dysfunction and can only get off to goats.
- Don't Explain the Joke:Lupa: [addressing The Critic] Listen here, you skirted little green fairy!
Mickey: It's funny because she isn't talking about me.
- Fastball Special: Tries to have Tom use him for this. It fails miserably.
- Non-Action Guy: So much that after flying around the villain, he says "That's all I got". (though he tries to fight Jaffer's team with a dagger, but the Critic is forced to "borrow" it...)
- Non Sequitur Thud: After the attempted Fastball Special with Tom.Mickey: The current time is 3:55. Thank you for flying Painful Airlines. *thud*
Played by: William DuFresne
- Badass Cape
- The Bus Came Back
- Cool Mask
- Defeat Means Friendship: Played for laughs.
- Dual Wielding/Sheath Strike
- Justified - the katana used was actually real and he had to be careful not to accidentally cut anyone with it.
- Eleventh Hour Ranger: Joins the team just in time to take part in the battle for Malachite's Hand.
- Friendly Enemy: Despite being there to stop them from finding Malachite's Hand, he essentially lets the Critic defeat him with a Fingerpoke Of Doom before joining the team on their quest.
- Katanas Are Just Better
- Malevolent Masked Man: Subverted.
- Punch Clock Villain: The actual obstacle got a desk job, he's filling in for him.
- Reverse Mole: Unintentional yet effective example. By getting a job with the obstacles, he was in the position to betray their best-kept secret to the heroes when no one else would.
- Sir Not-Appearing-in-This-Trailer: Averted. He did the voice-over at the beginning and there was a quick close up of him being masked.
- Sixth.. .erm, Nineteenth Ranger
- That Makes Me Feel Angry: In Part 6 he calmly walks to the witch while she's shooting lightning everywhere, quietly tells her "I find that very vexing", and then punches her out.
- Unexpected Character: Not his costume, him in general.
Played by: Noah Antwiler
- Accidental Misnaming: The Critic briefly refers to him as Dumbledore.
- Big Damn Heroes: Leads Group Two into doing this when Group One and Jaffers' group are fighting, turning a deadlocked battle into victory for the reviewers.
- Call Back/Continuity Nod: He previously appeared as the character in his Ultima 1 review, and his instructing of the Cloaks is a reference to his past work as a dungeon master.
- Dodgy Toupee: In the commentary, he expresses much hatred for his wig/beard - specially as the indoor scenes had him inside a hot house under hot lights wearing "ten pounds of fucking hair".
- Large Ham
- Made of Iron: He has to be if he can survive being finger-flicked into a double orbit and crash-landing!
- Nice Hat: Which keeps falling off and being retrieved.
- Non Sequitur Thud: After crashing into the Big Bad.
- Real Men Wear Pink: Gandalf is keeper of the Red Ring of Anor. Spoony wears a pink Star Sapphire ring.
- Red Herring: An unintentional one, but because the illustration of the gauntlet's origin had Aeon wearing a pink ring, viewers thought that it was Spoony's. According to Spoony this was completely unintentional and he wishes he hadn't worn the ring because of this.
- Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness: He says all his lines Tolkien style, forcing Todd to translate.
- Simple Staff
- Wrong Genre Savvy: He tries to apply Dungeons & Dragons and LARPing rules to get the Cloaks out of the way... and they don't comply to his attempt. Neither does the Big Bad.
- You Shall Not Pass: Tries this with The Cloaks. Subverted in that he only gets his hat shot off for his troubles, and they do end up passing him.
Played by: Brad Jones
- Call Back/Stealth Pun: His intro illustration shows him holding a Crystal Pepsi.
- The Cast Show Off: Rob and Doug chose the role because Brad kept on imitating Indy during filming of both the Leprechaun crossover and Kickassia
- The Charmer: Effortlessly talks a random person into letting a group of 9 oddly dressed strangers into her house, even after Joe messed things up first.
- Don't Make Me Take My Belt Off: Airport security forced him to adopt this as opposed to the expected Whip It Good.
- Which is hilarious when you learn that he actually arrived for the shoot by train.
- Doubly hilarious when one recalls that he hates flying.
- Which is hilarious when you learn that he actually arrived for the shoot by train.
- Nice Hat: Indie's trademark hat.
- Screw This, I'm Outta Here!: This is his reaction to seeing Malachite do a fancy staff kata.
- Stealth Pun: His real name's Brad Jones.
- Theme Music Power-Up: An 8-bit version of... the "Raider's March", of course.
- Brad said it is his cellphone ringtone, and even speculated that if it rung on the train (where he was in full costume), people would think "That's the biggest Indiana Jones fan ever!".
- Unexpected Character: The Critic questions his choice, but he asserts that surviving a nuclear explosion in a refrigerator counts as fantasy.
Played by: Joe Vargas
- Amazon Chaser: Angry Joe seems to approve of the Action Girl of Snow White.
- Anachronism Stew: Is playing Inigo Montoya... yet he still has his gun.
- Badass Boast: "King Kong ain't got nothing on me!"
- Dashing Hispanic
- Hammerspace: Where he keeps his guns.
- Leitmotif: A Spanish guitar can be heard whenever he speaks his signature line.
- Malaproper: He keeps getting part of his own line wrong.
- More Dakka: Twice he pulls his machine gun (though once, because the other side was also using it, and another for the sake of it).
- Ooh, Me Accent's Slipping: He appears to be going in and out of Mandy Patinkin's accent from The Princess Bride, most likely for comic effect.
- Quote Swear Unquote: "My name is Inigo Montoya, motherfukers!"
- Running Gag: He keeps screwing up which relative died in the You Killed My Father line. The one time he gets that part right, he screws up the My Name Is Inigo Montoya part. The commentaries reveal that he was supposed to get the last one right but accidentally messed it up and they kept it anyway.
- Trigger Happy: Joe is very, very happy when he realizes he can use his machine gun.
Played by: Kaylyn Dicksion
- Action Girl: She can wield a mean spear.
- Blade on a Stick
- The Cast Show Off: Only speaks in fluent Japanese after donning her costume.
- Clothes Make the Superman: Seems to have gained an enhanced sense of smell after donning her costume.
- Did You Think I Can't Feel?: Her response to "Yeah, your mother was a bitch and your mother was a bull! Guess it makes you a bullshitzu!" is "I have feelings, too!"
- Facial Markings
- Gratuitous Japanese: Which is actually genuine!
- Raised by Wolves
- Silence, You Fool!: Shouts it to stop Film Brain and Luke's argument. In Japanese, of course.
- The Smurfette Principle: At least within Group 2.
Played by: Mathew Buck
- Always Someone Better: Luke is this as far as he's concerned.
- Attention Deficit... Ooh, Shiny!Cloak #1: Oh, look, a butterfly.
Film Brain: WHERE?!
- Brainwashed and Crazy: But he gets better.
- Butt Monkey: Though to a lesser degree than Ma-Ti.
- Crazy Jealous Guy: Toward the Nostalgia Critic.
- Distressed Dude: Got left behind and captured by the cloaks.
- Hidden Depths: He tried to add a darker side to the overtly happy character, by having fights with Luke and such.
- The Load: To the Cloaks. You can't really blame them for ditching him.
- Pity the Kidnapper: Film Brain as Cloak 4 is so incredibly useless (including having to be carried at some point) that the Cloaks end up ditching him for being more trouble than he's worth.
- The Pollyanna/Slasher Smile: He's always with a smile in his face. Which can be rather unnerving when he's obviously angry.
- Screams Like a Little Girl
- Weak-Willed: The Cloaks easily hypnotize him to their side.
- Cloak: Look into my eyes.Film Brain: I can't see your eyes! They're covered up!Cloak: Oh. Well, pretend you can see my eyes.Film Brain: Okay!Cloak: LOOK INTO THEM!(Film Brain lets out girly scream)
- Yandere: As he sees Luke with The Critic.
Luke Mochrie also as Harry Potter
Played by: Luke Mochrie
- Canada, Eh?/Fake Nationality: He's a Canadian playing a Brit. Luke doesn't see the difference, but Film Brain...Film Brain: [Being Canadian]'s as British as being Turkish, you tit!Luke: What are you talking aboot?Film Brain: It's "about," you twat!
- Costume Copycat: Debatable. If you look closely, Film Brain wears the costume seen in the first two films, Luke wears the uniform from the remaining films.
- Professional Butt-Kisser
- The Rival: For Film Brain.
- You Would Do the Same for Me: Says this after saving Film Brain, marking the point where their relationship starts to thaw.Film Brain: Well now I would!
Played by: Justin Carmical
- Blinded by the Light: He inflicts this on the enemy by unzipping.
- Call Back/Continuity Nod: He previously appeared as the character in his Labyrinth review and in his own WA☆RI☆ON story line. And of course, The Nostalgia Chick's review on the movie, as the female reaction shows.
- Clothes Make the Superman: Merely wearing the Jareth costume causes the ladies of TGWTG to fawn over him.
- Distracted By The Shiny: His main use of his Fushigi Ball.
- Facial Markings: Has Jareth's eye-makeup on in costume.
- Gag Penis: With magical powers to deflect lightning balls and blind enemies.
- I Am Not Leonard Nimoy: He is referred to as "David Bowie from Labyrinth" as opposed to simply "Jareth."
- Mr. Fanservice: Complete with The Codpiece.
- Nice Guy: Even though he does have some fun acting flirty and just a touch raunchy as Jareth, it's still Jew Wario. In the special he really goes out of his way in giving Malachite more kindness than he deserves.
- Non-Action Guy: Despite his lack of direct attacks, he makes for one hell of a "debuffer".
Played by: Paul Schuler
- Anachronism Stew: Despite portraying a character from a medieval setting, he still retains his iconic headphones.
- Ascended Extra: Technically not an extra, but he arguably had the smallest part in Kickassia. Here, he gets plenty of opportunities to ham it up.
- Batter Up: He does so with a tree branch to the Voice of the Ancient World.
- Becoming the Mask: Not quite at the level of Phelous, but does seem to be rather concerned with gaining everybody's rage. Including that of the trees.
- Call Back: Obviously to the "Dungeons and Dragons" reviews on the site.
- Evil Is Hammy: Normally Paw would be the more mellow of the reviewers, but he dishes out the ham like no other when in costume.
- I Am Not Leonard Nimoy: Luke calls him "Jeremy Irons" rather than the character's name. Averted when Paw himself says "Home run for Profion!"
- I Know Madden Kombat/Batter Up: Uses his staff to perform a "home run" on the Voice of the Ancient World.
- Large Ham: Seems to be trying to one-up Jeremy Irons' hamminess in his take on the role.
- Simple Staff: It's actually just a tree branch.
- Verbal Tic: Tends to end his sentences with "AHHTSTSTSTS."
Played by: Todd Nathanson
- Blind Mistake: A common result of his mask.
- Cool Mask: Which somewhat restricts his vision during the fight scene.
- Dark Is Not Evil: Just as how it was in the original Princess Bride.
- Deadpan Snarker: Like most of the cast, but he's pretty much the Only Sane Man on his team.
- Playing with Fire/Pyro Maniac: Was the one who dealt with the cremation.Nostalgia Critic: We'd like to thank Todd for handling the cremation, even though I don't think any of us want to know how, or why he did it.Todd: *holding a lighter* Yeah, it's probably best you don't ask.
- Recognition Failure: At first, he thinks the cast didn't know who he was dressed as (even though they have an Inigo Montoya). Then he notices that they aren't recognizing Todd. Presumably the hoodie was his sole identifying mark to them.
- Translator Buddy: Translates Spoony's high-flown fantasy dialogue into mundane terms for the rest of the group.
- Vitriolic Best Buds: Apparently with the entire cast. When the Cloaks attack, he tells them to stop because:Todd: I barely know these guys, I just do music reviews! I don't even like these people!
Played by: Orlando Belisle Jr.
- Badass Longcoat: He might be evil, but he's got a kick ass coat- long, leather, and still manages to flap in the wind.
- Berserk Button: His hatred of technology and all those who use and depend on it.
- Big Bad
- Black Eyes of Evil
- Brought Down to Normal: A follow-up vid reveals he has been stripped of his powers and banished to a cafe in Wisconsin where he now works as a server.
- Bullet Catch: Done with Linkara's gun.
- Cast From Hitpoints: Magic drains his life force. He starts feeling the effects in Part 5.
- The Cast Show Off: Orlando Belisle, Jr. is an accomplished martial artist and is able to showcase a lot of his moves in Part 7.
- Catch Phrase: "What do you think of the 21st century?" Usually said whenever he's talking to someone who refuses to stop using their technological gadgetry.
- The Chessmaster: Malachite set everything in the story into motion and everyone dances to his tune.
- Cool Shades
- Curb-Stomp Battle: Does this to both Jaffers and his group and the TGWTG crew. Of course, they're a bunch of geeks with barely a real weapon between them and he's an immortal Magic Knight.
- Establishing Character Moment: He is walking in an open field and tries to hitch-hike. He is picked up by a very flighty, materialistic guy, which prompts him to complain about the effects of this century's modern technology on humanity, and eventually kills him with supernatural powers.
- Evil Luddite: Given his backstory, it's no wonder he loathes all technology.
- Evil Mentor: Malachite taught Jaffers magic when he tried to trick Jaffers into finding the gauntlet for him.
- Fate Worse Than Death: Malachite was not destroyed. Instead, he was banished to a little corner of Hell known as... the All Around Cafe, in Pleasant Prairie, Wisconsin, where he is a barista and the owner's resident Butt Monkey.
- The Gift: according to Atop the Fourth Wall, normally any wizard who became evil would eventually lose all powers, but malachite is one of the few exceptions able to somehow ignore that weakness
- Hellbent For Leather
- Hidden Agenda Villain: For most of the story it's hard to tell just what his deal is, killing two people for relying on technology and walking around with an evil Leitmotif, but then helping Group 2 by returning their map. Turns out that Malachite couldn't find the gauntlet on his own, so he used the Channel Awesome crew to find it for him, sending the map as a chain letter and putting a tracking spell on it.
- Home Run Hitter: A Megaton Punch throws Jaffers away, and a finger flick turns Spoony into A Twinkle in the Sky.
- Hypocrite: He has an EVO 4G. Oddly, he specifically states he's not a hypocrite.
- It's implied that he doesn't even know what the word 'hypocrite' actually means (and doesn't care to find out.)
- Implacable Man: A car hits him and explodes as he crosses the street. It blows up and he continues on normally.
- The Juggernaut
- Knight of Cerebus: Any time he's onscreen, things get grim.
- Ludd Was Right: His perspective is shown to lie here from the very beginning.
- Meaningful Name: His name is a reference to a green crystal and probably what the crystal that powers the gauntlet is made of.
- Mundane Utility: Occasionally uses his incredible, earth shattering magic powers to do things like... pick up his fallen hat.
- Nice Hat: He sports a sweet fedora. It's also the only part of him that makes it.
- Nietzsche Wannabe
- No Body Left Behind
- Offscreen Teleportation
- Omnicidal Maniac: It's implied a few times that he may not be as hypocritical as Team TGWTG think he is and may have just been after the destruction of the world out of revenge for not being the founder of modern civilisation.
- Really 700 Years Old
- Scary Black Man
- Simple Staff
- Spell My Name with an "S": The special shows his name as both Malecite in the actor credit and Malachite elsewhere. Given Doug's propensity for misspelling words, it is unknown at this point which is the correct spelling (though probably "Malachite", which is an actual word and makes it a Meaningful Name.
- Spin to Deflect Stuff: Done with the bullets shot by Joe and Lupa's machine guns.
- The Stoic
- The Unsmile: After he's banished to the All-Around Cafe he's forced to smile for the customers, but is only capable of giving one of these.
- Vile Villain, Saccharine Show: The world of That Guy With The Glasses is by no means a happy-go-lucky land, and the special is no exception. But he's still a mar more imposing and sinister villain than you would expect from the site's productions, and a fair larger body count than other villains before the credits roll.
- Would Hit a Girl: He's an equal opportunity bad guy. Though in Nostalgia Chick's case he allows a switch for a stunt double, Nella.
- You Keep Using That Word: He apparently doesn't understand what a word "hypocrite" really means.
Played by: Rob Walker
- Go Mad from the Revelation: He was heard raving about Malachite's Hand in the days leading up to his disappearance.
- Harmless Villain: Ultimately. When you're so pathetic that you make the Critic look competent in comparison, you know you're in trouble.
- Hero Antagonist: Jaffers just wants to keep Malachite from the gauntlet and thinks the reviewers aren't worthy guardians. Nevermind that he's blatantly incompetent and that the TGWTG crew massively outnumbers Jaffers' group, which means they might have a slightly better chance of guarding the gauntlet.
- Hollywood Nerd
- Imperial Stormtrooper Marksmanship Academy: He completely misses everyone in Team 1 at point blank range!
- Knight in Shining Armor
- Knight Templar: After hearing how The Internet Is for Porn, he decides Channel Awesome can't possibly be pure enough for his purposes.
- Loners Are Freaks: Subverted, he is actually a perfect normal person(even if a little odd due to being from the past), who is perfectly aware Dungeons & Dragons is just a game, and even comments that he started to get suspicious when Malachite seemed to take the search for malachite's hand as real.
- Madlibs Catch Phrase: "A little too <adjective>..."
- New-Age Retro Hippie
- Posthumous Character: Presumably; he's been missing for just over 30 years before the special began. Turns out he was just sealed in a book.
- Sealed Good In A Book: Though technically a good guy in that he's against Malachite, he's an antagonist to the Channel Awesome crew for deciding they aren't worthy of finding the gauntlet.
- Shadow Archetype: Personality-wise, he's Critic without the likability.
- Well-Intentioned Extremist: Critics deemed not worthy of protecting the Malachite Hand? Kill them all.
- What Happened to the Mouse?: When Malachite sends Spoony flying into the air, he eventually falls back on the battlefield. Jaffers, meanwhile, never reappears. Then again, he did get shot up instead of at an angle...
- Also, note that Spoony is only finger flicked into the air, while Jaffers is sent flying with a Megaton Punch.
The Last Angry Geek, Jim Jarosz, and Iron Liz as The Cloaks
- Anachronism Stew:Cloak 1: Unleash the fire of a thousand arrows!Cloak 3: You mean the machine gun?Cloak 1: [beat] Yes.
- Black Cloak
- Cast From Hitpoints: Magic drains life energy, causing Cloak 1 to start panting after several lightning balls.Cloak 3: Don't use the magic. You know what it does to you! And besides, you're a lousy shot.
- Cool Sword
- Dark Is Evil
- Distinctive Appearances: Despite being dressed identically, it's possible to tell which Cloak you're looking at. The one played by The Last Angry Geek because of his size compared to the other two, and the one played by Iron Liz due to having boobs and wearing gloves (which were actually driving gloves).
- Elite Mooks
- Enemy Mine: Kind of. When Malachite shows up they stop fighting the reviewers and go after him instead.
- Even Evil Has Standards: One of the Cloaks hits Angry Joe when he says Santa doesn't exist to a little girl.
- Evil Sounds Deep: Their normal speaking voices are whispery, but the howl they give off when angered certainly qualifies.
- Expy: For the Ringwraiths and possibly the Shadowlords.
- The Faceless
- Cloak: Look into my eyes.Film Brain: I can't see your eyes! They're covered up!Cloak: Oh. Well, pretend you can see my eyes.Film Brain: Okay!Cloak: LOOK INTO THEM!
- Genre Savvy: They can quote The Princess Bride!
- Wrong Genre Savvy: On the other hand, they believe the reviewers are honorable opponents...
- Help, I'm Stuck!: Covered slides were not designed for husky gentlemen like Cloak 1.
- Honor Before Reason: When the battle of the playground is interrupted, the parties find another playground to resume. As the Cloaks take their places, the heroes just leave and make fun of their "too assuming" adversaries.
- Imperial Stormtrooper Marksmanship Academy: Neither Cloak 1 with his lightning blasts or Cloak 3 with the "fire of a thousand arrows" (a machine gun) are very accurate.
- Mook Chivalry: Two of the cloaks do this while fighting Malachite. It doesn't end well.
- More Dakka: When they pull a machine gun.
- Pity the Kidnapper: After brainwashing Film Brain into their ranks, they spend the next part trying to get rid of him.
- Punch Clock Villain
- Quirky Miniboss Squad
- The Reveal: Cloak 1 is revealed to be the Last Angry Geek as he does his Screw This, I'm Outta Here! moment.
- Rule of Three
- Screw This, I'm Outta Here!: After seeing Malachite effortlessly beat the other Cloaks and give Jaffers a Megaton Punch into orbit, Cloak 1 does this.
- Shaped Like Itself
- Shock and Awe
- What Happened to the Mouse?: Cloak 1 flees the field as the Last Angry Geek, but 2 and 3 are unaccounted for at the end. They aren't shown to be killed like Cat's puppeteer and the witch, nor are they shown being knocked away like Jaffers. They just... vanish.
- Real Life Writes the Plot: Iron Liz and Linkara's commentary says that while fighting Malachite, he accidentally kicked her in the knee really hard, to the point that she was limping for the better part of a week, so for the rest of the filming of that scene she was inside lying down.
- You Are Number Six: Refer to each other as Cloak 1, Cloak 2, and Cloak 3.
Played by: Dave Myers
- A Cat Named Cat: Subverted in that he's just the arm of an actual human.
- Consulting Mister Puppet/Becoming the Mask: When the cat puppet is removed and hit, the puppeteer faints.
- Demonic Dummy: Word of God states that either the puppet is in control of the human, or they're both the same entity.
- Early Bird Boss
- Hand Puppet
- Mind Screw: His reaction to the montage, which leads to getting punched.
- One Steve Limit: Is in no way related to The Cat, a female contributor to the site who cameoed during the Year One Brawl.
- Shaped Like Itself: "What? It's straightforward and self-explanatory!"
- Some Call Me Tim: "I am a creature of the ancient world simply known as... Cat."
- Special Effects Failure: In-universe and Played for Laughs. The actual puppeteer gets up and starts fighting against our "Heroes", but no one mentions that, apparently still believing it was a magical creature with a stupid name.
Witch Warrior/The Good Witch Of The Woods
Played by: N. Cardena
- Affably Evil: Acts like a sweet old lady, even when talking about how she's going to kill everyone.
- Beware the Nice Ones: See Affably Evil above. She also tries her best to tolerate being tormented by Critic and the others. It doesn't end very well.
- Cherry Tapping: Is defeated by pepper spray.
- She is defeated again in part 6 by a simple punch in the face from Suede.
- Dark Is Not Evil: Somewhat subverted unless Good Is Not Nice. On the other hand, her Shock and Awe and advertising of herself as nice makes her a candidate for another trope.
- Do Not Taunt Cthulhu: She may be relatively pleasant, but she's still a frigging witch. Not exactly smart to push her buttons.
- Eureka Moment: Gets one when Critic mentions the chain letter, and almost instantly guesses who sent it and why.
- Evil Laugh
- Evil Sounds Deep
- Fate Worse Than Death: Promises that this will happen to the Critic and others when she gets fed up with their teasing, saying among other things that Eldritch Abominations from H.P Lovecraft will eat their eyes.
- Game Face
- Glass Cannon: She can deal out lightning like nobody's business, but can't seem to take a hit.
- I Am A Humanitarian: Intends to smash in the brains of the reviewers and drink from their bleeding skulls.
- Imperial Stormtrooper Marksmanship Academy
- Mercy Kill: Believes she's doing this to The Critic's group."Oh, oh dear. Perhaps it's better if you die now rather than wait for what's coming. I know what hunts you, and believe me it's much kinder if I just smash your brains in and drink from your bleeding skull."
- Non-Indicative Name: Unless shooting lightning at people and saying they'd be better off dead counts as "Good".
- Punny Name: The map refers to her as "Witch Warrior" in order for the riddle to work.
- Technically it calls her "Wich Warrior", Jaffers forgot the T.
- Red Eyes, Take Warning: Her eyes glow red when she loses her patience.
- Shock and Awe
- Squishy Wizard
The Voice of the Ancient World
Voiced by: James Rolfe
- Energy Being
- Hard Light: He's just a ball of light that speaks. And punches people.
- Jerk Ass
- Mr. Exposition
- Sir Swears-a-Lot
- Sophisticated as Hell
- Unexpected Character: Who would have thought that this voice that's older than time sounded like a Jersey born foul mouthed video game reviewer?
Ma-Ti (from Captain Planet)
Played by: Bhargav Dronamraju
- Butt Monkey: Oh so very much.
- Chekhov's Gunman
- Died Happily Ever After: He saved the world and finally feels reassured that Critic and the others actually do give a shit about him.
- Dying Moment of Awesome
- Extreme Doormat
- Heroic Sacrifice
- Killed Off for Real
- Last Words: "The power is yours..."
- Meaningful Funeral: Played for bittersweet laughs.
- Really Dead Montage: Played for dark comedy, as most of the clips are either of the group mistreating him or him getting fed up with that treatment
- The Scrounger
- Tagalong Kid
- What Kind of Lame Power Is Heart, Anyway?: The Nostalgia Critic does this right to his face, though it doesn't seem to register at first. He clues in by Part 5 and gives him a What the Hell, Hero? back.
- Heart Is an Awesome Power: He's the only one able to beat Malachite.
Played by: James Troken
- Dumb Character Smart Actor: Bill, The Stoner who Malachite kills in the beginning, is played by James Troken, one of Doug's college friends. The Spoony-led cast commentary points out that in real life, he's "a doctor and such".
- No Sense of Direction: He's driven into lakes. Four times.
- Sacrificial Lamb
- The Stoner: "Dude, what are you on? Cause I totally want some!"
- Too Dumb to Live
- Totally Radical
- Your Head Asplode
Played by: Noah Antwiler
- Accidental Misnaming: Doug didn't know the character's name, and wrote him in the script as "Dungeon Master." This resulted in Spoony not realizing that he was expected to film those scenes until the main shoot was over, and Doug asked him to get the shots to him within two weeks.
- Call Back: He played him in his Nightmare review and one of his Ultima reviews.
- Doomy Dooms of Doom: He even says he's contractually obligated to start every appearance with "DOOOOOM!"
- Henpecked Husband
- Large Ham
- No Indoor Voice
Voiced by: Jason Pullara
- The Cameo
- Jerkass: Crom sees anyone who openly prays to him as a weakling. Benzaie is very lucky Crom didn't smite him on the spot, as Crom has done in those cases.
- Unexpected Character: Not as much as Suede, but he did leave the site earlier in 2011 prior to filming the special, so it was unclear if he'd make an appearance or not.
Played by Elisa Hansen
Played by: Doug Walker
- The Cameo
- Catch Phrase: Gets two of them in as his first two lines: "Oh, _____, didn't hear you come in" and "That's a very good question".
- Obfuscating Stupidity/Pet the Dog: He makes it ridiculously easy for Team B to get both things they want.
- Unexpected Character: For the cast.
Played by: Antonella Inserra
- Butt Monkey: It's Nella, what do you expect?
- Stunt Double: She'll gladly cover the Chick's stunts, even putting her own life on the line!
- Written-In Infirmity: Lindsay said she would be "my Patsy", but as Nella couldn't get enough time off work, it was reduced to a cameo.
Played by: Barney Walker