I wonder what's for DINNER.
Well? Does anyone know?
The 'unholy triforce' comments have a basis.
- Zelda's Adventure is the Triforce of Power. It's just different, like how the Triforce of Power has lots of, well, power, but isn't used well and tends to get ignored almost as much as Courage. (Such as how YTP only uses the other two).
- Faces of Evil is the Triforce Of Courage, as Link has focus and Triforce and Link have not been temporarily seperated. Plus, Courage's usual trait of minimal notice manifests as the fact it's not referenced until Harkinian borrows it next game. Also, sometimes you'll need a bit of courage to look at some of the map. Eww.
- Wand of Gamelon is the Triforce Of Wisdom, as Wisdom makes an appearance, blatantly. Also, Zelda seems to be more intelligent than Link, and as it's her day in the sun, she is actually a core protagonist and doesn't have to waste much effort during the true boss fight and just skips to CHAINS! And the Book of Koridai also appears, which makes good sense to not risk things and just shoot him already.
The Triforce's three parts have backup users.
- This may introduce a concept of secondary users of the Triforces. Harkinian could well grab it from Link, who is automatically destined to acquire the Triforce of Courage the moment he becomes heroicish, because the Triforce picked Harkinian as backup if Link got killed or became too unacceptable, which is why other King Harkiniansnote in other Zelda games use it. Impa is the backup for the Triforce of Wisdom, explaining why Zelda doesn't care that her nursemaid is handling an ancient holy relic (And using it effectively!) that rightfully belongs to the princess. Ganon doesn't want a backup, or else it's delegated between all his minion bosses. However, since the Triforce of Power is controlled by a villain, it may well spite the destined controller and give backup to Gwonam, the ruler of Koridai.
The CD-i Games were brought on by a strong drink.
Link was on his adventure. He stumbles upon a strange potion salesman. He buys some and drinks it, but suddenly he feels weird. He's actually drunk some strong beer from overseas. When this dream occurs is up for grabs.
- Probably around the first generation of games and media (LoZ, AoL, the cartoon, and the comics), since they all came out around then. The cartoon was caused by similar potion-induced dreams.
Ganon is actually fighting a war against Zelda the Satan-figure. He loses.
In some texts, Satan
is called the "Lightbringer". What does Ganon say when Zelda appears? "You dare bring light
to my lair?!" That is all.
- And she likes it when you kill people. Good!
Gannon Gannon Gannon Gannon Gannon Gannon Gannon Gannon Gannon Gannon Gannon Gannon...
The CD-i games happened after Giygas
, spinning out of Ganon's control, ate Hyrule.
....one month later
....Gannon Gannon Gannon Gannon Gannon Gannon Gannon Gannon Gannon Gannon Gannon Gannon...
When sent on a quest, his first thought is that he can finally get to bombing Dodongos. Most likely that he goes on these kind of adventures just so he has something to kill.
Gwonam is actually on Ganon's side in Faces of Evil.
When Link says he'll "grab his stuff" to go on his quest to defeat Ganon, Gwonam tells him, "There is no time! Your sword is enough." Link doesn't have his sword on
him at the time, however, and since Link always pulls his stuff out of Hammerspace
anyway, having Link take only his sword is an arbitrary limitation of his power. He wanted
Link to lose. Gwonam's little scene at the end, in which he congratulates Link — "The birds
are singing!" — is a cover-up for his hand in trying to defeat him.Also from the first scene, when he says that "Only Link can defeat Ganon," he is reading from randomly-chosen cuneiform and pictures of fish. He was making it up. If Link, who only had his sword, were killed before reaching Ganon, nobody else would try to defeat Ganon because the prophecy said that only Link could
. Gwonam probably had something to gain from Ganon's victory.
- For proof of him making it up, play Super Smash Bros. Melee.
- Or Brawl. Or even the other two games in the series.
- I will counter that Young Link/Toon Link were much higher tiered, but...
- In fact, it isn't true that only link can defeat Ganon, because Zelda does in the other game.
Gwonam is Ganon.
They have creepily similar names. This stirs up some suspicion...
This is all just a bad dream Link is having.
- It's not just a bad dream, it's a nightmare.
- So this is like Link's Awakening, except Link is really hallucinating while floating on a shred of wood in the middle of the ocean? Would explain a lot.
Not just a bad dream Link is having, but a bad dream Wind Waker
Link is having after months and months on one and the same ship with Tetra
After she hit him with the broomstick for the x-th time as punishment for falling asleep instead of working, he started having nightmares of what it will be like once they found a new Hyrule and Tetra's an actual princess of something... very bad nightmares. The Link in this nightmares is so stupid because that's what the actual Link fears he'll become like if Tetra keeps on punishing him with hits on the head.
- So he would prefer a Groin Attack?
- Faces of Evil is Link's dream, while Wand of Gamelon is Tetra's dream. Naturally, she dreams that Link is a complete failure and it's up to her to rescue him.
In fact, that same bad dream is what starts the plot of Link's Awakening.
They became so unbearable for Link that his mind retconned them from existence... and they were left in the sea, taking the form of Dethl.Eras later, these nightmares would slowly try to take over, using the mirage island as a cover. If Link failed to destroy Dethl, the island would become these games.
Alternatively, this is a dream Groose
- He perceives the people around him as stupid, foolish, and beneath him, and this is taken Up to Eleven in his dreams. The ridiculous villains are all from his own imagination, of course.
Going by the "Same-legend-retold" theory, the CD-i games were told by someone who was very, very drunk.
Part of the reason the second two games feature Zelda as the protagonist: the guy messed up and kept referring to Link as "Zelda" 'cause that's the name in the legend's title.
- Not just any drunk guy... it's the drunk guy who tells you how to fight Glutko. He even gave himself a Marty Stu Author Avatar!
CD-i Link is the son of the CD-i King.
CD-I Link's always at the castle, and the CD-I King calls him "my boy."
The king is never shown in Ocarina of Time
- Wait, wouldn't that mean...
- You've got to be kidding me.
- In the main Zelda canon, this is actually true, at least in some early games. Why they decided to have them dating is a recurring theme in bad Zelda media.
- Actually, there is no mention of them being siblings in the early games; the infamous "Save the Princess... Zelda is your... ... ..." line from A Link to the Past was apparently a mistranslation. In fact, the only Zelda media I'm aware of where they are actually (half-)siblings was the 1st Zelda manga, which is non-canon.
, so the screwdriver company would have no way of knowing what he looked like. He looks just like the Burger King, and that would explain his obsession with dinner.
He wears yellow and everything in his presence is warped into disturbing nonsense. Clearly Link or Zelda found his name somewhere and pronounced it out loud while reading it, thus dragging Hyrule into a thousand-year nightmare.
The birds are NOT, in fact, singing.It's a trap!
Ganon WILL in fact make your face the greatest in all of Koridai.
Unfortunately, you will still DIE.
Ganon isn't a villain, but rather a disgruntled plastic surgeon.
He just wants to make Link's face the greatest in KoriDIE, but people make the assumption that he's not even good enough to improve his own face. Link's refusal of him was his Rant-Inducing Slight
Ganon originally looked human...
Before he was horribly burnt
by his tanning beds
The CD-i games are set in the modern times with some anachronism, and they are the last games in the timeline.
In most of the Youtube Poops and other videos of this kind, you see everyone use modern technology. Though for some reason, their clothes are still like in the older days and they still use old-fashioned ships.
- Which timeline?◊ Makes sense if they're set after Adventure Of Link.
- Technically, YouTube Poops are non-canon, so this wouldn't really make sense.
Everyone's so stupid from inbreeding.
In order to keep the Zelda and Link lines pure, they're strongly discouraged or even forbidden from not marrying close family members. It's happened enough times in reality with "special" lineages.
The King and Zelda are Armenian
Or at least partly Armenian. Their last name, Harkinian, ends in 'ian' like most Armenian names do.
- Considering Hyrule's completely strange climate (in all games), maybe it's located somewhere in Central Asia, nearby the Armenia/Iranian area (where deserts, fields/plateaus, and forested area can coexist with lakes and mountains if we stretch our imagination). The Harkinians could be an Armenian branch of the royal family that took over when the local Hyrulian branch petered out.
- That would also theoreticaly place Koridai somewhere in the Persian Gulf, the Black Sea, or the Caspian Sea. And it could also explain Gwonam's quasi-Middle Eastern appearance!
- Armenians call their country Hayastan, and themselves "HYE", pronounced the same way as the "Hy" in Hyrule, adding another layer to this theory.
He's the only entity in the whole multiverse who's EVIL enough to do this.
Ganon is a tragic villain and Zelda and Link are doomed anyway.
When he threatens Zelda and Link, he says "you will/must die". He doesn't say
will kill you". So there's really a greater The Man Behind the Man
behind him who will make them die regardless of what they do to Ganon. His We Can Rule Together
is a desperate attempt to save Link. All that seemingly-evil posturing? Villain Override
- By that logic, the true villian in The Faces Of Evil is Gwonam. His evil-looking smile while commenting on how the birds are singing is a distraction. He probably attempts to kill Link in a bonus level only accessible by achieving a certain requirement.
- Or, Ganon is being controlled by an otuside force we never see. In many YouTube Poops, Ganon isn't even evil at all, or is just a jerk at the most. Weegee and the Tails Doll are more often portrayed as stronger villians, so it's likely one of them controlled Ganon for their own purposes.
Following up on the Armenian theory. The slight name change could occur naturally over time (Truth in Television
here), and it would explain a whole lot about Petra's personality...
- They also tried to name her after Tetra, but a smudge on the document they were reading about her made it look like the word Petra. By "They" I mean her parents.
The Phillips CD-i never existed
It was just a simple flash/sprite scene joke claiming to be the worst Zelda game ever made. He made something out of old tv remotes, paid video games reviewers, and created several others like it just to keep up the charade.
And everyone bought it.
The CD-i King's Sprite looks like the King's sprite from A Link to the Past
(I know, he looks different in the cutscenes, but this is the CD-i we're talking about). Also, Ganon is imprisoned, not killed, in these games.
The CD-i Games contain a coded message for winning Armageddon.
that The Devil
is the Big Bad
IRL, though you'd never know by his actual actions.
Ganon is the Big Bad
in The Legend of Zelda
, so he's a stand-in for The Devil
. In these games, you Throw The Book At Him
to defeat him. Hell is a Pit that burns.
Where to start? King Harkinian, who looks far older in the animated series? The younger-looking Link and Zelda in the games, with Zelda enough of an Action Girl
to go on her own adventure instead of just being a Distressed Damsel
? Link asking for a kiss in the Faces of Evil opening? Impa probably died in the intervening time. The Ganon appearance is fairly similar, if you take into account the possibility of his snout lengthening and his voice changing, caused by continued exposure to evil magic (made less human as time passes, perhaps), or the Russian artists sucking worse at drawing than the show's artists.
Militron is an allegory of Kim-Jong Il.
Militron represents Kim Jong-Il, who brainwashes (in the game, "hardens with fire") innocent Koreans into mindless Stalinists.
"Feel the fire of war!
At the end, when he is taking Link and Zelda away on his carpet, he used much of his magic just to warp them from Ganon's lair to the open skies. He then used what was left of his vitality
to undo the damage Ganon had done, such as reviving the birds to continue singing. His mission accomplished, he faded out of existence, and is never seen in Wand of Gamelon or Zelda's Adventure because of this.
Duke Onkled didn't betray the king of his own free will.
Duke Onkled would never betray his cousin of his own free will. Ganon probably threatened the poor Duke with his life or the life of someone dear to him to do so. Unfortunately, he is never given a chance to explain why he betrayed Hyrule, being threatened by Zelda to give directions quickly, and he probably never told the king why because the King was always intimidating to him, which is even worse for him to deal with now that the King is angry at him. At the last moment, he just decides to beg for mercy, knowing that the king could never kill a relative.
The Ganon you fight in both Wand of Gamelon and Faces of Evil is a mock-up that the real Ganon deploys to distract Link, Zelda, and the King while he further prepares his comeback and to render useless the only things that will imprison him forever.
That explains why this Ganon is such a weakling, The real Ganon is hiding! The Book of Koridai and the Wand of Gamelon are the only objects in Hyrule that can trap Ganon permanently, so Ganon takes notice of this and hatches a plan.
He first sends the first Mock Ganon to invade Koridai to draw the attention of the kingdom. Of course, this generation's Link (being the idiot that he is) falls for it. The book is used up on the mock Ganon and Harkinian naively thinks Ganon is gone for good. A few months later, the real Ganon deploys the second mock Ganon to invade Gamelon and orders him to capture the king to distract Zelda and Link from the kingdom while his forces bust into the castle and poison the wine reserves. Link gets trapped in the mirror, which drained the Triforce of Courage from him. The second Ganon is imprisoned and the Wand used up, the King boldy celebrates with a huge goblet of wine and dies days after. With Link weakened and the king and both artifacts out of the way, Ganon takes over. GAME OVER RETURN OF GANON
There are very good reasons for the lack of quality.
Philips was partnered with Nintendo for quite some time and culminated in what would've potentially been new video game hardware. Nintendo was so happy with it that it trusted Philips to make Zelda and Mario games. Nintendo then predicted the CD-i could not sell and abandoned Philips. The people at Philips were understandably enraged by this and made the Nintendo-licensed games with little to no effort, due to a combination of them being stuck with an agreement from a company that disowned them and knowing there is no chance of the system's success. Philips made the three Zelda games and Hotel Mario
for the sole reason to get the agreement over with as quickly as possible and forget about Nintendo.
- It could have also have been done out of spite for Nintendo, to get back at them for screwing them over. Clearly it worked, given that Nintendo considers these an Old Shame.
Morshu (the Shopkeeper) is actually Dexter Jettster from Star Wars Episode II
After the events of the game, Morshu time travelled with the baker guy to create a diner in the Star Wars Galaxy. The King frequently stops there for DINNER.
If I have heard correctly, there is a significant difference in size between Militron as seen in the cinematic and when he's fought. This can be explained easily. He simply has two differently sized mechs, otherwise identical in appearance. He usually rides the Humongous Mecha
simply for Rule of Cool
and to intimidate the worthless Koridians
, but he is aware that the mecha is too clumsy and unwieldy to successfully fight a single, small opponent, therefore he switches to the more practical Powered Armor
for the battle.
My guess: A fake King of Hyrule who looks exactly like the CD-i king.
Ganon probably knew from the beginning that he'd be screwed if Link actually made it to his lair, seeing as all of his minions die in one hit. As mentioned above, Ganon didn't say to Link that "I will kill you", just that Link will die. Seeing as by defeating him, The King will control Koridai, Ganon probably meant that The King isn't as kind and just as he looks and will probably become The Caligula
if left unopposed, wreaking havoc on the poor islanders. However, he's only saying this because he
wants to be the one to do so. It's a lose-lose situation.
Not only do they look similar, according to Chewiki, the Wand of Gamelon
shopkeeper's real name is I. Fleecem, which, like I.M. Meen, is an Incredibly Lame Pun
involving the word "I". Some time after Wand of Gamelon
, he learned magic, pulled a FaceHeel Turn
, and became the Child Hater Evil Sorceror
we all know and love. He also somehow travelled to Earth, since Chill Manor
is about real-world history. His full name is Ignatius Fleecem Mortimer Meen.
- For an additional bit of evidence, look closely at Meen. He has pointy ears. He must be a Hylian.
Gwonam is the ruler of Koridai.
Most people assume him to be the Court Mage
of Hyrule, but the games never talk about who he is. He only appears when Koridai is in danger, he guides Link through there, he seems to be very familiar with what's going on in Koridai, and after Ganon's invasion is thwarted, he's never seen again. Who's to say he's not just the sorceror-king of Koridai and went to seek out Link to help him fight off the invasion of his kingdom?
- Or he's just a Koridian, and the reason he never shows up again is because he doesn't need Link's help now that his home has been liberated. Note that he has a house in Koridai.
When Zelda kills him, he melts, except for his heart. This is really him turning into LCL, mixed with dye. He was an Angel who Ganon sought out to carry out Hyrule's version of Instrumentality.
He's just recommending that they have Octorok for dinner. After all, the King doesn't seem to know, Octoroks aren't that big, there are horses in Hyrule, and people in real life eat calamari.
- That, or Octoroks just taste so bad, Link is expressing that he's so hungry he wouldn't care as long as he had something to eat.
Faces of Evil and Wand of Gamelon use the Link and Zelda from the first Zelda game, but Zelda's Adventure uses the Zelda from Link to the PastFaces of Evil
and Wand of Gamelon
are based on the Zelda cartoon, which uses the Link and Zelda from the first game. These games would have to take place after Zelda II: The Adventure of Link
, because Link has already recovered the Triforce of Courage. Zelda's character design in Zelda's Adventure
is very similar to the Link to the Past
design, which has never been used in another game since.
And I'm the King of France.
Ozzy funded the games.
Why else would Ganon be called "The Prince of Darkness?"That title comes from the original The Legend of Zelda
A gas leak occurred after ''AoL
, causing the people of Hyrule to lose their minds.
These games take place after this event.
He isn't saying, "Come back when you're a little MMMMMMM richer." He's saying, "...a little MMMMMMM Richter!" In short, he wants Richter to come into the shop.
The person that the game wants us to believe is Link is just a psychotic drug addict. This Ganon is an insane drug addicted hobo in a pig suit, the Zelda is this as well as a serial killer. Everything else is either a drug induced hallucination, hallucination brought about by insanity, or a combination of the above that is also on drugs.
The woman asking for an Arpagos Egg in Wand of Gamelon is Morshu's daughter.
They wear similar clothes (green pants, and a orange vest with yellow trim) and have brown hair.
CD-i Link is the daughter of the L Block and Luigi
Think about it. They all have names starting with L, and Luigi has a green hat just like Link.
The CD-i Games take place in the 'Golden Age' stretch of the timeline presented in Hyrule Historia.
The Golden Age span in the Hyrule Historia timeline takes place after A Link to the Past and before the NES games. It is cited that at this point, the Triforce is used by the Kings of Hyrule directly. The king directly takes a piece of the Triforce with him to go battle Ganon and Impa (who is attached to the royal family) uses another piece. Given that the king is an Adipose Rex
and considers scrubbing floors an appropriate punishment for treason, it's very likely a very upbeat time in Hyrule's history.
The whole thing is a religious metaphor.
The King, Link, and Zelda represent the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. Ganon, the "Prince of Darkness," is Satan, and he can only be defeated by the "Sacred Book." His minions represent sins such as gluttony, gambling, and necromancy. Additionally, "the pit" is sometimes used as a name fore Hell, and it BURNS
Ganon had been suffering for much too longer his painful condition, the constipation which BURNS. Soon it became to much for him, and he reached for the slenderest object in his "lair" (Zelda's leg) and began forcefully unclogging the material from his anus
. Of course, he had to remove her shoe first, as her leg wouldn't quite fit when it was still on
. Then, we she did wake up she said "Why did you do that?" cause naturally, she thought Link
had done that to her.
In-universe explanations as to why hitting friendly NPCs with your sword doesn't actually hurt them
- You're not actually "hitting" them. You're just waving your sword in front of their faces.
Sorry, couldn't resist the pun.
The CD-i games take place in a timeline where Link lost the final battle of Majora's Mask.
Majora then destroyed Termina, traveled to Hyrule and proceeded to drive everyone there insane for funsies. Several generations later... voila.
King Harkinian is canon, and reincarnates just like Link and Zelda.
An unspecified King of Hyrule also appears in the animated series, Ocarina of Time
(who is never shown onscreen, and is implied in the Manga adaptation to have been killed by Ganondorf), and Wind Waker
(who has a prominent role in the story).
Because he is a reincarnation like Link and Zelda, who are always named Link and Zelda no matter what, though he may be born into different lines, his first name is and will always be Daphnes, like it's revealed to be in Wind Waker.
- This has been jossed with King Rhoam in Breath of the Wild.
Ikana Canyon is a destroyed Gamalon
Militron was just a nobody until Ganon gave him his suit of Armour.
He was just a lazy daydreamer who imagined himself as invincible until Ganon gave him his wish.
- In fact this is how most of the bosses were recruited.
Lupay and Harlequin are daughter and son of Ganon.
Possibly he had them trained as warriors so they weren't as weak as himself.
"The Royal Nonesuch" was the intellectual ancestor of all Youtube Poop.
Ganon's minions only joined him to further their own selfish goals.
Some of those minions were
really dangerous, when you analyze them; for example, Gibdo and Goronu both planned to resurrect the dead and enslave or kill the living, Glutko and Omfak were huge gluttons that plan to eat everyone and everything, respectively, and Lupay and Harlequin enslaved those that were unable to pay their debts to them. However, they wouldn't have amounted to much if they had not allied themselves with Ganon, who was evil, powerful, and well-known.
Even if Link and Zelda failed to defeat them, there was a likely chance some of those minions would take out Ganon themselves.
King Hankinian sentencing Onkled to scrub every floor in Hyrule is a very elaborate death sentence.
Think about it. Half the time Link only just barely makes it out of the innumerable dungeons in one piece
and he doesn't have to stop to clean every single floor. And since Link has already been through them this time that means Onkled won't even be able to get the items you need to get through the dungeons. Not to mention that Hyrule has floors that literally come to life and try to kill you.