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Video Game / Bumper Wars

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Bumper Wars is a "combat racing" game from 2001, developed by Boston Animation and published by Simon & Schuster Interactive. The plot is as follows: you, the player, are guilty of flying in restricted space, which is a capital offense. Your sentence is to play in the eponymous Bumper Wars until you die. If you win 15 rounds, the Zeddites (the alien race that arrested you) will be forced to set you free. Lose one round and your fate is sealed.

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This game provides examples of:

  • Big "NO!": The Zeddite narrator who talks to you throughout the game gives two of these in the ending sequence.
  • Cool and Unusual Punishment: Even though the game is deadly, it's still bumper cars but with weaponry.
  • Deadly Game: The Bumper Wars themselves. Although for some reason, you don't die during the matches themselves; you only die if you run out of time and haven't killed enough opponents. It should also be noted that you respawn if you run out of health, and if one opponent car kills another, it will respawn.
  • Have a Nice Death: Every time you fail a mission, a Zeddite will insult you. Examples:
    We expected to feast on your pointless valor, but you give us only a light snack!
    We expected no more from you, human.
    Next time, try harder. OOP! There is no "next time".
    The curtain descends early on your pathetic little tragedy.
    Congratulations! Ignominy is yours!
    You crumble under pressure like a dessicated insect! Begone!
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  • Ironic Echo: In the intro sequence, the Zeddite narrator says that "Whoever offends the Zeddites will pay, and pay, and PAY!" At the end, he tells the Zeddite Commander that, to avoid his own punishment, he and his crew will pay anything. "Please, we'll pay! And pay, and pay, and pay!"
  • Large Ham: The Zeddite who taunts you before each level, insults you when you lose, and tells you not to get your hopes up when you win.
  • My Friends... and Zoidberg: "Gentlemen, start your engines! ...Oh, you, too, microbe."
  • Title Drop: From the intro sequence: "The rebellious everywhere shall know the horrors of... the Wheel of Ferris; the Barrel O' Fun; and our darkest triumph of all: BUMPER WARS!"

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