"I believe it is the job of every villain, in the third act, to explain the plot."
"When I've captured my adversary and he says, 'Look, before you kill me, will you at least tell me what this is all about?' I'll say, 'No.' and shoot him. No, on second thought I'll shoot him then say 'No.'"
— Evil Overlord List #7
"Isn't that obvious? Bad guys always spill their master plans right before they get foiled. That's as old school as it gets."
— Kaname Chidori, One Night Stand
"Why don't we stop and have a nice little chat while I tell you all my plans and you can work out a way to stop me, I don't think!"
— The Master, Doctor Who, "Utopia"
Eleventh Doctor: Tell me the whole plan!
Vampires: (hiss)
Eleventh Doctor: (about-faces, so he's looking at the camera) One day, that'll work.
Vampires: (hiss)
Eleventh Doctor: (about-faces, so he's looking at the camera) One day, that'll work.
Jarra To: Won't be long now; things are coming nicely to the boil! Soon be time to jump in my lovely new TARDIS and get the hell out of... well, Hell.
[Beat]
Jarra To: Oh, come on, that begged an inane bleat of "What, Jarra?" "Why, Jarra?" "Three bags full, Jarra!"
[Beat]
Jarra To: Aw, you're no fun. Well, see if I care! Here, let's try this for size... [shapeshifts into Erimem] Oh Jarra, what do you mean by that, Jarra? [shapeshifts back to her true form] Well, isn't it obvious? I intend to wipe out this entire stunted timeline, suck it into a big portal and into some big cosmic vacuum bag! [shapeshifts into Erimem] But Jarra, can you really do that? [shapeshifts back to her true form] Of course! I punched a hole through to the Axis, didn't I? I'm just making a bigger hole in the old dimensional wall! [shapeshifts into Erimem] But why, Jarra, why? [[shapeshifts back to her true form] Because I want to cover my tracks, bury the who and what I was, make a bright shiny fresh start in my handy-dandy TARDIS, ♪pack up my troubles in an old kit bag♪-
Erimem: SHUT UP, SHUT UP!!! Just. Shut. Up. Please.
[Beat]
Jarra To: Oh, come on, that begged an inane bleat of "What, Jarra?" "Why, Jarra?" "Three bags full, Jarra!"
[Beat]
Jarra To: Aw, you're no fun. Well, see if I care! Here, let's try this for size... [shapeshifts into Erimem] Oh Jarra, what do you mean by that, Jarra? [shapeshifts back to her true form] Well, isn't it obvious? I intend to wipe out this entire stunted timeline, suck it into a big portal and into some big cosmic vacuum bag! [shapeshifts into Erimem] But Jarra, can you really do that? [shapeshifts back to her true form] Of course! I punched a hole through to the Axis, didn't I? I'm just making a bigger hole in the old dimensional wall! [shapeshifts into Erimem] But why, Jarra, why? [[shapeshifts back to her true form] Because I want to cover my tracks, bury the who and what I was, make a bright shiny fresh start in my handy-dandy TARDIS, ♪pack up my troubles in an old kit bag♪-
Erimem: SHUT UP, SHUT UP!!! Just. Shut. Up. Please.
"No, you warrant no villain's exposition from me."
— Jon Irenicus, refusing to fall for that old trick, Baldur's Gate II: Shadows of Amn
"Now that I have you in my power, I shall tell you my whole life story!"
"Thanks for the tip," I grunted. "While we're at it, I don't suppose you'd care to tell me your nefarious plans?"
I readied myself for another rousing round of Catherine-tries-not-to-die, but the attack never came. The Rider was twitching, mouth twisting in discomfort.
"Since you are about to die anyway," he said reluctantly, through gritted teeth, "I might as well reveal the depths of your failure."
Wait, what? That never worked. Not even with Heiress and she lived for this stuff. It certainly didn't look like he wanted to tell me any of this.
"This struggle is but a distraction," the Rider said. "You are meant to waste time and die here while the true war is fought in Creation."
Masego had told me once that Arcadia worked according to different rules than Creation. I'd only been pretending to listen when he'd been talking about how that affected the creational laws governing the flow of time – which was, apparently, a classical element. I really needed to learn what those were at some point – but one part had actually been interesting enough I'd tuned back in. Arcadia was, in a lot of ways, rawer than Creation proper. In Creation stories bound only the Named, but in Arcadia everything was a story. It was why everything was so changeable. I was standing in front of an enemy clearly winning against me, at his mercy, and had just prompted him to gloat and reveal his plans. So he had. Even if he didn't want to.
I readied myself for another rousing round of Catherine-tries-not-to-die, but the attack never came. The Rider was twitching, mouth twisting in discomfort.
"Since you are about to die anyway," he said reluctantly, through gritted teeth, "I might as well reveal the depths of your failure."
Wait, what? That never worked. Not even with Heiress and she lived for this stuff. It certainly didn't look like he wanted to tell me any of this.
"This struggle is but a distraction," the Rider said. "You are meant to waste time and die here while the true war is fought in Creation."
Masego had told me once that Arcadia worked according to different rules than Creation. I'd only been pretending to listen when he'd been talking about how that affected the creational laws governing the flow of time – which was, apparently, a classical element. I really needed to learn what those were at some point – but one part had actually been interesting enough I'd tuned back in. Arcadia was, in a lot of ways, rawer than Creation proper. In Creation stories bound only the Named, but in Arcadia everything was a story. It was why everything was so changeable. I was standing in front of an enemy clearly winning against me, at his mercy, and had just prompted him to gloat and reveal his plans. So he had. Even if he didn't want to.
"YOU INTERRUPTED MY SPEEEEEEECH!"
— Starscream, Transformers: Animated
"Hey, I just totally gummed your subplot. Now let me gloat about it in front of you so you can easily fix it."
— The Nostalgia Chick, on the "villain" of The Baby-Sitters Club
"Why don't you fill me in on your plan, Briar? Isn't that what the power-crazed villain usually does?"
— Foaly, Artemis Fowl: The Arctic Incident
"I've seen way too many Bond Movies to know you never give away your entire plan no matter how close you think you are to succeeding."
— Azrael, Dogma
"Before you die, I'm going to tell you a little secret, just to make it so you really don't want to die."
— Countdown Vampires
"'Do it?' Dan, I'm not a Republic serial villain. Did you seriously think I would explain my masterstroke if there remained the slightest chance of you affecting its outcome? I did it thirty-five minutes ago."
— Ozymandias, Watchmen
Wolfgang: What is it you want me to say, Your Grace? Something like "you are going to die anyway so I might as well tell you", perhaps?
Vimes: Well, it'd be a help.
Wolfgang: You are going to die anyway. Why don't you tell me?
Vimes: Well, it'd be a help.
Wolfgang: You are going to die anyway. Why don't you tell me?
Syndrome: Now you respect me. Because I'm a threat. That's the way it works. Turns out there are a lot of people — whole countries — who want respect. And they will pay through the nose to get it. How do you think I got rich? I invented weapons. And now I have a weapon that only I can defeat. And when I unleash it I'll —
[Mr. Incredible throws a broken tree stump at him. Syndrome dodges and freezes him with his tractor beam]
Syndrome: [Chuckling] You sly dog! You got me monologuing!
[Mr. Incredible throws a broken tree stump at him. Syndrome dodges and freezes him with his tractor beam]
Syndrome: [Chuckling] You sly dog! You got me monologuing!
"He knew what would be coming- justification. It was always so. When they thought they had got you where they wanted you, when they knew they were decisively on top, before the knock-out, even to an audience on the threshold of extinction, it was pleasant, reassuring to the executioner, to deliver his apologia- purge the sin he was about to commit."
Flare Admin: The legendary Pokémon IS at the end of this chamber, after all.
Flare Grunt: Why did you tell them that?! Who would even do something like that?!
Flare Grunt: Why did you tell them that?! Who would even do something like that?!
"Traditionally, I should explain everything to you," said Swellhead. "But I am not one of those inadequates who need the respect of his enemies. I don't mind toiling in the dark. My achievements are their own satisfaction."
Darth Drongo: I suppose you wonder why I went and pawned all this amber fluid, eh?
Merve Bushwacker: Nope! I don't give a stuff, mate!
Merve Bushwacker: Nope! I don't give a stuff, mate!
Airi: Hey, Fumi...! What're you doing with that laptop?
Keita: Hmph... she's gonna hack into your phones and erase all your stuff. Then you're helpless.
Ronaldo: What...!? But, our summoning apps—
Keita: Right, you'll never be able to use them again. Now, what do you say?
Fumi: Keita, you dope! Why're you telling them that? Are you seriously that stupid?
Keita: I've always wanted to fight them, especially Hibiki. They need to be serious.
Keita: Hmph... she's gonna hack into your phones and erase all your stuff. Then you're helpless.
Ronaldo: What...!? But, our summoning apps—
Keita: Right, you'll never be able to use them again. Now, what do you say?
Fumi: Keita, you dope! Why're you telling them that? Are you seriously that stupid?
Keita: I've always wanted to fight them, especially Hibiki. They need to be serious.
"I respect your thirst for knowledge, Mister Bond. You are a soldier, just like me. I will explain. I don't want you to die ignorant of how we have beaten you, gaijin."
— Goro Yoshida, The Man with the Red Tattoo
Tony Stark: What's the vibranium for?
Ultron: I'm glad you asked that, because I wanted to take this time to explain my evil plan... (shoots Stark in the face)
Ultron: I'm glad you asked that, because I wanted to take this time to explain my evil plan... (shoots Stark in the face)
Dr. Drakken: So, Kim Possible, you think to thwart my plan...
Shego: Don't stop to tell her the plan!
Dr. Drakken: I'll handle this, Shego!
Shego: Yeah, all I know is, every time you stop to blab about your big plan, she wins!
Shego: Don't stop to tell her the plan!
Dr. Drakken: I'll handle this, Shego!
Shego: Yeah, all I know is, every time you stop to blab about your big plan, she wins!
"Take him into the hold, take ten minutes to explain all our plans to him... then... throw him out of the plane!"
—Captain Voorhese, discussing how to handle Ace Rimmer in Red Dwarf
The Master: I don't have to prove anything to you! Prove.
The Vault Dweller: Your ego demands you tell me. All villains have this strange urge to explain everything.
The Vault Dweller: Your ego demands you tell me. All villains have this strange urge to explain everything.
— Fallout
Piccolo: Listen, I've obviously lost this fight. Without my arm, I'm finished.
Nail: Wait, can't you regrow your-
Kami: Shut up, Nail, he's doing a thing!
Cell: Ah, submission. A second-favorite to futile resistance.
Piccolo: But before you finish me off, how 'bout you tell me everything about you?
Cell: Ah, well...
Piccolo: Unless you don't have anything important to say.
Cell: No, no, it's just you're the first person to ask me "who" or "what". Normally, they just ask... "Why?"
Nail: Wait, can't you regrow your-
Kami: Shut up, Nail, he's doing a thing!
Cell: Ah, submission. A second-favorite to futile resistance.
Piccolo: But before you finish me off, how 'bout you tell me everything about you?
Cell: Ah, well...
Piccolo: Unless you don't have anything important to say.
Cell: No, no, it's just you're the first person to ask me "who" or "what". Normally, they just ask... "Why?"
Whore! Stop interrupting my villain monologue!
— Junko Enoshima, Danganronpa 3
Daisy Couture: Do your enemies honestly just...tell you their plans?
Wonderella: Christ, they never shut up about 'em!
Wonderella: Christ, they never shut up about 'em!
"'Just between you and me', don't you love that phrase? You might as well say, 'Make sure it gets in the papers.'"
— Bill Holtzer, A Clean Kill in Tokyo
And here's my little secret: I killed Mufasa.
—Scar, The Lion King (1994)
Nicodemus: I take it that this is the portion of the conversation where I reveal my plans to you?
Harry: What have you got to lose?
Nicodemus: And apparently you expect me to tell you of any vulnerabilities I might have as well. I am wounded by the lack of professional respect that implies.
Harry: Chicken.
Harry: What have you got to lose?
Nicodemus: And apparently you expect me to tell you of any vulnerabilities I might have as well. I am wounded by the lack of professional respect that implies.
Harry: Chicken.
"This is but phase one of my secret evil plan! Which I will now explain in detail..."
— Marina, Splatoon 2
"Since you are one of the few people who could possibly understand my genius, I will now explain my entire plan to you in nauseating detail."
— Napeoleon LeRoach, SPY Fox 2: Some Assembly Required
Hero: Why did you kill him? Did you even go over your evil plan?
Villain: No! It's none of y'all damn business!
Villain: No! It's none of y'all damn business!
— If movie villains didn't waste time [1]
Boss Baby: You were my hero! How did you end up here?
Francis E. Francis: You know what I do to little kids who ask lots of questions about me? (shouting to his assistant) Eugene! I read them my story. And, I baked cookies!
Francis E. Francis: You know what I do to little kids who ask lots of questions about me? (shouting to his assistant) Eugene! I read them my story. And, I baked cookies!
Bane Johns: [tied to a table as a laser tracks towards him] While we're waiting why don't you tell me about your evil plans? It's not like I'm going to escape to tell anyone.
Gol-Fingy: Uhhhh don really got one of dose. Was gonna take da posh umies money den push 'im out the airlock, but since my Kroozer's run off I'm really jus plannin to cut some nosy 'ummie in 'alf wif my deff laser.
Gol-Fingy: Uhhhh don really got one of dose. Was gonna take da posh umies money den push 'im out the airlock, but since my Kroozer's run off I'm really jus plannin to cut some nosy 'ummie in 'alf wif my deff laser.
Peter: We have an arrangement. She [Miss Lana] made sure Narim was defenseless, and I loaned her some troops. I get to rule over Narim. She gets the muscle to do whatever she wants in Cinder. So, not really my problem.
Zas: Um...anyone else wonder why he's just standing there telling us all this? Seems kind of silly, if you think about it. "Oooooh...I'm a bad guy now, and here's my whole evil plan." I mean, who does that?
Peter: Enough! I'm in charge here! Plus, none of you are going to make it out alive.
Zas: Um...anyone else wonder why he's just standing there telling us all this? Seems kind of silly, if you think about it. "Oooooh...I'm a bad guy now, and here's my whole evil plan." I mean, who does that?
Peter: Enough! I'm in charge here! Plus, none of you are going to make it out alive.
James Bond: At least tell me the details of your plan for world domination!
Blofeld: (chuckling) Oh no, I'm not falling for that one again!
Blofeld: (chuckling) Oh no, I'm not falling for that one again!
— The Simpsons, "$pringfield (Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Legalized Gambling)"
"There's three ways to stop me from doin' what I do! (Beat) ...What - you think I'mma tell you?"
— "Boogie Woogie Wu", The Great Milenko
"Now, I understand everything! Now your whole evil plan is as clear as day! (pause) But if you need to explain it to your men I will understand!"
— Dean Pelton, Community: "For a Few Paintballs More"
"A good magician never reveals his plans! But a good villain always does… Oh, I'm torn, guys, gotta be honest."
— Hypno-Potamus, Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, 'Hypno! Part Deux!'
Streltsy knows who Rockson is and is planning to torture Rockson for information. But first he needs to explain his dastardly plan in detail. Like the worst torturer ever, we proceed with several pages of Rock asking questions and Streltsy providing extensive answers.
— AFOIAF review of Doomsday Warrior #10: American Nightmare
Shit, I'mma go ahead and say it, ain't no one ever gonna hear. You beat me.
—Barracuda to Frank Castle, The Punisher MAX
Henchman: He is also aware of the whole purpose of our mission here!
Crow: I got...sort of...chatty.
Crow: I got...sort of...chatty.
"You wondered why I gave you the empty gun. Why not? I had another one in my bag. Like this."
Her right hand came up from her coat pocket and she pointed it at me.
I grinned. It may not have been the heartiest grin in the world, but it was a grin.
"I've never liked this scene," I said. "Detective confronts murderer. Murder produces gun, points same at detective. Murderer tells detective the whole sad story, with the idea of shooting him at the end of it. Thus wasting a lot of valuable time, even if in the end the murder did shoot detective. Only murderer never does. Something always happens to prevent it. The gods don't like the scene either. They always manage to spoil it."
"But this time," she said softly and got up and moved toward me softly across the carpet, "suppose we make it a little different. Suppose I don't tell you anything and nothing happens and I do shoot you?"
"I still wouldn't like the scene," I said.
Her right hand came up from her coat pocket and she pointed it at me.
I grinned. It may not have been the heartiest grin in the world, but it was a grin.
"I've never liked this scene," I said. "Detective confronts murderer. Murder produces gun, points same at detective. Murderer tells detective the whole sad story, with the idea of shooting him at the end of it. Thus wasting a lot of valuable time, even if in the end the murder did shoot detective. Only murderer never does. Something always happens to prevent it. The gods don't like the scene either. They always manage to spoil it."
"But this time," she said softly and got up and moved toward me softly across the carpet, "suppose we make it a little different. Suppose I don't tell you anything and nothing happens and I do shoot you?"
"I still wouldn't like the scene," I said.
Supergirl: "Don't bother painting on that fake birthmark again, you phoney! I've just discovered that the real Danvers is dead!"
Biff Rigger: "Okay! So you found me out! Now you might as well know the rest of it!"
Biff Rigger: "Okay! So you found me out! Now you might as well know the rest of it!"
