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Quotes / Just Eat Gilligan

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Fiction

I like the professor, he always saved their butts
He could build a nuclear reactor from a couple of coconuts
She said, "That guy's a genius"
I shook my head and laughed
I said, "If he's so fly, then tell me why
He couldn't build a lousy raft"
"Weird Al" Yankovic, "Isle Thing"

Harry: Well Buddy we couldn't very well tell people that you spent a year tryin' to figure out ways to get Gilligan off the island.
Buddy: I came up with ten thousand ideas.
Mac: Ideas? Uh, like making a bamboo raft?
Buddy: Ten thousand and one!

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Without my emotions I am thinking quite logically. For example, the reason they couldn't build a boat on Gilligan's Island is because it would end the series.
Emotionless Timmy Turner, The Fairly OddParents

Man; do they realize how many times they could've gotten off that island if it weren't for Gilligan? *beat* Why don't they just kill him?
Brighton Sheffield, The Nanny

Found your pants! Series is over!
Wyldstyle, solving the central dilemma of "Where Are My Pants?", The LEGO Movie

Problem Solved, Series over.
Metal Gear Solid 3 HD edition, if you choose to shoot Ocelot when you can

Donkey: I don't get it, Shrek. Why don't you just pull some of that ogre stuff on him? You know, throttle him, lay siege to his fortress, grind his bones to make your bread. You know, the whole ogre trip.
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Shrek: Oh, I know what. Maybe I could have decapitated an entire village and put their heads on a pike, gotten a knife, cut open their spleen and drink their fluids. Does that sound good to you?
Donkey: Uh... No, not really. No.

Narrator: So, giving Sarge a chance like this seems a little unlike you.
Natsumi Hinata: There’s no way he can solve a Rubik’s Cube puzzle. This way, I can at least get him out of my face for a while.
Narrator: Ah, so devious. If Natsumi was leading the frog platoon, Earth would have been brutally conquered months ago.

Reviews

Why does Gizmo keep producing such evil little children? If you ask me, Gizmo's the problem here...What I'm trying to say is, why hasn't Gizmo been destroyed?

For all we know, he's the only Mogwai who produces evil offspring. All the other ones might produce really, really nice, gentle, caring, lovable Mogwai like Gizmo himself. But it's Gizmo who's the problem here.

Kill it.

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Ettis is one of those characters that turns up in Doctor Who at least once a season who is so obstinate and irrational he is constructed out of plot conveniences rather than characteristics. He is just there to muddy the waters, to stir up trouble and to get in the Doctor’s way. Without Ettis this story could comfortably be three parts long...Ettis handicaps events because that is what he is designed to do. Come episode four he has to be put out of his misery...There was nothing more extreme to be done with this cipher.

"Invasive Procedures" is also the single biggest demonstration of the problems facing Quark as a main character. Quite frankly, he’s a convenient tool for lazy writers to endanger the station. The first season had quite a few 'Quark does something illegal and/or stupid to get the plot moving' hooks in stories like Babel, Q-Less, The Passenger, Move Along Home and Vortex. Not all of them were entirely foreseeable, but it undermines the character to use him as such a convenient plot device, and it makes the regular cast look like idiots for keeping him around. Here, he makes an exceedingly stupid mistake with incredibly foreseeable consequences. It’s hard to argue with Yeto’s assessment that, in letting a bunch of armed Klingons on to an abandoned station, Quark is a 'stupid Ferengi.' ...This makes Quark look like an idiot, but also undermines the ensemble.

Picard: All right, I know exactly where I want to go. To the mountaintop on Veridian 3 just before Soran destroyed the star.
Nostalgia Critic: What? Why there? Why don't you go to when you first picked him up or when you decided to go out there in the first place? Fuck, why don't you go back and save your brother's family while you're at it?! What is this shit about being put back in the moment you already know you lost in?! What are you, a moron?! Did everyone's brains just get beamed out of their heads?!

"Why does Time-Hunted Sarah Connor Keep Going By 'Sarah Connor?'"

"You seem to target McCarthy for writing dumb villains, but honestly, the villains in general aren't that bright. Nightmare Moon was dumber than any villain McCarthy ever wrote. And while I'll give Discord a little leeway in that it's more in character for him to want to play around than take steps to immediately win, The Return of Harmony is filled with constant 'why doesn't Discord just ________?' questions. Him not taking instant wins may be more justified, but it doesn't make him less foolish. Quite frankly, I think the only villains in the entire series that were particularly competent were Sombra and the Dazzlings (and Sombra sadly lacked any real personality). I guess Tirek was decent also if you ignore him deciding to just leave the main characters for no apparent reason."
Lord Seth on the villains of My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic

"They would have to beefed up the military a quite a bit if they want to stand a better chance against enemies but the best thing they could do is have anti-magic weapons and armor made. That would defeat 90% of the show's major villains with almost no problems."
Lonewolf Venris on the villains of My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic

Other

Replicators are the worst thing ever. Destroys storytelling all the time. They mean there’s no value to anything. Nothing has value in the universe if you can just replicate everything, so all that goes away. Nothing is unique; if you break something, you can just make another one. If something breaks on the ship, it’s "Oh, no big deal, Geordi can just go down to engineering and make another doozywhatsit." Or they go to a planet and that planet needed something: "Oh, hey, let’s make them what they need!" (The writers room) just hated it and tried to forget about it as much as possible.
Ron Moore on Star Trek replicators.

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