Gordon: Gentlemen, clearly comfortable with your meat. Tennille, how thick do you like your sausage?
Tennille: Chef, I don't like sausage.
Gordon: Van, the secret of a good sausage is what?
Van: Hold it steady, then pump it slow and easy...
This girl walks into a bar and orders a Double Entendre. So the Bartender gives it to her!
— Traditional
I put the 'in-you' in innuendo.
— Gary Dendthwidth, The Physics of Giving
What red-blooded American male wouldn't want to dock his canoe in Natalie's port, man? (rimshot)
— Mr. Plinkett reviews The Phantom Menace
Hinjo: There's not even anyone aboard yet... What's going on here?
Lien: This was Lord Shojo's personal pleasure yacht, though I suppose it belongs to you now. This is your junk
.
. Hinjo: But why aren't there any citizens aboard it yet?
Lien: Your uncle was a very private person, sir. He forbade anyone from touching his junk.
Hinjo: Well, that ends now. My uncle may have kept his junk to himself, but my junk will be for the people! Are there still evacuees waiting to board a ship?
Lien: Oh, yes, sir. I imagine I'll have no trouble finding people willing to get aboard your junk. It should be able to hold many passengers.
Hinjo: I agree, my junk appears to be quite long...
Roy: Wider than I would have expected, too.
Hinjo: Very well. Lien, you hold my junk here until it is fully loaded.
Lien: That could take some time, Lord Hinjo...
Hinjo: I don't care how long it takes. I don't want my junk to launch prematurely. Now, did you deliver that package for me?
Soldier: Yes, sir. I handled your package personally.
Hinjo: Outstanding.
— The Order of the Stick #418, "It's a Type of Boat"
Angus: Busy night, eh?
Hannelore: Yes, very!
Angus: It sure sounded like you were enjoying yourselves.
Hannelore: Oh no, did we keep you up? I tried to be quiet!
Angus: It's cool. It's hard to be quiet when you're that excited.
Hannelore: At first I wasn't really sure what was going on, but Marigold explained everything as we went along, and then I just go carried away, you know?
Angus: I'm impressed you were able to keep up with her all night like that.
Hannelore: Heheh, I'm sorta regretting it now. My butt is all sore!
Marigold: HANNELORE, he's IMPLYING—
Angus: No! Don't say it! You'll break the spell!
Hannelore: (to Marigold) My favorite part was when you took on those four guys at once! And then that giant dog!
"Are you ready to contend with what's in my pants?"
"After I play Buster Brothers I'm gonna bust a nut!"
"I'll show you why they call me Big Dong Donkey Kong."
"Look in my pants and I'll show you why they call it the Playstation."
"I'll show something that's Weltall."
with what's in my pants?" "After I play Buster Brothers
I'm gonna bust a nut!" "I'll show you why they call me Big Dong Donkey Kong
." "Look in my pants and I'll show you why they call it the Playstation
." "I'll show something that's Weltall."
— Some of the videogame-related double entendres made by Diabetus for their Flights of Fantasy Retsupuraes
I think the movie has reached its climax!
Nothing less than seven inches. That's my motto.
Mama needs her cough medicine. And make it a double, Antandra.
— Jackie Washington, Jackie's Back!
I'd like to double her entendre!
— The Todd, Scrubs
In your endo!
— The Todd, Scrubs
Ann Romano: Damn it, Schneider! I asked you to fix that damn sink two days ago!
Schneider: Oh, I'll fix your sink, Ms. Romano. And by that I mean I'll have sex with you. And by have sex with you, I mean I'll fix your sink. And by "sink," I mean your reproductive organ. And by "reproductive organ", I mean the thing between your knees. And by "the thing between your knees", I...well, I guess that one's kind of self-explanatory.
Schneider: Oh, I'll fix your sink, Ms. Romano. And by that I mean I'll have sex with you. And by have sex with you, I mean I'll fix your sink. And by "sink," I mean your reproductive organ. And by "reproductive organ", I mean the thing between your knees. And by "the thing between your knees", I...well, I guess that one's kind of self-explanatory.
— Family Guy, "The Son Also Draws"
Let me blow you - away!
You won't believe your eyes and ears today!
You are in for a surprise
When you look into my eyes
You won't be able to deny my gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaze!
Sarge: Wait a minute, Donut, your what?
Donut: Come on, Sarge! You can't deny my deep, penetrating, eye contact! My gaze! What did you think I said?
Sarge: Uh, don't ask.
Donut: Don't tell!
Let me blow you... away!
There is nothing that I will not do or say
To attain a right companion
In this hot and sweaty canyon
Like a stallion I am bursting through the gaaaaaaaaaaaate!
Simmons: A what?
Donut: You know, a stallion, a stud, a horse with a big-
Simmons: Don't say it.
Donut: Saddle! Now, who wants to mount up?
Simmons: Oh God...
Brock: I'll take care of this. This has been a long time coming. Me and her got to get something straight between us. (leaves)
The Alchemist: You think he even knows how many double entendres that was?
-The Venture Brothers Operation P.R.O.M.
Skitter: Do you need me to take a different position?
Clockblocker: Once upon a time, I would have had something clever to say in response to that.
Clockblocker: Once upon a time, I would have had something clever to say in response to that.
— Worm
Harvey Copies: We know what you've been up to Elliott — or should I say "The Deadly Duplicator"? Your reproductive days are over!
Judge: (twirling golfclub) Deedle-eedle-ee!
It will only take one thrust to penetrate your frail form and finish you off immediately!
—Mara (a demon shaped like a Gag Penis, just to rub it in) before her boss fight, Devil Summoner 2: Raidou Kuzunoha vs. King Abaddon
Even you won't be able to beat off this magnificent schlong.
—The Terminal Guardian ("Intuitive Man" disguise), Shin Megami Tensei IV, as he summons Mara
"There's something loose between my legs, apart from the obvious. Around my feet, I mean. I'd be proud if it was what you think it is, but it's not."
— Sebastian Vettel during the 2018 Formula One Brazilian Grand Prix
"While I love beautiful women admiring my balls and touching my staff..."
— Harry Dresden, an untitled fic
Tanaka (warily): "Are you two always like that?"
Rei: "They've improved greatly since they synchronized. Now they are totally familiar with each other's moves,"
Tanaka: "Er,...that means...?"
Rei: "They developed a bond beyond the physical,"
Tanaka: "Wait... you mean-"
Asuka: "It was training, alright? We trained in sync, for a simultaneous attack! Only for a battle! That's all! We didn't do anything improper, no matter what you're imagining!"
Rei:"Though I believe this bond predates that session. Ikari is the first person Pilot Soryu ever let inside her Entry Plug."
Tanaka: "Is... is she talking about-"
Asuka: "NO,"
[...]
Tanaka: "Um, right. So how do you fit into this, Rei?"
Rei: "I must bond with both of them. I believe it will prove difficult. Soryu is not a willing partner."
Tanaka: "But Ikari-kun... er, is?"
Rei: "I already have a bond with Ikari-kun."
Asuka: "What?! S-since when?"
Rei: "Since after the Fifth Angel, when he forced open my armor with his blade and burst into my Entry Plug. No one else had ever gotten to my core with such need. He was urgent and forceful. It... made me smile. [...]I would like to do it again. Maybe more than once."
Asuka: "... I-it was the battle, all right, she's talking about the Eva! Baka-Shinji had to breach her Eva's armor after the Fifth Angel melted it to get her out! He just had to use the Eva's knife to break through since it was too hard! Not her um... 'core' or anything! The armor! Hard armor!"
Rei: "They've improved greatly since they synchronized. Now they are totally familiar with each other's moves,"
Tanaka: "Er,...that means...?"
Rei: "They developed a bond beyond the physical,"
Tanaka: "Wait... you mean-"
Asuka: "It was training, alright? We trained in sync, for a simultaneous attack! Only for a battle! That's all! We didn't do anything improper, no matter what you're imagining!"
Rei:"Though I believe this bond predates that session. Ikari is the first person Pilot Soryu ever let inside her Entry Plug."
Tanaka: "Is... is she talking about-"
Asuka: "NO,"
[...]
Tanaka: "Um, right. So how do you fit into this, Rei?"
Rei: "I must bond with both of them. I believe it will prove difficult. Soryu is not a willing partner."
Tanaka: "But Ikari-kun... er, is?"
Rei: "I already have a bond with Ikari-kun."
Asuka: "What?! S-since when?"
Rei: "Since after the Fifth Angel, when he forced open my armor with his blade and burst into my Entry Plug. No one else had ever gotten to my core with such need. He was urgent and forceful. It... made me smile. [...]I would like to do it again. Maybe more than once."
Asuka: "... I-it was the battle, all right, she's talking about the Eva! Baka-Shinji had to breach her Eva's armor after the Fifth Angel melted it to get her out! He just had to use the Eva's knife to break through since it was too hard! Not her um... 'core' or anything! The armor! Hard armor!"
Asuka: "And damn near everything out of your mouth was a huge double entendre!"
Rei: "What is a 'double-entendre'?"
Asuka: "You... what? You really... Are you screwing with me, First?"
Rei: "I am not screwing with you, Pilot Soryu."
Asuka: "A double entendre is when you say something superficially ordinary with deliberate sexual double meaning. When you started telling Tanaka about 'Ikari-kun was the first one in Soryu's Entry Plug', she's going to think you're making a joke about us having sex! And 'he burst into my core' and 'I would like to do it again' makes it sound like baka-Shinji's doing you too!"
Rei: "What is a 'double-entendre'?"
Asuka: "You... what? You really... Are you screwing with me, First?"
Rei: "I am not screwing with you, Pilot Soryu."
Asuka: "A double entendre is when you say something superficially ordinary with deliberate sexual double meaning. When you started telling Tanaka about 'Ikari-kun was the first one in Soryu's Entry Plug', she's going to think you're making a joke about us having sex! And 'he burst into my core' and 'I would like to do it again' makes it sound like baka-Shinji's doing you too!"
—Asuka explains the concept to Rei shortly after, Advice and Trust, chapter 4
Asuka: "You're making it really hard for me to get in the mood!"
Shinji: "You're making it HARD ON me!"
Asuka: "Double entendre? Kinda advanced for you..."
Shinji: "You're making it HARD ON me!"
Asuka: "Double entendre? Kinda advanced for you..."
—Evangelion 303, chapter 17
"Bawdy 1970s Hospital" Administrator: What on earth is wrong with you, Dr. Asquith? This is supposed to be a bawdy 1970s hospital. Please stick to using innuendo.
Dr Asquith: I'm sorry sir, but to be honest, I've never really understood the difference between double entendres and the stuff I say.
"Bawdy 1970s Hospital" Administrator: Let me try to explain. [Picks up a fishing rod] If I say, "Would you like to grasp my rod?" That's innuendo. "Would you like to wank off my cock?" That's not.
Dr Asquith: I'm sorry sir, but to be honest, I've never really understood the difference between double entendres and the stuff I say.
"Bawdy 1970s Hospital" Administrator: Let me try to explain. [Picks up a fishing rod] If I say, "Would you like to grasp my rod?" That's innuendo. "Would you like to wank off my cock?" That's not.
— That Mitchell and Webb Look explains this trope.
Kara Zor-El: I'm looking through it. It's amazing. All the equipment I'm seeing. So many sizes and shapes...
Linda Danvers: All the ...? Kara! Just where are you looking?!
Kara: The equipment room, where they keep all the sporting stuff, why?
Linda: Oh, I thought you were peeping in at the guy's lock— Forget it. My own dirty mind.
Linda Danvers: All the ...? Kara! Just where are you looking?!
Kara: The equipment room, where they keep all the sporting stuff, why?
Linda: Oh, I thought you were peeping in at the guy's lock— Forget it. My own dirty mind.
Denise: Cindy if, uh, you don't go back to bed... Santa won't come.
Tommy: He's not the only one.
Tommy: He's not the only one.
"Your eyes, your smile
Made my little life worthwhile
The sky was a lot more blue
When I was on top of you!"
Made my little life worthwhile
The sky was a lot more blue
When I was on top of you!"
—Alferd Packer to his horse Liane, Cannibal! The Musical
"She's just upset because the fish on her plate is the only kind she can eat."
—Andre, But I'm a Cheerleader
"By the way, what's with you and Max? Are you guys having sex? Because if not, I wouldn't mind bench pressing her with my dumbbell."
—Kurt, The Final Girls
Afroditey: Ooh, Black Dynamite, you came to see me!
Black Dynamite: Bitch, nah, I need to rap a piece with my man 'Horn. Tell you what, maybe when I'm done I'll throw you a piece right quick.
Afroditey: Out of sight! I get off in fifteen minutes.
Black Dynamite: You right about that, girl. You right about that.
Black Dynamite: Bitch, nah, I need to rap a piece with my man 'Horn. Tell you what, maybe when I'm done I'll throw you a piece right quick.
Afroditey: Out of sight! I get off in fifteen minutes.
Black Dynamite: You right about that, girl. You right about that.
"I had a date the other night. Poor fella. I turned all of the lights off and I whispered to him, 'Whatever you do, honey, don't look at me. One glance and you're hard as a rock.' Needless to say, the poor guy peeked. Now you see why I have this thing for phone freaks."
—Medusa, TerrorVision
Gail Hailstorm: Is that drool?
Doofy Gilmore: Yeah, I forgot to swallow.
Gail: Don't worry, because I never forget.
Doofy Gilmore: Yeah, I forgot to swallow.
Gail: Don't worry, because I never forget.
Claire Miller: You sure you can fly this thing with one hand?
Rick: Honey, you'd be surprised at what a man can do with one hand.
Rick: Honey, you'd be surprised at what a man can do with one hand.
Lady Psyche Callista: Did I come on to strong?
Lord Helio: No... It was okay.
Psyche: I'm relieved it was to your satisfaction.
Lord Helio: No... It was okay.
Psyche: I'm relieved it was to your satisfaction.
—Your Throne, episode 20. (ironically, Psyche worries about the choice of words and tone she used while telling off a servant who discovered her faking to make out with Helio...)
Suzanne: Do you guys have sour balls?
Convenience Store Clerk: Why, sure we do.
Suzanne: Too bad. I bet you don't get many blowjobs.
Convenience Store Clerk: Why, sure we do.
Suzanne: Too bad. I bet you don't get many blowjobs.
Dana Barrett: That's the bedroom, but nothing ever happened in there.
Dr. Peter Venkman: What a crime.
Dr. Peter Venkman: What a crime.
Kevin: I'm not really into headbanging.
Lady Sylvia Marsh: Are you into any kind of banging?
Lady Sylvia Marsh: Are you into any kind of banging?
Beattie: Well... we know Joey's a he-bird, don't we.
Sid: "Cock".
Beattie: He is! The man in the shop said so!
Mr. Farquhar: Right, well, should we get them out now?
Miss Plunkett: Why, Mr. Farquhar!
Mr. Farquhar: The people for the coach, I mean!
Mayor Bumble: Ah, I-I do feel, that you know that, Councillor Fiddler does have a point... there you know, considering our very high seasonal rainfall figure.
Mrs. Prodworthy: Oh, really, Mr. Mayor? Personally, I think it is quite an average one.
Sid: If you think nine inches is an average one, you've been spoilt.
Sergeant Major Bloomer: I bet none of you can tell the difference between a couple of Heinkels and a pair of Bristols.
Sergeant Able: No, but I can recognise a Fokker when I see one.
Kenneth Williams: I had a big stick once. It was so enormous, I had to hide it down me trousers.
Matron: Mr. Unwin: I have been in Nursing for thirty years. There isn't an innuendo of that kind which I don't fully understand. You can't slip one past me.
Mr. Unwin: Then I'd better stop tossing them off.
Matron: If you please.
Mr. Unwin: I expect I only do it because I'm feeling a bit dicky.
Matron: Quite.
Mr. Unwin: But I'll pull out in time. I don't want to go down in your estimation.
Matron: You see? All you have to do is take him firmly in hand. In no time, he isn't so cocky.
Dr. Hare: I dreamt about you last night.
Sally: Did you?
Dr. Hare: No, you wouldn't let me.
Arthur: Anyway, at my job, I 'ardly get any overtime. I only do it about once a year.
Olive: You only ever do anything about once a year.
Voluptua: Put my 'air up, Flavia. It gets in my way when I'm riding.
Flavia: Oh, I'm sorry, milady. I didn't know you were going out tonight.
Voluptua: Who said anything about going out?
Groping: I'll teach you to interfere with me private life!
Lurk: Oh, Mister, your life is no concern of mine, especially your private parts.
Boris, who was getting off at the bus stop with Blossom by his side (and yes, the author is aware of how dirty that line sounds out of context), had a voicemail from an unknown number in his inbox.
— Kedabory's Elmore Chronicles, "The Voicemails", "November 15th"
