Funny / Critical Role Elements Of Chaos

Critical Role's funny moments
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Critical Role One-Shots

As a Moments subpage, all spoilers are unmarked as per policy. You Have Been Warned.

Episode 65: A Path of Vengeance

• Once again, Sam's gas can takes focus away from a scene. This time it's a picture of FCG with a cigarette sticking out of his mouth, captioned "Smoking is Cool." The cast are equal parts amused and disgusted, prompting Sam to make an addition: "For robots, not for kids."
  • Laura in particular seems especially annoyed by Sam's gas can as him writing the addendum is distracting Marisha from focusing on their scene checking up on Zhudanna. Given what happens immediately after makes her annoyance Hilarious in Hindsight.
• Ashton and F.C.G. go to visit Milo, who has gotten even more hyperactive and scatterbrained since the last time they met. Most of their inventions have been disassembled since the arcane elements inside have been on the fritz, and when they offer to make coffee for Ashton they discover that they'd already made a pot of coffee earlier and forgot about it, meaning it has since gone cold.
  Ashton: Were your meds arcane again? I can't remember.
  • Ashton then hands Milo a note, along with their hammer, and tells them they might be going out to save the world.
    F.C.G.: Don't you need a weapon for that...?
    Ashton: Nah. [...] All you need is love.
    F.C.G.: What?! What does that mean?!
    Ashton: That's me fucking with you.
• Marisha was utterly floored by the Big Damn Kiss moment, leading her to practically fall out of her chair, much to the amusement of the others.
  • Liam throws his 2¢ into it:
    Liam: Three for three, Marisha.
    Marisha: I was making a DEAD PERSON who wasn't romanceable!
  • Directly after this Sam (who was dressed in a tiger costume for the entire episode) clutched the front of said costume in a way that made it look like he was holding something else. He genuinely didn't know what it looked like until the reaction made him look down, whereupon the table burst into laughter. Especially Liam.
    Liam: (through laughter) Stop it stop it stop!
• Imogen and Laudna are workshopping Laudna's level 10 appearance, and the whole thing starts mutating into a shopping episode, which might explain why Travis had to walk off for a moment. Which becomes the perfect setup for this:
  Laudna: Chetney!... I'm turning your dollhouse into a backpack!
  Travis: (walking back in) FUCK!! (walks out again)
• In what has thus far been a very calm episode of character building and information gathering, Chetney is suddenly ambushed and caught in a silver net by a hooded figure, before Matt calls the break. Everyone is caught completely off guard.
  Liam: What the hell, we're just going information gathering! What is going on?!
  Taliesin: Best shopping episode EVER!
• As Matt is removing some of the house parts from the map to improve visibility, Sam jokes that there's people fucking in one of the rooms. Taliesin then immediately tells the group that he really wants to one day do a "house run" sequence, with the group charging through a bunch of people's homes, all of which contain minis clearly doing weird shit.
  Liam: Is that a dead woman and a horse girl?!
  Taliesin: (as Ashton) No kinkshaming, buddy!
• Midway through the battle, the bounty hunter says "Tuyen sends her regards." The group is confused, not sure who Tuyen is. About a minute later, Travis collapses into wheezing laughter as he realizes Tuyen is the shopkeeper of the Prism Emporium, who Chetney threatened and maimed after being overcharged a few dozen episodes ago.
• While the group discusses their complicated feelings towards the gods, Chetney pipes up that in over 400 years of living he's never been given a sign or felt a strong connection to the divine. Orym incredulously points out that the two of them and Fearne were at a temple of the Raven Queen getting a divine vision less than an hour ago.

Episode 66: Aid of the Tempest

• Matt did it again. Keyleth said that they found a flower that can help counter the effects of Otohan's poison. It is called the Blue Perennem. He pronounced it "Blue Perineum," much to the cast's delight.
• When the Hells met Alma (Orym's mom), Chetney immediately started carving for her. Imogen mentally joked to Orym that Chetney was interested in his mom. Orym somehow combined a pained smile with a Thousand-Yard Stare.
• The Hells of course ask Alma for embarrassing childhood stories and pictures of their friend. She doesn't have any pictures, but she has kept Orym's baby shoes. The table immediately dissolves into Cuteness Proximity when they realize just how small halfling babies would be.
  Ashley: Ohhh my goodness, a little potato...
  Laura: The size of a kitten!
  Taliesin: These [shoes] will fit a blueberry!
  Liam: As a toddler climbing trees, I must've been like a marmoset.
• It turns out that Chetney created some of Orym's childhood toys, leading to this exchange between Orym and Chetney.
  Orym: Did you create my childhood, Chetney? Did you create Optimus Prime?
  Chetney: I killed him, too!
• This combined with his chemistry with Orym's mom leads the cast to wonder if Chetney could be Orym's father, and start rolling perception to see if their bone structures look similar. Even Orym himself seems convinced this could be true.
• It's canon: Whitestone is for lovers; Zephrah is for fuckers. And Orym's mom (a midwife) is a reeeeeally busy woman.
• After Marisha lovingly descibes the grotesque way in which Laudna's Hound of Ill Omen bursts forth from her skeletal ribcage, Matt points to an open-mouth Laura and says "That's your girlfriend."
  • As soon as the hound appears, it and Chetney begin to yowl back and forth like huskies.
• We see the inside of Keyleth's private residence. It's beautiful, and prominently hung with countless tapestries of breathtaking beauty...lovingly and skillfully depicting some of the most traumatizing moments of her life. On its own that might be concerning...but in the Four-Sided Dive that discusses this episode, a laughing Matt reveals that the reason she has so many is that almost all of them were gifts. She was too awkwardly kind to refuse them and too polite not to display them once they were in her possession. And now there's a giant tapestry of Vecna in her bedroom.

Episode 67: Bloody Flowers

• The cast spend much of the episode coming up with names and stupid puns that make fun of Matt's mispronunciation of the Blue Perennem flower last episode; the Taint Flowers, the Pussy Willows, the Gooch Poppies, etc. With every pun they make, Matt smirks and makes a note behind the DM screen, which turned out to be him adding temporary hit points to the boss the Hells would have to battle later. It came up to roughly twenty-five temp hit points.
  Travis: Don't do it, Matthew! [...] Ignore the blood lust! He's just marking shit off, just saying.
• F.C.G. decides to take a straw poll on who is for and who is against the gods among Bell's Hells. Everyone is undecided, except for Ashton, who abstains from the vote.
  F.C.G.: You're abstaining from being undecided?!
  Ashton: Yeah.
  F.C.G.: Wow. You really are a punk.
• Orym apologises sincerely to Fearne for stealing a spyglass in her possession in an earlier episode and giving it to Xandis, then offers to act as a replacement of sorts while on the lookout for some blue flowers and asks for a little help. To show there are no hard feelings, Fearne agrees and offers to cast Guidance on Orym — she does nothing.
  • Amusingly enough, Liam rolls so high on his perception check that it literally would have made zero difference if Fearne actually had cast Guidance on Orym!
• Sam's flask has a big sign that reads "TRAVIS I'M PREGNANT", referencing Kourtney Kardashian's pregnancy announcement. Laura immediately gets annoyed at him and tells him to take the sign down before anyone thinks she's pregnant, so Sam replaces the sign with a different one that says "TRAVIS IT'S A MEME" and then "INTERNET: NO ONE IS PREGNANT".
• Orym successfully disarms the boss of the encounter, a Nalfeshnee, which drops its greatsword (described by Matt as beautifully made, with a cruciform hilt inlaid with rubies). A few rounds later, Chetney runs by and picks it up... and it whispers to him, meaning Travis is now in possession of Graz'tchar, the Decadent End, his fourth Evil Weapon in a Critical Role campaign.
  Travis: YES!! I AM WHOLE!!!
  Taliesin: Why you?! Every fucking time.
• During the battle with the demons, Imogen is in some pretty dire straits health-wise, leading a panicking Marisha to yell at Sam for him to "heal [her] girlfriend!" while unintentionally still in character. Thing is, the rest of the Hells are unaware of Laudna's new relationship with Imogen, leading to this brief exchange:
  Marisha: (while still in character) Heal my girlfriend!
  FCG: I've got no fucking— (Beat) What? What was that?
  Marisha: (realising her mistake, but still in character) (Beat) This is Marisha!
  FCG: What?! Did you hear that, guys?!
• The group is aided in the fight by a devil named Teven Klaask, who's later revealed to be a champion of Asmodeus. Although circumstances make him the party's ally, he's not particularly friendly:
  Chetney: (after killing a minion) Now the big one!
  Teven: Don't give me orders.
  Chetney: (cowed) It was a request...
• Sam makes a genius move when he has Tongues in effect and uses Command, which means that any damn creature from wherever can be affected. And Matt makes two shit wisdom saving rolls for both the demons being affected. Then it becomes funny again when FCG's Command is to "Mime", and the demons are stuck in a box, and pulling an invisible rope and so on.
• Klaask takes quite an interest in Fearne, who is immediately flustered by the attention and makes a somewhat-ambiguous pact with him. The cast immediately jokes about her infernal booty call.
  Taliesin/Ashton: A great flaming Duke of Hell is one day gonna wake you with a giant voice that's just gonna say "YOU UP?"

Episode 68: For the Tempest

• Ashton opens the hole in the temporary shelter Bearnie created for everyone, which requires all the occupants to stand up and hug the wall. Laura rolls a die, then immediately declares that Imogen falls in.
• As FCG is asking Graz'tchar if he was always a sword, Ashley's phone rings. It happens to play a Sexophone tune, causing the whole table to crack up in laughter. Doubly funny if you remember in episode 1 they had to specify that they don't endorse knife fucking.
  Marisha: Romance the sword! Romance the sword!
  Taliesin: (shouting over Marisha) Don't romance the sword! No!
  F.C.G.: I mean, you're metal and I'm metal.
  Graz'tchar: I mean, if you're asking...
• Despite concluding that the sword is definitely evil, Ashton hands it over to Chetney... on one condition.
  Ashton: If you get even the least bit weird, I'll crush your hand.
  Chetney: ...define weird.
  Ashton: No.
  Chetney: Okay!
• Chetney's interactions with Graz'tchar are just as funny as Grog and Craven Edge:
  Chetney: Do you know anything about the Matrón of Ravéns?
  Graz'tchar: ...I'm sorry, I'm not entirely certain how you managed to mispronounce something in your mind.
  • Chetney also renames the sword "Sir Chad".
    Marisha: Sir Chad? He's wearing a fedora.
    Sam: He's not tipping.
• The Hells decide to cheat the creature limit of the Teleport spell by storing Chetney, Fearne, F.C.G. and Laudna in the hole. Naturally, Chetney immediately starts talking about having sex in the hole, since they could all suffocate in a few minutes. F.C.G. offers to help by "soaking"^*A sexual technique were two people lay still with one inside the other while a third person jumps up and down on the bed. them to conserve energy. Laudna wants no part in this.
  Laudna: (reaching her arms up towards Ashton) Let me out before I see Chetney's ballsack! Please!
  • As Ashton opens the hole, Matt trolls the group.
    Matt: So when you open the hole... They're fine, everything's fine.
    Travis: Oh god, every time!
    Taliesin: There's just one six-armed thing like (horrible groaning sound).
• At one point, FCG chooses to contact the Changebringer in order to ask where the Bell's Hells could go to get the device they found in the Savalirwood repaired. The Changebringer's response cryptically tells him to go to the person he is most connected to, leaving the Bell's Hells to wonder if she means Dancer or D. FCG tries again, adding on a request that she not respond by saying "the one who's name starts with a D" only for her to cryptically respond that she means the one who gave him life. Irritated, FCG contacts her a third time, making note that he has wasted five 5th level spells on this and scrying on D and Dancer, before demanding to know if it is Dancer in the form of a yes or no question. The Changebringer's response?
  Changebringer: The road you seek... will you guide you to the one... who's name begins with a D.
  • As Matt begins to describe a gentle wind blowing past F.C.G.'s ears, he immediately realizes that F.C.G. doesn't have ears and corrects it to "audio sensor". F.C.G. then clarifies that his audio sensor is in his perineum. The pained smile on Matt's face is something to behold.
• After this whole sequence, Orym assures Keyleth that the Hells are definitely competent.
  Keyleth: Hey, I'm not judging! I've walked around with a bunch of slap-dicks for a big part of my early life. (whisper) I'll tell you a story about a goldfish one day.
  Marisha:...really?

Episode 69: Nice

• Look at the episode title. LOOK AT IT.
• In a Mood whiplash to the scene beforehand, Chetney, Launda and Imogen head to the skysails to have some fun. It turns into an actual dogfight air show with everyone having the time of their lives.
  Orym: (beat) That went as well as I thought it would.
  • Laudna at one point covers her instructor Ulli's face with bees. Once they land safely, he begs the group to never come near him ever again.
    • She phrases this as "I put bees in his face". She means that she's casting Infestation, but the phrasing of it is a little unclear.
      Sam: Is that a spell or do you just have bees?
      Taliesin: You were saving them for later.
      Matt: (laughing) Into an inventory.
      Liam: "I have seven silver of bees!"
  • Laudna and Chetney then fly back over Zephrah as they try their best to land safely, leaving a trail of blood (from the Butcher's Bib) and angry bees in their wake. Laudna lands it pretty cleanly, though her instructor is still covered in bees and bee stings. Chetney loses control of his glider and gets slammed into the side of a warehouse.
  • Matt describes Chetney being stuck like Winnie the Pooh and he apparently landed ass first into a chicken coop. Said chickens start pecking at his ass while Ashton stands off to the side laughing and not helping.
    Laura/Imogen: Oh, you're here?
    Ashton: There's a trail! I've been following a fucking red line, it has NOT been hard!
    • As Chetney is being pulled free from the chicken coop, Ashton shouts "What the cluck is wrong?" before cackling and doubling over.
• The totally not cursed sword Chetney retrieved in the previous episodes starts sowing seeds of doubt in Chetney's mind, telling him to not trust Keyleth and to kill her. The group note Chetney's odd behaviour, with Orym noting he looked like he was going to have a stroke. Travis throughout the rest of the episode jokes about Chetney jumping at every opportunity to off Keyleth, completely unprompted. What's almost funnier is how not once does anyone insight check him.
• Because F.C.G. is the only one of the Hells that can't drink, they wind up having to babysit their very drunk friends. They are not enjoying themselves.
• Sam roll's for the groups teleportation. He thinks he rolled a 100, but it turns out to be 001.
  FCG: (groaning in pain) Why does this keep happening to us every time we do this?
• While walking through Yios, the group makes small talk with Keyleth by asking her if she's ever been to a casino. As soon as she answers in the affirmative, Taliesin and Travis immediately Insight check her.
  Marisha: Leave my previous character aloneee!
• Keyleth takes the form of a mouse as the group try to create a plan, and Laudna sees this as the perfect time to introduce Pâté. Laudna asks Keyleth "to not be a mouse" and Pâté mistakes it as a request for him. Marisha laughs as she has to clarify this to Matt.
  Pâté: Oh, alright. (beat) I did it!
  • Matt jokes that the sword tells Chetney to "finish it" since Keyleth was in a form of a mouse and Travis lunges at Keyleth.
• As Dancer agrees to come out of hostel room to greet Imogen, she apparently tripped and fell on her way over.
• The group go to meet Dancer and at her door is a bird-like metal creature, which FCG immediately does not like. Imogen politely asks what the birds name was, which leads the entire table to nearly burst out laughing.
  Dancer: Pussy the II.
  • Laura later comments, to similar hilarity:
    Laura: The second coming.
  • Dancer immediately having an Oh, Crap! moment the second she sees FCG again.
• Keyleth unshifts and the group assure Dancer she's just a normal regular human. FCG calls Keyleth "Kim" and she ends up adding on "Kimothee".
  Laura: Kimothee Chalamet.
• FCG asks if Dancer was going to bring her Pussy with her. She responds she brings it everywhere with her.
  Laura: Usually do.
  • Laudna holds up Pâté to see Pussy II. The metal bird shoots a laser into Pâté's skull. Dancer asks Pussy to knock it off.
  Laudna: Pâté got burnt by some Pussy!
  Pâté: (chuckling) If I had a nickel!
• Shithead appears once again, and drops a huge load of crap across FCG's face. Matt later describes the remaining dung looking like the Phantom's mask.
  • In a panic on figuring out how to get rid of Shithead, FCG attempts to eat the bird so it would die in his stomach via the acids. He also tries to see if he could bake Shithead.
  • When Fearne shoots Shithead down, Chetney jumps upon the corpse and starts tearing at it with his teeth. Except this is in his normal Chetney form, and not his werewolf form. Chetney remarks he forgot to shift.
  • Ashton suggests that they just throw Shithead into the hole.
  • Fearne uses Speak with Animals to ask why Shithead is targeting F.C.G., and once again Shithead replies that he just doesn't like the way F.C.G. looks. No other reason.
    Taliesin/Ashton: I know I'm saying this to a bird, but it has to touch grass. Really should touch grass.
  • When FCG uses Destroy Undead, Laudna has to make a saving throw as well or be turned.

Episode 70: Embattled in Bassuras

• As soon as the group arrives in Bassuras, Laudna checks the "Treshi scry ball" to see if Otohan is nearby. The ball is dark. Travis immediately tries to make an Insight check on Matt.
  Matt: Go ahead and roll.
  Travis: (rolls) Eight!
  Matt: You're dead.
• During the battle at Imahara Joe's, Chetney discovers that Graz'tchar has the power to charm whoever he strikes with the blade. Matt clarifies that it's charmed, not dominated, but Chetney doesn't seem to get it.
  Chetney/Travis: I own them...
  Ashton/Taliesin: You're leasing them, come on.
• F.C.G. tells Dancer to get back, and use her Pussy for protection if she has to.
  Marisha: Hashtag feminism.
  Sam: (crosses his arms) Ally.
• Orym tries to hop onto a crawler and revs it up... only for it to sputter out a cloud of black smoke and fall still.
  Matt: This is a repair yard.
  • Orym then hops onto a second bike, lassoes one of the enemies to it, then attacks it, rolling a natural 20. Liam lampshades the ridiculousness of it by emphasizing that Orym is using a Tripping Attack on a bike.
    Marisha: Can you also steal the bike's lunch money?
    Liam: If Matt will let me, I will!
• Ashton and Imogen begin to realize just how bizarre their situation has gotten.
  Imogen: Let's go... plant an egg on a moon.
  Ashton: A big... slimy... skeletal... gross... smokable... brain tree.
  Imogen: What the fuck.
• Ashton and Imogen snuck out without saying anything to visit All-Minds-Burn. Laudna, of course, concludes that the most logical reason for their disappearance is that Ashton had a mental break and kidnapped Imogen, and would not calm down until the two of them returned.
  • Chetney decides to call on Pâté to talk some sense into her, but Pâté sheepishly tells him he only takes orders from Laudna.
    Laudna: (holding Pâté in one hand) You don't trust them either! Ashton, the big rock person!
    Pâté: I dunno, I think he's actually pretty nice.
    Laudna: SHUT UP! (flings Pâté over her shoulder)
  • Once Ashton and Imogen return, Laudna flings herself sobbing into Imogen's arms while F.C.G. explains the situation. Ashton just shrugs and says that that was a very reasonable concern and that that absolutely could have happened, while Imogen launches into an explanation of the giant mucus-brain they just saw that makes her sound like she got into some very illicit substances.
• The episode ends with out heroes getting a new quest, to travel all the way to the Shattered Teeth to find someone known as the Shore Shrew... which has the guys tripping over their own tongues just pronouncing it. Then they decide to call her Shady Sally, which would make her Shady Sally the Shore Shrew of the Shatttered Teeth.

Episode 71: Mist and Whimsy

• In a truly bizarre sequence of events, the Hells end up asking a bunch of frog-fairy things to (literally) shit on them.
  Ashton: Sometimes I think I should've let that bedroom set kill you all.
  • Travis and Laura's faces when they're the first to see it coming (likely due to experience with their son Ronin):
    Travis: He shit in your hand! He shit in your hand! HE SHIT! IN YOUR HAND!!
    Sam: Why do things keep shitting on me?!
  • Fridge Funny kicks in when you realise that, if you've watched Rambo or Predator, it might not have been necessary.^note Stallone and Arnold famously avoid detection by covering themselves in mud.
• When the battle against a giant toad-monster begins, the crew remarks that there isn't a toad mini on the battle map. Matt tells them that he ordered a toad Halloween decoration online, but it was supposed to be delivered that morning and wasn't. Marisha then tells him that they already have a big toad figure in their box of Halloween decorations at home.
  Travis: Don't tell him that now! That doesn't help anything!
  • Matt then decides to use Laura's Beaurebar mug as the mini. In the cinematic close-up shot of the map, the mug is seen at first before it morphs into one of Matt's two toad figures.
• In a moment that is otherwise a mixture of Heartwarming and Tearjerker, when FCG admits that he might actually need help, Taliesin throws his head back and arms up, and is very clearly mentally screaming "THANK FUCKING GOD!"
• Laudna trying to talk Pâté into being quiet, with Matt delivering Pâté's lines with the goofiest grin:
  Laudna: (whispering) Okay, but you have to be very quiet.
  Pâté: (whispering poorly) This is as low as I go. You didn't make me to be quiet.
  Laudna: I didn't, did I? It's not your fault.
  Pâté: It's not my fault.
  Laudna: It's not your fault.
  Pâté: It's not my fault!
  Laudna: Be proud of who you are.
  Pâté: Oh I am.

Episode 72: Phantasmal Parley

• The group tries to figure out what their magical compass is pointing at.
  F.C.G.: Can you move the dial to select a different direction?
  Imogen: ...wait, what? Do you know how compasses work?
  F.C.G.: Nope!
  • Chetney then tries to triangulate what the compass is indicating using the map. Ashton fucks with him by suggesting he might have the map upside down.
    Chetney: ...What if you do this, (flips the map upside down) and do this, (turns the map backwards)? Then this appears! (flips Ashton off)
• While interrogating Ratanish, Laura starts to freak out over what she's supposed to ask, which she phrases as going "full Jester". As soon as she slips back into character, Travis makes a fart noise... which somehow manages to break everyone except Laura.
• F.C.G. casts Turn Undead to get the undead pirates to leave... which works a little too well, because Turn Undead affects Laudna too. Ashton ends up having to smack her in the back of the head to keep her from blindly sprinting into the ocean.
  • When Mister tries smacking Laudna to shake her out of it, Sam mimes taking a swing with a baseball bat, and slams his elbow into the edge of the table.
    Marisha: That's what you get, you cleric bitch!
• Orym boards the ship, and ends up in combat with one of the skeletons. They are not impressed.
  Skeleton: CAPTAIN! Looks like we've got boarded by a flea!
  Travis: He called you a flea!
  Liam: I call me a flea.
• As Laudna is thinking of ways to convince the captain to let them on the ship, Matt's impression of the ghost pirate starts looking increasingly silly.
  Laura: (laughing) You should have seen him today, peeking his head in the dressing room.
  Matt: You were putting on makeup, you weren't getting dressed! I just wanna specify that.
  (cast cracks up)
  Sam: "Aw, you should have seen him earlier when I was taking a shit!"
• Sam reveals his gas can is also a dice tower, to everyone's shock, during a fight with ghost pirates. He rolls a six.
• The first mate, Woeddors, introduces everyone until she gets to the last guy.
  Woedders: And this is the rest of the crew: Jamal, Odor, Peters, Bruda, Vendallo, the Whitts twins, Carmilla, Sanjay, and... Keith?
  Kyle: (in a whiney voice) I've been with you for a hundred years! ITS KYLE!
• Laudna and the Captain both start snarling at eachother as they're finishing the deal, each trying to be the more terrifying one. Laudna then turns to Chetney... who nearly has a heart attack and reverts from his wolf form out of sheer terror.
• After fighting them and parlaying their way onto the ship, the Hells ask if they have food. The captain predictably says no with a snarky response.
• Chetney offers to help the captain retrieve some objects that might be stuck on land. Ashton cuts him off mid-sentence.
  Ashton: You're not getting your sword back.
  Chetney: Fuckin'- Don't cut me off at the knees!
• The session ends with Rollies with the whole crew, and they realize it could be three in-game days of this.

Episode 73: Kindling the Spirits

• The fact it took nearly 15 minutes after the ad reads to get going because they couldn't control themselves from Sam's t-shirt and Gas can.
• Sam lost his d20, so Laura gives him one of hers... except it's from a set that hasn't released in the shop yet. Sam immediately shows it on camera, which was censored in post by a tiny picture of Sam's face obscuring the die. As soon as Laura yells at him, Sam mimes eating it.
• Fearne and F.C.G. try to "simul-scry" on Beau and Caleb. Both roll, Sam rolling a natural 20, Ashley rolling... less well. Matt watches them do this until Sam asks what they have to add to the roll, at which point he casually tells them that they don't roll for scrying, the person being scried on does.
  Travis: EIGHT! YEARS! EIGHT YEARS!
  Taliesin: I enjoyed the walk, I thought the walk was nice.
  Liam: (laughing) You just let us hang ourselves!
  Matt: (brightly) Yeah!
• The gang all decides to get tattoos.
  • Because the crew are all skeletons, the tattoo artist doesn't actually have any ink to use on the flesh-and-blood members of the Hells. Chetney offers up some of his own supply, though Imogen points out that what Chetney has isn't ink, it's paint.
    Chetney: Yeah, what's the fuckin' difference?
    Taliesin: ...A tenth of our audience just gasped in pain.
  • Ashton decides to get a large back tattoo from Vendallo, since an artist that carves their tattoos into bone is probably the only one who could actually tattoo a body made of solid rock. Vendallo agrees... but only if Ashton agrees to not muffle their screams of pain, which he seems just a little too excited about.
    • On top of this, Ashton convinces Vendallo to let them pay him in exposure, since nobody outside the pirate ship would ever see his work otherwise. The Twitch chat and the comments section are appropriately appalled.
• Fearne successfully seduces the ghost pirate captain.
  • Cyrillia, a female fire genasi skeleton, is immediately on the case with an ominous warning to Fearne, but the players immediately notice how she's behaving no different from a Clingy Jealous Girl.
  • The action (heh) gets briefly derailed when Fearne asks him to let her hold Grazzt'char one last time... and the talking sword is clearly making the exact same pitch to her.
  • The captain asks her to gift him some of her warmth. She ends up with a bone-chilling sensation that causes her to permanently lose 5 points off her max HP.
  • The morning after leads to a literally fiery confrontation with Cyrillia.
    Fearne: I swear, he only talked about you.
  • And the captain is hoping for some more of that, except Fearne has been made wary due to the bone-chill, and turns him down.
    Liam: Sometimes it be like that.
  • All this builds up to a worthy climax when Fearne (and Imogen thanks to telepathy) convince Cyrillia, who's fire genasi and has more than enough warmth to give, to go up to the captain and take that plunge herself. She walks up to him, shoves him through his own door, and closes it.
  • After the break, Chetney rushes up to the door to see if he can see steam coming out from under it... along with literally everyone else on the ship.
    Chetney: What do you think?! I got 5 dollars! I got 5, anybody got 10? 10 for that action? Two for one, two for one odds!
    Ashton: Both of you get the fuck out of my way!
  • Laudna offers to send Pate around to one of the portholes to spy on the two of them... doing their thing. Sam suddenly remembers that this is the second time they've used a familiar to spy on someone having sex on a pirate ship^note Caleb used Frumpkin to spy on Fjord and Avantika in Campaign 2.
• While Fearne should have suffered an additional bad effect that Matt was going to whisper to her during the break, the players are more concerned about how things went with the captain and Cyrillia.
  Liam: The captain's getting peg-legged right now.
  (whole table melts down, Matt outright collapses)
  • Matt describes their exit from the room as well. Cyrillia's fire has cooled off, and she walks up to the deck with a brand new confidence. The captain exits as well, his own flames burning brighter, and walks up to the deck with new confidence... and a limp.
    Liam: I was right.
• Crosses over with Heartwarming: One of the skeletons, Kyle, is a recovered alcoholic. During a party the Hells throw for the crew, they set out some snacks and drinks, inviting the skeletal crew to take a whiff and "remember the good times." Kyle passes on the drinks, the Hells invite him to smell the brownies, and then a beat passes as they suddenly remember they put drugs in the brownies, and fall over themselves to stop Kyle.
• Before the Hells leave, the Captain threatens them one last time.
  Captain: If any of you tells a single soul that you've danced with the crew of the Crimson Abyss... Your bloodlines will be on my list as well. There was no dancin'. There was no laughter. There. Was. No. LIMBO! You were scared the entire time. The threats will haunt you 'till the end of your days! And if anybody crosses our path... They won't be as lucky. Right?
  (Bell's Hells mumble in agreement)
  Orym: That's a tale too tall to tell.
  Ashton: I can honestly say I screamed for over a day.
  Captain: Great, alright, fantastic! Thank you all so much for coming, this has been an unexpected, memorable experience!
• While setting up for the fight, Matt realizes he has misplaced some of the player minis, and has to supplement them. Laudna is replaced with a wraith, Chetney with a wolf, and Orym with Sprinkle.
  Liam: Haha! Kill me!
  Travis: (as Sprinkle) Why am I back? This can't be real! A fresh new hell...
• After the worm fight, Imogen asks to see Pate so she can strangle him for not spotting it.
  Imogen: You've gotta keep your eyes open, buddy.
  Pate: I don't have eyes...
  • Imogen looks like she feels bad for Pate for just a moment... Then shakes him violently and throws him back to Laudna.
  • Meanwhile, in the background, Ashton pokes the worm with their hammer to see if it's really dead. It immediately starts twitching, which startles Ashton so badly that they scream, swear loudly, and smash it with the hammer until it stops.
    Ashton: It was fucking moving!
    Chetney: I believe you.

Episode 74: Roots Between Worlds

• Sam's ad read mocks injury lawyers using Mortal Kombat terms. He used too-small fake teeth to complete the look.
• During their trek through the jungle, the Hells are harried by mosquitoes. Or rather, Orym, Chetney and Fearne are harried by mosquitoes. F.C.G. has no blood, Ashton's skin is too hard for them to poke through, Laudna's blood is not exactly drinkable, and Imogen uses a passive lightning cantrip to become a living bugzapper.
• Pate gets a bit existential.
  Laudna: Hey buddy, were you napping?
  Pate: I was just sort of, y'know, contemplating the meaning of my existence as a construct that's only really given purpose when it has to bring itself to bear to your command. So... Yeah, I'm napping.
  Laudna: Oh. But you have like, thoughts and free thinking! You don't just like, go idle when you're not being used, right?
  Pate: I don't know... What can I do for you?!
  Laudna: Well, I need you to... be tackle. [...] I need you to go in the river, and just like... splishy splashy.
  Pate: Oh I could do water fun times, yeah!
  • The reason Pate needed to be a fishing lure was because Ashton got nervous there might be something lurking under the river, something Taliesin describes as "city boy panic".
• FCG baked fish in his oven, and everyone commented that he needed to be cleaned out. When he makes a comment about his "lower regions" smelling like fish, everyone groans and facepalms as they realize they set Sam up for it. And for the first time, Matt had to leave the table because of the shenanigans.
• The Hells leap into the chasm between the mountains, with Imogen casting Fly on herself, Laudna casting Feather Fall on herself and the others, and Fearne transforming into a shoebill. Cue frantic googling of whether or not shoebills can actually fly (they can, Matt just wasn't sure).
  Matt: That would have been amazing, we would've had a second goldfish.
  Marisha: I just love the cadence of "Fly", "Feather Fall", "Shoebill".
• While the scene itself is very melancholy, there is something hilarious about the fact that the first thing Ashton does when confronted with an ancient, sentient tree is peer pressure it into smoking. Bonus points for the fact that Evontra'vir can't actually hold a pipe in his mouth, so Ashton ends up just holding the lit pipe in front of him and wafting the smoke towards him.
• Evontra'vir ends up having to send the Hells off in a hurry, and they all run through a portal in his mouth. They end up being abruptly shunted from a warm rainforest to a freezing cold mountain peak.
  Imogen: (shivering) Why did I choose a sheer dress?! Why?!

Episode 75: An Ancient Flame

• Fearne, having some trouble fitting into the narrow cave passages, decides to turn into a bat. A snow bat.
  Marisha: A burrowing snow bat.
  Sam: With a gun.
  Taliesin: Riding a monkey, with a gun.
• While climbing down the lava tube, F.C.G. gets stuck again. Imogen, from above, kicks him out of frustration... which sends him ping-ponging down the tunnel like a plinko machine, barreling straight into Orym, who hears this coming and just sighs in resignation before being bodied.
• Ashton tries to talk to the imp creatures (dubbed doompa-loompas), but Imogen yells at him to stop talking, because he sucks at it (Ashton has a -2 to Charisma). She then immediately realizes how mean that sounded.
  Imogen: Sorry Ashton, you're a wonderful person with so many good qualities!
  Ashton: Oh don't just fucking start. Just don't fucking start.
• After an awesome scene of Ashton and Fearne diving into a pool of lava and coming out, Ashton's skin glowing red hot, with the shard in hand, Matt clarifies that while Ashton threw off his jacket before diving in, his pants were fully incinerated. He describes the sight as "orange Dr. Manhattan".
  • Ashton asks Laudna to cast Mending on his pants, but Ludinus and co teleport in before she has the chance to. It can be logically assumed that Ashton's bits were hanging out during the entire fight that followed.
• Ludinus warps in with several goons, and starts gloating evilly at Bell's Hells. He's midway through his second sentence when Imogen splashes lava at him with Telekinesis like a kid splashing water in a pool, and Matt calls the break.
  Liam: (imitating Ludinus) Noo, I haven't finished my speech!
• While trying to save Fearne, Travis decides to let Chetney run full speed towards Ludinus, only to realize that he can't do two bonus actions in one turn, thus retconning it to just holding an action to attack someone approaching at melee range. FCG's turn then comes up and casts Spiritual Weapon, which does hit Ludinus (who maintains concentration on Fearne). Only for Sam to realize that he casted a bonus action and he didn't want to cast said bonus action as he wanted to save that to give Laudna an extra d6 for her Counterspell.
  Sam: "As a bonus action, you can impart a—" Fuck! We suck at this.
  Travis: You got us fucked up, Matt! You got us fucked up!
  Sam: We're in our head!
  Matt: I know. I love it.
• Right before Marisha rolls to Counterspell Ludinus' 9th level spell, Travis trash talks her in her ear.
  Travis: You won't roll it. You are going to fuck it up. You're going to let everyone die. If this comes out good, you'll dream about this forever.
• After Marisha successfully rolls the counterspell:
  Liam: Take that 9th-level spell and shove it up your ass!
• After that failed spell, Ludinus walks into the lava pit and melts into a pile of snow, revealing him to have been a simulacrum of the real deal. The Hells are not happy.
  Ashton: LEAVE A MESSAGE NEXT TIME YOU FUCK!
• Ashton is very eager to leave, but the others insist on poking around the room and looting bodies.
  F.C.G.: Should we say a little prayer for all the fallen doompa-loompas?
  Ashton: Yes, and it should start with a fucking Teleport spell. It's what they would have wanted!
  F.C.G.: Alright. Doompa-loompa, doompity doo. I wanna get away from you.

Episode 76: A Gathering of Heroes

• It's Halloween once again, and this time the cast is dressed up as the cast of The Lord of the Rings. Travis is Aragorn, Marisha is Legolas, Sam is Gimli, Ashley and Laura are Merry and Pippin, Liam is Frodo, and Taliesin is Samwise. Matt as Gandalf is barely visible behind the massive wig and fake beard.
  • Sam is tasked to name the characters everyone is dressed up as, because he has never watched The Lord of the Rings.
    Sam: Pippin...
    Travis: Longstocking.
    Sam: Longstocking?
    All: No.
  • After the intro, Matt tries to start the episode... and everyone immediately bursts out laughing.
    Matt: God dammit. Every Halloween!
    Liam: Now we have to spend four hours looking at eachother like this!
    Matt: Oh yeah.
    Taliesin: They're never cute episodes, you notice that? It's always an intense episode at the end of October.
• Imahara Joe is optimistic, saying that while he, Verna, Dancer and Percy all have different angles of approaching the same problem, they've worked things out and are close to a breakthrough. Matt then points out that Dancer and Percy are standing at opposite ends of the room, very pointedly not making eye contact with eachother.
• Once again, the party runs into Allura Vysoren, who has come to Whitestone to help the tinkerers finish the harness. Ashton is fascinated by her and proceeds to completely ignore anyone else in the room.
  Percy: Are you serious, or are you just trying to fuck around?
  Ashton: Adults are talking. Sorry. (turns back to Allura)
• The party tells Allura what happened during their battle with the Simulacrum of Ludinus:
  Laudna: He just face-planted into the lava, too. It was honestly quite a vibe.
  Allura: I'm going to be honest, I'm a little sad I don't have that memory. He's quite the—what would your wife say?
  Percival: The douche?
  Allura: Yes.
• To test the harness, Chetney puts it on, and Allura tells him to find a magical item to absorb the essence of. The Hells don't have anything on them that's both powerful enough to function and useless enough to be worth giving up, and ask the tinkerers if they have anything magical they'd be willing to donate. Everyone's heads immediately turn to Percy, who just sighs.
  • Percy ends up donating a set of enchanted, self-cleaning silverware he got as a present from another noble family. Apparently neither he nor Vex'ahlia were happy with the gift, and when the box is presented, he crumples up the note inside before handing it over.
• When asking how old Percy's kids are, he responds by saying they are "a plethora of ages". Of course, the cast immediately concludes that Percy doesn't know how old his kids are.
  Taliesin: That's what boarding school is for. Keep track of birthdays.
• Pate gets caught spying on Percy and Allura, and tries to save himself by claiming he was napping, then doing the Charleston. Laudna tries to have him do a backflip, but he fails miserably, trying to save face by doing the worm. It's worth noting that Pate is invisible through all of this, and while Allura can see it, Percy can only hear the clattering of bones.
  Percy: (deep sigh) What interesting lives we lead...
• The meeting is interrupted by loud Corpsing when Sam slowly sticks one of the doll hands out through his beard, which is as disturbing looking as it is hilarious.
• Once again, Fearne confuses everyone by calling Mister her kid. The other Hells don't realize that that's what she meant and immediately assume she's pregnant with Chetney's child.
  Sam: You have to roll a d100 to find out.
  Matt: We are not rolling for pregnancy.
• At the end of the meeting, Matt plays out five different characters all saying polite goodbyes to eachother in an Overly Long Gag that has the rest of the cast doubled over the table in minutes.
• Orym ends up talking with Gwendolyn de Rolo who, despite being very young, already has the attitude of a noble.
  Gwendolyn: I'm taller than you.
  Orym: You are taller than me. A lot of people are taller than me.
  Gwendolyn: That means you have to do what I say.
  Orym: ...You are a de Rolo. Okay. Do you want to tell me to introduce you to my friends?
  Gwendolyn: No. I command you to introduce me to your friends.
  • Taliesin has thus far done a pretty good job of keeping himself seperate from Percy, but is visibly melting over his "graphpaper daughter" during this entire scene.
    Taliesin: I'm so proud...
• Ashton decides to open up one of the sarcophogi in the Matron's temple, and finds that it's empty. Being Ashton, he takes the opportunity to fuck with Chetney.
  Ashton: (gasp) Oh my god, it's you! Oh my god! You look 30 years younger in here, that's amazing!
  Chetney: Melodrama doesn't suit you, Ashton.
  Ashton: I know, but it's so much fun.
  • Before opening the sarcophogus, Ashton asks the keeper of the temple to let them know they do anything they're not supposed to. The keeper agrees, telling them that if they touch anything sacred, he'll hit them with a spoon. Ashton clearly thinks he's joking... until he pulls out a large, wooden ladle.

Episode 77: The Promise and the Price

• Laura's shoe makes an embarassing squeak against her chair.
  Travis: (With absolute glee) You farted, you farted on the internet! It's forever. Your son will see this.
• The Witches decide to go exploring Whitestone Castle in the middle of the night, just to see what they can find in the basement. Liam, who had joked about Percy playing with model trains in the previous episodes, gets very excited at the prospect of them finding Percy's model train track, and from the way Taliesin is nodding along, it may be on its way to becoming canon.
  Liam: Giant basement full of track.
  Matt: What do you think happened to the ziggurat?
• After Laudna fails to pick a lock, Imogen decides to peer through the keyhole, then summons a Reiloran inside the room so it can unlock the door for them.
  Marisha: "I have untold power granted by the moon. What do you need- oh, you want me to open the door?"
• Orym and Fearne share a touching moment, which ends with Ashley and Liam clasping hands as they both declare their (platonic) love for eachother. Laura, who is sitting between them, slowly puts her own hand in there.
  Fearne: ...You have so many hands. That's so strange.
  Orym: Yeah it's best not to question it. (Liam pushes Laura's head away)
• Chetney starts fantasizing about working with wood from the moon. Of course, because this is Critical Role, the rest of the cast immediately start turning it into a sexual innuendo by emphasizing how hard, turgid, knotty and veiny that wood must be.
  Laudna/Marisha: Sometimes I hear you get the best wood once you go across the Bloody Bridge.
  (groans of disgust, Matt sighs and takes a long drink from his cup)
  Taliesin: That's two! That's two in like a week! Wow!
  Travis: Drink up, Matt! That's all you!
  Matt: It's nowhere near alcoholic enough.
• Laudna gifts F.C.G. a wok she stole from the kitchen during her nighttime excursion. F.C.G. is very clearly trying to sound excited about it, but fails miserably.
  Taliesin: That was the look my dad gave my Christmas present in 1984.
• When snow starts falling in Whitestone, Chetney discovers that Ashton, who has lived in the desert and the tropics their entire life, doesn't know what sledding is. He immediately starts disassembling furniture to build a toboggan.
  • Orym, Chetney, Ashton and F.C.G. end up having a race; Ashton and F.C.G. in the wok, Orym and Chetney on the toboggan. Orym rolls a little too well and ends up launching himself over the exterior wall of Whitestone and into the street proper, coming to a stop just before slamming into a cart. When he and Chetney turn around, all they see is a pair of legs and a wheel sticking out of a snowdrift.
    F.C.G.: Well, maybe it cooks better than it sleds.
    Ashton: (excitedly) AGAIN!
  • Some of Whitestone's kids join in, and Orym shouts at them that they're never too old to have fun. Their reply is "Okay, old man!" Ashton gets very offended on Orym's behalf and starts packing a snowball full of rocks, sending all the kids scattering.
• During a very intense conversation between Ashton and Fearne in which Ashton lays out their plan for secretly absorbing the shard of Rau'shan, something that could very well kill them, they awkwardly tell Fearne that they think she's hot. After the plan has been made, Fearne blurts out that she thinks Ashton is hot too, and immediately runs away.
  Ashton: ...Still fucking got it.
• As Ashton sits on the bench near the clocktower, the clock strikes the hour, and a clockwork diorama of Vox Machina's fight against the Chroma Conclave begins to play out. Matt's narration very much takes Ashton's opinions into account.
  Matt: —and as they collide, you're like "Oh, it's this shit again", remembering the Taste of Tal'Dorei and how they've just completely squeezed this moment in time for all it's worth.
• Orym orders baked goods from the Slayers Cake for the meeting in the castle, and a whole apple pie for himself. Between their arrival in the war room and the start of the meeting he's managed to pack away half of the pie while Ashton stares at him, clearly wondering how all of that even fits into his tiny body.
  • When F.C.G. learns that Orym bought baked goods, he spitefully opens his oven door and pitches the things he was baking directly into the trash. The other Hells tell him not to... until they catch the way the pastries smell, and quietly tell F.C.G. he really needs to get rid of the fish smell first before baking anything.
• While the party is desperately trying to keep Ashton from being torn apart from the inside by the shard of Rau'shan, Taliesin has a bit of an Oh, Crap! moment.
  Taliesin: I love that you knew I was gonna do this.
  Matt: I didn't.
  Taliesin: ...really? God, you just put a big red button in front of me!
  Matt: Yeah, and a LOT of warnings!
  • Immediately after, F.C.G. decides to try Divine Intervention instead of healing Ashton for another round.
    Laura/Imogen: He's taking a gamble, Ashton! Some people do that too at this table!
    Taliesin/Ashton: Have you not realized that I'm a hypocrite?
  • "Taliesin, do not Molly yourself again."
• The others are... not happy with Ashton's stunt.
  Ashley: I'm gonna fucking kill him if he survives!
  Liam: I'm gonna fucking kill him if he dies!
  Sam: Either way, he dies!
  • Taliesin rolls the last constitution saving throw without looking and rolls a natural 16, surviving the ordeal, at which point he says "Never look if you wanna win." The rest of the cast is so furious that the closed captions simply read "(angry screaming)".
  • True to her word, as soon as Ashton sits up and thanks her, Fearne kicks him in the face.
    Fearne: I am NEVER listening to you again!
    Ashton: That's probably a really good idea... (passes out)
• After the episode, Aabria started posting celebratory gifs on Twitter. Fans were quick to point out the irony of her character saving Ashton's life when she wasn't even there, especially since the presence of a guest character didn't end well for Taliesin's character last campaign.
  vandersprodigy18: On a scale of Ashly Burch to Aabria Iyengar where would you land with regards to the mortality of a Taliesin Jaffe PC

Episode 78: Fractures

• Liam is out sick for the episode, so Orym mostly hangs out in the background. The characters forgetting he's there becomes a Running Gag, to the point that Ashton nearly trips over him. Matt resorts to saying that Orym had just been doing crunches in the background to pass the time.
  • While discussing how broken up everyone is, F.C.G. points out that "this is the quietest Orym has ever been". Matt can only grit his teeth and flip Sam off.
  • As the group prepares to teleport to the Feywild, they only remember at the very last second that Orym should come too. Or, as Flando puts it, "They almost Home Alone'd Orym."
• Ashton wakes up feeling absolutely horrible, surrounded by his very angry friends.
  Imogen: You better say something profound, Ashton, to make it worth it.
  Ashton: ...I think I might've fucked up a lot...
• In a very bitter, meta way: after everything Ashton did at the end of the last episode, the shard of Rau'shan rejects him and he vomits it right back up. The look on the cast's faces sells it.
  • Matt's justification for permanently reducing Ashton's Constitution by 2:
    Matt: It seems to have begun to stir something within you. So there was a victory... and there was a cost. And you're still FUCKING ALIVE!
• As Fearne stomps away from the ziggurat, Percy starts to crack wise... then sees the look on her face and immediately shuts up.
• As Ashton, Imogen and F.C.G. are making their way down the ziggurat, Allura asks them if they're finished, and Imogen tells her they won't be leaving. Allura looks a bit confused.
  Ashton: I fucked up 'cause I'm an idiot. Hi.
  Imogen: He fucked up 'cause he's an idiot.
  Ashton: Pretty fucking bad.
  Allura: Oh. Standard fare for a group of heroic cruxes in our future plans. Wondrous.
  Ashton: (mumbling) That's kinda mean...
• In order to cheer Fearne up, Chetney suggests they break a bunch of the windows around the castle's garden. It works, and Gwendolyn even joins in. When Percy discovers them...
  Chetney: Oh shit, it's the fuzz! (He and Gwendolyn run off)
• Ashton runs into Percy, who is staring in exasperation at the trail of destruction Chetney and Gwen left behind.
  Ashton: Why'd you break all these windows...?
  • Ashton ends up confiding in Percy, confessing that he fucked up real bad. Percy gives him some advice for what to do when you fuck up: you make sure nobody sees, if that fails you do what you can to make it right, if that fails you run away to go live in a bush somewhere.
    Ashton: You have really nice bushes here, I've got to say. They're very—
    Percy: No, not these bushes. You're not invited.
    Ashton: I had a feeling, I just thought I'd ask.
• As Fearne exits the Matron's temple, Matt describes a raven cawing in the distance... then asks Taliesin to do the sound effect for him. He does, scaring the shit out of Laura in the process.
• The next morning, Chetney and Ashton are the only ones there at breakfast. Chetney decides that it's the best time to test out what Ashton's new arm can do, turns into a werewolf, and lunges.
  Ashton: Now?! Really?! Now?! Fuck.
  Travis/Chetney: Listen, when you get new shit in D&D, you test it out!
  Taliesin/Ashton: But right now?!
• Ashton tries to get Fearne alone so he can apologize to her one-on-one. The way he decides to do this is to ask her for help finding a book, because he can't read (even though it has been firmly established that Ashton can read).
  • While the two of them talk, the rest of the Hells all pretend to read, while very blatantly staring. Some of them are holding their books upside-down.
• Poor Allura is having a time of it having had to rapidly process not only that Fearne's nana is the Morrigan but that she will be teleporting the party to Ligament Manor directly, without invitation or announcement, right now, immediately.
  Imogen: You want a drink, Allura?
  Allura: No! (nervous laughter) Yes.
  • And of course, immediately upon being introduced:
    Allura: [clutching her staff with an expression of polite terror] Hello! I am...A-Arcanist Allura Vysoren, of the Tal'dorei Council and Arcana Pansophical, I have many powerful friends who know where I am and will come looking for me if I vanish.
• As the Hells and Allura arrive, they catch Nana Morri in the middle of watching something on her crystal ball. Closer inspection shows an elven man teaching a class and becoming flustered when something gets out of hand out of nowhere. Nana Morri informs them that the person she's playfully tormenting in the crystal had reneged on a deal they had made. So she occasionally passes into his life to mess with him. Later on, she turns away and acts as if she's going back to watch her favorite tv station.
  Morri: Now, I must get back to my stories.

Episode 79: To Hurt Is to Heal

• At the end of his conversation with Ashton, Orym's attempt to give them a kiss on the forehead is slightly interrupted by the fact that he only comes up to about Ashton's hip, and has to ask them to pick him up first. When Ashton puts him back down, Orym sneaks in a few pull-ups off their arm before dropping back down to the ground.
• Imogen decides to take off her circlet that shields her from other people's thoughts. Chetney reacts... predictably.
  Chetney: Imogen. What am I thinking?
  Imogen: (exasperated) You're thinking about having sex!
• Fearne and Birdie have a private conversation where Birdie drops the bombshell that Sorrowlord Zathuda of the Unseelie Court is Fearne's biological father. Fearne excitedly shares this with the group afterwards.
  Fearne: So, like I thought, I am royalty.
  Laudna: Wait, that's your takeaway?
• The Truth trial requires the Hells to reveal truths about themselves to progress. Most of them are heartbreaking, others... not so much.
  • Orym confesses that, although he laughed it off before, he still sometimes wonders if Chetney is his dad.
  • Fearne tells the other Hells she does stuff to them while they sleep, then quickly has to clarify she means things like braiding their hair, not sex stuff.
  • Laudna whips out Pâté and Ashton goes to immediately interrogate the companion and demands to know if Pâté is actually working for Delilah. Pâté stares up in confusion and yells, "I don't know what that means!?"
    • At the start when Chetney declares that wood was obviously better than metal, leeches start to attack the group. Everyone starts blaming Chet for lying, and Travis claims that the leeches had only just started biting them when Chetney yelled that out.
• While climbing out of the chasm of the Truth trial, Imogen and F.C.G. float over to the other side of the chasm on some floating mushrooms, and are caught by a bush that grew out of the wall as Imogen shouted out a truth. The cast immediately starts making innuendos, getting more and more giggly until Sam's "I'm gonna steer the head of the mushroom into the bush" sends everyone into hysterics. Matt falls into an unmoving double-facepalm as he struggles to keep his composure, causing Laura to realise he'd slipped into a massive case of Accidental Innuendo again and had no idea until that moment.
  Laura: You didn't even know you did it!? (The cast continues their peals of laughter at Matt's misfortune)
  Travis: He caught up!
  Matt: (choking on his own laughter) You — You motherfuckers!
  Travis: This mushroom keeps rising and falling!
  Liam: Is there anything coming out of the mushroom?
  Laura: Yeah, spores!
  Marisha: Pretty little spores.
  Sam: Little spores.
  Ashley: I'm going to ride this mushroom out of the hole.
  Matt: Suddenly everything falls from within the chasm and you all plummet to your deaths. Jesus Christ.
  [...]
  Matt: (trying to move on by describing their traversal across the chasm on said mushrooms, using hand gestures) It's a little hard to aim, but it was already at a pretty decent trajectory. As the rest of you ride these mushrooms up into the gust of wind, and then eventually the spores cause it to begin to curl and wither...
  Liam lets out a barely suppressed snort of laughter, Ashley starts guffawing, Matt slumps down in defeat and immediately grabs a drink from his flagon, before giving a Head Desk
  Taliesin: I'm holding it together. I'm fine. Just pointing that out. Punish them, not me.
  Liam: Hold on! I love it when we pervert Matt's narrative! It's true!
• For the second game, Morri asks for volunteers. Chetney, Imogen, and Ashton raise their hands, and Morri touches their foreheads gently... and seals their eyes shut. Which would be bad enough, but Matt then gleefully reaches under the table and pulls out three blindfolds for the players.
  Sam: Cast's honor, we won't fuck with you while you're like this.
  Laura: Well, now I trust you even less!
  • Matt asks Travis to switch seats with Marisha so he can better reach the center of the table, and permits him to lift his blindfold for a second to transfer seats. Travis confidently states he doesn't need to lift shit, then immediately slips and nearly falls off the chair. He also jumps about a foot in the air when Matt leans over his shoulder without warning him.
  • The blindfolded players aren't allowed to look until their turn is over, meaning they have exactly zero clue what's going on. While everyone else gets progressively more stressed, Sam points out that Taliesin — who is last — is just meditating in his corner, oblivious to everything.
    • When it's Taliesin's turn, only Laura and Ashley are allowed to talk, since everyone else's mouths are sealed in-universe. Sam proposes just leaving a blindfolded Taliesin alone in the studio with a recording of Matt saying things like "Almost ready!"
      Taliesin: Matt forgot to give me earplugs, you know I can hear all of this. And I have enough echolocation to know exactly where you're sitting.
    • As only Laura and Ashley are able to guide Taliesin, the others - with little else to do - quietly talk. Namely, the hushed conversation between Marisha and Sam cracking each other up about how the instructions given sound like they come either from an overly-helpful kindergarten teachers or could possibly get them in trouble with Terms of Service by being mistaken for suggestive ASMR (not helped by an ill-timed grunt of concentration from Taliesin that makes most of the table that's meant to be quiet snort and wheeze with stifled laughter.)
    • A lot of joking mileage is gotten out of the fact that Taliesin holds Ashton's mini like he's moving a planchette on an ouija board.
  • When Morri informs the party that you can't tear a magical scarf into three pieces, Ashton makes a "See?" expression and gesture, calling back to his smashing the Weave Lens under the mistaken impression that all magical items are impervious to smashing.

Episode 80: A Test of Trust

• Nobody trusts each other at the start of the Trust trial, as nobody knows who is an impostor and who isn't.
  Ashton: Why don't we stick together, find one of these branches so we all know what it looks like and what the mode of finding it is, and then we can divide into two teams once we've found one and we've been able to observe all of us together.
  Orym: (sarcastically) Oh, super reasonable!
  [Beat]
  Taliesin/Ashton: Can I find a rock and throw it at him?

• Laudna trying to work out who the doppelganger is, leads to Pâté developing some trust issues.
  Laudna: "Are you a doppelganger?"
  Pâté: "I don't know what that is."
  Laudna: "Am I a doppelganger?"
  Pâté: "I don't know what that is!"
  Laudna: "Do I look like the real Laudna to you?"
  Pâté: "I wasn't even questioning until you brought it up, so I guess that's on you."

• Travis walks around the table to get a better look at the map. Then he starts sniffing his fellow cast members' hair.
  Sam: Whatcha looking for, Travis?
  Travis: Smellin' for a rat.
  Taliesin: All you're gonna find is leave-in conditioner at this point.
  • Taliesin also gets up to walk around the table, and ends up standing directly behind Sam. Sam does not notice this until Taliesin is already there, and nearly jumps out of his skin.
    Sam: (to Marisha) He's never been there before in 80 episodes...
    Taliesin: (petting Sam's hair) Shh... Let it happen. Just let it happen.
    Sam: (fake sobbing)
• Fearne burns the surrounding plants around her, and later on speaks with the plants to find some information. The now semi-sentient flora scream out in horror at seeing their brethren being burnt alive in front of them. Fearne quickly shields them and tries to get them to focus on her.
• After Fearne absorbs the shard of Rau'shan, Imogen wonders if the shard of Ka'mort inside Ashton is also active now, and starts to ask Ashton if he feels any different. Laudna interrupts her by shouting that they need to kiss Fearne, because Ka'mort and Rau'shan were lovers, and that's guaranteed to activate the shards.
  Ashton: I feel like that's a lot of expectation to put onto people right now. Especially with a fucking audience.
  • Ashton and Fearne do decide to shake hands. As soon as Ashton's hand touches hers, Fearne mimes shocking them with a joybuzzer.
    • Once Matt starts describing the fire traveling up Ashton's arm, Taliesin and Ashley decide to actually hold hands for effect. Said effect is slightly diminished by the fact that they're sitting on opposite ends of the table, and are both having to lean uncomfortably far to even reach.
• The activation of the Shard of Ka'mort gives Ashton a new Titan form as well, causing them to grow about two feet instantly. It takes them a second to notice.
  Fearne: You look... different.
  Ashton: Yeah, you look smaller, what happened? You all look smaller— holy fuck!
  • Ashton decides to test their new Titan abilities by falling forward and melding with the stone. It works... but because they're at the top of a tree, they only get about half a foot in before they're abruptly stopped, with an effect more reminiscent of someone faceplanting into a pool of mud.
    • Chetney immediately panics and tries to haul Ashton out by their arm. Ashton doesn't move an inch.