Funny / Critical Role March Of The Red Moon

Critical Role's funny moments
Campaign 1 (Vox Machina): 1-23 | 24-38 | 39-83 | 84-99 | 100-115
Campaign 2 (The Mighty Nein): 1-25 | 26-47 | 48-69 | 70-91 | 92-112 | 113-141
Campaign 3 (Bell's Hells): 1-22 | 23-38 | 39-51 | 52-64 | 65-80 | 81-
Critical Role One-Shots

As a Moments subpage, all spoilers are unmarked as per policy. You Have Been Warned.

Episode 81: The Eve of the Red Moon

• Some lovely innuendo: Fearne asks Ashton to dive down into the ground using their titan form, as she wants to see "how deep [he] can go". Ashton agrees, adding that he's curious to see whether or not he needs to breathe down there.
  Travis: Laura's barely keeping it together.
  Ashley: That one was for her.
  • Fearne's shard de-activates and she transforms back, but Matt does describe her pupils still having very faint flickers of fire in them, and the faintest trickle of black smoke that hangs around her.
    Ashton: In the dark, you look like two cabins that are very far away.
• As Ashton and Fearne return to Ligament Manor, the scene cuts back to the rest of Bell's Hells engaging in some "Yes, and".
  Laudna: (to F.C.G.) You've never played Patty Cake?
  F.C.G.: I have, but my metal hands hurt the people I play with.
  Chetney: He also forgets to take the buzzsaw off, so...
  Imogen: Oh, you know from personal experience?
  Chetney: Yeah. "Patty- AAAGH!"
  F.C.G.: He used to be 6 foot 3...
• Chetney briefly gets into conversation with Nana Morri's sentient door, specifically about how doors in the Material Plane all have names (Door-ian, Bor'Door, etc). The door also wants a name, and is subsequently dubbed Sir Push-Pull.
  • Taliesin later scolds Travis for not thinking of better door names, like "Emergen C. Exit".

Episode 82: Rush for the Bloody Bridge

• Sam's sponsor returns in the new year... except Sam is significantly smaller and dressed in oversized clothes, and explains that he was hit with a curse that turned him back into a child (child!Sam being played by Sam's own son).
  Liam: Sam, it is so great that you let one of your kids stop crocheting wine cosies all day to come and be part of the show.
  Sam: I'm sure he had a fun time.
  Matt: ...wait, that was your son?
  Sam: What are you talking about, Matt? I've been here all along!
• Sam's gas can has a big red button attached to the front, with a sign saying "TRAVIS DO NOT TOUCH THIS BUTTON". Travis smacks the button as soon as he's physically able to, and immediately has a bucket of packing peanuts dumped onto his head.
• Bell's Hells try to get past a group of Vanguard in the most chaotic way possible — making a viable plan, immediately abandoning it, then improvising a new plan while yelling at each other over the Telepathic Bond.
  Matt: How have you all survived this long...?
• Circumstances require Matt to invent a Ruidian counterpart to the phase "curiosity killed the cat" on the spot. He doesn't take this well.
• Instead of letting Orym be self-sacrificing, Ashton just picks him up and bodily throws him into the Bridge.
  Orym: Wait, no, I gotta make sure everyone gets- (whoosh)
  Ashton: Oh, yeah hell no.
  • Matt asks Liam if Orym consents to being thrown. Liam replies that he probably wouldn't, but that he's also very small and wouldn't be able to stop it.
    Taliesin: I mean, we talked about this, we had a little idea.
    Liam: Uh... You said it to me.

Episode 83: Ruidus

• We start out with a brand new sponsor, a clothing shop that specializes in tights, which Sam helpfully illustrates by hunkering down below the frame and sticking his tights-clad legs over the tabletop. Marisha is roped in to show off an armful of tights, with Sam giving her directions and poking her with his feet. Longtime fans will appreciate the Laser-Guided Karma.
• F.C.G. decides to keep an eye on Exandria to see if he can see it turning, thus proving once and for all if the planet is round. The others are immediately excited... until Matt tells them that Exandria isn't turning from their perspective, because it's tidally locked to Ruidus by the Bloody Bridge.
• In an attempt to hide from the Vanguard, Fearne hits the ground and shimmies around to kick up a cloud of dust in an attempt to obscure herself. Imogen just watches her do this from ten feet away.
  Imogen: (dryly) Cool.
• F.C.G. uses the charges from the staff to cast Passwall, opening a hole in the wall for Bell's Hells to sneak out of the encampment through. Sam then immediately realizes that he could have just Teleported them, but now that he's used the charges of the staff he needs to wait for it to recharge again.
  Sam: I did bad. I did real bad.
  Marisha: You did not. It's make-believe! None of this is real.
  Sam: Well, I made-believe bad.
• While traveling across Ruidus in Gaseous Form, Bell's Hells encounter a group of buffalo-type creatures. Laudna very seriously suggests that, in their cloud-forms, they could totally take shelter from the storm by hiding inside the buffalos' digestive tract.
  Taliesin: Can a campaign go by where we don't go up something's ass?!
• Marisha's ADHD-driven spiels provide some much needed levity:
  Marisha: I... fuck! Fuck!
  Imogen: Not now, Laudna...
  Fearne: Stress reliever, but now's not the time.
  • Then it gets worse:
    Marisha: Do I see... Can I... shit...
    Imogen: Can you?
    Matt: You can certainly try!
    Travis: Her body is like (dry dusty poof sound)
    Liam: She probably spits stuff out like an owl.
    Taliesin: You found a magic item!

Episode 84: Red Rural Revelations

• The gang talks to a Ruidian about the local peoples and factions, and they miss-hear him when he mentions their communal sects.
  Imogen: They have communal sex?
• They also become a little too interested in how the Ruidians make babies.
• Matt reveals that Mister can fly and could for the entire campaign
  Matt: He has a fly speed of 30 feet.
  Ashley: Oh, yeah. (More confidently) Yeah, oh yeah!

Episode 85: Intense Interrogations

• Amongst any person the Hells could have run to who is in cahoots with the Ruby Vanguard, it just so happens to be Evon Hytroga. He telepathically admits to Imogen that he absolutely hates it here on the moon. He laments the quietness of his companions and desires to have his cushy life back than be basically stranded on an unknown planet. All of this he does with a strained and silent smile that is begging for help.
• When Ashton gets mind-controlled by the Willmaster they stuck in the hole, Orym's solution is to use Pushing Attacks to try to get Ashton into the basement so the rest of the Hells can open the hole back up without him attacking them. Except Ashton succeeds on his Wisdom save after the first attack, meaning the first thing they see after having their brain un-scrambled is Orym shoving them down the stairs.
  Taliesin/Ashton: I'm just gonna lie down there for a second, because I do not know what the fuck just happened.
  • As the Willmaster's connection is cut off, Matt describes Ashton going limp. Travis then mumbles that there's no part of Ashton that's ever been limp, prompting Taliesin to take on a Thinker-pose.
• The Hells all communicate their plans to each other on how they should deal with the hostages. But since this has been all in their heads, Matt notes that to an outside viewer, they're all just staring at one another making mixed expressions.
  • Travis keeps getting his wolf and Chetney voices mixed up, wondering why Chetney would be talking in his normal voice when he's still in werewolf form. The table jokes that Chetney has always spoken in his normal pitched voice but only talks deep in his head when he's a wolf.
• FCG is against the group killing the Willmaster and the other hostages they had, and proposes tying them to some steeds and letting them run free out into the moon desert. Ashton has to point out that what FCG is suggesting is still murder.
• When the Hells find out that Otohan is with the caravan, everyone immediately starts screaming... except Taliesin, who just looks completely done with life.
  Taliesin: I just want a— I want a nap. I just want a fucking nap.
• Ashton quickly apologizes to Elder Barthie before bonking him over the head so the innocent man wouldn't be suspect in helping the Hells if questioned. Unfortunately, the small bump on his head doesn't do much, and Barthie even encourages Ashton to hit him harder.
  Barthie: You're gonna have to hit me a lot harder than that to- (gets punched unconscious)
• Fearne and FCG walk out to try and blend in with the crowd. Unfortunately, they spot Otohan and get recognized with a Nat 1. Fearne does a one-eighty, claiming she forgot her purse and FCG quickly follows suit with the two trying to find a place to hide.
  • As Otohan attempts to interrogate them, she says that they're looking for people from Exandria who were not invited. Fearne asks what they look like, and Otohan icily replies they look just like Fearne and FCG.
    Fearne: That's... crazy.
    F.C.G.: She gets that a lot.
• With some quick thinking, FCG decides to use banish on himself and Fearne so they can momentarily escape Otohan. In order to cast it, Matt tells Sam he needs to use an object that would disgust the Changebringer. Laura suggest FCG sacrifice his flesh tongue. FCG sacrifice his wooden legs, claiming a lot of people didn't like it.
  • While floating in the grey space, FCG and Fearne immediately try to turn themselves back into clouds. But the actions Sam and Ashely perform make it look like they're desperately trying to do something else.

Episode 86: Doorways to Darker Depths

• The sponsor this week is Czepeku, a TTRPG map-making company, and every time their name is said Marisha presses play on a boombox and house music blasts through the set speakers. At first only Sam and Marisha do choreography; eventually the entire cast gets into it.
• Ashton really wants to take a nap before going into the lake-portal.
  Ashton: (to Laudna) I'm so tired that if you disagree and we get into a fist-fight, you might win.
  • Ashton continues to advocate for resting before trying to enter the lake-portal, and is just as horrified as the rest when they realize that they're being the voice of reason.
    Ashton: I'm just saying, y'all fucking scarred me, I'm trying to be sensible here. If y'all wanna be stupid and crazy, I'm happy to, it's my favorite place to roll. [...] In six hours, we've had what is, on average, three weeks of our own bullshit. So maybe, there's another week of bullshit on the other side of this portal, just waiting for us.
    Chetney: That's really quite reasonable, Ashton.
    Ashton: I cannot believe I'm the voice of reason here, this is really gross.
• A chance move from Orym causes the Hells to discover that they can use Sending once again. They get a hold of Caleb and then Keyleth, and then Imogen gets a Sending from a perky woman she doesn't know but who knows Caleb, and who seems to be unaware or uncaring of Sending's word limit. That's right: Matt is using Jester Lavorre (Laura's character from Campaign 2) to give her a taste of her own medicine!
  • Jester spends an absurd amount of spell slots talking to Imogen. At one point, she even burns one just to say "Hmmm."
• In order to save Ashton, Chetney, FCG, and Orym from the lake monster, Laudna casts Animate Objects on a boat. This causes the boat and its rope to come to life. Matt acts the hell out of it, giving both their own personality. Marisha runs with it, and Laudna dubs herself Captain Laudna and acts accordingly.
  • The rope and boat are quickly dubbed Ropey and Boaty, which leads to hilarity when it comes to describing them in the combat order.
    Marisha: Question, 'cause this is technically Ropey and Boaty's action, can I- (starts corpsing along with everyone else) [...] This is the best spell, and I'm so glad I took it!
    Liam: You sound like a ten year-old in the bathtub. "Well technically it's Ropey and Boaty's turn right now..."
    Marisha: "Ropey and Boaty want a cookie too, okay?"

Episode 87: Arrival at Kreviris

• Sam's gas can this week has a lovely picture of Ropey, made with a partially coiled rope and googly eyes on top, and Marisha brings up that the inspiration was Clippy (that old MS Word Assistant thing).
  Travis: It looks like you're trying to strangle someone!
• As the Hells are making their way through the desert by using a Telekinesis-powered boulder as a hovercraft, they encounter several creatures who burrow through the sand, and seem very attracted to the smell of meat. As they're debating, Travis wonders if they're like polar bears who never see food, and slips into a familiar voice.
  Travis: (Texan accent) Did you know that? If you see a polar bear from two miles, it won't stop until it comes 'n eats yer ass.
  Liam/Orym: ...Fjord?

Episode 88: Seeking Sedition

• While checking his character sheet, Sam discovers that F.C.G. has a black negligee in their inventory, but has no idea where or when he got it from.^note They bought it as a present for Laudna in Uthodurn, but forgot to give it to her.
  Taliesin: It was supposed to be a surprise! Fuck!
  Liam: Happy ninth anniversary!

Episode 89: Divisive Portents

• Bell's Hells meet Rashina's right hand man: a Juggernaut Reiloran named Gaz who sounds exactly like Kronk.
• In the middle of her explanation, Rashina uses the phrase "ace up [my] sleeve", before turning to the Hells and asking what it means, forcing Imogen to explain both the concept of card games, and how one cheats at card games. Gaz in turn explains a Ruidian game: Holies, where two players carve shapes into rocks and... throw them at each other until one of them falls unconscious.
  F.C.G.: Why is it called Holies?
  Gaz: Because if you throw it really hard, you leave a hole.
  Ashton: Is there a points system to this? I'm suddenly very interested.
• As the group is getting ready for bed, Ashton asks one of the myceit for something to drink. It brings them a large bag of water, which Chetney immediately tries to claim as a bed. Ashton tosses the myceit a silver... which just bounces off its cap.
• Sam's flask has the iconic Dune popcorn bucket taped to the front, labeled "Discover the secrets of Dunamussy". Laura immediately reaches a hand in and pulls out an Essek figurine.
  Taliesin: I take back like 80% of what I've ever said to you. You're magical.

Episode 90: Mission Improbable

• As Team Infiltration is scouting the outside of the tower, Matt describes it using hand gestures. Of course, the players immediately turn things phallic.
  Liam/Orym: Guys, this is my favored terrain. Go straight up there. [...] I'm used to height differential.
  Laura: (laughing) Jesus...
  Matt: You're only plotting the outside, you have to get in there too!
• In the previous episode, the group searching for Evoroa asked for any personal effects of hers and was told that the Volition still had some of the physical messages she'd sent them. It isn't until they've gotten all the way to the Arx Creonium and snuck in through a balcony window that they check the satchel they were given and discover that it contains Evoroa's cytaa, who is understandably cranky after spending the entire 45-minute trip crammed inside.
  Gona: (gasping for air) Took you long enough.
• Team Demolition gets accosted by one of the Sunder King's guard dogs, a situation they apparently have no idea how to handle.
  • Fearne tries to get the dog to leave by casting Speak with Animals and persuading it to leave them alone. She does this while speaking in a baby-voice the entire time.
  • Ashton asks Matt if he can distract it with some griphon meat he had in his pocket, but kind of winces as he realizes how old that particular piece of meat is. Matt then tells him that he doesn't have griphon meat in his pocket, he has a clump of green, slimy rot stuck to the bottom of his pocket that he should probably clean out.

Episode 91: True Heroism

• The "I'm a Cat" ad bit gains a new character: a peppy, giggly mouse, played by Taliesin "executivegoth" Jaffe himself. The second he starts talking the entire table collapses. Travis declares it "a free Nat 20".
• To escape from Gloamglut, Ashton decides to smash a hole into a nearby wall, run through the structure, then smash right out the other side, an easy task due to the active shard of Ka'mort dealing double damage to structures. Liam describes this as "Looney Tunes-ing it."
  • Ashton then decides to smash another hole in a different building as a diversion for their pursuers. Taliesin rolls a natural 20, resulting in Ashton accidentally bringing the entire building down with a single hit, drawing attention from every nearby soldier in the process.
    Ashton: ...Didn't mean to do that!
    Marisha: The worst natural 20!
• As the Weavemind tries to take control of Chetney, Imogen, Laudna and Orym, Sam shouts to Travis "Quick, distract them with a toy!" The mental image of these extremely powerful and dangerous entities getting distracted by a ball-and-cup game or a slide whistle completely breaks Matt for a solid minute.
  Matt: (ominous voice) "You will- ooh!"
  Taliesin: Cup and ball!
  Liam: Whoever can get the crazy ball in the cup!
  Matt: (cackling) Oh my god, that's too funny!
  Travis: It's mine! No, it's mine! No, it's mine! What the fuck?!
  Liam: (ominous voice) It's called a Slinky!
  Ashley: Give 'em one of those slippery things. "Why can't I hold onto it?"
  Liam: If we keep making these jokes for 30 minutes, we don't have to deal with the problem!
• The sheer hatred the entire group has for Otohan, both in and out of character, to the point that Ashton actually has the tamest insults towards her. Ashley screams "BITCH" in the middle of rolling her attacks, Laudna outright calls her a cunt, and when Otohan chugs a healing potion, Dani Carr can be heard in the background faintly screaming "FUCK YOU!"
  • Adding onto Laudna cursing Otohan. After she yells that, Matt notes that Otohan's attention immediately turns towards Laudna's direction.
  Laudna/ Marisha: (hides behind her hair) I immediately retract my shit-talking.
• After F.C.G.'s Heroic Sacrifice, the table is silent as they mourn the second mid-campaign PC death of Critical Role's run... until Taliesin, who had the first mid-campaign PC death of Critical Role's run, remarks that he much prefers to be on the other side of it for once.
• Probably trying to alleviate the grief of the situation, Sam jokes that the party can find F.C.G.'s flesh tongue on the ground. Matt and the table groans but manages a laugh.

Episode 92: Broken Roads

• Because Sam isn't at the table, it falls on Marisha to do the ad read. She does so in a hot dog costume that, despite being very high quality, still looks like a vulva.
  Travis: (trying to get part of the costume out of Marisha's face) You gotta pull the folds back.
  Liam: Yep, that's generally how it works, Travis.
  Marisha: I just wanna say it looked different on the website.
  [...]
  Laura: Just pull the sides apart!
  Marisha: Oh, does this help, Laura?! Does this help?! Is this making a difference?! (Beat) My head is stuck.
  • The rest of the cast can't stop roasting the hot dog costume.
    Matt: It looks more like a lazy falafel.
    Marisha: (loudly) The finale of Candela Obscura-
    Taliesin: Speaking of cosmic horror.
    • And, of course, Marisha's repeated insistences that, quote, "This is a hot dog."
• The Hells decide that rather than stealthing through the camp by the Malleus Key, they'll use Deception to pass themselves off as Vanguard. It doesn't go well, and they only make it out due to a clever use of Phantasmal Force by Laudna. As they're debating how to stealth back to the encampment...
  Travis: You sure you don't wanna just use a Deception check?
  Laura: Hey. Fuck off.
• Near the end of a very emotional conversation, the Hells realize they forgot that Evoroa was still with them.
  Evoroa: It happens a lot, actually.
  Fearne: Sorry.
  Evoroa: It's fine.
  Imogen: Chetney's gonna fuck you later, I have a feeling. (out of character) I don't really say that out loud.
• Even after two decades of being the Voice of the Tempest, Keyleth still forgets how Sending works.
  Keyleth: I'll be at the encampment as soon as I can. Can you get there safe? (Beat) Oh, that's not how this works.
• As Opal suddenly starts to attack the rest of the Crown Keepers, Morrighan tries to help by casting Haste... on Opal. Erica quickly retracts it, but Aabria promises to Venmo her 20 dollars if she does it anyway.
  • Morrighan instead casts Haste on herself, which doubles her already very impressive movement. She jokes that she's going to spend the rest of her turn going to get fast food.
    Aabria: You go to Arby's, you get a giant hot dog that looks like a pussy!
• Dariax is confused by the Darkness spell, and calls out to Dorian worried that he's gone blind. Dorian shouts back that it's just dark, and that "[his] body is okay." Dariax, relieved, shouts back that his body is indeed okay... before getting absolutely pummeled by Opal's Eldritch Blast.
  Dariax: IT'S NOT OKAY!
• Then there's Cyrus, just kinda standing in the back awaiting instructions from the others. When he does get attacked by a creature, all he can really do is scream and try to tear the creature off of him.
  • During the battle, Opal calls out all the handjobs she'd been giving Cyrus as reason why he should be doing a better job helping her. Aabria Yes-Ands this and challenges Aimee to roll a performance check to see how well she did with those handjobs, and when she rolls poorly, Aimee admits that Opal is a virgin as the reason why her handjobs are so bad. Later, they quip that she needs guidance on how to properly perform them.
  • The group then collectively decides that the bad handjobs are why Cyrus is still at Level 6.