Funny / Beauty and the Beast (2017)

Slapstick, indeed!

Being the remake of a Disney film, there are gonna be some funny moments:

• In the intro, when the Prince's servants are preparing him for the party, Plumette powders on his make-up, saying "Pouf Pouf."
• Near the start of the opening song 'Belle' is a blink and you will miss it moment. A man is apparently arrested and about to be put in a cell but that does not stop him saying "Bonjour!" to Belle! This is a call to when in the original a man in the stocks tipped his hat to her.
  • The look on the Baker's face, just after Belle sings the lyrics about him and his "bread & rolls to sell", seems to express, "Did she just say that about me, and what I do?! "
  • Near the end, the second stanza that ends with Belle's "provincial life" line sets up the rhyme with an abrupt, irritable-sounding voice going "I'll get the knife"
• Gaston and LeFou discussing Belle has an excellent Bilingual Bonus beyond the obvious joke of Gaston not understanding French (despite the story being set in France).
  Gaston: She's the only girl that gives me that sense of...
  LeFou: Hmmm, je ne sais quoi? (I don't know what)
  Gaston: I don't know what that means.
  • Further, LeFou has some concerns about Belle and Gaston's compatibility...
    LeFou: But she's so well-read, and you're so.... athletically inclined...
• During "Belle" after the Bimbettes fawn over Gaston and his horse sprays them with mud, LeFou goes over to them and says with the most sassy tone, "It's never gonna happen, ladies."
  • Even funnier if you think of it as Animated!LeFou getting his revenge for the Bimbettes splashing him with a well during the same verse.
• Gaston's first exchange with Belle:
  Gaston: Good morning, Belle! Wonderful book you have there!
  Belle: Have you read it?
  Gaston: ...Well, not that one, but you know... books.
  • After that, Gaston tries to get Belle to invite him over for dinner. When he asks her if she's busy and that's why he can't join her for dinner, she replies with a curt "No" and walks away. The best part is Gaston's confused look (as though wondering if there was a follow-up to the "no") just as she walks away with a look saying "I am so done".
• Gaston asking Lefou what Belle has that makes her not grovel at his feet like the other women. Lefou's response: "Dignity." Gaston finds it so attractive in a woman.
• How vain Gaston really is can be shown by this scene:
  Gaston: You are the wildest, most gorgeous thing I've ever seen!
  [camera cuts to him looking at himself in a mirror]
  Gaston: Nobody deserves you.
  • Shortly following this, LeFou shows up and asks if he caught him at a bad time and tells him that Belle's in need of help.
    Gaston: [to his reflection] I'm not done with you yet.
    LeFou: [does the same] Me neither. [follows after Gaston]
• This extended scene shared by Luke Evans on his social media accounts:
  LeFou: [accidentally fires Gaston's rifle and kills cow] I really hope that cow was old.
  Gaston: [after dispersing crowd gawking at Belle] I am not sure what's going on here but I am pretty sure I just fixed it.
  • Someone added a laugh track to it.
    • Even funnier? There is no cow in the background of that scene... so just what did Le Fou hit? And why did it make that noise if it isn't a cow?^note Most likely the cow was meant to be CG and it just never got added in when the scene was cut.
• Lumière's accent has a certain amount of... Narm Charm for some, given how silly he sounds.
• When Maurice first comes across the castle, he finds Lumière and Cogsworth, vocally admiring the way they were crafted. After he leaves, Lumière refers to Maurice as "a man of taste", to which Cogsworth responds that he was talking about him (Cogsworth).
  • Also, after finding the castle's fireplace to warm himself, he warms his backside. This also doubles as a Shout-Out to the opening scene of Pinocchio, where Jiminy Cricket does the same thing right after entering Geppetto's house.
  • When Maurice notices Chip sliding across the table of his own accord:
    Chip: My mom said I wasn't supposed to move because it might be scary. Sorry.
    Maurice: [calmly] It's all right. [immediately bolts for the exit]
• Maurice's exasperated tone when he lampshades the severity of life imprisonment for a rose. "Apparently, that's what happens around here when you pick a flower!"
  • Which is followed by Belle incredulously asking the Beast, "A life sentence for a rose?"
    • Which is also followed by the Beast's incredibly snarky response, "I received eternal damnation for one. I'm merely locking him away."
• The Beast's facial expression when Belle pushes Maurice out of the cell and locks herself in. He has that 'What the hell?' look.
• After spending the night in her cell, Belle hears a voice and asks who just spoke. After Lumière says 'Hello' a startled Belle gasps in shock, causing Lumière to fall to the ground, where Belle promptly smashes the stool she's armed herself with over his head - Lumière just comments that she must be strong as the broken stool is "good quality". Even better, when Cogsworth enters the scene, Belle has already lifted her chamber pot to clobber him with.
  • Lumière imitating the Beast.
  Lumière: Oh, what? That (imitating the Beast) "Once this door closes, it will not open again!" (roar); [normal voice] I know, he gets so dramatic.
  • Cogsworth's rather snarky response when Belle questions Lumière's ability to talk.
    Cogsworth: Well, of course he can talk! It's all he ever does.
• Belle tries to assure Lumière that she's alright with the whole Enchanted Objects thing.
  Lumière: Forgive first impressions. I hope you're not too startled.
  Belle: Why would I be startled? I'm talking to a candle.
  Lumière: CandelABRA, please. Enormous difference.
• Lumière and Cogsworth accidentally mention the West Wing, and attempt to cover it up.
  Lumière: To the East Wing, or as I like to call it, the only wing!
• The Beast angrily shoves his plates aside like a spoiled child upon finding out that Lumière is making dinner for Belle, right after he sees an extra placed set at the table.
• After meeting the Enchanted Objects, Belle cautiously looks at a hairbrush and asks for its name... only for Cogsworth to reassure her that it's just a normal brush. Lumière's Face Palm and Plumette's giggle sell that moment.
• When Lumière and the others are suggesting ways for Beast to charm Belle, he asks for a smile and gets a... rather scary grin.^note This also happened in the original version. The others recoil. Beast gives a scowl that basically just says 'really, guys?'
  Lumière: Oh Mon Dieu.
  • When the Beast asks "Will you join me for dinner" in a chipper voice that borders on narmy, he gives himself the most disgusted look like he's thinking "This feels stupid!"
    • The manner in which he first invites Belle to dinner:
      Beast: (after knocking on Belle's door) You will join me for dinner! That's not a request.
  • Then the conversation does not end well:
    Belle: I’d starve before I’d ever eat with you!
    Beast: WELL, BE MY GUEST! Go ahead and starve!
• After the Beast makes his declaration that if Belle doesn't eat with him, then she doesn't eat at all and storms off:
  Cogsworth: [popping out from around the corner] You can't talk to us like that, I forbid it! [pretends to just realize that the Beast has left] Oh, am I too late? Shame, I was really going to tell him off this time.
  Lumière: Oh master, you've returned! [Cogsworth turns around with an Oh, Crap! expression, poops out cogs, but finds the Beast isn't there]
  Cogsworth: Oh, very funny.
  Lumière: I got you there!
• A throwback to the 1991 version where Chip does his 'trick' by blowing a bubble in front of Belle.
• Madame Garderobe's "attempt" at dressing Belle for the first time culminating in Rummage Sale Reject, complete with a puffy French wig. Like in the original, she opens up her drawers only for moths to pop out — but the film pushes the pun further by having her open her bottom drawer.
  • And after the dressup, she immediately falls asleep.
  • Lumiere's reaction to the ridiculous outfit, blatantly lying to spare Madame Garderobe's feelings.
    Lumiere: Tasteful, understated ... I love it.
• In the song "Gaston" there is a particularly funny line that is improvised.
  LeFou: AND his name is!/G. A. S. T.... I believe there is another "T"... it just occurred to me that I'm illiterate and I've never actually had to spell it out loud befooore.
  • Even better when you notice the painting behind LeFou has Gaston's name clearly spelled out for the world to see, and he actually looks at it... But since he's illiterate, he can't read and makes the above confession.
    • When he leaves with Gaston to help Maurice find Belle, he guesses "O?"
  • While the film doesn't use any of the songs from the musical, it does retain a line in the "Gaston" song that was added to the musical: "Who can make up these endless refrains like Gaston?"
  • How do you get an entire tavern to join in with a highly choregraphed song and dance routine? Well, if you're LeFou, you sneakily pay them! Several times.
  • We also get a glorious scene in which Tom, Dick, and Stanley do not have the typical Crowd Song Choreography Syndrome.
    LeFou: Whoooo playyyyyyyyss-
    T/D/S: (blank stares)
    LeFou: -sss... (mimes throwing darts)
    T/D/S: ...darts like Gaston?
    LeFou: (slapping his chest) Who breaks...
    T/D/S: ...hearts like Gaston?
  • LeFou ends up dancing with Gaston to the point he's being held by his crush. Gaston is confused, and when LeFou asks if it was too much, Gaston responds with a "Yup!"
  • LeFou's reaction to being lifted by Gaston.
• Lumière says Belle must be in there 'scared to death' then the scene cuts to Belle trying to escape her room.
• Though she is creepy-looking, Garderobe is certainly a Large Ham with her opera screaming, and the way she calls her dog who is now a piano stool is also funny.
• After the servants leave Belle in Impossibly Tacky Clothes, Belle simply crawls out from under the dress like it was a kiddie playhouse.
  • Even better, the dress actually stays in place afterwards, even as Belle is walking off.
• Lumière, overseeing preparations for "Be Our Guest:"
  Lumière: Mmmm, I have no tastebuds, but I can tell this is exquisite!
• We have this exchange between Cogsworth and Cadenza:
  Cogsworth: Maestro, p-play quietly, please.
  Cadenza: Oh, quietly, sotta voce. Of course. Are there any other tasteless demands you wish to make upon my artistry?
  Cogsworth: No, that's it.
• During "Be Our Guest", Belle keeps trying to eat the food laid out for her, only for it to keep getting pulled away from her. Lumière takes away her menu (after literally only letting her take a glance), knocks Belle's utensils out of her hand, and later the servants pull the tablecloth and Belle's plate away from her. At the end of the song, he offers Belle a small pudding. Much like the original, we never see Belle actually eat during this scene despite the fact that the servants are offering her a gigantic feast.
• Cogsworth proves he's Not So Above It All as he ends up taking part in "Be Our Guest" profusely. He starts trying to chip into the song, with a tone-deaf "She's our guest!" as he tries to help out in charming Belle. For the big finale of the song, the servants pull out a giant Taj Mahal, and Cogsworth emerges from it wearing a ridiculous and hilarious turban dramatically singing "COURSE! BY! COURSE!" Cogsworth can be heard singing along for the duration of the song, and it's just plain hilarious yet awesome at the same time to hear Ian McKellan's booming voice singing along to one of the most joyous, upbeat Disney songs ever made.
• Lumière and Cogsworth's chess game:
  Lumière: Checkmate. Again.
  Cogsworth: Wait, no- you cheated, again!
• While following Maurice to the Beast's castle, Gaston is losing his patience. So LeFou placates Gaston by bringing up his happy thoughts, which solidly Crosses the Line Twice... or possibly thrice. Gaston being boorish enough to find the first two to be happy thoughts is darkly funny enough, but the last one pushes the joke so far over the top it becomes hilarious.
  LeFou: Blood, explosions, countless widows.
  • It's even funnier if you imagine Olaf saying it.
  • Gaston then turns to Maurice with a happy, cheerful grin and apologizes, and affectionately calls him "old bean".
  • When Maurice is ahead of them, rambling about magic, LeFou leans closer to Gaston and whispers, "Do you really want to marry into this family?"
    • All the while, Maurice tries to reenact how he found the trail to the Beast's castle the first time. As if it's not funny enough that Kevin Kline is making lightning and tree-toppling noises! Topped off with Gaston's expression, as though he's indeed having second thoughts.
• The delivery on this line:
  Gaston: Ahh, LeFou. How is it no woman has snatched you up?
  LeFou: [as he wraps his arms around Gaston] I've been told I'm clingy, but I really don't get it.
• The Beast's response when asked if he's read every book in his library.
  Beast: Well, not all of them. Some of them are in Greek.
  • Belle lampshades that the Beast just made a joke.
• The scene where Belle is trying to heal the Beast's wounds. Complete with the classic argument.
• The Beast's facial expressions when talking about how he doesn't like Romeo and Juliet, complete with him sticking his tongue out. The look on Belle's face is just as hilarious as she probably had some ideas as to where the conversation was headed; her taste in literature, however, had not been one of them.
  • When Belle tells him that Romeo & Juliet is her favorite Shakespeare play, he comments "Why is that not a surprise?" Then, during the tongue sticking out bit above...
    Beast: Well, all that heartache and pining and... So many better things to read.
    Belle: Like what?!
    Beast: (taking her to his library) Well... there are things in here you could start with.
• After the Beast says the library is hers, once to herself, Belle cheers like any bookish fangirl.
  • She looked like she was waiting for him to leave as to avoid being judged. So when he left, she just giggled and nearly looked like she was gonna act like a five-year-old in a candy store.
  • A blink and you'll miss it moment but when The Beast leads Belle into the library, her awed reaction has him confused. She's only had access to Villeneuve's chapel's scant book collection, whereas he's been used to having this vast library.
    Beast: Are you alright?
    • Also doubles as a Heartwarming Moment seeing The Beast's concern for her.
• During "Something There" Belle throws a snowball at Beast. This time he actually manages to retaliate; she barely has time to react before his big snowball hits her full in the face and knocks her to the ground. The cherry on the top? Beast chuckling afterwards.
  • Before that, Belle watches the Beast's interactions with Philippe from afar. Philippe lets out a snort, and the Beast imitates it playfully.
  • Maybe to add to it, perhaps Beast is actually talking with Philippe...since there is a scene later on where the two seem to be talking.
  • As in the original, Chip asking his mother about "what's there" and her assuring him, "I'll tell you when you're older." Chip looks back and waits a few seconds, before turning to Mrs. Potts and saying, "Okay, I'm older!"
    • Complete with a comically deeper voice to sound older.
• The Beast having a meal with Belle. When he's certain she's not looking, he laps up his tomato soup like a dog. Only for Belle to catch him in the act. Embarrassed by his sloppy table manners, the Beast lifts his head, only to reveal his face covered in the tomato soup like blood.
• When Belle thanks Beast for helping her...
  Belle: I never thanked you for saving my life.
  Beast: [awkwardly] I never thanked you... for not leaving me to be eaten by wolves.
• The Beast offers to magically transport Belle to anyplace she wants to visit, so Belle requests Paris, but where they arrive in Paris (a derelict flat in a poor neighborhood) is not at all what the Beast (or the audience) was expecting, which the Beast lampshades. He begins offering to show her a couple of famous Paris locations, and then dismisses the idea with:
  Beast: Too touristy...
• Maurice has accused Gaston of attempted murder by leaving him tied to a tree for wolves to attack, but his only proof is Agathe, the old lady who rescued him, who is considered a spinster that nobody in the town would believe.
  Gaston: Agathe?! You'd hang your accusations on the testimony of a filthy hag? ... No offense, Agathe.
• The iconic dance scene happens because the Beast jokingly suggests that he and Belle have a ball. "I never imagined she'd actually say yes!"
• Prior to the ball, the servants let the Beast know they're not standing for any Cannot Spit It Out crap:
  Mrs. Potts: Tell her how you feel! Because if you don't, you'll be drinking cold tea for the rest of your days!
  Lumière: In the dark!
  Plumette: Covered in dust!
  Lumière: Dark and very, very dusty!
• As in the original, the first attempt to get the Beast spruced up for the big dance (this time involving period-appropriate makeup and powdered wig) is...less than successful. Lumière's reaction is what really sells it:
  Lumière: I can fix this!
  • The adorkable grin the Beast gives during this scene is gold.
• The battle between the villagers and the enchanted objects is almost just as chaotic and hilarious as it was in the original film.
  • LeFou instigates the fight by finding Mrs. Potts and Chip, and suggesting that she is his grandmother. Mrs. Potts comes to life, pissed off, and signals the attack to begin.
    Mrs. Potts: Grandmother?! ATTACK!
  • Chapeau engaging LeFou in a Good Old Fisticuffs like it were a boxing match, complete with boxing bell sound effect when the latter is down.
  • Between this and the part where Gaston abandons LeFou to find the Beast, we have LeFou shrieking "Gastooooon" as Cadenza glomps him then plays the first notes of Chopin's Funeral March.
    LeFou: (straining) Gaston...help!
    Gaston: Sorry, old friend. It's hero time. (rushes off to find the Beast)
    Cadenza: Ouch.
  • Cogsworth takes a more active role in the battle this time around, ordering the "infantry" (a bunch of books) into the fray. When he's confronted by Gaston's trio of cronies, he immediately retreats and insists he's just some old clock.
  • When Cogsworth is chased off by Gaston's goons, Madame de Garderobe herself steps in to defend him. How does she do it? She dresses them in ornate, fancy gowns, wigs, and makeup! Two scream and run in horror, while the third (Stanley) actually likes how he looks and struts off. Garderobe happily tells him to be free and go work it!
    Garderobe: Pretty little boys!
  • Maestro Cadenza is fighting off the villagers when the extremely unpleasant Clothilde shouts to "silence that harpsichord!" But the thing is, that harpsichord happens to be Madame de Garderobe's husband. And that precise moment is the first time they've seen each other in decades. And the good Madame is NOT about to let anyone lay a finger on her beloved. Cue her climbing on the banister, leaping down, and pile-driving Clothilde into submission. And she does it all while singing like a true opera diva.
    Madame de Garderobe: MAESTRO?
    Cadenza: DARLING! AT LAST!
    Garderobe: I'm coming, my love! This is it: THE FAT LADY IS SINGING! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
    Cadenza: BRAVISSIMA!
  • Cadenza and Madame de Garderobe then become a Battle Couple unlike any other: she continues to tackle people, and he shoots his keys like bullets from a machine gun, knocking countless villagers out. The best of the joke is that the "keys" are the equivalent of Cadenza's teeth. Sure enough, when the spell is broken, he's still missing them.
  • When LeFou defects from Gaston and saves Mrs. Potts, he explains that he was on Gaston's side but they're in a really bad place right now. Mrs. Potts immediately warms to him and tells him that he's too good for Gaston anyways. LeFou happily agrees. You'd think they were gossiping over the phone. Then she sprays a man in the face and LeFou punches another.
  • Deleted scenes revealed LeFou hiding in a dark room during the battle, only to meet Monsieur Toilette, a servant transformed into a water closet. LeFou backs away as the toilet belches out water. Cut to LeFou running out of the room, covered in presumably urine, screaming hysterically. Extra points for the extra in the background, who pauses at LeFou's appearance, before running away. LeFou later meets the human Monsieur Toilette after the spell is broken, staring off into space and smelling like a sewer. He proclaims that the first thing he will do is to clean his teeth. Oh, the horrors he has likely experienced.
• Meanwhile, back in the village the asylum keeper is circling the wagon in which Belle and Maurice are imprisoned...and then realizes that it no longer has anyone in it. He turns a corner and sees Maurice standing there calm as anything. As Belle goes riding away on horseback, Maurice casually notes to him that she's headstrong. "Do you have children?"
  • He also politely returns the lock he'd just picked, as if he'd only borrowed it or found it lying on the street.
• As the village prepares to go to war with the Beast, Tom, Dick, and Stanley commandeer the horses pulling the asylum keeper's wagon. The poor guy just stands there with an annoyed look that screams, "Guys, really?!"
• Jean joins the mob that storms the castle, but we see he's only armed with a small rolling pin.
• Cogsworth's reaction to being reunited with his wife, one of the most unpleasant villagers.
  Cogsworth: Turn back into a clock! Turn back into a clock!
  • Fridge Funny: He was probably hoping that she would be dead after all these years, or at least too old to remember him. Unfortunately for him, neither happened.
• The first of the enchanted objects that return to normal is Frou-Frou the dog. The first thing he does? Pee on Chapeau the coat hanger—who turns human just in time to register the indignity.
  • Garderobe and Cadenza are up next, as they turn human in a flurry of fabric. She and her husband embrace, too overjoyed to mind he's missing most of his teeth.
  • When Cogsworth changes back, one side of his mustache is shorter than the other, as though mimicking the hands of a clock. To drive the point home, he twitches it uncomfortably.
  • As Lumière and Plumette embrace, the former's wig catches fire underneath, as though his enchantment is still in the process of lifting. Plumette trying to pat out the fire is what really sells it.
  • During the above-mentioned deleted scene with Monsieur Toilette, we pan over to Chapeau hugging a large man... who is assumed to have been the stove, given Chapeau's cry of "Hot! Hot! Hot!"
• In a deleted scene, the cook/stove covers the Bimbettes in treacle and flour!
• At the end of the film, once the curse is broken and the Dance Party Ending has started, Belle asks the Prince if he's considered growing a beard. And the Prince replies with a playful growl.
• From Jimmy Kimmel Live!: Yehya's review of "the Disney movie, Beauter In Dat Best".
• A small one, but when Belle goes to leave and Chapeau is blocking the door, Belle promptly follows Frou-Frou out the dog door.

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