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Vice Admiral William Ross
Emphasis on "vice."
- Catchphrase: "I don't need to explain myself to you, Captain," whenever he's caught with his pants down.
- Dirty Old Man:
- Admiral Ross is a corrupt bureaucrat who likes to have a good time with his secretary, and orders sex toys with Starfleet funds.Sisko: What are you doing up?
Ross: I was just on my way to get a piece of... water.
- "Hey, Kira, sit on my face and I'll guess your weight!"
- Admiral Ross is a corrupt bureaucrat who likes to have a good time with his secretary, and orders sex toys with Starfleet funds.
Captain Benjamin "Don't Fuck With The" Sisko
Tough as Samuel L. Jackson, suave as Richard Roundtree, more terrifying than Keith David, and indestructible like Mr. T. The only Captain besides Jim Kirk to successfully mitigate, not exacerbate, Starfleet's counter-productivity (by virtue of being big and scary). Designed and built a warp-powered brass knuckle which made the Borg wet their circuits in fear. Got promoted to a literal God at the conclusion of his series.
- Abusive Parents: Yells at Jake for the slightest sign of weakness. The kid's one fourth god afterall. He has no cause to whine. ("Take Me Out to the Holosuite")
- Agressive Negotiator: Why else would the Romulans give Defiant a cloaking device? ("The Siege of AR-558")Sisko: Hey! Ambassador Motherfucker! I need a favor...
- If Sisko had been in charge of the peace treaty, there'd be no Maquis. He'd have just punched the ambassador, made no concessions, and the Cardassians would have been grateful they'd gotten such a good deal.
- Even superior officers can be on the receiving end:Admiral Ross: ...As of right now you're no longer in command of the Defiant.
Sisko: (calmly) I'm going to turn around, and when I turn back, we're going to both pretend that you didn't just say something that would make me punch you in the throat.
- The All-Solving Hammer: In Chuck's imaginings, Sisko solves all problems by punching them, even when said problems can't really be solved that way.
- To the extent he has to remind himself not to install guns on the Bajoran junk ship in "Explorers".
- Badass Beard: The "Sisko-tee". It once left his face in the middle of the night to take down a Dominion weapons depot, and it's mere presence is what enables a solar-sail to survive traveling at Warp 1. Because things like inertial dampeners and deflector shields are for people without beards. ("Explorers").
- Bad Boss: O'Brien's problems with delayed repairs to the Defiant aren't helped by the knowledge that if he doesn't finish the task, The Sisko is going to get a case of self-sealing stem bolts, and shove them up the chief's ass, one by one. ("Treachery, Faith, & The Great River")
- Cargo Ship & Why Are You Not My Son?: Once referred to his "child" before correcting the audience: "No, the Defiant — the one I'm proud of!" It hints at a degree of shame in his novelist son for not learning a more masculine trade. ("Treachery, Faith, & The Great River")
- Don't Fuck With The Sisko: In "For the Uniform", chastises Eddington for forgetting precisely who he's dealing with, then actually being surprised when Sisko dropped a bio-weapon on a Maquis planet that rendered it uninhabitable for human life!
- Drill Sergeant Nasty: Refusal to obey his orders, no matter how absurd they are, is grounds for a beating. ("Take Me Out to the Holosuite")
- Invincible Hero: Probably best summed up in his review for The Siege of AR-558:Chuck: Let me put it in perspective for you: Picard faced the Borg, and after it was done ruining his life, he stood in his office and drank Earl Grey. Sisko faced the Borg and after it was done ruining his life, he fumed in an escape-pod; then went off to design a ship whose only purpose is to kill Borg. It's a set of guns strapped to an engine. Then he called it Defiant, a name that practically shakes its fist at the Borg. That was his second choice, Starfleet felt that the USS Ben Sisko's Muthafuckin Pimp Hand was too long.
- Memetic Badass: In-Universe, he is the baddest mutha of the franchise note .Sisko: Bitch, you think that's it? The list of ways I'm awesome is so long, the only surface large enough to write 'em on is my dick!
Chuck: Yeah, I love them 'Sisko is a badass' jokes.
- Spell My Name with a "The": The Prophets insistence on referring to him as "The Sisko" is because right from the off, they knew precisely what kind of badass they were dealing with ("Emissary").
- Talk to the Fist: Sisko's preferred method of dealing with problems. Rather tellingly, when confronted with the legendary Kirk, the only thing that Sisko wanted to ask him about was the time he got into a fistfight with a Gorn. ("Trials and Tribble-ations")
- Terror Hero: Sisko is perfectly willing to violate orders, blow up retreating ships and render entire planets uninhabitable for humans if it means capturing his target. His superiors — knowing they are dealing with a man willing to punch a demi-god in the face — are apparently too afraid to reprimand him, and have taken to meekly asking that he not try to punch anything on the way out. ("For The Uniform").
- Made more telling since Sisko nonchalantly screaming at his superior officers actually is canon. ("The Wire").
- Questioning a warrior's competence and honor would demand a fight to the death between Klingons. That's why Gowron is quite thankful that The Sisko isn't Klingon when he's on the receiving end of an epic and well-deserved ass chewing from the captain in "Tacking Into the Wind." Gowron knows that any such fight would end with his being forced to eat his own jacket—at best.
- Violence Really Is the Answer: Sisko made a lasting impact on intergalactic relations by punching every problem he came across — and, in his case, it seemed to work really well. (Lampshaded in "The Jem'Hadar".)
- It didn't work quite so well when "Duchess" tried the same thing. Actually in the review for "The Andorian Incident", Chuck notes that if Shran had adjusted his racial slur to "brownskin" and spoke to Sisko the way he did with the cowed Archer, Sisko would have hit him so hard that Weyounnote would have gotten dizzy!
- Worf Had the Flu: The Borg deliberately made sure that he was busy in the Badlands before launching their invasion during Star Trek: First Contact. Otherwise, Sisko would have quoted Ezekiel 25:17 and ended the movie in five minutes."We are the Borg. We cannot be stopped. We are invincible. We— we're sure he's gone, right? He's gone? We cannot be stopped by anyone! ...that happens to be here.
- Chuck believes the only reason the Borg won against Sisko at Wolf 359 is because he was commanding the Saratoga, Starfleet's bitch. This was minorly compensated by the fact Sisko's presence on that ship let there be survivors.
Major Kira Nerys
Doctor Julian Bashir
- I Just Want to Be Special: "Our Man Bashir" shows Bashir as he wishes he could be, the super-strong, super-smart genetic augment he's forced to hide away, now recognised and rewarded for his talents.
- Madden Into Misanthropy: Thirty minutes with the finest minds of Starfleet, and Archer, is enough to convince Julian that Khan was right. Though seeing Janeway get aroused and start flirting with an irate Picard likely didn't help. ("Inter Arma Enim Silent Leges")
Commander Jadzia Dax
- Know-Nothing Know-It-All: Jadzia's qualifications to mentor prospective Trill initiates for the Joining. Despite acting like she knows everything, she had only been Joined herself for three years at that point, so most of the wealth of knowledge and experience she's spouting actually is coming from her previous hosts, such as Curzon ("Playing God").
- Moment Killer: Apparently misses the obvious signs that Bashir and Leeta are ten seconds from screwing in the middle of the bar, until Bashir hands her a PADD that reads "GO AWAY!". Dax takes this as a sign she's being sent for drinks. ("Explorers").
- Screw the Rules, I'm Beautiful!: Jadzia Dax is a spoiled, petulant and narcissistic cheerleader who always must get her own way. While as a Joined Trill she's supposed to have the wealth of experience and knowledge from across the centuries, apparently in this incarnation she wants to add "Annoying Bitch" to the list. ("Let He Who Is Without Sin")
- Her "pranking" of Odo involves moving his furniture when he's in his liquid form. For a character who needs order and was unconscious at the time, that's a dick move. Coupled with her behavior in "Let He Who Is Without Sin" and she's less "royal smart person" and more Stiffler ("Homefront")
Counselor Ezri Dax
- Dirty Old Man: The Cerebus Retcon in "Let He Who Is Without Sin" that the powerful Obi-Wan Moment of Joining glimpsed in "Emissary", actually came about 10 minutes after he suffered a heart attack whilst in the midst of performing a complicated sex act with Vanessa Williams.Curzon: Hehe, I still got my mojo!
- After Joining, most of the memories Jadzia inherited from him reveal that instead of focusing on mentoring her, he was too busy secretly checking out her ass instead. ("Playing God").
- Big Brother Is Watching You: Flanderized in the wake of "The Wire", in which Odo reveals he's always watching or listening in on Quark's outbound calls. Always.
- A seeming Pet the Dog moment happens in "Explorers", when Odo bends Bashir's ear about the arrival of the Doctor's schoolyard crush on the station. This gesture of camaraderie is followed by,"I took the liberty of installing three hidden cameras in her quarters and a tracking device in her ear. The price of freedom is eternal vigilance!"
- A seeming Pet the Dog moment happens in "Explorers", when Odo bends Bashir's ear about the arrival of the Doctor's schoolyard crush on the station. This gesture of camaraderie is followed by,
- Knight Templar: Odo would turn DS9 into a police state to satisfy his need for order if he could get away with it ("The Wire", "Behind the Lines").
- Selective Obliviousness: Claims to respect life too much to step on ants, yet has stood by whilst Sisko sends O'Brien all across the station to remove the infestation of Cardassian Voles, eventually ordering him to exterminate them using a Phaser Rifle ("Playing God").
- Captain Obvious: Martok is a paragon of Klingon wisdom, intelligence, and honor...unless the story focuses on another character, then he starts spouting pearls of wisdom such as, "War is much more fun when you're winning!"Martok: When a father and son do not speak, it means there's trouble between them. Or one has his mouth full. Or they're both sleeping. Think about what I've said, Worf.Worf: Of course, General. Very wise words. You are like the Klingon Yoda.
- Only Sane Man: In "The Jem'Hadar," Chuck calls him "The Reasonable Klingon."
- I Reject Your Reality: Dukat will frequently rewrite his own memories in order to make himself feel better. Example: Kira throws a glass at him. How he chooses to remember it? "No, not now, I'll accept your offer to have a drink with you later... if you wear something nice." In another example, he remembers Gamor not as someone who hated the Dominion alliance... he rewrote the memory so thoroughly, that not only did he remember Gamor embracing the alliance on his deathbed, but that he gave Dukat his power ring and entrusted him with the power of the Green Lantern Corps.
- Dirty Old Man: He was married with seven children, has had numerous affairs with Bajoran women, constantly hits on Kira, and apparently kept records of other people having sex.
The villagers in "Paradise"
- Evil Luddite / Straw Hypocrite: Alixus. She claims that if the villagers were in the Federation they'd be miserable, in bad jobs or in prison... unlike the village, where people regularly die from easily treatable illnesses, are forced to work constantly and minor infractions are met with brutal torture.
- Big Bad: While he says that there are other antagonists in Star Trek, or entities who operate on such different scales of morality that they don't compute, she is the first villain who is out and out evil.
- Stockholm Syndrome: Suffering from this after years of torture and indoctrination at the hands of a mad despot.
- Brainless Beauty: Since in "Children of Time", we see Kira deal with her break-up with Shakaar without screwing everyone in sight, Chuck believes that the supposedly "Ancient Bajoran Break-Up Ritual" that Leeta performed in "Let He Who Is Without Sin" is actually just something one of Leeta ex-boyfriend's invented to convince her into having a threesome before he dumped her.
- The Atoner: Not because of all the bad things he did. Instead, it is because the Cardassians have such horrid fashions.No wonder Garak became a tailor - Guilt.
- Death Seeker: Most of "The Wire" is spent with him like this, only deciding to help with the treatment when he realizes that there's literally nothing he can say or do that will change Bashir's mind.
- Manipulative Bastard: Already a canonical example, his gift for manipulation is expanded upon in "The Wire"; once he understands that Bashir won't abandon him despite his best efforts to make the doctor hate him, Garak uses his third and final backstory to subtly namedrop the colony where Tain - the one man who might be able to help him - has retired to, trusting that Bashir will follow the breadcrumbs.Don't ask someone to do something: leave a few clues to make them decide to do that all on their own.
- Shoo the Dog: The conflicting backstories told in "The Wire" are really his attempts to discourage Bashir from saving his life: first, he tries to exploit Bashir's views on morality by portraying himself as a cold-hearted killer who murdered his friend and an entire transport of innocent passengers just to stop a few escaping prisoners; then, when that doesn't work, he turns it on its head by portraying himself as someone ashamed of doing a good deed, wishing that he'd killed children instead of destroying his career. In the end, he's so desperate to shoo the dog, he actually resorts to physically assaulting Bashir, screaming "I HATE YOU!"
- Undying Loyalty: In "The Wire," Chuck notes how unusual it is that Garak resorted to using the pleasure-stimulating implant just to cope with the unbearable conditions aboard Deep Space 9 when he could have easily just cut a deal with the Federation; with Starfleet so desperate for an advantage, they would have been happy to give him almost anything in exchange for his knowledge of the Obsidian Order, including a comfortable and well-defended lifestyle. Quite simply, even after being shamed and exiled, Garak is just that dedicated to Cardassia, and always looking forward to the day when he can return home and serve the state.
- Anything That Moves: Once wanted to marry Kai Winn's leg. Just the right one, because it talks to him during their meetings.
- Hyper-Competent Sidekick: He thoroughly understands politics and military strategy to the point he was winning the war, and was only defeated because he put so much trust in the Female Changeling, who made mistakes which cost them the war.
- Not So Different: He tries to understand works of art and other items despite not being programmed to in an effort to better himself-just as humans in Star Trek do.
- The Woobie: Invoked, as he points out that his creators gave him terrible eyesight and extremely limited sense of taste (both culturally and in terms of food). He states that the Vorta are like some sort of off-brand humanoid who are nonetheless compelled to love and worship their creators for the terrible job they did on them.
- Worse, Chuck points out that these flaws were corrected in the Jem'Hadar, so it's not like the Founders couldn't give them these gifts... they just choose not to.
- Dirty Old Woman: In Season 1, the O'Briens visit Earth to celebrate Keiko's mother's 100th birthday. Yes, that's actually in the episode. This means her mother would have had to have given birth while in her sixties.Friend: So, what are you going to do in your retirement?Mother: Well, I think I'll have a baby! Not getting any younger! Plus I needs me some of that man-candy! Yum-yum!