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Batman (Bruce Wayne)Gotham City's resident superhero, Batman is a dark and gritty loner, constantly angsting about the deaths of his parents, the horrible event that inspired him to become a hero in the first place. Or so the people of Gotham would prefer. Batman, on the other hand, just wants to be somebody's buddy, and finds a friend in Dick Grayson, soon to be known as Batman's sidekick Robin. Played by Joe Walker.
- All Crimes Are Equal: This version of Batman violently assaults anyone he thinks of as a criminal, including a shopkeeper who accidentally takes a single dollar bill home from the till and intends to return it tomorrow morning.
- Antagonist in Mourning: He misses the Joker, who dies off-screen near the beginning of the play.
- Broken Ace
- Combat Pragmatist: He beats Superman through the use of Kryptonite.
- Idle Rich: He claims to have never worked a day in his life. But then again, bats are nocturnal...
- I Just Want to Have Friends: Very much so.
- Knight Templar: He openly rants to the citizens of Gotham that he's more interested in vengeance against criminals than their welfare. And actually abandons them to their fate when forced to choose between them and Robin.
- Large Ham: Complete with Christian Bale-esque Batman voice.
- Little Guy, Big Buddy: With Robin, who he can pick up and carry around with ease, despite there not being much of a height difference.
- Lonely at the Top: Despite being absurdly rich and a popular superhero, Bruce has no friends. At first.
- Manchild: Bruce Wayne's emotional development stopped abruptly on the night when his parents died. He and Robin bond over their shared love of juice boxes, Alfred has to tell him to stop sulking in his pillow fort and let's not forget "Batman loves the circus."
- Pre-Asskicking One-Liner: To Superman, at the beginning of 'To Be a Man'Batman: I am a man of vengeance. I am a man of the night.
- Pungeon Master: Especially when hanging out with Robin.
- Screams Like a Little Girl: After Superman calls him a "butthead", Batman responds with a scream of rage. A drawn-out, incredibly high-pitched scream of rage that wraps around from being annoying to the 'most hilarious sound on Earth'.
- Sociopathic Hero: Is he ever! He enjoys frightening Gotham's citizens for the fun of it, views everyone as "criminals who just haven't committed any crimes yet", and opts to save Robin and let the entire city die at the end until Robin gives him a What the Hell, Hero?.
- Troll: Bruce makes Twitter accounts for people he doesn't like (like Superman and Obama) and posts about how stupid they are.
Superman (Clark Kent)
- Broken Ace: He is the most powerful superhero of all, and yet people swoon over Batman while ignoring him.
- Butt-Monkey: He gets very little respect from either the superhero community or the population at large.
- Coconut Superpowers: His flight is achieved either through Jim Povolo carrying him or Brian Holden sticking his arms out and making whooshing noises like a five-year-old.
- Dude, Where's My Respect?: Superman is really annoyed about Batman having more fans despite him having more powers and, in his opinion, better villains.
- Fanservice: A handsome man in tight spandex.
- I Just Want to Have Friends: He really has to work at fulfilling his longing for friends.
- Large Ham: "And that's why they call me Superman!"
- No-Sell: Superman very conspicuously does this every time Batman hits him... until the kryptonite comes out.
- Paper-Thin Disguise: Parodied. All the other superheroes know that Superman is Clark Kent. When challenged to prove it, Batman simply pulls out a pair of glasses and sticks them on Superman's face. The Green Lantern wasn't even aware that it was a secret!
- Pre-Asskicking One-Liner: To Batman at the start of 'To Be a Man'.Superman: I am a man of justice. I am a man of might.
- Serious Business: Twitter followers.
Robin (Dick Grayson)
- Ambiguously Gay: He and Batman refer to each other as "bros" and "friends", but they act pretty much like lovers.
The Super Friends
People of Gotham
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: They are very vocal about how much they hate Robin, and yet vote for the water getting poisoned rather than Robin getting killed.
- Scatterbrained Senior: He's really used to Batman saving the day, so he can afford being absent-minded.
- Speech Impediment: He pronounces his "s" sounds as "sh", making "save the city" sound like "shave the shitty".
- Mr. Exposition: As a journalist / newscaster, she often reports about off-screen events.
- Composite Character: Of the original Alfred Pennyworth and Lucius Fox. He tells Batman that "Lucius Fox" is just an alias he used while building the wonderful machines for him.
- Master of Disguise: He disguises himself as O'Malley the Irish Butler as well as Quon Li the Chinese Butler and as Spider-Man.
- Modern Minstrelsy: His disguises are comedic ethnic stereotypes.
- Oireland: His O'Malley persona is a walking Irish stereotype, complete with red beard and a leprechaun hat.
- Parental Substitute: To Batman, even if Batman really mistreats him.
- Stock Foreign Name: O'Malley when he pretends to be Irish, Quon Li when he pretends to be Chinese.
- Adaptational Attractiveness: In the cartoon he was obese and has a long nose.
- Beware the Silly Ones: A sweets-themed villain making candy puns sound utterly ridiculous, but Sweet Tooth is a dangerous maniac.
- Big Bad: He is the most cunning villain and the de facto leader of the Rogues Gallery.
- Expy: Of the Joker.
- Oh, Crap!: After ranting for a minute about how he's thought of everything, he has a minor freak-out when he finds out Batman has a plane.
- Pungeon Master: Candy puns, auuugh!
- Sweet Tooth: It's right there in his name. He doesn't eat much candy though, mostly just makes puns about them.
- Expy: Of Harley Quinn.
- Perky Female Minion: To Sweet Tooth, mirroring the relationship between the Joker and Harley Quinn.
- Cyanide Pill: Rather than reveal Sweet Tooth's plans to Batman and Robin, Penguin swallows a Gusher fruit snack that turns his head into a Rockin' Blue Raspberry. (Shout-Out to a series of '90s TV commercials where Gushers turned kids' heads into giant CGI fruit.)
- Demoted to Dragon: He became the leader of the Rogues Gallery following the death of the Joker, but quickly steps down when Sweet Tooth takes his position.
- Pungeon Master: Bird puns.
- Butt-Monkey: The other members of the Rogues Gallery constantly mock him.
- Poke the Poodle: Due to his number two theme, his crimes are usually pretty weak, such as stealing all two-dollar bills from the Second National Bank on February 2.
The Rogues Gallery
- Everyone Has Standards: Despite being Pungeon Masters, even they groan at Two-Face's two-puns.
- Pungeon Master: All of them make puns about their own motif. Ice puns for Mr. Freeze, plant puns for Poison Ivy, cat puns for Catwoman and fear puns for the Scarecrow. Discussed by Superman and Green Lantern.
- Rogues Gallery: Consisting of the most well-known Batman villains and a few obscure and original ones.