We swear.The Lonely Planet
As our story begins, Wander stands alone on a little greyish-brown rock of a planet. Although it is obviously barren, lifeless and dull, Wander being the person he is, tries to find something nice to say about it just the same.
- Wander: This cute little planet has lots of potential with room to grow!
At Wander's feet a rose blooms, asking in a woman's voice if Wander really thinks she's cute.
- Wander: Also, it talks.
Wander politely says how great it is to make the planet's acquaintance. After a moment, once asked her name, the planet decides to go by the name Janet. Wander goes on to say how "we" weren't expecting this. Janet pauses. "We?" Sylvia greets the planet with enthusiasm, but gets the name wrong. As they prepare to leave, Janet exhorts Wander to stay. To entice him, she storms up an ocean and a beautiful beach. Wander dives in for a swim in the tropical waters, but when Sylvia attempts to do the same, the tide goes out, leaving the Zbornak to fetch up on the rocks. Once Wander's swim is done, Janet grows a grassy hill for him to roll down so he can dry off. When Sylvia tries it, the hill grows jagged rocks. Wander gets a tree sprouted beneath him to view amazing sunsets. When Sylvia asks for a boost, an ugly little shrub takes her six inches off the ground. When she finally climbs to the top of Wander's tree, Janet greys the sky. When they get down again, Wander warns Sylvia to avoid the shrub Janet grew for her.
- Wander: I think it's poison jivey.Sylvia: Of course it is. [butt explodes into hideous red rash]
Wander and Sylvia camp for the night, as Janet asks Wander to stay. Sylvia speaks up and says they can stay for the night only. While they sleep, though, Janet generates a mountain between Wander and Sylvia. When the Zbornak asks what Janet has done with Wander, she says he's just where she left him ... give or take a mountain. Sylvia reiterates that her friendship with Wander is so strong that there is no mountain high enough, no valley low enough, nor river wide enough to keep them apart. Janet takes it as a challenge and creates the geographical obstacles with intent to kill Sylvia.
Meanwhile, once Wander wakes, Janet treats him to an extremely big breakfast, feeding him with vines. Wander delights in the meal, but talks incessantly about Sylvia, oblivious to the twitchy response it causes in Janet. He decides to go look for her, but the planet stops him with a rock and shows him the little cottage she's grown for him. Wander finally realizes the planet's affection is getting a little possessive as he sees the doormat saying "Welcome Wander — AND ONLY WANDER". Sylvia, however, has survived the mountain, valley and river. Janet, infuriated by Sylvia's resilience, opens up a chasm beneath the Zbornak and eats her.
Wander, creeped out by the Stalker Shrine decor of the cottage, asks where Sylvia is. Janet, incensed that Wander won't abandon his best friend, lies to him and declares that Sylvia left him. As she blooms a scarily large rose to kiss Wander, Sylvia arrives and punches Janet's floral avatar out. They Orbble up and seek to escape, but Janet refuses to accept it. She begins whirling in faster and faster rotation, trapping the pair in her orbit. She fires lava bombs out of angry volcanoes. Wander and Sylvia realize that they can't escape Janet's rage, and say loving goodbyes to each other, even as Sylvia's legs keep moving in futility.
Janet, realizing what she's done, lets them go and begins weeping in shame and loneliness. Wander, being Wander, insists that they go back. Sylvia thinks this is a terrible idea, but permits it. Back on Janet's surface, Janet opens a regular-sized droopy rose to apologize to Wander for how she behaved, and musing on how she wishes she had someone who cares for her like the two of them obviously care for each other.
Just then, a French-accented voice comes out of nowhere, with a radiant glow. It appears that Janet is not alone after all. The lava blob she shot at Wander and Sylvia has not only cooled into rock, it's formed into a sentient moon, Maurice, who finds her irresistibly attractive. He begins showering her with affection and compliments. Janet springs back into bloom again with all the positive attention. While Janet and Maurice get to know each other better, Wander and Sylvia take their opportunity to depart quietly.
Tropes appearing in "The Lonely Planet":
- An Aesop: Don't force someone into loving you; your true love will come in due time.
- Berserk Button: Janet gets rather ticked every time she hears one mention of Sylvia.
- Big Damn Heroes: Sylvia bursting through the cottage floor right before Janet has Wander all to herself, saving him.
- Blatant Lies: Janet repeatedly lies to Wander that Sylvia's not coming and she abandoned him in order to keep him away from Sylvia and all to herself as long as possible.
- Burp of Finality: Janet burps after opening up and "eating" Sylvia. Subverted in the fact she survives this, and later rescues Wander.
- Call-Back: There's "not a mountain high enough, a valley low enough, or a river wide enough to keep apart a pair of pals" like Wander and Sylvia is a reference to a line from the "My Best Friend" song from "The Pet". It's also a really sweet indication that they mean it, that it is continuously true.
- Continuity Nod: Several of the photos of Wander inside the cottage Janet builds are from past episodes.
- Deadpan Snarker: Janet is this to Sylvia as Wander introduces her, hinting at her future mistreatment of the Zbornak.
- Death World: Janet, as far as Sylvia is concerned.
- Everything Sounds Sexier in French: Maurice, Janet's moon, has a French accent.
- Genius Loci: Janet the Planet.
- Green-Eyed Monster: Janet admits that she envies Wander's friendship with Sylvia. Fortunately, she gets better when Maurice takes an interest in her.
- Heel Realization: It only takes nearly blasting Wander and Sylvia with lava for Janet to realize she's a bit nuts.
- Leitmotif: Janet has her own musical theme. We first hear it as a majestic and noble theme while Wander views a beautiful series of sunsets on Janet. But it resumes as a gentle romantic tune when Maurice introduces himself and begins to praise her.
- A Lizard Named "Liz": A planet named Janet. One of the rare non-animal examples.
- Mood Motif:
- Horns of Majesty: Janet's leitmotif takes on this variation when she shows Wander one amazing sunset after another.
- "Psycho" Strings: When Wander gets a good look at the cottage she's built for him.
- Horns of Escalation: When Janet tells Wander that Sylvia "left", and that means Janet can have wander ALL! TO! HERSELF!
- Porn Stache: Maurice the moon.
- Stalker Shrine: The inside of the cottage Janet built for Wander. It is enough to even creep Wander out.
- Waxing Lyrical: It's pointed out there isn't "a mountain too high, a valley too low, or a river too wide" to keep Wander and Sylvia apart - this is referencing the lyrics "Ain't no mountain high enough, ain't no valley low enough, ain't no river wide enough".
- Yandere: Janet turns out to be a planet sized one.
Hater, Peepers and some Watchdogs attempt to brainstorm a Wander-proof invasion plan.
Tropes appearing in "The Brainstorm"
- Bizarre Alien Biology: The title card reveals that the watchdogs have brains in their eyeball heads.
- Crazy-Prepared: Hater has a Wander-induced defeat scenario planned for every plan Peepers comes up with.
- The Cuckoolander Was Right: Hater predicts the inexplicable defeat of Peepers' plan at the end.
- Derailed for Details: Hater's imagined defeats become increasingly detailed and ridiculous. One has him and Commander Peepers being blown to another planet, getting amnesia and living out their lives as humble fishermen, fighting over a native woman, losing her to the local baker, and growing old together, wondering what might have been.
- Does This Remind You of Anything?: One of the scenarios is when Hater steals the princess and marries her, only she's revealed to be Wander in disguise and Hater is now married to him - this is considered by most viewers as homosexuality.
- Eye Beams: One of Hater's defeat scenarios involves Wander shooting Shrink Rays from his eyes.
- Fake-Out Opening: The opening has Hater successfully conquering a planet, which is then revealed to be a film of Peepers' proposal for the next invasion.
- Foe Romance Subtext: Hater believes that the plan to kidnap and marry the princess would go wrong because she'd be Wander in disguise.
- Funny Background Event: After Hater's explanation about how he could be so happy with Rosa, some of the watchdogs are angry at Peepers and giving him a bad rap, as if that has actually happened.
- Genre Blind: Peepers fails to account for the Inexplicably Awesome power of Wander in his plan to invade Flendar. He also questions the idea that Wander could happen to show up everywhere he and Hater go.
- Genre Savvy: Bizarre though Hater's imagined scenarios of defeat may seem to Peepers, they're right in line with how the show functions, as proven by the end.
- Imagine Spotting: Peepers appears to react to the shot of Wander posing with Sylvia on a wrecked Skullship over a defeated Watchdog army that's cued by the word "Banjo."Peepers: HOW'D THAT HAPPEN?!
- Mad at a Dream: At the end of one Imagine Spot, the Watchdogs join Hater in his resentment of Peepers' hypothetical actions in a Love Triangle involving an imaginary girl.Hater: Why couldn't you just let me have her, Peepers?! Rosa and I would have been so happy together!!
- Mood Motif:
- The Kazoo of Success: used to indicate the success by banjo.
- Mythology Gag: The Star Wars-esque victorious "Banjo Pose" done by Wander and Sylvia with Hater's image looming in the background is based on the promotional poster for the series.
- Noodle Implements: The first time Hater raises the "banjo" objection, we get a detailed scenario of how Wander's banjo could actually foil the current plan (by happening to match the frequency of Peepers' latest evil invention, causing it to explode). The second time, Hater's Imagine Spot cuts straight to the result without bothering to explain the logic—and that result is exactly what we get at the end.
- Noodle Incident: Hater gets to the point when he simply says "Banjo", implying that Wander will defeat him with his banjo somehow. It then cuts to Wander standing on top of a pile of defeated Watchdogs, holding his banjo triumphantly towards the sky. At the end, Peepers convinces Hater to invade, assuring him that he can defeat Wander, but then they cut to the exact same scene, never showing how Wander defeated him.
- Pants-Pulling Prank: One of the methods in which Wander and Sylvia might ruin the invasion plan that Lord Hater predicts is that Sylvia could incapacitate the Watchdogs by pantsing them.
- Properly Paranoid: Hater lives in fear of Wander because the banjo-bearing fuzzball always defeats him. The end of the episode proves Hater is right to be concerned.
- Rousing Speech: More of a pep talk, really: Peepers gives Hater one when he despairs of ever finding a way to take over a planet that Wander won't somehow thwart.
- Spanner in the Works: One word: Banjo.
- Summon Bigger Fish: In middle of the final, Motor Mouth-speed plan.Hater: What if Wander throws a picnic and invites the Watchdogs and because his pie's so good they go?Peepers: We'll bring giant ants.Hater: What if he brings a giant anteater?Peepers: We'll bring a giant anteater-eater!Hater: What if he brings a-Peepers: AND SO ON.
- Third-Option Love Interest: "Ron the Baker," in Hater's imagined scenario where he and Peepers ruin their partnership fighting over a woman.
- Villain Episode: Even more so than "The Bounty". While the story is about Hater's fear of Wander, Wander's actual appearances are very brief. Poor Sylvia gets even less screen time—and no dialogue.
