Split Personality
When double vision leads to double trouble...
Crypt Keeper: (wearing a poker visor and seated at a card table filled with chips, cards, and dollar bills; toying with an abacus made with severed eyes) Oh, hello kiddies! Tonight's coffin caper is so crammed with ghastly greed, sickening sex, and vomitous violence, that parental guidance is advised. So... guide your parents out of the room, so we can have some fun! (cackles) This tale concerns a gambling man with a bad case of double vision, who's about to hit the hack-pot. I call this twin helping of horror: Split Personality.
Vic Stetson (Joe Pesci) is a small-time con artist who has three big goals in life: stay out of trouble with the law, make that one con big enough to set him up for life, and have sex with twins. After swindling hapless gambler Don (Burt Young) out of $10,000 with some phony advice and his charisma, Vic goes for a drive, but a pair of black cats cross the road as he does so. The resultant swerve makes him blow a tire and drift off the road near a secluded mansion. Vic lets himself in through the patio door so he can call a tow truck, and it's there that discovers the mansion was built by famous architect Etchyson Dobbs Blair, whose attractive twin daughters April and June (Jacqueline and Kristen Citron) now own it and live there. They hold Vic at gunpoint, highly suspicious of him, but he wins them over by pretending to know about their father's work as he waits for his tow. The fact that the twins inherited their father's $2 billion fortune after his death gets Vic to thinking that these twins could be the marks of a lifetime.
To this end, Vic starts separately spending time with each twin, romancing them one at a time. Vic realizes that he could easily ask either twin to marry him and thus gain half the fortune, but he still craves the entire $2 billion. To this end, he uses a pair of sunglasses, a fake ponytail, and a different regional dialect to create "Jack", a fake twin brother for himself. He sells the lie to April and June by telling them that one brother has to be out of the US at all times to look after some investments in South Africa, and he and Jack usually take turns doing so every month. Vic marries the twins in separate ceremonies; April as himself, June as Jack. Sometime later, Vic sunbathes by the pool as April and June talk about putting their lonely pasts behind them and ponder the idea of sharing whichever brother is home at any given time.
The twins also tell each other about their husbands' (identical) sexual fetishes, and a pale patch of skin on the same location on each brother's back, caused by the sash of Vic's robe falling across his back while sunbathing. They soon find the disguise Vic uses to turn himself into Jack, and realize that they've been duped into marrying the same man. Minutes later, Vic happens across a drawer full of newspaper clippings about Etchyson's death. The clippins reveal that April and June, only teenagers at the time, were questioned, tried, and acquitted of his murder. The twins then sneak up on Vic, knock him unconscious, and tie him to one of their beds. They admit to Vic that they did indeed killed their father because they were never able to share him equally, then get revenge on Vic for his deciet by slicing him in half, crotch to head, with a chainsaw. After this gruesome scene, each twin lays half of Vic's body neatly in her bed, caressing it lovingly as bloodstains spread on the sheets.
Tropes:
- Adaptation Name Change: In the comic, Vic was named "Edwin King", and the twins April and June were named "Susan" and "Amy".
- Adaptational Villainy: Aside from killing Edwin as revenge from trying to manipulate them, Susan and Amy do nothing wrong in the comic. In the episode, it's revealed that April and June killed their own father because they were so obsessed with sharing everything, they couldn't bare to have only one of something.
- Artistic License – Biology: Vic meets his end by being cut in half, vertically, with a chainsaw. The final scene shows the two halves of his corpse in separate beds, cut so cleanly that it appears as though he was bisected with a laser, an impossible result to achieve with a chainsaw, given the width of the blade and the general nature of such saws (which don't really cut cleanly though something, but more chew through them in a narrow line).
- Asshole Victim: Typical of a villainous Joe Pesci role, Vic is a scumbag and an all around Jerkass. When April and June slice him in half with a chainsaw, no tears are shed for him.
- The Bad Guy Wins: The psychotic twins get even with Vic for his deceit, and they each take their own piece of him to enjoy.
- Be Careful What You Wish For: Two of Vic's major goals in life are to make a con big enough to set him up for life and have sex with twins. He sees his chance to fulfill both of them upon discovering a mansion inherited by twin sisters April and June, and learning that said twins have inherited their father's $2 billion fortune. He sets out to woo both of them via a Fake Twin Gambit, but unfortunately for him, the scheme leads to his own death once April and June uncover the ruse.
- Berserk Button: April and June are nice enough on the surface, but they really don't like being lied to or fooled with.
- Bizarrchitecture: The twins' mansion, as designed by their late father Etchyson Dobbs Blair. It's only one in a series of similar works, and Vic is said to have presumably seen others to bond with the twins. His initial reaction to the building says it all:Vic: What the fuck is this piece of shit?
- Bookends: Nat King Cole's song "Straighten Up and Fly Right" plays at the beginning of the episode, and does so again at the end, after Vic is killed.
- Breaking the Fourth Wall: Vic looks right at the camera and says "Bingo!", after he marries both of the twins.
- Call-Back: This episode shares a few similarities with Season 1's Dig That Cat...He's Real Gone:
- It has a good amount of creative and wacky transitions.
- A cat (or two in this case) is what kicks off the plot.
- Joe Pantoliano, who originally played Ulric in that episode, plays Jimmy, the blackjack dealer who tries teaching Don how to play and is implied to be in on Vic's scams.
- Just like another Season 1 episode, this one opens on a Nat King Cole tune.
- The episode itself is even filmed in a lower quality similar to the early episodes, making it look like an episode produced for Season 1 that didn't air until now.
- Camera Abuse: The camera is given a transition in a way that makes it appear that it's being splattered with Vic's blood as he gets chainsawed.
- Cat Stereotype: April and June each own a black cat, and true to the stereotype, they give Vic bad luck by sprinting in front of his car, causing him to suffer a blowout outside the mansion.
- Chainsaw Good: April and June's weapon of choice, which they use to kill Vic. Starting at the crotch.
- Cigar Chomper: A good chunk of Vic's scenes show him with a cigar in his mouth.
- Clingy Jealous Girl: April and June are murderously dangerous when they're jealous. Case in point, they actually killed their father solely because they couldn't share him equally, and they later do the same with Vic for his deceit.
- Con Man: Vic utilizes his silver tongue and pours on the charm to swindle old people and clueless gamblers out of their cash.
- Consummate Liar: With his sharp wit, Vic is a pretty successful liar, able to use his charm to get nearly everyone he talks to believing what he's got to say.
- Coordinated Clothes: April and June wear the same outfit in all of their scenes.
- Creepy Twins: April and June are a pair of psychotic recluses who are unceasingly clingy, killing their own father after they were unable to share him.
- Daddy's Girl: April and June were utterly (and quite disturbingly) devoted to their father, killing him when they were unable to share him equally.
- Deadpan Snarker: Vic makes quite a few one-liners throughout the episode.
- Death by Woman Scorned: "Women" in this case, as Vic deceives April and June into marrying him separately, both for their inheritance and to satisfy his Twin Threesome Fantasy. The episode ends with the twins sawing him in half once they discover his scheme.
- Disproportionate Retribution: April and June killed their father just because they couldn't share him equally, and it's all-but-said that he had no say in the matter.
- The Dividual: April and June, who think the same exact thing constantly.
- Establishing Character Moment: Vic's ECM has him overhearing Don from his seat at the bar, and he swindles the guy out of $10,000 by his own confidence and talk of a bad investment idea. It also shows that his primary targets for scamming are hapless gamblers and old people, and he's getting tired of the easy marks, as well as dodging the Feds all the time.
- "Eureka!" Moment: When Vic realizes that he can only marry both of the twins by making a twin for himself.
- Evil Detecting Cat: The twins' cats can sense that Vic is no good, one of them even swiping at him when he tries to pet it.
- Exact Words: April admits to Vic that she and June share everything, even their lovers. The end of the episodes shows that they mean this in the literal sense.
- Faux Affably Evil: Vic can be polite and charming whenever he needs to be, as seen when he talks to the twins.
- Fake Twin Gambit: To fulfill his sexual fantasy of getting it on with twins, and to aid in his quest for the twins' combined fortune, Vic pretends to have his own identical twin ("Jack"), who can't be seen with him at any given moment because each brother needs to supervise some business investments in South Africa, and they usually take turns doing so every month. When necessary, Vic is able to take on Jack's appearance by disguising himself with a fake ponytail, some designer shades, a different outfit, and a Californian accent.
- Falling-in-Love Montage: One of them occurs as Vic romances the twins, bringing them flowers, looking over their father's blueprints, treating them to ice cream, etc.
- Foreshadowing:
- April and June each tell Vic about the many times they used to fight over their father. The end of the episode reveals just what they did about that...
- They also tell Vic that everyone has a dark side that no one initially notices, almost like a split personality.
- The Chinese landscaper Vic ridicules is seen doing yard work with the same chainsaw that the twins ultimately use to kill Vic.
- Formula-Breaking Episode: This is the only episode that begins with a jump cut straight into the story instead of a Fade In. It's also the only episode that ends the story with a transition instead of a Fade Out.
- For Want Of A Nail: If Vic was aware of the position of the sash of his robe while he was sunbathing, or even put some sunscreen on, he could've easily gotten away with his plot to scam the twins out of their inheritance.
- Fourth-Date Marriage: Vic manages to seduce the twins into marrying him after only a few dates.
- Fourth Wall Psych: Vic appears to narrate his inner thoughts to the audience a few times. It's soon revealed that he's actually talking to the bored hooker next to him in bed, who tunes him out when she realizes he isn't paying for sex.
- Gold Digger: Vic's decision to concoct a Fake Twin Gambit is to gain control of the twins' $2 billion inheritance by marrying them separately. As well as the fact that he harbors a Twin Threesome Fantasy.
- Groin Attack: After they discover Vic's fake twin identity and his manipulation of the both of them, the twins kill him by chopping him in half with a chainsaw... from the groin up.
- Half the Man He Used to Be: How Vic meets his death. Vertically. And crotch-first.
- I Love the Dead: April and June end the episode getting disturbingly intimate with Vic's freshly-bisected corpse.
- Incest Subtext: The tone and phrasing the twins use when they describe how they had trouble sharing their father. We don't know if they refer to the struggle as one for parental affection, or one for decidedly more sexual intentions.
- Karma Houdini: April and June killed their father, but were acquitted by a juvenile court. As of the end of the episode, they get away with murdering Vic as well.
- Kavorka Man: The twins fall for Vic even though he's pudgy, stocky, balding, and a bit hairy in the chest.
- Laughably Evil: Vic is a scumbag con man out to swindle a pair of rich twins out of their combined inheritance and have sex with both of them to fulfill his greatest sexual fantasy, but as is the case with a typical Joe Pesci villain, he plays up his vile attitude with comedic grace.
- Newspaper Backstory: Vic learns about what the twins did to their father when he discovers a collection of newspaper clippings in a locked drawer, which detail how April and June were tried and acquitted of his death.
- Nightmare Fetishist: At the end of the episode, the twins get utterly horny after they do Vic in with a chainsaw, sweet-talking the halves of his corpse.
- Number Obsession: Vic has a fixation with the number 2, firmly believing that "the best things in life come in twos". The episode rolls with this, since he ends up experiencing car trouble when two black cats cross the street, he meets a pair of twins who eventually fall in love with him, and he marries them both to collect their $2 billion inheritance.
- Paper-Thin Disguise: Vic's disguise as Jack consists of him wearing jeans, a Hawaiian shirt, a pair of sunglasses, a fake ponytail, and a single earring while speaking in a Totally Radical California accent. It's justifiable, given that he's playing an identical twin.
- Patricide: As they admit to Vic, April and June killed their father because they couldn't share him equally.
- Politically Incorrect Villain: After going for a swim, Vic hurls some politically incorrect insults towards the Chinese-American landscaper tending to the trees, who he calls "Charlie Chan".
- Rage Breaking Point: They keep it silent, but the twins are furious when they learn how Vic swindled them, to where one of them fashions his fake ponytail into makeshift garotte wire.
- Shout-Out:
- Vic tells his hooker of how his sexual fetish for twins began when he saw The Parent Trap (1961) as a boy, "popping a woody" every time Hayley Mills and her "twin" appeared onscreen.
- Jimmy the blackjack dealer calls Vic "Slick" as thanks for his help in swindling Dom. Where exactly would you have seen another "Vic" who's been called "Slick" at the time this episode aired?
- Single-Minded Twins: April and June are basically one woman in two bodies, speaking simultaneously, finishing each other's sentences, and sharing the same pet peeves.
- Sir Swears-a-Lot: In case it wasn't obvious enough, Vic. After all, he's played by Joe Pesci, one of the most swear-happy actors who's ever lived.
- Small Role, Big Impact: The twins' cats, who cause Vic to suffer a flat tire and lead him to meeting the twins themselves.
- Speak in Unison: April and June are prone to doing this, given their status as twins.
- Spot the Thread: April and June can gradually tell that they married the same man when they note that their "husbands" have the same faded patch of skin on their back, which they got while sunbathing.
- Theme Naming: April and June. Vic instantly takes note of it.
- Too Dumb to Live: Don, the novice gambler Vic deceives early in the episode, shows that he essentially has no idea about how blackjack works.
- Totally Radical: Vic speaks this way to mimic what he believes to be a Californian accent.
- Twin Threesome Fantasy: One of Vic's lifelong goals. He achieves it via a Fake Twin Gambit, but it backfires on him in a very bloody way.
- Two Scenes, One Dialogue: The episode switches back and forth between the scenes of Vic seducing April and June individually, splicing the conversations he has with each of them.
- Waxing Lyrical: Vic spends a few scenes in the episode singing "I'm Too Sexy" to himself, utterly mangling it in the process.
- Yandere: April and June were completely dedicated (either in terms of familial obligation or sexual attraction) to their father, to the point where they killed him via chainsaw when they were unable to share him. The end of the episode has them doing the same to Vic as revenge for his trickery.
- You've Gotta Be Kidding Me!: Vic says this word for word when he finds the newspaper articles in the locked drawer, just before the twins knock him out.
Crypt Keeper: (still seated as his poker table, which now has a beating heart on it; he slams a meat cleaver into the heart, which stops beating) I guess old vino Vic thought he could double his fun and his bank account. Too bad he was only half right. Oh well, it just proves the old saying: "Behind every bad man, there's two women... with a chainsaw!" (cackles) So kiddies, care for a little maim of chance? Deads, I win. Tails, you ooze! (flips a poker chip; cackles)
