The one where Skyler fucked Ted.
Around the time Hank was working in El Paso, Tortuga met with his boss in the cartel, Juan "El Jefe" Bolsa. Bolsa offers Tortuga a birthday present: a live tortoise. He even paints a birthday message onto the tortoise's shell. Tortuga panics when he sees what Bolsa wrote for him: "HOLA DEA". Before he can escape, the Cousins apprehend and behead him.
After Mike leaves, satisfied that the Cousins have been driven off and that Walt is safe for the time being, Skyler returns home and finds Walt inside. She threatens to call the police, but Walt refuses to leave, explaining to her that his family was everything to him, and without it, he had nothing to lose. Junior returns home and greets his father, and is infuriated when the police arrive. Skyler tries to explain to the officer that Walt was trespassing and that she wanted him arrested. However, there is no legal reason to arrest Walt: they were not legally divorced yet, since Walt did not sign the divorce papers, and as such, Walt was still legally allowed in his own home. Since there was no domestic abuse, either, there was nothing they could do.
Meanwhile, Jesse sits alone in his new home: the house his aunt owned, which he bought using money from the last big meth cook. Still grieving Jane's death, he calls her cellphone, which goes to voice mail, just so he can hear her voice. Saul pays a visit and asks Jesse when he can expect Walt to get back to cooking. Jesse says he would try, but goes back to calling Jane's cell after Saul leaves.
As Hank learns that he's wanted in El Paso again, the Cousins, along with Bolsa and their uncle Hector Salamanca, meet with Gustavo to discuss the matter of Walter White, whom the Salamancas blame for the death of Tuco and want to exact revenge against. Gus acknowledges their right to revenge, but clarifies that he is in business with Walter. Once that business is concluded, what happens to him will be none of his business; but until then, they are not to approach him.
Hector rings his bell in furious protest as Gus and Bolsa continue to talk in private, with Bolsa warning Gus that he should conclude his business with Walt as quickly as he can if he wishes to remain on good terms with the cartel. There was also no telling how long the Cousins would wait before they go after Walt again...
Still in the doghouse with Skyler, Walt is forced to sleep on the floor of Holly's bedroom, with Holly now staying in Skyler's room.
Skyler meets with her divorce lawyer, and finally admits to her, thanks to attorney-client privilege allowing her to say so in confidence, that her husband makes meth. The lawyer suggests Skyler divorce him immediately and sue him while she contacted the police, but Skyler is reluctant to do so: she fears what would happen if her son found out the truth about his father.
Hank and Gomez take a trip to a seedy bar, where Hank confides that he is having trouble getting ready to return to El Paso. Hank fights back against a panic attack in the bathroom before leaving his sidearm in his car and starting a brawl in the bar. After they return to HQ, Gomez tells Hank that he corroborate his story to the ASAC that the other bar patrons started the fight, but left out the fact that he left his sidearm in his car before picking a fight.
Jesse continues to call Jane's phone to hear her voice until it is disconnected. The next morning, he returns to his RV and prepares to cook once more.
Walt finally explains to Skyler that he made the money to pay off his hospital bills from drugs, but the money that he was earning would help to pay for Junior and Holly's college tuition, their mortgage, and other expenses after he has passed. He states that everything he did was for the family, and would mean nothing if she did not accept it. Skyler doesn't say a word, glaring daggers at Walt all the while.
The following day, Skyler meets Ted Beneke in the break room. She suddenly kisses him, then asks if his kids are home. Ted, pleasantly surprised, says "No"...
That night, Skyler returns home to Walt cooking for Junior and a friend who came over. He is eager to hear what Skyler had to say about what they discussed that morning. Skyler's response is only three words, but those words made her intent very clear, and shake Walter to his very core...
"I fucked Ted."
This episode contains examples of:
- Bilingual Bonus: If you know Spanish, you'll catch a funny movie shoutout in the intro with Tortuga. He says, "There are two kinds of people in this world: those who pour drinks and those who drink. Now shut up and fill my glass," which seems to be a reference to the iconic statement made by Blondie to Tuco after the Mexican Standoff from The Good, the Bad and the Ugly: "You see in this world, there are two kinds of people, my friend: those with loaded guns and those who dig. You dig."
- Cradle of Loneliness: Jesse does this while listening to Jane's voice on the phone.
- Dead Star Walking: Danny Trejo gets this treatment for the second time in this series. The first time, he was killed off screen after his One-Scene Wonder turn as Tortuga. This episode begins by showing Tortuga's execution, providing a few more details concerning his death.
- Idiosyncratic Episode Naming: "I fucked Ted."
- Jerkass Has a Point: Walt is blatantly ignoring Skyler's wishes as well as showing off in front of his son, but the house is jointly owned so he can't be arrested for, "breaking and entering in his own home", as the police rightly tell Skyler.
- Like a Son to Me: Don Salamanca's late nephew, Tuco, is referred to in this way by Bolsa.
- Off with His Head!: Tortuga.
- Police are Useless: Played with. The cops who respond to Skyler's claim of domestic abuse defy expectations by actually being sympathetic to her, but have to break it to her that unfortunately, without any evidence to her claims, their hands are tied, and, because Walt's name is still on the property lease, he is legally allowed to be in the house. The script even emphasizes that they have been through many domestic abuse claims and sense that something is up.
- What's more, Skyler doesn't want Walt Jr. to know that his father is a drug manufacturer, so she has to keep that from the police.
- Precision F-Strike: "I fucked Ted."
- The Reveal: The cousins were the ones who killed Tortuga, while Bolsa provided the tortoise.
- Took a Level in Jerkass:
- Walt breaks into the house against his wife's wishes and acts like Skyler has been mistreating him in front of his son, which leads to...
- Skyler having an affair with Ted and refusing to listen to any of Walt's justifications for his actions. In a sense, probably intentionally invoked by her.
- Wham Line: All together now! "I fucked Ted."
- Your Cheating Heart: Played with. Skyler embarks on an affair with Ted, although it was done more as a ploy towards driving Walt—to whom she was making it adamantly clear she no longer wanted a relationship with—and his drug empire away than simple lust. It doesn't work.