Comic Strips
TV: We'll return to Santa's Summer Vacation...
Garfield: (That man should not wear a swimsuit!)
— Garfield
Fan Works
Naked servants rushed up bearing trays of food and goblets of wine, a sight that might have been titillating had they looked remotely human.
I actually really like the Sakura scenes for similar reasons why I like the Rider scene: they're uncomfortable. Shirou keeps having flashes of The Shadow (something bad) in the middle of having sex (something that should be good and pleasurable.) Shirou keeps having violent and horrible urges during an act that should be soft and tender (see again dichotomy of "this should be good, but it's not.") All while making it clear that they're two characters who do like and care for one another. It rules!! You are in a horror story. The story does not pause to give you some hornies- you are in a horror story and you are still in a horror story as the porn unfolds. It's cool!
— versegm
, about Fate/stay night's sex scenes
, about Fate/stay night's sex scenesFilm — Live-Action
"Alright, that's enough, Fat Bastard. As much as I like seeing Powers in agony (and I do), the thought of you naked is just gross."
— Dr. Evil, Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me
Scotty: There's so... many... penises.
Cooper: This is the biggest sausage-fest on Earth.
Scotty: It's the International House of Sausage!
Cooper: This is the biggest sausage-fest on Earth.
Scotty: It's the International House of Sausage!
— EuroTrip
"Whoever painted The Trunchbull must have had a strong stomach. A really strong stomach."
—Matilda, Matilda
Sleeper pod opens to reveal a shirtless Ron Jeremy.
.Captain Quirk: My God! Put some clothes on that man!
Boner: I'm afraid he's dead, Jim.
Captain Quirk: How do ya know? You haven't even examined him.
Boner: Can you blame me?!!
— Sex Trek: Where No Man Has Cum B4
Literature
"If a corpse already liquid with decay had risen from the grave, smeared lipstick on its gums, and attempted a flirtation, the result could not have been more appalling."
Magazines— The Narrator of The Great Divorce on a ghost attempting to seduce a Bright One.
Hsu: Besides, this is the gaming audience, the most supportive audience in the world. If worst comes to worst I just picture all of them in their underwear.
(Hsu walks up to the podium to give his speech)
Hsu: I—
Obese cosplayer in the audience: Wanna see our underwear?
Hsu: My mind has just died.
(Hsu walks up to the podium to give his speech)
Hsu: I—
Obese cosplayer in the audience: Wanna see our underwear?
Hsu: My mind has just died.
Podcast
(as Fred removes his shirt) "Mmm-HMM! A little something for the ladies! And that 'something' is 'immediate, violent nausea."
— Mike, RiffTrax, THINGS (1989)
Video Games
Maurice: Hey, hey, hey! Watch your language! This is radio, we have regulations about that sort of thing!
Jan: But you let a naked man on.
Maurice: Eh, he's behind a screen. You can't see him; he's not that exciting. Imagine a flabby guy with a pony tail and a nasty rash. You'll get the picture.
Jan: Imagine one? I married one.
Jan: But you let a naked man on.
Maurice: Eh, he's behind a screen. You can't see him; he's not that exciting. Imagine a flabby guy with a pony tail and a nasty rash. You'll get the picture.
Jan: Imagine one? I married one.
—Pressing Issues, GTA Radio
Takeda: Mileena...
Mileena: Fresh meat~...
Takeda: It's just not sexy when you say that.
Mileena: Fresh meat~...
Takeda: It's just not sexy when you say that.
— Takeda vs. Mileena Match Quote, Mortal Kombat X
Web Original
"Louis Gossett is strutting around a table in way too tight Dockers shaking his ass back and forth like Shakira. And I looked. God help me, I looked. I knew I shouldn't have, but I did. How could I not? His ass was right in the middle of the screen swinging back and forth like I was watching some weird table dance by Reginald Veljohnson. Part of me will never return."
"This week: Magneto fully embraces Casual Fridays on Asteroid M… maybe a little too casual."
—Chris Sims on X-Men: The Animated Series, "Sanctuary, Part 1"
X-Men: The Animated Series, "Sanctuary, Part 1""At last, on February 22, 1999, the world's fate was sealed. A sight is witnessed on this date that is so disgusting that any human being who witnesses it would immediately lose any trace of sanity. Bess was seen naked."
—N106, Bad Webcomics Wiki
"This is objectively a sexy photograph, but holy hell does it make me want to die."
—Corin Deeth III, Kakos Industries
"1278. An elf wardancer chick in nothing but body paint is totally hot. A Vesten berserker in nothing but body paint not so much."
"1328. The very concept of a Hutt lap dancer will earn me a dark side point."
Web Video
"YOU ARE A NIGHTMARE MADE FLESH! You have passed 'Coyote Ugly' and entered into some horrible Twilight Realm beyond! If a man woke up in bed with you, he would happily chew through his own neck! No no no no no, don't give me that, he would find a way!"
— SFDebris on post-op transsexual Quark, Star Trek: Deep Space Nine ("Profit and Lace")
"Remember the good times of La-Mulana. The laughs, the cries, the experiences of a wonderful adventure game before it went freaking berserk and showed me wearing a skimpy swimsuit and I got made fun of by Duracuets. What a... what a lame thing to do."
"Never thought I'd say this, but...this scene involving a nude Kirsten Dunst being bathed by another woman is the least erotic thing I've ever seen."
"DAAAAAH! Fuck it, movie! Fuck it! I- I got a hard enough time watching his acting, you gotta show me his ass?! What the hell?!"
— The Nostalgia Critic, on seeing Tommy Wiseau's butt
"I now understand how someone not attracted to women feels when watching Kill la Kill."
— Pan Pizza regarding Super Duper Sumos
"Wish somebody would taze me right now/This story's 'bout as sexy as rabies right now."
"Oh, just — no! Oh God, no! Why?! I would like to think... that I could have led a long, happy and productive life never having seen John Turturro's ass!"
Western Animation
Timmy: Fairy World?
Vampire: Scary World.
Timmy: You’re not that scary.
Vampire: Yeah, well here’s a photo of your Grandma’s feet.
Timmy: Aaagh! It burns!
Vampire: Scary World.
Timmy: You’re not that scary.
Vampire: Yeah, well here’s a photo of your Grandma’s feet.
Timmy: Aaagh! It burns!
SpongeBob: Sandy, I saw it! It's big... scary... and pink!
Sandy: So's Patrick's belly button, but I ain't afraid of that neither!
Sandy: So's Patrick's belly button, but I ain't afraid of that neither!
"I don't do horror films."
— James Garner, asked if he would ever shoot a nude scene
"The crew was convulsed with laughter, and they kept showing each other cigarette stubs and winking as they did so, as if to say that was the size of my skittle. Camera crews are renowned for their unkindness in these matters."
— Tom Baker on the making of The Canterbury Tales (1972)
"I've always wanted to see Serge Lifar. Now I have. And it's all true..."
"What is true?"
"He is every bit as bad — no, dreadful — as I've always heard." Even I could tell that the flabby-buttocked man onstage was, if not bad, oddly repellant as he struck his poses. Year later, Nureyev said that when he was in charge of the Paris Opera Ballet, his most difficult task was to exorcise the malign ghost of Lifar."
"What is true?"
"He is every bit as bad — no, dreadful — as I've always heard." Even I could tell that the flabby-buttocked man onstage was, if not bad, oddly repellant as he struck his poses. Year later, Nureyev said that when he was in charge of the Paris Opera Ballet, his most difficult task was to exorcise the malign ghost of Lifar."
— Gore Vidal, Palimpsest
"You didn't have to drop your boxers just to show us that."
— Lyra Heartstrings (Friendship Is Magic) in response to Nyx posting a pic of his hairy legs, Bronyism
"Jenny McCarthy has a technologically splendid bosom that should, in my opinion, be put to a better use than being vomited upon."
— Roger Ebert, review of Dirty Love
"I thoroughly enjoy seeing a beautifully proportioned nude male. So did Michelangelo and Rodin. But if the male is blubbery, he should keep his beer barrel to himself and not be a portly polluter."
— June Lockhart
