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Funny / Peter Pan

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Original play


Original novel

  • Slightly pretending to be a doctor in order to "cure" the unconscious Wendy. He clearly has no idea what a doctor is supposed to act like other than a vague feeling that they say "tut, tut" a lot — and so he inserts "tut, tut" in all his lines whether it's appropriate or not.
    • Slightly pretending to be clever, which turns him into something of a yes-man.
    Curly: Let us carry her down into the house.
    Slightly: Ay, that is what one does with ladies.
    Peter: No, no, you must not touch her. It would not be sufficiently respectful.
    Slightly: That is what I was thinking.
  • During the "playing house" part, when everyone pretends to be a family, Tootles decides he wants to be someone else for a while, but nobody will let him take their role in the group:
    Tootles: I don't suppose that I could be the father?
    Wendy: No, Tootles.
    Tootles: As I can't be the father. I don't suppose, Michael, you would let me be the baby?
    Michael: No, I won't!
    Tootles: As I can't be the baby, do you think I could be a twin?
    Twins: No, indeed! It's awfully difficult to be a twin.
    Tootles: As I can't be anything important... would any of you like to see me do a trick?
    Everyone: No!
  • The entire mini-subplot with Hook baking a cake for the Lost Boys and filling it with poison, especially the part where Hook gleefully explains the plan to Smee:
    " We will leave the cake on the shore of the mermaids' lagoon. These boys are always swimming about there, playing with the mermaids. They will find the cake and they will gobble it up, because, having no mother, they don't know how dangerous 'tis to eat rich damp cake." He burst into laughter, not hollow laughter now, but honest laughter. "Aha, they will die."
    • Needless to say, the plan fails, and the cake doesn't play any real part in the plot, but the narrative briefly notes what eventually happened to it:
      In time it lost its succulence, and became as hard as a stone, and was used as a missile, and Hook fell over it in the dark.
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  • One of the last conversations between Peter, Wendy and Tinker Bell, when she tries to convince him to stay with her and not return to Neverland:
    Wendy: It will be rather lonely in the evening, sitting by the fire.
    Peter: I shall have Tink.
    Wendy: Tink can't go a twentieth part of the way round.
    Tinker Bell: Sneaky tell-tale!
  • The Lost Boys make up a way of tattling that involves saying, "I complain of so-and-so".
  • Mr Darling and the medicine. Even funnier is that he was the one who started it by bragging that he took it without a murmur when he was Michael's age.
    Mr Darling: Michael first.
    Michael: (suspiciously) Father first.
    Mr Darling: I shall be sick, you know.
    John: Come on, father.
    Mr Darling: Hold your tongue, John.
    Wendy: (puzzled) I thought you took it quite easily, father.
    Mr Darling: That is not the point. The point is, that there is more in my glass than in Michael’s spoon. And it isn’t fair: I would say it though it were with my last breath; it isn’t fair.
    Michael: Father, I am waiting.
    Mr Darling: It’s all very well to say you are waiting; so am I waiting.
    Michael: Father’s a cowardly custard.
    Michael: I’m not frightened.
    Mr Darling: Neither am I frightened.
    Michael: Well, then, take it.
    Mr Darling: Well, then, you take it.

Disney's Peter Pan

  • Every piece of slapstick Smee and the crocodile put Hook through, especially when Smee tries to row the boat.
  • "I've never shaved him this close before!" (Smee thought Hook literally lost his head while the former was shaving the latter.)
  • When Peter catches Wendy after she walks the plank, the pirates are confused when they don't hear a splash. Gentleman Starkey (who is actually the butler of the Jolly Roger in the original novel) hesitantly says, "No... splash Cap'n.", to which Hook replies, "So, you want a splash, Mr. Starkey? I'LL GIVE YOU A SPLASH!!" and throws him overboard.
  • A distraught Mr. Darling finds his shirt drawn on with chalk. He tries to call Wendy's attention since her stories made Michael and John use it as a treasure map in their games:
    Wendy: Why, Father! What have you done to your shirt?
    Mr. Darling: What have I...? OHHHH!!!
  • Peter Pan says, "Girls talk too much." when Wendy is talking a lot.
    • Followed by Wendy's "Yes, girls talk too...huh? Oh..."
      • Even Peter's shadow thinks so.
    • He tells Wendy to continue. "Well? Get on with it, girl."
  • The mermaids say, "We were only trying to drown her."
    Peter Pan: "There, you see, Wendy?"
  • Smee shaves the feathers off a seagull's butt, thinking it was Hook's face. Then he rubs some aftershave in his hands and gave the seagull a nice firm pat on the butt. You can practically see Kevin McCallister at that point.
  • Drunk Smee. "*sobs* Ain't it a BLOOMIN' *hic* SHAME?!!"
  • Peter flying all around the nursery trying to catch his shadow. The entire thing comes off like a parent chasing a naughty child, which is hilarious considering that it’s Peter.
    • When the shadow dives behind a chair, Peter crawls on all fours to look for it... only for the shadow to stand up and sneak away in the opposite direction. It might have worked, had Pan not crawled around the chair by that point.
    Peter: Ah-HAH!
    • Even when Peter finally catches it, the shadow still refuses to go down without a fight, managing to land a sweet kick on Peter’s chin as they wrestle on the floor. And in the end, as Peter tries to stick it back on, it simply sits there, looking like a child throwing a sulk.
  • How does Peter try to stick his shadow back on? He rubs it with soap. Even when Wendy’s Motor Mouth is leaving him speechless, he continues to rub his foot with the soap whilst staring in open-mouthed bewilderment.
  • Tinker Bell's disgust at the size of her hips, providing the page's image.
    • A few moments later, those same hips get her stuck in a keyhole. Seems her discomfort had some merit.
      • Canon: "She was slightly inclined to embonpoint." While this word just means "in good shape", back then that meant curves; think Renoir or Rubens. Today, it means slightly overweight. People who object to Disney's Tinker Bell as a sexpot should remember this. If anything, Disney's Tink is too slim.
    • Tink getting shut up in the drawer twice - first by Peter as he chases after his shadow, and secondly by Wendy as she fetches the things to sew it back on. Both times, neither knew she was there, and both times she ends up tumbling end-over-end to the back of the drawer, getting tangled up in the sewing things.
      • The first time, she’s merely dizzy. The second time? She lifts a thimble off her head and Turns Red with the mother of all Death Glares on her face.
    • Tink’s first attempt to escape the drawer by prying it open with a sewing needle. It goes wrong when she slips on some beads and the bent needle springs back, slamming her into the wall. Slapstick Knows No Gender, indeed.
  • The Darling Children need pixie dust to fly, so Peter gets it by grabbing Tinker Bell by the wings and tapping her backside to shake it out. All the while, Tink is giving him a dirty look, as if to say "Really?!"
  • When Peter asks Tink if she knew her treachery could have killed Wendy, Tink pauses, then just shamelessly smiles and nods her head.
    • Then he banishes her forever... or, well, for a week.
  • The crocodile chase in Skull Rock. Enough said.
    • Hook ends up yelling, "SMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"
    • "Why Mr. Crocodile, do you like codfish?" Crocodile wags his tail, holds up his front legs like a begging dog's paws, smiles and nods enthusiastically. "You do?!"
      Wendy: Oh, Peter, no!
    • There is a brief moment early in the chase where Hook and the Crocodile are struggling in the water. The two of them disappear, only to surface a few seconds later, face-to-face with Hook wrapped tightly around the croc's jaws. The crocodile gives a brief surprised expression before adopting a smug, predatory grin as he swims off with his prize.
    • At one point, Hook is flying through the air with Smee frantically rowing to capture him. Doing his best football player impression, the crocodile - who never once takes his eye off the flying Hook - uses one hand to shove Smee's boat out of the way and flawlessly catches Hook in his mouth.
    • Smee tries to hit the Crocodile on the head with an oar.
      Smee: Give him back!
      Hook: [pops out of Croc's mouth at the last second] Sm— [Gets whacked over the head with Smee's oar]
    • Smee's hit is so powerful that he is able to send the crocodile down to the seabed with the ingested Hook's inertia, forcing him to regurgitate him when he hits.
    • Hook says," "Row for the ship! ROW FOR THE SHI-" but then bangs against a rock.
      • Gets his head out of the water, moves his hair from his eyes, sees the Crocodile coming at him.
    • Even better is when he goes skimming off over the ocean at the movie's end, so it goes, "SMEEEE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE..."
    • Not just the crocodile sequence; most of the events at Skull Rock are pretty hilarious. Starting with this; it's clear that Hook is used to Peter Pan's tricks:
      Peter (in a really echoing voice): Manatoa, great spirit of mighty seawater, speak! Beware, Captain Hook! Beware! Beware!
      Hook: Did you hear that, Smee?
      Smee: It's an evil spirit, Captain.
      Hook: Stand by, Smee, while I take a look around. (really sarcastically) Spirit of the great seawater, is it?
  • When Pan finds out that Tiger Lily has been kidnapped by Hook, the Crocodile is pursuing Hook as usual, he then stops and looks at Peter and Wendy, smiling at them before continuing his pursuit, as though his thought process is, "Food... Food... Food... Oh, hi, Peter! Food... Food... Food..."
  • More of the Crocodile. Just his expressions when he's watching the final battle with Hook, waiting for Hook to fall overboard. At one point, he's just moving his arm around in the water, watching the battle with a very bored expression, as if to say, "Yay, exciting, yipee, when is it gonna be time to eat?"
    • He gets another moment afterwards while the children are taunting Hook and calling the latter a codfish. The Crocodile is splashing the water in time with his jaws set in a wide smile like an excited child getting dessert.
    • Midway through, when it looks like Hook is about to fall overboard, the Crocodile eagerly leaps up to take a bite. When Hook manages to recover his footing, the Crocodile just smacks the water with a frustrated expression, clearly thinking, "Nuts! So close!"
  • When the Lost Boys shoot Wendy down, Peter says, "Well, I'm certainly proud of you... you blockheads!"
    • Then, when being told off, one of them says, crying, "But Tink said it was a bird!" and flaps his arms.
  • When Mr. Darling is bringing Nana outside.
    "You're not really a nurse at all, you're...well you're a dog."
  • When both Mr. Darling and Nana get bashed around a bit, Mrs. Darling and the children say, "Poor Nana" without paying him any attention. He shouts, "Poor Nana?! THAT'S THE LAST STRAW!!"
    • Also during the 'poor Nana' scene, there's Mr. Darling's angry wordplay.
      Mrs. Darling: "Now, George..."
      Mr. Darling: "Now, George?! Now, George!?, Well, now, George will have his say!!"
  • When trying to remember their mothers, one of the Lost Boys says, "I had a white rat!". Another one shouts, "THAT'S NO MOTHER!".
  • Hook is agitated by Smee hammering a "Do Not Disturb" poster to the cabin door. Another pirate jovially comes up to Smee, who shushes him: "The poor captain has a splitting headache. We mustn't annoy him." Cue *KLANG* as Hook comes out right as Smee takes another swing.
  • The scene where Hook orders Smee to capture Tink, where Smee lands in his dinghy, rows the boat across the deck and falls overboard.
    Hook: (sweetly) And where do you think you are going?
    Smee: T-t-to tell the boys we sail through the tides, sir.
    Hook: (shakes his head in amusement) You will go ashore, pick up Tinker Bell, and bring her to me. (flings Smee onto the ground with an annoyed look on his face) UNDERSTAAAAAAANNNNNNDDDDD?!?!?!?
    Smee: Aye, I mean, aye-aye, sir!
    • Just the animation and how fast it is really sells it. The way Smee fumbles with the oars and zooms right off the deck, crashing through the balcony framework all in a matter of seconds just kills.
  • Our first look at Mr. Darling. His searching his dresser, starting with the top drawer before looking in the bottom.
    Mr. Darling: Mary, unless I find my cufflinks, we don't go to the party. And if we don't go to the party, I can never show my face in the office again. And if I can never show— (bumps head on top drawer) OUCH!
    Narrator: Well... Mr. Darling was a practical man.
  • Peter Pan tricks Smee by impersonating Captain Hook's voice:
    Peter Pan: For the last time, Mr Smee. Take the princess back to her people. UUNDERSTAAANDDD???
    [the entire cave shakes by the loud echo]
    Smee: [voice shaking] Uh, aye, aye, sir.
  • The Crocodile's first appearance. Hook is, of course, terrified, but Smee just treats the approaching reptile like a housepet that's come for tablescraps:
    "Here now, shame on you! Upsetting the poor ol' captain! There'll be no hand-outs today! Shoo, now! Shoo! Go on! Go on, off with-off with you, I said! Go on! Get out of there!"
    [The Crocodile crawls away sulking]
  • Mr. Darling's reaction to Mrs. Darling voicing her concern about Wendy mentioning that she had seen Peter Pan's shadow. The sheer sarcasm that's just dripping from his words is hilarious.
  • After seemingly falling to his death, Hook tries to sneak up behind Peter wearing his hat. He was close to stabbing his back with his sword when...
    Smee: (joyous) Captain!
    [Hook freezes]
    Peter: In the Back, Captain? [complete with finger-wag]
  • Tink tells the Lost Boys a "Wendy bird" is flying their way, and Peter's orders are:
    Cubby: What?
    (Tink thrashes her arms and legs around)
    Cubby: Smash it?
    Slightly: Kick it?
    Twins: Stomp it?
    (Tink pulls her hair in frustration and shakes her head.)
  • During the "Pen or the Plank?" song, Smee sings, "Crook, crook, crickety-crockety-crickety-crook, the croc is after Captain - " but gets bonked on the head by Capt. Hook.
  • Hook tries to strike Peter with his hook hand, only for Peter to dodge it and instead get his hook stuck in the mast.
    Hook: Curse this hook!
  • One pirate is seen sitting on the mast while playing the accordion and singing (and rather badly at that). Hook, apparently, has had enough, and while barely even looking over his shoulder, casually shoots him!
    • And the best (or worst) part? You would have found this most relievingly hilarious if you were just as annoyed as Hook was at that pirate's singing!
      • When hearing the splash of the hapless musician in the water, Smee looks overboard, then (probably noticing the guy was dead before falling down anyways), he tuts Hook ("Shooting a man in the middle of his cadenza...!"), but less appalled and more "Now what did we say about playing with your food?"
  • When Michael tries to take Nana with him, he sprinkles pixie-dust on her butt and she can't come because she's leashed, so she ends up floating butt-first, still leashed.
    • And how does Michael sprinkle pixie dust on Nana? He grabs poor Tinker Bell and shakes her upside down, like a salt shaker!

Return To Neverland

see Return To Neverland

Peter Pan (2003 movie)

  • Peter frowning questionably at some of the Lost Boys' dirty hands.
  • Mr. Darling constantly getting bowled over by Nana and/or his children.
  • Pretty much every scene with Tiger Lily.
    • Michael's reaction to her kissing John.
  • Smee gets several moments as well, including a few fourth wall gags.
    Smee: *to the audience, as the pirates are hiding as Hook is attacked by the crocodile* It's all a bit tragic, really, in'it?note 
    • In that same moment, Hook is given a Shout-Out to his Disney counterpart by screaming "SMEEEEEEEEEE!"
  • This exchange:
    Wendy: Don't you know what a kiss is?
    Peter: *expectantly holding his hand out* I shall know when you give me one.
  • And this:
    Slightly: If Hook discovers our hiding place, he'll gut us.
    Wendy: How dreadful!
    Slightly: Oh, we live for it!
  • And this:
    Wendy: Yes but [Peter] was rather lonely.
    Hook: Lonely? ....he needed a Wendy.
    Pirate: [wistfully] I need a Wendy...
    Hook turns and shoots him.
    Smee:[to the audience] Very exciting, two dead already!
  • It's rather adorable how gosh darn excited the pirates get over the prospect of storytelling. Especially in hostage situations:
    Smee: Brutes! Red-Handed Jill is going to tell us a story!
    Pirates: HOORAY! *all sit down like a bunch of kindergardeners*
  • When it shows the sequence of everyone in London saying "I do believe in fairies. I do, I do". Specifically George Darling who says it right in the middle of giving a speech at the bank.
    • And Aunt Millicent singing it. Badly. In the bath.
  • Peter happily suggests that they kill the Lost Boys for shooting Wendy down. Wendy's response?
    Wendy: While I agree that they are...perfectly horrid...kill them and they should think themselves 'important'.
    Lost Boys: Yes! So important! And unique!
    Wendy: I suggest something far more dreadful - Medicine. It's the most awful, disgusting...the sickeningly sweet kind. Littlest first.
    Lost Boys: Kill us, Peter!
    • In addition, Peter's evil little smile when Wendy suggests medicine caps off this scene.
  • When Peter and Wendy have an argument, one of the Lost Boys says "Uh-oh, Mother and Father are fighting again".
  • Just before his death, Hook tries to save himself from falling to the crocodile by thinking happy thoughts. His happy thoughts are things like "Killing, ripping, maiming, children's blood, puppies' blood" and a whole string of awful things. It culminates with him screaming "WHITE DEATH! BLACK DEATH! ANY DEATH! A NICE SPOT OF TEA!"
  • A lot of Peter's physical tumbles when he first meets Wendy. Jumping in shock so high his head hits the ceiling when Wendy pops up, grabbing his shadow's hand when Wendy holds up the sewing needle, falling off the bed in surprise when she suddenly flings the covers off, his quickly striking a more dignified pose afterwards...
  • When the pirates capture Tiger Lily, John and Michael, they leave them Bound and Gagged to drown at the Black Castle. Including Michael's teddy bear.
  • "English gentlemen do not ''beg''!"
  • Earlier, when Tiger Lily's been caught, Hook asks her where Peter's hideout is. Tiger Lily replies in a long stream of Iroqouis that's un-subtitled but, according to the actress, not at all complimentary, before spitting at his feet. There's a beat as Hook and the pirates process what just happened, before all of them look at Smee — who can only say: "...she says sorry, but no."
  • The Twins tell Peter Tink told them to shoot Wendy.
  • During the final battle, Wendy and John are fighting The Giant Pirate and Bill Jukes, when the two pirates try to run the kids through, the children duck and the pirates end up stabbing each other instead.

Other Adaptations

  • In the Audible audio drama, when the boys build the Wendy house for a weak and recovering Wendy, the scene where she sings (well, speaks in verse) about what the house should be like, takes on a more comical edge as it becomes increasingly obvious she's just messing with them to see how far she can go with her absurd demands, while The Comically Serious John commenting on how ridiculous the entire thing is:
    I wish I had a pretty house,
    The littlest ever seen,
    With funny red walls
    And roof of mossy green.
    Peter: Oh, Wendy! You're back alive!
    Lost boys:
    We've built the little walls and roof
    And made a lovely door,
    So tell us, mother Wendy,
    What are you wanting more?
    Wendy: *sounding like she's trying not to laugh*
    Well, really next I think I'll have
    Gay windows all about,
    With roses peeping in, you know,
    And babies peeping out.
    John: I think she's delirious still.
    Lost Boys:
    We've made the roses peeping out,
    The babes are at the door,
    We cannot make ourselves, you know,
    'Cos we've been made before.
    John: You're all singing nonsense!
    Peter: Shush! We're making her feel at home!
    And I'd like a lovely swimming pool,
    And a terrace with a bar.
    And a sun lounger with a little stool,
    And a great big shiny car!
    Michael: She's having us on!
    Peter: Nothing is good enough for our wonderful Wendy! Now, I'm going to make a final survey of the finished house and make sure that everything's up to scratch.
    I'd love a fancy kitchenette,
    With a breakfast bar and serving hatch —
    Peter: Enough, Wendy! It's all finished!
    Wendy: Oh.
    • Then, later when the Lost Boys introduce themselves to Wendy and say they're all her children, a rather overwhelmed wendy can only murmur: "To be honest, I'd rather have had the patio, the serving hatch in the kitchen and the lovely great big sports car."
  • In the Audible drama, the scene with Peter and the Neverbird takes on an absurd tone because unlike in the book, it becomes increasingly obvious that they understand one another perfectly, they just keep insisting they don't because everyone knows humans and birds don't understand each other. They even have a conversation about how unrealistic it would be for them to do so.
    Peter: Oh, I wish I spoke your squawky language and could understand what you were telling me!
    Neverbird: And I wish I could follow your strange little human words, but never mind!
    Peter: In more fanciful stories than this, men and birds and beasts all manage to understand each other's language.
    Neverbird: I wish we could pretend this was one of those kinds of stories.

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