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Funny / Peter Pan

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Original play

Original novel

  • Slightly pretending to be a doctor in order to "cure" the unconscious Wendy. He clearly has no idea what a doctor is supposed to act like other than a vague feeling that they say "tut, tut" a lot — and so he inserts "tut, tut" in all his lines whether it's appropriate or not.
  • During the "playing house" part, when everyone pretends to be a family, Tootles decides he wants to be someone else for a while, but nobody will let him take their role in the group:
    Tootles: I don't suppose that I could be the father?
    Wendy: No, Tootles.
    Tootles: As I can't be the father. I don't suppose, Michael, you would let me be the baby?
    Michael: No, I won't!
    Tootles: As I can't be the baby, do you think I could be a twin?
    Twins: No, indeed! It's awfully difficult to be a twin.
    Tootles: As I can't be anything important... would any of you like to see me do a trick?
    Everyone: No!
  • The entire mini-subplot with Hook baking a cake for the Lost Boys and filling it with poison, especially the part where Hook gleefully explains the plan to Smee:
    " We will leave the cake on the shore of the mermaids' lagoon. These boys are always swimming about there, playing with the mermaids. They will find the cake and they will gobble it up, because, having no mother, they don't know how dangerous 'tis to eat rich damp cake." He burst into laughter, not hollow laughter now, but honest laughter. "Aha, they will die."
    • Needless to say, the plan fails, and the cake doesn't play any real part in the plot, but the narrative briefly notes what eventually happened to it:
    In time it lost its succulence, and became as hard as a stone, and was used as a missile, and Hook fell over it in the dark.
  • One of the last conversations between Peter, Wendy and Tinker Bell, when she tries to convince him to stay with her and not return to Neverland:
    Wendy: It will be rather lonely in the evening, sitting by the fire.
    Peter: I shall have Tink.
    Wendy: Tink can't go a twentieth part of the way round.
    Tinker Bell: Sneaky tell-tale!


Disney's Peter Pan
Even a 5-inch tall fairy can have weight issues.

  • "I've never shaved him this close before!" (Smee thought Hook lost his head.)
  • "No... splash Cap'n."
  • A distraught Mr. Darling finds his shirt drawn on with chalk. He tries to call Wendy's attention since her stories made Michael and John use it as a treasure map in their games:
    Wendy: Why, Father! What have you done to your shirt?
    Mr. Darling: What have I...? OHHHH!!!
  • "Girls talk too much."
    • Followed by Wendy's "Yes, girls talk too...huh? Oh..."
      • Even Peter's shadow thinks so.
    • He tells Wendy to continue. "Well? Get on with it, girl."
  • The mermaids. "We were only trying to drown her."
    • Peter Pan: "There, you see, Wendy?"
  • Smee shaves the feathers off a seagull's butt, thinking it was Hook's face. Then he rubs some aftershave in his hands and gave the seagull a nice firm pat on the butt. You can practically see Kevin McCallister at that point.
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  • Drunk Smee. "*sobs* Ain't it a BLOOMIN' *hic* SHAME?!!"
  • Peter flying all around the nursery trying to catch his shadow. The entire thing comes off like a parent chasing a naughty child, which is hilarious considering that it’s Peter.
    • When the shadow dives behind a chair, Peter crawls on all fours to look for it... only for the shadow to stand up and sneak away in the opposite direction. It might have worked, had Pan not crawled around the chair by that point.
    Peter: Ah-HAH!
    • Even when Peter finally catches it, the shadow still refuses to go down without a fight, managing to land a sweet kick on Peter’s chin as they wrestle on the floor. And in the end, as Peter tries to stick it back on, it simply sits there, looking like a child throwing a sulk.
  • How does Peter try to stick his shadow back on? He rubs it with soap. Even when Wendy’s Motor Mouth is leaving him speechless, he continues to rub his foot with the soap whilst staring in open-mouthed bewilderment.
  • Tinker Bell's disgust at the size of her hips, providing the page's image.
    • A few moments later, those same hips get her stuck in a keyhole. Seems her discomfort had some merit.
      • Canon: "She was slightly inclined to embonpoint." While this word just means "in good shape", back then that meant curves; think Renoir or Rubens. Today, it means slightly overweight. People who object to Disney's Tinkerbell as a sexpot should remember this. If anything, Disney's Tink is too slim.
    • Tink getting shut up in the drawer twice - first by Peter as he chases after his shadow, and secondly by Wendy as she fetches the things to sew it back on. Both times, neither knew she was there, and both times she ends up tumbling end-over-end to the back of the drawer, getting tangled up in the sewing things.
      • The first time, she’s merely dizzy. The second time? She lifts a thimble off her head and Turns Red with the mother of all Death Glares on her face.
    • Tink’s first attempt to escape the drawer by prying it open with a sewing needle. It goes wrong when she slips on some beads and the bent needle springs back, slamming her into the wall. Slapstick Knows No Gender, indeed.
  • The Darling Children need pixie dust to fly, so Peter gets it by grabbing Tinker Bell by the wings and tapping her backside to shake it out. All the while, Tink is giving him a dirty look, as if to say "Really?!"
  • When Peter asks Tink if she knew her treachery could have killed Wendy, Tink pauses, then just shamelessly smiles and nods her head.
    • Then he banishes her forever... or, well, for a week.
  • The crocodile chase in Skull Rock. Enough said.
    • "Why Mr. Crocodile, do you like codfish?" Crocodile wags his tail, holds up his front legs like a begging dog's paws, smiles and nods enthusiastically. "You do?!"
      Wendy: Oh Peter, no!
    • There is a brief moment early in the chase where Hook and the Crocodile are struggling in the water. The two of them disappear, only to surface a few seconds later, face-to-face with Hook wrapped tightly around the croc's jaws. The crocodile gives a brief surprised expression before adopting a smug, predatory grin as he swims off with his prize.
    • At one point Hook is flying through the air with Smee frantically rowing to capture him. Doing his best football player impression, the crocodile - who never once takes his eye off the flying Hook - uses one hand to shove Smee's boat out of the way and flawlessly catches Hook in his mouth.
    • Smee tries to hit the Crocodile on the head with an oar.
      Smee: Give him back!
      Hook: [pops out of Croc's mouth at the last second] Sm— [Gets whacked over the head with Smee's oar]
    Smee's hit is so powerful that he is able to send the crocodile down to the seabed with the ingested Hook's inertia, forcing him to regurgitate him when he hits.
    • "Row for the ship! ROW FOR THE SHI-" BAM!
      • Gets his head out of the water, moves his hair from his eyes, sees the Crocodile coming at him.
    • Even better is when he goes skimming off over the ocean at the movie's end, so it goes, "SMEEEE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE-EE..."
  • When Pan finds out that Tiger Lily has been kidnapped by Hook, the Crocodile is pursuing Hook as usual, he then stops and looks at Peter and Wendy, smiling at them before continuing his pursuit, as though his thought process is, "Food... Food... Food... Oh, hi, Peter! Food... Food... Food..."
  • More of the Crocodile. Just his expressions when he's watching the final battle with Hook, waiting for Hook to fall overboard. At one point, he's just moving his arm around in the water, watching the battle with a very bored expression, as if to say "Yay, exciting, yipee, when is it gonna be time to eat?"
    • He gets another moment afterwards while the children are taunting Hook and calling the latter a codfish. The Crocodile is splashing the water in time with his jaws set in a wide smile like an excited child getting dessert.
  • "Well, I'm certainly proud of you... you blockheads!"
  • When Mr. Darling is bringing Nana outside.
    "You're not really a nurse at all, you're...well you're a dog."
  • "Poor Nana?! THAT'S THE LAST STRAW!!"
  • "Squaw no get 'em firewood. Squaw go home."
  • "I had a white rat!" "THAT'S NO MOTHER!"
  • Hook is agitated by Smee hammering a "Do Not Disturb" poster to the cabin door. Another pirate jovially comes up to Smee, who shushes him: "The poor captain has a splitting headache. We mustn't annoy him." Cue *KLANG* as Hook comes out right as Smee takes another swing.
  • The scene where Hook orders Smee to capture Tink, where Smee lands in his dinghy, rows the boat across the deck and falls overboard.
    Hook: (sweetly) And where do you think you are going?
    Smee: T-t-to tell the boys we sail through the tides, sir.
    Hook: (shakes his head in amusement) You will go ashore, pick up Tinker Bell, and bring her to me. (flings Smee onto the ground with an annoyed look on his face) UNDERSTAAAAAAANNNNNNDDDDD?!?!?!?
    Smee: Aye, I mean, aye-aye, sir!
    • Just the animation and how fast it is really sells it. The way Smee fumbles with the oars and zooms right off the deck, crashing through the balcony framework all in a matter of seconds just kills.
  • Our first look at Mr. Darling. His searching his dresser, starting with the top drawer before looking in the bottom.
    Mr. Darling: Mary, unless I find my cufflinks, we don't go to the party. And if we don't go to the party, I can never show my face in the office again. And if I can never show— (bumps head on top drawer) OUCH!
    Narrator: Well... Mr. Darling was a practical man.
  • Peter Pan tricks Smee by impersonating Captain Hook's voice:
    Peter Pan: For the last time, Mr Smee. Take the princess back to her people. UUNDERSTAAANDDD???
    [the entire cave shakes by the loud echo]
    Smee: [voice shaking] Uh, aye, aye, sir.
  • The Crocodile's first appearance. Hook is, of course, terrified, but Smee just treats the approaching reptile like a housepet that's come for tablescraps:
    "Here now, shame on you! Upsetting the poor ol' captain! There'll be no hand-outs today! Shoo, now! Shoo! Go on! Go on, off with-off with you, I said! Go on! Get out of there!"
    [The Crocodile crawls away sulking]
  • Mr. Darling's reaction to Mrs. Darling voicing her concern about Wendy mentioning that she had seen Peter Pan's shadow. The sheer sarcasm that's just dripping from his words is hilarious.
  • Political incorrectness aside, "What Made the Red Man Red?" has a funny moment near the song's end when the chief is shown in close up with a stoic expression, arms folded - then the camera zooms out to show his legs dancing up a storm, Riverdance-style.
  • "The Indian is cunning, but not intelligent. Therefore, we simply surround them, and take them by sur-PRISE!" Care to guess who took whom by surprise?
  • After seemingly falling to his death, Hook tries to sneak up behind Peter wearing his hat. He was close to stabbing his back with his sword when...
    Smee: (joyous) Captain!
    [Hook freezes]
    Peter: In the back, Captain? [complete with finger-wag]
  • Tink tells the Lost Boys a "Wendy bird" is flying their way, and Peter's orders are:
    Cubby: What?
    (Tink thrashes her arms and legs around)
    Cubby: Smash it?
    Slightly: Kick it?
    Twins: Stomp it?
    (Tink pulls her hair in frustration and shakes her head.)
  • "Crook, crook, crickety-crockety-crickety-crook, the croc is after Captain - " BONK!
  • Hook tries to strike Peter with his hook hand, only for Peter to dodge it and instead get his hook stuck in the mast.
    Hook: Curse this hook!
  • One pirate is seen sitting on the mast while playing the accordion and singing (and rather badly at that). Hook, apparently, has had enough, and while barely even looking over his shoulder, casually shoots him!
    • And the best (or worst) part? You would have found this most relievingly hilarious if you were just as annoyed as Hook was at that pirate's singing!
      • When hearing the splash of the hapless musician in the water, Smee looks overboard, then (probably noticing the guy was dead before falling down anyways), he tuts Hook ("Shooting a man in the middle of his cadenza...!"), but less appalled and more "Now what did we say about playing with your food?"

Return To Neverland

see Return To Neverland

Peter Pan (2003 movie)

  • Peter frowning questionably at some of the Lost Boys' dirty hands.
  • Mr. Darling constantly getting bowled over by Nana and/or his children.
  • Pretty much every scene with Tiger Lily.
    • Michael's reaction to her kissing John.
  • Smee gets several moments as well, including a few fourth wall gags.
    Smee: *to the audience, as the pirates are hiding as Hook is attacked by the crocodile* It's all a bit tragic, really, in'it?note 
    • In that same moment, Hook is given a Shout-Out to his Disney counterpart by screaming "SMEEEEEEEEEE!"
  • This exchange:
    Wendy: Don't you know what a kiss is?
    Peter: *expectantly holding his hand out* I shall know when you give me one.
  • And this:
    Slightly: If Hook discovers our hiding place, he'll gut us.
    Wendy: How dreadful!
    Slightly: Oh, we live for it!
  • And this:
    Wendy: Yes but [Peter] was rather lonely.
    Hook: Lonely? ....he needed a Wendy.
    Pirate: [wistfully] I need a Wendy...
    Hook turns and shoots him.
    Smee:[to the audience] Very exciting, two dead already!
  • It's rather adorable how gosh darn excited the pirates get over the prospect of storytelling. Especially in hostage situations:
    Smee: Brutes! Red-Handed Jill is going to tell us a story!
    Pirates: HOORAY! *all sit down like a bunch of kindergardeners*
  • When it shows the sequence of everyone in London saying "I do believe in fairies. I do, I do". Specifically George Darling who says it right in the middle of giving a speech at the bank.
    • And Aunt Millicent singing it. Badly. In the bath.
  • Peter happily suggests that they kill the Lost Boys for shooting Wendy down. Wendy's response?
    Wendy: While I agree that they are...perfectly horrid...kill them and they should think themselves 'important'.
    Lost Boys: Yes! So important! And unique!
    Wendy: I suggest something far more dreadful - Medicine. It's the most awful, disgusting...the sickeningly sweet kind. Littlest first.
    Lost Boys: Kill us, Peter!
    • In addition, Peter's evil little smile when Wendy suggests medicine caps off this scene.
  • When Peter and Wendy have an argument, one of the Lost Boys says "Uh-oh, Mother and Father are fighting again".
  • Just before his death, Hook tries to save himself from falling to the crocodile by thinking happy thoughts. His happy thoughts are things like "Killing, ripping, maiming, children's blood, puppies' blood" and a whole string of awful things. It culminates with him screaming "WHITE DEATH! BLACK DEATH! ANY DEATH! A NICE SPOT OF TEA!"
  • A lot of Peter's physical tumbles when he first meets Wendy. Jumping in shock so high his head hits the ceiling when Wendy pops up, grabbing his shadow's hand when Wendy holds up the sewing needle, falling off the bed in surprise when she suddenly flings the covers off, his quickly striking a more dignified pose afterwards...
  • When the pirates capture Tiger Lily, John and Michael, they leave them Bound and Gagged to drown at the Black Castle. Including Michael's teddy bear.
  • Earlier, when Tiger Lily's been caught, Hook asks her where Peter's hideout is. Tiger Lily replies in a long stream of Iroqouis that's un-subtitled but, according to the actress, not at all complimentary, before spitting at him. There's a beat before all of them look at Smee, who can only say: "...she says sorry, but no."
  • The Twins tell Peter Tink told them to shoot Wendy.

Example of: