Funny / Peter and the Starcatchers

• Leonard's line in chapter 75, "And so the box leaked. In fact, it's been leaking since it was back in Scotland; apparently some of it got on a lizard or a snake, which transformed into some sort of strange gigantic creature, which managed to escape into Loch Ness. I certainly hope that's the last we hear of that.
• Tinker Bell is pretty good for these - The audience can understand Tink this time because physical miming doesn't work as well with text as with animation - but nevertheless, there are numerous occasions where Tink's snarking or insulting someone and when asked what Tink was saying, Peter says something completely different.
• The captain of the Never Land is described as "the most incompetent man to command a ship since the formation of water."
• When Alf introduces himself to the Mollusks, they laugh and explain that "Alf" means squid poop in their language.
• After Stache sets two fat crewmen adrift, he gives a pointed look at Smee's plump stomach while saying they can get rid of more weight if necessary. Smee decides not to have dinner that night.
• During a scouting trip, Hook holds out his hand for a spyglass and Smee stupidly just shakes his hand.
• Slank orders Little Richard to milk a cow (which he's tied to the cell door) to escape Black Stache's brig.
  Little Richard: But what's going to make the cow jerk away?
  Slank: You're going to milk it.
  Little Richard: But I don't know how to milk a cow.
  Slank: Exactly.
• When Peter shows up to mock Hook in the second book, the pirate bitterly reflects on how he used up all of his gunpowder vainly shooting at Peter the last time he flew by and pelted Hook with coconuts, snapping at Smee for daring to mention the incident.
• This conversation in the fourth book, when Hook's ship is being repaired during a truce with the natives and the sails are treated with an unfortunate shade of dye.
  Hook: Pink? PINK!
  Smee: Yes, Cap'n, I think they're lovely.
  Hook: Smee.
  Smee: Yes, Cap'n.
  Hook:We are pirates, are we not?
  Smee: Yes, Cap'n.
  Hook: So this is a pirate ship, is it not?
  Smee: Yes, Cap'n.
  Hook: And when we, as pirates, bear down on our victims at sea, what emotion do we want them to feel?
  Smee: I don't know, Cap'n.
  Hook: FEAR, YOU IDJIT! We want them to be terrified of us, do you understand?
  Smee: Yes, Cap'n.
  Hook: We want them saying "Oh no, pirates, we're doomed!"
  Smee: Yes, Cap'n.
  Hook: We do not want them saying, "Oh, look at the lovely pink sails."
  Smee: Yes Cap'n. I mean no, Cap'n.
  Hook: But what pirate ship has pink sails?
  Chief Fighting Prawn: Yours, apparently.
• Peter avoids a trap Hook sets for him by wearing long pants and shoes that he can just fly out of and escape. Furiously, Hook slashes the pants Peter left behind, only to find out they're stuffed with fish guts, which then pour onto Hook.
• In the fourth book's climax, Hook demands Smee fetch his pistol so he can shoot at Peter. Smee fetches the gun, and Hook dramatically aims at an incapacitated Peter and pulls the trigger, only to find out that the gun is empty. This makes Hook yell at Smee for not telling him they were out of bullets, asking his first mate what he thought Hook was going to do with an empty gun.
• When Smee reads a mirror image in "Cave of the Dark Wind," he's confused about why the letters are backward and thinks they were written that way.
• Hook orders Smee to send a search party, and Smee asks if he means right now. Hook sarcastically says no, he means next Christmas, causing Smee to ask how they be able to tell when it's next Christmas without a calendar.

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