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Fanfic / Gaemon The Dragonsteel

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Oh who am I kidding? This is going to suck.

''Gaemon The Dragon-Steel's Guide to Not Dying Horribly'' is a self-insert into the A Song of Ice and Fire universe during the pre-canon civil war, the Dance of Dragons. It is written by user Stranger Orders on the Alternative History Forums, and is being re-written as Gaemon REDUX.

Gaemon is the non-canon twin brother of Aegon (who became Aegon II), and half brother of Rhaenyra. Apart from his Dragon Dreams regarding the forging of Valyrian Steel, and slowly growing rumours of him being some sort of devil-child at court, his main preoccupation is not being viciously murdered in the incoming (and presumably unpreventable) Dance of Dragons.


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    Tropes That Apply Gaemon The Dragon-Steel 
  • All Girls Want Bad Boys: Daemon Targaryen. He manages to seduce two of the most attractive women in Westeros. Who are also his close relations. At the same time. Shame he got caught and exiled.
  • Arc Words: Dance, Dancing and "Dance of Dragons" all seem to come up a lot at appropriate times.
  • Arranged Marriage: As can be expected for an ASOIAF story, there are several so far. Rhaenyra still marries her canon husband, Laenor Velaryon.
    • Gaemon is betrothed to Laenor's sister Laena, who is much, much older than Gaemon. She gets pregnant from above-mentioned threesome, tries to run off to Daemon, but he rejects her.
  • Attention Whore: Clearsky has a massive ego.
  • Big Little Brother: Aegon and Gaemon. Aegon is the elder brother, but both acts much younger (as he's not a SI, of course), and is described as being shorter as well.
  • Big, Screwed-Up Family: The Targaryens in a nutshell. Just like in canon, how much more screwed up can you be when your disagreements can lead to fiery death? Gaemon refuses to call Viserys his father for one thing, and is certain his uncle Daemon is going to murder him. The same uncle also had sex with his niece Rhaenyra. Rhaenyra and Gaemon's mother also do not get along. At all. And the fiery deaths haven't even started yet.
  • Bling of War: Despite his fondness for elaborate designs, Arral seems to hate excessive ornamentation.
  • Blood Magic: What Valyria ran off. Gaemon learns that abusing it caused the Doom.
  • Boisterous Bruiser: Aegon of all people, who grows up to be a gregarious and burly warrior more in line with Robert than his canon self.
  • Break the Cutie: Laena after being seduced, impregnated and rejected by Daemon. Her self-esteem takes one hell of a toll and her POV can be cringeworthy at times. On top of everything she cant even show too much affection to her daughters.
  • Cast from Lifespan: How Valyrian magic is supposed to work.
  • Creepy Child: Turns out, Gaemon is *not* good at pretending to be a normal kid, and people start taking notice, leading to a few people suspetcing he's some kind of demon child.
  • Did Not See That Coming: Gaemon's constant reaction whenever one of his relatives does something stupid. Like Rhaenyra and Laema both sleeping with Daemon at the same time. Rhaenyra offering herself to Criston Cole while drunk, or Viserys and his choices of marriage, page and squireship for Gaemon.
  • Dramatically Missing the Point: Gaemon really has no idea who Rhaenyra is talking about when she says she's found a perfect father for her children and will wait.
  • Eldritch Abomination: What the Fourteen seem to be.
    • Meraxes seems to be more in line with a creation goddess whose shattered form is the source of all metals.
  • Eldritch Location: We get to see what remains of Valyria after the Doom. It's not pretty.
    • There is also Yeen, a city that has known a thousand people but only ever obeyed one. Quelos pulverizes the city by landing on it.
  • Enfant Terrible: What half the realm seems to think Gaemon is.
  • Even the Guys Want Him: Corlys Velaryon, to the point where it's a constant distraction to Gaemon, who keeps saying they should exterminate Hose Florent so Corlys can claim his rightful title as the Silver Fox.
  • Giving Radio to the Romans: Gaemon spends some time explaining exactly why this probably won't work. In truth, he does try introducing some concepts, like the printing press, and as expected these endure years of teething and supply problems.
  • Grandma, What Massive Hotness You Have!: Corlys Velarion is in his early sixties, yet the first time Gaemon sees him he cant help but lick his lips and oogle while internally commenting that a man that old has no business being that hot.
  • He Cleans Up Nicely: Thanks to Gaemon's intervention, Aegon becomes a fit and charming young man as opposed to the slimy bore he was in canon.
  • Hidden Depths: Archmaester Arral is able to very smoothly flatter the king and behave very appropriately while at court, as a stratagem to obtain funding for his expeditions in the future.
  • Idiot Ball: Every Targarean but Gaemon practically juggles these. None more than King Viserys, who later reveals himself to be more willfully blind to the brewing crisis.
  • In-Series Nickname: Lots are borrowed from the canon backstory. Daemon is the Rogue Prince, Corlys Velaryon is the Sea Snake and so on. Presumably from the title Gaemon will eventually have "the Dragon-Steel" appended to his name.
  • In Spite of a Nail: Birth dates, names and personalities of Helaena, Aemond and Daeron stay the same, despite the existence of their meddling older brother.
  • Instant Awesome: Just Add Dragons!: The story does happen at a time when there were the most dragon-riders since the Doom. In-universe, dragons are pretty much a favorite topic of conversation for everyone even remotely tied to Valyria.
  • Iron Lady: Rhea Royce is the sort of woman who shrugs off an assassination attempt and gets right back to ruling.
  • Jade-Colored Glasses: Gaemon has a very negative view of the world around him. Then again, seeing which universe he's in, he probably has the right sort of idea.
  • Kaiju: Dragons never stop growing as long as they live, and they lived a lot longer than canon's "mere 2 centuries".
    • Quelos is nearly 1000 years old by now, and somewhere between Godzilla and Ancalagon in size. Some of the demons in the Smoking Sea are comparable in size.
    • The Rhoynar had some impressive turtles in Gaema's time.
  • Mad Scientist: Archmaester Arral is basically this, plus magic. Lampshaded frequently by Gaemon.
  • Marry Them All: Technically, he's only officially marrying Laena,but as all three of them (Gaemon,Laena,and Rhaenyra) are in love with each other and ahem, getting busy together, it's in reality this.
  • Monstrous Humanoid: The eventual fate of Valyrian Sorcerers
  • Must Have Caffeine: Coffee is one of the things the SI misses the most from his previous life. It turns out that Daemon has some, imported from the Summer Isles, and is addicted himself.
    • “We must lay claim to the Stepstones for the glory of house Targaryen,” I nodded sagely. “And the Summer Isles.”
    • Gaemon lost most of his fear of Daemon when his uncle gave him coffee. Prior to that Gaemon refused to eat or drink anything that Daemon had touched in fear of being poisoned.
  • Only Sane Man: Gaemon again, who seems certain that almost everyone else in Westeros is a semi-suicidal idiot at best. Then again, Gaemon has done some pretty insane stuff himself, such as becoming a dragon-rider age 4, and threatening to have someones hands cut off when he was 2!
  • Psycho Serum: Manflesh is this for dragons, it accelerates their growth and makes them more aggressive, but it significantly reduces their lifespan and causes brain damage.
  • Praetorian Guard: Gaemon's guards eventually gain the moniker of 'White Jaws' after their enamelled helmets.
  • Properly Paranoid: It's probably pretty hard to be excessively paranoid as a Prince in Westeros, but Gaemon gives it his best try, constantly suspecting the motives of even his closest companions.
  • Puppy Love: Aemond toward Aela, Laena's secret illegitimate daughter. Gaemon is rather unnerved by it.
  • Running Gag: Gaemon's constant wishes for Ser Cole's death are always amazing. It's almost sad when Cole is not in a chapter because of their absence.
  • Self-Insert: The author into Westeros, right before the Dance of Dragons.
  • Succession Crisis:
    • Ooh boy, the entire build up so far has yet to reach the massive, dragon-riding, succession crisis that is the Dance of Dragons. Gaemon seems set on trying to prevent it from happening, but tension is building.
  • Straight Man: Ser Eberman to Gaemon.
  • The Stoic: Ser Eberman.
    "As you say."
  • Transparent Closet: Laenor, though Gaemon is able to get him to not be so obvious in public.
  • Unreliable Narrator: Gaemon's "future" knowledge is often inaccurate because the books the SI has read were heavily biased or outright lying propaganda pieces written by one side or the other. Or by people who just don't think cities are worth mentioning when describing the castles they are around.
  • Wham Episode:
    • Chapter 26 Gaemon has just tamed his dragon, and returns to find Daemon has been caught with Laena and Rhaenyra.
    • Chapter 39 Gaemon follows through with the ritual to make Valyrian Steel, stabbing himself in the heart with an Obsidian Dagger. And if that wasn't enough, it also turns out that after ritual, creating Valyrian steel gradually changes you into a sort of Dragon-Human hybrid.
  • With Great Power Comes Great Insanity: To no one's surprise, magic tends in the setting still requires a unique attitude. Archmaester Arral in particular has what could generally be described as the sanity of a squid on fire.

    Tropes That Apply to Gaemon REDUX 
  • Beauty Is Never Tarnished: Averted. The assassination attempt on Gaemon leaves him scarred up and a few fingers short.
  • Do Wrong, Right: When Arral is drugged and tossed into the kennels during their stay at the Arbor, he loudly complains that an Archmaester merits the stables during such an occasion.
  • Improperly Paranoid: Gaemon is under the impression that all of those around him, friends and loved ones, will eventually turn on him because of the game of thrones. He doesn't get that his pendants all have Undying Loyalty towards him.
  • Kill and Replace: One of the White Jaws gets killed alongside his entire family by a Faceless Man, who then uses his face to try and assassinate Gaemon.

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